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View Full Version : OT- Adoption ???


LovetheMouse12302
01-23-2010, 12:50 PM
Hubby and I are starting to talk about adoption. I have no clue where to start. I've been researching online and can't tell what information is legit and what isn't. Anyone have information to share? We live in Indiana. Thanks so much!

sl_underwood
01-23-2010, 01:17 PM
I am an adoption specialist as well as an adoptive parent here in Oklahoma. I do contract work to help get kids that are currently in the U.S. foster care system adopted primarily but I know a little about private adoption as well. First, read everything you can get your hands on. I would suggest visiting www.creatingafamily.org/ Dawn Davenport has done an amazing job placing tons of info in one place. There are archived radio shows on every adoption subject you could imagine. She has interviewed the leading experts. This site has a wealth of information.
Once the decision has been made to adopt, there are a variety of different roads you can take. If you want to adopt a newborn or adopt internationally, you will need to locate a reputable agency. Talk to other adoptive families, find out who they worked with, research each agency carefully. There are pubilc records available that can help you find out if this agency has been sued, etc. You will also need to make some decisions about the type of adoption you wish to have. Do you want a completely closed adoption, semi open adoption or a completely open adoption? All of these have their good and bad. Most experts these days reccommend open adoptions. I know several who this has worked for. The children are well adjusted and see adoption as a wonderful and beautiful thing. But I also know families with closed adoptions where the children are the same way.
As for adopting through foster care, it is probably the option with the lowest cost. Most foster care adoptions are free or nearly free. To find out more about foster care adoptions you will want to call your local social services or look at this website www.adoptuskids.org. There are thousands of legally free children just waiting for families out there. I have adopted through the foster care system and have 3 amazing children. It is harder to adopt an infant through the foster care system but not impossible. I have several cases currently where the child was under 3 when the adoption was finalized and 2 of those cases the child entered the home from the hospital. Of course, the parents in these cases fostered initially and then adopted when the child became legally free. There is some risk in doing this but no more risk than a birth mother changing her mind. If you are looking to adopt an infant, my best advice would be to become a foster parent and state you will only take children under 1 who are legal risk- this means that most likely reunification with the birth family will not be possible. Often infants that are legal risk have several siblings who have already come into care and parental rights have been terminated on the older children which is why they are considered a legal risk placement.

I am sure others will give you all the info on domestic and international infant adoption but if you would like more information about adopting through foster care, feel free to pm me. I will be more than willing to share everything I can.

LovetheMouse12302
01-23-2010, 02:16 PM
Thanks so much for all the information! We have been thinking about the foster care system. I have a few questions....when we call our local office, what should we say, just we are looking to become foster parents? :) We are going to research a bunch this weekend!

muscarello4
01-23-2010, 09:53 PM
Would love to share our story with you. We've certainly learned alot about how the system works. Would do it again in a heartbeat. PM me for more info.

I also am a huge advocate of adopting kids from fostercare. Our kids were in the system for 2 1/2 years before they came to our home. We've had them for 1 1/2 years now. They are beautiful additions to our family!

If adopting for fostercare, it is usually free. That means more money for college, weddings, etc. (Oh...and trips to Disney!)

3happydancers
01-23-2010, 11:11 PM
Would love to share our story with you. We've certainly learned alot about how the system works. Would do it again in a heartbeat. PM me for more info.

I also am a huge advocate of adopting kids from fostercare. Our kids were in the system for 2 1/2 years before they came to our home. We've had them for 1 1/2 years now. They are beautiful additions to our family!

If adopting for fostercare, it is usually free. That means more money for college, weddings, etc. (Oh...and trips to Disney!)

My husband and I are 50 years old (he is a little older). Is age a big factor? We have considered adoption on and off but never followed through. I would love to have another child, not necessarily an infant, for my daughter is nearly 12. Or, do you think we may have waited too long to act on adoption?

h518may
01-24-2010, 12:08 AM
If you are interested in foster care here is a great place to ask http://fosterparents.com/CHAT/. These people can usually answer almost any question from most states.

We adopted both of my children through foster care. We got DS(6) at 9 days old and finalized his adoption right before his second birthday. DD(4) came right from the hospital at 2 days old and we finalized at 18 months.

I think adoption is a great thing, but can be very overwhelming with all the information.

