what would u do???

[buzz for boys]

About 3 months ago I fell out with a fellow mom at the school cutting a long story short I helped her loads when she needed someone and considered us to be best friends but when I needed a shoulder she ran a mile in the opposite direction and then started a facebook barrage of abuse.
This has got worse and worse on the school playground with people making alliances to each of us to the point of stupidity. But because of all of this im dreading taking my kids back to school tomorrow and id love to say that I thought it had all died down with the xmas break but ive had several texts today that suggest otherwise.
My m8 suggested today that to save the stress that brings me everyday I should move the kids to a different school :confused3 Would you do this if you were me ??
The boys are settled and happy and we finally have all cams needs sorted out and the school are fab with him but then on the other hand im not sure how much longer I can take this petty behaviour for.
Advice welcomed
Louise x

[Muscateer]

I feel for you and you are going through enough without all this stupid playground behaviour from a supposedly adult and makes it worse when she was supposed to be your friend.

Would be a bit drastic changing the kids schools, that is a major upheaval for them. Starting new schools can be very stressful and since Cam is happy at his school, would be a shame to upset the cart.

Anyway I don't have any set advice but hope you can get something sorted out soon.:hug:

[silver apple]

Firsty, I'm sorry that you are being faced with with this horrible bullying behaviour:grouphug:

I don't think that you should move schools as the children are settled, though I can see why you would want to. I think you need to treat her like the bully she is and ignore her and don't get drawn into any discussions about it with the other mums about it as this will give your ex-friend the satisfaction of seeing this and your upset continue.

Is there anyway that your dh can do the school run occaisionally? if not i would probably drop-off and pick-up as late as I could to avoid waiting around in the palyground.

Hopefully things will settle soon x

[natalielongstaff]

there is no way i would change my kids school because of the playground mafia !!

just ignore them.

[buzz for boys]

Playground mafia :lmao::lmao: Love it !!!

Ive not retailted once trust me in my head I have a milion times and Ive not discussed the fall out with any of the idiots that come to talk to me as quite honestly its none of their buisness but still this wont go away.
Im tempted to try and make the peace with my 'friend' just so all this goes away but I'm not 100% sure I can be that fake and im still very hurt by all this - if you treat friends like this what the hell do you do to someone who has really upset you???
The school say I should phone the police for the cyber bullying but that seems like ive dropped to their level!!
Im such an idiot as part of me actually misses my friend terribly - not sure how I can say that after 3 months of hell :confused:
I know what you are all saying about not moving the boys but will this ever die down if i dont ???
is it time to play nasty like them to put all this to bed??

[joolz1910]

I would definitely not move the boys to a different school. I think some women feed off this sort of drama and seek to perpetuate it by stirring the pot. Why do all these other mums keep texting you? What good does that do? I wouldn't reply to these texts. Make an excuse that you are getting a new phone / your phone is broken / you have no credit.

I think it might also be time to clear the air with your ex-friend. She must have been a good friend once or you wouldn't miss her so much now. I know what she has done, and maybe that means that you can't go back to the way you were, but you might be able to put a stop to this animosity. What have you got to lose?:confused3

[scottish mum]

I wouldn't change the boys school, if they are happy leave them there. As for your "friend" try your hardest to ignore and try not to let her see you getting upset by it all. If she thinks its not hurting you chances are it may all stop. Try and keep your head held high when at school and then come home and get upset or coem on here as we are all here for you :grouphug:

[darthtatty]

Im sorry to hear of the trouble youre having. :hug:
life at my sons school is no fun and i hate going there everyday.
its mainly to do with the school and not with parents, though i have had some run ins with a few parents.
i would never take my son out of a school where he is happy due to one person. what if you moved all your children and non of them were happy or you had similar problems?
I would never stoop to her level or try to fake peace.
have you blocked her via Facebook? you can block people so they never see you on there, even if you have mutual friends.
youve done the right thing by not talking about the situation to others at the school who try to talk to you-theyre probably only going to report back to her.
i would tell the people that text you about her that youre not interested. youve have far more important things to think of.... Disney ;)
you really should report the cyberbullying to the police-they take it seriously these days. it is not dropping to her level :goodvibes

are there any other parents that youre close friends with? always look happy and like youre having a laugh. dont let the bully win!!

we're all here for you when you need to moan.
good luck.xxx
:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

[Joanne UK]

I would grimace and ask your former friend if she would like to go for coffee one morning and hopefully smooth things over and clear the air.

