Daughters who have lost their Mother

[Shelly F - Ohio]

I thought I would start a thread for Daugthers who have lost their Mom's. Some place to share, reflect and get support from those of us who have lost our Mom's.

I lost my Mom in 1993 and she was my best friend. I miss her dearly especially here at Christmas which was her favorite holiday.

I miss some of the dishes she made like homemade red velvet cake, pumpkin cookies.

I wish my hubby could have met her.

[Pkaroch]

Count me in...a sad group to be a part of! I lost my mom in July 2007. This is the first year Dad and I have remotely gotten into 'The Christmas Spirit.' In 2007 we ran away to Las Vegas for Christmas and didn't put one stitch of decoration up.

It's difficult to see all the commercials with happy families, and when we decorate, see her stocking and our last Disney ornament with our names on from her last trip with us. I miss her all the time, but the holiday season is harder than the rest of the year.

:grouphug:to everyone who has lost their mom, no matter how old you are, it's such a hard thing to go through!

[luvmarypoppins]

I miss my mom too. I really didnt even have time to grieve as I had to take in my 90 year old grandma who lived with her and I was recovering from surgery which I had complications from and almost died from like a week before that.

Now I have been fighting cancer all this year. I really wish my mom was around to encourage me and give me a hug etc. Her best friend lives in the next state. I call her aunt and she talks to me on the phone alot, I love her like a mom, but I miss my real mom.

[PrincessSuzanne]

I am so glad this got started, I hope we can keep it going.

I lost my mom Aug 26, 2008, very suddenly. We had been talking about our upcoming Disney trip that weekend and she collapsed, I buried her the day we were supposed to leave for Disney.

We weren't always quite as close, because of my grandmother. My parents divorced when I was just a year old and my father wasn't a part of my life (his choice). My mom and I lived in our house until my grandfather died when I was 5, then we moved in with my grandmother, who did most of my raising since mom had to work. My grandmother was diagnosed with Alzheimers in 2000 and died in 2001, so mom and I grew closer.

Mom was there for me through every rotten work day, all the infertility treatments, and the decision to remain childless. She was just always there for me literally everyday. I was ther for her through the 7 year fight with her sister and brother over my grandmothers estate and I bought my grandparents house and we moved in with her and DH, then my teenaged cousin. I worked nights, so we spent all morning together and she picked me up most evenings because of DH's job schedule.

I don't know any other mothers and daughter who are closer. Everywhere we went everybody knew us and it was difficult going out for awhile, because everyone was so used to seeing us together.

Disney was our favorite place, especially at Christmas, because they could accommodate her needs. It was difficult that first trip after her death and our Christmas 2008 trip was a blur, but I have such great memories.

Well, I have gone on too much, but it helps to have someone who understands.

Suzanne

[alamode]

My twin girls (and son) lost their Mom just over three years ago, when they were only 3. Unfortunately, since she was diagnosed with stage 4 melanoma a week before they were born, they only remember Mommy "being sick".

When we went to WDW last May it was very bittersweet, as my wife was the huge Disney fan, and I knew she would have wanted to be there with us. There were a few tears from me (hidden from the kids) when we entered the Magic Kingdom at rope drop.

While at Pixie Hollow, Tinkerbell asked where Mommy was. After the girls replied that Mommy was in heaven, Tink replied "Well you just give some huge hugs to me, and I'll fly up to Heaven to give them to Mommy."

While watching Wishes that night, the kids saw Tinkerbell scaling down from the castle and screamed "Look, Tinkerbell's coming down from Heaven, Mommy got our hugs!!" At the end of Wishes, the kids saw 3 huge heart shaped fireworks and they said in unison "Thanks Mommy, we love you too."

[Shelly F - Ohio]

OMG where is my box of kleenex. That was such a touching story Alamode.
I lost my Mom to lung cancer which spread to her brain. She under went an experimental treatment at the Cleveland Clinic which did shrink her brain tumor. She had 1/2 a lung removed. In the end the cancer had spread to bones. She was a good little fighter.
The day of her funeral we had a blizzard! We no sooner left the graveyard and the declared the city in a state of emergency and closed all the roads. We had a lot of out of town guest stranded. I had a friend with a 4X4 SUV who transport people to the hotel. What an ordeal.

What is the best memory or tradition you have about Christmas time spent with your Mom?
One a few occasions my two sisters and their families would spend the night Christmas Eve and then we would wake up and open presents. There would be 16 people under one roof. Not to mention the huge pile of presents under the tree.

[Elfstar]

My mom died suddenly of a heart attack November 2, 1990. She was the family "Christmas Elf", getting everybody organized, decorations up, etc. It just wasn't the same after that.

My fondest (and funniest) memory was Mom always letting in the dog Christmas morning for a treat and to open his present (a toy) and hearing her fuss when the first thing the dog did was chase the cat up the Christmas tree. After the first two years, she had Dad fasten the tree to the wall with wires so the pets couldn't tip it over.:rotfl::rotfl:

[mana]

My twin girls (and son) lost their Mom just over three years ago, when they were only 3. Unfortunately, since she was diagnosed with stage 4 melanoma a week before they were born, they only remember Mommy "being sick".

When we went to WDW last May it was very bittersweet, as my wife was the huge Disney fan, and I knew she would have wanted to be there with us. There were a few tears from me (hidden from the kids) when we entered the Magic Kingdom at rope drop.

While at Pixie Hollow, Tinkerbell asked where Mommy was. After the girls replied that Mommy was in heaven, Tink replied "Well you just give some huge hugs to me, and I'll fly up to Heaven to give them to Mommy."

While watching Wishes that night, the kids saw Tinkerbell scaling down from the castle and screamed "Look, Tinkerbell's coming down from Heaven, Mommy got our hugs!!" At the end of Wishes, the kids saw 3 huge heart shaped fireworks and they said in unison "Thanks Mommy, we love you too."

that was wonderfully heartfelt and beautiful story. thank you for sharing it. I didn't lose my mom, but my dad, and I can truly almost imagine the excitement and joy your kids must have felt.

ps. you sound like an awesome father!:thumbsup2

[WDWLVR]

I lost my Mom back in 1997 to lung cancer and miss her very much especially at the holidays like this.

We were supposed to go to Disney together in May of '97. In April she was on a trip with her seniors group (though she was a very young senior of 67) and came home with a nasty cough that wouldn't go away. She was diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer. Needless to say that trip got cancelled. We were going to be staying at the Poly and since that was her favorite resort we bought her a brick that year. It is on the path from the resort to the luau. So a part of her memory will always be at the Poly.

Thankfully we had six months together where we could share things. One of the things she requested was to be buried in the dress she wore to my wedding some 7 years before. Turned out to be very profound as we waked her on our wedding anniversary. She and my husband were very close and I'm blessed that she got to know him so well.

We still visit her brick at the Poly and I still talk to her every day. I know she is looking after us.

[Marina Del Rey]

Over a year ago, I lost my mother in her old age. She left shortly after a set of strokes while suffering from dementia. I felt like I never really had her. Our relationship was strained at best through the duration of my life.

Last month, I lost my mother-in-law to cervical cancer. The lady was one of my dearest friends. She was a combination of the mother and big sister I never had. The matriarch of her family, she is SO MISSED. She left us far too soon!

[DVC Kathy]

I lost my mother on April 16, 2001. She had COPD and between that and issues with some of my brothers, she just wore out. I miss her every day. She and I were the only girls in the family, so we stuck together against my father and three brothers.

My favorite Christmas memory comes back to me every time I hear Feliz Navidad. Mom and I are in the car, driving back from the Plymouth Meeting Mall after a massive Christmas shopping attack, singing along with the radio at the top of our lungs. She was Santa, and I was her elf.

Nothing can top watching the Osborne lights dance to Feliz Navidad for putting me in the spirit of the season.

Kathy

[Magix]

My twin girls (and son) lost their Mom just over three years ago, when they were only 3. Unfortunately, since she was diagnosed with stage 4 melanoma a week before they were born, they only remember Mommy "being sick".

When we went to WDW last May it was very bittersweet, as my wife was the huge Disney fan, and I knew she would have wanted to be there with us. There were a few tears from me (hidden from the kids) when we entered the Magic Kingdom at rope drop.

While at Pixie Hollow, Tinkerbell asked where Mommy was. After the girls replied that Mommy was in heaven, Tink replied "Well you just give some huge hugs to me, and I'll fly up to Heaven to give them to Mommy."

While watching Wishes that night, the kids saw Tinkerbell scaling down from the castle and screamed "Look, Tinkerbell's coming down from Heaven, Mommy got our hugs!!" At the end of Wishes, the kids saw 3 huge heart shaped fireworks and they said in unison "Thanks Mommy, we love you too."

Oh, good heavens! I'm literally in tears.

I lost my mom to colon cancer in January 2004. To this day, I can't watch it snow on Main Street at Disneyland, because that was the last thing that mom and I went out and did together. I know I'll just break down crying if I see it now. I ended up on Main St, watching the castle lighting moment at Disneyland the other evening and I started crying.

During my second ABD trip, on a ferry boat from Capri back to Sorrento, I started to cry a bit, because I looked around at the beautiful sights around me and thought of how much mom would have loved to have gone on both the ABDs with me. She never got the chance to travel overseas and I know she would have loved to go, just us two girls.

Dad and I have not had much Christmas spirit since mom died. We don't even bother to buy a tree or decorate the house at all. It just doesn't seem worth it now. Mom was always the one who organized all of that and made it seem fun.

I don't spend too much time thinking about how much I miss her, but every now and then a thought will just hit me out of the blue and bring me to tears. No matter your age, it's just hard to lose mom.

[DIsNeYSweEtHrTs]

Hi all -

I wanted to post about my wonderful, loving, caring, and generous mom who passed away Nov. 22, 2009. I feel like I have a huge hole in my gut and like my heart has been ripped out. I have lost my best friend, and my dad has lost his soulmate (they were high school sweethearts, and taught me what "true love" really is).

She had been diagnosed with Non-Hodgkin's Lymphoma back in 2005. During chemo, she picked up several lung infections that eventually left her with 20% lung function. She seemed to do pretty well mosying around the house with her 90 foot oxygen tubing, and we thought she could continue like that for a while, and be able to watch her grandbabies grow up.

We got back from Disney on Oct. 22, 2009, from a FANTASTIC trip. Mom had said several times while we were there, that she had never felt better. A few days after we got home, we all started to feel very sick. Mom spent the next few days in bed with a fever and a cough. She was admitted to the hospital and discovered she, and probably all of us, had contracted the swine flu.

She seemed to be tolerating it, until she started to seem confused. The night she was admitted to the hospital, we found out that the carbon dioxide level in her blood was three times what it should have been. She was placed on a ventilator, and began to deteriorate. Her lungs no longer were working, and the ventilator was barely keeping her going. She couldn't keep her blood gasses where they should have been. We took her off the ventilator at 3:00 p.m. on 11/22/09. She passed 10 minutes later. She was 50 years old.

I hope someday that I can be half the mom she was. She was the perfect mom, times ten. She was there for everything. We did everything together. I can't even bring myself to get my hair done because we used to always go together. She loved her grandbabies, my DS Kaden (2.5) and my DD Allie (6 months), with all her heart. She wanted to see her granddaughter get married. She wanted to see Kaden's soccer games. She always said, I'm not ready to check out, I have too much to do! I go over it again and again wondering what we could have done differently.

I am so sorry for everyone's losses on this thread. I can definately understand how you all feel, and my thoughts and prayers are with you all. We all have our very own guardian angels now. :littleangel:

[Carol17]

My mom was diagnosed with breast cancer in April 1987, and died 3 days after my 16th birthday on January 8 1988. Seeing her quickly slipping away through that Christmas was very difficult to watch. I was very close to my mom, and have felt so alone since she has been gone. Christmas has been such a sad time for me for many,many years. It was always a reminder of watching my mom dying. It is just in the last couple of years that I have started to appreciate Christmas again. Going to Disney and seeing all the beautiful decorations, and frankly, being able to get away from home has helped me get through the season. Even after all these years, I still miss my mom and think of her every day. It is such a huge loss and has changed me and my life in so many ways.

It's kind of nice to be able to write this here, because after 23 years, I feel like I'm not allowed to be sad anymore.

[kathyseb]

I lost my dad 3-4-79 and my mom 11-12-07. She passed away on my older sister's birthday.

The only thing that keeps me going is that I now know my parents are together again.

To think back and now realize that my mom was on her own for 28 years is amazing to me. They deserve to be together.

I miss them both so much I can not begin to express it in words.

Thanks for starting this thread.

:grouphug: to everyone.

[Rustysmom]

My mom died 3/26/08. She was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer only 2 months before, but she was having back pain and constipation since the fall of 07, only we didn't know it was something that serious.

I miss her so much every single day. My mom's cat Penny passed away right before Thanksgiving this year, which makes it even more sad. I can't even go into my mom's house anymore without thinking of the 2 of them and crying. I can't wait to finally get it back on the market and hopefull sell it next year.

Christmas was very sad without her this year, as we always went to her house to spend Christmas day, and we don't have much other family left at all. My FIL also died last year. I wish we had the money to go to Disney for Christmas, but I just lost my P/T job so all money has to go for bills right now. I'd really like to go for Christmas in 2010, and I'm going to save up as much as I can to make that happen.

[kathleena]

alamode - OMG I'm in tears at work reading this. Tinker Bell would probably love to hear how that story ended if you had a moment to send a note to disney with the date, they could get it to her.


I lost my Mom to brain cancer just a few minutes after midnight on Jan 1st, 1998. We had her funeral on what would have been her 70th birthday, Jan 4th.

She had been diagnosed in Sept with the tumor, before that she was in perfect health. Looking back, we can see the signs of what it was doing to her brain, although everything was very subtle.

She was the type of person who everyone liked. She was just a nice, sweet, kind, gentle, humorous person. She struggled with her self-worth for her entire life, but her last 20 years brought changes as she became involved in Community Theatre and took to the stage. She really loved it and audiences loved her. Over 500 people attended her funeral. She had been in the church choir for over 40 years and we had them sing, inviting back members who had moved away, or left the choir.

My Mom and I always believed in spiritual connections. There are many instances of psychic occurances with her and me while she was living. Also with her and others in our family. But it has been since she is gone that I feel it the strongest. When she is near spiritually, there are signs she sends to me. She is only around when there is something happening that I don't know about and need to know about - always involving someones health. There has been the final illness and death of her close friend, of my father's two brothers, his cousin, my husband's mother's brain tumor. And as if I needed further proof, while in an auditorium of 1900 other people, John Edward found me and the sign came through him. There's no way he could know. It almost brought me to my knees.

I miss her so much - I want to know little things like how did she dip the needhams without losing them in the chocolate sauce - or the big things - like telling me more about what her life was like as a child.

We go through so much our whole lives with education - but nothing teaches us how to lose a parent and how to live the rest of our lives missing them.

[rlduvall]

I lost my mother, who was my bestfriend, to lung cancer on December 6, 2007 at the young age of 65. Three days later, our City was hit with an ice storm that had never been experienced before - totally debilitating and shutting everything down. We couldn't even bury her for another week which greatly contributed to my anxiety and mourning.