As for what to say when you call just let them know for now that you are interested in foster care and ask if there is an info meeting anytime soon. I think most good size areas will have a information meeting to give you some general information and let you ask questions, this helps them weed out people that are really interested after they here what is involved.

lynette j in la
01-24-2010, 12:16 AM
Oh you sound like the perfect family to adopt from Foster care! We currently have a 6 week old. We planned to adopt but our first placement turned out to be temporary and she is going to live with a grandmother soon.
We hope to adopt eventually, but want a child under 3. If you want a slightly older child, you would have a much easier time and if you can take a sibling group you can get a placement sooner.

LovetheMouse12302
01-24-2010, 12:35 AM
Thanks everyone for the information. We are looking for younger children, 3 and under to foster and would love to adopt. I have a 3 yr old son. How often do foster care children become available for adoption, (not returned to family)? Also, if the child you are fostering becomes eligible to adopt, do you as foster parents get the chance to adopt before other families? Thanks again!

Ninnygunk
01-24-2010, 04:49 PM
I love hearing about families hoping to adopt! I got him when he was 15 days old. There are so many agencies to look at out there. I am so lucky that I live in a city that has a FANTASTIC adoption agency. I'm not sure where in IN you live but I am in KY. Their website is www.kentuckyadoptionservices.org in case you'd like to take a look. They're amazing & so knowledgable. It's a non-profit organization which focuses on humanitarian aid. God bless you all on your adoption journey. Feel free to PM me with any questions you might have!

Jenny (Connor William's Mom)

autismgoesdisney
01-24-2010, 06:17 PM
I adopted my third child from South Korea. If international adoption is in your plans, feel free to PM me :)

Belle & Ariel
01-24-2010, 06:55 PM
We just finished our first week of DCS classes in hopes of adopting a 15 year old girl we know.
I would suggest finding out what classes are offered in your area and taking them. They are called PATH-parents as tender healers-here in TN.
One of the things we learned this week was the high demand right now for foster parents because of the economy. Many parents are giving up kids because of lost jobs and some foster homes are being closed because they have lost jobs.
I also am thrilled when I read about people on here adopting or fostering.
Blessings to you all!

quentina
01-24-2010, 08:52 PM
Thanks so much for all the information! We have been thinking about the foster care system. I have a few questions....when we call our local office, what should we say, just we are looking to become foster parents? :) We are going to research a bunch this weekend!

I second foster care....2 of my 3 kids came to us this way. It was an amazing experience. There are so many kids in need of their forever homes.

quentina
01-24-2010, 08:55 PM
Thanks everyone for the information. We are looking for younger children, 3 and under to foster and would love to adopt. I have a 3 yr old son. How often do foster care children become available for adoption, (not returned to family)? Also, if the child you are fostering becomes eligible to adopt, do you as foster parents get the chance to adopt before other families? Thanks again!

Our foster care placement was based with the knowledge we would adopt the child. Our casework searched for a child with low legal risk (in the system for over 15 months and close to termination of rights). Although, there was some risk that we needed to be aware of, they were confident that it would not be an issue.

A few months after getting my daughter, we got a call to take her baby brother. We adopted both in the same ceromony....1.5 years from placement to adoption. It would of been quicker however, the local court only does adoption proceedings 2 times per month. The waitlist was quite long.

My advice....talk open and honest with your case worker. Most want to do the right thing and will listen to what you are saying.

GoHerd1028
01-24-2010, 09:57 PM
We have gone through the adoption process twice. The first time was with an agency based out of California and they matched us with a birthmom in NY. The second time was a private adoption in Illinois. We live in Ohio. We learned a lot the first time that helped us to save on expenses the second time. We were blessed to be present when both children were born and take them from the hospital upon discharge both times. If you would like to have any more info please feel free to PM me. Wife and I love to help others on one of the most fantastic journeys you could ever take!!

sl_underwood
01-24-2010, 11:17 PM
Thanks so much for all the information! We have been thinking about the foster care system. I have a few questions....when we call our local office, what should we say, just we are looking to become foster parents? :) We are going to research a bunch this weekend!

