Never Again With Relatives!!

[JLTraveling]

If your group can't even make it through the planning stages without wanting to kill each other, that may be a sign to just call off the trip! Still, we had some fun and learned a lot in the process.

Cast of Characters:

Me, Lisa, early 30s -- I was practically raised at Disney, and worked there several times. I love Universal equally, and have also worked there. I've traveled a lot, and I'm used to delays/surprises. I generally go with the flow and am not real picky.

DF, my dad, Andy, mid-50s -- A Disney nut to the highest degree. Goofball sense of humor, lots of fun to hang out with. Absolutely loves showing people the parks and sharing bits of trivia along the way. Up for anything, and always manages to find the good in any person or situation. Also travels extensively. Disabled with an ECV and a GAC.

DC, my cousin, M., mid-20s -- M.'s my dad's brother's daughter. She moved with her mom to TN after her parents split up when she was little. She came to FL every summer until age 12. She had a rough childhood, and my parents kind of took her in over the summers. More like a sister than a cousin, but we hadn't seen each other much in 10 years.

DCIL, M.'s husband, J., mid-20s -- He's never been on vacation. His biggest trip was a drive with his brother to Biloxi from Nashville, straight there and straight back. We took him to a haunted house in Alabama when we were there a couple of years ago, a two-hour drive from his house, and it was a big deal trip for him. Big, quiet, and seemingly laid-back.

DU, M.'s dad, my dad's brother, S., mid-50s -- A real enigma. Sometimes loves us, sometimes hates us. Used to love Disney, but hasn't had the money to go in years, though he lives an hour away. Currently unemployed and living with a real witch who controls his every move. Only joined us on Magic Kingdom day.

Pre-trip summary: Dad and I are full-time RVers, and decided to spend some time in the Orlando area, where we were both raised, this year. M. always adored Disney and Universal, and had been talking about showing the parks to Jonathan. So thanks to some good travel deals, we offered her a birthday present -- Roundtrip airfare to Orlando, a week in an offsite condo, tickets to Disney and Universal, and a few table-service meals on us. Their counter-service dining and extras would be their responsibility.

The trip was originally scheduled for May, but for a variety of reasons was postponed until September. They also decided to drive down rather than fly, and we reimbursed them for gas. With the trip rescheduled, we also offered tickets to Halloween Horror Nights at Universal, but told them that if they wanted paid express passes, they could purchase them (Dad gets free disabled express for HHN, but only two passes).

Since the trip was rescheduled, we also made arrangements for my uncle S., M.'s father, to join us. His birthday was Aug 9, so Dad and I paid to upgrade his one-day birthday ticket to a FL Resident seasonal pass. However, his psycho live-in girlfriend informed him that he was only permitted to attend on our Magic Kingdom day.

Trip dates: Sept 21-Oct 1.
Tickets purchased: 6-day park hoppers, 7-day Universal/IOA, HHN Frequent Fear for them. We have APs for Disney and Universal, and we bought HHN Frequent Fear for ourselves as well.

Day One, Monday, Sept 21 -- Travel Day
Much drama had ensued with M. and her father, and I was already feeling skeptical about the trip. It was clear that there was a lot of baggage and bad blood, but Dad remained hopeful that the Disney magic would help to overcome it. Still, I took my time and dragged my heels getting ready. I'm sure it didn't help that as a freelance writer, I happened to get swamped with work in the days leading up to the trip, and was quite exhausted.

M. called around noon to say that they were on the road and really excited. Thank goodness she did, as their plan was to take Interstate 65 south. Great plan, if they were going to New Orleans!! We got them back on track and sent a MapQuest to their GPS. Still, she sounded really happy, and the feeling was infectious. I put on my happy Disney face and managed to get packed and the RV into storage.

Dad and I checked into the condo that evening and went to Walmart to buy household items and decorative touches like candles. We also did the "make your own Mickey ears" at Downtown Disney, creating a custom set of ears for all of us, plus S. We bought a pound of fudge at Goofy's Candy Co, a tribute to the time when M., then eight, polished off an entire pound on the hour-long drive from Universal to our then-house in Lakeland.

M. and J. got caught in the extremely bad rain and flooding in Atlanta, but managed to arrive around midnight. We were still at Walmart, so they met us there. Much hugging and excitement ensued. They were thrilled to see the condo, a 2-bedroom unit with a large living room, dining room, kitchen, and best of all, two bathrooms. There's also a lovely, fairly large private porch overlooking one of the two pools.

J. was exhausted from the drive and went to bed early, but M., Dad and I stayed up talking until nearly 4 am. Thankfully, the next day was a planned down day to relax.

Coming up: Day Two, Is a Hotel Tour Really That Exciting?

[Dizneydawn]

Here and for the first time first! :goodvibes

[JLTraveling]

We all slept late on Day Two, having been up until almost 4 am. Groggy but hungry, we were ready to embark around 1 pm. Destination: Contempo Cafe, and then a tour of the resorts.

I should pause here to explain that throughout the eight months of planning, I tried my best to engage M. and J. Whether they wanted to do the actual planning or just give a few opinions, Dad and I were trying really hard to incorporate their needs/wants/likes/desires. They kept saying repeatedly "You guys are the experts. We trust your opinions. We're sure we'll like whatever you come up with." Contempo Cafe, as well as the Sci-Fi and a ride on ToT for our Hollywood Studios day, were literally the ONLY things they specifically said they wanted to do at the parks. Outside the parks, they wanted to see the hospital at Celebration (Dad's home hospital, and since M.'s mom's a nurse, it's not quite as weird as it sounds) and MouseSurplus. So Dad and I put a lot of time and effort into creating a schedule that incorporated the few things they said plus a lot of things we thought they would like.

Since Dad needed his ECV, we all piled into his van. The van has some sort of weird electrical problem where the battery drains when the A/C is on and the car isn't moving, so we flip it off for a minute at traffic lights. Occasionally it doesn't start, but we have a massive power booster that provides an instantaneous jump.

Everyone was excited as we headed out, but J. and M. started complaining almost immediately about the heat. I tried not to pay attention, since I figured they would acclimatize over time. They complained loudly, though, every time we stopped at a light and had to turn off the A/C.

We decided to park at the TTC, since we weren't sure how long we would spend touring the resorts. We parked in the disabled lot with Dad's placard, and began walking in. Both J. and M. started whining about the length of the walk from the car to the monorail, but I chalked it up to still being tired from the drive.

A monorail was just pulling into the station, and there was no line, so M. and I broke into a jog and Dad turned up the speed on the ECV. J. stopped short and stared up. "I have to get on that?" "Um, yes, that's the general idea. That goes to the hotel where we're having lunch." "I'm scared. I don't think I can do it." Thank God he didn't hear about the crash in July, or we never would have gotten him on it! M. talked quietly with him, and he eventually agreed to go.

Once actually on the monorail, J. seemed to relax and we made it to the Contemporary uneventfully. Monica was excited to actually disembark at the hotel, since she'd only ever been through it on the Express line.

We found out about the food pickiness that day. Dad and I quickly settled on our order, and M. and J. wanted to split something. Between the two of them, though, it seemed that almost every option was ruled out--he hates mayonnaise or any creamy sauces, she hates virtually any vegetable, on and on.

I don't remember what they eventually settled on, some kind of sandwich and fries. I had the Chicken Caesar Salad (yum!) and Dad got the Beef Flatbread (equally yum!). Everyone enjoyed watching the monorails pass by as we ate.

Then the shopping tour began. I was genuinely shocked but excited at how into shopping J. seemed to be. Both of them looked at almost every item, bought candy, tried on silly hats, and seemed to be having a wonderful time. At their lead, we hit every shop at every monorail resort, plus the AK Lodge. By the time we got to the Lodge though, I could tell J. was crashing. He enjoyed seeing the animals, but started complaining that we had already been at it for around six hours, and he was ready to go back to the condo :scared1: Oh boy, this was going to be a long week.

We abandoned dinner plans at Ft Wilderness and went back to the condo. They had noticed an Olive Garden on 192, and they offered to buy us dinner there. I suppose now is a good time to mention that apparently Olive Garden is M.'s favorite restaurant, and J. normally takes her there once a year on her birthday. I should also mention the couponing. M. has become a completely obsessed coupon clipper, and she had one for Olive Garden.

J. and M. insisted on driving, which resulted in getting completely turned around. They were sure they knew where it was, and drove around in circles for about half an hour, despite Dad and me both trying to tell them how to get there. We eventually arrived, and were told there was a 30 minute wait.

Dad's diabetic, and his blood sugar was starting to crash. M. ran to the counter and got him a bread stick, and I think we were also bumped up in line, because our beeper went off about five minutes later. Dinner was good, standard Olive Garden fare. J. hated his lasagna, but filled up on salad and bread sticks.

Back at the condo, they went to their room pretty much instantly. Dad and I let them know that the next day was Magic Kingdom, and we wanted to be there for rope drop and the opening show, so they should set their alarm for 7 am. We watched a little TV and went to bed around midnight.

Coming up: Day Three, Five Very Different Personalities Hit the MK.

[JLTraveling]

Here and for the first time first! :goodvibes

Welcome! Put on your seat belt, because this one's a heck of a ride!! Hope you enjoy it :thumbsup2

[Jdougherty]

OMG,

that sound like vacationing with my Husbands ENTIRE family plus mine..... I've vacationed with each and almost all at one time.... never agian.......oh the flash backs..........

[bnewman27]

just getting enough posts in

[stacopp]

Having done the vacation with extended family that didn't go so well, I am signing up to see what happens! Looking forward to the TR

[JLTraveling]

Welcome, Jdougherty and stacopp! You guys are already making me feel better! It's easy to feel alone and completely off-balance when well-meaning trips turn into disaster, and while I'm very sorry you both went through it, I'm so glad to know it's not just me!! Hope you enjoy the TR!

[JLTraveling]

Can We Get There Already?
Despite our admonitions to set their alarm, M and J were completely passed out the next morning. At 7:30, I tried pounding on their door. No answer. At 7:45, Dad and I stood outside their door and sang "It's a Small World" and "Yo Ho, Yo Ho, a Pirate's Life for Me" very loudly and very off-key. M and J have two small kids who stayed home with Grandma for this trip, so at 8:00 I put on my best baby voice and started whining "Mommy! Mommy!" M opened the door within seconds! She also gave me permission to come in their room from then on to wake them up.

Since they were clearly exhausted, we checked in again with M and J. "Do you want to go to the park all day, or do you want a hotel break in the afternoon?" Historically, we've gone all day from open to close. Every time M's been down, she's done that with us. But we knew how easily J got tired, and we knew M wasn't a kid anymore. She quickly informed us that it was Disney, and NO WAY did she want a hotel break. Her dad (S) was also joining us that day, and she wanted to soak up every moment with him (despite the fact that they were planning to spend several days with him after the Disney portion of the trip).

Main Street USA
Everyone put on their Mickey ears, and we headed out, again taking Dad's van. S would call when he arrived at the park. We were running late, but managed to see part of the opening show from the monorail.

We watched the second opening show (the one on Main Street with the trolley car), and then headed to Guest Relations to get birthday buttons (we'd decided we were celebrating all of our birthdays on this trip) and family reunion buttons. We also got a First Visit button for J.

At this point we realized just how much M and J smoke. After each and every stop, whether an attraction or a shop, they needed a smoking area. Dad and I are smokers too, but we smoke less than a pack a day between us. They smoke better than half a CARTON a day. Thankfully (I guess), he also uses snuff, so he can put in a dip and be okay without stopping for a couple of hours.

We parked Dad's ECV and took the full train loop around the park. Despite his ride fears, when J saw BTMRR he decided he could do it. He was unsure about Splash though.

We were back on Main Street at, where else, the smoking area when S called at around 10 am to say he was in the parking lot. Despite earlier saying that she couldn't wait to see her dad, M decided he could catch up. It was time for rides. So off we went to Tomorrowland.

Tomorrowland
First up was Astro Orbiter. Dad and I got separate rockets, and M and J rode together. He's well over 6 feet tall and extremely broad, so you can imagine how comfortable that was! But that's ok, it was their decision. Turns out, though, that another of J's fears is heights. He initially refused to ride until M begged and cajoled him. We kept an eye on their rocket the whole time, and he was literally white and gripping the sides as tightly as possible. She took the rocket to its full height once, and he immediately made her take it all the way back down! :rotfl:

After surviving the scary Astro Orbiter, J needed a break. S still wasn't in the park, so we headed to CoP. S called almost as soon as we sat down, and we told him to meet us there. J and M had absolutely no comment after the show, so I have no idea if they liked it or not.

When we came out, S was at the drink cart across from CoP. Rather than waving him over, M decided it was the perfect time to call her kids. She disappeared into the bushes by the smoking area with the phone. J went to join her. Dad and I waved S over and made a big deal out of giving him his custom Mickey ears. He put them on and went over to M, standing directly in front of her for more than five minutes before she ever acknowledged him. She finally got off the phone and gave him a hug.

Liberty Tree Tavern
After a quick spin on the TTA, on which we briefly got to see the Space Mountain tracks, it was time for our lunch reservation at Liberty Tree Tavern. Poor S walks with a cane and really needs an ECV, which his girlfriend would have loaned him, but he's stubborn. So he was walking way slower than the rest of the group. I dropped back to walk with him, which I think he appreciated. That became a theme of the day -- M and J doing their thing and either me, Dad or both trying to make S feel welcome.