While I "keep moving forward" and am thankful for my DH and DS, I will never have the same joy as I experienced before. The world is truly a little dimmer to me. :sad1:

And one bad byproduct of intentionally waiting until you are older to have a child [I was 35] was that my mother only got to see him to age 8 and he no longer gets to experience her unyielding adoration and love. :angel:

[moepanz]

I lost my mom this past Thanksgiving day. She was diagnosed with small cell lung cancer in March. This Christmas was almost unbearable. My mom was scheduled to leave for Disney the Monday after she was diagnosed but cancelled to start her treatments. She finished her chemo and radiation treatments in Sept. We all went to Disney on Sept 17. She was a trooper. We sat down for dinner on Saturday Sept.19 for dinner at the Cape May Cafe and without warning she did not know who we were and where she was. We called an ambulance she was taken to Dr. Phillips hosp and she had 3 seizures. It turned out the cancer had spread to the brain quicker and more than they had thought. She was in 3 different hospitals in Fla ( all more amazing than the next) for a month until we flew her home on an air ambulance. My brother and I were taking turns flying back and forth to Fla. (we are from NY) The time we had with her in Disney was amazing. We had dinner in the castle the first night and we made it to the Halloween party the second. I am grateful my children will have those memories of her. She passed away after midnight on Thanksgiving. It has been rough and I feel so sorry for my dad. I miss her more and more each day. I could not believe when I saw this thread. Thanks for letting me share. I will keep you all in my thoughts.

[ACDSNY]

Reading through these posts was like seeing pieces of me written by so many others as we all try to deal with our feelings of loss and of loosing our mother and best friend. :sad1:

My mother was only 59 when she passed in July 1998 to colon cancer. She was the eldest of 8 sibblings, so we always had a large extended family that was very close knit. Now that she's gone we hardly ever get together like we use to which is something else I've missed. She always made the holidays special and like others have said they are now very difficult to get through, the magic is no longer there. I still miss her each and every day.

[kimis]

I lost my mom/best friend a little over three years ago and it is still painful. She was diagnosed with small cell lung cancer so we only had her for two and a half months after the diagnoses. We would talk on the phone about 2-4 times a day. She was a great mom/grandma/greatgrandma and best friend anyone could ask for! I miss her more than others know. I am glad she is in Heaven and in no more pain. I know I will see her again someday but for right now somedays are better than others.

[KristiMc]

I lost my mom on June 9, 2009. It has been hard. Not a day goes by that I do not think of her. Her birthday would have been this past Tuesday so we had the holidays and then birthday back to back.

[Shelly F - Ohio]

Oh my..:hug: to you.
Hang in there. The first year without her will be the toughest but when you feel sad look back on the good times you had. And know that she is with you everyday.

I lost my mom this past Thanksgiving day. She was diagnosed with small cell lung cancer in March. This Christmas was almost unbearable. My mom was scheduled to leave for Disney the Monday after she was diagnosed but cancelled to start her treatments. She finished her chemo and radiation treatments in Sept. We all went to Disney on Sept 17. She was a trooper. We sat down for dinner on Saturday Sept.19 for dinner at the Cape May Cafe and without warning she did not know who we were and where she was. We called an ambulance she was taken to Dr. Phillips hosp and she had 3 seizures. It turned out the cancer had spread to the brain quicker and more than they had thought. She was in 3 different hospitals in Fla ( all more amazing than the next) for a month until we flew her home on an air ambulance. My brother and I were taking turns flying back and forth to Fla. (we are from NY) The time we had with her in Disney was amazing. We had dinner in the castle the first night and we made it to the Halloween party the second. I am grateful my children will have those memories of her. She passed away after midnight on Thanksgiving. It has been rough and I feel so sorry for my dad. I miss her more and more each day. I could not believe when I saw this thread. Thanks for letting me share. I will keep you all in my thoughts.

[Shelly F - Ohio]

The first round of holidays without a loved one can be very tough and you made it though it :hug: Even though she was not here physically she was here and always will be. She is watching over you.

I lost my mom on June 9, 2009. It has been hard. Not a day goes by that I do not think of her. Her birthday would have been this past Tuesday so we had the holidays and then birthday back to back.

[Microcell]

My mom was diagnosed with breast cancer in April 1987, and died 3 days after my 16th birthday on January 8 1988. Seeing her quickly slipping away through that Christmas was very difficult to watch. I was very close to my mom, and have felt so alone since she has been gone. Christmas has been such a sad time for me for many,many years. It was always a reminder of watching my mom dying. It is just in the last couple of years that I have started to appreciate Christmas again. Going to Disney and seeing all the beautiful decorations, and frankly, being able to get away from home has helped me get through the season. Even after all these years, I still miss my mom and think of her every day. It is such a huge loss and has changed me and my life in so many ways.

It's kind of nice to be able to write this here, because after 23 years, I feel like I'm not allowed to be sad anymore.

I know just about exactly how you feel..

I lost my mom Dec 16, 1988, two days after my 16th birthday very suddenly of a heart attack. I am going on 23 years of not liking my birthday or Christmas. Glad you can get away and I bet that would help me too, but my DH works retail so we are stuck at home or being with his family on Christmas. I feel sad every year during that time especially so you are not alone!

[shelbys mommy]

I lost my dad to suicide Sept. 2, 2000. I lost my best friend, my entire world when my mom died on May 10, 2005. She had Leukemia. I was not pregnant for my daughter at the time, but I told her that I knew why she was leaving me & that she was going take care of Shelby for me til it was Shelby's time to be with us. She smiled & nodded yes. I told her to tell Shelby that I love her & that I will see her soon. My mom smiled again. She took my hand, looked at me & went to Heaven not long after. It was the most beautiful moments in my life & I cherish it always. Fast forward 2 1/2 years & I'm pregnant. 4 days after what would have been my mom's 48th birthday & the day after my 28th birthday, we found out that the baby was a girl. My mom sent me my Shelby! My mom's name was Lisa with the middle name Ann. My princess' name is Shelby Lisa-Ann. I cry all the time. I miss her so much. I have 2 boys & my mom wanted me to have a girl I think more than I did. One of Shelby's nicknames is my angel.

[JandJ]

Big hugs to all :hug:

I lost my mom unexpectedly in June 2005, just 4 months before my wedding. She was only 65. We were so close it was ridiculous! There were so many times that we didn't even have to speak - we just knew what the other one was thinking. We had so many inside jokes that I'm sure we drove other people crazy with our giggle fits and silly faces. I miss that connection with her so much.

The last thing mom and I did together was buy my wedding gown. The gown came in (over a month early), on the day my mom passed away. I went for the fitting the next day with 2 friends and just cried and cried. Thank God for my now-husband or I would never have made it through that first year.

Mom and I went shopping together and out to lunch all the time. Even when I lived at home in my 20's we spoke on the phone a few times a day and had dinner together, with my father, every night. I moved to Orlando in 2004 and mom and I were on the phone at least 4 times a day, every day, and saw each other at least one weekend a month. A week after she passed I was in Target, looking at a skirt, and thought "will this look o.k. on me?" and instinctively dialed mom. She was my clothes critic my entire life! Of course it went right to VM. I lost it. Right there in Target. I called then-DF and he talked me through it. It was horrible. I've had a lot of times like that in the last 4 years, but it does get a little easier with time. Mom was Christmas! That first Christmas without her, DH took me away to Savannah. We stayed in a little B&B and I got through that holiday. I would not have made it through if I'd been with my daddy and siblings.

I volunteer at Hospice and attended a class for adult daughters who have lost a parent (I've lost both) and our counselor said it best - You never get over it, but it becomes a part of you, and you learn to live with it.

[Twende]

I am so sorry for all your losses. This entire thread needs a tissue warning. You are all witting such very touching things about your mothers!:goodvibes

I have lost my mother too but not in the same way as all of you. My mother was the most incredible being who was so giving and hard working. She was a fantastic parent and grandmother, and just plain one of my favorite people!

She left me slowly, bit by bit, piece by piece until all that I loved and cherished was gone. She has Alzheimer's. It is an unforgiving disease.

I miss my mom. I do not know the difficult preschooler who now has possession of her body and mind. :sad1:

[ACDSNY]

I am so sorry for all your losses. This entire thread needs a tissue warning. You are all witting such very touching things about your mothers!:goodvibes

I have lost my mother too but not in the same way as all of you. My mother was the most incredible being who was so giving and hard working. She was a fantastic parent and grandmother, and just plain one of my favorite people!

She left me slowly, bit by bit, piece by piece until all that I loved and cherished was gone. She has Alzheimer's. It is an unforgiving disease.

I miss my mom. I do not know the difficult preschooler who now has possession of her body and mind. :sad1:

I'm so sorry to hear you're going through this. I lost my grandmother to Alzheimer's so I understand what you mean about it being a slow drawn out process until the person that's is left is no longer the person you knew.:hug:

I also agree this thread needs a tissue warning.

[JandJ]

Twende - I am so sorry for what you are going through. It must be like losing the person twice - once while their body is still here and then when they leave this Earth. :hug:

[circhead]

I'm so sorry for everyone's loss. I lost my mom Nov. 12, 1984 she was buried 3 days later on my 26th birthday. I still miss her.

She was the warmest, most caring person I have ever known. 10 years before she died, my brother was murdered and buried on Halloween. (I don't really look forward to any of the big holidays even to this day. I go into a funk that starts in October and I never seem to shake until after Christmas every year.) I turned 16 2 weeks after we buried my brother, and when I got up that morning my mom had a huge bouquet of flowers and a special charm my grandmother had left her to give me on my 16th birthday. I looked at her and said "Are you kidding, how did you ever remember all of this?" She looked at me with tears in her eyes and said, " Michael, I can't do anything for anymore he's in God's hands. But you, Your're still here and what kind of mother would I be if I let your 16th birthday go without a word or a gesture?".


God, I still miss her and I'm so sorry everytime I look at my 3 kids (now mostly grown) and know that my mom never saw any of them and what is missing from their lives not being able to have had her as part of it.

[shoes99]

Wow, so glad I came across this post today. I lost my Mom in 2001 due to complications due to early onset alzheimers. Tomorrow January 23rd is her birthday. She was sick for 13 years and in a nursing home for her last 4 years. I miss her terribly. She got sick at age 66 and died at age 79.
One of my best trips with her was our last trip to WDW together... The illness was so new to us that I almost lost her near Universal when she walked out of our 1st floor Holiday Inn room, but my memories of that trip will last forever.
Hugs to everyone .....
Michele

[Shelly F - Ohio]

At this very minute I want to be with my mom. I would give anything to be dead right now. God life is so hard. I have not been happy in a very long time. I would love to not wake up in the morning.

[kimis]

At this very minute I want to be with my mom. I would give anything to be dead right now. God life is so hard. I have not been happy in a very long time. I would love to not wake up in the morning.

Shelly HANG IN THERE!!!!! Life can be very hard sometimes but it gets better. Is there someone---a couseler, pastor, friend--- you can talk too! Others need you to wake up in the morning! If your mom passed recently than call hospice they have couseling. Just talk to someone. I know when I feel alone (mom passed three years ago and dad passed three weeks ago) i reach out to God. You aren't alone!

[Shelly F - Ohio]

My mom passed in 1993. I am suppose to start a new job in the morning and now i think its not the job for me. For the past 3 years I have worked part time and enjoyed it. Now this job is full time and I am not ready to make that switch. I had been working at a job where we had flex time so I did not have to worry about traveling in the bad weather and getting to work on time. Now I will. Although I will on be working 10 miles from home verses my old job that was 30 miles from home.
I am really headed in the direction of not going in the morning.

Life is just so hard. I had dealing with all this change. I would really rather not deal with it or life anymore.

[moepanz]

Oh my..:hug: to you.
Hang in there. The first year without her will be the toughest but when you feel sad look back on the good times you had. And know that she is with you everyday.

Shelly F. Above is what you said to me about my post. I know it is tough and I have been having a rough couple of days as well but, I know and I feel it will get better. I have had a lot of things to keep me occupied since my mothers death. Not all good. I just have to keep going and so do you. I know my mom, and I am sure your mom too would not want you to feel the way you feel tonight. It is hard. Some days better than others but there are some good days and I hope tomorrow is a good one for you. Please keep in touch!

[circhead]

My mom passed in 1993. I am suppose to start a new job in the morning and now i think its not the job for me. For the past 3 years I have worked part time and enjoyed it. Now this job is full time and I am not ready to make that switch. I had been working at a job where we had flex time so I did not have to worry about traveling in the bad weather and getting to work on time. Now I will. Although I will on be working 10 miles from home verses my old job that was 30 miles from home.
I am really headed in the direction of not going in the morning.

Life is just so hard. I had dealing with all this change. I would really rather not deal with it or life anymore.

Shelly there is a time in life that I also have felt this way. My younger years were horrible. My dad was an abusive alcoholic, My earliest memory of him is being thrown through a window at the age of 4. I had a brother murdered when he was only 18, I hesitate to say this because it's sooooo personal and not something I really want to share on this wide open forum but here goes - I am a rape survivor, I nursed my mother through her last illness (pancreatic cancer) and can still cry over some of the things that happpened during it. I remember bathing her and her saying she was the mom and the one suypposed to be taking care of me - I told her it was just my turn. I went to counseling and learned to let go of all the anger and pain. I truly believe that God doesn't send us more than we can handle but there have been times I've yelled at Him and reminded Him I'm not as strong as He thinks I am.

Please realize that you will get through whatever troubles you are having and life really is worth enjoying!:hug: I met my husband of 28 years after the drama of my childhood and he truly is a gift from God to me.

[PrincessSuzanne]

At this very minute I want to be with my mom. I would give anything to be dead right now. God life is so hard. I have not been happy in a very long time. I would love to not wake up in the morning.

Shelly HANG IN THERE!!!!! Life can be very hard sometimes but it gets better. Is there someone---a couseler, pastor, friend--- you can talk too! Others need you to wake up in the morning! If your mom passed recently than call hospice they have couseling. Just talk to someone. I know when I feel alone (mom passed three years ago and dad passed three weeks ago) i reach out to God. You aren't alone!

Shelley, all I can offer right now is this :hug:. I am thinking about you right now and hope you decided to go into your new job, they can be very scary, but exciting. I had to change from nights to days last summer and move to a different location with new people and that was very hard for me, I don't do well around new people and an very shy, but it all worked out very well and I am very happy with my job now.

I know I will have some of the same feelings you have now, later this week, Feb 11 is my mom's birthday, the second one since I lost her and it will again be very difficult. Now, I don't wish I was with her, that would hurt so many of the people that love me and need me here, but I sure wish I could give her a hug, My supervisor's birthday is the same day, so I will just bake a cake for her and hope it helps me through.

Suzanne

[Shelly F - Ohio]

OMG its like working for Hitler... No breaks, on my feet all day, don't get caught sitting or you will get reported, no drinks allow accept during lunch in the lunch room. It is just horrible.

Hubby said to not go back. Since my old job had cut my hours to 1-2 days a week because they had nothing for me to do is the reason why I wanted to leave. So it was no big lose for me. Hubby said to go and volunteer which is what I had said back in Nov when the cutting of hours occured.

I really truely think I was having preminitions about this place and that is why I was having a hard time going to it in the first place

[PrincessSuzanne]

OMG its like working for Hitler... No breaks, on my feet all day, don't get caught sitting or you will get reported, no drinks allow accept during lunch in the lunch room. It is just horrible.

Hubby said to not go back. Since my old job had cut my hours to 1-2 days a week because they had nothing for me to do is the reason why I wanted to leave. So it was no big lose for me. Hubby said to go and volunteer which is what I had said back in Nov when the cutting of hours occured.

I really truely think I was having preminitions about this place and that is why I was having a hard time going to it in the first place


That is just unreal, I worked in a doctors office like that one time and it was horrible and I am a larger girl and standing just about killed my feet, I stil suffer today because of it, I was glad when they let me go, but that was back in 1997 if I remember correctly. Employers need to realize they can't treat people like that, I guess they figure there are desperate people they can replace you easily. I wouldn't go back if I didn't HAVE to.