I know it would be hard to be nice to her but maybe you could just fake it enough to take the animosity away but obviously things would never get back to how they were before. I had a bad experience with another mum when my eldest was at pre-school and I actually felt physically sick walking her in knowing that I was going to see this other woman, I do know how you're feeling but def wouldn't uproot your boys. Front it out and it will die down eventually.

[PoppyAnna]

:hug: It's awful living with things like this going on, as if you haven't already got enough on your plate. Try your best to ignore them, it tends to be a bully's worst nightmare.

there is no way i would change my kids school because of the playground mafia !!

just ignore them.

We have a playground mafia too, I don't know what it is that brings this behaviour out in (mainly) women.
Moving schools seems very drastic action to take if your children are settled and happy there, just keep thinking of them:)

[Pegasus928]

If someone treat me the way you have been treated by this person then I am sorry but they would always be a 'former friend' as I wouldn't be able to ever trust them again.

It must be so hard seeing her everyday during the school run but try to ignore her and don't let her win by getting you down. You have shown constantly what a truely strong person you are so remove her as a friend on FB, get yourself a new sim card for your mobile and move on without her. Stay strong Louise :hug:

Mrs Pegasus

[buzz for boys]

I am blocked from seeing her facebook page but for some reason because she has blocked me I cant block her ??? when i put her name in she doesnt appear on a list as im blocked on her page iykwim so I cant stop her accessing my page and being able to send messages and i refuse to close my account down because of her.

Today as feared noone had forgotten and everyone was out in a renewed force - apparently she feels like she is living the role of single white female and im trying to steal her idientity and use her story for sympathy ?? errr hello firstly shes 3 stone heavier than me, god wasnt exactl kind in the looks dept and she lost her son so i think im quite happy being me thanks !!!!
The new piece of nastiness has been started because Cam didnt have his operation as planned so therefore im a lier and never was a operation!! oh ok maybe just you dont have any clue whats happening anymore *** I choose not to tell you you stupid cows !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! argggggggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Im so upset by this and cant believe the difference that just one day having to face this abuse has caused again.
The school said they wont let us leave because of this and consider whats best for the boys but I feel like im pushed over the dge by all this and surely thats not whats best for the kids either??? Just wish I knew how to make it stop !!
Oh and ive never replied to texts or messages from anyone at the school throughout this whole saga as i believe the second i do its going to escalate - not sure how much further it can go though :confused3

[joolz1910]

I feel so sorry for you. :hug: It sounds awful. If you don't respond to texts or indulge in any tit-for-tat, then you are doing everything right imho. If she is being abusive on Facebook, then I would report her for cyberbullying. What a shame that women behave like this.:confused3

Could you afford to put your kids in a breakfast or after school club for a while? Is there a friend who could do the school run for you or with you, for additional support?

[mickeyforpresident]

This is just dreadful. I hope that an understanding that this type of awful parental behaviour goes on in probably every primary school in the country! Im a Headteacher of one and I often choose to go out in the playground and talk to the playground mafia to give some other parents a rest - honestly they are worse then the kids!

I think the idea of breakfast club is a good idea as is the police for teh cyber bullying. I might consider changing your moby number and reporting the abuse to facebook.

I have, on occasion, agreed to allow a parent to drop off a child 10 mins earlier to help parents stop bumping into each other - but this causes some trouble for the school as then we're seen to be taking sides!!!

I think you have to understand that its not your fault and you must try to not sink to their level!!!!