Lunch was a success. The menu wasn't exotic, so everyone was able to find something they liked. Dad and I split the pot roast, which Monica also had, and Steve had the Colony Salad. J got the appetizer-sized Declaration Salad, but ended up eating a little off everyone's plates. We had the Tavern Fried Cheese for the table, and since we were celebrating, everyone got a free small chocolate cupcake with sprinkles. Good conversation ensued, and we relaxed in the air conditioning for nearly two hours.

Since we were in Liberty Square anyway, we hit HM and HoP. As part of a group of five, I volunteered to ride HM alone. It was my first time ever riding it alone, and I couldn't believe how many small details I noticed without someone else distracting me! If you have the chance to do HM alone, take it!! Turns out J's an American history buff, so he was overawed by HoP. It was our first experience with the new show, and we all agreed it was fabulous! No more going to HoP to take a nap, lol!

"RIDES!"
By this point, it was nearly time for the 3:00 parade, which S and my dad both specifically requested. There was just one small problem. M was ready to do "RIDES!" I'm not sure what she considers HM, TTA, Astro Orbiter, etc, but they were not, in fact, "RIDES!" She had been whispering in my ear ever since lunch about how much she needed to do "RIDES!" and by 2:45, I had enough. I tried to gently tell Dad that perhaps M would rather skip the parade, but apparently my frustration came out in my voice.

Dad and I had a bit of a meltdown, which culminated in leaving the parade and him taking off at top ECV speed to Fantasyland, which contains lots of "RIDES!" Our argument lasted through most of Fantasyland, but thankfully was mostly silent glares or snide comments made in undertones, rather than a full yelling match. I'm sure those around us appreciated that! Meanwhile, M, J, and S refused to comment on anything except PhilharMagic, which all declared to be "Awesome!" even though it's not a "RIDE!" J managed to conquer his fear of Dumbo, which he rode alone (me with S and Dad with M), and take his elephant all the way up for a few moments.

Dad took M and J on the Teacups while I waited with S. He got it going so fast, it was literally rocking on its base. Turns out J also has a problem with dizziness, so we sat on a ledge outside the "RIDE!" for about 15 minutes while his head stopped spinning. M loved it though.

Next up was Mickey's Toontown Fair where Dad, M, J and I all enjoyed Goofy's Barnstormer. I was proud of J for doing it. S waited on a bench. M bought some princess ears for her youngest, and J got cotton candy. I got bitten by a no-see-em, and still have a large red welt.

Frontierland and Panic Attacks
We briefly strolled through Toontown, but M was ready for more "RIDES!" so we headed over to Frontierland. S flatly refused to do BTMRR. Jonathan commented a few times on waiting with S, but M begged and cajoled. Eventually he agreed to try it, but there was visible tension mounting between them. M adored the ride. J said he felt like he was going to have a heart attack the whole time, but he was glad he tried it once.

Next up was Splash. J REALLY didn't like the look of the drop, and tried to beg out. M started begging and pleading, and soon turned to anger. Finally J said he would do it. Surprisingly, S also decided to ride.

Now here's the thing with S. He and my dad had cardiac stents placed within a week of each other, in the same spot, in the same hospital room! Dad's always been tough and fearless, and as soon as he was cleared to resume thrill rides he did so. S's always been weak and scared, and enjoys the excuse NOT to ride them, though he has been medically cleared. He builds himself up into panic attacks when he tries things. We did Expedition Everest on S's birthday. He was fine until it went backwards, at which point he had a panic attack. When we got back to the station, he had to lay down on the concrete until he got his breathing under control. He turned down medical assistance but accepted a wheelchair, which I pushed for the rest of the afternoon. So I was really surprised he decided to do Splash.

J was terrified the whole time. Every little bump or hill, he started screaming and cursing. In the photo, his hands are gripping the bar as tightly as humanly possible, his eyes are screwed shut, and his mouth is open in a wild scream. It's kind of cute, actually. S did fine the whole ride, but freaked himself out for the drop. I was sitting next to him, and had to talk him through breathing exercises from the bottom of the drop back to the station.

Meltdown in Adventureland
So J was miserable and S was miserable. I wanted to get to Adventureland to do my two favorite rides, Jungle Cruise and Pirates. It was already 7:15 and the park was closing at 8:00. Monica started whining about riding again, and I put my foot down. I said I was going to Adventureland, and anyone who cared to join me was welcome to do so. S and J looked thankful that they didn't have to do Splash again. Dad immediately checked his watch and agreed with me. M was furious.

M sulked and threw death glares at everyone throughout both rides. J got cranky, whether due to being hot and tired or annoyed with M. S was tired. Dad and I enjoyed the rides, and tried not to let the others get us down.

We walked out of Jungle Cruise just as Wishes was starting. We ran up to the side of the castle, which isn't a great view, but we intended to surprise M and J with the Wishes Dessert Party later in the week. Turns out M loves fireworks, so she was finally happy again, or so we thought.

Dad, S and I were bewildered when Wishes ended and M stormed off. I caught up to her and asked what happened, and was informed that "J didn't put his arm around me during the show. He knows I love fireworks." I tried to talk calmly and soothingly to her, but it was too late.

The Aftermath
M and J turned on each other in what I can only describe as a firestorm. The entire way out of the park, they were hurling insults. When we got to the ferry boat, J went upstairs with me while Monica remained on the lower level with Dad and S. This is when I found out this was their "Make up or break up" trip, and it looked like they were breaking up for good.

J got me to switch seats with him for the ride home, so he didn't have to sit next to M. S followed us to the condo. Dinner was supposed to be Olive Garden leftovers, but nobody but Dad ever actually ate that night.

The fight continued to escalate to the point that I thought we would get kicked out of the condo, if not arrested for disturbing the peace. They hated each other, they just wanted to go home and get divorced, just horrible things. I'm a trained therapist, so I offered to mediate if they wanted it. They said they did, so we sat and talked (well, I talked, they yelled) for hours. They finally wore themselves out around 2:30 am, cried and hugged and kissed and made up, and went to bed. S ended up staying over on the sleeper sofa, though he left before I was up the next morning. And for some reason, he didn't take his Mickey ears.

Day Four, Forget Epcot, We Need a Day to Recover!

[MouseKTeer]

Joining in! popcorn::

We had 3 generations in our little travel group to the world this summer. The difference in age between the youngest and oldest was 58 years :) So you've got me hooked on what's gonna happen on your trip.

How did you choose your offsite condo? Just curious...

[JLTraveling]

Joining in! popcorn::

We had 3 generations in our little travel group to the world this summer. The difference in age between the youngest and oldest was 58 years :) So you've got me hooked on what's gonna happen on your trip.

How did you choose your offsite condo? Just curious...

Welcome, MouseKTeer! I honestly think our trip could have been wonderful if M and J hadn't been teetering on the brink of divorce beforehand. Or if he had ever traveled before and had some idea what to expect. We ended up feeling so trapped inside their drama, and neither of them could seem to let it go. :sad2:

Dad's retired from the Dept of Defense, so he qualifies for the Armed Forces Vacation Club. They get an ever-changing inventory of timeshares that haven't booked for a particular week, and we can choose any available condo anywhere in the world for $329 per week. There were several available in the Disney area for our dates, so we used Trip Advisor to narrow them down, and eventually settled on Orbit One. It's on Entry Point Rd, which is Sherberth Rd on the other side of 192. That's a very convenient back way to the parks, and the drive takes all of five minutes. The condo is fabulous, and I would highly recommend it!

[JLTraveling]

The Plan
According to our well-crafted plan, we would have two days at Epcot. Part of one day was to be taken up with a Gifts of a Lifetime Amazing Race birthday surprise for my dad, so we figured we would do that and Food and Wine one day, and Future World a separate day. This was to be Future World day. Of course, the plan didn't take into account midnight fights. Nor did it take into account that M REALLY hates Epcot, but didn't tell us for fear of "hurting our feelings."

Despite the late night, Dad and I were up and moving by 8 am. We weren't about to wake M and J though. Since M had finally voiced her Epcot hatred during the previous night's fight, we decided to just cancel the day and use it as a relaxing reset for everyone.

M woke up after 12:30 and was upset that it was so late. She was also furious that S hadn't stayed to say goodbye. Clearly the fact that the witch he lives with was probably furious that he didn't come home the night before never entered M's thinking. She got J up and we let them come up with a new plan for the day.

M decided on MouseSurplus, the hospital at Celebration, and Downtown Disney. We suggested adding Spook Hill, a quick, free, ride-through old Florida attraction that's just down the street from MouseSurplus, and she agreed.

Can We Make It Through a "Relaxing" Day?
It was scorching hot by the time we left (2 pm in Central FL in September, what did they expect?), and M and J were whining about the heat from the moment we stepped out of the house. Remember the electrical problem in Dad's van? Every time we stopped at a light and flipped off the A/C, they yelled and proclaimed that "we're going to d-i-i-e-e-e-e!" (picture a stereotypical 12-year-old girl being told she can't have new shoes).

We went to Celebration first and thanks to Dad's disabled placard got a parking spot just outside the front doors. If you've seen Celebration Health, you know it's pretty spectacular. And M ASKED to go. So we were surprised when she kept rolling her eyes and declaring the hospital in Nashville ten times better. Needless to say, we left pretty quickly.

The van didn't start when we got back to it, so we used the power booster (the only day during the entire trip that it didn't start, incidentally). At this point, M was standing outside the van, hanging off the door, whining "Why don't we just take MY ca-a-a-a-r? I don't know why we have to take this piece of (deleted for family viewing)." Well, there are two good reasons. The one I voiced is that Dad's ECV doesn't fit into M's ca-a-a-ar. The one I didn't express is that I've ridden with J before and I value my life. VERY dangerous driver, and I don't get scared easily.

Back in the car, despite the fact that we were on the highway and the A/C is super-cold, the pair of them continued to make pointed snide comments about the heat, just loud enough that we could overhear. 20 minutes later, I got sick of hearing it and told them to both shut up. We hit the McD's drive through, where M, Dad, and I got lunch, just before MouseSurplus. J wasn't hungry.

I warned M in advance that MouseSurplus wasn't air conditioned and asked if she was sure they wanted to do it during the hot afternoon. She assured me that they did. Well, I don't know if it was the heat or just them, but both rolled their eyes, stamped their feet, and rushed through the shop as quickly as possible. Now, I'll give them that it wasn't the best merchandise day MouseSurplus has ever had, but that's hardly my fault.

They did enjoy Spook Hill. It's a cute optical illusion that doesn't involve getting out of the car, and I think they were happy to just sit and enjoy it. Then Jonathan decided he was hungry, so we had to go find him a McD's. Can't the boy just eat when the eating's good?

Are You Sure This Is a Good Idea?
At this point, M and J were both complaining of headaches and stomach aches, but they still wanted to go to Downtown Disney. So against our better judgment, we agreed.

We had taken M to Downtown Disney when she was here for a couple of days in March while her dad was in the hospital. She had a wonderful time and was excited about everything, and she said she wanted to share it with J. So we assumed the evening would go well. You know what happens when you assume, right?

As we were driving up, the Characters in Flight balloon was in the air. M finally got truly excited for the first time the whole trip. She was staring with her mouth hanging open, and pointing, and begging to ride. Dad and I hadn't done it yet, so we said that if they wanted to go, we would buy the tickets. I wasn't sure J and his fear of heights would be up for it, but to my utter amazement, he immediately said yes. M was beside herself with excitement.

We got a great parking spot in front of the movie theater, and went directly to the balloon. There was a fairly long wait, because the wind was kind of high, so they were only taking six at a time. Both M and J said they wanted to wait.

Now, M and J already had a reservation for parasailing in Clearwater later in the trip. Yet while they were waiting for the balloon, M completely psyched herself out. She went from fearless excitement to utter terror. Only she didn't express it. She made a slight comment, "Oh my gosh, my heart is really pounding. I don't know if I can do it." Knowing M and her general lack of fear, Dad and I started gently teasing her. Among other things, I said, "Gee, I don't know. If you can't conquer your fear on this, maybe you shouldn't go to Halloween Horror Nights tomorrow." Totally said and meant in a teasing manner.

The Meltdown
M flipped out. She suddenly stomped out of line, lit a cigarette, and motioned for J to come over. She was talking furiously, a mile a minute, and shooting daggers at me with her eyes. But I couldn't hear what she was saying. I had no idea what I had done at that point. I gave her a few minutes and then approached her to ask if she was okay. Her expletive-riddled response amounted to "I'm going to do it because you're "forcing" me to do it." I told her that I was not, in fact, trying to force her, and it was fine with me for her to stay on the ground. In a not so nice way, she informed me that she didn't believe me. Dad got to the ticket window and asked how many tickets he should buy, if any. She snapped at him to get four and flounced to the holding area.

While we were waiting for our turn, tickets already purchased, it finally came out that she thought I was saying that she wasn't allowed to go to HHN if she didn't do the balloon ride. I immediately apologized for coming across that way, and told her that I was just joking with her. She told me where to go. Now, it would have been a neat trick for me to even try to prevent her from going to HHN, because they had their own car and the HHN Frequent Fear passes were waiting at Will Call. But nonetheless, she was convinced that I wouldn't "permit" her to go.