I am glad to "hear" that you sound better today.

Suzanne

[Shelly F - Ohio]

Glad someone else out there has experience the same thing Suzanne.

So what kind of cake will you be baking for your supervisor Suzanne?

I'm going to the hospital on Friday to do some volunteer work. That should help my spirits.

[jennz]

:grouphug: to everyone...losing my mom was like having a piece of me ripped out. She died from ovarian cancer April 29, 2009. She taught me so much. I really miss her, and I'm sad that my daughter, who is 11, will not have her in her life. I live in Indiana and my parents are in Orlando. We were lucky, my mom was diagnosed as having 2 weeks to live so we had precious days with her. She was coherent and talking up until she got her morphine. It was SO HARD to go back down to stay with my dad, just being in "her" house. She worked at WDW, and so did I for a while...I haven't been able to want to go back. Sorry, just really bad day. My dr. put me on lexapro which really helped me - I think I need to refill it. Seriously.

[circhead]

Shelley,

Glad to hear your spirits seem to be lifting.

Your hubby sounds like a great guy for telling you to not go back. He put you first.

Enjoy your time volunteering at the hospital! :thumbsup2

[Shelly F - Ohio]

Jennz :hug: why are you having a bad day today? Is it because of all this nasty snow we are getting and how glummy it is outside?
Just thing Spring is around the corner.

:grouphug: to everyone...losing my mom was like having a piece of me ripped out. She died from ovarian cancer April 29, 2009. She taught me so much. I really miss her, and I'm sad that my daughter, who is 11, will not have her in her life. I live in Indiana and my parents are in Orlando. We were lucky, my mom was diagnosed as having 2 weeks to live so we had precious days with her. She was coherent and talking up until she got her morphine. It was SO HARD to go back down to stay with my dad, just being in "her" house. She worked at WDW, and so did I for a while...I haven't been able to want to go back. Sorry, just really bad day. My dr. put me on lexapro which really helped me - I think I need to refill it. Seriously.

[jennz]

Jennz :hug: why are you having a bad day today? Is it because of all this nasty snow we are getting and how glummy it is outside?
Just thing Spring is around the corner.

:hug: Thanks for the laugh! It is definitely glummy outside isn't it?! No it's not the snow, I really think it's because I still need my lexapro! The past 3 days have been bad, and I've been of it a few weeks b/c it's so darn expensive! I did fill it and pick it up this afternoon. It's SO HARD losing my mom, so much changes...you know, your mom is your harshest critic but also your biggest cheerleader - who's known you better or longer? It was a year ago I started going back and forth between Indy and Orlando, my mom had a knee replacement surgery and my dad was diagnosed with stomach cancer - he is fine now but actually had surgery today to have a stint put in - I guess it's timing, remembering...I don't know, rambling on and on.

Did you quit your job??

[Amy&Dan]

I just found this thread and it makes me so sad to see so many of us dealing with the loss our mothers.:grouphug: Yet also comforting to see I am not alone (I only have one friend in real life who has lost a mom).

I lost my mom in January of 2008, as hard as I thought it would be, its been so much harder. She and I had a very close bond dating back to when I was seven and my dad died.

The first year was for sure the hardest thing I have dealt with to date. But even as time has passed, its amazing at how raw it can still feel. Its funny, she was very close to her mom and I remember when my grandmother died thinking that someday that would be me, missing and grieving for my mom. Now that day is here and nothing can really prepare you for it.

[Shelly F - Ohio]

Glad to hear you got your meds refilled. Do you have the option to mail order your meds? This can save you some money..

Yes Mom's can be an enemy by being very critical but more so they are our rock. Mom's guide us, mentor us, and know how to make it all better. So it makes it hard to deal with a lot of lifes issues when Mom is gone.

Long story short I quit my job that I had been at for nearly 2 years to take a job that was closer to home. I was commuting 60 miles rt and wanted something closer to home. My hours were cut to 2 days a week and sometimes there was not work for me so they would send me home at 11 a.m.

I found a clerical job at a health care facility but after day one I know this was not a job I would work at for very long. I am not use to standing all day-have had knee issues and 2 surgeries - so standing all day is not possible. You know from taking Lexapro that it makes you very thirsty and I drive a lot of water through out the day. And they had a rule no drinks at your desk. Plus there are no breaks other than lunch! So without further a do I quit. I did not want to have to list a short term job on any future applications so I felt it was best to quit. This way I would be free to job search and interview.

Now I am dealing with being unemployed and being sad because I don't feel that I worthy person. I just don't want to deal with this and would rather be dead. I really thought the night before last I would not wake up in the morning. I really want to end it all. Life is so cruel.

:hug: Thanks for the laugh! It is definitely glummy outside isn't it?! No it's not the snow, I really think it's because I still need my lexapro! The past 3 days have been bad, and I've been of it a few weeks b/c it's so darn expensive! I did fill it and pick it up this afternoon. It's SO HARD losing my mom, so much changes...you know, your mom is your harshest critic but also your biggest cheerleader - who's known you better or longer? It was a year ago I started going back and forth between Indy and Orlando, my mom had a knee replacement surgery and my dad was diagnosed with stomach cancer - he is fine now but actually had surgery today to have a stint put in - I guess it's timing, remembering...I don't know, rambling on and on.

Did you quit your job??

[Shelly F - Ohio]

Amy - I don't think that we could have ever been prepared to deal with losing a Mom. Mom's are our rock. She always had an answer for our issues, she knew just what to do. I think everyday what would my mom be like today. I certainly would not feel this bad.

I just found this thread and it makes me so sad to see so many of us dealing with the loss our mothers.:grouphug: Yet also comforting to see I am not alone (I only have one friend in real life who has lost a mom).

I lost my mom in January of 2008, as hard as I thought it would be, its been so much harder. She and I had a very close bond dating back to when I was seven and my dad died.

The first year was for sure the hardest thing I have dealt with to date. But even as time has passed, its amazing at how raw it can still feel. Its funny, she was very close to her mom and I remember when my grandmother died thinking that someday that would be me, missing and grieving for my mom. Now that day is here and nothing can really prepare you for it.

[jennz]

Glad to hear you got your meds refilled. Do you have the option to mail order your meds? This can save you some money..

Yes Mom's can be an enemy by being very critical but more so they are our rock. Mom's guide us, mentor us, and know how to make it all better. So it makes it hard to deal with a lot of lifes issues when Mom is gone.

Long story short I quit my job that I had been at for nearly 2 years to take a job that was closer to home. I was commuting 60 miles rt and wanted something closer to home. My hours were cut to 2 days a week and sometimes there was not work for me so they would send me home at 11 a.m.

I found a clerical job at a health care facility but after day one I know this was not a job I would work at for very long. I am not use to standing all day-have had knee issues and 2 surgeries - so standing all day is not possible. You know from taking Lexapro that it makes you very thirsty and I drive a lot of water through out the day. And they had a rule no drinks at your desk. Plus there are no breaks other than lunch! So without further a do I quit. I did not want to have to list a short term job on any future applications so I felt it was best to quit. This way I would be free to job search and interview.

Now I am dealing with being unemployed and being sad because I don't feel that I worthy person. I just don't want to deal with this and would rather be dead. I really thought the night before last I would not wake up in the morning. I really want to end it all. Life is so cruel.

Oh Shelly :hug: It makes me sad to hear that you are so sad. Does your husband help? Is there someone you have been talking to? After my mom passed away I was a hermit for a few months, it was very hard and still is. Honestly I'm not sure if I wouldn't still be in bed every day if I didn't have my 11 year old dd that I HAVE to get going for. It was probably 6 months until I went out with a friend again, and I didn't want to do that either, I made myself. Manged to get myself kicked out of my bunco group by not going! :rotfl:

I did NOT know that about lexapro and have been so thirsty today!!!!! Wow, thanks!! Now I know why.

[PrincessSuzanne]

Glad someone else out there has experience the same thing Suzanne.

So what kind of cake will you be baking for your supervisor Suzanne?

I'm going to the hospital on Friday to do some volunteer work. That should help my spirits.


If I can find my mom's cookbook, I am going to bake a carrot cake, with a buttermilk glaze icing, oh so yummy and better for you instead of the cream cheese icing.

Suzanne

[circhead]

Suzanne - would it be possible for me to get that icing recipie? I love carrot cake and make it all the time - but we almost never ice it anymore because it's great without it and I think that the cream cheese icing is so heavy.


I don't know if your recipie includes this but I put a can of crushed pineapple in the batter and it adds such a nice taste and texture to it.

Thanks. :flower3:

[PrincessSuzanne]

Suzanne - would it be possible for me to get that icing recipie? I love carrot cake and make it all the time - but we almost never ice it anymore because it's great without it and I think that the cream cheese icing is so heavy.


I don't know if your recipie includes this but I put a can of crushed pineapple in the batter and it adds such a nice taste and texture to it.

Thanks. :flower3:

As soon as I find the cookbook, I will be happy to share it. I don't think it is really a traditional carrot cake, cause it tastes different, but much better. I don't care much for pineapple, so I couldn't add that. This cake is made in either a bundt pan or loaf pans, because you have to poke holes in it, so the glaze can soak in.

I have to quickly find that cook book.

I think this is it:

Black Walnut Carrot Cake with Buttermilk Glaze

*
Preheat oven to 350 F.
Grease a 10-inch tube pan.

Mix tegether:
3 C grated carrots
4 eggs
1 1/2 C oil
2 C sugar
2 C sifted flour
1 C chopped black walnuts
1 tsp vanilla
1/4 tsp black walnut extract
1 tsp cinnamon.

Bake 90 minutes.

Remove from oven and, while cake is still hot, glaze with:

Buttermilk Glaze

Blend well:
1/2 C buttermilk
1 C sifted powdered sugar
1/2 tsp baking soda
1 Tbl white corn syrup.

Pour on top of hot cake. Let stand for 1 hour. Remove
cake from pan and serve.



Suzanne

[Shelly F - Ohio]

My hubby does help but when he is at work is when I get really really sad. The only person I have to talk to are my 3 kitties. They keep me company.

Most anti depressants can make you thirsty. Try sucking on sugar free candy to help. I find I need to use more chapstick too.

YA The Boss is sending my Hubby home early because of the weather.


Oh Shelly :hug: It makes me sad to hear that you are so sad. Does your husband help? Is there someone you have been talking to? After my mom passed away I was a hermit for a few months, it was very hard and still is. Honestly I'm not sure if I wouldn't still be in bed every day if I didn't have my 11 year old dd that I HAVE to get going for. It was probably 6 months until I went out with a friend again, and I didn't want to do that either, I made myself. Manged to get myself kicked out of my bunco group by not going! :rotfl:

I did NOT know that about lexapro and have been so thirsty today!!!!! Wow, thanks!! Now I know why.

[circhead]

As soon as I find the cookbook, I will be happy to share it. I don't think it is really a traditional carrot cake, cause it tastes different, but much better. I don't care much for pineapple, so I couldn't add that. This cake is made in either a bundt pan or loaf pans, because you have to poke holes in it, so the glaze can soak in.


Suzanne

Thank you so much for the recipie. It sounds delicious. If I can find the time I'm gonna make it this weekend. :thumbsup2

[PrincessSuzanne]

Thank you so much for the recipie. It sounds delicious. If I can find the time I'm gonna make it this weekend. :thumbsup2

You're welcome. I did find my original cookbook and this is the same recipe and I am also hoping ot make it this weekend. I tore the darn house up looking for it all weekend and found it Monday evening, it has fallen down between the cabinets and the fridge, go figure.

Suzanne

[lookingforward]

:grouphug: to you all!
I lost my beautiful, kind, loving mother on June 16, 2008 from a stroke. She was gone in a week just after I had finished chemo for breast cancer. She saw me through my treatment and was my best friend.
I miss her every day, still cry every day, and hope and pray that I will see her again when I die.
Recently Sandra Bullock made a speech at the Oscars in Helga B's memory(her mom) and I just lost it because my mom's name was Helga G. There is nothing like a mother's love, no love is stronger!
My mom was only 69 years old when she passed away. I miss her.....

[Shelly F - Ohio]

With Easter right around the corner that means Mother's day will be here before you know it.
What plans do you have to celebrate your Mom this year?
As for me I am not sure yet.

[kimis]

With Easter right around the corner that means Mother's day will be here before you know it.
What plans do you have to celebrate your Mom this year?
As for me I am not sure yet.

Mothers Day is very hard for me but most people wouldn't know it if they saw me. My bestfriend-MOM has been gone for a little over three years. I usually let balloons go for her--don't ask me why I just do. I miss her so much and others have no idea. My dad passed away two months ago today also. Can you be an orphan at 53? :) My prayers are with all of us who have lost a parent/s.

[PrincessSuzanne]

With Easter right around the corner that means Mother's day will be here before you know it.
What plans do you have to celebrate your Mom this year?
As for me I am not sure yet.

:flower3: Easter will be hard for me as well, mom and I loved Easter. Mother's Day has been really hard for me since I can't have children, but it got alot harder after I lost mom and it might be tougher this year since DH has to work that weekend, he usually keeps me in check. I don't know what I will do, it is hard to go to the cemetary and I won't go by myself.

Mothers Day is very hard for me but most people wouldn't know it if they saw me. My bestfriend-MOM has been gone for a little over three years. I usually let balloons go for her--don't ask me why I just do. I miss her so much and others have no idea. My dad passed away two months ago today also. Can you be an orphan at 53? :) My prayers are with all of us who have lost a parent/s.

I became as orphan at 35, and it wasn't because both parents are deceased, my father walked out on us when I was 9 months old. My grandparents are also gone and so is my favorite aunt. It is hard to be parentless, even if you are an adult :hug:

Suzanne

[iluveeyore]

Thank you for starting this thread. I still miss my mom, my best friend even thought it's been a while. I lost her in January, 1996 when she was only 47 years old. My third child, my only daughter was only 6 months old and never got to meet the most wonderful woman on the planet. Mom had a hysterectomy in Nov./95, got an infection and ended up on life support for six weeks over Christmas, her favourite time of year. It took many years to get through Christmas without her. Now my sister and I have our Christmases with as much energy and celebrating as Mom used to do in her honour and to show my kids how much fun and wonderful their Grandma was.
I miss her every day even though so much time has passed. I think it makes my daughter and I closer because we realize how precious our time together is - I wasn't a bad teenager, but I spent more time with my friends and boyfriend (now husband) than my mom when I lived at home, and wish now I'd given her more attention. If we only knew when we would lose a loved one, we'd make every minute count more, wouldn't we???
Hugs to all of you who have lost your Mom and hopefully we all live our lives remembering them and making them proud :hug:

[ckdsnynt]

Suzanne - would it be possible for me to get that icing recipie? I love carrot cake and make it all the time - but we almost never ice it anymore because it's great without it and I think that the cream cheese icing is so heavy.


I don't know if your recipie includes this but I put a can of crushed pineapple in the batter and it adds such a nice taste and texture to it.

Thanks. :flower3:

I would love to have the icing recipie too! I also add the pineapple to my carrot cake. That is my DH's favorite cake.


My DM passed away in January 2008 from complications of diabetes combined with the nursing home she was in not taking care of her when they found her. I go by the cemetary every day on the way to my house from work. Sometimes I would like to sell this house and move so I wouldn't have to go by there. But I know if I don't take care of her gravesite no one else will.

I don't know why I posted here. We all seem like such lost souls...

Maybe it gets easier, but not by much.

