formal dining

[goofysgirl]

Am I the only one who doesn't think that the formal dining is such a great idea? I have two teens and one 7 year old girl to dress along with a Husband who thnks formal includes shoes and long pants. I am starting to dread going on this cruise. When we vacation we vacation, we are casual but neat. Are there any alternatives to these formal and semi formal nights? We don't want to offend those who like to dress up but I don't think I can get my husband in a tux, he wore a cut away at our wedding. I can't see buying gowns for the girls and then having to lug them with me. A disney cruise should not raise your stress level. Anyone else think the way I do?

[llachance]

Formal night is as formal as you want it to be - or not. Have seen anything and everything - just don't appreciate shorts on that night and saw that on our recent cruise. Actually saw people more dressed up for the semi-formal night which was strange to me. If you don't want to put long pants on then top siders buffet, plutos or room service are always options. On all nights other then the formal night and my dinner at Palos my family wore capris.....which I also saw on formal night. One boy was actually in shorts because his mom forgot to pack his pants! They didn't have any to fit him on the ship......do whatever your stress level will handle.

[ducklite]

Sorry, I can't agree. I ENJOY dressing up. I don't see it being at all stressful. I have a 16yo DS and my DH, both will rent tuxes which will be delivered right to the stateroom--no stress there.

If you don't want to dress up on the formal nights there are other dining options as well, including Topsiders, in room dining, and some fast food type options.

Anne

[gobnu]

You can sit next to me. I'll be the one in shorts. And no I won't be at Topsiders or getting room service. I am on VACATION and I will wear what I want when I want. What's next women having to wear hats and gloves, It's America the land of freedom and that includes clothing.

[VondaP]

We enjoy dressing up for dinner. It was the one opportunity we had to all "spiffy" up. I love the pictures we took! Now, after dinner we changed back to our "vacation" clothes and enjoyed the rest of the evening.

In all honesty, those that were not dressed up were in the minority. I do not recall seeing any shorts on either formal or semi formal nights. Actually, I did not see any shorts at any time during the dinners.

Having said that, do what makes you feel most comfortable. If you don't mind not being the "norm" then you will be fine.

We figure you have to put some clothes on anyhow, why not formal attire instead of shorts. Unless someone plans to show up naked! Just kidding.

Vonda

[Lisa F]

Oh boy, I come back from a weekend trip and the other topics are closed and a new one has started!

I just wanted to say that you shouldn't be intimidated by "dressing up." I don't think anyone will look down on you if your formal clothes don't rival that of royalty. If you plan on being neat and clean for dinner than it shouldn't be too much harder to be neat and clean and put on some nicer clothes. Your husband does NOT need to wear a tux and you and you girls do NOT need to wear gowns. A suit (which he can wear for both formal nights) would work for your husband, and any dress that you love and feel beautiful in would be fine for you and your daughters.

Lisa

[Renee']

You can sit next to me. I'll be the one in shorts. And no I won't be at Topsiders or getting room service. I am on VACATION and I will wear what I want when I want. What's next women having to wear hats and gloves, It's America the land of freedom and that includes clothing. Would this be for formal and semiformal evenings as well? Would the formal photos also be in your plans? If so, that's an interesting strategy as far as finding your pics on the photo wall in Shutters. Hmmmm..... :smooth:

You are exactly correct though. We are America. You can't dictate values, morals or class either.:rolleyes:

[goofysgirl]

Okay I did not want to start a war. I dress up 5 out of 7 days for work, Hubby wears a tie everyday. The girls will get dressed up to go to dinner when we go out, but I just think that a tux and gown is a little too much. I will find a suit for Hubby I guess and the rest of us will wing it in our finer attire. I never thought of wearing shorts, but I don't want to feel like I need to wear clothes that I don't have much use for. Thanks

[SC Minnie]

You do not need a tux for DH or gowns for you and your DD's. I wore a black cocktail dress that I had worn to a Christmas party and fit right in. I remember seeing other women in nice 'church' or work dresses. I think it was about 1/3 gowns, 1/3 cocktail type dresses, 1/3 regular dresses. Some women even wore pantsuits and they looked great.

My DD8 loved getting dressed up- she wore her 'Christmas' church dress that was bought at WalMart.

There were many men in suits- only about a 1/3 in tuxes.

The pictures you take that evening will be absolutely beautiful and you will be glad you did not wear shorts and t-shirts.

[dthogue]

I am using the formal/semi-formal night as a challenge to see how nice of a dress I can find for as little money as possible.

So far I found a long black dress with a jacket at a local JC Penney's for $25.00 on clearance. It was marked down twice and had two small pulls in the jacket so they took an additional $5 off for me. It is by no means a fancy ball gown, but I'm sure it will fit in nicely.

I also purchased a fancy off-white lace dress for my 4yo at a local consignment store that specializes in wedding/pageant attire for $7.50. I plan on shopping the Christmas dress sales for my other 2 daughters to get their formal night dresses. My budget is pushed to the limit just paying for the cruise - I have to be careful on what we buy for the cruise!

Please don't stress the formal thing. I'm sure whatever you decide will be fine. Enjoy your cruise and have fun planning.

Tammy

[minniecarousel]

Goofysgirl - Tammy has the right idea! Try checking the consignment stores. Two of my brothers got married within a few months of each other a few years ago, and I didn't want to wear the same thing to their weddings, so off to the consignment store I went! I was very happy with my selection!
My DH does not like to dress up, but wore his summer-weight jacket to dinner on our 3-day cruises. It sounds like the guys don't need to dress up as much on the short cruises, but it also sounds like a suit or sport coat would be appropriate on the week-long cruises.
Ugh! -but don't stress about it - just don't let anyone in the family to wear shorts to dinner!

[ducklite]

Originally posted by gobnu
You can sit next to me. I'll be the one in shorts. And no I won't be at Topsiders or getting room service. I am on VACATION and I will wear what I want when I want. What's next women having to wear hats and gloves, It's America the land of freedom and that includes clothing.

While I agree with your wanting to be comfortable while on vacation, I also feel that you should also respect fellow vacationers. If the host requests formal attire, then you should respect that request as well as those around you and wear formal attire. If you choose to not do so, ther eare other options for you. You wo'nt be going hungry.

If you really think that all meals should be eaten in shorts, then maybe you might want to rethink your vacation goals, as you might be ahpier doing something other than a DCL cruise. As others have pointed out, DCL is run by Disney, but is not a theme park.

Regretfully your attitude of "I'm going to do what I want when I want because it's my right" comes across as rather rude. It makes one wonder what else you would do because you feel like it. Throw a party in your stateroom at 2:00am? Put your towels on poolside lounge chairs at 5:00am to hold them, and then decide not to swim at all that day? If you think about it, it all boils down to the same thing...having respect for others.

Anne

[ducklite]

Originally posted by goofysgirl
Okay I did not want to start a war. I dress up 5 out of 7 days for work, Hubby wears a tie everyday. The girls will get dressed up to go to dinner when we go out, but I just think that a tux and gown is a little too much. I will find a suit for Hubby I guess and the rest of us will wing it in our finer attire. I never thought of wearing shorts, but I don't want to feel like I need to wear clothes that I don't have much use for. Thanks

You would be fine on formal and semiformal nights putting your husband and sons in suits--they do'nt need tuxes. JC Penney's often has boys dress clothes on sale for bargain basement prices. I just picked up a set there--dress pants, shirt, tie, and vest--for my friends son for $14.99!

As far as the ladies, "Sunday best" would certainly work. Wear the same clothes that you'd wear to a wedding or funeral.

Anne

[Luckymommyx2]

ducklite

Well said!!! I couldn't agree with you more!!

[CamColt]

Here we go again!:rolleyes:

Its only common courtesy, decency & class, in any situation, to adhere to your hosts requests. If its too tough to do so, then dont attend the event. Part of the cruise experience is the elegance of the ship and its passengers(at least for dinner). If someone doesnt want to dress appropriately, or do the alternatives, then they should rethink their plans.

Renee, good point! On our recent cruise we were in Shutters looking for our picture that was taken at Tritons. While I wasnt examining everyone, it was obvious most men were wearing jackets, or ties, and everyone looked dressed up. Then I came across one of a man in a tshirt and that one REALLY stood out. Did it bother me during dinner? No. But you can be sure my DH wouldnt be showing up like that, or at least I wouldnt be with him if he did. ;) How embarrasing! :eek:

[peg2001]

Personally, we will abide by the "no shorts, no jeans" request from Disney in the dining rooms and my DDs always enjoy putting on pretty little dresses. However, I am puzzled by the concern over what other people wear. My tablemates can show up in their jammies and fuzzy slippers and as long as they are clean, neat, and polite, I wouldn't care. I am even less concerned with what people at other tables are wearing.

Does it affect your enjoyment of your meal if someone else isn't dressed to code?

Peg

[gobnu]

I have always wondered if it wasn't the socially inadequate people who were trying to cover their insecurities by wearing formal clothes and demanding that others do the same.

Personally, I can't see how the way anyone else dresses would affect my vacation. Someone wearing jeans and a t-shirt to a formal dinner isn't going to bother me.... why would it bother you? Is your happiness so dependent on such a trivial thing as what other people wear?

A person's behavior is more likely to bother me. After, you can put a pig in a dress... but you still have a pig, don't you?

[ducklite]

Originally posted by peg2001
Personally, we will abide by the "no shorts, no jeans" request from Disney in the dining rooms and my DDs always enjoy putting on pretty little dresses. However, I am puzzled by the concern over what other people wear. My tablemates can show up in their jammies and fuzzy slippers and as long as they are clean, neat, and polite, I wouldn't care. I am even less concerned with what people at other tables are wearing.

Does it affect your enjoyment of your meal if someone else isn't dressed to code?

Peg

I am hoping for some wonderful photo's from the cruise, especially on formal night. So in a nutshell, yes, if I end up sitting with people who choose to dress like they are ready to clean the garage, it will affect my enjoyment.

Anne

[Fawn]

Of course it will not bother me nor affect my vacation no matter what the "other guy" wears to dinner.

As for me and mine, tho, we will have enough class and social decorum to abide by our host's wishes!

[ducklite]

Originally posted by gobnu
I have always wondered if it wasn't the socially inadequate people who were trying to cover their insecurities by wearing formal clothes and demanding that others do the same.

Personally, I can't see how the way anyone else dresses would affect my vacation. Someone wearing jeans and a t-shirt to a formal dinner isn't going to bother me.... why would it bother you? Is your happiness so dependent on such a trivial thing as what other people wear?

A person's behavior is more likely to bother me. After, you can put a pig in a dress... but you still have a pig, don't you?

To me not dressing appropriately for an occaision falls into the same category of lighting up a cigarette in a non-smoking home, or using the front door instead of the side door that you've been asked to use because "you feel like it". You have been requested to do something by your host, and you should abide by their wishes or decline the invitation. Common courtesy, that's all. So I equate ignoring the hosts requests with a lack of common courtesy.

Anne

[Renee']

A person's behavior is more likely to bother me. After, you can put a pig in a dress... but you still have a pig, don't you? Yes, but you would have a literate pig (one who can read what is requested of them), a considerate pig (one who not only cares about their own appearance but considers those around them) and a respectful pig. Now on the other hand. Those who show up to the ball in shorts and a tee may have their "right to dress as they please" but they can't claim the same social graces as that pig can...you know, considerate and respectful.

As far as that shorts wearing cruiser goes. If he's seated anywhere near it will simply set an example for me to show to my children - what's appropriate and how not to dress. You can use that as a visual aid when explaining the proper dress for weddings, nicer restaurants, church, etc. Proper education can take place everywhere - even the cruise.

[4nana]

IMO I think Disney does an excellent job w/suggested dress and trying to please everyone. I do understand those, like some of our family members, who feel vacation is just that - a vacation and just want to unwind, relax and leave the dress clothes at home. They dress up every day or have to wear a uniform and do not want to have to do it on vacation. However, we are all excited at the opportunity to attend the formal, not to mention a wonderful chance to get our family portrait done. Any nite we want to do shorts we'll be happy to do an alternative such as Topsiders, fast food or room service ;)

[VondaP]

Yes, the way other people dress can affect my vacation. If, I am unlucky enough to be sitting next to a man that decides he can wear whatever he wants to dinner and chooses to show up in a tank top. The sight of his arm pit hairs would churn my stomach. I worry about the folks that have the "it's my vacation, I'll do what I want" attitude. Could they be the ones that will "save" pool chairs etc. and make it difficult for other cruisers? It's the attitude I worry about more.

I am not saying that everyone falls into this category. But, if you want to dress like you would at McDonalds, then go to McDonalds!.

Vonda

[taswira]

The reason the attire of the guests around me matters is that they BECOME part of the "experience" by being part of the atmosphere. If I wanted my vacation to be entirely tee shirts and shorts, I would go camping (which I sometimes do). The opportunity to dress up and enjoy a fine dining experience with other guests IS part of the "itinerary" of a DCL cruise. If you don't like the itinerary of a trip, wouldn't it make sense to choose a different trip? Just MHO, but to openly defy the host's request for dressier attire and to show up in shorts is disrespectful of host and guests, pollutes the atmosphere for those who do see you, and indeed sets an example of "what not to be." As for one's "right" to wear what they please - America is a land of freedom, but it thankfully is NOT a land with "no rules."

[fumipappa]

I am Japanese, not American, so I am always laughing when I encountered these arguments.

As I said, I am Japanese, so I am not used to wear any formal wear.(we don't dress up that much, except my own wedding, I haev Never worn any tuxedo). But if I go to these formal wear party/dinner. I feel i should wear something formal because it is "APPROPRIATE".

Somebody mentioned as "I wear whatever I want because this is my vacation."
This logic always reminds me the advice from my course counselor when I was in school in US.

he told me : "Don't make a rule, follow the rule"

Here is my point. I don't think Disney is saying that you have a choice to wear. They are just recommending because they cannot "prohibit" to wear informal wear. I think the people who is saying "I wear whatever I want because this is my vacation." taking advantage og Disney's guidance. Yes' they are not saying ou can't wear infomal wear, but it does not mean you can wear whatever you want. There should be always "APPROPRIATE" dress code.

[ducklite]

fumippapa-

Domo Arigato.

Your course counselor had very sage words.

Anne

[taswira]

fumippapa-

EXACTLY!

[mcnuss]

You can sit next to me. I'll be the one in shorts. And no I won't be at Topsiders or getting room service. I am on VACATION and I will wear what I want when I want. What's next women having to wear hats and gloves, It's America the land of freedom and that includes clothing.

The brochures CLEARLY tell you what dress is appropriate and what is not -- specifically it says that you cannot wear shorts in the restaurants in the evenings, so when you bought your tickets, you were on notice and you accepted their terms. Plain and simple, you made an agreement. If you choose to ignore the terms of your agreement, DCL would have every right not to seat you. They probably will, though, because they won't want to make a scene. I just hate to believe that anyone would purposely aggravate people who have come out for a good time in the name of "freedom". It just seems too trivial to equate this with the unbelievably important freedoms we enjoy as Americans.

We are going to be on vacation too. And we like to dress up. To me these are not contradictary statements. That's precisely why wecpicked the Disney cruise. If I had wanted a 100% casual environment, we would have picked a different line. Please don't wreck our good time. Please don't make me have to explain to my 8 yo why an adult would purposely break the rules. Please eat at Topsiders if you cannot bring yourself to dress up.

[rytayntigger2]

I wear a suit and tie to work everyday and I intend to spend the majority of my vacation/cruise dressed in shorts and one of my favorite Hawaiian shirts...My DW will insist that I dress in slacks and a jacket every evening for dinner...and I will reluctantly agree to do so (besides, my DD will say that I look soooo darn good!)...gobnu and goofysgirl are welcome at my table any evening wearing whatever they choose....too much fuss about so little relevance.....

[andicat]

Isn't relevance relative? Just because someone doesn't care about the environment around them while they are dining in what is supposed to be a formal situation doesn't mean others don't. Formal and semi-formal nights are supposed to be a special dress-up time, not a time to dress for a hot dog-and-burgers environment. I agree that there is too much fuss made too often on the subject of formal nights. But if all guests would be respectful enough to abide by the dress code and enjoy these evenings for what they are supposed to be instead of trying to turn them into what they as individuals think they should be, there would never be any need for discussion of this topic. The dress code for formal dinners on a nice cruise ship should never be a subject of debate. Like it or leave it, LOL.

[Mjasp]

This thread just cracks me up. I can't understand the part of this that people just don't seem to get.

It clearly states in the brochure the dress code of the restaurants. There is 1 formal night, 1 semi-formal night, 1 Tropical night and 4 casual nights in the Dining Rooms. On casual night you can wear casual clothes, Tropical Night...Tropical attire, Formal night...Formal clothes, Semi-Formal night...Semi-formal clothes. These are the attires for the evenings in the dining rooms. If you have a problem with this eat in another dining area. If you don't want to get dressed fro these nights, eat in another dining area.

In the Navigators Verandah cabins...It only sleeps 3 people. If you have a problem with this, get another cabin.

There is NO smoking at the Mickey Pool. If you smoke, go to an area that permits smoking.

You see Disney and MOST other cruise lines have guidelines they follow. In ALL areas not just the dining rooms. Adults and children alike should follow the rules, when they clearly know them BEFORE deciding this is the vacation for them.

OK off my soapbox. Its just that I can't believe this is an issue, this is their policy. End of story.

[peg2001]

I guess the reason that it is an issue to be discussed is the lack of clear REQUIREMENTS. Yes, DCL does have guidelines/requests but the fact that they ask "no shorts please" but then allow people to wear them in the dining rooms lends itself to debate over proper attire. So, if, on formal night, DCL says "tux required" and then directs anyone not wearing a tux to the buffet, then the dress code would be clear.

Personally, I'm happy to leave the policy "loose" to allow those who want to dress in tuxes and gowns can, those who want to wear a tie with slacks and evening dress can, and those who want to wear a nice button-down shirt with dockers and a simple summer dress or pantsuit can. And really, until DCL decides to enforce the "no shorts" rule, the ultra-casual folks who want to wear their shorts and flip-flops can! It won't bother me.

Peg

[Renee']

I'd be the first to commend DCL if they did enforce the rules. Unfortunately even though you're dealing with adults a simple suggestion can't be followed all of the time. There will always be those few who have to rebel and go against the grain simply because it isn't comfortable or it isn't "what I choose to do". Common courtesy and self respect seem to be dwindling which only adds to the moral decay of society. Showing up in an elegant dining room on a formal evening of a cruise ship in shorts is degrading in itself. Even Disney cannot suggest people have self respect and class. That's something they evidently choose not to have any of all on their own. Quite the example set forth for their children I'd say.

To be honest, I've reread the thread and I honestly don't believe the poster is sincere. I truly think they're simply trying to whip up some frenzy. I've seen some "trailer park" people have better manners than that. (No offense intended to anyone who may live in a mobile home).

[Mjasp]

If people started bringing children under 18 to Palo's and the adult pool, and when confronted to leave stated that when they enforce ALL their policies (including dress codes) then you will leave. Maybe that will be an eye opener for DCL.

I don't even know why I am posting this to this thread. I have NO problem following corporate or any other policies. Thats what keeps the world in some sort of order.

Bye

[llachance]

It has been a lot of fun to see how this thread has progressed. Having been raised in a military family and having been in the military myself for 14 years - following simple rules is not a problem. The problem comes when my daughter questions why other people don't follow the simple rules that are set up as well. My answer to her is usually that they don't think the rules apply to them but since they are the rules then she must obey them. She is 15 so sometimes this is a challenge but I think ultimately she will become a better adult because of what she has practiced.