In the balloon, J and M stayed as far away from Dad and me as possible. She sat on the floor of the balloon for most of the ride, though J convinced her to stand up before the end. As predicted, she had a wonderful time and was SO glad she had done it. Shockingly, J wasn't scared at all. They were both so proud of themselves. Unfortunately, M was still furious with me.

Another Late Night of Fighting
Although I tried to just let the fight go, M was having none of it. She kept escalating and escalating, first taking my dad aside to tell him horrible things about me, and then doing the same thing with J. But the kicker was when she looked directly into my eyes and said, "This just brings back all the times you hurt me over the years." That was shocking to me, because all I've ever tried to do over the years was help her make the best of her rotten summers and be a calming and steadying influence. So that hurt me pretty deeply. I asked her to explain what she meant, and she just clammed up.

After another hour, it was clear that Downtown Disney was done. We headed back to the car. M got in and refused to acknowledge anything or anyone. In the process of getting his ECV loaded, Dad sliced his arm open. Blood was running everywhere, and I couldn't tell how deep the cut was. I yelled and J came running to help. M started screaming at him to get back in the car and let Dad bleed. Thankfully he ignored her and located the First Aid kit while I dug around for shop towels to stop the bleeding. It turned out the cut wasn't that big, just a major bleeder, and we were able to get Dad patched up. But M not only didn't show any concern, she was furious with J for helping.

At that point, I completely lost it. I told M I wasn't surprised she didn't care about my dad, considering she hadn't bothered to show up for my mom's funeral. I told her to show some concern or get out of our car. So she flounced off looking for a cab. Then she immediately came back to ask for the address of the condo. She flounced off again, then came back and told us they didn't "have money" to pay a cab. Now, during their fight the previous night, J had pulled their trip money out of his wallet and scattered it all over the table. There were many $100 bills, so I'm not sure why they couldn't afford a $10 cab ride?

The Near Break
Anyway, they got back in the car and we rode home in silence. She immediately started packing to leave. J's got real high blood pressure, and he said he started feeling like he was having a stroke. So he went to lay down while she packed. Dad didn't want her to leave like that, out of anger, so he told her that if she left under those circumstances, then she was choosing to cut off her relationship with him. She didn't say anything, but disappeared into their bedroom. A few minutes later they came out in their swimsuits and went to the pool.

Dad and I sat on the porch for awhile to see if she wanted to talk, but gave up and went to bed around 2 am. A few minutes later, she came in our room sobbing. She was so sorry, she didn't mean for it to go like this, she loves us so much, couldn't we please give her another chance?

Although we were both really done at this point, we truly didn't want to end things on such a bad note. We told her that we loved her, and that we would be willing to try again, but that we were hurt and it might take some time to get over it. She said she understood and would make a special effort the next day.

Coming up: Day Five, Universal and HHN...Can We Live Through It?

[canoe86]

I'm heading to Disney in a month or so with my wife and four kids. When things get hectic and crazy...which they are bound to do a few times......I'm going to think back on your trip report. (make me feel things aren't so bad)

[canoe86]

psychotic. (with all due respect)

[JLTraveling]

psychotic. (with all due respect)

Why yes. She certainly acted that way.

[JLTraveling]

Trepidation
I slept horribly after the previous night's fight. Once again, I hadn't eaten dinner, so my stomach was protesting loudly. I stared at the TV, but I don't think sleep came until around 5 am. I was just dreading what the day would bring.

M was true to her word, though. At 7:15 am, she came into our room. She shook me awake and told me she loved me, then pointed at Dad's bed with question marks in her eyes. I told her to go for it. Like she had every morning when she was seven, M ran and jumped on Dad's bed. She bounced up and down, playfully telling him he better get up or he would be left behind.

Worried but deciding to give her the benefit of the doubt, we got up and dressed quickly. Somehow, despite the early start, M and J weren't ready to go until nearly 9:30. We all agreed that it would be best if they took their own car in case they didn't feel like staying all the way through HHN. It was opening night, and there was no way Dad and I were planning not to stay.

They managed to get a decent parking spot, so we only had to wait a few minutes (in front of the movie theater, always our designated meeting spot). Then off to Cinn-a-bon for breakfast. All four of us like cinnamon rolls, so it worked out well. M had seen the roller coasters at IOA from the car, and was really excited about them. J was very happy that it wasn't IOA day, since his coaster phobia seemed to be in overdrive.

We went to Guest Relations and picked up Dad's disabled express passes, as well as the Frequent Fear passes. We explained again to M and J that while Dad can get six disabled express passes during the day, he can only get two during HHN. We strongly suggested that they buy express passes, but they didn't want to spend the money yet.

Another Late Start
The disabled express passes are not valid at the new Rip, Ride, Rockit coaster, and the line was already over an hour. M decided to wait on riding it, since I'm boycotting it, Dad can't stand in line for an hour, and J was terrified. She said she didn't want to waste an hour in line by herself. By this point it was already nearly noon :scared1:

We all bought Meal Deals and souvenir mugs. We thought they might like Shrek 3D, but M flatly refused. She said her kids watch Shrek obsessively, and she wanted to be out of "Mommy mode." We tried to explain that the attraction is a lot better than the film, but she "knew better." This was to become a dominant theme, despite her being proven wrong repeatedly.

Nonetheless, we turned right on Hollywood Blvd. The Horror Makeup Show was about to begin. Now, M says she doesn't like shows, but she remembered that one and was excited to do it. J seemed to like it as well, and the day was off to a great start. There wasn't going to be a Terminator 3D show for awhile, so we went on to KidZone (after the obligatory smoke breaks). They both loved ET and the Woody Woodpecker Nuthouse Coaster.

M was having trouble fitting together her memories of Universal a decade ago with the reality of today, so while we were in KidZone we stopped briefly to point out the old Hard Rock Cafe and the spot where the Psycho House and Bates Motel had been. This was a mistake that would come to haunt us later.

We moved on to World Expo, where Dad suggested we ride Men In Black. It's a ride we usually skip (the only one of that genre we care for is Toy Story), but we thought J might like it. He was mad about having to put his camera in a free locker, but he seemed to get over it. We all rode and shot aliens and had a good time, or so everyone said. We got lunch at the International Food and Film Festival, where Dad and I had orange chicken and M and J got pizza.

Can We Stick to a Mini-Plan?
Even with the Express passes, the late start had set us back, and we were getting concerned about time. So we decided to skip Jaws and Mummy and ride them that night during HHN. The plan was to do Beetlejuice, Disaster and Twister, then run around to Hollywood to get in T2: 3D before heading to the Passholder event for HHN.

We made it through Beetlejuice okay, and even J seemed to enjoy the show. Afterwards, he was ready for some Dipping Dots. You know those little balls of ice cream? For four days, all I had heard about was Dipping Dots, and they sell them in Amity at Universal. WHY he didn't get them before Beetlejuice and eat them during the show, I will never know. All I know is that it was already 3:30, we had a long attraction and a short attraction left, and the last T2 started at 4:30.

Oh, the Power of Dipping Dots
Here's the thing about M and J. Neither can do anything on their own. He said he didn't care about the remaining attractions, he cared about his Dipping Dots. She didn't want Dipping Dots, she wanted the attractions. Wouldn't it be logical for him to get Dipping Dots and the rest of us to do an attraction, and then meet up? It doesn't work that way in their world.

So we all backtracked to the Dipping Dots. And sat down on a bench. And watched J eat them. Monica got upset pretty quickly, which I understand given that we were running out of time. Soon he threw away the half-eaten container of Dipping Dots and we were off to Disaster.

J was fuming about the uneaten Dipping Dots, but I think it helped when M was chosen to participate in the show. She remembered Earthquake, and agreed that Disaster was a vast improvement. She was happy, and J seemed okay.

They recently lived through a pretty nasty tornado, so Dad and I expected them to skip Twister, but J specifically said that he was interested in seeing it. It scared both of them pretty badly, but they said it was realistic and well-done, and they were glad to have seen it.

Express or Not Express? That Is the Question
Having been put behind schedule by the Dipping Dots, we missed the last T2. So we headed to Guest Relations to pick up Dad's HHN express passes and tried yet again to suggest that M and J buy passes, but they refused.

Dad and I met a couple of wonderful Disney CMs in line at Guest Relations, and had a long conversation with them. They had never been to HHN before, and she was nervous. He was excited. We gave them a few tips and pointers. M and J sat on a bench.

After stopping for smoke breaks and bathroom breaks, the Passholder event houses were already open by the time we got there. Fortunately, since they were exclusively open for Passholders, the lines were only around 15 minutes.

Never Suggest Sunglasses to "Adults"
Earlier in the day, we had suggested to M and J that they wear sunglasses in line for the houses that we would see before dark. The reason is simple: if you enter a dark house from a sunny street, your eyes won't adjust until the end of the house. On opening night last year, we spent the early part of the evening running into walls, getting lost, and bumping scare actors. The next night we wore sunglasses in line, and voila, we could actually see the houses!

M had left her sunglasses in the car, and we had forgotten to pack ours, so we had picked up three pairs of decently inexpensive glasses at the MiB store. J had his with him. Now we suggested that they wear their glasses, which they did.

The first house was "Ripped from the Silver Screen." Without spoiling it for those who may want to go, it was awesome! Great effects, great scares, lots of fun. The second house was "Chucky: Friends Till the End." Again, a fabulous house! M's deathly afraid of clowns, to the point that we all had to surround her and lead her past The Simpsons Ride because she was so scared of the Krusty head. So again, not to spoil the house, but at a certain point I knew she would be scared. She was directly behind me, so I grabbed her hand and told her to close her eyes and just follow me.

That house scared M pretty badly, even with me trying to help her through. We took a break to let her calm down and get a bit of food. At this point, J REALLY wanted an express pass. The lines were already starting to back up, and the event had just officially opened. He had seen the advantages of Express earlier in the day, and he did NOT want to stand in lines. Dad and I had also made it clear that we would stand with them if the line was 15 minutes or less, but that because of his back problems, he couldn't do anything longer.

M put her foot down. They were NOT going to spend $120 on two express passes. They were planning to go two nights anyway, and they'd just do the best they could. If they ended up having to stand in line, that didn't affect Dad and me, since we could still go express, and it was just too bad if J didn't like it. I bit my tongue and stayed out of it, while they got more and more heated.

After they calmed down a bit, we headed for The Spawning. The wait was already 45 minutes. Dad talked to the Ride and Show attendant out front, and convinced her to let the four of us go through express with only two passes. We put our sunglasses back on and suggested they do the same. Jonathan put his on, but M started whining that "I'm a grownup. I'm a mommy. I'm not a kid anymore and you can't tell me what to do!!" Okay then, are you going to hold your breath till you turn blue too? We apologized and dropped the sunglasses topic.

I don't know if she saw a single thing in The Spawning, because even having worn the glasses, Dad and I could barely see. That's one I definitely want to redo after dark. M and J didn't like it. They were definitely getting cranky.

Another Night, Another Argument
I had let everyone know in advance that I planned to see the 7:30 Bill and Ted show. It's become a tradition for Dad and me to always see the first and last Bill and Ted of the season. So we headed over at about 7:00.

M and J pulled out their guide map and stood about ten paces back from us, muttering to each other. I knew something was wrong, so I asked if they were okay. M told J to "man up" and tell me what was wrong. He said he was okay and left it at that. So M told me that J didn't want to see Bill and Ted, he wanted to go the Saw house. But he didn't want to tell us, because he thought we would yell at him.

We told him if he wanted to go, that was fine. We were going to see Bill and Ted. Apparently J didn't believe us, because he didn't go. He stayed with us. They kept muttering and looking at the map. Dad and I decided they were not going to ruin Bill and Ted for us, so we turned around and chatted with the VERY nice HHN Vault people ahead of us in line.

M ended up absolutely adoring the show, as we figured she would. Even J was clapping and cheering by the end, so we thought maybe the fight was over, or at least on hold. Nonetheless, nobody wanted to push it. Dad and I planned to do the Rocky Horror Tribute next, and M was positive that J would hate it. She's a Rocky Horror fan, but again, they can't do anything unless they both do it. So she and I came up with the plan for them to go get more Dipping Dots, maybe ride Jaws, just take a general breather while we went to the show.

After Bill and Ted, we enacted the plan that M and I had agreed on. Dad and I were thrilled to run into some of our friends from last year's HHN, and had a wonderful time. Until my phone started ringing. Off the hook. I read the first couple of texts, from M of course. They had done Jaws twice and were going to check the line at Saw. I texted back "K." Then she actually called, and I wasn't going to answer during the show. I turned off my phone. From the time Rocky started at 8:15 until it ended at 8:50, I literally received three phone calls and six texts, all from M!!!

I was pretty surprised when I read the texts. First, they somehow managed to talk their way into bypassing the 75 minute wait at Saw and using the express line. They wanted us to be there in ten minutes (sent literally five minutes after the 35 minute show started). The next, sent in rapid succession beginning at 8:40, were weird and snippy, telling us that they were done and heading back to the condo. Um, okay, couldn't you have waited till we were out of the show to tell us that in person?

