Taking family vent

[Shleedogg]

When DH and I bought in at BLT in July we were so excited because that meant we could start helping family and friends take cheaper vacations but stay at nicer resorts. SIL (DH's sister) is driving me crazy. At first she was really excited that she, her husband and our niece could stay at AKV. DN LOVES giraffes. I mean LOVES. Rack rate for when we're going would put AKL way out of their price range OOP. She's insisting that we stay over a weekend, which uses more points. She's a middle school principal and feels that the superintendent wouldn't give her a whole school week off.

So she calls me last weekend to say that her in laws have decided to come too, AND they've already bought airfare! They're just going to stay in the room w/ her family. I said that first, I didn't think that was legal since DN is 4. Second, there weren't two beds, just a bed and pull out couch. She says "well can't we just pay a little more and get a bigger room?" So I explain DVC to her again and that since we're staying over a weekend, that drained our points. If we stayed Sun-Thurs, we'd have enough points to cover 3 rooms.

I've been on the rent/trade board looking for someone to rent points from, but the price per point is almost double what we're charging SIL and she doesn't think her ILs can afford it. This is just so frustrating because I love SIL, she's DD's guardian if something happens to DH and I, clearly our favorite of his 7 siblings. I was so excited about this trip and now it's turning into a big pita.

How do you keep your sanity when renting points to family? Thanks for letting me vent!

[disney1990]

If it were me, I would be directing the inlaws over to All Stars or to Pop Century where they can actually afford a room at Disney.

[Louiepipbgeeco]

popcorn::

[Disney Princess]

I'm so sorry! :grouphug: Family is one of life's biggest mysteries - you love them, and yet they can cause the most grief.

I would probably tell her that they can't stay in the room with her as they would be over limit which will mess up EMH (no room ID) and the dining plan if you do it. Furthermore, I'd explain that YOU don't want to be in trouble for HER breaking the rules. I would kindly say "because of the time of year we've chosen, the type of room, and the days of the week, we don't have enough points to treat his parents as well. If they would like to come, here are the options." Then tell them that they can rent (give pricing) and explain the values, mods, etc. If they are onsite SOMEWHERE, you can still meet up together each day for your park touring and dining quite easily as everyone will have the transportation available. Also, everyone might want a separate space to themselves during the week for breaks. :rolleyes1

If that doesn't help, then I'd say, well we can get three rooms if we change to XYZ. Maybe a different room view, dates, etc. Leave it in her court that you are willing to work with what you have and now she needs to be flexible in her demands.

Hang in there! It'll work out. :hug:

[Dean]

When DH and I bought in at BLT in July we were so excited because that meant we could start helping family and friends take cheaper vacations but stay at nicer resorts. SIL (DH's sister) is driving me crazy. At first she was really excited that she, her husband and our niece could stay at AKV. DN LOVES giraffes. I mean LOVES. Rack rate for when we're going would put AKL way out of their price range OOP. She's insisting that we stay over a weekend, which uses more points. She's a middle school principal and feels that the superintendent wouldn't give her a whole school week off.

So she calls me last weekend to say that her in laws have decided to come too, AND they've already bought airfare! They're just going to stay in the room w/ her family. I said that first, I didn't think that was legal since DN is 4. Second, there weren't two beds, just a bed and pull out couch. She says "well can't we just pay a little more and get a bigger room?" So I explain DVC to her again and that since we're staying over a weekend, that drained our points. If we stayed Sun-Thurs, we'd have enough points to cover 3 rooms.

I've been on the rent/trade board looking for someone to rent points from, but the price per point is almost double what we're charging SIL and she doesn't think her ILs can afford it. This is just so frustrating because I love SIL, she's DD's guardian if something happens to DH and I, clearly our favorite of his 7 siblings. I was so excited about this trip and now it's turning into a big pita.

How do you keep your sanity when renting points to family? Thanks for letting me vent!Same old story it seems from other's experiences in this area. What gets me is how people are willing to take advantage of other friends and family without thinking anything about it. I'm guessing this is not the first similar thoughtless action you've seen from your SIL. Hopefully her brother (your spouse) is stepping up or at the very least not making things worse. I'm not sure why you're killing yourself in this situation, I'd put it back on them. One thing you might consider offering is to have them pay cash for the weekend nights for all of them (2 villas) then you can use the points you've already allotted for the rest. Somehow though I suspect they'll have other issues along the way but I hope I'm wrong for your sake.

[StitchFan73]

First let me say you don't owe it to anyone to make yourself crazy. But if you are looking for a solution that involves everyone, perhaps if you take you niece in your room. Then SIL parents can stay with her and your DD has her cousin to have fun sleepovers with.

Just throwing it out there. Sorry for your frustration.:)

[quentina]

Although I don't think this is something you should have to do considering your generosity, my thoughts would be to see if you could get a value room. A valus 2 bedroom is less than a savannah view 1 bedroom.