No, Let them know you are interested in foster care and adoption. Make it clear if you only want legally free children or if you only want a child who will most likely be legally free. If you are ok with fostering, do that too. I am mom to a child who I never anticipated adopting. He wasnt in my age range, was an emergency placement but if I had not agreed to take him home with me I would have missed out on parenting a truly amazing little boy.

sl_underwood
01-24-2010, 11:25 PM
Thanks everyone for the information. We are looking for younger children, 3 and under to foster and would love to adopt. I have a 3 yr old son. How often do foster care children become available for adoption, (not returned to family)? Also, if the child you are fostering becomes eligible to adopt, do you as foster parents get the chance to adopt before other families? Thanks again!

In our area, less than half of the children in foster care currently have a goal of reunification. That means more than half of all the kids in care are either legally free or in the process of becoming legally free for adoption. According to the adoptuskids website The average age of children waiting to be adopted is 8 years old and 30,000 of waiting children are 3yrs & under. 39% of children waiting for adoption are white, 30% are black, 21% are Hispanic. As for whether they will look at foster parents first, in our area they do. I believe they do in all areas.

starsweeper
01-24-2010, 11:31 PM
I cannot answer questions about foster care, but wanted to wish you good luck in your process to adopt. Both of my children were adopted internationally, and while it is an arduous process, the rewards are beyond measure. When a child is finally yours, you forget the struggle to get there as if it never existed. :cloud9:

Deffenm
01-25-2010, 08:38 AM
I just wanted to say good luck. We have 3 adopted children from the Foster Care system. We did not foster but did straight adoption. Our children were 2, 2, & 6 when they came to live with us. Our first Ds was 2 and then we adopted DS & DD together as they are a sibling group. We were only looking to adopt one more but we just couldn't let them be seperated. I couldn't imagine a day without them.

LovetheMouse12302
01-25-2010, 12:47 PM
I called our local office this morning. They are going to send us a packet of information and they mentioned some training course we would need to take. So how long is the whole process, from classes to placement?

momtolots
03-01-2010, 09:07 PM
Our youngest 2 are also adopted from the fostercare system here in Canada. We also continue to foster longterm placements. We LOVE what we do, and find it a very rewarding experience. Here the course is 10wks, and you can expect a placement within a wk of finishing the course. Courses are ongoing all year round. Good luck!

*pixie*dust*
03-01-2010, 11:02 PM
My son was adopted from South Korea. I did extensive research on international adoption prior to deciding that my child was in Korea. If you have interest in IA please feel free to ask. Adoption is an amazing journey.

muscarello4
03-01-2010, 11:22 PM
Classes to placement was 10 months for us. We were VERY fast. Classes in August and kiddos the following June. We finalized 5 months later in November. In my experience, some people go a bit faster and many go a bit slower. We were all over getting our paperwork and classes done quickly.

eeyorefan74
03-02-2010, 03:51 PM
We only had four months between the time we started classes to having our daughter placed with us as a foster child. We had ten weeks of classes, about 3 hours each, and a ton of paperwork, home visits, etc. She was with us as a foster child for five months before the adoption was finalized. We're in Alabama and there was a big push last year to complete adoptions of foster kids whose parents had already terminated their rights.

For us, though it wasn't without its frustrations, it was ultimately a pretty easy process. We would have had a hard time affording international or regular domestic adoption, so foster care was a great option for us. I'd be glad to answer any questions about our experience.

Momto3cuties
03-02-2010, 04:05 PM
While I specifically can not help you with foster adopt I wanted to wish you well on this amazing journey. My two sons are adopted from Russia. It was the most amazing experience of our lives and they are just the loves of my life.

2shortpeopleruleme
03-05-2010, 03:14 PM
I am an adoptive Mommy, my ODD was born in Guatemala. I just wanted to wish you luck on this awesome trip you are about to take. :love: There is a website that includes information on both domestic and international adoptions. www.adoption.com

badblackpug
03-05-2010, 03:36 PM
I don't want to put a damper on things, put people aren't mentioning that older adopted children, particularly children that come out of foster care, often come with a lot of emotional baggage. Along with that baggage also comes some behavioral issues. I am not saying that it is not worth it, but I am saying that you need to be prepared, sometimes the transition can be rough. Hopefully your local agency will discuss this and the need for family counseling with you.

In addition, in this area if you are willing to be placed with a child that is African American, biracial, or Latino, your placement is often quicker, even with infants. If you are African American yourself your placement is even quicker.