I called M and she said they were almost back to the car and were heading to the condo, and we needed to have a house meeting. I asked what the topic was, since I was utterly bewildered at what we'd supposedly done this time. She said it was about the text that my dad had sent her dad. At 8:30 pm. During the Rocky Horror Tribute. I was sitting right next to him. He was enjoying the show. He's not even good at texting, and hates doing it. He certainly wasn't surreptitiously texting during the show.

This Is Where It Gets Really Weird
"OK, what's the alleged text?" "My dad said that your dad texted him and said that if he doesn't get here (HHN) by 9:00, then I'm going to be mad at him and really mad at his girlfriend." Huh, what, come again? A) S doesn't have the money to go HHN. B) S lives over an hour from Universal and the alleged text was sent at 8:30?? C) S wouldn't even enjoy HHN. D) What possible motive would my dad have for threatening his brother to make him to go to an event? E) I was sitting right next to my dad and he certainly didn't send any texts!

Okay, I'm not even mad. I'm horribly befuddled. I tell her to tell my dad this and give him the phone. Meanwhile I try to call S (M's dad). No answer. I call a few times. Clearly he's not speaking to me, and I have no idea why. I text him, "What's going on?" He forwards that text to M, but will not answer me. M won't listen to Dad or me, S isn't speaking to us, we're getting nowhere. So we finally tell her we'll be home late, we'll discuss it in the morning, and by the way, we'll be glad to pull up phone records online.

Shock and Awe Campaign, Thy Name Is M
Dad and I ended up spending the rest of the evening wandering through HHN in a state of shock and bewilderment. We decided to save the rest of the houses for the next night, and wandered through the scare zones. We stopped for awhile to watch the live Fangoria broadcast. We ran into some more friends. We had a good time, but were definitely shaken up pretty badly.

We left just before midnight, hoping and praying that M and J would have packed and left before we got there. Sadly, their car was still parked outside. Directly in front of the condo, leaving Dad and his health problems to walk all the way from the far end of the lot.

Coming up: Day Six, HHN Retry, Does the Insanity Ever End?

[canoe86]

MY guess is the insanity.....does not end.

[JLTraveling]

Why Am I Doing This Again?
Okay, let's recap. Dad and I offered M and J a trip to Disney and Universal. We paid for their gas after first offering a flight. We paid for the offsite condo. We paid for six-day park hoppers, seven-day Universal/IOA tickets, HHN Frequent Fear passes, and table-service dining. We spent eight months asking for their input. Once they got here, we adapted and changed and reworked the schedule and threw entire chunks of time out the window. We paid for M's father to go to MK at her request. We kept trying to find out what they wanted and provide it to them. Yet we're up to Day Six, and every single day either they've screamed at each other or screamed at us. Sometimes both in the same day. Am I the only one not understanding why we're all still trying to make this work?

The Talk
Despite getting home more than three hours after they did, Dad and I were up first again. We talked a bit, trying to understand where M could possibly be coming from. J got up awhile later, and he didn't seem mad at all. He was as befuddled as we were as to why S would invent a text message and start trouble between us.

We had a reservation for Kona Cafe that morning that I really wanted to keep, but I knew better than to suggest it. So I kept my mouth shut and waited for M to get up. Which she finally did after 11 am.

M was civil but reserved. She also changed her story. Now it wasn't a text message that had allegedly been sent. It was a voicemail that had allegedly been left. She wasn't interested in phone records or any other objective proof. Just like the day before, she knew what she knew and no one could convince her otherwise. She flatly refused to call her father to get to the bottom of it.

Meanwhile, she wanted to discuss other topics. The biggest one was the sunglasses. How dare we have even suggested that she wear sunglasses in line for a haunted house. She doesn't like sunglasses and she doesn't have to wear them. We agreed. She's right. She's doesn't. And she didn't calmly tell us this why?

Next was the shows. M informed us that she and J (the same guy who was terrified of the monorail, Dumbo, and the Astro Orbiter) only care for the big rides. They hate shows and don't appreciate being "forced" to endure them. When we pointed out that every show we saw except Bill and Ted was her idea, she became enraged. Bill and Ted was the sticking point, apparently, because we told her that we were going to see it. She told us that if they want to see a show, then we will all see it. If they don't, then none of us will see it.

J finally decided to speak up, for the first time the entire trip. He told us that this is their vacation. We have annual passes. His expectation is that they will look at the map or just wander around and decide what to do. We will follow along behind them and stop to do whatever they decide. He stopped just short of saying, "Since you have the GAC and we don't want to wait in lines or do Fast Pass."

M actually intervened at that point and told J that was unfair. Dad suggested that we all just split up. They have a car and park tickets, and we have a car and park tickets. They could go do whatever they wanted, and we could do the same. If we met for anything, cool. If not, cool. Monica said that she didn't want to do things that way because it would feel disrespectful to say "Hey, thanks for the condo and the tickets. Buh-bye now!" But it doesn't feel disrespectful to stamp your feet, roll your eyes, start screaming arguments or storm out of parks?

An Actual Workable Plan?
So we told M that if she wanted to keep doing things together, we would have to find a way to make it work. We explained that the offer we had originally made and they had originally accepted was for a personal VIP tour of the parks. That was the expectation that we were operating under. To us, a personal VIP tour includes an overview of everything and a bit of discussion on history, trivia and fun facts. I reminded her that for eight months, I had tried to get input and been told that they wanted to leave it all up to us. I reminded her that for nearly a week, we had been trying to ask targeted questions and get specific input and only ever gotten "Fine," or "OK," or "I'm game." I reminded her that on a couple of the days I had handed her the schedule and a pen and had HER make the entire day's schedule. I was up for whatever she wanted to do to change things and make them work, but I was not okay with feeling like we were tagging along for the sole purpose of using the GAC.

After a McDonald's run and many more hours of conversation, we eventually hit on a new idea. We would go around each park in a circle. As we got to each thing, each person would vote Yea or Nay. If one person wanted to do something, everyone would stop and either do it or sit and wait. Efficient? Not in the slightest. The greatest idea since sliced bread? According to M, it was. OK, cool, that's resolved. Are we friends again?

The Big Test
J really wanted to go back to HHN that night, so we put the new plan into action. Since we were taking two cars, they would leave slightly ahead of us. She wanted to try to ride Rip, Ride, Rockit before HHN, and he was willing to sit and watch. Meanwhile, Dad and I would leave slightly behind them, get our express passes at Guest Relations, and meet them in the Stay and Scream holding area. We hadn't been able to get reservations for that night's Passholder party.

They ended up leaving an hour behind schedule. I was just waiting for them to leave so that I could lay down and meditate for 20 minutes, to clear my head and steel myself to try again. Since they left late, my 20 minutes put us behind schedule, and Dad and I arrived 10 minutes after Universal closed. So we headed for the IOA holding area.

I called M to let her know and make a plan to meet at one of the houses. She told me that Dad and I should come to Universal because the Team Member in the holding area told her that we could still get in if we showed our APs at the gate. I tried to explain that was only for those attending the Passholder party. She refused to believe me. I told her to ask that Team Member if we could get in the gate without being on the list for the party, and she said no. M believed her.

She didn't do the coaster, by the way, as the line was over 2 hours long. I'm not surprised, but I wanted her to find out on her own. Meanwhile, she either tricked J or got her story confused, because she told him The Mummy was just like Men in Black :rotfl2: He rode with her, but afterward while she was :cheer2::thumbsup2, he was :scared1::sick: Dad and I promised to ride with her later that night.

So Dad and I went through IOA holding. It worked out just fine, and we actually made it to our first house (Wolfman) five minutes ahead of M and J. We waited outside, and we all got in with less than a 10 minute wait. Awesome house! Can't wait to see it again! We did Dracula, another really terrific house, with under a 10 minute wait, and lined up for Frankenstein, which would open at 6:30. Dad and I ran into more friends in line, and for once M didn't get upset with us for saying hello. Was the evening really going to be a success? Maybe so, because right after Frankenstein, we got into Leave It to Cleaver in under 15 minutes. That finished off the houses for them, although Dad and I had yet to see Saw.

We were all in a great mood, and decided to grab some grub. Dad and I got fried chicken in Amity, while M and J had more Dipping Dots. For once we were talking and laughing and genuinely acting like a family! :grouphug::dance3:

M decided she really wanted to see Rocky Horror, and despite several warnings from us about the content, J said he wanted to go too. M had a great time, even yelling some audience callbacks. Afterward, J said it was the worst experience of his life :rotfl: Still, he had promised not to agree to do things and then complain about them, and he honored that agreement.

J really wanted to see the street scare zones, so right after Rocky we headed out. The idea was to make a big circle around the park, hitting all the zones, then end up at The Mummy for us to ride with M. Unfortunately, the weather had other ideas.

As we left the Rocky theater, I felt a couple of drops of rain. We ducked into Louie's to wait it out, and it seemed to be just a small sprinkle. So we headed out again and made it through New York street with a bunch of dazed scare actors just standing around. I think they were in the process of being called in due to rain. Just as we left that scare zone, the sky literally opened up. We were drenched in seconds, so we ran for ponchos. Dad's ECV can't get too wet or the electronics will be ruined, making the situation potentially even worse.

Once poncho-ed and scooter protected, J wanted to head out again. But the street actors had gone in, and the ponchos seemed to be doing little good. We headed for the Universal Studios Store to wait it out. Eventually we were able to make a break for the restrooms, and by the time everyone was done it looked like the rain was about over. We saw some street actors start to head out. Can we really do it?

Nope, not yet. As soon as we left the restroom building, round two of rain hit. The street actors left again and we ducked back into shelter. Fortunately that bout was short-lived, so we headed for the Saw house.

Saw had closed briefly due to the rain, and a huge crowd was milling about outside. There was no actual line though, so we managed to stake out spots at the rope. We waited about ten minutes and the queue was opened. Turns out a lot of people hadn't evacuated the queue when the house closed, so we still had to wait around 20 minutes, but it was much better than a 75 minute wait!! M and J were thrilled and excited to share the house with us. I loved the sets and accurate recreations of scenes, though I didn't think it was that straight-up "scary." I love different houses for different reasons though, and that one was just cool.

By the time we got out, the rain was gone and the street scare actors were back. Shockingly, the rain delay hadn't upset anyone in our group, and we laughed and jumped in puddles. M got some great scares, and even J was startled a few times. Much fun was had by all!

We stayed until the park closed, and all agreed that it was a wonderful night. The next day, we had plans to go visit my grandmother (no blood relation to M, but they were close when M was a child) and see my mom's grave. We were expected at Grandma's at 2 pm.

Coming Up: Day Seven, To Grandmother's House We Go...Or Do We?

[JLTraveling]

Too Good to Be True?
After a shockingly good night at HHN, I was guardedly optimistic. Perhaps we really had resolved our issues and could go on to salvage a great vacation. Dad didn't think it would last, but we were both determined to do our part.

We got a disturbing phone call at 10:30 am, though we actually didn't awaken and get to the phone in time. According to the voicemail from my Uncle W (mom's brother), Grandma was in the emergency room. She wanted him to let us know not to come visit. She was in the hospital a few weeks ago with severe vertigo, and she hadn't felt right since. At breakfast that morning she had felt ill and extremely weak and dizzy, so they called an ambulance (Grandma is in an assisted living facility, though at the least restrictive level. She has a gorgeous apartment in a lovely building that reminds me of a classy cruise ship). Wes said she was okay and feeling a bit better, but would be in the hospital overnight.

Now What?
Despite knowing ahead of time that we were due at Grandma's at 2 pm, and not knowing that she had been hospitalized, M and J slept until 1:30. We would have awakened them for the trip, but let them sleep since we weren't going anyway. Still, it bothered me that they said they wanted to see Grandma, and then didn't get up.

Once they were up, we told M and J about Grandma. We had talked to her, and she was feeling a lot better. She wanted us to stop by, but not until she was out of the ER and in a regular room. So we told her we would talk to them and figure out a plan.

Plan B? C? Z? Who Knows Anymore?
Monica had been wanting to try again with Downtown Disney. She really wanted to hit Marketplace, so we decided to go there first. Then we would head to Lakeland to see Grandma and visit Mom's grave.

We left the condo at nearly 4 pm. Are you sensing a pattern here? Anyway, we went to Earl of Sandwich, which M had loved when she was down in March. She still loved it. J thought it was okay, but said he had yet to eat a meal that could beat the sandwich at the Contempo Cafe on Day Two :confused3

It turns out that M only had two Marketplace destinations in mind: the $10 store and World of Disney. She bought presents for her kids at the $10 store, but got weird in WoD. All of a sudden, she didn't want to look at anything or let J look at anything. She walked quickly through the main part of the store and back outside again. I didn't even ask, I just moved on.

Dad talked them into going into Once Upon a Toy. He thought they might like stuff for their kids (or even themselves). Both went back into eye-rolling, foot stamping mode, so we got them out of there quick.

Dad and I then told them we were stopping for drinking chocolate at Ghiradelli's. It's not hot chocolate, with milk, it's just literally like drinking a candy bar. We think it's the greatest stuff in the world! M and J were hesitant, but they ended up buying one. They loved it, just like we thought they would. :woohoo:

It's Only a 40 Minute Drive!
It was around 6 pm, and everyone was ready for the Lakeland trip. Still driving two cars, we headed out. On I-4, we wound up in a MASSIVE traffic jam. We found out on the news later that there had been an 18-car pileup :scared1: Even creepier, it had happened just about the time we would have been there if we hadn't done Once Upon a Toy and Ghiradelli. :eek: Yikes, someone was looking out for us that day!