I am not sure if you are in a studio............then that wouldn't help.

Otherwise, good luck.

[crisi]

"I'm sorry, they can't stay in our room because we'll be over the occupancy limit. You'd hate to see my DVC privledges suspended, I'm sure. All my points for my timeshare are used - I don't have any to spare. They will need to pay cash somewhere else. I'm sorry, you really should have checked with me before they booked airfare."

(They won't suspend them, but she doesn't need to know that).

Do not offer to pay for a room or help them rent points or even suggest a resort for them.

[Minniemama350]

I think if it were me I would come up with two scenerios that are do-able and let SIL choose the one she thinks is best. That way, you are really still in control(as you should be) even though she may feel she made the decision. It sounds like your options are pretty clear: either stay during the week or her folks are on their own. I would be very clear about not letting extra people stay in her room and why that cannot happen(maybe you already have).

[robertdangelo]

I feel your pain! I don't like it when you give an inch and they take a mile.

[dianeschlicht]

You need to be firm about the occupancy thing and make suggestions for her in-laws. I'd probably suggest they try for one of the value resort deals (since they are doing the extra free days now) and make sure you play the "we don't want to get our membership into trouble" card big enough so they are scared to go over the occupancy. Sure, it will mean her in-laws will be in a different resort, but if they aren't going to pay the price, then they'll have to pay the inconvenience.

[smjj]

It took 2+ years to get all things settled for our upcoming family trip. I actually read many stories here on the DIS about the pitfalls of others family trips and took them into account planning ours. Hope all works out for you...smjj

[DenLo]

I think you have to admit your SIL is taking advantage of your generosity. Since it was her decision to move the dates from the week days to the weekend, there should be consequences. I think you need to move your reservation to a resort with cheaper points so you are not spending anymore points than you planned. And tell her this change has to be done since she changed the dates. Also tell her that since she wants her in-laws to come, they need to buy the points to stay in their own room.

If you don't set your SIL straight now she will continue to do whatever she wants with your points in the future.

[pilgrimr]

I would have been upset with them buying tickets w/out talking to me first about whether it was possible to add the in-laws.

One option you might think about doing is adding the niece to your room, but still have her sleep w/ sil room (have them bring a sleeping bag and she can sleep on floor).

Other than that I would tell her that these are the points that she has available and that she has to make it work even if it means making some hard decisions like moving to a different resort w/ cheaper points or doing a value room at AKV. If she really has her heart set on it, then you need to direct her to where she can rent the points to make it happen.

I know you want to help her and her family have a great time, and that is very understandable. We also got DVC so we can have family come with us. But I don't think your sil understands or appreciates what it takes to schedule a room.

Good luck and I hope you are able to have a great time.

[Shleedogg]

I did tell her that they couldn't have that many people in the room. I then also explained to her that besides not being allowed, it would be very uncomfortable since there's just one bed and one pullout couch. She now is of the mindset that they need two rooms.

We're actually already staying in a value studio at AKV, plus borrowing 6 points from next year (we already took a trip in Nov and used some points at AKV). So, there's no way to downgrade the room any more. I called member services this morning, no more value studios for the length of our stay. There's a standard view studio at Kidani and a savannah view studio at Jambo. I told her those were her two options and the prices or she could just book another resort on her own and pay cash and I wouldn't be offended at all.

DH is on my side, love him! :love: He's definitely not trying to bend over backwards for his sister, it's all me, lol. We do feel like SIL is really ungrateful considering she was going to be paying about $85/night for AKV. Rack rate is over $300 for the time we're going. She's acting like we're inconveniencing her. She decided fly out a day early, without checking with me, and was annoyed that she'd have to stay at a value and move or pay the full price for the AK room. We're both hoping she'll take the out we gave her and book a room at a value with her in-laws. When I was on the phone w/ member services I checked on availability at BLT, they had a studio available. So if they go value, we're going home!

Thanks for the advice and letting me vent! Has anyone actually brought family successfully? lol. Maybe we should write out an explanation of DVC for family members coming along and make sure they understand before we make a reservation in the future.

[LSchrow]

Has anyone actually brought family successfully? .

yup, but i think we're one of the few lucky ones ;)
i told sil everything in detail before i booked the room the first time, & informed her that they would have to pay if there were any additional charges for changes to room size, view (bwv), dates, etc.
i'll absorb up to about $100, anything over that, they pay (i don't tell her i've absorbed some costs, just that if they don't pay for any changes, i can't book them a room anymore....said with love & a smile of course:)).

i told db & dsil that i won't jeopardize my other trips with dh and/or dd (by not having enough points), so all plans need to be firm before i make the first call to ms. we've been booking their every other year trips for the past ten years, reminding them every year of the "rules" & haven't had a problem (yet;))
good luck

[Lynne M]

Maybe we should write out an explanation of DVC for family members coming along and make sure they understand before we make a reservation in the future.