[fizz13]

I am so so sorry your life is being affected like this, I have decided recently that facebook is a source for evil a lot of the time. No good advice day to day but i wanted to say have a look at your privacy settings again, there is a way so you never appear in a search and only friends can message you/contact you, in effect you can dissapear from certain people.

big big hugs to you hun, dont let this woman have the satisfaction. If you arent in the mood to deal with them maybe take an ipod with you? works for me when I cant be bothered with the chit chat;)

let us know what happens, and all here when you need to vent:hug:

[darthtatty]

I am blocked from seeing her facebook page but for some reason because she has blocked me I cant block her ??? when i put her name in she doesnt appear on a list as im blocked on her page iykwim so I cant stop her accessing my page and being able to send messages and i refuse to close my account down because of her.

oh i know what you mean. do you know her email address? you could try to add that to the blocked section.
Im sure if you contact facebook they might be able to help.
I make sure all my settings say that only friends can view my page and pictures.:)

such a shame that there are people like that in this world, they should be ashamed. :mad:
I dont blame you for not telling them the recent updates on Cam. :hug:
can you get any others to support you for a while, take some of the pressure off.xxx :grouphug:

[thelittlemermaid83]

:hug: :hug:

I don't really know what advice to give as I haven't experienced any of this (yet) at DD's school, but please don't move your boys from school if they are happy there, she will think she has won if you do that. :hug:

[Tinks1984]

I cannot believe this is still happening Louise :sad1: How terrible that you have to feel like this when you're taking your children to school.

I cannot for the life of me wonder why this woman is thinking you're making such things up, as if you'd do that with regards to your own son. As if you want this for Cameron! :mad: Just because she's still grieving for the loss of her child, that gives her no right to continue to ridicule you like this.

Is there anyone who could maybe go into the school with you and vouch for these things happening and maybe then the school could have a word with certain people? With regards to the Facebook problem, if you have her name or e-mail address, then I'd contact them directly and ask could this person be blocked from seeing any part of my page.

It's a terrible thing you're having to go through and this is just something which is not needed. You all have enough stress and upset within your own lives, never mind others chipping their unwanted and disrespectful opinions.

Many, many hugs for you guys :hug: :hug:

[buzz for boys]

right ive been in contact with facebook and they said they would block my account from here - ive also deleted all mutual 'friends' from my page so noone can feed her info anymore.I now have more of you guys on my friends list than people ive met :) My sil looked her facebook page up and im disgusted to see that her niece(fellow mom at the school) who is a nurse who has cared for Cam is also part of this witch hunt :confused3 this now means ive got to get the hospital involved and request zero info to her too - cant believe that a nurse can be part of this ????

Im totally amazed how someone who i gave my heart and soul too can turn so quickly - pretty poor judge of character me obviously !!

As for the school they have seen the fb comments so i dont need anyone to back me up and Im confident that as she works in the school they will act on this but just not sure how!!

Thanks guys for listening x x x

[joolz1910]

I'm pretty certain that a nurse should never discuss a patient as it breaches every code of conduct imaginable.:mad: Definitely report her.

Does the ex-friend work at the school? If so, the school should act as she represents the school and should be acting professionally.

What were the fb comments? I thought she was basically accusing you of over-reacting to Cam's condition? This in itself is very hurtful and spiteful, but did she add to this? I am wondering whether fb would limit her account if her comments were deemed to be bullying?

[buzz for boys]

her facebook comments say that she feels like im trying to become her!!
I am using her story to make up lies about my own and that basically there is nothing wrong with Cam at the moment - backed up by the fact that he hasnt had his op - there are then several comments from fellow 'friends' saying that maybe i make it up for attention !! One has even put maybe he has never had cancer??? Im appaled to see that the nurse has posted if he needed this op they would have done it by now!!!

I now am thinking omg does that mean that everyone doubts that my little is a brave boy who deserves recognition???
Should I post pics to prove that he is ill???

Part of me wants to walk through the gate tomorrow morning and shout at the top of my lungs - He was ill you idiots they were testing him for leukemia that bad enough for ya ???
but then part of me thinks they prob wouldnt believe me anyway.

I use to think that peoples sympathy was the worst thing in the world but now i know its not its people questioning wether you are worthy of their sympathy thats the worst thing in the world :sad1:

[joolz1910]

her facebook comments say that she feels like im trying to become her!!
I am using her story to make up lies about my own and that basically there is nothing wrong with Cam at the moment - backed up by the fact that he hasnt had his op - there are then several comments from fellow 'friends' saying that maybe i make it up for attention !! One has even put maybe he has never had cancer??? Im appaled to see that the nurse has posted if he needed this op they would have done it by now!!!