[Shelly F - Ohio]

I too don't have any kids so what we do for Mothers day is celebrate Wifes Day. I may not be a mom but I am a wife and I provide the same love and caring that a mom does. DH gets me a card and flowers and tells me how much he appreciates all that I do for him. Then we go to the cemetary to visit my mom. Same thing for Fathers day we celebrate Husband's Day.

Suzanne would there be a way you and your DH could go to the cemetry a few days before Mothers Day? Your Mom would like for you to visit and she knows how hard it is for you. So if you go before Mothers day she will understand. That way on Mothers day you won't have to go there by yourself and you will at least feel good knowing you did go a few days before hand.


:flower3: Easter will be hard for me as well, mom and I loved Easter. Mother's Day has been really hard for me since I can't have children, but it got alot harder after I lost mom and it might be tougher this year since DH has to work that weekend, he usually keeps me in check. I don't know what I will do, it is hard to go to the cemetary and I won't go by myself.




I became as orphan at 35, and it wasn't because both parents are deceased, my father walked out on us when I was 9 months old. My grandparents are also gone and so is my favorite aunt. It is hard to be parentless, even if you are an adult :hug:

Suzanne

[Shelly F - Ohio]

:hug: for you. You posted here because you share a common thing with all of us. We have all experience the same things you are. We all understand what you are feeling and going through. We are glad to have you here.:)

Yes it can be hard to drive by. I use to work about two miles from the cemetry and sometimes on my lunch hour I would drive down and eat my lunch in the car. I felt as though I was having lunch with Mom. Sometimes the work day was so hectic that it was nice to get away and go to the cemetry where it was quiet and peaceful.

I would love to have the icing recipie too! I also add the pineapple to my carrot cake. That is my DH's favorite cake.


My DM passed away in January 2008 from complications of diabetes combined with the nursing home she was in not taking care of her when they found her. I go by the cemetary every day on the way to my house from work. Sometimes I would like to sell this house and move so I wouldn't have to go by there. But I know if I don't take care of her gravesite no one else will.

I don't know why I posted here. We all seem like such lost souls...

Maybe it gets easier, but not by much.

[ktdaiwik]

I just lost my mum on the 24th March 2010.I am dreading Mothers Day...
She died 2 days after our little man turned 6.He got to spend his Birthday at the hospital with her.We arrived back in Australia from Canada not a week before she passed.People tell me how lucky I was to be with her,but don't understand how hard the last 2 days were before she passed away....
It is so hard to say I don't have a mum here and I feel so lost without her,especially now we are back in Canada and I can't just phone her...
hugs Kate

[3happydancers]

It will be just 10 months since I lost my mom. It feels like it was just yesterday. The last 8 months of her life was spent suffering. She had emergency open heart surgery (quadrupal bypass) and lost all kidney function. The last months of her life was spent hooked up to a dialysis machine which made her extremely sick and weak. On 6/13/09 she was once again rushed to the hospital only to find out that her aeorta was tearing but she was so unstable that they could not attempt to save her. My mom also suffered from diabetes.

My mom and I were very close. I could always depend on her for advice, support, and a good laugh. When my mom died so did a part of me. A big void now fills that spot. I still spend countless times just sobbing...

And this past weekend, my younger brother was found at his home not breathing. He is now on a repirator with kidney failure, stage 2 liver failure and sepsis, a blood infection as well as pheumonia. The doctors give very little hope.

Thanks for listening

[rachelanne]

I feel like i want to wrap us all in a big snuggly blanket,my mum died a few weeks ago in a car accident by a drunk driver,i never got to say goodbye and it feels like a door slammed shut in my face, i ache *** i will never see her in this life again, but you know what i think if she were here now, she would say come on ive shown u this far,we walked together this far,im still with you,but you got to do this next part with me just watching you,so come on lets give our mums something good to see, dry our tears and be proud that our mums were that special, and we were so lucky to have them,im blessed to have journeyed with this happy,friendly woman for forty years and im damn sure im not gonna meet her when i go, without a few good stories of what ive done since,so be brave girls and be your mothers daughters:grouphug:

[shellabell]

My mom died 29 years ago; she was 39 and I was 12. She had polycystic kidneys but died of a brain aneurysm. We found out afterward that 10% of people with the disease have aneurysms; she was never checked.

I had a really hard time turning 39; it was something I was dreading for such a long time. It was really sad to realize how young she really was. When I was little I thought almost 40 was pretty old;) Of course when I got there I realized how little time she actually had. I turned 42 last week and I had that moment of realizing that she never saw this age and I had a wave of sadness.

I always thought it would get easier but in a lot of ways it gets harder. Though I find some kind of strange comfort in the fact that I will never see her health or mind fail.

I do wonder what it would have been like to go through the teenage and young adult years with her in my life and in what ways my brother and I would be different.

My thoughts and prayers to all in this club.

[Pumpkingirl7]

I'm new to this thread. I lost my mother in June10, 2009 after a long illness and liver transplant. She survived the transplant and was on a path to recovery but 6 weeks later she had a heart attack. I miss her so much.

My father has mentioned he would like to start dating again. I'm not sure how to react to that. Anyone else have any thoughts? They were married for 30 years and I know it would break my mothers heart to have her replaced so quickly.

[rachelanne]

It is hard on you but must be awful lonely for your dad to.He has probably been so used to being part of a couple and just wants to fill an empty place in him,he doesnt want to replace your wonderful mum, just to find a bit of normality.I dont know about you but i keep thinking ive got my head around her going and then the smallest thing sets you right back.
He will be feeling the same, trying anything to numb how he is feeling,try and be your best self and try not to judge him to harshly, you both need each other still,so be each others friend,im sure you are a great comfort to him:grouphug:

[FeelsLikeHome]

With Mother's Day coming up, I thought I would visit this thread. Hugs to everyone who has lost their mom! :hug: My mom died a couple of years ago around Mother's Day. Some days, it feels like I'm still in denial.

After my mom passed, I felt let down by my 'real life' friends. Maybe my expectations were too high, but I expected them to be there for me afterwards. Thanks for starting this thread. It's comforting to talk to others who understand. I can't say things have gotten better over the last two years.. it's more like I've just gotten used to things being the way they are.

DH and I went to visit the cemetary once. Unexpectedly, I completely lost it and sobbed- loudly! I feel so guilty that I haven't been to visit, but I just can't face it quite yet. Walking around in denial works for now...

[kimis]

My mom passed away three and a half years ago and is buried in our home town. This is the first year I will get to visit her grave on Mothers Day and I am a little concerned about it. I miss her so much still! My dad just passed away 3 months ago too. This is a hard holiday for a lot of people so you all are in my prayers!

[Pumpkingirl7]

My mother's grave is 2 hrs away. I've only been once this year. Sometimes I wish I could visit by myself but its far out in a wooded area so I usually have my DH with me. I feel bad that I don't go often but then I realize that it isn't they way I like to remember her and she wouldn't want me to be sobbing over a piece of concrete and dirt. My 2 yr old son only went once and every time we pass a cemetary he says "bub bub" and I have to tell him that bub bub isn't there but in heaven with jesus.

[rachelanne]

Thinking of all on this board tonight,hope everyone ok and coping, dont know why we have been dealt this hand,but sending everyone a big hug and just hang on in there :grouphug:

[Teacher03]

My mom died 3 and a half years ago from pancreatic cancer. Her gravesite is only 20 minutes away, but I don't visit it often. I just don't feel like that has anything to do with my mom; it just doesn't mean anything to me. My sister feels the opposite, so everyone grieves differently. I never stop missing her and think of her everyday. But it does get easier.

[MrsHeg]

I don't think it's a coincidence that I found this thread the day before Mother's Day, I lost my Mom to breast cancer October 5th, 2001.
Not a day goes by that I don't think of her, and often find myself shedding a few tears.

Love You Mom!

[minniecarousel]

I miss my Mom so much today. Yesterday was Mother's Day and I did real well all day. I couldn't get to sleep and today it's really hit hard. She's been gone for for 40 days. She was 93 years old and had lived with DH & me for the past 9 years. She was always here. She's not here anymore and I miss her terribly.

[momofboyz]

I lost my mom on December 15, 2009, the day after DS#2's bday. She was on a list for a liver transplant, but never made it.

It has been a very rough few months, because her and I were very close. Yesterday was very hard for me. The boys and I took a pink flamingo up to her grave,(she loved flamingos).

[jennz]

I miss my Mom so much today. Yesterday was Mother's Day and I did real well all day. I couldn't get to sleep and today it's really hit hard. She's been gone for for 40 days. She was 93 years old and had lived with DH & me for the past 9 years. She was always here. She's not here anymore and I miss her terribly.

:hug:

I lost my mom on December 15, 2009, the day after DS#2's bday. She was on a list for a liver transplant, but never made it.

It has been a very rough few months, because her and I were very close. Yesterday was very hard for me. The boys and I took a pink flamingo up to her grave,(she loved flamingos).

:hug:

I'm so so sorry for you both, I wish I could give you both big hugs. It is so very very hard and hard to talk to with people who haven't suffered the loss of their mom. It's not a one-week grieving process. :sad1: It's been just over 12 months for me. It is sadly so true when they talk about the first year being hard. The year was miserable for me. If you want to chat please feel free to pm me. I'll be thinking about you both. :hug:

[KristiMc]

Missing my mom today and everyday. She has been gone 1 year today.

[JandJ]

Missing my mom today and everyday. She has been gone 1 year today.

I am so sorry :hug: I wish I could say it gets easier, but, well, while time helps it's still hard on the anniversaries.

Tomorrow my mom will be gone 5 years. Yesterday I was distracted by something at work and there was a question I had and I grabbed for my phone and started to dial mom. That happens a lot less frequently than it used to. It sounds cliche, but try to remember the happy times and celebrate your mom's life. I think that helps. On the anniversaries I do something that we used to do together. Last year I went to Atlanta Bread Co. because mom loved that place. Tomorrow, I'm going to get my hair cut. Mom and I always went together to get "pampered." It won't be an easy day, but I will get through it, and you will too. Take care of yourself.

[PrincessSuzanne]

I had one of those missing mom days yesterday. It was my second birthday since she passed away and it was very difficult. But I thought about what she always said about me being her daughter and only child and it made me happy.

Everyday I wear the Mickey watch she bought me for the last birthday we celebrated together and it makes me feel close to her.

Suzanne

[JoiseyMom]

I lost my mom 12 years ago on the 11th...it is still hard at times. My dd13 is graduating middle school on Friday and my oldest DS26 is getting married in Sept... and these are milestones that I so wish I could share with her.

[Pumpkingirl7]

anyone dealing with your father dating after mother's death???

[kimis]

anyone dealing with your father dating after mother's death???

I did. I had dad for three years after mom passed. Well i should say I had to put him in assisted living and then nursing home for his last two years. He wasn't a nice man so he had a lot of regrets the last few months of his life. He was totally oppisite of my mom. I was with him when he passed and miss him also. I will admit though I don't miss him like I do my mom. In one week she will have been gone four years and my heart still breaks. Hang in there and take it one day at a time.

[kathleena]

anyone dealing with your father dating after mother's death???

Yup dealing with dating, with her moving in with him and living with him for 11 years, with her controlling him and verbally abusing him, with her shutting my sister and I and all of his friends out because she was so jealous of him doing anything with anyone other than her friends, with him paying for her life- buying her cars etc - while she frittered her funds away on her grown grandkids - sending them money when they should be working, and now dealing with him grieving because she has had a stroke and is in a nursing home.

It's been a long and bumpy 12 years................but you know, it was always his choice and just like he stayed out of my decisions I stayed out of his and just made sure he was physically safe and not being stripped bare by her.

Cup of bitter for one please..............:laughing:

[Pumpkingirl7]

OH my! That is everything Im afraid of. Plus the feeling like she is going to take everything of my mother out of his home. That she will take him away from spending time with his grandchildren. UGH--

I'm thinking of seeing a shrink before I explode!

[PrincessSuzanne]

Well, my father was never in my life (his choice) so I didn't have to deal with that. I do sometimes have a hard time dealing with the orphaned feeling and I am 37, but mom and I were so close. I don't really have anyone to turn to to deal with it and DH doens't understand because he has 4 parents to turn to.

Suzanne

[Pumpkingirl7]

I too am dealing with that orphaned feeling as I have no grandmother, aunts, or sisters in my life.

[minniebeth]

I feel so much for everyone who has lost their moms~ no matter how old we get, we need our moms!

My mom is still living, but she is in advanced stages of Parkinson's Disease. She is in Hospice care, but I am still grieving in the process of losing her little by little. Three years ago, she went into assisted living, two years ago, nursing care. I live in Ohio, she is in NJ, so it is hard to see her. While her house was for sale, we would still go to stay there, it was still "home". Last year it was sold, and so it was so sad to have nowhere to go "home" to. We were still able to talk on the phone a bit and I could tell her I love her and hear her say it to me. Now she is in a deep sleep all the time, does not eat and cannot talk at all. It won't be much longer for her, but in the mean time, I feel like none of my friends can relate to my sense of loss. I understand that they don't really understand, so I try to be aware of that. (Their moms are much younger than mine, and still an active part of their lives.)
One of the conversations a friend had with me was about an argument she got into with her mom about who was going to host Thanksgiving dinner.
It was tears and everything from her, and I just sat there thinking how sad that she could even have this conversation with me knowing what I'm going through.

It's crazy how I feel like I'm a little girl who just wants to be held by my mom!

Thanks...

[PrincessSuzanne]

I feel so much for everyone who has lost their moms~ no matter how old we get, we need our moms!

My mom is still living, but she is in advanced stages of Parkinson's Disease. She is in Hospice care, but I am still grieving in the process of losing her little by little. Three years ago, she went into assisted living, two years ago, nursing care. I live in Ohio, she is in NJ, so it is hard to see her. While her house was for sale, we would still go to stay there, it was still "home". Last year it was sold, and so it was so sad to have nowhere to go "home" to. We were still able to talk on the phone a bit and I could tell her I love her and hear her say it to me. Now she is in a deep sleep all the time, does not eat and cannot talk at all. It won't be much longer for her, but in the mean time, I feel like none of my friends can relate to my sense of loss. I understand that they don't really understand, so I try to be aware of that. (Their moms are much younger than mine, and still an active part of their lives.)
One of the conversations a friend had with me was about an argument she got into with her mom about who was going to host Thanksgiving dinner.
It was tears and everything from her, and I just sat there thinking how sad that she could even have this conversation with me knowing what I'm going through.

It's crazy how I feel like I'm a little girl who just wants to be held by my mom!

Thanks...


:hug: to you minniebeth, I experienced something similar when my grandmother was dying from her Alzheimers, but unlike with mom, I was more happy to see her slip away, because it meant no more pain and struggling for her, because you could see the pain in her face. I mourned her for awhile, but knew she was much better off.

I still have a hard time since my mom passed so suddenly, not even allowing me time to say good bye. It is not as bad as it had been, but I am starting to tear up as I type this. There are so many times I still look for her to get up and come into the room, especially when I am home alone.

Other people just don't get it do they, unless they have been there.

It's not crazy to feel that way. When Dh has to work and I have a day off, I wish she was still here to spend the day with, because I hate being alone.

Suzanne

[kimis]

My mom passed away four years ago today and my heart feels like it was yesterday. The pain is still there and probably always will be. She was truelly my best friend and loved by so many. My dad passed away 10 months ago from a broken heart I think. Looking forward to a grand reunion someday though. :)

[minniebeth]

:hug: to you minniebeth, I experienced something similar when my grandmother was dying from her Alzheimers, but unlike with mom, I was more happy to see her slip away, because it meant no more pain and struggling for her, because you could see the pain in her face. I mourned her for awhile, but knew she was much better off.

