Long Post Warning - I don't know where else to go...

[CruiseBoundnKY]

I'm really sorry to dump on you guys, but I don't know where else to turn.

A little about me - 34 y/o mom of 2, works PT on my feet the whole shift, goat farmer so I am outside working 2 - 4 hours a day, married 14 years, recent hysterectomy but far enough out that I can do anything. I think that about sums it up.

So if you will turn with me to your dictionaries to the Y's and look up yo-yo dieter you will see my pretty face with my chipmunk like cheeks. I've had those all my life.

More seriously, I am so sick of off/on with the weight!!! I'm 34 and I'm scared of dying. I currently tip the scales at 230 and I'm 5' 4". I've tried weight loss drugs (phentermine/wellbutrin), weight loss surgery (lap-band), dietitians, personal trainers (in home and at a High $$$ gym), Wii fit, in home equipment, starvation and many others I just can't think of at the moment.

I sit and watch Biggest Loser season after season hoping that someone will "inspire" me to start my own journey. I rack my brain looking for "THE REASON" why I cannot succeed. All to no avail.

Pre-hysterectomey (end of August) I had all but 1cc backed out of my band which meant I could eat like I did pre-op. I was at 205 at that very moment. Had the surgery first of Sept. with every intention of having the saline put back in as soon as the doctor gave me a thumbs up, BUT then I had insurance coverage issues, then we went to Disney for a week, then Christmas and finally last week they put 1 cc back in which is not what I had before but better than nothing. I have "very little" restriction now, but better than before. I will have to argue with insurance to pay for another fill in a couple weeks, but will cross that bridge when I get to it.

My problem is or should I say problems are:

I'm ADDICTED to Mountain Dew like no other.

I LOVE fast food.

I HATE to cook, well not really I don't know how to cook well.

I don't like most fruit and when it comes to veggies I'll eat tiny slivers of carrots and lettuce.

My other problem is one that is something of a mental block that for some reason I never finish what I start when it comes to some things in life. In particular weigh loss. I ALWAYS hang at the 200 mark and when I get in the 180's I turn around and go back. WTH is up with that?

You know they say you are what you eat and I'm a chicken from my head to my feet. I lost my sister to cancer when I was pregnant with my first. I will NEVER forget what that did to me, my family and her family. I do not want to put my family through that.

I'm now to the point that love making is uncomforable. Like I can't breathe uncomfortable. Sorry if that was TMI, but I'm hoping to ramble until some of this sinks into my think skull. I have 2 pairs of jeans that somewhat fit. I am always in a hurry to get home so I can change into sweats or unbutton them. I'm just all in all uncomfortable in my own skin. What have I done???

I know that most of you have way better things to do than read this post, but I needed to put it out there for me to see.

You know, I would love to run. There's nothing that I would love to do more when I succeed one day than to run a Disney marathon with my family cheering me on and second to do the 3 day walk in my sisters memory.

Typing this has tears running down my face. I know how much hurt I have inside. Every time someone has ever thought I was pregnant when I wasn't, all the scars I have from having an obese childhood, all the times in college I gave myself away just to feel loved. It's horrid to think what I've put myself through and what I'm putting my body through.

Ok...now what??? Where do I start? What do I try this time? How do I make this time different? I feel like such an idiot.

It's 7:55 and I think I'm going to start by shutting down the kitchen for the night. No cookies or cereal while I watch the biggest loser. I am going to grab a bottle of water and dig out the wii fit board. I think I will try to do some steps during the show. No, I will do some steps during the show.

Oh, I forgot to ask. Does anyone know of a good cheap pedometer?

Thanks for letting me put this out there. I'll keep you posted.

~WannaBeDifferent

[paintnolish]

Yoyo dieter...you'll see me there, too.:hug: I know what you mean about jeans. I don't want to type my weight, because it might seem like nothing to some, but I am uncomfortable and have gained over 20 lbs. in the last 18 monthes and that scares me. I, too, can't wait to get home and out of my jeans! Have you thought about joining the Biggest Loser thread? I am thinking about joining on Friday. Anyway, good luck and feel free to pm me if you need to talk!:)

[cclovesdis]

Oh, I forgot to ask. Does anyone know of a good cheap pedometer?

Thanks for letting me put this out there. I'll keep you posted.

~WannaBeDifferent

Like the PP said, I suggest you join the BL 9 thread. This will be my first challenge and I am really looking forward to it. I have a gut feeling it will help me lose my last 20 pounds- finally. My parents pay for my Weight Watchers membership. It is a much appreciated montly gift. Have you tried the vegetable juice that tastes like fruit? I understand there is a lower calorie version. I have no idea who makes it or what it's called though, sorry.

What about carrots dipped in low-fat ranch dressing? Or apples or celery with a little bit of peanut butter? I love soynut butter, but the calorie/fat difference is minimal. It's just about taste for me.

I cut up an apple and put it in my oatmeal and then cover it (within reason) with cinnamon.

I just got a Wii Fit a few days ago and it seems to be helping a lot. I did 30 minutes of stepping while watching some of the BL. There's also another DVD called the 30-Day Jump Start. There are six short exercise routines. From what I've done so far, I can honestly say it's a good workout, each routine that is.

I personally love the WISH boards and am so glad I found this part of disboards. I love having a WISH Journal as well. Perhaps starting one would help. I get a lot of encouragement there.

I hope I was helpful. Best of luck!

CC

[MEK]

Wow - it must have been really hard to write all that and share your story. I applaud you for that. I can really sense your pain and frustration.

I have never been obese, but like so many other people I am more comfortable and feel my best at a lower weight than I am right now. I know how food can give short term satisfaction, but in the end over eating makes everyone feel crappy.

It sounds like you have tried so many things, but you have had succes with dieting, so you can do it. I think what you need is a whole life style change and a whole new way of approaching food. When you wean yourself off the sugary, starchy, fatty foods you are going to go into withdraw. You body craves that food. But your body can learn how to crave healthy food. It is just going to take you being uncomfortable for awhile.

I am a big fan of weight watchers because it does force you to eat healthy. Sure, you can eat what you want, but you can't eat very much before you reach your total points. I found that when I do weight watchers the way it is designed to be done, I really can lose weight. In fact, after the first few days its not painful anymore.

Let's face it - your junk food is poison. It's killing you. Get the diet mountain dew, but throw the sugar stuff away. Just cutting out the calories in soft drinks will help you lose weight. I hate to cook too, but there are healthy things you can find. Try simply switching from white bread, rice, pasta, potatoes to all whole grains. It won't be the same at first, but your body will adapt.

You already work outside. Maybe you can add a short walk to your daily routine. Make it longer everyday.

You CAN do this. Just remember, today is the first day of the rest of your life. You have to focus on breaking the addiction to salt, sugar, fat, high fructose corn syrup. You can do it! Good luck!