I think that's a fabulous idea for anyone thinking about inviting family or friends. It can be done in a humorous way to keep things friendly, but it's so important for guests to understand the basics of DVC's workings, and that there can be a real cost to you (in real money, or lost future vacations) if they screw things up.

There have been so many horror stories on these boards about family trips gone wrong, and in so many cases, it's been because of a misconception that you stay free when you own DVC, or that it's like owning a vacation home, where there's tons of space, and it's available any time you (or they) want to use it.

I'm still reeling over her inviting additional people along without asking you. Oh, my. That'd get her on my DVC blacklist for all time...no more invites for her.

[dianeschlicht]

Has anyone actually brought family successfully? lol. Maybe we should write out an explanation of DVC for family members coming along and make sure they understand before we make a reservation in the future.
Yes, we bring both family and friends along all the time, and while we sometimes have a few minor glitches, it has usually gone very well. I always explain right at the beginning, that there will be NO changes to the plans once the dates are set. This includes extra folks (unless there is room in the occupancy rules) and extra nights or dates. If they can't agree to the nigh ts I provide, then it's up to them to pay their own way for the additional. I have had one group do that for a night, but there was no hard feelings about it, because they knew up front they had to do that. The key is preparing the guests for what DVC is and what it means. They have to realize it is NOT the same as booking a room from CRO.

Do you think perhaps your low price to them had them thinking it was "no big deal" to add people?

When we invite folks, it is our treat. That way they don't feel they have any right to "change" things around. If they do...they get to pay the OOP price from CRO.

[culli]

No good deed shall go unpunished

[Deb & Bill]

Yes, we bring both family and friends along all the time, and while we sometimes have a few minor glitches, it has usually gone very well. I always explain right at the beginning, that there will be NO changes to the plans once the dates are set. This includes extra folks (unless there is room in the occupancy rules) and extra nights or dates. If they can't agree to the nigh ts I provide, then it's up to them to pay their own way for the additional. I have had one group do that for a night, but there was no hard feelings about it, because they knew up front they had to do that. The key is preparing the guests for what DVC is and what it means. They have to realize it is NOT the same as booking a room from CRO.

Do you think perhaps your low price to them had them thinking it was "no big deal" to add people?

When we invite folks, it is our treat. That way they don't feel they have any right to "change" things around. If they do...they get to pay the OOP price from CRO.

We've done our trips with family and friends like Diane. No cost to them, but they are at our mercy for dates, times, resort. If they want to cut the trip short, that's fine, we can use the space. We only invite the grateful ones who either provide a dinner or two or when our son was little kept him for the evening while Bill & I had a night out alone.

But, then again, we never bought with the intention of bringing anyone but just the three of us.

[bobbiwoz]

We have brought family and friends successfully. Once a DF cancelled, but it was family emergency realted, and in no way reflected my DF's wishes. I feel I "owe" her one, and am giving her the opportunity to join me and DSis in March.

I hope it works out for the OP in a satisfactory manner for her. We do not charge family or friends, and if anyone insisted, I would direct them to the rent trade board and stay out of it.

Bobbi:goodvibes

[5forDiz]

At most as a possible solution to the maximum occupancy issue I'd list your niece on your room but have her sleep in her parent's room and let them figure out who is going to use blowup mattress or sleeping bag; I'm sure she is a lovely child but you and your family deserve the privacy and space of your own room so I wouldn't put her up in your room. Let your SIL and BroIL review the Rent/Trade board and work out renting points and working with that owner etc. if they want an extra DVC room for his parents; it will probably be a very enlightening experience for them and can probably help avoid a situation like this in the future should you decide to have them join your family DVC'ing....but of course tell them you are available to answer any questions they may have in regards to the rental process :littleangel:

I'm sure you'll have a wonderful trip but the important thing imho is to not alter the plans for you and your family in order to better accommodate what they decided to go ahead and do without checking with you beforehand. We often invite extended family and friends along and have had some situations.....that being said, it hasn't been anything drastic enough to deter us from continuing to do it but like others here have posted we too haven't made them pay anything towards the accommodations so maybe that's helped us in avoiding a more complex situation arising with our guests.

:goodvibes

[crisi]

We've taken family and friends - there are always minor glitches, but like others, we set the dates in advance with "we'd like you to join us" and spell out the terms when the offer is made. Such as "these dates are firm" and "this will be the room you are in." We don't charge our guests either, but I don't think there is anything wrong with charging them, if they understand the terms up front. We also try and keep alternate plan in mind - when my sister dropped from a family trip, it just meant my kids didn't have to sleep on the hideabed.

[Donna M]

We've taken family a few times without any problems. We are fortunate enough that we have 500 points so we have flexibility with accommodations. But we tell them when we are going and they can or can't make that date. We pick the resort and size unit. If they don't like it then they don't have to join us. It's free for them so they haven't complained!

All I say is we're going to Disney and my sister says sure. (She knows the invite is the next sentence.) She isn't even interested in the dates.

[robinb]

At most as a possible solution to the maximum occupancy issue I'd list your niece on your room but have her sleep in her parent's room and let them figure out who is going to use blowup mattress or sleeping bag; I'm sure she is a lovely child but you and your family deserve the privacy and space of your own room so I wouldn't put her up in your room. Let your SIL and BroIL review the Rent/Trade board and work out renting points and working with that owner etc. if they want an extra DVC room for his parents; it will probably be a very enlightening experience for them and can probably help avoid a situation like this in the future should you decide to have them join your family DVC'ing....but of course tell them you are available to answer any questions they may have in regards to the rental process :littleangel:I agree with 5forDiz. Just add your niece to your room so she can do EMH and let them cram themselves into the room. Sure, it's against the rules but they made their blow-up mattress bed and now they need to lay in it. If your SIL is now convinced that she needs a 2nd room for her inlaws then that is her problem. I wouldn't get involved any more than showing her the DVC rent/trade board. She can also find someone to rent to her for her first night and connect the two reservations. Another option (if you're felling generous) would be for you to foot the bill for a 1 BR for as many days as you have already allocated points for the studio and have them pick up the other nights on the rent/trade board and connect the two reservations. 5 people is "legal" in all 1 BR except the Value ones.

[photobob]

I don't think most understand how DVC works which makes it difficult to plan trips with those aren't aware of how far in advance planning must be made or don't seem to understand.

I took my son and his then fiance (now my DDIL!) with us in June 2008 and really had to make sure the dates I had planned would work with them and gave her the firm date I HAD to know by so we could make reservations. Everything went beautifully and we had the best trip ever. Bearing in mind there were just five of us, DW, DD and me plus my son and future wife, even with that few and us staying in a 2 bedroom it took tedious planning. I can't imagine trying to pull off multiple rooms with multiple parties, at least not with DVC. We did it pre-DVC with more people involved, but not since.

[spiceycat]

well don't bring them - they go when they can - just using my DVC points.

before it was fine - my family (right now ME) and my brother's family - now with my niece and nephew out on their own - can see problems.

especially when they all want to go to WDW.

of course could be mean - since retired can go anytime now!!!

[JimMIA]

"I'm sorry, they can't stay in our room because we'll be over the occupancy limit. You'd hate to see my DVC privledges suspended, I'm sure. All my points for my timeshare are used - I don't have any to spare. They will need to pay cash somewhere else. I'm sorry, you really should have checked with me before they booked airfare."

(They won't suspend them, but she doesn't need to know that).

Do not offer to pay for a room or help them rent points or even suggest a resort for them. This beautifully sums up my feelings on OP's particular issue. "Sorry outlaws...your bad, not mine!"

I also would not go through a bunch of gyrations covering their tails so they can be over occupancy in a villa reserved with my points!

[dburg30]

I did tell her that they couldn't have that many people in the room. I then also explained to her that besides not being allowed, it would be very uncomfortable since there's just one bed and one pullout couch. She now is of the mindset that they need two rooms.

We're actually already staying in a value studio at AKV, plus borrowing 6 points from next year (we already took a trip in Nov and used some points at AKV). So, there's no way to downgrade the room any more. I called member services this morning, no more value studios for the length of our stay. There's a standard view studio at Kidani and a savannah view studio at Jambo. I told her those were her two options and the prices or she could just book another resort on her own and pay cash and I wouldn't be offended at all.

DH is on my side, love him! :love: He's definitely not trying to bend over backwards for his sister, it's all me, lol. We do feel like SIL is really ungrateful considering she was going to be paying about $85/night for AKV. Rack rate is over $300 for the time we're going. She's acting like we're inconveniencing her. She decided fly out a day early, without checking with me, and was annoyed that she'd have to stay at a value and move or pay the full price for the AK room. We're both hoping she'll take the out we gave her and book a room at a value with her in-laws. When I was on the phone w/ member services I checked on availability at BLT, they had a studio available. So if they go value, we're going home!

Thanks for the advice and letting me vent! Has anyone actually brought family successfully? lol. Maybe we should write out an explanation of DVC for family members coming along and make sure they understand before we make a reservation in the future.
The first bold part all I can say is, Thank GOODNESS, I've read others where a sibling doesnt stick up for their spouse, but for their sibling :confused3

And the 2nd bold, seriously?? She honestly just thinks you can magically have an extra night somehow, especially without even mentioning it??

Wow.. well all I can do is :grouphug: And say you are one :littleangel:

[Dean]

Has anyone actually brought family successfully? lol.Many times, almost every summer since 1998. Had 35 people in Gatlinburg 2 summers ago, doing DVC next Sept with 20 or so people the way it's looking now and HH this coming June with about 25-30 people. I decide when, who's invited, etc. I have rules and if you want to come when we're going AND follow the rules, you can come. I provide the accommodations at my expense but try to control it with timeshares. We have yet to have any significant conflict associated with these issues. IMO, most of the issues happen in certain situations, when you knew the people were problems anyway and tried to fool yourself into thinking it would be OK this time, when people don't understand timeshares and assume they're free and when the planner tries to work around everyone else's schedule and situation. I think those of us who are ultra planners can sometimes put people off that don't "get it" both for Disney and otherwise though. The group above with 35 was really 3 groups in one and it could not have worked better including that we as the link were able to spread ourselves among each segment and bring the different factions together just the right amount.

The rules are fairly simple and go something like this.

You don't wait on me, I don't wait on you.
Here's when we're going, you're welcome to come, here's how much space you'll likely have.
Everyone shares in the common expenses, mostly groceries.
There will be a group meal, you're expected to attend.
There will be an occasional alcohoic beverage but there will NOT be any unruly behavior related.
If the rules aren't OK, don't go.

We've also been lucky though my brother comes closest to pushing it because they are just poor planners and don't seem to be able to think of others situation. If anyone gets on the naughty list not to be invited, I'm sure it'll be him.

[calypso726]

We've done it successfully with family and with friends. I thoroughly explained how DVC works. A year before the trip, I proposed the dates and gave a time frame of a couple of weeks to let me know if the dates worked for everyone and then book at the 11 month window. I told everyone that once reservations were made NO changes could be made period the end :laughing: If somone can not take the trip and needs to cancel the deadline to let me know without seeing me lose my temper :mad: would be 2 months before the trip (give myself a cushion there). If not, then I would fully expect to be compensated for the points I can't get back and give them CRO rates for the same type room :lmao: Hmmm so far no late cancellations. Everyone gets a picture itinerary of where DH and I will be and what WE will be doing each day including cute invitations to the ADR's. They are told that they are welcome to come along and follow our game plan or do their own thing. I do warn them if they do their own thing I will not listen to complaints of long lines and every restaurant being booked solid and no where to eat, but if they choose to come with us then there will be no need for such complaints :rotfl2: So far no one has opted to do their own thing and everyone we have taken has told us it was their best Disney Vacation which I consider high praise seeing as well ALL live in Florida and have been many times!

[crisi]

Is anyone but me agast over inviting your husband's sister - only to be told HER HUSBAND'S PARENTS are coming along on your vacation.

I cannot imagine - in my wildest dreams - having my sister invite us somewhere, and inviting my husband's family along without talking to her first. Or that they would invite themselves along under those circumstances.

[dianeschlicht]

Is anyone but me agast over inviting your husband's sister - only to be told HER HUSBAND'S PARENTS are coming along on your vacation.

I cannot imagine - in my wildest dreams - having my sister invite us somewhere, and inviting my husband's family along without talking to her first. Or that they would invite themselves along under those circumstances.

I totally agree. I think it's the height of rudness to assume you could invite others along. I really think part of these issues are because they are renting the points out to the sister instead of just inviting them along. In that case, it's probably an "anything goes" mentality, since the sister still percieves she is "paying" for a trip. It's one of the reasons we invite folks along and then provide the room....there are NO QUESTIONS about who is going.

[robinb]

I totally agree. I think it's the height of rudness to assume you could invite others along. I really think part of these issues are because they are renting the points out to the sister instead of just inviting them along. In that case, it's probably an "anything goes" mentality, since the sister still percieves she is "paying" for a trip. It's one of the reasons we invite folks along and then provide the room....there are NO QUESTIONS about who is going.Well ... since the SIL is renting the points from the OP she IS paying for the trip and can invite anyone she wants to share her room within occupancy rules. The main problem here is that the SIL has overloaded her room with too many people.

[crisi]

I totally agree. I think it's the height of rudness to assume you could invite others along. I really think part of these issues are because they are renting the points out to the sister instead of just inviting them along. In that case, it's probably an "anything goes" mentality, since the sister still percieves she is "paying" for a trip. It's one of the reasons we invite folks along and then provide the room....there are NO QUESTIONS about who is going.

Even when its an "everyone pays their own way" vacation, you don't add to the guest list without checking with the people already invited - particularly the trip coordinator.

[Shleedogg]

If there we no occupancy issues, I honestly would be fine with them coming. They are really nice people. My problem was just that they booked airfare and just assumed that it would be no problem to add them.

I talked to SIL last night and she's going to book them a room at a value and I'm going to keep an eye on the rent/trade board for the price they're looking for (which I don't think I'll find, unfortunately.)

All is well now that I candidly (but nicely) told SIL how difficult it would be. She understands and says that they just want to go and don't care where they stay. Thanks for the place to let me vent my frustrations. I did learn a lot over the last few days and will know what to do/not to do in the future re: family.

[bandjbaine]

I've done 2 successful family trips- one with 1, 2BR- lot's of folks stuffed in and one with 2, 2BR and a studio. All went well...Similar theme as to why..

1) Explained "We are planning a trip, we would love if you could come along.
Here are the dates we are going. If you want to go let me know by x and if you have to cancel I need to know by x or i will pay a cancel fee."
I had already considered the back up plan for someone cancelling at the last minute. I had thought of worse case scenario and what we would do if we had holding points- I was set to be OK with that if it came to be ( though same friends/family would not have been invited back!). We were fortunate- no one backed out or tried to change a thing.

2) We treated everyone ( though we had lots of meals, tickets, etc purchased for us while we were there).

3) I planned a family event each day but told everyone given the size of the
groups it would be best for everyone to "tour" on their own and then gather together in the evening (if they chose to- no big deal if they didn't want to). Some came along with us, but were wanting to follow our touring plans to the tee. I learned that from the first trip- too many people make touring slow and impossible- one going to the restroom, other in the gift shop, other

[robinb]

I talked to SIL last night and she's going to book them a room at a value and I'm going to keep an eye on the rent/trade board for the price they're looking for (which I don't think I'll find, unfortunately.)Give your SIL the address to the rent/trade board and let her put in a request at the price she wants to pay. I wouldn't waste any time looking for her.

[dianeschlicht]

If there we no occupancy issues, I honestly would be fine with them coming. They are really nice people. My problem was just that they booked airfare and just assumed that it would be no problem to add them.

I talked to SIL last night and she's going to book them a room at a value and I'm going to keep an eye on the rent/trade board for the price they're looking for (which I don't think I'll find, unfortunately.)

All is well now that I candidly (but nicely) told SIL how difficult it would be. She understands and says that they just want to go and don't care where they stay. Thanks for the place to let me vent my frustrations. I did learn a lot over the last few days and will know what to do/not to do in the future re: family.

If you're okay with them inviting others and they are okay with staying within the occupancy limits, then it looks like all's well that ends well. It's just not something I would ever expect from guests. Now I have invited others along last minute too, but it was my reservation and my points. We once had the 4 of us going in a 2 bedroom and we invited a recently divorced friend and her 14 year old son to come along to help cheer them up. Sure we were croweded with 6 of us in an OKW 2 bedroom, but well within the occupancy limits and we were so glad we made the jesture.

I hope you all have a GREAT trip!:thumbsup2

[nickspace]

We are taking family to HH but everyone gets their own unit and we are using the cash discount instead of points. That way our points are not drained and they are responsible to pay for their own unit when they check in.

[rentayenta]

How do you keep your sanity when renting points to family? Thanks for letting me vent!



:goodvibes


I would not rent to family or friends but I would offer for them to join us.

I like robinb's idea the best!!!!!! :thumbsup2

[kikiq]

We've taken one big family trip and thanks to the wonderful DISers here, I booked a 2 bdrm and 1 studios instead of a grand villa for 12 people. At the last minute my brother's fil went into the hospital and they had to cancel. I could have then canceled the studio but my DDs decided that they needed private space from the rest of the family and used it. It was close to perfect except for my other brother not being able to come.

We picked the time because of my school schedule. They booked their own air and bought their tickets. We provided the room, they paid for everything else and in our time frame. Maybe our families are use to vacationing together, no one would even think to ask to change the dates once the primary planner had set the wheels in motion. Sort of like "We're going to be here on these dates and if you would like to join us, here is the info...where we're staying and IF there is room for them, flights we're taking and where they can get tickets".

But to be honest, we are limited by the number of points we have. And I don't think my DH is going to give up his Disney fix to have family with us too often.

[ppony]

OP, I'm SOOOO glad your DH is on your side. I FEAR brining family along for this reason among others. Honestly, the larger a group gets, the more concessions I/we/our family needs to make and I'm just not wliling to make them. Of course, with the ownership in DVC comes the generosity in us and I have mentioned to my BIL and my SIL about it. I worry about the pickle that could get us into but we'll see. Next year we'll bring my mom and she's already a bit of a handful, but I feel sorry for her. She never gets vacations because my father won't ALLOW her to leave or spend a dime on herself. :mad:

I'm SO sorry your SIL is being insanely ungrateful and demanding. This is YOUR property, not theirs and it is yours to use as you see fit. She must have encouraged her other inlaws to come w/o your knowledge for them to even book. Seriously, who does that!?!??! I hope you can draw the line and keep your arrangement as it was and THEY will have to make their own arrangements. I hope your DH will step in and put his foot down.

BIG hugs for you. I hope this all works out...SOON for your sake. :flower3:

[Disney Princess]

Is anyone but me agast over inviting your husband's sister - only to be told HER HUSBAND'S PARENTS are coming along on your vacation.