I still have a hard time since my mom passed so suddenly, not even allowing me time to say good bye. It is not as bad as it had been, but I am starting to tear up as I type this. There are so many times I still look for her to get up and come into the room, especially when I am home alone.

Other people just don't get it do they, unless they have been there.

It's not crazy to feel that way. When Dh has to work and I have a day off, I wish she was still here to spend the day with, because I hate being alone.

Suzanne

Thank you for your kind words, Suzanne~
As hard as it is for me, I do get to say goodbye. I can't imagine losing a loved one so dear as a mom suddenly without being able to say goodbye.
:hug:

My mom passed away four years ago today and my heart feels like it was yesterday. The pain is still there and probably always will be. She was truelly my best friend and loved by so many. My dad passed away 10 months ago from a broken heart I think. Looking forward to a grand reunion someday though. :)

:hug:My thoughts are with you!

[PrincessSuzanne]

Thank you for your kind words, Suzanne~
As hard as it is for me, I do get to say goodbye. I can't imagine losing a loved one so dear as a mom suddenly without being able to say goodbye.
:hug:



:hug:My thoughts are with you!


Thank you, it has been a very difficult road, as I know yours will be, unfortunately, but you do have us here for support.

[LCARDVERO]

I'm 49 and still have my 87 year mom which I am grateful for!!

However, I am posting for my 14 year old niece.

She lost her mom when she was 10 years old. My sister-in-law was divorced and her father took her for 2 years then decided it was took much work and decided "he didn't want her anymore". She is very aggressive. It's tough because she is angry, however she's very difficult to handle and no-one really wants the job of raising her. It's much more complicated. It's so hard as I try to protect my own daughter as she would beat her up. She's doing better now that she's older. Tough times!!!!

[Mad Tea Party]

Hello everyone, I lost my mum to throat cancer when I was 5 years old, I remember it all like it was yesterday. It was totally out of the blue. I miss her all the time but at least she isn't suffering anymore. Although my dad has been amazing (he brought up 3 children on his own), I wish she was still here to see us all grow up xxx

[moepanz]

Hello everyone, I lost my mum to throat cancer when I was 5 years old, I remember it all like it was yesterday. It was totally out of the blue. I miss her all the time but at least she isn't suffering anymore. Although my dad has been amazing (he brought up 3 children on his own), I wish she was still here to see us all grow up xxx


Welcome to the thread. I can't imagine what it must have been like growing up without a mom. I was 39 when my mom passed away and I was devastated. I hope you find some comfort here. :grouphug:

[Mad Tea Party]

Thank you very much, it wasn't easy at all. We are lucky to have such a big and supportive family :)

[PrincessSuzanne]

I have really been missing my mom this month. I was sick for most of the first 3 weeks of Jan and you know a girl needs her mama when she is sick, mine would wait on me hand and foot when I was sick, so I missed that while sitting home alone. DH just couldn't fill the bill on that one and when he is tired coming in from work, he didn't want to wait on me and most days I couldn't get out of the chair to do more than go to the restroom and refill my drink.

Her birthday is coming up next week and I just hope I can make it thru without too much drama.

Suzanne

[Pumpkingirl7]

I have really been missing my mom this month. I was sick for most of the first 3 weeks of Jan and you know a girl needs her mama when she is sick, mine would wait on me hand and foot when I was sick, so I missed that while sitting home alone. DH just couldn't fill the bill on that one and when he is tired coming in from work, he didn't want to wait on me and most days I couldn't get out of the chair to do more than go to the restroom and refill my drink.

Her birthday is coming up next week and I just hope I can make it thru without too much drama.

Suzanne

I know your pain. I'm 14 weeks pregnant and it is hard to enjoy it without my mom here to support me or be excited about the baby.

[PrincessSuzanne]

I know your pain. I'm 14 weeks pregnant and it is hard to enjoy it without my mom here to support me or be excited about the baby.

Congratulations. I gave up trying to have a baby after my mom passed away, because it just seemed like the right thing to do, for us. It just seemed at that point I kept trying for her.

Suzanne

[memster]

Hi Everyone, I lost my Mom 2-2-2011 and I will tell ya I just can't get a handle on it. Today was the day I packed her clothes it was one of the hardest things I've had to do. She was my bestfriend, we did everything together. She brought me so much joy and happiness. I can't think about life without that angel in it.:sad1:

[mikamah]

Hi Everyone, I lost my Mom 2-2-2011 and I will tell ya I just can't get a handle on it. Today was the day I packed her clothes it was one of the hardest things I've had to do. She was my bestfriend, we did everything together. She brought me so much joy and happiness. I can't think about life without that angel in it.:sad1:
I am so sorry for your loss. :hug: It is so very hard and I know you will have some tough times ahead, and it's hard to imagnine right now, but time does heal, and as your heart starts to mend a little, all those wonderful memories of the joy and happiness she brought to your life will bring you smiles again.

I lost my mom in june of 09, and like you we had a great relationship, and the first year was so hard, and on her anniversary we had a mass and honored her with a big party and celebration of her life, and our family and her friends came, and she would have loved it. It's hard but we know she would want us to remember her with happiness and not tears.

I'm sending prayers that your memories will bring you comfort, and am sure your mom is watching over you. Give yourself the time you need to grieve. There is no timeframe for grief, and others who have been through what you're going through will understand, so reach out for support where you can.
Hang in there, take it one day at a time, and take care of yourself. :hug:

[PrincessSuzanne]

Hi Everyone, I lost my Mom 2-2-2011 and I will tell ya I just can't get a handle on it. Today was the day I packed her clothes it was one of the hardest things I've had to do. She was my bestfriend, we did everything together. She brought me so much joy and happiness. I can't think about life without that angel in it.:sad1:

I'm so sorry for your loss. I still have days here 2 1/2 years later where I can't handle her being gone. I still haven't packed up my mom's clothes. I say that, I did give away a few things to a lady that really needed them. I know it is time to get rid of the rest of the stuff, but it makes me so sad I just haven't gone back to finish. I know she would want it all to go to charity or someone who needs it, it just, I don't know, brings me comfort.


Suzanne

[memster]

Thanks so much for the comforting words Mikamah, it really does help. It's just so new and raw at this point. As you know for yourself every moment is different than the next. I try to think how lucky and greatful I was to have this awesome Human being in my life and I thank God for that.

[memster]

Also wanted to thank Princess Suzanne too. I feel like I'm not alone out there. Thanks again

[minniecarousel]

Tomorrow is the one-year anniversary of my Mom's death. My sisters and I are going to go out to lunch and do some "retail therapy".

I was doing OK today until I was in her room and noticed that the lavender sachet is still on the back of her door handle. She'd jiggle it a little to activate the odor.

We're finishing up the staging of our house to sell it. It's just too empty without her here.

[LCARDVERO]

Tomorrow is the one-year anniversary of my Mom's death. My sisters and I are going to go out to lunch and do some "retail therapy".

I was doing OK today until I was in her room and noticed that the lavender sachet is still on the back of her door handle. She'd jiggle it a little to activate the odor.

We're finishing up the staging of our house to sell it. It's just too empty without her here.


Stay strong and enjoy the memories.

[Rustysmom]

I'm going to Disney in July, for the first time since my Mom died. I hope I don't spend every day there crying about that. Last time I went my Mom was sick with pancreatic cancer and nobody even knew it. She probably didn't want to say how bad her pain was because she didn't want to ruin our trip.

While cleaning out her house to sell it, I found papers that led me to believe I was adopted. She never told me. I was mad at her for a while because of that, but I think she helped me find my birthmom. Had to have helped, because I found her in less than 2 months. Maybe she didn't want me to be all alone. I feel guilty for being mad at her, but it was such a shock to find out that way, you know? So now I have this birthmom and half-sister and half-brother and they want to be part of our lives, and it's nice, but it's also weird.

All I know is that it was just 3 years since she passed away, and I miss her so much!

[moepanz]

I'm going to Disney in July, for the first time since my Mom died. I hope I don't spend every day there crying about that. Last time I went my Mom was sick with pancreatic cancer and nobody even knew it. She probably didn't want to say how bad her pain was because she didn't want to ruin our trip.

While cleaning out her house to sell it, I found papers that led me to believe I was adopted. She never told me. I was mad at her for a while because of that, but I think she helped me find my birthmom. Had to have helped, because I found her in less than 2 months. Maybe she didn't want me to be all alone. I feel guilty for being mad at her, but it was such a shock to find out that way, you know? So now I have this birthmom and half-sister and half-brother and they want to be part of our lives, and it's nice, but it's also weird.

All I know is that it was just 3 years since she passed away, and I miss her so much!

That is a lot to deal with. Try to take comfort and know that she did the best she could (like all of us moms do) and did what she felt was right at the time by not telling you. I had some unresolved issues with my mom that turned out to be bigger than I thought, found out some things that I was very angry about but I thankfully and quickly realized that holding on to any of it was only hurting me and everyone else around me.

I can tell you my first trip to Disney after my mom passed was very emotional and I knew it was going to be (my mom took her bad and final turn for the worse while we were all in Disney knowing the chemo had not worked) I went with a friend for a weekend 1st time back. I did not want the kids with me thinking I would be a mess. I had my moments but, got through it. Warning Wishes was pretty hard I was a mess.

I wish I had some advice about the birthmom and 1/2 siblings but all I can say is I know a few people that have had amazing birth families (my cousin) and a friend of mind that was not lucky enough to have such a nice experience. I hope you find the comfort and support you need. :hug:

I grew up in Brooklyn, I am on Long Island for 7 years now. Where in Brooklyn are you?

[Rustysmom]

I live in Marine Park. :)

I think a good thing is that we want to go to Universal first. Hopefully that won't bring back bad memories because we never went there. Do they still have Wishes at Magic Kingdom? If they do, I know what you mean, I don't know if I can watch that because last time I watched it I was thinking about my mom and hoping she was going to feel better. I know I'll be a mess if I see it.

I am lucky that my birth family is sooo nice and welcomed me right in, no questions asked. I'm still in shock about the whole thing to tell you the truth. I think this year might be the first year in a long time that is going to be a good one.:thumbsup2

[moepanz]

I live in Marine Park. :)

I think a good thing is that we want to go to Universal first. Hopefully that won't bring back bad memories because we never went there. Do they still have Wishes at Magic Kingdom? If they do, I know what you mean, I don't know if I can watch that because last time I watched it I was thinking about my mom and hoping she was going to feel better. I know I'll be a mess if I see it.

I am lucky that my birth family is sooo nice and welcomed me right in, no questions asked. I'm still in shock about the whole thing to tell you the truth. I think this year might be the first year in a long time that is going to be a good one.:thumbsup2

I am going to send you a PM. I am from Marine Park too! LOL!!!

[Shelly F - Ohio]

I live in Marine Park. :)

I think a good thing is that we want to go to Universal first. Hopefully that won't bring back bad memories because we never went there. Do they still have Wishes at Magic Kingdom? If they do, I know what you mean, I don't know if I can watch that because last time I watched it I was thinking about my mom and hoping she was going to feel better. I know I'll be a mess if I see it.

I am lucky that my birth family is sooo nice and welcomed me right in, no questions asked. I'm still in shock about the whole thing to tell you the truth. I think this year might be the first year in a long time that is going to be a good one.:thumbsup2

If you can, go to wishes with your family and while watching if you get emotional say to yourself, "Mom is with us watch wishes too". I hope that will bring some comfort to you. Mom will be with you every step of the way on your vacation. :littleangel:

The first time I went to New York City and went up in the empire state building it was so calming. I was so high up in the air and the deck was not too crowded so I spent a little time thinking of my Mom it felt so good.

[Andrea]

I lost my grandmother who lived with me in january of 1998 ( i was 18 years old), then I lost my mother in Feb. of 1999 (i was 19 years old) and then in january 2000 ( i was still 19) I lost my dad.

I am 31 one now and still having a hard time. I feel like the longer it has been the harder it is getting for me.

I know i will make it though !!!

[minniebeth]

I lost my mom in November and this is the first Easter without her~
I'm hurting so much today, missing her so much. Easter was always a special holiday filled with much tradition for my family growing up. I'm trying to make the day nice for my family, but inside just so, so sad. Just needed to share with others who may understand.

Happy Spring to everyone, still waiting to have it feel warm and sunny like spring around here, but at least it's the season of promise~

[ACDSNY]

Minniebeth - I know what you mean, the holidays are just not the same anymore. We try making them fun for the kids, but it's hard on the adults. I hope Spring arrives for you soon.:hug:

Andrea - don't be too hard on yourself, loosing three family members so close together is tough to handle. It will get better!:hug:

May the new life and beauty of spring bring joy to all! :flower3:

[PrincessSuzanne]

Minniebeth - I know what you mean, the holidays are just not the same anymore. We try making them fun for the kids, but it's hard on the adults. I hope Spring arrives for you soon.:hug:

Andrea - don't be too hard on yourself, loosing three family members so close together is tough to handle. It will get better!:hug:

May the new life and beauty of spring bring joy to all! :flower3:

I have to agree, the holidays will never be the same again (I lost my mom in 2008), and we don't have children to start new traditions with.

Yesteday was just so weird. My mom loved Easter, she always filled an Easter basket for me every year, no matter how old I got, because she said I would always be her baby no matter how old I got, and it is strange to celebrate without her.

All holidays don't seem right now that she is gone, and I guess they will from now on.

Suzanne

[rndmr2]

:grouphug: to everyone on this thread. I found it just a little while ago and have read the whole thing.
I lost my mom on July 14, 2002 (the day before I turned 29 and about a year and a half after my sister passed away). I had moved from Phila to Va that January to be closer to my then BF (now DH) and had been home to visit a couple times but this was the first time she was coming to visit me and seeing where I lived (my dad had been there, he helped me move) and she passed away while there. They got there on Friday night and when we woke up Sunday morning she was gone. She had COPD (emphysema) and was on 24 hour Oxygen and was fairly stable (or so we thought) but wasn't doing well Saturday, we tried to get her to go to the hospital but she wouldn't go so they decided to leave the next morning and she promised they would go right to the hospital when they got there but obviously that didn't happen. I had a lot of guilt afterwards because it happened when she was visiting me, like maybe the trip was too much for her, if she had been home she would have gone to the hospital, etc. For the most part I've gotten past it but it is still hard sometimes.

[WendyWuWu]

I just found this thread and want to say prayers for all of you. I definately know how all of you feel.
You see, in March, 2010, my mom started having chest pain on her way to work. She went to the ER instead of heading on to work. I've been a nurse for over 20 years...a nurse anesthetist for the past few years....and really thought she might have a blood clot in her lung. Of course they treated her for heart pain, but I was sure that wasn't it. I was right in that it wasn't her heart...but wrong in that it was not a blood clot. Instead, she had a mass in her lung. CT showed she other tumors in her brain and several in her liver. I knew instantly what this meant. She was stage 4 metastatic lung cancer. She would not survive.
Mom put up a good fight...never complained...and very rarely felt much pain thankfully...but on August 31, 2010, she succumbed to her cancer. I never thought I'd ever feel so much grief....until recently.
Two weeks before Mom died, Dad had some routine lab done. It showed up he had myelodysplastic syndrome, aka pre-leukemia. The day after we buried Mom, Dad had to have a bone marrow biopsy. By Christmas, he was doing well. The chemo was working...he didn't feel sick...prayers were being answered.
By late March, his labs were not so good anymore. He was feeling more and more tired and his legs ached. He'd have good days and bad days, but more good than bad and he was doing "ok".
Less than two weeks ago, however, on May 10,2011, he had just left home to go to his chemo appointment when someone fell asleep coming around a curve and hit my dad head-on. They worked for about 2 hours, but he did not survive. Now I've lost both of my parents in the span of 8 months.
My mom and dad lived just around the corner from me. We own 100 acres in Kentucky and I live on one corner of the property, mom and dad lived on another, my brother on another, etc. I cooked supper for my parents, then just my dad almost every night just to make sure they were being taken care of. My mom was my best friend and my dad was my rock...my strength...
The grief of losing Mom was horrible. But when she died, I think we were all ready because we didn't like seeing her suffer. With Dad, we werent prepared. We thought we had more time. I try to thnk maybe this was God's way of saving him from a long path of suffering in the future, but then I think of how witnesses said he was looking around, moving his arm immediately after the wreck, and I can't help but worry that he was "with it" and wondering why noone was there helping him. Did he know he was dying? It breaks my heart and is almost unbearable to imagine this might be the case as it seems he'd already suffered so much. (side note: We're told from eye witnesses that 911 dispatch sent the ambulances to the wrong site and it took over 35 mins for the ambulance to get to dad) This situation seems to make his loss so much harder.
Thanks for listening.