[donac]

I just bought a Sportline that fits in your pocket for $29. I know that is a lot of money but the kinds that hook on your belt never work for me. They don't register properly for me. I have bought cheaper ones but they have not always worked well or have died quickly.

Good luck with your journey. I too have gotten down to 190 and always gone back up. I am hoping that it doesn't happen this time.

[FireDancer]

The first and most important thing I can say is that the only way anyone will be motivated to make a life style change if if that motivation comes from them. In that sentence is another key, life style change. In regards to the first, I can't tell you how many people I know that wanted to <lose weight, stop smoking, stop drinking, start running, anything else life changing> for any reason other than internally that stayed with it long term. Motivation might come from a show, friends, family, or even here, as will support, but the reason has to come from you. As for the second, don't diet. Diets have beginning dates and end dates but lifestyles last indefinitely...until the lifestyle changes again.

Education is important, so read. There is all kinds of information out there and it is easier to find today than ever. At first it might seem like there is contradictory information out there, and in some cases there is, but as you get smarter health wise you will start to know the credible information. It is like anything else that requires research. I can tell you all kinds of computer information and at first you may believe it all. But if you spend some time reading computer literature eventually you will start to know when I am trying to sell you something and when it is good information.

Which leads me to something else that is good to remember...don't believe the marketing on the front of the package, believe the information on the back. Again, it is a gradual process. At first I just worried about the calories, fat, carb, and protein numbers (making sure to know what a single serving actually is) and then started to read the ingredient list and become more ingredient savvy. I would suggest keeping a food journal which will force you to look at all of these things. There was just a thread today on the community board about how surprising it is that a single serving of cereal can be as low as 1/4 cup. If you have to look at the back to do the journaling you will know what you are eating. It is so easy to underestimate caloric intake.

Another key is to change the way you look at food. It isn't something that fills a void or makes you feel happy when you are down. Food is fuel, not a friend (I think I type that 10 times a day) but it is important. If you start to look at it as nutrition and not recreation it helps to do what I spoke about above. You aren't addicted to Mountain Dew, you just feel as though you are. I am a coffee addict which in itself isn't bad, but I used to put tablespoons of sugar in it. I knew I had to stop but also knew just going straight to black was going to end in epic failure. I decided to get sugar in cubes and start by putting just 3 in my coffee. After I got used to it I went to 2, than 1, than none. It was strange at first but now I wouldn't drink my coffee any other way. To do the same with MD start by buying the smallest container you can find. Figure out a realistic number you can start at and have that many per day. Then step it down. Continue until you are done. Of course, getting back to my original though, you have to want to do this, not just go through the motions. If you want to you will succeed. As humans we invented algebra, built pyramids that have lasted millennia, measured the circumference of the Earth with no more than a stick and a well, and went to the moon. If we can do all of that we can surely stop sweetening our coffee or drinking soda. It just comes down to determination.

The best way to not grab cookies or cereal is to not have them in the house. If whatever you don't want to eat is in the house there is no way we can grab it, right? I always buy food either on a full stomach or just after going to the gym. Both make sure I only make good choices. Maybe after a while you can keep yourself to just one cookie or a hand full of chips, but if at first you can't than just don't have them. The first thing they tell alcoholics is to rid your house of all alcohol. There is no reason to think doing the same for food won't work.

Some of the stuff in your post sounds like it has left pretty deep scars. Just like people use drugs to self medicate anxiety and other ailments sometimes people use food. This is not its purpose and it might help to see a counselor or psychologist to properly deal with those issues.

If you want to run a marathon one day you can. Maybe not in a year or two but with training anyone can run (physical limitations aside of course). Again, there are people who have overcome all kinds of physical ailments, including losing both legs in battle, that have done it so with hard work and determination you can too. It comes down to motivation and that has to come from within.

You have some really good information from the PPs and I hope I gave you some more. I wish you well on your journey and hope you find that motivation in the mirror tonight before going to bed.

[chloelovesdisney]

You can do it! First step, cut out the Mountain Dew. It will be really hard the first few days, but it will make a HUGE difference. Whatever you have in the house, pour it down the drain, don't have it around or it's a lost cause.

I cut out diet coke, I never thought I could do it, but I did. If it's in the house, I will drink it, so it's not allowed, lol.

Good luck!

[CruiseBoundnKY]

FireDancer - Thank you very much for taking the time to respond. You make very valid points. Can you make some suggestions for a starting place for reading?

Thank you so much to the others that have taken the time to post as well.

I did shut down the kitchen. No cereal, no cake. I am still drinking my bottled water and I did get off the couch and walk for about 20 minutes. :banana:

[FireDancer]

FireDancer - Thank you very much for taking the time to respond. You make very valid points. Can you make some suggestions for a starting place for reading?


I started with Men's Health magazine and their website but there is now a Woman's Health. There will be different sites for specific needs but some good ones I found for heath eating are:

http://www.nutritiondata.com/
http://www.whfoods.com/
http://www.thedailyplate.com/

The best thing though is the Google toolbar. Of course this is a bit more wild west and you might find some good and bad information but the biggest thing to look out for is anything that looks like marketing or promoting something from a drug company. That is just one of those things that is hard to define but you will start to know it when you see it.

[Tiger Lily 03]

I like that you have not given up on you.

I WISH there were some magic to let this be an easy journey. I seem to sabotage myself as I get closer to some goals I set. Time to get mad and get it going. Never give up.

I too like the idea of lifestyle change. Don't look at thins using the "D" word.

Think of yourself as something of great value and something you cherish. Give yourself the best fuel you can. Don't let food be your comfort. Make food your fuel and choose to find the best fuel for you.

You definitely have to make the journey alone in that you must make the choices and the drive must come from you. We are here to nudge you along the way, pick you up if you fall and cheer your success. If you help others do the same thing it could also be a motivator for you.

Join in where you can. Make small goals that will guide you toward the big lifestyle change. WANT this. Really start anywhere and keep telling yourself you are doing it no matter what.

[dizluvah]

Hi OP - you have gotten great advice in all the responses above - I just wanted to let you know - you are not alone - I am just beginning my healthier lifestyle journey as well - I am morbidly obese, have serious health issues and I am absolutely dedicated to moving more and eating less! Because I feel it is important to own it - I will post my weight 252 and no I'm not 7' tall :), I'm 5'6".

I have struggled with my weight since childhood - my "regular" weight as an adult hovered around 222 for years - then I gained even more to my current highest ever. I am not sure what changed in my mind but it is like a light switch turned on - I will do this!

Please pm if you ever just want to chat or share our challenges - I too understand the personal sadness that can overcome those of us who are overweight, I am an emotional eater - bored, sad, etc = mindlessly stuffing "comfort" foods into my mouth. I tend to handle those uncomfortable moments (when not only strangers, but friends who I haven't seen in awhile assume I'm pregnant) with humor, mostly self-depreciating.

You can do this and again, if you want another weight loss buddy - feel free to contact me. :cheer2:

[poppinspal]

I really admire you for sharing your story, so much so I stopped lurking to share a few thoughts I had after reading your post.

I find for myself it helps if I break my bigger goal down into smaller goals. That way I can feel like I'm accomplishing thing and that will motivate me to continue down a good path. I found when I set one larger goal I missed smaller milestones and felt less motivated. I like to be aware of what my end goal is but take it in steps.

About a year or two ago I cut soda out of my life. I didn't drink it all the time but enough so that I missed it when I cut it out. Over time I have found I don't miss it at all. I still have soda now and again but when I do I can have only like a can at most because it's too much for me.

I am a big ice cream eater so that was more my problem. I still eat ice cream, I don't think I'd ever go cold turkey on that one. (I love it so much I'll eat it even in 20 degree weather!) But I have found that if I replace it with something like lemon ice I'll get a cold tasty treat but less calories. So I guess what I'm saying is try to replace the things you eat with a healthy alternative that gives you the same satisfaction. I like ice cream so a good replacement for me was another frozen treat.

I was also frustrated by the whole idea of trying to drink water during the day. I struggled to even drink a glass and I know to be healthy I needed water. So I bought my first metal water bottle, filled that up and carried it with me during the day. I know it sounds silly but having that nice water bottle made me remember it every day(I could never remember a plastic water bottle) and I now find I carry it every where and drink out of it constantly. (My latest one is green and had tink on it. Adds a little disney touch to my day.)

I know I find that when I'm taking time to make myself healthy I become a more positive person and have more confidence in all aspects of my life, not just in regards to my body. I have more confidence in the work I'm doing and my friendships. For me eating healthy and getting some exercise makes me a more balanced person.

I just thought I'd share what helps me in case anything might help you too. Good luck!

[paintnolish]

Oh, a site worth checking out is www.hungrygirl.com. She has two cook books, too. She offers lo-cal/low fat recipe swaps for a lot of junk food. Most recipes arereally easy, too.

[Rose&Mike]

You can do it! First step, cut out the Mountain Dew. It will be really hard the first few days, but it will make a HUGE difference. Whatever you have in the house, pour it down the drain, don't have it around or it's a lost cause.

I cut out diet coke, I never thought I could do it, but I did. If it's in the house, I will drink it, so it's not allowed, lol.

Good luck!

:hug: to you OP. First, let me say I am new to WISH, but am so impressed about how caring and supportive everyone is here. You have come to the right place.

As for the Mountain Dew, I agree with the above post. If you can get rid of it, you will start to feel so much better. I have a diet coke "addiction", and gave it up again the last week in December. I eat so much more junk when I'm drinking diet coke regularly, and the more I drink, the more I crave it. I switched to coffee and tea and have slowly been weening myself off the caffeine. I have not had any Diet Coke this year. Drinking tea for some reason, is very calming for me, so you might want to try even just replacing some of the mt. dew with tea.

Good luck! I am trying really hard to not beat myself up this year for falling off the bandwagon, whether it be drinking soda, eating, or exercising. The great thing about life is for lots of things we get a new chance to try again everyday!

[IWISHFORDISNEY]

I am new to the WISH boards too. Come and join the BL9 thread and get going. That is what I did and having the accountablilty to someone has helped me over the past week. Plus they have some great tips like the Spark people board for nutrition tracking. It helps to see in black and white the calories consumed and where they are coming from. One step at a time. The Mt Dew is a biggie. Try switching to diet I know soda is about the worst thing you can consume. At least with the diet you could avoid the caffine withdrawl at first when coming off the sugar. Good luck and hope to see you in the BL 9 thread.

[CruiseBoundnKY]

:grouphug:Thanks everyone for the much needed support.

I've had a good day. I worked an 8 hour shift (all on my feet), then came home and did about 30 minutes worth of outside farm chores. I know thats not "exercise", but I do plan to do something a little later. I did have Mtn. Dew with breakfast, but I packed a water bottle with me and had it while at work instead of the usual. Then at lunch instead of the usual fried chicken I had lunch meats and a sandwich. I had water and lowfat milk. It's far from perfect, but it's better than it was. I just don't have my whole game plan together yet, but I'm working on it. Tonight we're having crockpot chicken and rice. I'll probably have milk/water again. AND I vow to drink more water tonight.

Thanks again for your support and encouragement!!!:dance3:

[chloelovesdisney]

:cheer2:

[pjlla]

I haven't really read any of the responses yet, so I maybe repeating what others have said. I may even be disagreeing with what others have said. But you asked, so here goes (and it's going to be tough love). :hug:

First of all.... applause to you for your honesty and for putting it all on the line like that. The first step is being honest with yourself and it seems like you are.

Second of all.... there is no big secret... eat less/move more is the true key, but of course, WHAT you eat is VERY important in maintaining optimal health. You can choose Weight Watchers or join www.sparkpeople.com or just go it on your own. I would NOT suggest anything like Jenny Craig or Nutrisystem or Atkins, but of course, that is just MHO. I just don't feel like those plans TEACH you about eating right and portion control. It's the old "bring a man a fish and he eats for a day, teach him to fish and he eats for a lifetime." You need to learn how to fish and eat for a lifetime! And that means taking responsibility for what you put in your body.... not by ordering some prepackaged foods. Again.... JMHO.... I'm sure others will come on here and tell you how successful they were with (fill in the name of the prepackaged food system of choice) _______________________. Great for them. And I suppose it could help you START in the right direction. But I wouldn't count on it for the long haul. It isn't realistic.

Third.... make small changes to start. And personally, I would start by dumping the Mountain Dew. That will involve a HUGE caffeine and sugar addiction and you will have withdrawals. Be ready for them. It WILL be tough, but so are many things in life! I'm sure it was tough to bare your soul in the original post, but you did it! DO NOT CHANGE TO DIET SODA!!! While the sugar is making you overweight and wreaking havoc with your pancreas and insulin levels, aspartame and other artificial sweeteners are potentially toxic. Do some reading on aspartame if you are interested. If you change to diet Mountain Dew, you will just have another habit to break later on. Switch to water, flavored water (but without sweetener), plain seltzer, tea (without sweetener). The next change I would make would be to get some exercise. Maybe start walking a mile or two three times a week and build up from there. Sure we are all busy and active..... but you need true sweat-producing, heart-pumping exercise a minimum of three times per week. Laundry, vacumming, dishes, dusting, and gardening are all excellent things to do and great to keep you active, but they don't count for true exercise unless your heart is pumping and you are breaking a sweat.

