Hmmm... bad times... husband leaving

[SammieG]

I dont really know where to begin with this.. but on the way out to our romantic valentines day cinema trip, my husband announced that our relationship was over.

We have been having issues for many years, but I honestly believed that he was my soul mate and that we would work through these problems.

He wont discuss it, saying that its for the best and I will thank him in the future for letting me go and find someone else... but im devastated.

Apart from anything, the weekend before, we booked our annual disney trip for July/August. This is a trip I wont want to do by myself with our son as it involves driving from Miami (as we couldnt get Orlando flights) and since I nearly killed us last time I drove in Orlando, Im not keen to try it again.. Also its a 19 night holiday in three different places.. thats a long time by yourself with just your son... (he is lovely but i wouldnt want 19 days with just him!!!:scared1:)

My husband wont talk about it. We get on fine... yes there are issues but ultimately we are good friends - and he lives away Monday to Friday anyway.

I havent worked for 10 years as I gave up work to look after our son.. I have no money and feel vunerable and scared for the future...

As many of you will know, Ive made some major changes in my life recently. Ive taken control of my weight, and health and was feeling so much more confident and happy since i lost 119lbs...(8 stone 6lbs) - the whole family were beginning to reap the benefits of that. perhaps it was all too much for him?

I have no idea why he wants to go now. He says there is no one else but my theory is that people dont leave unless there is a major reason to do so. I wasnt 100% happy but I wouldnt have left him... :(

Times like this you need your mum :(

[Pinky166]

Ohhh Sammie, I really don't know what to say. :hug: :hug: :hug: You must be so confused if he won't talk about it or tell you why. :confused3

We are all here for you if you need to talk. xxx

[Tinks1984]

Oh Sammie :sad1: So sad to hear about your situation.

I do hope in the end that your husband does give you an explanation as to why he feels the need to leave. But for now, as Claire said, feel free to come and rant to us on here, we'll listen and be here as best as we can for you.

Big Hugs :hug:

[Muscateer]

Aww Sammie my heart goes out to you. Such an awful thing to happen. You must be so hurt and confused. No words of wisdom but sending you :hug::hug:

Keep strong and don't let him off with not talking to you. You need a explanation.

[joolz1910]

Oh Sammie, that is awful. We are all here for you. Talk to us whenever you feel the need.:hug:

I hope your DH is able to give you some sort of explanation soon.

[mandymouse]

:hug: Oh Sammie, I am so sorry to hear your sad news. I really hope your husband gives you an explanation. Take care hun

[Netty]

Sorry to hear this :hug::hug: hope your dh behaves like a man and gives you the answers

[wilma-bride]

MEN!!!! :mad:

I hope you get the explanation you deserve, Sammie, although I suspect you're right - in my experience, men don't usually leave their families unless they've got somewhere else to go or someone else to go to :sad2:

You've done so well in taking control of your life and your weight - don;t let him undo all your hard work. Retain control hun :hug:

[buzz for boys]

:hug::hug::hug: Dont really know what to say but I agree with you that there must be a reason and that you deserve to know what it is.
Please dont undo all your hard work losing that much weight is such an acheivement !! :hug:
Rant on here if you need to X x x

[jamjar84]

:hug: Sorry to hear this, I hope that your husband gives you an explanation. :)

[fav_is_tink]

Just wanted to echo what everyone else is saying and give you :hug::hug:
Stay strong, ask for answers and remember you're number one and you deserve the best!!

[orlandothebeagle]

Oh god ,poor you, I really dont know what to do without my mum and dad, and Ive been married for 19 years, I hope and believe it will work out for you.
:flower3::flower3::flower3:

[howlongtillsummer?]

Thinking of you and wishing you all the best. He is probably feeling insecure because of the fantastic achievement you have made in your weight loss. If he can't be happy for you, you are better off with out him. :grouphug:

[jjk]

so sorry to hear that, hope he gives you an explanation :hug: x

[Goofysmate]

Sorry to hear advice but hope that you get the answers that you want which might hep you be able to move on from this :grouphug:

[natalielongstaff]

Oh sammie im so sorry :hug: please feel free to come and vent on here and yes keep pushing for an explanation you deserve one !

[Nubbedy]

So sorry to hear this Sammie, hope you get an explanation from him soon. Stay strong. :hug:

[PoppyAnna]

So sorry to hear this Sammie:hug: I agree with everything that has been said, I hope you get more of an explanantion from him.
You have taken control of so much in your life, don't let that change, we are all here if you need to talk :grouphug:

[fizz13]

I am so so sorry to read this sammie, and I wish i had words of wisdom for you. I'd like to say that maybe the adjustment will be easier given that he isn't there in the week but that doesnt make it ok or less painful really. I am truly sorry you are having to go through this.
as a sidenote: you deserve congratulating for your 119lb weight loss, its awesome and dont let this stop you feeling good about your new self:hug:

[irongirlof12]

really feel for you :hug: but don't wait for an explanation. you may never get an answer. I hope you are able to create a whole new life for yourself.

If you want any help with the finances etc. then go and speak to your local citizens advice bureau, they will be able to help in many ways.
big hug xxx

[tennisfan]

Sorry to hear this, I hope you get the answers you deserve:hug:

[wideeyes]

sorry to hear this, I hope you get your answers soon.

[Ware Bears]

Sorry to read this, Sammie :hug: :hug: :hug:

[Chilly]

Sending you a hug :hug:

[Claire L]

Oh so sorry to hear this after all the effort you have gone through with your weight loss :( I do hope he can give you a decent answer soon!

From someone else going through a separation :hug:

Claire ;)

[T16GEM]

Sammie, I'm so sorry to hear that you are going through this, I hope that your husband can step up and talk to you about it and give you some kind of explaination. :hug:

[wils]

sending you a big :hug:

[jharrowell]

:hug: I'm so sorry to hear this. Stay strong and don't let him break you.

Men, can't live with 'em; can't arrange their untimely demise...

[Mrs Dazzle]

So sorry to hear this, I too am going through a horrible separation, but following my DH's affair, taking him back and then discovering that they were still seeing each other and him telling her he was willing to give up everyone and everything he loved to be with her. Shame, she never had any intention of leaving her partner so mine and my daughter's lives have been ruined for nothing.

When he first left, so many people said time was a healer. And to a certain extent it is - I do (most days) feel stronger, I do have really bad days, but these seem to be getting less. I too have never had an answer as to 'why' and don't think I ever will. This used to haunt me at first, especially because they way my DH is now treating me - almost with contempt and hatred and I've done nothing other than take him back and loved him. I've resigned myself to the fact I probably will never know and most days I can shrug and think so what, it's his loss.

My DD (17) sadly loathes and is disgusted by her father, not only for his adultery, but for the way he is treating me now (refusing to pay anything other than half the mortgage, knowing that on my salary I can't keep the house going, but he just doesn't care). It's his 50th birthday tomorrow and Katie has refused point blank to go visit him at his sister's where he's living, even though I've offered to drive her over, try and assure her that he still loves her - she simply hates him so much because of the way he treats me that she doesn't want anything to do with him at the moment, but I do hope this will improve over the coming months/years.

I wish you strength, courage and please, please, come on here any time and rant and rave, sob and bawl - you're facing an emotional rollercoaster - but you WILL get over it.

Be strong, you're one brave lady:hug::hug:

[florida sun]

Sammie, Im so sorry you are going through this,big hug to you:hug:

[jns]

sending you a big :hug: