View Full Version : Kinda A Personal Question For The Guys (Girls can Read too)
Princess_Aurora
07-31-2002, 11:01 PM
Once you're settled down and have all the kids you want, would you have a vasectomy? My mother had her tubes tied as have most of the women in my family. I surely don't want to take BC pills all my life and having your tubes tide is more complicated. And if you get a vasectomy when would you get one? DH says he only wants the two kids and no more so now that we've just had our second should he do it now (if he can overcome the fear) or wait a while still? And for the guys that have already had one...was it really that bad???
Towncrier
07-31-2002, 11:18 PM
The procedure is not that bad and a vasectomy is a lot easier to perform than a tubal ligation. In our case, I figured that it was the very least that I could do for our relationship.
Sterilization is a serious matter and should not be taken lightly. The odds of reversing either operation are slim to none. You must be absolutely certain that you don't want to make any more babies. In our case, we talked it over with our physician and with our parents before going ahead with the procedure.
Good luck in your decision.
Meriweather
07-31-2002, 11:19 PM
My husband had it done when our second child was 2 months old.
Jeff in BigD
07-31-2002, 11:26 PM
I can only speak for myself, but I'm nervous about someone wanting to fool around with the plumbing. I realize they say it's completely safe, but if they do mess up... :eek:
jfulcer
07-31-2002, 11:56 PM
from what I have read, it is a relatively easy procedure to do, and I'm thinking that I'm going to be having this done soon... Conversations are still ongoing. :)
and BigD - for you, it's too late. ;)
Jeff in BigD
08-01-2002, 12:00 AM
Originally posted by jfulcer
and BigD - for you, it's too late. ;)
I've got your vasectomy right here! http://tt.crissup.com/Graphics/Smilies/smash.gif
;)
Troyfus
08-01-2002, 12:10 AM
I agree with Towncrier. It is a very serious matter and all options for wanting more children must be considered. That said......
I opted to have the procedure done when my youngest turned one. My spouse had minor complications during the birth of both of our sons that could have become major. We wanted to try for a girl, but my love for my wife overuled that desire. WE decided to hold at two, and when the little one turned one.....SNIP!
We waited till he was one just to make sure. First year survival factors and all....
Now for the report: YES!! The procedure was in and out in less than two hours (that included the waiting room time).
I was a llittle sore.....ummmmm.... a lot sore for several days, but no complications arose. I followed the doctor's orders to the letter!
My wife and sons went to visit relatives for a week during the recovery. It kept me from lifting the boys or doing anything that would aggravate the healing. The personal time with no "honey-do lists" is a must for the guy opting in on this procedure.;)
Four years later: sex is still as awesome with my wife as ever.......better.....no worries!
IMHO: Any guy who makes his wife get her tubes tied because he has personal fears of losing his manhood, .....:mad:
dianeschlicht
08-01-2002, 05:38 AM
My DH had it done when our second child was 5. We waited 6 years between our first and second child, because our first was not terribly healthy. When second was 5, we knew our family was complete, so he had it done then. It was no problem for him at all. He said it was as easy as a dental visit, and it was done in the doctor's office.
believe
08-01-2002, 06:28 AM
shep: I'm with Jeff..
He may be with Jeff now, but he did tell me he will consider it as he gets closer to 40. The hold off is that individuals do change their mind depending on events in their lives. My SIL wished she didn't have her tubes tied right after #2. She would love another child and I believe they are considering adoption now.
snoopy
08-01-2002, 07:11 AM
Our youngest son was 2 years old when DH had a vasectomy. There was never any question of me having my tubes tied, a vasectomy is a much easier operation than a tubal ligation, so we knew when the time came, DH would be the one to do it.
We did wait 2 years for the reasons named above, we wanted to make sure our family was complete with 2 children. DH was leaning toward another one more than I was, but in the end, we realized that 2 children was perfect for us. Neither of us have ever regretted our decision.
Cindy B
08-01-2002, 07:14 AM
I will practically ditto what Snoopy said... it is a less invasive procedure than tubal.
It was less expensive with insurance as well. It was an outpatient procedure (30 minutes max!)
2 kids is perfect for us.. we got lucky, boy and girl, best of both worlds.
amid chaos
08-01-2002, 07:28 AM
DH had all the necessary matters with the doctor taken care of before #3 was born. He had a vasectomy when DD was 8 days old.