Fourth.... YOU WILL BE HUNGRY!! Especially in the beginning. Maybe others will say that if you are hungry that means you are not making proper food choices. But I honestly can tell you I made EXCELLENT food choices when I started Weight Watchers (for the millionth time) on 1/2/2008 and I was HUNGRY.... A LOT! But things have definitely gotten better. Thankfully, I really like vegetables and fruits, so if I am hungry I always have an option. In fact, I think nothing of preparing a pot of broccoli for an afternoon snack. And I often eat vegetables for breakfast. In fact, my breakfast this morning was a few handfuls of broccoli slaw, softened in the skillet with a bit of PAM and then I scrambled three egg whites in with them. It was delicious and filling. But like I said, you should expect to be hungry in the beginning. You might not find it as difficult, with your prior lap-band surgery to help you out (don't know much about that??). But be prepared to fill yourself with salad and other vegetables and maybe hot tea. When I was really hungry I just kept reminding myself that it was like labor pains.... it hurts now, but in the end it will be worth it!! :laughing: Also, try dividing your meals into several smaller meals. That has been a tough change for me. I keep sticking to a
"breakfast/lunch/afternoon snack/dinner/evening snack" routine.... but I find when I break my breakfast into two portions, it helps with the late morning hunger. For example, this morning I ate the main portion of my breakfast at first, but saved a few points/calories for later. About 10:30 or so I had a small portion of almonds and some vegetable juice. It was just enough to carry me over to lunch. Plus I got in some healthy fats with the almonds and of course a serving of vegetables! Remember though, when you are hungry, your metabolism is slowing down, so try to not go hungry for too long.... plus you might end up sabotaging your plan if you get TOO hungry.

Fifth.... the fast food addiction. Not sure what to say about this. You know, in your heart, how terrible this is for you. I'm assuming when you talk about fast food you are not indicating that you have a salad and a bottle of water at McDonald's. You need to change this habit. Not sure if it is a habit strictly for the love of the stuff, or if you are very busy and that is your "go-to" meal when you are on the run. There are some reasonably healthy options at most fast food places these days, but if you can't control yourself when you smell those greasy fries, you are better off just staying AWAY. And don't feel like you are punishing your kids when you drive right past the BK.... you are doing them a LIFELONG FAVOR by teaching them better habits. If you MUST stop for fast food you need to know what the calories/points are in the items you are eating. McDonalds is excellent about having their NI posted in most restaurants. Wendy's and BK are fairly easy too. My standard meal at most fast food places is a side salad and a PLAIN grilled chicken wrap..... I remove the wrap and throw it away (just white flour, nothing healthy) and cut up the chicken and put it with the salad.... toss in a bit of light dressing (I carry my own individual packets in my purse because some restaurants have lousy choices). While it isn't a HUGE meal, it is certainly enough sometimes. At Wendy's I sometimes get a plain baked potato and a small chili. I top half the potato with about half the chili (or less) and save the other half of both to take home. That is a fairly filling meal. Many of these restaurants will also give you or sell you a plain seltzer or a cup of water. Of course, you could also buy bottled water. And of course, many of these restaurants have salads available.... but watch the toppings... they can have as many calories (especially when including the regular dressing) as a burger! (And they tend to be expensive in my opinion.) As far as fries go, if I am craving them I might have one or two from my kids. That is usually enough to get past the temptation. Again, I encourage you to do some reading up on the fat/calories that are in a few of the standard fast food items. Read about what that fat is doing to your body. It may be enough to discourage you from EVER wanting to eat there again.

Sixth..... I hear you on the cooking thing. I HATE to cook and I'm not very good at it. But I don't attempt to make anything too complicated. And if I make it, I know what went in it and how many calories it has. Plus I can control it and make it MY way! And usually my way means lightening it up and adding more vegetables. You need to start finding/collecting easy recipes that your family will eat that you can fall back on.... and don't forget, you can make adjustments to those meals to suit your own healthy eating plan. For example, when I make spaghetti and meatballs for my family, I generally skip the meatballs (unless I can find Gardenburger meatballs... very yummy but hard to find). I also skip the pasta. I put my sauce over cooked cauliflower and I find it very delicious. It isn't much harder to make a small pot of cauliflower for myself while making the rest of the stuff. And that is only change I've had to make to the meal to make it fit everyone in the family. When we have tacos (a favorite of DS) I make myself a taco salad. I top baby spinach and maybe a little romaine with a bit of the taco meat (which is very lean and drained and rinsed before adding the taco seasoning.... plus I use about 1/3 to 1/2 soy "meat"), a bit of light shredded cheese, tomato, a crushed up taco shell (just one point!), refried beans and some light blue cheese salad dressing (nice and creamy and takes the place of sour cream). SUPER filling and delicious. I truly prefer that to just eating tacos. When you are planning the meal/cooking the meals, decide on your portion size and figure out the calories then. Don't be afraid to sit at the dinner table with a measuring cup and/or scale next to you. (At least at home.... a bit tougher to do away from home! :lmao:) Serve yourself your pre-planned portion and stick with it.

Seventh.... not sure how to address the dislike of fruits and veggies other than to say.... "just keep trying them, try different ones, try them in different ways and in different recipes". I actually would have to think pretty hard to think of more than one or two fruits/veggies that I didn't like, so I can't really relate. But eating light and healthy will be MUCH easier when you learn to eat some more fruits and vegetables. And don't be kidded into thinking that just drinking juice is going to do it. Juice doesn't contain enough fiber to fill you up properly. And fruit juice is just concentrated sugar. I wouldn't have more then one serving of fruit juice in a day and may be two servings of vegetable juice (low sodium if possible).

Well... I've certainly rambled on long enough. Please feel free to come join us on the BL9 challenge. Even if you aren't ready to weigh in and make a committment to losing weight just yet, just come along for the friendly chatter. It is truly a "judgement free zone". You might find the encouragement and inspiration you need........................P:hug:

[LuvBaloo]

:grouphug:
I think many have given some great advice to you.

I'll add just a bit - for fruits/veggies I suggest trying some different ones if you haven't tried them. I love sweet bell peppers (sweet & crunchy!) and Asian Pears (so sweet and juicy). For crunchy snacks, I'm enjoying Quaker tomato basil rice cakes.

I understand where you are coming from for wanting the fast food. I too LIKE McDonalds. Last Sunday, I had it and that's it for the month.

As other's have said, you have to find the right motivation for you. One thing from last season's BL really sticks in my mind. I can't remember the guys name, but it was one of the fathers that wanted to lose weight to live for his kids. When he flopped on the floor in a workout, Jillian told him all she sees is dead dad. He got up and kissed her and started working out. If being there for your kids is your motivation get them involved in your journey to better health.

Last year when I started, my girls (then 3 & 7) liked reminding me to exercise. The first time I decided no more McD for a set time period, my oldest DD wrote on her calendar the end day. Every time we drove past McD she would say we can't go there. I also stuck a sign on the fridge saying "Shaelyn & Kaleigh deserve a healthy happy Mom" and I put one on the bathroom mirror saying "YOU ARE WORTH IT" because making the changes takes time away from other things, and sometime the guilt about taking time for myself would really bug me.

Another technique I used was never saying "I CAN'T HAVE" anything. Instead if I wanted something bad, I'd ask myself "Do you want to get healthier?" Many times I'd answer yes, and wouldn't eat the junk and sometimes I'd say I want the junk more.

Finally, I read the SouthBeach Diet book, which I found interesting as it talked about why we crave certain foods. I did sort of follow the South Beach for a little bit, but it was too limiting for me, but I did enjoy reading it.

And if you aren't ready to go cold turkey on the MD, have you tried making a deal with yourself, to drink a container of water for every container of MD?

Good luck! I remember you from a previous BL and I think you didn't make it back after going on vacation. You're welcome to come back at anytime, and of course are welcome to just participate in the thread. There's a big chatty group this time who are very supportive.

ONE LAST Comment in this long post:

Good job starting to make some changes! Keep making small changes and they do add up! If you zoom in on a picture its just a bunch of blobs of colour but all those blobs together make a masterpiece! Good luck making yourself a masterpiece.

[TxRabbit]

I so empathize with you. I really do. I share or have shared the same issues.

My soda of choice was Diet Coke. I drank A LOT of it. EVERY DAY. I drank more soda than water. Sometimes, I didn't even drink ANY water. I was motivated by some information that I read about sodas, especially brown sodas, to stop drinking it. It was the only change that I made at the time. It was April Fools day in 2006 when I made the change. In the past, I would try to eliminate caffeine from my diet and I would lump soda into that; I would fail; I would go back to soda. This time was different. I tackled soda all on its own.

I didn't want to be so extreme though. Like I would NEVER drink soda again. I wanted to be able to have one occassionally, but I knew that I needed something that would provide limits, or I would just get started all over again. I had decided that I would allow myself to "enjoy" my Diet Cokes only at the movies. I would NOT get a refill on the way out. It was a limiting factor for me. Let me tell you. By the third movie, sometime in toward the middle-end of the summer, the soda was so NASTY, it wasn't even a treat. I couldn't finish it. I grabbed hold of how horrible it was. I decided that stopping drinking something so gross wasn't really a challenge. It wasn't enjoyable at all. I've been off soda since.

I don't know what motivates you. Does research? In everything you have listed, I would suggest that kicking the habit of the Dew will be very, very difficult, but probably the most important thing you can do to increase your health. I did some simple research on the chemicals in Mtn Dew (never drank it myself and since it wasn't brown, I wasn't familiar). Just start googling sodium benzoate. Keep going with the other chemicals. Read it.

Heres the deal. It's not a fear factor. You don't read the info and get scared and decide to quit. What you decide is that Mtn Dew doesn't fit with your future. What you decide is that you are worth more than what you are doing to yourself by drinking that drink. What you decide is based on a positive motivation. It HAS to be positive to be a lasting decision.

You literally have to think to yourself. I GET to stop drinking Mtn Dew. NOT I HAVE to. I GET to have a healthier life. Good grief. It could be I GET to live. Live longer. Live healthier. See Grandchildren. Not have cancer.

For me, the brown sodas contain a chemical that inhibits the body's ability to absorb calcium. That's it. You see, I DON'T want to be a hunchback in my later years. I want to walk straight. Diet Coke was not getting me to the future that I wanted. You have to get that picture for yourself. You have to see that Mtn Dew is not getting you to the future that you want.

I'm not going to detail what I have read in the brief research that I did, but suffice it to say, I think that you will feel better PHYSICALLY when you stop drinking the Dew. (Once you make it past the withdrawl). I think you will have an EMOTIONAL boost as well, because you will be an overcomer. You will have overcome something that you felt was controlling you. You will now be the one in control. That will be very empowering.

That empowerment will fuel other changes in life.

What PP said about life style is right. It's more than that even. It's life. Your new life begins with individual "for life" changes. You don't need to overwhelm yourself with too many changes.

I could go on about the whole fast food thing too. I've been there too. I'm in the process of breaking that one myself. I know this post is already so long though. I'll cut myself off here.

I really hope that your reaching out results in action. I really hope that your post is reflective of a heartfelt desire that can fuel significant change.

I've also done similar things. I hit an emotional low, reach out, get some positive feedback, feel a little better, somehow feel like I can keep going. But I still didn't make any significant change in what got me to the low. But I felt better, so it all seemed okay. I could face the busyness of life again. I let myself go as a priority. Until the next emotional low. I don't mean to offend, I apologize profusely if I do, but I just read a lot of my own issues here. So forgive me if I put this one on you. I get affected by hurting people. I want change for you. I would love to continue to hear your story. I don't want it to just be a post and then you go away.

btw...mine won't just be a post and go away either. PM me if you feel like talking...

:hug:

[CruiseBoundnKY]

TxRabbit, I don't want to just go away either, but I totally get your point. It's would be so easy for me to have dumped my problems here, read enough to feel better and then walk away never doing anything about it until the next time I ended up right back here again. In the 14 years I've been married, about once every year or so I would break down and cry to DH that I was so miserable. I'd get lots of love and attention, develop a plan to lose weight and be right back in the same spot 6 months later.

This is a horrible cycle to break. I love the saying that if you always do what you have always done, you will always get what you have always got. Or something like that.

I watched Dr. Oz this morning and a guest said that if you have a vision with no plan, that it's just an illusion. WOW, thats a statement. So I need to get my plan together.

I am trying really hard not to eat when I'm not hungry. Thats a big issue for me right now.

Thanks for all of the wonderful words of encouragement!

Karen

[LuvBaloo]

You mention getting a plan together, I highly recommend writing your plan down and keeping it visible :goodvibes

[TxRabbit]

I've had those conversations with my DH too. I get to hear how much he loves me, no matter what. Sure he would like me to be healthier. Sure he would like me to be more fit. But he loves me for reasons beyond my physical self, etc etc. It's wonderful to hear. It makes you feel so good. Hearing how much he would like positive things in life for you and the both of you can be so motivating to get that plan together. But the external motivation only leads back to where you are having the conversation all over again. Been there.

Sometimes DH will express some frustration with the conversation. Like why do we keep having to have this all over again, too. You think, yeah why? And that is motivating to get the change going. Been there too.

Journaling is something that I am doing to try to combat this cycle of my own. They have the WISH journals here. I recommend having an outlet to vent your emotions. I personally am hoping to discover what my own REAL issues are that keep me from maintaining weight loss successes.

Ditto on writing down the plan and keeping it visible.

I've finally started tracking what I eat. I have come up with eating plans before and planned out days to track calories, but I have never faithfully kept a food diary before. I read about the NutriMirror site here. I checked it out and started using it 3 days ago. I have to say. I absolutely LOVE it. I can't figure out how they make money. It's free. There's only two ads, one for their self named store to "support the site" and another at the bottom of every page for Amazon. I wonder if they will charge a fee in the future, but for now...