[PrincessSuzanne]

I just found this thread and want to say prayers for all of you. I definately know how all of you feel.
You see, in March, 2010, my mom started having chest pain on her way to work. She went to the ER instead of heading on to work. I've been a nurse for over 20 years...a nurse anesthetist for the past few years....and really thought she might have a blood clot in her lung. Of course they treated her for heart pain, but I was sure that wasn't it. I was right in that it wasn't her heart...but wrong in that it was not a blood clot. Instead, she had a mass in her lung. CT showed she other tumors in her brain and several in her liver. I knew instantly what this meant. She was stage 4 metastatic lung cancer. She would not survive.
Mom put up a good fight...never complained...and very rarely felt much pain thankfully...but on August 31, 2010, she succumbed to her cancer. I never thought I'd ever feel so much grief....until recently.
Two weeks before Mom died, Dad had some routine lab done. It showed up he had myelodysplastic syndrome, aka pre-leukemia. The day after we buried Mom, Dad had to have a bone marrow biopsy. By Christmas, he was doing well. The chemo was working...he didn't feel sick...prayers were being answered.
By late March, his labs were not so good anymore. He was feeling more and more tired and his legs ached. He'd have good days and bad days, but more good than bad and he was doing "ok".
Less than two weeks ago, however, on May 10,2011, he had just left home to go to his chemo appointment when someone fell asleep coming around a curve and hit my dad head-on. They worked for about 2 hours, but he did not survive. Now I've lost both of my parents in the span of 8 months.
My mom and dad lived just around the corner from me. We own 100 acres in Kentucky and I live on one corner of the property, mom and dad lived on another, my brother on another, etc. I cooked supper for my parents, then just my dad almost every night just to make sure they were being taken care of. My mom was my best friend and my dad was my rock...my strength...
The grief of losing Mom was horrible. But when she died, I think we were all ready because we didn't like seeing her suffer. With Dad, we werent prepared. We thought we had more time. I try to thnk maybe this was God's way of saving him from a long path of suffering in the future, but then I think of how witnesses said he was looking around, moving his arm immediately after the wreck, and I can't help but worry that he was "with it" and wondering why noone was there helping him. Did he know he was dying? It breaks my heart and is almost unbearable to imagine this might be the case as it seems he'd already suffered so much. (side note: We're told from eye witnesses that 911 dispatch sent the ambulances to the wrong site and it took over 35 mins for the ambulance to get to dad) This situation seems to make his loss so much harder.
Thanks for listening.


I am so sorry, :grouphug: to you an your family, this has got to be very difficult. I only had 1 parent in my life to begin with, so I know what it is like to have no parents. It will get better, as I still tell myself, but it will never completely go away.

We are here to offer support and/or just a listening ear

Suzanne

[latmck]

I see that I am not alone in this. I lost my mom on April 15 (two months ago) from a tornado that hit Missisppi. She was the only one that died in the storm that rip thru our small community. My dad died 15 yrs ago. So it had been mom & me for a while until I got married and had kids. I am the only child. Oh my, it has been to hard because mom was one of my best friends. We talked several times a day. Her birthday is July 9 which will be very hard for me since I was planning a surprise party for her. We went on our first disney trip in May, & I wanted to bad to call her & tell her all the characters and fun time we are having, but realized that she would never pick up the phone. She always told me (when I was planning the trip) to take plenty of pics of the kids and their excitement. I look at my phone everyday and wonder why mom hasn't call me today. I told my dh that I don't know how I am going to get thru the holidays without mom. I miss her so much. The hardest part is that I didn't tell her goodbye and I love her before we hung up an hr before the tornado hit. Please pray for me and I will do the same for you guys.

[PrincessSuzanne]

I see that I am not alone in this. I lost my mom on April 15 (two months ago) from a tornado that hit Missisppi. She was the only one that died in the storm that rip thru our small community. My dad died 15 yrs ago. So it had been mom & me for a while until I got married and had kids. I am the only child. Oh my, it has been to hard because mom was one of my best friends. We talked several times a day. Her birthday is July 9 which will be very hard for me since I was planning a surprise party for her. We went on our first disney trip in May, & I wanted to bad to call her & tell her all the characters and fun time we are having, but realized that she would never pick up the phone. She always told me (when I was planning the trip) to take plenty of pics of the kids and their excitement. I look at my phone everyday and wonder why mom hasn't call me today. I told my dh that I don't know how I am going to get thru the holidays without mom. I miss her so much. The hardest part is that I didn't tell her goodbye and I love her before we hung up an hr before the tornado hit. Please pray for me and I will do the same for you guys.


That must be so difficult for you :hug:. I was lucky enough to get to take my mom on our first trip to WDW and several others before she passed away, she was such a big kid there and loved it so much.

It is getting close to 3 years since I lost my mom and I still wonder why she hasn't called me today, and why can't I call her and tell her exciting news when I have it. I am an only child and we were very close, best friends, and it is very difficult, because I don't have other friends, except my husband and there are just some things he doesn't see as exciting that she would have.

Where in GA are you?

Remember we are here to listen and we all understand. The holiday's will be really tough, but focus hard on your children and that will help some. I dealt with the first years holidays at home, then decided that the next years we would go to Disney for Christmas, but this is the first year, we won't be going, we have to wait until Jan, and I am dreading it already.

[melmar136]

Hi and :grouphug: to everyone here. I know you all know how I feel. I am really missing my mom more lately. I guess July will always be hard for me, since she died in July 2003. 8 years ago. And sometimes it seems like yesterday.

She was diagnosed with lung cancer in Feb 2003 and 5 months later she was gone. :sad1: She was only 58.

My mom was my best friend, and Disney planning was her thing. She passed that on to me, but everytime I plan a trip it is somewhat bittersweet.

My DD was only 4 when my mom died, and I know she really doesn't remember too much, which makes me so sad because my mom loved her sooo much and would have done anything for her!

I went to a Dis-meet last Sat, had fun, and sat with a great table of women. But I left feeling sad because 2 of the women (around my age) were there with their moms. They travel to WDW all the time with them, and it made me really miss the trips with my mom, and I know if she was still here, she'd be right on these boards with me, planning away.
I know I am very fortunate that I now get to plan trips for DD and I, and make the kind of memories with her that my mom and I had. But, I still can't help feeling sad about it sometimes too.

Just a hard day I guess. Thanks for listening!

[ACDSNY]

Hi and :grouphug: to everyone here. I know you all know how I feel. I am really missing my mom more lately. I guess July will always be hard for me, since she died in July 2003. 8 years ago. And sometimes it seems like yesterday.

She was diagnosed with lung cancer in Feb 2003 and 5 months later she was gone. :sad1: She was only 58.

My mom was my best friend, and Disney planning was her thing. She passed that on to me, but everytime I plan a trip it is somewhat bittersweet.

Hugs to you too!:hug: Keep the traditions going and you'll build wonderful memories with you DD.

July is rough for me too as my Mom passed away in July 1998 at 59 from cancer. Lucky for me June/July are really busy at work so it doesn't let me dwell on it for to long.

[Nancy F]

I miss my mom too. I really didnt even have time to grieve as I had to take in my 90 year old grandma who lived with her and I was recovering from surgery which I had complications from and almost died from like a week before that.

Now I have been fighting cancer all this year. I really wish my mom was around to encourage me and give me a hug etc. Her best friend lives in the next state. I call her aunt and she talks to me on the phone alot, I love her like a mom, but I miss my real mom.

Hope you'll except a :hug: from me.
I lost my Mom in 95 and miss her every day.
Nancy

[kimis]

Hi and :grouphug: to everyone here. I know you all know how I feel. I am really missing my mom more lately. I guess July will always be hard for me, since she died in July 2003. 8 years ago. And sometimes it seems like yesterday.

She was diagnosed with lung cancer in Feb 2003 and 5 months later she was gone. :sad1: She was only 58.

My mom was my best friend, and Disney planning was her thing. She passed that on to me, but everytime I plan a trip it is somewhat bittersweet.

My DD was only 4 when my mom died, and I know she really doesn't remember too much, which makes me so sad because my mom loved her sooo much and would have done anything for her!

I went to a Dis-meet last Sat, had fun, and sat with a great table of women. But I left feeling sad because 2 of the women (around my age) were there with their moms. They travel to WDW all the time with them, and it made me really miss the trips with my mom, and I know if she was still here, she'd be right on these boards with me, planning away.
I know I am very fortunate that I now get to plan trips for DD and I, and make the kind of memories with her that my mom and I had. But, I still can't help feeling sad about it sometimes too.

Just a hard day I guess. Thanks for listening!

I totally understand! My mom died of small cell lung cancer 3 and 1/2 months after diagnoses. That was 5 years ago and many days it feels like yesterday. She too was my best friend. We would talk on the phone many times daily. Hang in there---even on those hard days. Pass all that disney fun down to your daughter and she will have those wonderful memories to cherish just like you have of your mom. As for that feeling of sadness sometimes I don't think it goes away it just teaches us how precious life is and reminds us to make all the memories we can so others will remember us with smiles on their faces. Always remember this disboard site is a great place to find someone else who does understand what you are going through. :)

[melmar136]

I totally understand! My mom died of small cell lung cancer 3 and 1/2 months after diagnoses. That was 5 years ago and many days it feels like yesterday. She too was my best friend. We would talk on the phone many times daily. Hang in there---even on those hard days. Pass all that disney fun down to your daughter and she will have those wonderful memories to cherish just like you have of your mom. As for that feeling of sadness sometimes I don't think it goes away it just teaches us how precious life is and reminds us to make all the memories we can so others will remember us with smiles on their faces. Always remember this disboard site is a great place to find someone else who does understand what you are going through. :)

Thanks kimis, it is true...I definitely realize so much more now how short life can be, and I try to do as much as I can in the time I have, especially when it comes to making wonderful memories with my DD.
I'm glad there are others who do understand here...none of my friends have lost a parent, so don't truly know how hard it can be.
:hug: to you for having to go through all of it too!

[melmar136]

Hugs to you too!:hug: Keep the traditions going and you'll build wonderful memories with you DD.

July is rough for me too as my Mom passed away in July 1998 at 59 from cancer. Lucky for me June/July are really busy at work so it doesn't let me dwell on it for to long.

:hug: for your comments, and because July is hard on you as well. I see all the trips you have planned in your signature! Have great trips!

[MinaFemme]

Hi everyone...

My 50 year old mom died on May 18 of this year, three weeks after she was diagnosed with Stage 4 pancreatic cancer. I am starting to get out of the black hole of grief and depression that I've been in. I have a baby boy. so I am trying to be a happy mommy for him, but it's hard. Losing my mom changed my identity completely. I feel lost sometimes...

[iluveeyore]

Hi everyone...

My 50 year old mom died on May 18 of this year, three weeks after she was diagnosed with Stage 4 pancreatic cancer. I am starting to get out of the black hole of grief and depression that I've been in. I have a baby boy. so I am trying to be a happy mommy for him, but it's hard. Losing my mom changed my identity completely. I feel lost sometimes...

First, I am so sorry for your loss - hugs to you :hug: My Mom died at 48 when my daughter was 6 months old and my sons were 4 and 6. I can honestly tell you it's hard to remember the first 6 months after she died - thank goodness we have videos and pics of the children during that time, because I honestly felt like a zombie going through the motions. She was my best friend, and I saw her every day, so I can agree with you when you say it changed your identity completely - Even after 15 years, I miss her terribly and I know I have made choices with my life I would never have had she still been here (like jobs and moving). But you learn to adapt, you try your best to be a great mom for your children to make your Mom proud, and the pain does become a little less sharp with time. :littleangel:

[PrincessSuzanne]

Hi everyone...

My 50 year old mom died on May 18 of this year, three weeks after she was diagnosed with Stage 4 pancreatic cancer. I am starting to get out of the black hole of grief and depression that I've been in. I have a baby boy. so I am trying to be a happy mommy for him, but it's hard. Losing my mom changed my identity completely. I feel lost sometimes...

I am so sorry for your loss...I can so identify with you, I feel like I lost myself for right at a year. I just didn't care about anybody or anything, it is probably a miracle my DH didn't leave me and that I didn't lose my job. I was transferred to a different supervisor and to a new office and that was what broke me out of my own little world. I am so greatful to my supervisor...who shares a birthday with my mother...I think it was fate.

I am not the same person I was before, but I am not in that world of depression that I was then. Don't force yourself to change, let time do what it is supposed to.

My mom passed away 3 years ago this past Friday and I made it through, especially because of my husband.

Suzanne

[Shelly F - Ohio]

I am glad this board is still around that I started. I have been going through a rough time lately and sadly I may not be alive much longer. It is so nice to see so much support on here and I hope you guys will keep this board going in honor of my memory.
Take care and may God bless all of you and ease your pain.

[Shelly F - Ohio]

Hi everyone...

My 50 year old mom died on May 18 of this year, three weeks after she was diagnosed with Stage 4 pancreatic cancer. I am starting to get out of the black hole of grief and depression that I've been in. I have a baby boy. so I am trying to be a happy mommy for him, but it's hard. Losing my mom changed my identity completely. I feel lost sometimes...

:hug: to you. Take it one day at a time and with time your pain will ease it just might seem like it now but it will.

[PrincessSuzanne]

I am glad this board is still around that I started. I have been going through a rough time lately and sadly I may not be alive much longer. It is so nice to see so much support on here and I hope you guys will keep this board going in honor of my memory.
Take care and may God bless all of you and ease your pain.

Now, Shelly, don't talk like that. You do have alot of support here. If you need to talk, I am just a PM away, I am on facebook, and I would even be happy to talk to you on the phone, DH works at night, so I am home with only the cats to talk to...LOL

I am going to ask for prayers for a little girl (she is 9 or 10) in our community, her 40 year old mother passed away on Sunday afternoon probably from a stroke. She dances with my cousins and her mother was very involved with her as well as the rest of the little girls, she was also on our local police force. She will be laid to rest this morning.

I feel so sorry for this little girl, she and her mother were as close as my mother and I were. My cousin read me a note she had laid on her mother's chest at the visitation and I just cried, I knew them both but not as well.

[cheyandrew7]

I lost my mom about 15 years ago in 1996 she passed on my 14th birthday of lung cancer.I lived with her and my grandma (my dad's mom ) they was really close after my dad bailed on us his choice he wanted boys not girls and i was his first girl and he came back in my life so many times but promises my kids to go and do something and then doesn't show just like he did to me and I told him that was enought just to leave us alone but anyways back to my mom, I miss her so much, I wish she could have seen my kids and meet my hubby.