Sore point between DH and I. For medical reason for me I should not get pregnant. The birth of the twins almost killed me and it was suggested that be the last. The pill is not good for me for more health reasons, but DH refuses. Feels he will be less, I guess. Even the Dr. has talked to him about how much easier it is for a guy to have it done and still a no go :(
Troyfus
08-01-2002, 07:41 AM
If your DH has any questions, please ask him to PM or email me. I will answer any questions he might have. I would not hesitate to do it again if I had to make the choice over again. I wanted to take no chances with my DW having any more complications.
The Mystery Machine
08-01-2002, 07:55 AM
All the guys on our court are going to get one.:p We gals feel we did our part, now it is their turn. In fact no one is on BC...our bc days are over.
My friends Dh did it after the birth of their 5th child. HE RAN OUT and got one...wonder why?:)
Mark P.
08-01-2002, 08:27 AM
Sheesh! You had to bring that up,lol;)
After 2 appointments cancelled by the office saying the Doctor had emergency surgery, I'm scheduled to finally get it done on August 30th. At this point, I just want to get it over with, and if they cancel again, I'm going to go elsewhere. Personally, I wouldn't want DW to go through getting a tubal, as a vasectomy's much less invasive.
This past month, I've had a couple friends who got it done, and both made out fine. Just sat around "on ice" for a couple of days:earseek:
Might as well bring this up...A co-worker of mine had a reversal done around a month ago. Now, that was some major surgery, and they won't know for a while if it worked or not.
DH has never even considered that I should undergo major surgery for this when he knows he can handle it via a doctor's office visit. I guess his "Protector of the Family" concept outweighs his "Dude, you are NOT going there!" fears.
One interesting note is that after surgery, you must take back a "sample" for them to test to be sure the "pipes" are clear of the "little swimmers."
The pamphlet says after about ____ "pipe purges" (can't recall how many right now), approximately ___ weeks, to bring back the sample. Being the great, motivating wife that I am, I promised DH we would cut that time in half! ;)
s&k'smom
08-01-2002, 09:08 AM
This is a "sore" subject between DH and me. He doesn't want to get it done but also does not want more children. I can live with two kids but I wouldn't mind one more either. My pregnancies are very easy but wouldn't have one if DH didn't agree. We work seperate shifts so together time is minimal and though there are "issues" with us getting pregnant again I have a fear that when I turn 40 we'll both be as fertile as the green hills in Ireland.
Serena
08-01-2002, 09:30 AM
My dh had it done about 10 years ago. It took a whole 10 minutes.
We haven't had to worry about birth control since.
RitaZ.
08-01-2002, 09:51 AM
Also a "sore subject";) for us. We have 3 children and our family is definitely complete. DH has never suggested that I have a tubal ligation. Do you all know that you need your husband's consent/signature if you opt to have it done? I wonder if the same applies for a vasectomy....
I do wish DH would go ahead and have it done. I think it's the least he can do after me having 3 c-sections. We'll see...:rolleyes:
Kermit
08-01-2002, 10:20 AM
I agree that the man should have it done if you're both sure you're done having children. Having your tubes tied is major surgery. It would probably be a bigger hassle for him, since he'd have to do much more during the extensive recovery time, then if he just had a vasectomy himself.
Not only do you not want to take bc pills your whole life, you really shouldn't. Many doctors won't give them to anyone over 35, especially if you have other health factors like smoking, since the health risks just become too great.
SuiteDisney
08-01-2002, 11:20 AM
Gene had it done after Rachel was born. I got to watch. :teeth: It only took 5 minutes and that was with the doctor explaining everything to me as he was doing it.
The Dr. and I really hit it off. We were cracking jokes the whole time. :teeth:
Steve H.
08-01-2002, 11:28 AM
We're not at that point yet, but we've discussed it and I'll likely have it done when we know we're done with having kids.
browneyes
08-01-2002, 11:30 AM
I wanted Allen to have it done. He was too much of a chicken though. I complained about it to my OB/GYN while he was delivering our son and he told even he was too chicken to have it done.:rolleyes: The Dr and Allen had a bonding moment during the delivery.:rolleyes: I had to go in a month later to get my tubal done (had to wait a month because of possible health complications). They put me to sleep and everything. Men just need a local anesthetic and they're outta there. It took about 4-5 hours after my surgery until I could checkout of the hospital. It only takes about 10 minutes for a man. It's better, from what I've read, for men to bite the bullet and have it done. I'm glad I had it done as far as not worrying about being pregnant-but if I'm late, I'm terrified I'm having a tubal pregnancy-which is something to look for when you have a tubal ligation. And it's also easier on a woman's body monthly if she doesn't have a tubal ligation.