I highly recommend getting started with it. There's something about tracking everything that you eat, that even if you don't make any changes to what you eat, the simple fact of seeing WHAT you are eating is encouraging for making your reports look better. Your daily intake to look better. This could be a big help with stopping eating when you aren't hungry.

[KathyFP]

Readings


Kirschenbaum, Daniel S. The Healthy Obsession Program. Benbella Books

Kirschenbaum, Daniel S. The 9 Truths About Weight Loss. Owl Books

Davis, M., Eshelman, E., & McKay, M. (2000). The Relaxation and Stress Reduction Workbook (5th Edition). Oakland, CA: New Harbinger.

Burns, D. (1989). The Feeling Good Handbook: Using the New Mood Therapy in Everyday Life. New York: William Morrow.

Kusinitz, I., & Fine, M. (1983). The Consumers Union Report on Exercise: Physical Fitness for Practically Everybody. New York: Consumers Union.

Fletcher, A. (1994). Thin for Life: 10 Keys to Success from People Who Have Lost Weight and Kept it Off. Vermont: Chapters.

Fletcher, A. (1998). Thin for Life Daybook: A Journal of Personal Progress. Vermont: Chapters.

Murphy, S. (1996). The Achievement Zone: An 8-Step Guide to Peak Performance in All Arenas of Life. NY: Berkley.

Schlosberg, Suzanne. The Ultimate Workout Log (2nd Edition). Houghton Mifflin

Schlosberg, Suzanne. The Ultimate Workout Guide for the Road. Houghton Mifflin

Andes, Karen. A Woman’s Book of Strength. Berkley Publishing

Burke, Ed. The Complete Home Fitness Handbook. Human Kinetics

Weinberg, R., & Gould, D. (2003). Foundations of Sport and Exercise Psychology. Champaign, IL: Human Kinetics.

*Nutrition Action Healthletter. This is a monthly newsletter published by the excellent Center for Science in the Public Interest (an independent nonprofit consumer health group). The newsletter summarizes key scientific findings about nutrition in a lively and interesting way. We strongly recommend subscribing to this. To subscribe, go to: cspinet.org.

Tufts University Health & Nutrition Letter This is another valuable newsletter containing very useful, up to date, information about health and nutrition. To subscribe call 800-274-7581 or go to: healthletter.tufts.edu.

[KathyFP]

Fitday is another wonderful free online tracking.

http://www.fitday.com

[FireDancer]

Fitday is another wonderful free online tracking.

http://www.fitday.com

I have used them for tracking and like the site a lot.

A Google search for nutritional information will often get you the calorie, fat, carb, fiber, and protein count of most foods. Just put in the food + nutritional information (boneless skinless chicken breast nutritional information) and you will get the info. It helps if you are eating something out that doesn't have a handy box to turn over and read.

[TxRabbit]

I have used them for tracking and like the site a lot.

A Google search for nutritional information will often get you the calorie, fat, carb, fiber, and protein count of most foods. Just put in the food + nutritional information (boneless skinless chicken breast nutritional information) and you will get the info. It helps if you are eating something out that doesn't have a handy box to turn over and read.
I have found all the restaurants that I have eaten at recently (all TWO of them (Yay for me!! LOL)) at the nutrimirror site, which makes keeping the food diary that much easier...

[Nicholfamily5]

You know what? You guys are all freaking AWESOME!!!!!

So many times on these boards someone comes to the unknown masses just trying to have someone HEAR their porblem, only to be told rude things, and forgot as soon as the post hits page two.

You all have just given her a warm hug and information!! I love it!

OP, I don't have the issues you do, but I still struggle with my self image, and I am trying to get back to a healthy weight. Like you, my goal is to run the disney marathon someday. I'm a big fan of breaking that goal up into smaller goals, so my first is to run my very first 5k this spring, and the half in October. That wine dash and dine sounds right up my alley!

Since it is safe to assume we are all disney fans here, I'll share my mantra. I say it over and over and over again. When I am feeling that hideous burn in my lungs and I just want to walk the rest of the way. When I want nothing more than a large fry and root beer. When I want to blow my whole paycheck on new clothes. "Keep Moving Forward". Walt was a freaking genius.

I also wanted to cheer you on for making those changes you did. Don't belittle them! You wanted to walk while watching tv, and you did! You wanted to change your lunch choices, and you did! It truly is the small steps we make along the way that add up to the big picture. If you look at the whole thing you will get overwhelmed, so break it into tiny goals. Literally make your goal this week to change your bread to whole wheat. There is nothing wrong with that!!!

I won't repeat what everyone has said, but I completly agree with the following:
Don't diet, change your lifestyle. Diets don't work. "If Nothing Changes, Nothing Changes"
Kick the Dew habit. Others have already gone over that.
Write down everything that passes your lips.
Find your mantra. Repeat it over and over until what ever urge you are fighting passes.
and finally, don't forget us! We may be strangers, but we are always here to help.

HUG!!!

[chloelovesdisney]

Just checking in to say hi!

[FireDancer]

You know what? You guys are all freaking AWESOME!!!!!

So many times on these boards someone comes to the unknown masses just trying to have someone HEAR their porblem, only to be told rude things, and forgot as soon as the post hits page two.



That is what the community board is for :rotfl:.

We are a supportive community here but another big difference is that the people who post here are looking for help, support, advice, or all. Often times people on other boards are looking for validation. That isn't always the case of course but you see so often where one person turns the thread that way and then it spirals into chaos.

[CruiseBoundnKY]

HELLO from the barely above 0 temps in Kentucky!

I'm still hanging in there. I went grocery shopping today after work and did NOT buy any Mtn. Dew at all! YAY ME!!! I did buy ALOT of our groceries from the perimeter (fruit, veg, meat, dairy). I have not got my plan together yet, but I'm moving in that direction.

I plan to actually do some meal planning for this week starting with lunch for tomorrow at work.

Thanks for the continuing support!

Karen

[paintnolish]

Great job shopping! That is one of my big problems...I justify junk food buying for the kids then eat it myself. Just don't have it in the house!
Hang in there with the Mtn Dew. Expect some headaches from caffiene withdrawl, but it will get easier!:)

[FireDancer]

Hang in there with the Mtn Dew. Expect some headaches from caffiene withdrawl, but it will get easier!:)

Black coffee with no cream or sugar will get you the caffeine with 0 calories. If you can't do black go with a little bit of stevia or a little bit of skim milk.

[TxRabbit]

Not buying is the first step!! It helps to just not have it in the house. To get past the caffeine headaches, you might also try making some iced tea, especially if you are used to drinking a cold drink. Sweeten with Stevia like Firedancer recommended, or try to add a yummy herbal tea flavor (like a lemon zinger) to make your own blend that would have a bit of caffeine and that citrus flavor that you are used to.

Meal planning is hard. It's my struggle right now. Trying to figure out a nice plan with a bit of variety, something that I can actually do. I hope you have success in figuring yours out!

[yoopermom]

OP,
Your post is one I could have written. I lost over 100 lbs two years ago before and after lapband surgery, and have managed to gain most of it back:scared1:. What I'm trying is to go back and reread all the literature and message boards from my surgery, and remember how I am SUPPOSED to eat (whether or not my band is full, and my insurance doesn't cover it right now, either). One big thing my nutritionist pounded into my head at the time was NOT drinking during meals, but powerdrinking beforehand (water, water, water). I really think that after a year of NOT drinking (diet) soda, that going back to it is what triggered my gain. Seems to set off my sugar cravings.

At any rate, we're with you, and hoping for the best for you.
PM me anytime.
Terri

[CruiseBoundnKY]

Today went really well! I packed my brown bag with healthy foods for work and I only ate out of it. No unplanned calories and only maybe 3 sips of Mtn. Dew this morning. I've had a bottle of water with me all day.

I just feel like I'm all over the place with ideas of what plan I'm trying to follow. If that makes sense. I am making some time tonight to do some reading. I'll figure it out...soon I hope.

Karen

[cydswipe]

A year ago, I bought myself the "gift of health"... small fitness center membership and a very spunky personal trainer... I wanted/needed to get rid of 15-20 pounds. I was a couch potato and unhealthy skinny person most of my life.. then I got to my thirties!! haha!

Here's what I've learned:

1. Exercise gets easier... for example:

I hated running... what I learned, you don't have to run at 100% for a half hour to get results. At first, I couldn't do it for very long at all. My trainer told me run for 1 minute, walk 1 minute... by golly she was RIGHT! Each cardio session got easier "which was good and bad at the same time!" When it got easier, it was time to "up it"... eventually, that is key, EVENTUALLY you get better and begin to LIKE the challenge.. Don't kill yourself trying, you will be super sore and likely to not try again.

2. Find a routine

3. Burning 250 calories per day maintains weight. To lose a pound a week (manageable and achievable) you need to burn 500 calories. A pound is 3200 calories... You may want to look up the calorie count on your favorite fast food... one sandwich could equal a VERY VERY LONG WALK.... try to think of the junk you eat in terms of burning it off... The bag of M and M 's are not worth the 30 minutes on the thread mill for me! haha

4. Do something different... treadmill, stairmaster for cardio... spice it up a little. Walk to the end of your driveway, Jog back to the house...

5. Fit in some strength training... vary that from day to day too. Work on upper body one day, lower body the next. You DO NOT need a gym to do this... Look up exercises on You Tube to get ideas.

6. If it hurts, you may not be doing it correctly.... avoid injury....

7. Drink water, water water water water water water... can curb sugar cravings...

Get rid of the DEW... I love it too, but get rid of IT... NO DIET POP EITHER



YOU can do this. You need to do this. Put yourself and your HEALTH first. Small changes can make a MAJOR difference. Don't let a set back STOP YOU. You will overeat, have a binge, you are NOT a failure... Pick yourself up again and MOVE your booty to a better YOU!!!

[SeptemberGirl]

Karen, you've gotten lots of great advice on here already. My suggestion is to take it all and process it. Write down what you hear and read and what you think. Just as you write down what you eat, write down what you think. And, find a support group. Be it a WW meeting or a thread on here, find a place where you can give and receive support consistently. That makes it a lot easier. Feel free to join us on the In Search of My Body thread. I'll post a link.

And good luck!

http://www.disboards.com/showthread.php?p=34958888&posted=1#post34958888

[LuvBaloo]

:thumbsup2 sounds like grocery shopping was a successful and you're starting to feel more positive. Keep up the good work!:goodvibes

[chloelovesdisney]

I don't know you but I'm proud of you. :goodvibes I think soda was made by the devil, lol. It's so bad for us and so hard to give up. You're doing great! A solid plan is important for success, keep with it. :cheer2:

[seashell724]

:grouphug:
You have gotten great, great advice.

I know that feeling when your pants are too tight and all you want is that elastic waste band. It will feel amazing when you fit in your pants!

I agree with so much of what everyone has said. However, maybe if you start off slow it would be easier. I would suggest first to overcome the Mountain Dew addiction! It has so much sugar in it. I bet that if you try a week without MD you will already see pounds coming off. Once you see the pounds coming off you can try a second week. Then, add in some excersize. I find that when I make one step the rest follow.

(If you are actually REALLY addicted to MD try to have 1/4 glass MD and the 3/4 water. That would help a lot!)

Also, here is something I have learnt this year: Just because you make one bad decision eating/exerc. wise...TOMORROW IS ANOTHER DAY! Everyone messes up! EVen when you said you were 180 and now have gained weight-TOMORROW IS ANOTHER DAY! You can still start fresh! It is so frustrating sometimes when you are trying to lose and then you gain but I keep reminding myself to keep on going and it will all make a difference in the end.

I love chips. Yum, yum. Some may say to give a cheat day or cut them out completly. NO WAY BABY! What I do is buy smaller bags and if I am craving them I will eat a bag or 1/2 a bag. They normally don't taste as good as I expected.

I find with fast food that after you have been eating healthy, your body does NOT agree w/ fast food so much. I don't mind the taste of some of it but my stomach hurts SOOOOO bad if I haven't had it in a long time.

Good luck and remember to do small steps/small goals first. :thumbsup2:hug:

PS: I wanted to add that you should find a workout you like. For a few years I was ALLLL about walking and pilates. This year I enjoy some of Jillian Michaels workouts,Biggest loser, ballet workouts. However, I also want to try Zumba, spin class. There are countless options! I have done ballet workout, hula workout etc. Maybe go on amazon and read some reviews to see what piques your interest! Maybe you'd like to get out and workout...badminton, tennis etc. I hope you find something you like!

[CruiseBoundnKY]

I don't know you but I'm proud of you. :goodvibes I think soda was made by the devil, lol. It's so bad for us and so hard to give up. You're doing great! A solid plan is important for success, keep with it. :cheer2:

Thank you so much! I am trying really hard to eliminate the Dew without feeling like I'm having it taken away. If that makes sense. I know that if I tell myself I can't have it at all that I will have a 20 oz in my hand before the day is over. I still have not restocked any at the house and have only had a couple of sips here and there and when I do I keep thinking to myself, "Mr. Dew you will not overtake me" and then I put it down quickly. :lmao:

Have a great day everyone!!!

[LuvBaloo]

I am so impressed with you!
I think its time I committ to reducing my coke zero habit. I knows its not good for me and so its time to cut it back.

I love your comment: "Mr. Dew you will not overtake me" :thumbsup2

[chloelovesdisney]

Thank you so much! I am trying really hard to eliminate the Dew without feeling like I'm having it taken away. If that makes sense. I know that if I tell myself I can't have it at all that I will have a 20 oz in my hand before the day is over. I still have not restocked any at the house and have only had a couple of sips here and there and when I do I keep thinking to myself, "Mr. Dew you will not overtake me" and then I put it down quickly. :lmao:

Have a great day everyone!!!