We got on I-4 shortly before 6:30 with an ETA at the hospital of 7:10. At 7:45, when we'd gone less than four miles :scared1: M called to ask if we still wanted to go. She said S would take her to Mom's grave. I explained that since she hadn't been able to come to the funeral, I really wanted to share Mom's grave with her, rather than her having that moment with S. In a rare bit of understanding and compassion, she agreed. We knew we would miss visiting hours at the hospital, so Dad called W and asked him to explain to Grandma why we couldn't come.

We finally made it to the cemetery after 8:30 pm. We had to use a flashlight, but thankfully the cemetery was still open. M cried, I cried, Dad cried a little, and even J's eyes were a bit watery. It was a truly meaningful moment and, despite everything, I was glad I shared it with M. I broke down in the car on the way home, dealing with feelings I thought had long been dealt with (it's been almost five years now).

Yet Another New Plan
When we got home, M decided she wanted to plan out the next day in advance. She got out the guide map and Times Guide for DHS, and we actually managed to plan out the entire day without arguing at all. Maybe we would be able to pull it off after all!

Coming Up: Day Eight, Turning Over a New Leaf at DHS

[JLTraveling]

Will She or Won't She? Only Her Hairdresser Knows For Sure
As far as Dad was concerned, DHS was the true test of whether things had been resolved. It was the first full park day since the massive blowup, and he was now utterly convinced that M's emotions spun on a dime. I was feeling fairly confident, but not completely trusting. Everyone was up and out pretty early though, which I took as a good sign. We arrived shortly after 9 am.

As always, M and J took their own car. Dad and I discovered when we arrived that the outlet he had his scooter plugged into at the condo didn't work :eek: so he immediately took it to ECV Rental. They allowed him to plug it in, but meanwhile, Dad was without a scooter. I tried to get him to rent one, but he was stubborn :sad2:

We went to Starring Rolls, because Dad really wanted a lox, bagel and cream cheese sandwich. Unfortunately, they no longer sell those :sad1: So we made do with pastries and orange juice, and got moving.

How Did I Know This Would Happen?
Sunset Blvd was our first stop. We wanted to go ahead and get M on ToT, which she had been talking about nonstop since they arrived, as well as RnRC. Predictably, J took one look at ToT and said no way. He absolutely would not ride it, no matter what. Equally predictably, M begged, pleaded and cajoled, and then got angry. To her credit, despite being upset, she eventually backed off and went on the ride with Dad and me. I skipped RnRC to hang out with J, because I felt bad for him. I didn't want to abandon him for two rides in a row.

M had absolutely no memory of RnRC, despite it previously being one of her favorite rides. She and Dad had a great time on it, and I'm kind of glad they got to ride something alone. Amazingly, she had decided the night before to see Beauty and the Beast (What? A SHOW?), but our show time wasn't until 12:45. We had an 11:25 reservation at Sci-Fi, one of the only requests she had made before the trip. Between rides, cajoling, and smoke breaks, it was already almost 11:00, so we stopped for another cig and then picked up Dad's scooter. It didn't have nearly a full charge yet, but it was in decent shape. We wandered over to Sci-Fi, and he plugged it again just outside.

Another Successful Meal
M and J both LOVED the restaurant. Absolutely everything about it was wonderful to them. Dad and I enjoy it, and hadn't been there in awhile, so it was fun for us as well. We sat and talked and laughed at the old film clips, and genuinely had a good time :dance3: Dad and I split the ribs, and M and J split a turkey sandwich, plain.

After lunch and yet another cig, we did GMR. M remembered most of it and was excited to do it again. Dad and I were heroes because we pointed out a couple of Hidden Mickeys (turns out M adores Hidden Mickeys), and they both loved the ride. It's one of my favorites as well.

What? They're Actually Listening to Us?
We then detoured to Toy Story, which was decidedly NOT on M's agenda. But she remembered that if anyone wanted to do something, everyone else had to either go along or sit and wait. Since it was air conditioned, they decided to go along. To their shock and amazement :scared1: they actually loved it! :yay: They were SO glad we had "talked them into it."

Next up was the 12:45 Beauty and the Beast. J didn't comment either way, but M said it was really cute. I thought it was funny that she liked it that much, because I'm the "show" person and I think it's too saccharine; she hates shows and she loved it :confused3 Go figure!

Next up was Indiana Jones at 2:00, so we headed to Star Tours first. J was scared to death, but he got on it without too much complaining. He was white-knuckled during the ride, but afterward he thought it was awesome. They both got a kick out of Tattooine Traders as well.

M remembered some of Indiana Jones, and said it was even better than she remembered. J wasn't real impressed, but he said it was all right. I was quickly learning that from J, that's a compliment :thumbsup2

Dad and I decided to do the Muppets, and offered to do it while M and J were in the 4:30 Lights, Motors, Action. But since there was time to spare anyway, they decided to do it. Both thought they would hate it, since they're not Muppet fans, but both were impressed by the special effects. They thanked us for taking them in.

M remembered the old Backstage Studio Tour (the two-hour version with the walking portion, back when the tram went down New York Street and Residential Street still existed). We warned her that it had gotten extremely watered down and that she might be disappointed. She insisted on doing it anyway and was, indeed, disappointed. To her credit, though, she said, "You did try to tell me. That was my own fault." They were both highly unimpressed with the AFI Villains exhibit, which Dad and I adore. But to each their own, right?

The Big Thrill
Finally it was time for Lights, Motors, Action. Dad and I are not big car people, and we rarely take time out for this show. Both M and J were super-excited though, and we were glad they were happy. As it turns out, they were utterly enthralled. Both spent most of the show with their mouths hanging open, soaking it all in. Afterward, J said it was his favorite thing of the entire trip. M said it was second-best after ToT. Boy am I glad we did that one!

By this point, M and J were starting to drag. We picked up Dad's scooter, which had a nearly full charge by this point. We got snacks and relaxed a bit. M wanted to ride ToT and RnRC again, and swore up and down that J had promised to go with her. I had overheard him teasing her, but absolutely no promises that he would actually go.

She Just Doesn't Let Up
So we headed back down to Sunset. We got to ToT and M grabbed J's hand and said, "Let's go." He said, "No. I'm not riding it." That set M off completely. They got into a massive argument about trust and promises and lying and all kinds of fun stuff. A random family overheard me calmly explaining the ride to J, who asked me to specifically describe it, and asked me to explain it to their daughter.

Apparently the girl, who looked about eight or nine, had gotten all the way to the elevator and then chickened out. I sat down with her on the curb and told her all about the ride. She had already done Mission:Space Orange Side, and I told her Mission:Space was the scariest thing at Disney. If she had already done that, then ToT would be nothing. She listened intently, but decided she still didn't want to go :sad1: Oh well, at least I tried, right?

Meanwhile, M and J continued to argue for over 40 minutes. Dad and I walked away and sat and chatted on our own. Eventually M stormed up to us and said, "Well, let's go. He's a (expletive, expletive, expletive), but that's okay. I'll remember that whenever HE wants something." I didn't feel like listening to her complain through the entire line, so I said I was dizzy and sat down with J. My poor dad was a trooper, despite having back pain from walking so much that day. He took M on the ride, and then on RnRC again. M actually called J from the ToT queue to yell at him some more, but didn't even try on RnRC.

M and J continued to snipe on the boat all the way to the Boardwalk. We had reservations at Kouzzina, the new Cat Cora restaurant, and I was not about to give them up. I did tell M and J that they didn't have to go, but they tagged along.

Can't Take Them Anywhere
We wandered the Boardwalk for a few minutes. At around 8:15, J wanted us to ask if we could be seated early for our 9:00 reservation. As I suspected, the restaurant was booked solid. We were allowed to go ahead and check in, and given a beeper, but we were told that we shouldn't expect to be seated until 9:00.

Dad and I watched a couple of street performers while M and J bickered. Then all of a sudden, they were over it and ready to rent one of those multiple passenger Surrey bikes. M asked if we wanted to come, so we did. We should have said no. Turns out she was only asking to be polite. Again, I wish she would say what she means. We rode around the lagoon loop, M complaining the entire time about having to pedal. Um, how do you think a bicycle works? We returned the bike and she started whining about how it was supposed to be romantic, and it wasn't supposed to be hard, and blah, blah, blah. J told us it was the worst experience of his life. Wish I had such a charmed life that pedaling a Surrey bike around a lagoon at Disney was my worst experience ever.

Finally it was time for Kouzzina. I was really excited to try the restaurant, since I absolutely love Cat Cora. Dad asked if Cat was there that day, but sadly, she was not. In hindsight, I'm actually really glad she wasn't.

I thought for sure Greek food wasn't that exotic. If worst came to worst, they could have a salad. Well, Dad and I quickly settled on sharing the Goat cheese-stuffed Grape Leaf appetizer, a side of orzo and one of pickled beets on mashed potatoes (served cold) with the appetizer, and the Pastitio entree. Pastitio is a Greek lasagna with a cinnamon-stewed meat sauce.

After much debate and asking the waiter what other salad dressings they had :scared1: (Come on, this is fine dining, not your neighborhood Shoney's!), M and J finally decided on a Greek salad and steak. They ordered the steak plain and the salad dressing on the side. The waiter pointedly ignored the large bag of cotton candy M had set on the floor beside her chair.

There went all pretense of normal fine dining etiquette. I tried to slink down in my seat, while Dad laughed and joked it off with the waiter. It only got better when M called her kids and loudly discussed with the babysitter (after our bread and black sea salt butter were delivered :eek:) how the 2 year old now goes poopy in the potty!

I gave up and quietly thanked God that the family next to us (with very well-behaved children) was raptly focused on their own meal and not paying attention. Nonetheless, I was determined to get full enjoyment out of my dinner.

Dad and I ordered coffee and dessert (a molten chocolate cake). M and J declined. To her credit, after she saw I was getting embarrassed, M tried to make more polite conversation. She also tried to remain at the table while we finished. J couldn't wait though. He HAD to smoke a cigarette. So they left the table to go smoke, and came back just as we were paying the check.

The boats had long since stopped running back to DHS, so M and J decided to grab a cab. Dad and I walked back (well, I walked, he rolled) along the walking path. We asked if they wanted to join us, but they couldn't fathom voluntarily walking for 20 minutes.

When we got home, they were locked in their room, using the jacuzzi tub. The next day was Dad's Amazing Race birthday adventure, so I really wanted to discuss the plan. I pounded on their door and eventually got a response, but they didn't actually emerge until an hour later.

M wanted to do everything in Future World and nothing in the World Showcase. Dad wanted to do some things in World Showcase as well as Food and Wine. I was too tired to argue with anybody, so after waiting up for them for an hour, we decided to play it by ear.

Coming up: Day 9, An Amazing Birthday Race and the Final Meltdown.

[canoe86]

I'm sure the family next to you did hear her. If you said they were wll behaved kids......you didn't say the age.....but my kids from about age 3 or 4 know how to behave, and more importantly, recognize improper behavior at restaurants.

The last 2 days sound a bit better......or should I say at least no worse. I wonder .....why did you bother? I understand they are family and all.....but after the 2nd days of it, I think I would have told them to can it. There is some people you just can't reach.

[CowboysButterfly]

Okay, coffee in hand and waiting patiently for Day 9....and really can you say multiple personalities :crazy2: :dance3:....If I didn't know better I would swear you went with my sister.....I feel your pain. Here you need this,:hug: I know I need one and I have only been reading it not living it.

[JimR24]

Wow. Sounds like you were vacationing with a couple of fruit loops.

[JLTraveling]

I'm sure the family next to you did hear her. If you said they were wll behaved kids......you didn't say the age.....but my kids from about age 3 or 4 know how to behave, and more importantly, recognize improper behavior at restaurants.

The last 2 days sound a bit better......or should I say at least no worse. I wonder .....why did you bother? I understand they are family and all.....but after the 2nd days of it, I think I would have told them to can it. There is some people you just can't reach.

Oh, I know that the people near us actually did notice. At that point I just wanted to engage in wishful thinking. I was in utter shock. M had spent entire summers with us as a child, and had always behaved extremely well in restaurants. I had absolutely no clue that she had deteriorated so badly, or I never would have imposed her on everyone else. Since she's not a child though, once we were in the situation, I had no idea how to get out of it.

Honestly, there were a couple of reasons that we kept trying. One is that M had an absolute fountain of banked goodwill with both of us. She was a sister to me and a second daughter to my parents when we were both kids. She was an absolutely wonderful child--sweet and loving and kind and considerate, and extremely well-behaved. So all of this took us completely by surprise, and we kept thinking we would get to the bottom of it and get M back.

The other reason was more selfish. For eight months, I had a paid, nonrefundable reservation for an Amazing Birthday Race for my dad through Gifts of a Lifetime. When the trip was postponed with less than a week's notice, they very graciously allowed us to postpone the Race without paying a change fee. For the final gift, M and I had split the cost on a Horizons Engineering Manual from MouseSurplus. It was the perfect present for my father, a retired Dept of Defense engineer. But M had ordered it and had it delivered to her house, and brought it with her from TN. It was hidden away in her luggage. So I was determined to keep everybody together until we could do the Birthday Race and give Dad the present.