I now am thinking omg does that mean that everyone doubts that my little is a brave boy who deserves recognition???
Should I post pics to prove that he is ill???

Part of me wants to walk through the gate tomorrow morning and shout at the top of my lungs - He was ill you idiots they were testing him for leukemia that bad enough for ya ???
but then part of me thinks they prob wouldnt believe me anyway.

I use to think that peoples sympathy was the worst thing in the world but now i know its not its people questioning wether you are worthy of their sympathy thats the worst thing in the world :sad1:

Oh Louise, that is awful. I thought she was criticising the way you were handling the situation with Cam. I hadn't realised that she was calling you a liar. The nurse should know better - she is putting her career on the line with stupid comments like that. These other women who think you are an attention seeker should thank their lucky stars that they are not in your position, and pray that they never are.

Hold your head high sweetheart.:hug:

[howlongtillsummer?]

I would put my chin up, smile and ignore the sweet lot of them. It is not a major part of your life so you should rise above the whole thing.

[Nubbedy]

So sorry to hear this Louise, you and your family have been through enough. Please don't move the children from their school though, it's so not fair on them. And if this vile woman is employed at the school in any way, then they should be taking steps to deal with it - it's just so unprofessional. Ditto the nurse, I would definitely be in touch with the hospital regarding her behaviour.

Sometimes, however nice you are, you just have to fight fire with fire. Hope things work out for you. :grouphug:

[buzz for boys]

i was talking to my best m8 ever yesterday and she said to me you can only be hurt if you allow them to hurt you !! Together we decided the best thing to do was to just smile at everyone as i dropped the kids off!!

you know inside my stomach churning and i was shaking all over as i approached the school gates but I just kept saying to myself you dont give a s@@t !! Over and over made a consioous effort to keep my head up and then walked straight the middle of group of women and wished them all morning!!
The look on their faces was priceless - and you know for the first time in months instead of getting back to my car fighting tears I was actually fighting the urge to laugh hysterically at em !!
I feel like I have finally made a breakthrough in getting them to leave me alone!!
:banana::banana::banana:
I also know the sh@t has hit the fan at school with all memebers of staff involved as ive had a very strange message from a friend of the ringleader saying that she has not had any part in any of this and she is praying for cam - thats nice hope you dont expect me to reply !!

Thanks again for all the advice!! heres hoping i can keep it up :scared1:

[darthtatty]

woohoo well done Louise :cool1:

thats prob the best thing you could do, smile. :)
I do hope this is the start and things get better for you from now on.
I dont blame you for not replying to the message youve been sent.
hope the rest of the term goes well.xxx :hug:

[Muscateer]

Well done you for putting your nose in the air and walking straight through them. Who an earth would make up a story like yours about your own child?They can't be right in the head for suggesting such a thing. You really don't need people like that as friends.

Makes me so glad that I worked when my daughter was at school and never had to stand at the school gates.

Keep up the don't give a dam attitude.:thumbsup2

[thelittlemermaid83]

You go girl!!! :hug: :hug:

[Nubbedy]

Well done you, you have probably really confused them now!!!

[Jets fan]

Way to go Louise, maybe now these stupid women will stop acting like sheep - blindly following a very sad lady, who badly needs help herself!!

Take care
Tina

[mumloveseeyore]

spoke to dh who is a nurse , he is appalled at the behaviour of her niece, she could very easily be struck off for breaching confidentiality!. i certainly think that the hospital should make some sort of reprimand at the very least. Still thinking good thoughts for cam. love GILL

[joolz1910]

Glad you feel better. :goodvibesThey must have had a warning if they are already distancing themselves from the ringleader. Report that nurse!

[wils]

Just catching up - what a ridiculous situation and I'm so sorry you have to deal with these pathetic people as well as everything else :confused3

A big Whoooo HOOOOOOO for what you did today - good for you.