I'm sure you will be successful in overcoming Mr. Dew, lol. Keep up the good work.

If I have one small soda a week, I'm fine. I don't feel like I'm completely deprived and miserable, and I'm fine all of the other days when I drink water with fresh squeezed lemon all day long.

[CruiseBoundnKY]

I can't believe that I am typing this, but two days ago my barn caught fire. We lost 23 show goats, the barn is a complete loss and countless other items in that fire. With that said, in the last 36 plus hours I have found amazing friends with endless support. :sad1:

We have had such an outpour of support from our closest friends and family, to people that merely drive past and have seen us working with our goats, to people that have called/e-mailed that we don't even know. What seemed like a total loss, now is starting to have a new outlook and hope.

I have two kids ages 7 and 11, who lost their show animals for the upcoming year. The very first pet goat we purchased, Pongo. My 11 yo dd can name off every single one of them lost and tell you everything about them.

First, I thank God that none of us were hurt.

Second, I thank God that it wasn't our home.

and my new one for today...

Third, I thank God for my friends. :grouphug:

Local 4H groups are stepping up to help my kids get back some of what they lost. It is amazing.

We started yesterday thinking we were going to have to go buy feed, hay, buckets and items just to make it through the day; however, I only went two places yesterday to work and DQ to pickup food for everyone and we had more than enough brought to us to survive for awhile.:hug:

Anyway, I wanted to post and let you guys know that I am still here. My eating yesterday consisted of a hash brown for breakfast, a chicken leg on the run mid-day and nibbles on a dinner a neighbor brought over. Oh and a brownie my mom brought me that I ate standing outside watching the demo crew. :sad2::sad2::sad2:

I will post more when I get time and I will come back to this, but right now I need to focus on healing and moving on.

Hugs, Karen

ps if you are interested my dh interviewed with Lexington KY channel 18 and my db said it is on the internet somewhere.

[paintnolish]

Oh my gosh!:hug:I just don't know what to say. Hang in there.

[farmergirl]

Oh my goodness. Sorry to hear your going through rough times please hang in there.

[TxRabbit]

I'm so sorry for your loss!! What a blessing to have so many step up and make themselves known to you to be a source of help in your troubles.

[FireDancer]

Wow, that is terrible. As bad as it was I'm glad no one in the family was hurt. I'm also glad you have people to step up and help you out.

Don't let this sabotage you. You seem to be doing so well on your new lifestyle I would hate this to be a trigger for you. I know it seems hard and it is easy to revert to old habits when something like this happens but remember there are some things you just can't control (the fire) but there are things you are in full control of (your reaction to it).

Keep us filled in, we're all pulling for you.

[LuvBaloo]

:grouphug: what a difficult thing for you and your family!

That's great that you have gotten so much support!

[NeverlandClub23]

Checking in to see how you're doing :hug:Hope you're doing ok and still able to focus on your goal :yay:.

[Tiger Lily 03]

Karen, hugs to you and family during this time. Hugs to your friends too for being there to help you through. Hugs to the strangers that are also supporting you through your difficult time.

I'm glad you are trying to remain focused on getting yourself on track even during a major difficult time as this. Take it one thing at a time, breathe and try to make positive steps.

[lmhall2000]

Karen!!! MEGA:grouphug:'s!!!!!!

So wonderful to hear you community pulling around you...this too shall pass but it won't be comfortable walking through it!! My greatest fear is our barn burning down...I keep my horses out 24/7 but you know if a fire starts they'd probably run right into it!! :grouphug: Praying for you!!

You may not be ready to hear what I'm about to say (focusing on ourselves when stress is all around is TOUGH to do!) but just wanted to say YOU HAVE A TWIN!!! ME!!!! Well, okay I'm 4 inches taller than you, but could have written the same book.

spent 10 years between 130-150...then kids came (3 in 4 years!) My youngest is now 10 and can't use baby fat as excuse anymore! :) I got up to 235 8 years ago, lost down to 174 3 years ago, and guess what, I tipped the scales at 265 this past November!!! Sure I have excuses, ruined back from 5 car pile up I was in during college, juggling many plates running a farm, homeschooling, leading scouting troops, junior speech group, had 2 house payments for 31 months..it just piled on as they say...

But December 26th I had HAD ENOUGH!!! (uh, for the 15th time) but this time something stuck....I just said this is the year that I will get it ALL off no matter how long it takes, I will walk 4 miles EVERYDAY until I get into the 150's...well, I was overzealous, but I have managed to walk EVERYDAY except one (the day our house closed) 5 days a week I walk 4 miles and 2 days I walk 2 miles...so I am working out everyday...I had an addiction to Diet Dr. Pepper, I've not had one in 3 days and that is HUGE! So CONGRATS on not buying a pack of Mountain Dews. One tip that might help on that end is go ahead and buy a 12 pack of Mountain Dews..but commit to yourself that it's the LAST 12 pack you'll EVER BUY!!! Then think twice about when you really need that can....you may find that last can lasts 12 months! :)

Sure I screw up on meals, I've had combo meals in the past 4 weeks (probably 4 of them, but typically honestly it would have been more like 12 normally...always on the go)...but I give myself the mental attitude that I try to allow myself 1-2 days off diet..(my diet is just no sugar anything, veggies/fruits, salads, eggs, bacon, no white bread anything and eat almonds/whole wheat crackers/berries as my in between meal snacks) so if we have pizza out one night, I don't eat 4 slices, I'll stick to two and drink water with it but I don't kick myself for having it.

We can do this!!! Try your best to add in a few veggies each week that you normally don't....I make a mixed salad of spinach/leafy lettuces/carrots/purple onions/olives/raisins and sunflower seeds, I eat this salad at least 6x a week for meals...it really is filling! I am also just starting out trying "Juice Plus" it's a concentrated pill that has 17 fruits and veggies dehydrated, it's designed for people who can't fit in those veggies but you get the nutritive value...if you commit to working out 30 minutes 5 days a week they will enroll you in a fitness program and at the end of 90 days on the juice plus they will give you free product, it runs about $40 a month...that's less than I pay for our family multivitamin, most I know who have tried it says their energy level rocketed..I'll try anything and be honest whether it works or not, but for you who doesn't like veggies/fruits, this might help your body be healthier and you might crave less of the junk we all love!!

It's hard for me to check in often here, but if you ever need a boost, pm me and we can commiserate...but just start by getting a daily exercise in that you can keep up...you can do it!! Do it for your kids if it's hard to do something for yourself!

I plan on being 150 by December that's 115 pounds off in 12 months!! But it's the LAST TIME I'll have to do it!! :)

You just hold tight to that CAN DO attitude and when you feel low, come here!!

Tara