[canoe86]

Oh, I know that the people near us actually did notice. At that point I just wanted to engage in wishful thinking. I was in utter shock. Monica had spent entire summers with us as a child, and had always behaved extremely well in restaurants. I had absolutely no clue that she had deteriorated so badly, or I never would have imposed her on everyone else. Since she's not a child though, once we were in the situation, I had no idea how to get out of it.

Honestly, there were a couple of reasons that we kept trying. One is that Monica had an absolute fountain of banked goodwill with both of us. She was a sister to me and a second daughter to my parents when we were both kids. She was an absolutely wonderful child--sweet and loving and kind and considerate, and extremely well-behaved. So all of this took us completely by surprise, and we kept thinking we would get to the bottom of it and get Monica back.

The other reason was more selfish. For eight months, I had a paid, nonrefundable reservation for an Amazing Birthday Race for my dad through Gifts of a Lifetime. When the trip was postponed with less than a week's notice, they very graciously allowed us to postpone the Race without paying a change fee. For the final gift, Monica and I had split the cost on a Horizons Engineering Manual from MouseSurplus. It was the perfect present for my father, a retired Dept of Defense engineer. But Monica had ordered it and had it delivered to her house, and brought it with her from TN. It was hidden away in her luggage. So I was determined to keep everybody together until we could do the Birthday Race and give Dad the present.

Well, I hope you did manage to have a nice day for your Dad. Although....I'm not holding out any real hope.

[MouseKTeer]

Oh my goodness, Lisa! I was posting my reply at the same time as you were posting your Day 3. Now that I've read Day 3, all I can say is "wow." We've had some dramatic experiences with our extended family too, but fortunately not on vacation. I hope things got better for you guys! It's good you're a trained therapist :) I'm thinking that's the only way you could remember all the back-and-forth enough to write it down (I'd be working to block it all from my memory :confused:)

Thanks for the info on the condo. It sounds like a good deal--hope your dad gets to take advantage of using the timeshare a lot.

Since you are familiar with the area, where is the MouseSurplus? Is that the Character Warehouse off the next exit or so? Or somewhere different?

[JLTraveling]

Nothing's Going to Ruin This
Despite all of the drama of the previous evening, I awoke extremely excited. My dad is an enormous fan of The Amazing Race :happytv:, and today he was going to live it! I had contracted with Gifts of a Lifetime for a two-hour Amazing Birthday Race through Epcot. The proposal sounded wonderful, but the company handles all of the details. I had filled out long questionnaires and shared quite a bit about Dad, so I was confident that the Race would be tailored to our group. But I had absolutely no idea what we would actually be doing. I had told Dad that something was going to happen that day, and we needed to be at Pin Central at 10:45. We would end up in Canada around 1:00.

M was in high spirits as well. She was so excited to see Dad's face when he found out. J didn't get it at all, despite M having explained in detail multiple times. But he was willing to go along, which was good enough.

We took both cars, and actually made it to Epcot by 9:30 am. M paid a lot of extra attention to my dad, telling everyone that it was his birthday celebration and he would be the center of attention all day. We didn't necessarily believe her, but appreciated the sentiment.

Spaceship Earth was at a walk-on, so we hit that first. M was thrilled, J thought it was okay. Good enough. Moving on. Next up was Soarin', which M and J both absolutely adored. I was surprised how much he loved it, but they both said they wanted to ride again if there was time later. Shockingly, M didn't insist on riding again NOW!

By this point, it was around 10:30. Supposed to be at Pin Central at 10:45. The event was to officially start at 11:00. Suddenly J wanted iced mocha. Dad suggested we swing through Club Cool, and then grab the mocha. Nope, uh-uh, no way. J wanted iced mocha NOW! So we went to Fountainview. Oops, it doesn't open until 11:00. See the dilemma?

M tried to explain to J that the event couldn't be delayed. I told him we would be more than happy to get anything he wanted to drink that was obtainable at the moment, and then get an iced mocha after the Race. That's when he came out with, "I'm not on a schedule." I was beyond mad, but determined that nothing was going to ruin Dad's Race. So I kept my mouth shut. M and J started arguing.

At 10:43, they were still going at it, so I said, "(expletive) both of you. I paid $400 for this, it's a huge deal to me and my dad, and we're going to do it. You do whatever you like." Dad and I headed to Pin Central and watched the Fountain of Nations show. M followed, and within a couple of minutes, so did J. I vowed to ignore them if necessary and focus on giving my father a wonderful birthday present.

A bit of history. Dad and I are both hugely into surprises, both giving and receiving. So every holiday, we constantly try to one-up each other (in a fun way, not a mean-spirited way). I was pretty sure that this one would trump everything.

An Amazing Birthday Race
***Spoilers Ahead***
***Skip to the next section if you don't want details on the event***








At 10:55, we were approached by a red-headed woman wearing jean shorts and flip flops. She walked up to my father and asked, "Are you Andy?" She then introduced herself as Pat, and asked if he was familiar with The Amazing Race, and explained that he was on an Amazing Birthday Race. There would be clues to find, tasks to perform, and puzzles to solve. The Race would cover 11 countries and he would have exactly two hours to complete it, or she would get his present!! :rotfl: She handed us an autograph book and pen, and the first clue. It took a few moments for Dad to pick his jaw up off the ground. He was literally in shock, but managed to focus on the task at hand. On your mark, get set, go! And we were off.

The first task was to collect autographs from two Cast Members in different locations in Future World, and then find the planter outside Monorail Pylon 206 for our next clue. After getting autographs at MouseGear and Pin Central, we got lost looking for the monorail pylon, but eventually located the planter and the next clue.

The Race was simply incredible! There were a surprising number of tasks packed into the two hours, which kept us moving fast and made the whole thing legitimately feel like a race. Besides the "talk to Cast Members and locate clues" tasks, they also included a Roadblock and a Detour. For the Roadblock, I had to belly dance for a full 60 seconds inside the Fez House in Morocco! I drew a bit of a crowd, and at precisely 60 seconds, a woman with a shopping bag approached me with the next clue!

In Germany, the clue hidden behind a green pickle ornament had $2 taped to the back. The clue said to go to Italy, find out what a "dolce" was, and use the money to purchase one and consume it. It turns out that a "dolce" is a sweet, so we ran to the counter and told the Cast Member we needed a sweet for less than $2. We ended up with a chocolate gold coin that we all shared.

In Japan, we had to stop and sit with Pat, the pixie in charge of our event. Since Dad's diabetic, she had thoughtfully brought a green tea with no sugar added for a refresher. We then had to answer a bunch of trivia questions before we could proceed! She had warned us at the beginning that throughout the Race, people would try to delay us. During this stop, she did her best, chatting about rides and things. We caught on pretty quickly, said our goodbyes and took off again.

All of the tasks were extremely well-thought out and very engaging. A few things were specifically addressed to myself, M, or J, making us all an actual part of the Race. I couldn't be happier with Pat and all the pixies that made it happen!

M did a great job taking photos and documenting everything in the autograph book as it happened. That book became a great souvenir, and I really appreciate all of her hard work.

The very last clue sent us to Canada. The task was to race up the stairs or the ramp to the phone booth, get inside and shut the door to stop the clock. We were literally down to the wire on time. Unfortunately, there was a food stall just inside Canada, which sold mocha. Remember that iced mocha J wanted? Yep, you guessed it. He stopped. Dad, M and I ran up the stairs and saw Pat. She said, "Where's J?" We said, "Getting a freaking mocha." She said, "Everyone has to be in the phone booth with the door closed to stop the clock. You have two minutes left."

So M and I bolted back down the stairs and screamed for J, who had just finished paying for the mocha. She grabbed his hand and we all bolted back up the stairs, him dripping mocha the whole way. We packed the phone booth and shut the door just as time was up!

Okay J, I get it. You've wanted iced mocha for two hours. Couldn't you have waited literally another two minutes to get it?!?!?! I was not real thrilled about that, but I let it go since we made it (barely). Anyway, Pat did an awesome recap of our adventures and brought out the other pixies that had made it happen. They presented Dad with a very nice laminated certificate, and told him that his present would be waiting at the condo. Many hugs and cheers were shared.

Epcot for People Who Hate Epcot
We were all hot, sweaty, and wiped out after our adventure. So we decided to head back to The Land to relax in A/C and get some lunch. We had stopped briefly for a pastry at Norway, but had been jokingly chided by Pat for taking a break in the middle of a Race, so we really needed to eat.

Lunch went okay. I thought M and J would want to chat about the Race, which Dad and I were doing nonstop. But they were scrolling through the pictures on their camera, particularly those of their kids. So Dad and I talked, and they went through photos, which was okay. At least nobody was mad. Yet.

I thought we would go back on Soarin' while were literally right there. But first M and J had to smoke. So we hiked ALL the way back out of the pavilion and over to the smoking area near Imagination. Since we were already out, Dad suggested we do a few other things first, then come back to Soarin'. Big mistake. In the first display of clear-cut decision making in nine days, J burst out with, "We're. Riding. Soarin'. NOW!" Okay, no problem. Thanks for speaking up, right? We headed back to Soarin'.

The ride was just as fun the second time around, and everyone seemed to be having a good time. After it ended, I made the suggestion that we take the boat across the lagoon. J is a huge American history buff, or so we had been told by both of them, and he had been amazed by HoP. So I thought he'd really love American Adventure.

M really wanted to see the Chinese acrobats. I suggested we take the boat over and walk back, catching the acrobats on the way by. That was no good. She wanted to see acrobats first. Okay, so we'll walk. No problem, I was just trying to save your legs.

M was overawed by the acrobats. I like them a lot myself. J had no comment, which I was quickly taking as a good sign. At least he didn't complain, even when the broiling sun came out from behind a cloud.

M wanted to see the 3:30 Voices of Liberty, but it was already 3:20 and I didn't want to hear Jonathan (or her, for that matter) complain about a fast walk. So I suggested we hold off until the 4:15, and browse a bit in the shops in China.

How can a shopper hate those stores? I thought she'd be intrigued. Nope, she was too busy stamping her feet, rolling her eyes, and complaining. So we did the fast walk and got her out of there.

We stopped to smoke in Italy. Well, Dad and I went to the smoking area. M and J decided to smoke on a bench in a non-smoking area facing Sergio. Now, I had tried to get M interested in Sergio when we were looking through the Times Guide the night before, and she just rolled her eyes. But now that it was HER idea, she loved him.

After Sergio, we went to the American Adventure. We'd missed the 3:30 Voices of Liberty, but the 3:45 theater show was loading. So we decided to catch the show, and then try to see Voices of Liberty at 4:15.

Like I said earlier, J's supposedly a history buff. I thought he'd love the show. He loved the air conditioning. They both fell sound asleep! :confused3::scared1: Afterwards, we were informed that it was "boring" and "stupid."

At this point, everyone just started wandering. Every single one of us was annoyed, and no one wanted to take the lead. We ended up back in Italy at, where else, the smoking area. They became enthralled by Sergio again, who was doing his next set. I realized it was 4:45 and the World Showcase Players were starting at 5:00. Dad and I both love the show, and frankly didn't care what M and J wanted at that point. So we told them we were sticking around, and they could do whatever they wanted.

While we waited, we discussed that evening's plan. M really wanted to see Fantasmic, which she swears she's never seen (another one that used to be a favorite, but she now has no memory of). So we were going to go back to DHS for the 9:30 Fantasmic. There was also an 8:00, but she still wanted to do a few things at Epcot, so I told her we'd never make it.

Remember last night's fight between M and J because he refused to do ToT and RnRC? Well, for whatever reason, they both agreed that he had promised her at some point that he would do them tonight. So Dad and I offered to hold spots in the Fantasmic line while they went to those two rides (Please don't flame me, I don't agree with holding spots in the Fantasmic line myself, but after the trip from you know where, it was an attempt at keeping the peace).

Everyone agreed that was the plan. At 5:00, Dad and I went to sit at the rope for World Showcase Players. We tried to wave M and J over. The actors tried to wave M and J over. They were sitting in chairs directly behind the performance space. They refused to come over, and spent the entire show talking to each other. Whatever, Dad and I had a great time.

The Final Meltdown
When the show ended, we all got on the boat to Future World. Dad was directed inside with the ECV. M and J sat outside. I had learned by this point that whenever they withdrew from the group, there was trouble brewing.

Sure enough, we got off the boat and they started speed-walking, completely ignoring Dad and me. When J stopped for another mocha, I pulled M aside and asked what was going on. "Oh, nothing. We're fine." "Are you sure? For nine days, this has generally meant that someone was not happy." "Nope, we're good."

M told me that they were tired and had decided to skip Fantasmic. They wanted to do Test Track and Mission: Space, and then go back to DHS for ToT and RnRC, but not stay for Fantasmic. I reminded M that it was my dad's birthday celebration, and that he would be disappointed if she didn't see Fantasmic with him, but I told her we understood if they were simply too tired.