Love to you and Cam x

[Tinks1984]

Louise, I'm very proud of what you managed to do today :thumbsup2 Must have been awful, but it'll probably be the best thing you've done in ages. I'm so pleased that for once, when you returned to your car, you actually felt happier than normal, good for you hun :hug:

[Pinky166]

Well done Louise. You go girl!!! :woohoo:

Keep your chin up & do the same thing tomorrow. :thumbsup2

[scottish mum]

Well done Louise, i bet that shocked them and now they are all going to be worried if they think the school are dealing with it.
Good luck for tomorrow and keep smiling, i'm sure it really annoys them :laughing::laughing:

[Lisash]

:grouphug: How mean and spiteful! I'm a great believer in karma. People like them always get their come-uppance. It might take a while but they will. Keep your chin up and grin like an idiot whenever you see them they'll be petrified of what you are up to :grouphug:

[Mrs Doubtfire]

How awful for you to have to face this every day - I hope that you get this sorted soon :grouphug:

[kieras nana]

i am sat here & can't believe,what i have read!
i cannot comprehend,grown women,behaving in such a way.they are mothers for goodness sake,how can they not have compassion,for what you,cam & your family,are going through!
i really can't imagine,putting a friend,or even someone i knew,through something so,nasty & vindictive.what are they thinking!
please stay strong louise & even if,some of the mothers,see the error of their ways,after being spoken to,just be polite,but keep your distance,they do not deserve your friendship.you are better than that!
keep your head high tomorrow louise,as they should be hanging theirs in shame,
:hug:tracy

[les2425]

sometime when people do these things its just like being at school again.
sound like her children are the grown up and they should send the mother to school.

But most of all she the type of person who will cause her self trouble just give her more rope and she hang her self out to dry.

[wideeyes]

:hug::hug: I am shocked at how you are being treated, good on you today:thumbsup2 keep it up. you realise who your true friends are when you need them unfortantly this "friend" didn't see that.

[buzz for boys]

i am sat here & can't believe,what i have read!
i cannot comprehend,grown women,behaving in such a way.they are mothers for goodness sake,how can they not have compassion,for what you,cam & your family,are going through!
i really can't imagine,putting a friend,or even someone i knew,through something so,nasty & vindictive.what are they thinking!

:hug:tracy

For anyone to understand why she has such power over me in terms of why people blindly followed her is actually the most hurtful part of all this for me - She was stranger to me up until her little boy was diagnosised with a rare type of cancer and she phoned me through a mutual friend and asked for my help !! Her best friends at the time had done the typical run in the opposite drection response and I went to see her at the hospital and tried to be there for her. I went every single day to her visit her and her son even when he was on the exact same ward and room as my Cam I still decided not to turn my back and im not ashamed to admit I went to hell and back reliving our own nightmare to help her. Sadly her little man didnt make it and ill never forget having to go and say goodbye before they turned the machines off :sad1:

I defended her and sheltered her from the playground gossips the whole time she was going through hell.
So you see everyone on that playground knows this and so therefore for us to fall out was a massive thing - obviously when she was asked why we had fell out she couldnt say because she hadnt got the bottle to stand by me so instead she has said that im lying and blowing everything up to gain sympathy :mad: The latest part of im copying her story is because before they knew what was wrong with her son they wrongly said it was likely to be leukemia - so now she has wind that I said cam was been tested im therefore copying her story and wanting to be her and all the sheep are the playground are following her line of thought because most dont have a brain cell !
Honestly i dont blame the other moms with their dull little lives this is brightening their day - I blame her entirelly and grief does no longer excuse this as its just vindictive and calculated and ill stand corrected but im sure acts of grief are spontaneous and unplanned ????

[Queenie]

Just wanted to say how sorry I am for you to be going through all this crap. My mind boggles at how unbelievably petty people can be and still call themselves adults, I know small children with far higher standards of decency. I'm sure the DISsers will always be there for you.