We dressed formally for the formal night and dressier for the semi-formal night because that is what we were asked to do by DCL. I actually spent a lot of money on my daughter's dress because she will probably wear it this winter to the winter ball at her high school. My mom found her dress at Wal Mart for $13.00, my dress was more then my moms but less then my daughters. My favorite past time on formal night is to sit in the Promenade Lounge and watch all the delightful outfits go by. There seemed to be a million princess' last week on board:)

As adults we know that with almost everything we do there are rules, including dress codes. As adults we can choose whether we want to obey those. In most instances if we don't follow the rules there is a consequence including job loss and jail time. Dressing formally on a cruise doesn't lead to those kinds of consequences but in my mind the same formula should apply. If you don't want to follow the rules for your particular restaurant on any given evening then there are other options for you to persue......I saw a man turned away at lunch because he didn't have a shirt on! Yea because we were right behind his family in line (Parrot Cay) and I really didn't want to look at his bare chest while I was eating.

Help me teach my daughter that reasonable rules are not that difficult to follow and we create a more orderly society when we do.:)

[Deb in IA]

Originally posted by gobnu
And no I won't be at Topsiders or getting room service. I am on VACATION and I will wear what I want when I want.


Some people OBVIOUSLY believe that the rules do not apply to them . . .:rolleyes:

Yes, we will be dressing up for formal and semi-formal night. Hubby has some very nice dark suits, and we are still debating about the tux. WE will follow the suggested dress code. WE will be teaching our children about expected societal norms, appropriate attire, and how to behave in public. WE will NOT be upset by those who like to "make a statement" and disregard the rules. We will just smile, shake our heads, and tell our kids that this is how to act like a jerk . . .

[Mickbee]

I just have to add my $.02. For those who feel the guidelines don't apply;

Would you wear shorts to a loved ones wedding or funeral?

I doubt it, because you would know the right thing to do is to show respect for them. The example may be extreme but the point is simple; Respect.

For those that wear a suit everyday to work and feel that the guidelines of the cruise do not apply; how do they differ from your employer? They are both guidelines. The cruise guidelines will not put you in hot water with the boss or impact your salary review.

Bear in mind, there are many people that save every spare dime to be able to bring their family on a once in a lifetime experience. These folks follow the guidelines to the best of their ability. They buy or borrow a suit. When dinner time rolls around, they reluctantly change from their swim shorts into the appropriate dinner attire. They do what is requested of them out of respect. As they enjoy their meal at the Captain's formal dinner in their formal/Semi attire, the photographer stops at their table to take their family photo. "How great! Our photo taken while we are all dressed as a family, what a memory!".

The following morning they go to Shutters to view their memory from evening prior dinner and what do they see? Some guy that is wearing his tank top and baseball hat in the background of the photo.

We saw a few photos in Shutters with the above scenario! I have no idea about the saving scenario. Fortunately for us they were not our photos but we were shocked regardless.

For the freedom flag wavers; I am sure you would complain to a resort manager as loud as you could if Disney stuck you in a resort room overlooking a dumpster. Why? Because you paid all of this money to stay in a nice resort and you expect more. Same holds true for the cruisers. Why should their experience be reduced?

Food for thought...

Either way, enjoy your vacations! :)

[Dave_from_Marietta]

Originally posted by Mickbee

For the freedom flag wavers; I am sure you would complain to a resort manager as loud as you could if Disney stuck you in a resort room overlooking a dumpster. Why? Because you paid all of this money to stay in a nice resort and you expect more. Same holds true for the cruisers. Why should their experience be reduced?

Interesting analogy.

[goofysgirl]

Just to clarify things here. I was talking about a tux and gowns for 4 females. I did not say anything about shorts or tees, and I certainly do not expect to be trashed by all of you. No need to be so nasty people! Thanks for all the kindness!!:(

[Mjasp]

Goofysgirl...I don't think any of the comments here were meant for you, so please don't take offense to it They were in reference to posts added by posters who made rediculous comments after you. :D

[mcnuss]

Agreed...Goofysgirl, your original questions were completely reasonable and nobody (I hope) intended to trash you. It was comments that followed yours that were just unbelievable - people who equated what to wear on a cruise with the freedoms we enjoy as Americans. Please don't take offense.

ABN

[Michelle]

The hot topic that won't go away. ;)

Okay, round 62 of the topic is done here, once again, if anyone wants to debate this topic please feel free to start a thread on the debate board.