My family disappointed me...AGAIN! (a little long)

[Pumbaa_]

Quick history...
My parent's 40th anniversary is in September. They are taking the family to Disney ( My DM & DF, My younger DB and hos 1st wife:rolleyes: , My older DB and his 3 year old daughter, my DH and me)
M&D are paying for everything but alcohol and shopping. VERY GENEROUS! I am doing the booking and arrangements.

I invited everyone over to dinner last night to go over the plans, the tentative itinerary, and what everyone wants to do.

My older DB is a lineman with the power company. Tuesday night there were fierce thunderstorms in his territory and they would not release him from work. (He was there all night, poor guy!) He is excused.

Younger brother and wife show up at 6:00 and he announces he has his pool league and has to be there for 7:00. But they took separate cars (lucky me!)

So, all my plans for a family planning session out the window. I had made up these cool booklets listing out where we are staying (the BWV), including what there is to do, nightlife, flight information, menus from the restaurants we were considering, complete with pictures.

My parents are great. They loved it and we had been talking about the plans for a while. I was able to book an illuminations cruise and we are doing a sit down dinner every day.

My brother's first wife just wanted to make sure that they didn;t have to tour with the family every day. And that they were going to the water park 'no matter what'. :mad: I think she is missing the point here, but I am better off with her else where!

I just wanted everyone to be involved and talk about it and get excited! I guess that was asking too much.

So, thanks for listening to my pity party. i just have to accept that the sheep in my family will be following along. ANd trust me, the first person who complains about something.... well, it won;t be pretty!

[nativetxn]

Well you can come here and talk to us. Sorry your family planning session panned out. Congratulations on getting that Illuminations Cruise!

[DaisyDebbie]

I know exactly how you feel :( not everyone shares my attention to detail either. They like it when everything is organized though:rolleyes:

At least you know where you will be going and what you will be doing:)

[kejoda]

{{{HUGS}}}Jodi! It can't be easy planning for extended family. I did have to laugh about you describing you sil at the first wife. Be glad she won't be around you too much. Enjoy your trip!

[Beanie]

Aw Jody...that is too bad...I do hope that it all works out in the long run and they all appreciate everything you are doing!! :)

[KarenNY]

Jody- don't let them get to you. I hope your parents and you have a wonderful time. Say hi to your mom for me:wave:

[Pumbaa_]

Thanks for coming to my pity party! I knew you guys would understand!:big:

Thanks Katholyn! I am really jazzed about the cruise. I follwoed the directions on the boards exactly as to how to book, it was easy!

Glad you liked my description ;) (may I point out they have been married less than a year? I can only hope!)

Debbie, isn't it great to come here! I know everyone here can sympathize.

Thanks Beanie. The important thing is my parents. I want them to have a great time and I want the family to make some lasting memories. Especially with my niece. Can;t wait until she sees the castle! She is in love with Cinderella!

Hi Karen! I will tell Mom, she asks about you often. Thanks for listening, I appreciate it!

[robinb]

I think you are expecting too much out of your family members who are not Disney fans. Especially when the dates are soooo far away (for Disney Mudanes). I know ... I have had the same problem in the past :). I over-planned and tinkered until the schedule squeeked. Then, someone would bail out at the last minute on something like dinner or lunch in the park. Last family trip I did nothing and my mom kept on looking at me expecting me to have something planned. I think she was a little disappointed when I said "nope" I don't have dinner planned and Chef Mickey's was booked solid for a family of 11 every time we called.

Anyway ... the best advise I can give you is to schedule things you like to do. Make no more than one breakfast/lunch/dinner reservation for the whole crew each day. Plan your days at the parks and let everyone know where you are going the night before. Printing an itineray would be fine too. If they want to join you, cool :). If they want to go to a water park, cool :). You'll meet up with them for dinner. They may even want to sleep in and meet you somewhere mid-day. My point is, you don't need to be joined at the hip to have a good time together. In fact, many times it's better to have some time apart ;).