Good luck to your dh.:)
Princess_Aurora
08-01-2002, 01:41 PM
Well, DH is SURE he doesn't want anymore. I on the other hand would love to have a whole house full of babies :)
Then I think, wait a minute...babies grow up. I have one girl and one boy and that's perfect. Plus I don't think emotionally I could give them another sibbling. DD is taking it kinda hard. While she LOVES having a little brother she's been acting up in order to get attention. She even told me mom that I don't love her anymore and that I love Michael more. That hurt me feelings :( So I don't think I could add more sibbling rivelery to our family.
The tricky part is getting DH to do it. He thinks its easier for me to be on birth control. I don't necissarily think he's scared of it...although that might be some of it. He just really hates two things in life. One is spending money and two is going to the doctor. In all the time that I've known him I've only known him to go to the doctor ONCE...except for the dentist which he sees every six months. He won't even go in for a physical which I've been trying to get him to do for like two years now.
So how do you talk a guy into just getting into the dr's office?
antnee
08-01-2002, 02:03 PM
I'll give my answer
NO WAY!!!!!!
There are other alternatives to both a vasectomy and having tubes tied. What if I divorce and re-marry and new wife would like children?????
BibbidiBobbidiBOO
08-01-2002, 02:08 PM
I am so thankful my DH offered to do this on his own when DD was 3(DS was 7). He had always said he would be the one to do it as I had to "birth the children". He took the responsibility when the time was right:D. No way would he allow me to go under for something that was SO simple for him. He was in and out in no time. Ice pack and taking it easy was all he had to endure(and he enjoyed letting me bring him dinner in bed that night;) )!
Towncrier
08-01-2002, 02:30 PM
Just wanted to add a couple of comments. Regarding the "ice", I had always heard that a vasectomy was a 2 beer procedure. You sit on the couch with one ice cold beer in hand and the other one in your "lap".
I had the operation done on a Friday afternoon. Saturday morning I went out and raked leaves all day long. There is a pouch that you are supposed to wear for the week after the operation. Kind of like an athletic supporter. I followed the doctor's advice and had no ill effects.
On a totally unrelated note, it has been 10 years since the operation and a couple of years ago I started being treated for borderline high blood pressure. When the doctor looked over my charts, the last time that my blood pressure was "normal" was the day that I had the vasectomy. I would have thought that my BP would have been sky high that day, but it wasn't. Now don't get me wrong. I'm not blaming my elevated BP on the operation. I think that DD Sarah is probably more to blame for that. And anyone who has met her knows what I'm talking about.
My SO already had her tubes tied when we met, and already had two grown and out of the house children, so that was one problem we didn't have to face. To answer the question, yes....I would do it. I don't think it is fair for the woman to have to take BC pills after a couple has decided not to have any more children. Why should it all be down to the woman?
babybelle
08-01-2002, 02:45 PM
Originally posted by RitaZ.
Also a "sore subject";) for us. We have 3 children and our family is definitely complete. DH has never suggested that I have a tubal ligation. Do you all know that you need your husband's consent/signature if you opt to have it done? I wonder if the same applies for a vasectomy....
I do wish DH would go ahead and have it done. I think it's the least he can do after me having 3 c-sections. We'll see...:rolleyes:
Dont know if its a different over here but during #3 pregnancy (#3 c-sec) I was routinely offered sterilisation , which I opted for and this was done 'immediately' after my third was born (ie during the c sec).
The doc talked about it at length with me as I was only just turned 29 at the time!
Jeff in BigD
08-01-2002, 05:32 PM
Originally posted by ***********
The Dr. and I really hit it off. We were cracking jokes the whole time. :teeth:
The LAST thing I want my doctor to be doing while he's got the knife down there is giggling over a knock-knock joke! :eek: ;)
To be fair, I don't know a lot about the actual procedure. I wouldn't tell my wife to get her tubes tied, just as I wouldn't want her to tell me to get snipped. It's not a matter of me feeling like less of a man because I'm not fertile, I just wouldn't want there to be a mistake that basically ends up with me being a eunuch. It's the same reason I wouldn't get Lasik if my vision was bad.
Originally posted by ***********
The Dr. and I really hit it off. We were cracking jokes the whole time. :teeth:
Okay now why doesn't that suprise me!
Well our plan was 4 kids, I gave her a hard time about wanting three for the fun of it, but the plan was 4 all along. (At the time I didn't know how much APs at WDW cost.)
After 4th was born healthy and happy it was time for me to see the Dr, who's name was Cutler. Doc Cutler did a quick snip and cauterized things, now smoke seeing coming up from down there isn't a great feeling but a little rest and ice and things were fine.