[fizz13]

Just came to check in and see how today went and i think how you handled it was fantastic hun, well done, that must have been so scary. and even better you walked away with a smile for the day, big hugs, you have earnt them:hug:
I really hope this is the start of the turning point for this whole sorry mess, and you're right, grief does not excuse this behaviour, no way! x

[scojos]

If she is employed by the school, i would call you local LEA, it is at worst gross proffessional misconduct, divulgance of personal info, at best unproffessional...
if you have showed texts etc to the school/head, what support have they offered you? have you tried any support network channels, social services, outreach teams etc? when josh had his diagnosis, i felt unable to cope (im not saying your unable to cope) and they sent me a "helper" for a few days, it was a massive help:)
i thnk whatyou are failing to see is that you are being bullied. bullys "divide and conquer" she is doing this for power, and the other moms are being daft enough to let her. i agree with mrs pegasus, could you really ever forgive her for the extra, unneccasary pressure she is putting you trough at the mo?
phone tthe police and ask advice, you can do this anonomously, and they will tell you any inf you need (wedid this when havingprobs with a neighbour)
lastly - you do not need to justify anything to anyone. ou do nt need to prove cams illness to anyone, your behaviour to anyone, these other mothers, do you need their approval? they can only hurt you if you let them:flower3:
hope you get it sorted
tracy

[mickeyforpresident]

her facebook comments say that she feels like im trying to become her!!
I am using her story to make up lies about my own and that basically there is nothing wrong with Cam at the moment - backed up by the fact that he hasnt had his op - there are then several comments from fellow 'friends' saying that maybe i make it up for attention !! One has even put maybe he has never had cancer??? Im appaled to see that the nurse has posted if he needed this op they would have done it by now!!!



I'm sorry buzz for boys, but I don't know you from Adam (or Eve!!) so forgive me for interfering but i've been following this thread with interest, but this part of your posting (for the first time since joining the DIS) made me so cross. Both of these women are completely out of order - BIG STYLE. OK - the member of staff at the school. I'm a headteacher, and if I saw the FB posting that you describe would lead me to disciplinary action and probably dismissal - HOW DARE A MEMBER OF STAFF BULLY A PARENT!! No way, not acceptable in any way (I hadn't realised that she was a member of teh school's staff when I last posted!) In my LEA, FB disciplinary actions against school staff is one of the biggest problems for HR. I'm assuming you've kept the Headteacher informed about your Son, so they will know what is going on and should be extremely cross about what their member of staff is posting!! Even after typing this im still cross and as I said I have no idea of who you are, but I'm so sorry!!!!

As for teh nurse, if she has posted anything at all about your son - anything at all, PLEASE take this further. She too has broken her professional responsibilities and needs to be repremanded for her actions.

Right - i'll try and but out now! (You obvioulsy have a lot of great friends on the DIS!!)

MfP

[Pegasus928]

I know I have mentioned them before but I would contact Parent Partnership and see what advice they could offer.

We have had cause to speak to them just yesterday after problems that DS has had - also regarding FB and bullying at school. I won't go into details but PP has given us good advice about what we should do, and what to do if that fails.

I really do hope that you decide to take this further and that all of these women are made to feel very sorry for what they are putting you through.

Kenny

[Ware Bears]

Just catching up and I am absolutely appalled by what I've just read.

:hug: :hug: :hug: to you Louise, you so don't need friends like these.

[buzz for boys]

I'm a headteacher, and if I saw the FB posting that you describe would lead me to disciplinary action and probably dismissal - HOW DARE A MEMBER OF STAFF BULLY A PARENT!! No way, not acceptable in any way (I hadn't realised that she was a member of teh school's staff when I last posted!) In my LEA, FB disciplinary actions against school staff is one of the biggest problems for HR. I'm assuming you've kept the Headteacher informed about your Son, so they will know what is going on and should be extremely cross about what their member of staff is posting!! ,

Firstly Thank you !! The headteacher at the school has said that he has to tread carefully as she is a grieving mother ??? But from your post you are saying that he should be dealing with this!! He does know all about Cameron and has spoken tot he hospital himself when Cam was being tested for leukemia as the hospital phoned the school to inform them of what was going on as I got too upset to be able to do it!! I believe he has spoken to all the women involved as facebook comments have been deleted -but thanks for the advice of where I stand in terms of taking further if i have too !