It then occurred to me that Dad and I see Fantasmic a lot. It was no big deal to us, beyond wanting to share it with them. If we went and they didn't, then we'd be home pretty late. Monica had really, really wanted to be a part of giving my dad his birthday gift (the Horizons Engineering Manual). I didn't want her to either have to wait up, or fall asleep and miss it.

That's when I made my fatal mistake. I suggested that we all just skip Fantasmic, maybe even skip going back to DHS altogether, and head home early. Dad and I had bought porterhouse steaks, intending to have a cookout one night at the condo. We had a couple of videos and a game that everyone had expressed interest in. I thought maybe we could go home, have some family birthday time, and still let them get to bed early to rest up. The next two days were going to be AK and the Wishes Dessert Party, and then Islands of Adventure, so I thought they might appreciate the rest.

In a tone of complete venom and hatred, M spat, "We can't do that." I said, "Why not?" She said, "My husband is taking me to the Olive Garden tonight!"

Um, excuse me, okay, what?!?! First of all, there's an Olive Garden down the street from your house. There are Olive Gardens all over Lakeland, where you're going to spend several days with your father. Tonight's not exactly your only chance to go the Olive Garden, not to mention we were all just there less than a week ago!

Secondly, you made a big point out of today being my father's birthday celebration. You made a big deal out of displaying his present on the table in a nice decorative arrangement after he left the house this morning. You wanted to be involved with the whole birthday, or so you said. Now we have to stay out of the house while you guys go to dinner, so that we can then do birthday when you're ready to do it???

Third and most importantly, you weren't just up front and honest. You didn't say, "Hey Lisa, I know it's your dad's birthday and all, but we're really exhausted and wanting comfort food. How would it be if we took a little time out to go to dinner on our own, and then met back up to finish the birthday?" Instead, you lied and manipulated like you always do, made this Olive Garden thing into your little secret, and then didn't know what to do when your secret got busted.

Needless to say, I was enraged. It wasn't even the Olive Garden per se, it was that on top of everything else that had been going on for over a week. I thanked M for finally being honest and told her that it simply wasn't going to work any longer. She then spat back that they had just been putting on happy faces and allowing us to drag them through the parks, and they weren't going to do it any more. (Have you looked in a mirror? This is a happy face? I'd hate to see an angry face!)

The Second Amazing Race
At this point, Dad and I looked at each other, and locked eyes in silent understanding. There wasn't any more to give. There wasn't any more point to continuing. We had been told in no uncertain terms exactly what they thought of us, and exactly what they expected out of this trip. And we were unwilling to continue being used and taken advantage of any longer.

I told M calmly and quietly, but firmly, that was it. There were two more days left in the trip, both to parks that she had never seen (AK and IOA) that she was really looking forward to. But she was no longer doing it on our dime. I told her that they were welcome to spend the night, but they needed to leave in the morning.

J shot back that they were leaving that night. I told him that was fine. I said, "I'm sorry it has to end this way, but it has to end. None of us can take this any more." They asked for directions to the park exit (we were standing on the main World Showcase bridge), and we gave them. M and J flounced off in entirely the wrong direction, towards The Seas.

That gave me the moment I needed. Remember that Horizons Engineering Manual that M and I split the cost on for Dad's birthday? It had been in her luggage all week, but that morning, just before we left the condo, she and I had laid out on the dining table in a nice display. I knew M would try to take it, so I needed us to beat them home.

I told Dad we needed to leave quickly, so we sprinted (well, he rolled at top speed) out of Epcot. We took the back roads and made it to the condo first. I flipped the book open long enough to show him what it was, and he was thrilled! No time to enjoy it, though, as we loaded it into the car. We also loaded up my computer, our collectible Figment, and a few other things we thought M might steal or destroy.

They came in about ten minutes behind us and starting packing up. We sat on the porch and watched them. They took the Mickey ears we had given them, the pound of fudge that was supposed to be for everyone, and the handful of groceries that they had bought (though they had freely eaten everything we had bought all week). Dad followed J out to the car to get our condo keys back. In hindsight, I wish I had gotten the park tickets back, but at the time I never thought about it.

That was it. Dad told J he was sorry it turned out like this, and J gave no response. M never even looked at either of us. They drove away, Dad closed the door, and we both breathed a huge sigh of relief. We were just so glad it was over.

Coming up: A Retrospective and What We Learned

[canoe86]

Some things I've learned........you gave them about 8 days too many of chances. :lmao:

[MouseKTeer]

Now caught up with Days 4-9. Man, it has sounded like a Herculean exercise in patience. Sorry things didn't work out as you had hoped when you were planning months ago. :sad2:

[bob6sims]

You deserve a medal for your patience :goodvibes

Next time just go yourselves :cool1:

[mla1977]

Wow! I can't believe that you had to deal with that on your vacation. Do you think it would have been better if it was just her and not a "make it or break it" trip for them?

[stacopp]

Holy crap! You win! My family meltdowns were no where near this bad- I really don't know how you managed to stomach all the drama! Congrats for getting through it and here's hoping you and your dad have a wonderful vacation in the future to make up for all of this.

[MrsSpratt]

It's the Final Meltdown doot-de-doooo Doot-de-do-do-do Doot-de-do-dooo Doot-de-doot-de-dooo

Sorry.

Wow. I'm kinda' shocked, I have to say....is it possible (please don't flame me) that Monica and Jonathan have a substance abuse problem? This is just so unreal! And very, very nightmarish! I am so sorry this happened!

Best,

Mrs. Spratt

[KELSTER]

I don't post alot, but did want to respond to your trip report.

You have more patience than I'll ever have. After the first tantrum/mood swing I would have asked if she'd taken her meds :rotfl:

Second, my dd12 LOVES the Amazaing Race. Is there an age limit? Could both of us get it done in the time period?

Hugs for both you and your dad.

[kindra657]

I'm just chiming in at the tail end of this and I'm sitting at my computer angry!! :mad:

I HATE when people are unappreciative!! In 2007, we took both of my sisters to disney (16 & 21). We decided to take the 21 year old with us out of pity because it was near her birthday. I should've known better. She's irresponsible, ungrateful, and a snot. She complained the whole time and ruined our trip! She didn't have to pay 1 dime for the trip and I promised myself I would never be used again. I know how I felt from this experience and 2.5 years later, I still get a sour taste in my mouth! :sick: I understand how you feel and I must say, you are much more patient than me! :eek:

Also, I want to add this: after reading through your posts on this trip I realized something: Disney holds a special place in your heart, your father's heart, and you are a person who cares a lot about others and likes to share...you automatically want to share youf love for Disney with others. I figured this out because you are a lot like me: you will do things you really don't care to do just to see other people's happiness. You get full enjoyment from doing things for other people and making them happy. When you are on the giving end and the person on the receiving end is unappreciative, rude, and downright mean, it hurts even worse. There's nothing wrong with being that type of person and don't let a bad trip change that about you! You need a special DiS :hug:

[AnnetteF]

Wow! This brings the problems with traveling with relatives to a whole new level. Sorry this happened to you. Hope your next trip is perfectly magical!

[JLTraveling]

I'm just chiming in at the tail end of this and I'm sitting at my computer angry!! :mad:

I HATE when people are unappreciative!! In 2007, we took both of my sisters to disney (16 & 21). We decided to take the 21 year old with us out of pity because it was near her birthday. I should've known better. She's irresponsible, ungrateful, and a snot. She complained the whole time and ruined our trip! She didn't have to pay 1 dime for the trip and I promised myself I would never be used again. I know how I felt from this experience and 2.5 years later, I still get a sour taste in my mouth! :sick: I understand how you feel and I must say, you are much more patient than me! :eek:

Also, I want to add this: after reading through your posts on this trip I realized something: Disney holds a special place in your heart, your father's heart, and you are a person who cares a lot about others and likes to share...you automatically want to share youf love for Disney with others. I figured this out because you are a lot like me: you will do things you really don't care to do just to see other people's happiness. You get full enjoyment from doing things for other people and making them happy. When you are on the giving end and the person on the receiving end is unappreciative, rude, and downright mean, it hurts even worse. There's nothing wrong with being that type of person and don't let a bad trip change that about you! You need a special DiS :hug:

This. You just completely hit the nail right on the head. A lot of posters have asked how Dad and I could possibly put up with as much as we did. You nailed it precisely: despite everything, we genuinely wanted them to have a good time. For us, it wasn't about our trip. We've both done Disney a lot. The only part that was for us was the birthday. Everything else was for them. We love watching people have a good time, and we were perfectly willing to do whatever was going to make them happy. Unfortunately, they were just determined to be miserable and to make everyone else miserable in the process. And you're right, that hurts. A lot. Big DIS hugs to you too :hug: Let me know when you'll be down again, perhaps we could meet up!!

KELSTER: It sounds like the Amazing Race would be perfect for you and your daughter! The company, Gifts of a Lifetime, completely tailors each and every event to the particular group. From what I understand, there is no age limit to participate as long as an adult is involved. The main event recipient must be at least 5 years old. I would think that for a 12-year-old's event, the Race might be slightly easier (less obscure clues, possibly one or two fewer tasks). It will also be customized to your daughter's knowledge/familiarity with Disney, likes/dislikes, how outgoing she is, etc. I would definitely go to their website and fill out the pre-event questionnaire (http://giftsofalifetime.com/questionnaire.html). There's no obligation, and they'll create a couple of proposals for you based on your answers.

Also, in case anyone is curious, Amazing Race is just one of their themes. We were also offered a Survivor event, complete with tribal council and reward challenges. I know there are a bunch of others as well. I don't mean to sound like an advertisement, I was just so incredibly impressed with the professionalism and amount of work that they did. I couldn't be happier!

[JLTraveling]

Oh my goodness, Lisa! I was posting my reply at the same time as you were posting your Day 3. Now that I've read Day 3, all I can say is "wow." We've had some dramatic experiences with our extended family too, but fortunately not on vacation. I hope things got better for you guys! It's good you're a trained therapist :) I'm thinking that's the only way you could remember all the back-and-forth enough to write it down (I'd be working to block it all from my memory :confused:)

Thanks for the info on the condo. It sounds like a good deal--hope your dad gets to take advantage of using the timeshare a lot.

Since you are familiar with the area, where is the MouseSurplus? Is that the Character Warehouse off the next exit or so? Or somewhere different?

Writing it all down has actually been really cathartic for me. I'm just hoping it hasn't been too emotionally scarring for people to read :scared1: Honestly, if I was reading all of this in somebody else's TR, I'm not sure I would believe it! This is so far outside the normal range of human experience. I've certainly never gone through anything close to this before.

MouseSurplus is different than the Character Warehouse. It's down in Haines City. The best way to get there is Hwy 192 to Hwy 27, turn left and go about 12 miles or so. There's a map on the website. It's a neat place. They salvage props, costumes, hotel furniture, anything that Disney would otherwise dump when they refurbish, and sell it as-is for very reasonable prices. We got a black and white Captain EO photo and an opening day Epcot guide, with a paper picture frame featuring the pre-AK three parks logo thrown in, a few days after Michael Jackson died, for $30 total! Sometimes they have really big things too, like a Horizons ride vehicle ($10,000!) or a monorail car (don't remember what that sold for). It's a great place to soak in Disney history.

[JLTraveling]

I just read back through my entire TR, and I'm very glad that I did. It helps to put things into perspective and realize that while most of it was the trip from Hades, we did actually manage to have some fun. I daresay that even M and J enjoyed a few things, though I doubt they'll ever admit it.

Whose Fault Was It?
I truly believe that in any negative situation there is fault on all sides. In this case, though, I have to put most of the blame on M. It seems like she determined before they ever got here that J WOULD ride everything she wanted to ride, and WOULD love it just as much as she did. This set up an automatic recipe for failure, because he has what appear to be legitimate phobias of way more things than I could have ever imagined--heights, speed, darkness, roller coasters, just on and on. Remember Day Two? He was terrified of the monorail. He almost had a heart attack on Dumbo on Day Three. I happen to write about phobias for About.com as one of my freelance writing gigs, and the first thing I tell people is that those with phobias CANNOT be forced. You end up doing more psychological damage.

I truly believe that the very final break, the Olive Garden fiasco, was engineered by J out of mounting terror. For two days straight, all he had heard from M was that he HAD to ride ToT and RnRC and he HAD to love them. So he finally told her what she wanted to hear in order to shut her up. Then he spent the entire day dreading the rides and working himself up more and more. He was frantic for an escape route, so he cooked up the Olive Garden plan. Instead of a pansy, a wuss, a loser, a bad father???, and everything else she called him over not going on the rides, he could be a hero by taking her to her favorite restaurant. M's very much of the "bright shiny objects" mentality, so his plan worked like a charm. He "loved" her so much that he was going to take her for her favorite meal. Of course, this is just my impression of what happened.

M controls him in other ways too. Throughout the trip, there were absolutely no souvenirs that J wanted for himself. Then in Arribas Bros, he fell in love with a $7 shot glass. She put her foot down and absolutely FORBID him to buy it...never mind how many hundreds of dollars she'd already spent on herself and the kids, he was NOT "wasting" $7 on a shot glass. Same thing with the HHN express passes. He didn't want to wait in lines, and he wanted to see the houses with us. To him, considering we had paid for the tickets, $130 for two express passes was a reasonable investment. Again, she flatly FORBID him to buy the express passes. She didn't mind waiting in line, and if he didn't like it that was too darn bad for him.