It takes a few months for all the swimmers to clear the pool if you catch my drift. They want you to take a sample in for inspecting a few months down the road just to be sure the pipes are clear.
I have a friend who waited a few months figured all was fine and he skipped inspection. He was quite upset to find his wife was pregnant - particularly after he went and did the responsible sensitive new age guy thing and got snipped. He was a tad concerned about the relationship but it seems all was not severed.
OOPS!
Next time he went in to certify things were taken care of.
So Men my humble opinion is that it is no big deal, far less than labor - when you are sure you are done have it done. But don't be assuming all is safe without that Good Housekeeping seal of approval.
klombar
08-01-2002, 06:32 PM
I agree that it was the only way to go. I would never ask my wife to under go a major operation when I could have an out patient operation done. The only thing I can stress is......FOLLOW THE DOCTORS ORDERS! Dont be a hero and pick things up or run to work the next day. Just grab a few bags of frozen vegtables and rent a bunch of movies. My wife also took the kids on a mini vacation for the week so I had the house to myself. Believe me its been 7 years of not having to worry about more children and birth control. It was well worth it.
As far as cracking jokes.....I actually watched the operation in a mirror. That was way better then todays reality shows.
Jeff in BigD
08-01-2002, 06:40 PM
Originally posted by klombar
As far as cracking jokes.....I actually watched the operation in a mirror. That was way better then todays reality shows.
Oh man! :eek:
Troyfus
08-01-2002, 07:12 PM
Hey Klombar, that would have been so wild. I wasn't offered the opportunity to watch though. I would've! On me that is!!!!
:teeth:
Ditto on the frozen veggies. A bag of peas works wonders for an ice pack. I had mine done after boy number 3. We were sure we didn't want to go through the terrible twos (not to mention the 3-16s) again.
All in all, no real problems. I just remind DW that I am now a ....
SPORTS MODEL!
Buz
cotye
08-02-2002, 02:15 PM
I cringe to think of what would be done... But I know it's relatively safe and is done all the time... just not comfortable thinking about it. Couldn't we just use the rhythm method? ;)
BrerMom
08-02-2002, 03:01 PM
What if I divorce and re-marry and new wife would like children????? Adoption is a wonderful choice. :)
There's a doctor near here that has a neat concept going. He spends all afternoon and evening doing vasectomies. The guys go in after work, spend the weekend recuperating and go back to work Monday. He has a booming business.
I have a fear that when I turn 40 we'll both be as fertile as the green hills in Ireland. :jester: Exactly!!! The older I get, the harder it is to define the "danger zone." :jester:
Towncrier
08-02-2002, 03:10 PM
SPORTS MODEL!
ROTFLMBO - I'll have to tell that one to my wife.
snoopy
08-02-2002, 03:18 PM
I have a friend who waited a few months figured all was fine and he skipped inspection. He was quite upset to find his wife was pregnant - particularly after he went and did the responsible sensitive new age guy thing and got snipped.
This happened to my brother-in-law and sister-in-law. She came up pregnant about 3 months after he was snipped. To say that all hell broke loose in that marriage would be to put it mildly. In the end, after a visit to the doctor, it turned out that his guys were, uhhhh, swimming just fine. All turned out o.k., but to be on the safe side, both she and he had the operation after the baby was born to make it so there were no chance of another surprise pregnancy.
Bob O
08-02-2002, 03:19 PM
No knives get anywhere near the family jewels!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
After our unexpected child my wife had the operation to take care of that problem.
Originally posted by Buz
SPORTS MODEL!
Put's a whole new meaning
on her saying you are a
GOOD SPORT
wink wink nudge nudge say no more.
Troyfus
08-02-2002, 06:22 PM
Originally posted by cotye
..... Couldn't we just use the rhythm method? ;)
Rhythm method? Which one is that?
Is that the getting up every two hours to feed the little one method, :o
the eat 6 ounces of food and puke 10 one, :(
or the cut off circulation to the arm every few minutes as the wife goes through labor pains method? :eek:
;)
zurgswife
08-02-2002, 06:27 PM
Zurg knew that I didn't go to a hospital to have 3 out of 4 children and I wasn't going to have major surgery to not have anymore.....I'm not hospital friendly person...so the snip snip was the best thing for our family.....
But like Zurg and a few others have said make sure you get the 30,000 mile check up to make sure nobody is swimming any more...to much stress if you don't...
Princess_Aurora
08-02-2002, 07:18 PM
Yeah, that would be my luck. Actually, my luck would be more like the "swimmers" were hiding the day they checked and then would come out to play latter on. :rolleyes:
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