As for teh nurse, if she has posted anything at all about your son - anything at all, PLEASE take this further. She too has broken her professional responsibilities and needs to be repremanded for her actions.
I dont really want to get people to lose their jobs because of me -it all seems really petty and im not sure I want to be the one that puts a mother of 3 out of a job!! I will however refuse to have her care for Cam anymore and if this means i need to report her to acheive this then at that point I will

Right - i'll try and but out now! (You obvioulsy have a lot of great friends on the DIS!!)
Yes I do - my dis friends are the best!!
MfP

Again thank you x

[pigspacey]

I really understand what your saying about the nurse and not wanting to put her out of a job but it's totally wrong for her to have said anything about you or your little one.
I'm a staff nurse and have to work to a very strick code of conduct set down by the Nursing and Midwifery council. This is just a tiny bit of the code (its very very long!)

The people in your care must be able to trust you with their health and wellbeing.

To justify that trust, you must

make the care of people your first concern, treating them as individuals and respecting their dignity
work with others to protect and promote the health and wellbeing of those in your care, their families and carers, and the wider community
provide a high standard of practice and care at all times
be open and honest, act with integrity and uphold the reputation of your profession
You must respect people's right to confidentiality

Can you honestly say this Nurse has followed this code?
I'm sorry to poke my nose in but you seem to take so many knocks and you keep on getting up and fighting back.
You and your family deserve better care then that
Rant over!

[DisneyJo]

I'm so so sorry that you're having to deal with this woman, I really have no advice and see you've been given some great info but wanted to send you a hug :hug:

[wideeyes]

I can understand you not wanting to take it any futher with the nurse however I think you well within your rights.

She doesn't seem to have any compassion, much believe in ethics of her job and should not be in a role of trust and responsiblity.

If you do report her tt wouldn't be because of you she loses her job it would because of her actions.

[buzz for boys]

Thanks guys.
I do understand what you are all saying and my best friend said to me tonight m8 they are grown women making their own decisions and they will lose jobs because of the decisions they made!!
I do know that is true but lets say I do make an official complaint and they both lose their jobs ,
The school loses a member of staff and I know my ex friend will lose her house and the 3 kids who lost their brother will then have lost their house too - I cant do that to them !!

The nurse - I have no real connections to her other tahn she is another mom on the playground but she too has 2 small kids that will lose out big time!!
But bigger than that - we have to go to this hospital regulaurly and she works as part of quite a small team that look after Cam - if i get her teh sack will I really get the care for cam he deserves or will we be treated like lepers for making the complaint !!
So as well as protecting the kids in all this there is also a bit of protecting us !!We dont have the luxury of going to a different hospital we have to go thereor London and who loses the most if we have to go to London instead of 20 mins down road????

I appreciate everyones advice and maybe through my emotional state at the moment I am wrong but I really just want this to end and if people lose jobs it never really will will it ??

[silver apple]

Ultimately you need to be comfortable with any action you take, but I can only reiterate that you are dealing with adults who lost their right to your respect and consideration when they started this nonsense.

I can't comment on what action a school might take regarding a member of staff, however I am a nursing sister and I can reassure you that the the nurse would not lose her job, but she would quite rightly be disciplined. Her colleagues would most likely be disgusted at her unprofesionalism and lack of discretion. Don't worry that you would face a backlash, they will absolutely support you and your family.

[froggy5657]

I wouldn't take the boys out of school. As a student changing schools is not something I ever want to do. As for the FB issues, I would either delete her as a friend or else delete the account and make a new one friending only those who are true friends. I am truly sorry that you have to deal with this. It definitely stinks :( Sending MAJOR pixie dust your way

[Jets fan]

Really hope the fact that this thread has gone quiet means that the school have stamped out this disgusting behaviour by parents now, Louise.

Tina

[buzz for boys]

I wish Tina!! School have discplined all their staff but im afraid that has just upped that anti!!!
a mutual friend of both of us came round on saturday fro a coffee and the subject turned and I said i wasnt prepared to discuss it and put her in that postion. what I did say was that I felt it was hurtful and unneccesary she replied that whatever I had been told had been took out of context as she is a good person :confused3 When I said it had come from our friend directly and that a close friends of hers had told me about the facebook comments the mood turned and she left. UNBELIEVABLE

Well as expected Monday morning was horrendous and they were all standing there talking amongst themselves as to who would have told me what was going on - she then comes over and tells me that she feels hurt and betrayed by my behaviour !!
I feel like im missing something here she acts like a totally deranged psycho and im the one that has made her feel hurt and betrayed ??? maybe staying quite and not punching her in the face has hurt her in some way. My dh says i need to move on and focus on anything but her and the silly cows at the school - that is so much easier to say than do but I am trying and ive still not argued back at all just stood there like an idiot taking it :headache: I do get so angry though that I start to shake all over and it takes me ages to calm down enough to be able to drive away.

[buzz for boys]

OMG just found out that she has been awarded our local paper hero in the community award !! Am I seriously missing something here I seriously am angry now what a joke !!

[Dimplenose]

Keep up the good work of ingnoring her stupid antics, she can obviously dupe a lot of people but one day she'll slip up and people will see her for what she really is.

[Jets fan]

Oh Louise, I really though that these people had shut up and left you alone. So sorry to hear it's still going on.

Big hugs
Tina

[ukstitch]

OMG just found out that she has been awarded our local paper heo in the community award !! Am I seriously missing something here I seriously am angry now what a joke !!

:hug: :hug: :hug:

I've known at least a couple of people over the past few years who everybody believes to be a perfect angel, yet I can clearly see their not and am left wondering how on earth everybody else can be so blind...

Just ignore it and carry on - hopefully they'll get bored sooner or later and move on :thumbsup2

[KatieG73]

I don't post a lot but had to respond to this - Buzz I've just been reading your post about your little boy and the latest worry around his health and I cannot believe that you are being put though this added stress by someone you supported when they needed it most.

I am so angry for you and cannot imagine how much it hurts - I only hope by now that all is resolved on that front and you are not having to deal with it in addition to everything else.

The fact that this former friend is grieving is not an adequate excuse for what she is putting you through and the playground mafia have no excuse at all!!

I have to say that after reading your posts that I think you are an incredible mum and an inspiration - my thoughts are will you and your family.

Katie

[buzz for boys]

Thank you Katie,

I wish it had all died down im beginning to think it never will!! Im increasingly surprised by the amount of so called friends that I find out have stabbed me in the back. One friend text me and said she didnt agree with anything she was doing and she would never be part of it only for me to find out that by 9am the following morning she was repeating our whole conversation on facebook!!
I have let these peolp cry on my shoulder and ive that many knives sticking out of my back now im surprised im still alive :lmao:
We were both part of a cancer support group but suddenly she attends every meeting so I cant go - yeah the same woman who told me theres worse things than cancer goes religiously to a cancer support group :confused3 and then writes on her fb page that she has had the best time ever !!

I am just trying to not let it get to me and just carry on as normal but its hard as ive never felt to lonely in my whole life and just dont know who to trust anymore.

[KatieG73]

Am so sorry to hear that you are still having to deal with this - I really just can't understand people.

It takes a tremendous amount of strength to ignore this type of thing and if anyone can get through this I'm sure it's you. ( was bullied at work a couple of years ago and was so hurt by the people I thought of as friends siding with the bully - I later understood that they felt if they spoke up to support me they might end up being bullied too but it hurt a lot and I felt very alone....)

In my experience people who behave like this are very unhappy with their own lives -the fact that despite all the worries you have over your son's health you have a loving, happy family must really rile them - I know it's hard but try not to let them get to you...

Just wanted to send you some :hug::hug:

Katie

[Chilly]

I am so sorry to hear this is still going on sending you and Cam a big :hug:

I feel sorry for the other Children, having Mum's that are such idiots must be hard for them.

Just remember Louise you can hold your head up high, you were there for her in her hour of need, she is the one who in time to come will feel very guilty indeed for what she has done.


Who an earth would make up a story like yours about your own child?


Sadly a woman has just gone to jail for doing just that and worse.