Since this is a anniversay party I would pick one special dinner which everyone must attend and maybe the cruise too. Everything else should be optional. I have had no problem whatsoever showing up to a PS and telling them there were less people than planned. If you let your family members go their own way everyone will be happier. Plus, you still get to plan everything, have it your own way, and they can't complain ;).

[Pumbaa_]

That's the plan Robin. There is a family event each day that everyone needs to attend. It is a sit down meal. That is the only restriction. The reason I wanted everyone to get together is the 60 PS is coming up next week and I don;t want to hear later why did you pick that restaurant? But asking for participation from them appears to be too much. :rolleyes:

I hear you on the planning thing. My husband and I talked last night after they left. We are going to plan us time and make sure that we do the things we like. I will be sure to spend some time doing the things we like, and some alone time.

Luckily, I adore my parents. They really get a kick out of Disney and are really looking forward to this trip. This will be the first family vacation in over 20 years. I hope that everyone can park their 'tudes at the door and remember why we are there and keep that as our priority. Especially since mom and dad are picking up the tab!!!!

[KimRaye]

Originally posted by Pumbaa_
Especially since mom and dad are picking up the tab!!!!
Point taken and NOTED! So should your other family! Obviously, your parents aren't expecting anyone to DO anything except that which you plan (a sit down meal) so, what's their beef? My Goodness, I would gladly accompany my parents on a trip like that!

I hope the rest of the group gets with the program and, it seems your parents will LOVE whatever you decide upon! Go with that! Happy 40th to your parents! Mine just celebrated 40 this year, too! (Mom has agreed to a few days with us on our next family trip but, certainly not paying for it!)

1st wife:rolleyes: I hear ya! Been there, done that! My ex-SIL is now current SIL AND the 2nd wife!! :rolleyes: :( :rolleyes: Watch out what you wish for!!!

DH's sister went on a WDW trip last year, while we were there and, we met for about 15 minutes while at MK since her MIL had a whole plan! I know this woman also but, it seemed we were interferring on their day! Too MUCH Over-Planning, IMO!

Relax and enjoy! My last trip was my best!

[zurgswife]

My parents are great. They loved it and we had been talking about the plans for a while.

My parent's 40th anniversary is in September


So, I think as long as your parents are into it...forget the attitude of your siblings or there spouses.....It is for your parents and if they appreciate all the time and work you've put into it that's what counts....You are never going to make everyone happy....So, focus on the ones who really count.....:D :D

I did the same thing for my in Law's 50th anniversery but my DH has 5 siblings.....and there were about 16 adults and 15 kids....so my advice is do your best and enjoy......also double check that all your deposits for rooms are recieved.....I didn't and when someone went to check out to go home on Jan 1 Disney tried to make them pay for the entire room bill rather then just the mini bar and anything additional they may have charged to the bill.....They said they had never recieved the money from the rooms....It was a $23,000 check we had sent weeks earlier for the rooms.....It was a long day for me spent sorting it out....

I'm sorry I got on a rant too.....Just make sure your parents are happy and you double check your deposits and have a blast....

[yepod]

I feel your pain;)

Hang in there & concentrate on the parents, they are the ones that count the most (& will appreciate it the most when it's over!):jester:

Let your folks judge the ones who don't show up for your PS!

[PamOKW]

Excellent advice from everyone. I've had problems bringing along just one family. LOL!

Your idea of giving everyone their own time and meeting for a meal is a good one. I would plan things that your parents would enjoy and it sounds like you and your family will spend time with them. Go ahead and just pick restaurants you and they would enjoy. If you know someone in the group hates a particular food (like Chinese or Mexican, etc.) try not to put one of those restaurants on the list.

Try to stay flexible and just enjoy the trip. You never know when someone in the group will get sick on the trip or the weather won't cooperate. Months of planning fall apart when those things happen. Just roll with the punches as best you can.

[ChiTownZee]

Well I'm glad your parents liked what you did, and I'm sure they appreciated your efforts (especially since their paying! ;) ) I would forget about your siblings (who seem to have forgotten that you are going as a family and that your parents are paying, and focus on a good trip with your parents. Sure you probably shouldn't spend everywaking moment together, but your SIL's attitude sucks!