In 2003 I had my first son Caleb and was the best little baby and he passed away from sids on feb 9th 2004 he was only 4 months old

Then about 5 years ago my grandma (my dad's mom) passed away 10 years and 1 week after my mom did. She had breast cancer then it spread to the liver and lungs.
I miss them all so much I don't really have a favorite memory just all of them i guess

[Twende]

I am glad this board is still around that I started. I have been going through a rough time lately and sadly I may not be alive much longer. It is so nice to see so much support on here and I hope you guys will keep this board going in honor of my memory.
Take care and may God bless all of you and ease your pain.

Shelly, What is wrong? Did I miss something? Are you okay? Stupid question, Kim...obviously you are not okay!

Is there anything we can do? Hugs :grouphug:to you right now and please let us at least try to help! :goodvibes

[Shelly F - Ohio]

That is so sad. That poor little thing.

Now, Shelly, don't talk like that. You do have alot of support here. If you need to talk, I am just a PM away, I am on facebook, and I would even be happy to talk to you on the phone, DH works at night, so I am home with only the cats to talk to...LOL

I am going to ask for prayers for a little girl (she is 9 or 10) in our community, her 40 year old mother passed away on Sunday afternoon probably from a stroke. She dances with my cousins and her mother was very involved with her as well as the rest of the little girls, she was also on our local police force. She will be laid to rest this morning.

I feel so sorry for this little girl, she and her mother were as close as my mother and I were. My cousin read me a note she had laid on her mother's chest at the visitation and I just cried, I knew them both but not as well.

[Bareacuda]

I lost my mom on 12 Sept. 2011.
She had Alzheimers and heart disease, it was a stroke that took her.
I was informed of her " not going to make it thru the night", as I was trying to wake up from the 2 am call. I got out of bed to call my boss, I was called again to let me know she was with my dad. And uninvited to come to California for the services... I wasnt wanted there.
Arrangements were made the week before when she had the stroke and put into the hospital. I knew nothing of this. My brother and sisters were there to say good bye and make her arrangments. Im glad she didnt go alone.
Im sad that I wasnt included in her last week, just to hold her hand one last time. I figured the last time I did see her would be our last time together, so I really did get to say good bye.


Ann:hug:

[quasar4legs]

I lost my mom on 12 Sept. 2011.
She had Alzheimers and heart disease, it was a stroke that took her.
I was informed of her " not going to make it thru the night", as I was trying to wake up from the 2 am call. I got out of bed to call my boss, I was called again to let me know she was with my dad. And uninvited to come to California for the services... I wasnt wanted there.
Arrangements were made the week before when she had the stroke and put into the hospital. I knew nothing of this. My brother and sisters were there to say good bye and make her arrangments. Im glad she didnt go alone.
Im sad that I wasnt included in her last week, just to hold her hand one last time. I figured the last time I did see her would be our last time together, so I really did get to say good bye.


Ann:hug:



I am so sorry for your loss Ann.

It must be very distressing for you to lose your mum and not be included in the arrangements for her funeral and I sorry that you have to endure this additional pain.

Perhaps you can find your own way to say 'goodbye' and honor your mum's life.

Please know that I am thinking of you:hug:

Quasar

[Bareacuda]

I am so sorry for your loss Ann.

It must be very distressing for you to lose your mum and not be included in the arrangements for her funeral and I sorry that you have to endure this additional pain.

Perhaps you can find your own way to say 'goodbye' and honor your mum's life.

Please know that I am thinking of you:hug:

Quasar



Thanks. We have planned a balloon release for her tomorrow. And a dinner at her fav mexican place. We all have to eat a chile!:scared1:


Ann:flower3:

[two*little*birds]

I lost my Mom in 1993 when I was only 18.

She passed away from Lou Gehrig's Disease (ALS) after a 5 year battle.

She missed all my major milestones - graduations, wedding, grandchildren, etc.

I miss her more than anything, she was my best friend. Even now, 18 years later, I get teary eye'd just thinking of her.

[quasar4legs]

Thanks. We have planned a balloon release for her tomorrow. And a dinner at her fav mexican place. We all have to eat a chile!:scared1:


Ann:flower3:

The balloon release and dinner sound very special.
Good luck with the chilli, I hope it's not too hot.

:hug: Quasar

[quasar4legs]

I lost my Mom in 1993 when I was only 18.

She passed away from Lou Gehrig's Disease (ALS) after a 5 year battle.

She missed all my major milestones - graduations, wedding, grandchildren, etc.

I miss her more than anything, she was my best friend. Even now, 18 years later, I get teary eye'd just thinking of her.



I am so sorry you lost your mum at such a young age:hug:
A part of your mum will always be with you at those special milestones but it is not the same as being physically there and I can only imagine how difficult it has been for you.

:hug:Quasar

[melmar136]

I happened upon a great book tonite at the library called Feathers Brush My Heart (true stories of mothers touching their daughters' lives after death), by Sinclair Browning. It has short stories in it about how mothers contact their daughters through dreams, objects, etc. and show that their love, care and concern for us never really dies.

I have been missing my mom a lot lately, more so than usual, and she has been gone for more than 8 years, so I was glad to see this book. I really relate to the stories, because I truly feel my mom has been there for me at times. It is a long story, but we relate seeing a red cardinal as a sign of my mom being there, and cardinals have shown up at times that are too odd to be coincidental. I know it was her, just showing me she is still there, and watching over me.

I have only read 2 stories in the book so far, but know it will be a comfort. So, thought I'd share it!
:hug: to all!

[bobdacat]

Just saw this thread.

Unfortunately I also can say that we lost my wife to breast cancer on April 28, 2010 after a 4 year battle. She was a wonderful mother to our 2 children daughter 11 and son 7. It is such a nasty disease, she never stopped fighting it right up to the end. Her strength is certainly in our children, they don't let anything stop them. We all miss our loved ones so much, but also we must keep moving forward thats what they all would want.

[quasar4legs]

[QUOTE=bobdacat;42949285]Just saw this thread.

Unfortunately I also can say that we lost my wife to breast cancer on April 28, 2010 after a 4 year battle. She was a wonderful mother to our 2 children daughter 11 and son 7. It is such a nasty disease, she never stopped fighting it right up to the end. Her strength is certainly in our children, they don't let anything stop them. We all miss our loved ones so much, but also we must keep moving forward thats what they all would want.[/QUOTE

I am so sorry that you lost your wife at such a young age.:hug:

You are right that no matter what happens in life we must go on but sometimes it is a difficult journey.

Big :grouphug: to you and your precious children. It must be a blessing to see your wife's strength in your children.

:grouphug:
Quasar

[Nox54]

Just saw this thread.

Unfortunately I also can say that we lost my wife to breast cancer on April 28, 2010 after a 4 year battle. She was a wonderful mother to our 2 children daughter 11 and son 7. It is such a nasty disease, she never stopped fighting it right up to the end. Her strength is certainly in our children, they don't let anything stop them. We all miss our loved ones so much, but also we must keep moving forward thats what they all would want.



:hug: I'm so sorry

[Nox54]

I lost my mom in 2004. She used to go with us to Disneyland. I remember the first year we went without her (2001- after her cancer dx).

[Twende]

I lost my mom for the final time on Saturday, 10/22. :sad1:

It was suppose to be a happy day as it was our 35th Wedding Anniversary. My husband and I had nothing really special planned, just time with each other and our oldest son. We happened to be in his town that weekend getting some winterizing done to my mother's Ohio home.

The call came early in the morning. She had passed away, alone, in a bed, in an institution in FL.

I remember my last words to her, "Mom, It will be okay." The words were so inadequate for the situation at hand.

It was seven months and 7 days before her death. She was being taken away from me and her home. She was placed by her sons into an institution in FL, where according to them she would get care. My father, her husband had died three days earlier. His wishes were for me to care for her. It was in his will and before his death the entire family had agreed to it.

I will never understand what went down. I will never get over the pain of seeing her ripped away. She was so upset and wanted me.

A new widow who is 92 years old should not be taken from everything they know and hold dear! :sad2:

She had dementia but she had very lucid times. She knew what she wanted and she understood what they were doing to her. She begged me to hide her away and find a way to stop them from taking her from her home. I tried every legal thing I could think of to stop them.

I lost Mom to dementia, my Mama appeared. She was a very different person from my Mom, but still a pretty great person. I lost my Mama to my brothers and their greed. Losing her three times has been impossibly difficult.

I am so glad she is now at peace and in Heaven. :cloud9: She knows that I kept every promise made to her and to dad. I will live a good life to celebrate hers!

She was the most amazing mother, grandmother, great grandmother, wife and friend. We who loved her most, are happy that she is no longer suffering!

[quasar4legs]

I lost my mom for the final time on Saturday, 10/22. :sad1:

It was suppose to be a happy day as it was our 35th Wedding Anniversary. My husband and I had nothing really special planned, just time with each other and our oldest son. We happened to be in his town that weekend getting some winterizing done to my mother's Ohio home.

The call came early in the morning. She had passed away, alone, in a bed, in an institution in FL.

I remember my last words to her, "Mom, It will be okay." The words were so inadequate for the situation at hand.

It was seven months and 7 days before her death. She was being taken away from me and her home. She was placed by her sons into an institution in FL, where according to them she would get care. My father, her husband had died three days earlier. His wishes were for me to care for her. It was in his will and before his death the entire family had agreed to it.

I will never understand what went down. I will never get over the pain of seeing her ripped away. She was so upset and wanted me.

A new widow who is 92 years old should not be taken from everything they know and hold dear! :sad2:

She had dementia but she had very lucid times. She knew what she wanted and she understood what they were doing to her. She begged me to hide her away and find a way to stop them from taking her from her home. I tried every legal thing I could think of to stop them.

I lost Mom to dementia, my Mama appeared. She was a very different person from my Mom, but still a pretty great person. I lost my Mama to my brothers and their greed. Losing her three times has been impossibly difficult.

I am so glad she is now at peace and in Heaven. :cloud9: She knows that I kept every promise made to her and to dad. I will live a good life to celebrate hers!

She was the most amazing mother, grandmother, great grandmother, wife and friend. We who loved her most, are happy that she is no longer suffering!

I am so sorry that you have lost your mum, it must have been a very difficult dealing with all these ongoing losses over the past few years.

Hold on to you happy memories and please know that I am thinking of you and your family during this sad time:grouphug:

:grouphug:
Quasar

[shoes99]

My mom died at the age of 78 on 11/6/01, so it is her 10 year anniversary. We lost her to early onset alzheimers and she was in a nursing home since 1997. She was loving and trusting and the aids at the nursing home loved her and took good care of her. She did not speak for the last 3 years of her life, but my dad, sisters & I visited often. I still miss her. She loved Disney, and even when she was sick I took her to Universal and WDW.

[Shelly F - Ohio]

So sorry for your loss honey :hug:
It sounds as though your Mom lead a very long and happy life until her dementia hit.
Your Mom & Dad had a long life together and they say when one passes on so does the other. Take comfort that the two of them are together again.
I know hard it is not to be there when she passes but remember she loves you. So hold that thought in your heart as you try to get through this very rough time.

On another note..I have been to Canfield Ohio. Went there to see Jo Dee Messina at the fair a few years ago.
Hugs to you :hug:

I lost my mom for the final time on Saturday, 10/22. :sad1:

It was suppose to be a happy day as it was our 35th Wedding Anniversary. My husband and I had nothing really special planned, just time with each other and our oldest son. We happened to be in his town that weekend getting some winterizing done to my mother's Ohio home.

The call came early in the morning. She had passed away, alone, in a bed, in an institution in FL.

I remember my last words to her, "Mom, It will be okay." The words were so inadequate for the situation at hand.

It was seven months and 7 days before her death. She was being taken away from me and her home. She was placed by her sons into an institution in FL, where according to them she would get care. My father, her husband had died three days earlier. His wishes were for me to care for her. It was in his will and before his death the entire family had agreed to it.

I will never understand what went down. I will never get over the pain of seeing her ripped away. She was so upset and wanted me.

A new widow who is 92 years old should not be taken from everything they know and hold dear! :sad2:

She had dementia but she had very lucid times. She knew what she wanted and she understood what they were doing to her. She begged me to hide her away and find a way to stop them from taking her from her home. I tried every legal thing I could think of to stop them.

I lost Mom to dementia, my Mama appeared. She was a very different person from my Mom, but still a pretty great person. I lost my Mama to my brothers and their greed. Losing her three times has been impossibly difficult.

I am so glad she is now at peace and in Heaven. :cloud9: She knows that I kept every promise made to her and to dad. I will live a good life to celebrate hers!

She was the most amazing mother, grandmother, great grandmother, wife and friend. We who loved her most, are happy that she is no longer suffering!

[friend2Figment]

I lost my mom this past year 12/19/11, 19 days after we found out that she had cancer. She would have been 72 later this month.

She was able to come home and spend her last couple days at home with family at her side. If it was not for the excellent help Hospice helped provide I do not know what we would have done.

I am not sure I have really come to terms yet. It just seems like a dream and I will wake up and she will be here. We were starting to plan for our next WDW trip and she kept telling me she was not going to be able to come. Not sure WDW will ever be the same as my mom came with us every time we went.

[PrincessSuzanne]

I lost my mom this past year 12/19/11, 19 days after we found out that she had cancer. She would have been 72 later this month.

She was able to come home and spend her last couple days at home with family at her side. If it was not for the excellent help Hospice helped provide I do not know what we would have done.

I am not sure I have really come to terms yet. It just seems like a dream and I will wake up and she will be here. We were starting to plan for our next WDW trip and she kept telling me she was not going to be able to come. Not sure WDW will ever be the same as my mom came with us every time we went.

First of all, I am so sorry for your loss and right at the holidays :hug:

That sounds exctly how I talked when I lost my mom and I still have difficult days, especially holidays. I still have times I wish I would wake up or that I could have 1 more day, or just some time to talk to her when she can talk back.

My experience was a bit different, my mother passed unexpectedly and very quickly, talk about a shock. Hospice was a blessing when my grandmother passed away.

The first thing I wanted to do after her funeral was to take off and go to WDW, because I thought I would feel closer to her there. Our trips are so bittersweet now with her memories, I always kind of feel her presence when we're there and we always make sure to do something that she liked to do like ride IASW.

You will eventually feel better, I didn't believe that when everyone told me that, but it does get better, although it will never disappear.

[Shelly F - Ohio]

Here is a big :hug::hug::hug: for you. I can see how it feels like a dream to you after lossing your Mom. The holidays came and you have been if fast forward for a few weeks now.
Now that the holidays are over it may hit you so have your support network close by. Remember we are here too. We have walked in your shoes and will help you through this.
Planning a WDW trip is a great diversion. When are you going? Where will you be staying at?



I lost my mom this past year 12/19/11, 19 days after we found out that she had cancer. She would have been 72 later this month.

She was able to come home and spend her last couple days at home with family at her side. If it was not for the excellent help Hospice helped provide I do not know what we would have done.

I am not sure I have really come to terms yet. It just seems like a dream and I will wake up and she will be here. We were starting to plan for our next WDW trip and she kept telling me she was not going to be able to come. Not sure WDW will ever be the same as my mom came with us every time we went.

[latmck]

I lost my mom this past year 12/19/11, 19 days after we found out that she had cancer. She would have been 72 later this month.

She was able to come home and spend her last couple days at home with family at her side. If it was not for the excellent help Hospice helped provide I do not know what we would have done.

I am not sure I have really come to terms yet. It just seems like a dream and I will wake up and she will be here. We were starting to plan for our next WDW trip and she kept telling me she was not going to be able to come. Not sure WDW will ever be the same as my mom came with us every time we went.