I cannot imagine - in my wildest dreams - having my sister invite us somewhere, and inviting my husband's family along without talking to her first. Or that they would invite themselves along under those circumstances.

Actually, the first time I read the post I thought the sister invited her own parents - the mutual grandparents to the two little girls. My first thought was that it was awkward that the SIL did the inviting, but then I realized it isn't even the mutual grandparents.

I do find it "strange" just because I am picturing the situation in my family with my husband's sister wondering what I would feel/think/do. I have come to realize that many people (family included ;)) do things I would never dream of doing.

I am so happy the OP has the situation resolved in a way that makes everyone happy. I hope it turns out to be a great trip!

[Dean]

Is anyone but me agast over inviting your husband's sister - only to be told HER HUSBAND'S PARENTS are coming along on your vacation.

I cannot imagine - in my wildest dreams - having my sister invite us somewhere, and inviting my husband's family along without talking to her first. Or that they would invite themselves along under those circumstances.I agree, it's plan rude. That was one of the main reasons I wondered if this was the first issue between the OP and the SIL. Fortunately it's working out without major issues and there doesn't appear to be the major personality issues that I feared after reading the original posts.

As I hinted above, many people have different ideas about timeshares and vacations in geneal and they are often very wrong. Many assume a timeshare is free once you have bought it and therefore even charging them a fraction of the actual cost can be seen by some as taking advantage of them. That's not the reason I do family trips all on my dime for accommodations but it is a reason I would not rent to family/friends unless they first came to me and I was very comfortable they knew exactly what they were getting into and the true and actual benefit involved.

[Coach81]

:laughing:Gotta love family

[StitchFan73]

If there we no occupancy issues, I honestly would be fine with them coming. They are really nice people. My problem was just that they booked airfare and just assumed that it would be no problem to add them.

I talked to SIL last night and she's going to book them a room at a value and I'm going to keep an eye on the rent/trade board for the price they're looking for (which I don't think I'll find, unfortunately.)

All is well now that I candidly (but nicely) told SIL how difficult it would be. She understands and says that they just want to go and don't care where they stay. Thanks for the place to let me vent my frustrations. I did learn a lot over the last few days and will know what to do/not to do in the future re: family.

I am really glad it's all working out in a way that's good for you. Vacation should not be stressful, but family can drive you crazy like no one else;)

Have a great time!

P.S. I do agree with Robin as well-direct them to the rent/trade board and let them do the work. It might make them a bit more appreciative of how hard planning something like this can be;)

[dmoore22]

"Familiarity breeds contempt, --- and children." Mark Twain

[BroganMc]

I talked to SIL last night and she's going to book them a room at a value and I'm going to keep an eye on the rent/trade board for the price they're looking for (which I don't think I'll find, unfortunately.)

All is well now that I candidly (but nicely) told SIL how difficult it would be. She understands and says that they just want to go and don't care where they stay. Thanks for the place to let me vent my frustrations. I did learn a lot over the last few days and will know what to do/not to do in the future re: family.

I'm glad to hear that. When I read your OP I was having major deja vu from my issues trying to arrange a trip for me and my siblings last year. Not everyone understood the complexities of DVC membership and travel preferences. My SILs were more concerned about their kids' school schedules and pushing for summer and I'm so used to travelling off-season with my semi-retired dad (who can't handle summer heat and crowds).

It did all work out in the end. The one thing I learned was to make our plans first (what worked better for my dad and I) and then give them the option of joining us. I did move it to a weekend and had to reduce room sizes and trip length, but now we're all (that's 4 families, 17 people) happy as clams to be leaving Friday.

It was a faux pas for your SIL to invite her in-laws along on your trip. That would annoy me as it seems to color the trip differently than what you envisioned. But you have to allot for a bit of Disney excitement getting the better of folks. I'm guessing when they thought of going to Disney they were so excited by the possibility they didn't use their common sense.

One thing you learn when bringing others along on trips is that everyone has a different vacationing style. If you try to force guests to go in your direction they'll make you miserable.

Also, I do not rent to anyone, especially family and friends. As soon as money changes hands things get wonky. So when I invite, I'm prepared to cover the bill. If I can't, then I resist the temptation to invite. If people want to pay, then I give them the costs and make a mental note to put them on the Preferred Guest list for next time.

Hang in there! By the time you get to the trip and especially after when you rehash the memories you'll have so much fun laughing you won't have time for the tears.

[Shleedogg]

Actually, the first time I read the post I thought the sister invited her own parents - the mutual grandparents to the two little girls. My first thought was that it was awkward that the SIL did the inviting, but then I realized it isn't even the mutual grandparents.

I do find it "strange" just because I am picturing the situation in my family with my husband's sister wondering what I would feel/think/do. I have come to realize that many people (family included ;)) do things I would never dream of doing.