:hug::hug::hug:I am sorry for your loss. I lost my mother almost 9 months ago. And sometimes I still feels like its a dream too. I have gotten thru my first holidays without her. I remembered telling my mom that I was going to take her on our second trip to WDW this yr. Like your mom, she said the same thing that she isn't going to be here much longer to see that magical place. I think that both of your moms knew that their time on this Earth was not going to be long.

It has been difficult at times especially when I want to talk to her. Yesterday, I got a chance to talk to her friend up north. Mom and her friend use to talk twice a wk. Mom's friend is an elderly lady and mom would call to check on her. Mom's friend missed her dearly and had a few crying spells on the phone. I amazed myself that I handled it well...I cried too but at the same time was consoling her too. She missed those calls and talking to mom just like me. Next month, I decided to take grief support class at a local church. I heard that it is a wonderful support program. I believe that it is nationwide. It's called griefshare.org if anybody wants to check it out.

Thanks for keeping this thread going....

[Heluvsme]

I want to offer my most sincere condolences to everyone here. I have seen this thread but haven't read any posts, until this morning. I thought even opening it up would just start a whole new 'can of worms' so to speak.

And get this... it's been 13 years since my mom was cured of cancer. I say "cured of cancer" because even the terminology of "died..." vs. "cured..." seems to help my mindset. 13 years and some days it still feels like it just happened, although it does get less raw.

I'll say more later, but I wanted to add my support to those of you who are in a very raw state of suffering right now. I know what it's like, yet we're all so different in our grief. My best friend also passed, 2 years ago, at age 40, from breast cancer, she left her 2 sweet kiddos behind... ages 12 and 9. I try to help them through as best I can, but ... well, you all know... that is something that almost has to be journeyed at their own pace.

Sending you all a lot of love right now... I wish you all more good days than bad, and I hope for you all to allow your sweet memories to wrap themselves around you and comfort you.

~Dawn

[Shelly F - Ohio]

Ever have one of those days where you really need your Mom? Today is one of those days. I need some hugs and compassion today :( and a few prayers to keep me going.

[Heluvsme]

Shelly F.... consider yourself hugged!!!

:hug:

I just said a prayer for you, and for everyone who is suffering.


There's a passage in The Secret Life Of Bees, and this isn't an exact quote, but the sentiment has always stuck with me. A motherless child is told by a woman who is her guardian of sorts, and very nurturing towards her, "Sometimes we have to learn to mother ourselves." Again, not an exact quote, but the explanation goes on to say that we learn to do what we need to to comfort ourselves, we get to know ourselves---our needs and our wants--- better, and then learn to compensate as best we can by nurturing ourselves.

Not even close to having your own mom though.

[Shelly F - Ohio]

Some times I just need a hug and reassurance that everything will be okay :(

Shelly F.... consider yourself hugged!!!

:hug:

I just said a prayer for you, and for everyone who is suffering.


There's a passage in The Secret Life Of Bees, and this isn't an exact quote, but the sentiment has always stuck with me. A motherless child is told by a woman who is her guardian of sorts, and very nurturing towards her, "Sometimes we have to learn to mother ourselves." Again, not an exact quote, but the explanation goes on to say that we learn to do what we need to to comfort ourselves, we get to know ourselves---our needs and our wants--- better, and then learn to compensate as best we can by nurturing ourselves.

Not even close to having your own mom though.

[PrincessSuzanne]

Ever have one of those days where you really need your Mom? Today is one of those days. I need some hugs and compassion today :( and a few prayers to keep me going.

Some times I just need a hug and reassurance that everything will be okay :(

I know exactly how that feels. I just have to sit down and cry and that seems to help.

[Bareacuda]

I know exactly how that feels. I just have to sit down and cry and that seems to help.

:thumbsup2:hug:

[shoes99]

I'm glad I can come back to this post when I feel sad and miss my Mom. Tomorrow January 23rd would have been her 90th birthday, but sadly she got sick at age 68 and was in a nursing home for the last 4 years of her life until she died at age 79. I just wish I could hear her voice again, sometimes I still can. Hugs to all the daughters who are missing their Mom today..
Michele

[ImaDVCwannabe]

This has been an encouraging thread. It helps to hear from others who really understand how I feel. I lost my Mama on Monday Jan 30th 2012 after a very brave two year battle with cancer. She went way too soon and way to young. She had just turned 62 in September. I know that time will help but I am really struggling with the fact that she will not be around to watch my beautiful children grow up. I feel cheated that my baby boy wont remember her. Thanks for making this thread. Its nice to have a place to vent.

[Twende]

Lydia, I am so sorry to hear of the loss of your mom. I lost my mom in Oct 2011. It has been unbelievably difficult for me. I miss her so much!

I lost her first to what everyone but me, thought was Alzheimers. She was not following the normal course of deterioration so I kept saying that she had dementia from strokes. After my father died in March 2011, my brothers took her away from me, her home and everything she knew and confined her in an institution. I lost her again because of this. They would not tell me where they put her. I was told that within a week she had stopped walking. She walked almost a mile every day with me. I just got her death certificate and she died of starvation. She refused to eat for them.:sad2: I also just got her brain report back and she did not have Alzheimers she had vascular dementia.

I wish being right made me feel better. If only I could have found out where they took her and rescued her. I know she would still be alive if she was with me! It is all so unbelievable! :confused:

Two nights ago, I dreamed of her for the first time. She was smiling with tears in her eyes. She was walking behind me and saying goodbye to things. At one point she was walking under the train station at Disney World and saying her goodbyes to her beloved mouse! She was with my dad and he was doing the same thing. I got a strange peace from the dream.:goodvibes

[PrincessSuzanne]

This has been an encouraging thread. It helps to hear from others who really understand how I feel. I lost my Mama on Monday Jan 30th 2012 after a very brave two year battle with cancer. She went way too soon and way to young. She had just turned 62 in September. I know that time will help but I am really struggling with the fact that she will not be around to watch my beautiful children grow up. I feel cheated that my baby boy wont remember her. Thanks for making this thread. Its nice to have a place to vent.

Welcome, sorry you have to be here under these circumstances, but know the rest of us know just how you feel. I lost my mom when she was young, only 60, but I had no idea she was going to leave me.

Just know that she will get to watch your children grow up, maybe not in the traditional sense, but she will. Also, keep her memory alive so that your youngest will know her. I was 5 when my grandfather died, but I will always have memories of thinge we did together, but mostly because my grandmother and mom made sure to keep his spirit with me.

Lydia, I am so sorry to hear of the loss of your mom. I lost my mom in Oct 2011. It has been unbelievably difficult for me. I miss her so much!

I lost her first to what everyone but me, thought was Alzheimers. She was not following the normal course of deterioration so I kept saying that she had dementia from strokes. After my father died in March 2011, my brothers took her away from me, her home and everything she knew and confined her in an institution. I lost her again because of this. They would not tell me where they put her. I was told that within a week she had stopped walking. She walked almost a mile every day with me. I just got her death certificate and she died of starvation. She refused to eat for them.:sad2: I also just got her brain report back and she did not have Alzheimers she had vascular dementia.

I wish being right made me feel better. If only I could have found out where they took her and rescued her. I know she would still be alive if she was with me! It is all so unbelievable! :confused:

Two nights ago, I dreamed of her for the first time. She was smiling with tears in her eyes. She was walking behind me and saying goodbye to things. At one point she was walking under the train station at Disney World and saying her goodbyes to her beloved mouse! She was with my dad and he was doing the same thing. I got a strange peace from the dream.:goodvibes


That sounds so much like the way my grandmother died, although they do believe she had Alzheimers and we did everything we could, it was the fast progressing kind. My aunt took her, to try to help until my mom could retire, but instead didn't provide her with the care she needed and there was no excuse for it, there were 5 grown adults in their home who could have prevented what happened to her. My mom and I did for many months, just the 2 of us. I gave them detailed instructions. I have lived with feeling guilty, I had been caring for her, but had to go back to work, but it wasn't my fault and they have to live with what they did.

My grandmother got to a point where she didn't want to eat and we did everything possible, the doctor gave her meds to try to get her to eat, which helped a little bit, but not much, they sort of lose the part of the brain that lets them know they are hungry, that they can walk, take care of themselves, it's very difficult.

It has been just over 3 years since I lost my mom and while it has gotten better, life will never truely be completely normal again, but know that we are here to support each other.

My mom's 64the birthday is coming up on Saturday and I have to spend the day alone, that will be very difficult

[kimmyann]

I didn't know this thread was here. I lost my mom on Feb 28, 2008 to complications from COPD. Time has helped, I no longer get those bouts of horrible, helpless, empty feelings of pain like I did. Now I just live with guilt & regrets.

My mother had a history of mental illness & would not let us help her. She would complain excessively of being lonely, but would never move in with any of her five kids or allow us to move in with her. (this is after my dad died in 2002 of pancreatic cancer) I became very frustrated with her, to the point I would ignore her phone calls sometimes just to keep my sanity. My brother moved her out of her house & into a assisted living facility in January 2008. After several hospital visits, I knew she was very unhealthy, but she continued to smoke even with full oxygen. I got a phone call at 3am that she was being taken again to the hospital. So of course I got up & went. This time it was different...when the Dr finally came out he took my sister & I to a room & informed us that she was incubated because she could not breathe on her on. When we were finally able to see her she could not speak. We asked her to write down what she wanted, she said a coke, we all laughed, never realizing that was the last time we would ever communicate with her again.

Then.....we killed her. After a week of the Dr's trying for her to breathe on her own, we were left with the decision of taking her off the ventilator & let nature take it's course or having a permanent one put in her throat & her be in such a bad state that she would be bedridden for the rest of her life. There was no recovery. I feel sometimes that we should have let her live, that maybe she would have gotten better enough to function. I know her family Dr told the hospital that she was not even a candidate for a ventilator, but I still can't get past the guilt that we killed her. She would have never gave up on any of us like that. After her death, some of my siblings pushed for her apartment & house to be cleaned out as quick as possible, another regret. It was too fast. We threw away things I want back. I didn't get time to say goodbye to the house I grew up in. I can't get anything back & it hurts.

A couple of things that have helped me (or maybe not) is that the morning she died, I had went home for a few hours of sleep. I had a dream that I was in a room & two nurses (old fashioned ones with the big hats) where sitting down when I walked in & said something like "she is fine, we will take care of her now". The phone woke me up from that dream...it was my sister in law calling to tell me my mom just died. I & my brother had dreams after that, which really made me believe that there is a process to dying. I also have recently realized that maybe she wasn't so crazy....looking back I now understand alot of why she was the way she was, I just wish I could let her know.

Sorry this got so long, I just have kept it in for a long time. Thank you for having this thread.

Kim

[mikamah]

Kimmyann- I am so sorry for the loss of your mom, and for the regret. You did not kill her, the COPD killed her, and you were able to make the decision to let nature take its course, and to allow her to go with dignity and comfort. It is such a hard decision and I hope you can find peace with it, and know you did what you felt was best for her, and what the doctors also thought was best too.

I lost my mom almost 3 years ago, and she had copd, diabetes, and multiple health issues, and being a nurse I feared the day me and my siblings might have to make that decision, but then she was diagnosed with terminal lung cancer and passed a month later. I think no matter what happens we always have regrets, and wonder if we could have done more to help the ones we've lost.

It is so hard with copd, and I have watched many people struggle with that disease, and I think you did the right thing, and your mom is at peace now. I would like to think she is out there, and knows what you are feeling. I agree the dream you had right as she died seems like a sign she is ok, and would not want you to be feeling badly. Hang in there. I hope talking about the guilt can help you find peace with it too.:hug:

[Karabee]

Never knew that this post existed until I decided to play around a bit on the Disboards for more than just "Resorts" and "restaurants". With Mother's Day coming up this was a nice thread to read in the sense that you feel you're not alone. I lost my mother 3 years ago to Breast Cancer - her 3rd time having it. She was 13 days past her 56th birthday (way too young) and I was 4 days past my 26th. Needless to say that time of year is no longer really "special" to me. I'm sure we can all say that one thing is for sure about it - it sucks!

[ACDSNY]

I'm sure we can all say that one thing is for sure about it - it sucks!

I'm sure we all will agree with you on this no matter how old we are.

Sorry for you loss.:hug:

[Inventor]

Just found this thread...actually just rejoined. When it started my mom was still alive. I lost her one month ago but I survived my first mother's day without her and now my first birthday. I am happy she is out of pain but oh I miss her.

Maybe Tinkerbell will go up to Heaven and give her a hug for me too.

[quasar4legs]

Just found this thread...actually just rejoined. When it started my mom was still alive. I lost her one month ago but I survived my first mother's day without her and now my first birthday. I am happy she is out of pain but oh I miss her.

Maybe Tinkerbell will go up to Heaven and give her a hug for me too.


I am sorry that you have lost your precious mum, "first" days are so hard after we lose someone we love.
Hold your special memories of your mum close to your heart.
Sending you a big:hug:

Quasar

[Deesknee]

This is my first Memorial Day without my Mom. I expected to be sad on Mothers Day, I thank God I have the husband & kids I do, they did EVERYTHING they could to make it simply soothing for me. I however, didn't expect for this weekend to hit me so hard. I have always gone to the cemetarys (grandparents and brother) planting flowers and such, but have really thought of it more of an "american veterans remembrance day". Today we went to the cemetary (flowers were already planted for Easter/Mothers Day. Although, I know it "was her time" I miss her so much. As DH & I plan a vow renewal, and trip to WDW, it just doesn't seem right without her.
A side note.. we also went to the grave of a dear friend who took his own life in March, so I know that is hitting me too. It's a long sad story, but his name has not been added to the tomb stone yet, and that upset me as well. I do take comfort in believing in the forgiveness of sins & that he & my Mom are in heaven playing Yahtzee together. They loved each other very much.
Sorry, this has been wordy. But thanks to all who started & kept this going so I & others have some where to type as the tears drip down. Peace to all.

[quasar4legs]

This is my first Memorial Day without my Mom. I expected to be sad on Mothers Day, I thank God I have the husband & kids I do, they did EVERYTHING they could to make it simply soothing for me. I however, didn't expect for this weekend to hit me so hard. I have always gone to the cemetarys (grandparents and brother) planting flowers and such, but have really thought of it more of an "american veterans remembrance day". Today we went to the cemetary (flowers were already planted for Easter/Mothers Day. Although, I know it "was her time" I miss her so much. As DH & I plan a vow renewal, and trip to WDW, it just doesn't seem right without her.
A side note.. we also went to the grave of a dear friend who took his own life in March, so I know that is hitting me too. It's a long sad story, but his name has not been added to the tomb stone yet, and that upset me as well. I do take comfort in believing in the forgiveness of sins & that he & my Mom are in heaven playing Yahtzee together. They loved each other very much.
Sorry, this has been wordy. But thanks to all who started & kept this going so I & others have some where to type as the tears drip down. Peace to all.


I guess we all know that the natural order of things is bury our parents but somehow that doesn't make losing them any easier. It is so hard to have all family celebrations without people that we love, there is always that ache in your heart.

Best wishes to you and your husband for your vow renewal I am sure your mother will 'be there' (if that makes sense).

:hug: to you and your family

Quasar

[Deesknee]

I guess we all know that the natural order of things is bury our parents but somehow that doesn't make losing them any easier. It is so hard to have all family celebrations without people that we love, there is always that ache in your heart.

Best wishes to you and your husband for your vow renewal I am sure your mother will 'be there' (if that makes sense).

:hug: to you and your family

Quasar

Thank you. And you are right, she is with me every day.