I am so happy the OP has the situation resolved in a way that makes everyone happy. I hope it turns out to be a great trip!

funny you should mention that, SIL did invite the mutual grandparents! lol. That's fine with us though, we've been to WDW with them twice now. They're paying cash for their room, not counting on us to plan for them.

Because of SIL's job (middle school principal) she doesn't get to go to Disney often, so I think she's just really excited and wants everyone to be able to experience it with her family and see how much her daughter is enjoying it.

[corpcomp]

Welcome to family!

We don't tell our extended family for that exact reaon. We bought a beach house that we rent out and ended up not talking to some of them that wanted to stay there for free for the summer. There seems to be an entitlement mentality in most families that when they get a free deal from another family member, they complain about why they cannot have more.

[Disney Princess]

funny you should mention that, SIL did invite the mutual grandparents! lol. That's fine with us though, we've been to WDW with them twice now. They're paying cash for their room, not counting on us to plan for them.

Because of SIL's job (middle school principal) she doesn't get to go to Disney often, so I think she's just really excited and wants everyone to be able to experience it with her family and see how much her daughter is enjoying it.

That is too funny that she invited both sets. It does seem like she is very excited for this trip. I hope it all continues to work out.

[Shleedogg]

Welcome to family!

We don't tell our extended family for that exact reaon. We bought a beach house that we rent out and ended up not talking to some of them that wanted to stay there for free for the summer. There seems to be an entitlement mentality in most families that when they get a free deal from another family member, they complain about why they cannot have more.


We run into this ALL the time w/ DH's brothers and sisters. DH has his BS in Comp Sci and works as a CTO, so knows his computers. He's constantly being asked to come fix a computer. One brother in particular is really bad. His girls get on there and are always getting viruses on it and calling DH. Meanwhile, we live an hour away and they never say they'll bring it here, they always just assume it's no big deal to drive out there. His girls are really bad about it. They were badgering him a couple months ago, constantly calling within a 2 hr period(we only have one car so he had to wait for me to get home). I got sick of it and politely told the girls that he's busy and does have other things he has to do and they can't always be a priority. Now some in the family think I'm a witch, but I don't care, it was getting out of hand. Two brothers won't even talk to me anymore, lol. Family relations are so complicated! Thank god for forums to vent!

[BeccaG]

Has anyone actually brought family successfully? lol.

Yes but the invites were like this, "we are going on such and such dates to WDW? Want to come? If so, we will cover your room. Now this is a timeshare so I have to know by 6 months out if you won't be able to come so I don't lose money." I have never given options on the room, just booked what I felt was best for the group and its worked out all 3 times, 4th coming up in March is a little different, but I don't see any problems. . .yet :)

[Jets fan]

My sister and I own at OKW and have taken family on three occasions. Parents twice and another sisters family once. When we invited them we explained about DVC and what they could expect, what the sleeping arrangments would be etc - they knew that their son would need to sleep on the pull out bed in the lounge, so there could be no misunderstandings.

My other sister and her family booked their flights independently of us as they wanted to save money on them (so they could shop more!) so they flew indirectly. We never do this as I liked to get to Disney asap, regardless of the cost involved:rotfl:

We met up just before we could make dinner reservations and picked the restaurants we wanted to eat at. We printed off menues from about 30 Disney retaurants (we had DDP) and everybody, including the children choose where they fancied eating. We then collated the answers and booked the top 14 restaurants. This way we could all meet up for dinner every evening and go our own ways during the day, but this never really happened as we tended to stick together, except me who went to parks for a couple of hours and then caught the bus back to OKW to sun worship!

My sis and I purchased DVC simply so we could take family with us as our guests and I'm really glad we did.

All trips worked out really well and they all loved OKW simply because of the space.

Tina

[jpeka65844]

We've taken family once and will be taking friends in January. The family trip was without a hitch.

We took the IL's and DH's aunt/uncle, cousin/husband/daughter, from CO. We got 2 2-Bdrm units at WL for a Sun-Fri stay. IL's didn't pay a cent; they do so much for us that it was never a question of them paying for their room. We told our other relatives to "pay us what they thought was fair" We were NOT out to make money on this venture. It drove my DH's aunt crazy; she even went as far as calling a TA and investigating a fake trip to find out what a stay would cost. :rotfl: They wound up giving us $1K for their stay. Works out to about $40 per person per day. Not a bad deal for them. Trip was fine; only thing that bothered us was they're late risers we never seemed to get as early as a start as we would've liked.

We're taking friends in January. We've got a 2 Bdrm and a 1 Bdrm. The friends that are staying in the 2 Bdrm with us are getting it for free. Our friends in the 1 Bdrm are paying us what it would've cost them to stay at Pop. They're a family of 5 (with one infant; don't worry!!!) and were going to squeeze into one room over there. We said nu-huh; we're getting you a bigger room.

We've had nothing but good luck in sharing DVC with friends and family. I'm so sorry for the people who it doesn't work out for!!!