As I said in the TR, when she insisted on seeing how much money was in his wallet, he threw the contents all over the table. I didn't count it, but I would estimate somewhere between a thousand and two thousand dollars of money he had been specifically setting aside for the trip. And everything was paid for, so that was JUST play money. But he wasn't ALLOWED to spend it.

I do think the trip would have been better, not necessarily great but at least tolerable, if it was just one of them. With just M, we could have focused on thrill rides. With just J, we could have made a wide circle around thrill rides. With the two of them at an impasse and neither willing to give, it was an impossible situation. And it became easier for both of them to blame us for somehow creating the impossible situation, rather than deal with their own impasse.

Following My Gut
One of my biggest lessons learned is to trust my own gut. For some reason, I was horribly anxious in the weeks leading up to this trip. Part of it was the ongoing drama we were having with S and his scary girlfriend, and M being nervous about that situation. But there were other things too.

We originally offered to pay for flights. There was an excellent special on Southwest, Nashville to Orlando for $79 pp each way. But because of the way things fell out financially, I needed to get paid before we could book it. My paycheck was delayed by ten days, and the airfare special expired. It would have cost an extra $500 between the two of them :scared1: to fly out of Nashville.

Expecting M to be reasonable, we called to let her know her new options. There was an AirTran special for $59 pp each way out of Knoxville, about three hours away. Or they could drive down and we would pay for their gas.

The entitled child came out then. Instead of being reasonable and discussing options, M flipped out. "We can't fly from Knoxville, we can't afford the gas to get there!!" Um, okay. Should you be going on vacation if you can't afford $15 for gas? "Okay, then why don't you drive and we'll reimburse you for gas?" "J can't drive that long. It hurts his back." Wait a minute, until he got fired for what you told me was having a suspended license (now reinstated, but still on his record), he drove a garbage truck for a living. What do you think he did all day? It came out that we PROMISED them a flight from Nashville, and it didn't matter in the slightest that it would cost $500 extra. Their comfort was all that mattered.

I was absolutely floored. I didn't even know what to say. I suggested to Dad that we simply call off the trip then, but he couldn't fathom that she meant it the way it came out. Frankly, neither could I. So instead, I calmly reiterated their options and told them to discuss it and make a decision. I did make it clear that flying from Nashville was off the table unless they paid the difference.

From that point on, my stomach kept telling me not to go. I have a sensitive stomach, which is the first place that stress always hits me. I had more stomach issues the next week than I've ever had in my life.

Finally, M and J decided to drive. She was absolutely convinced that the drive would take 14 hours each way, and he was convinced that gas would cost $400 each way. :rotfl: I've made that drive a LOT, and I estimated 10 hours of drive time and $100 in gas each way. As it turns out, they got stuck in flooding in Atlanta, which added an hour to the trip. Total drive time with the flood: 11 hours. Total gas cost: $94. Hmm, guess who was right?

I had severe anxiety in the week leading up to the trip. I flatly did NOT want it to happen, and I couldn't figure out why. Every time I've had that feeling and I ignored it, something really bad has happened. Every time, I swear next time I'll listen to my gut. Hopefully this time I actually mean it!

Getting Wrapped Up
Ever hear the expression: "When you're up to your rear end in alligators, it's hard to remember that you only set out to drain the swamp"? That's how it was with this trip. Dad and I set out to give M and J the trip of a lifetime. We knew that was a lofty goal, and would have been perfectly happy with a generally relaxing, overall fun trip. We had no real expectations.

By the end, we were on edge with each other and walking on eggshells to avoid upsetting them. We turned ourselves inside out and upside down in an effort to guess what M and J might want at any given moment and provide it ASAP. It turned us into people that we don't like or respect. But it was all so insidious, so subtle at first, that we didn't realize it was happening. I've definitely learned my lesson on getting too wrapped up in other people.

Trusting Others
I didn't maintain control of what was important to me personally--in this case, my dad's birthday gift. I sent M the money for my half of the present, and let her order it and have it delivered to her house. She maintained control of that gift all the way through the trip, keeping it hidden away in her luggage. That gave her power over us, because I really wanted my dad to get the gift. From now on, I know to keep control over those sorts of things myself.

One thing we did do right was not accepting their offer to simply take their car each day. In actuality, Dad's ECV could have been broken down and thrown in the trunk. It fits just fine into a regular taxi, and M and J have an SUV. But the ECV was a convenient excuse. Dad and I did not give them the power to decide when we went to the parks and, more importantly, when we left each evening.

Just Too Long
Ordinarily, I would not plan an 11 day trip with people I wasn't extremely close to. But Dad and I had spent a week at M and J's house in 2007, and we all had so much fun we extended it by another week. We had every reason to believe that things would go well.

Still, I think I've decided no more long trips with anyone outside my immediate family. IF we ever do anything like this for someone again, we'll plan on four or five days, hitting the highlights. They can do pickups on their own if they want.

In Summary
I want to thank everyone for reading and commenting. It's easy to second-guess yourself when people are screaming at you that you've ruined their lives. It's easy to wonder what you should have done differently, and how such a happy occasion went so horribly wrong. So thank you all for contributing some perspective, and especially for the hugs and well wishes. I don't know where I'd be without my DIS family :grouphug:

It wasn't all bad, and I will take away some happy memories. Will I ever speak to M again? I honestly don't know. The question was raised by a poster here as to whether M and J might have a substance abuse problem. I don't know. I do know that they both claim that until a year or two ago, J was a raging alcoholic and was abusing prescription medications. They both quit drinking altogether, and he has supposedly given up the drugs (for their very young kids).

BUT, they are both currently prescribed WAY more medication than I would expect for their age and general level of health. I do know from watching them that they take their pills pretty liberally, and often share with each other. Could the pills be contributing, and could they be taking way more than they should? Quite possibly, although I want to be clear that I DO NOT have any first-hand knowledge of substance abuse. As far as we're concerned though, even if they do, it's not an excuse. If she comes crying to us about having been in rehab or whatever, we're still not going to be inclined to take her back in.

I don't know at this point what, if anything, either of them could ever do to regain our trust. But they are family, and forever is a long time. I certainly won't be inviting them on any more trips anytime soon though. Unless...what do you guys think? Should we take them on a cruise? :rotfl2:

Thanks again for reading and commenting, and I truly welcome any more thoughts, questions, or concerns!!!

[canoe86]

First, I hope some of my posts haven't been taken as rude or mocking. They weren't meant that way, but came from a state of shock at what happened on your trip. In addition to thinking about how I would have handled it.

Second, the good news for you is, I would think your patience on this trip surely earned you some positive heaven points. :)

[MrsSpratt]

Wow. I, too hope I didn't offend you - but it does sound to me like they are abusing prescriptions which might contribute to their behavior, but isn't the under-lying issue.

I really appreciate your posting your TR. It is making me think long and hard about WDW with anyone besides my DH.

And I am so sorry that you had this experience - but you should be very proud of yourself that you could retain your objectivity in writing this and that you have chosen a healthy, non-destructive method for catharsis.

I hope your next trip with your father is perfect!

Mrs. Spratt

[Pooh's-Honey-Pot]

Goodness!!! Just found your report and read it all the way through. I am so sorry about the hard time they gave you. Unbelievable!!!

You have a great writing style, by the way! Despite finding it traumatic to read, it was also quite enjoyable!!!

[cglaura]

I loved this report, what a great writing style, I bet you love your job!

Just to be an evil :stir: , I'd go back and get that $7 shotglass and send it to Jonathan for Christmas :rotfl2:

[KELSTER]

((HUGS))

First I wanted to comment that I hope I didn't offend you when I said I would have asked her if she had taken her meds. My sis is on some and you can TOTALLY tell when she's not taking them, so that's honestly my first question to her when she's acting weird.

Second, thanks for the info on the Amazing Race! My dd12 and I are sooooo doing it on our 2010 trip. (no 2009 trip, she asked to go to Philly and see the Liberty Bell and Independance Hall. Go figure)

Third, a huge thanks for writing this trip report. It really puts into perspective what everyone goes through on their trips.

I really hope your dad loves his book!

[smylie1]

Talk about timing!! I am having 'momma drama' with my mother this evening. She has called and left several snotty messages on my machine. I decided to try to forget it with alittle DIS and came across your report. Monica sounds like she could be my mother 40 years younger!! I completely understand the hot-cold, up-down, happy-angry, seemingly multiple personality you had to deal with! I'm sorry you went through that, but it really helped me to hear someone else can relate! Thnaks!!

[floydfamily4]

Oh my dear, my dear. I don't even know what to say. I read your entire report and I just wanted to scream "she's toxic - run!" but I know that families can be complicated and you were trying. I can't believe you were trying to be so generous and giving and having it thrown in your face. I'm glad you and your dad had some good times but whew - what a cost. Thanks for sharing and I hope the sharing helped you let some of it go. :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

[Hobbitmomma]

I'm speechless! Truly! Good grief!:scared1:

[mousebymarriage]

WOW:scared1:!!!! I am so sorry the trip you and your dad had so lovingly and thoughtfully planned turned out so bad. I agree with previous posters that I think they have an addiction problem, plus Monica sounds bi-polar to me. I think you showed a tremendous amount of restraint during that trip and I hope you don't blame yourself in any way for the things that transpired. It is clear to me that you did everything possible to make this a wonderful trip for them but, unfortunately I think this trip was doomed. They clearly have issues and even if you went along with their every whim 100% of the time they still would have found fault because they are unstable. At least you tried and I think you and your dad deserve another trip just the two of you, one that is sure to end on a happier note.:grouphug:

[disneyaddicted]

I read through this whole thing and was completely horrified. How could anybody be so ungrateful. To be given so much and the only expectation you had of them was for all of you to have fun and enjoy the trip together. I was disgusted! And I literally cried for you and your Dad.
I do hope that you and your Dad have made it up to yourselves, surely you did something to relax after all that drama.
You are a good person to put up with it for so long.
God Bless you and your Dad.
Ty

[lurkernj]

Talk about timing!! I am having 'momma drama' with my mother this evening. She has called and left several snotty messages on my machine. I decided to try to forget it with alittle DIS and came across your report. Monica sounds like she could be my mother 40 years younger!! I completely understand the hot-cold, up-down, happy-angry, seemingly multiple personality you had to deal with! I'm sorry you went through that, but it really helped me to hear someone else can relate! Thnaks!!

Wow, I was reading this thinking this sounds just like my mother too!!! After dealing with her cutting me in and out of her life for my whole life (wouldn't even come to my wedding since my father(divorced) was walking me down the aisle), she finally cut all ties 4 years ago (saying that I am selfish and don't do enough for her- in fact she wrote me a list of things I didn't do for her and gave it to me before she left:hug:) and life has been sooooo stress free since then! I am now 40 years old and realize how much better my life is without her in it. One day she will call me out of the blue and act like nothing happened, as is her usual MO, this time I'm not bitin.

I am truly sorry you had to deal with this on your vacation. It is a very uncomfortable situation to be in, as you never know what mood to expect or what to say, or will I offend. Some people are just so self centered and can think of no one but themselves, there isn't anything you can do no matter how hard you try to fix it.

[JLTraveling]

Thank you to everyone for your comments, questions, and expressions of concern and sympathy. I promise to respond very soon to everyone individually, as your thoughts really do mean a great deal to me. Dad and I are on our way out the door right now to retrieve our RV from storage and head out on new and exciting adventures, so it may be this evening before I get a chance to fully respond. But I do want to say this: to those of you who expressed concern that you may have offended me, please do not worry about it in the slightest! I've been so bewildered that I am genuinely thankful for outside perspectives on what may have been going on!

I believe I mentioned earlier in the TR that as one of my writing jobs, I cover phobias for About.com. While casting around for blog material today, I think I may have hit on one of the many problems with this trip. J appears to be legitimately phobic of many, many things. One of the worst ways to handle someone with phobias is to force him to confront them. That's exactly what M did.

Here's my full blog post, if anyone is curious: How Not to Handle Phobias at Theme Parks (http://phobias.about.com/b/2009/10/03/how-not-to-handle-phobias-at-theme-parks.htm). I certainly don't think this was the entire issue, but I believe it was a huge contributing factor. What do you guys think?

[kindra657]

This. You just completely hit the nail right on the head. A lot of posters have asked how Dad and I could possibly put up with as much as we did. You nailed it precisely: despite everything, we genuinely wanted them to have a good time. For us, it wasn't about our trip. We've both done Disney a lot. The only part that was for us was the birthday. Everything else was for them. We love watching people have a good time, and we were perfectly willing to do whatever was going to make them happy. Unfortunately, they were just determined to be miserable and to make everyone else miserable in the process. And you're right, that hurts. A lot. Big DIS hugs to you too :hug: Let me know when you'll be down again, perhaps we could meet up!!

KELSTER: It sounds like the Amazing Race would be perfect for you and your daughter! The company, Gifts of a Lifetime, completely tailors each and every event to the particular group. From what I understand, there is no age limit to participate as long as an adult is involved. The main event recipient must be at least 5 years old. I would think that for a 12-year-old's event, the Race might be slightly easier (less obscure clues, possibly one or two fewer tasks). It will also be customized to your daughter's knowledge/familiarity with Disney, likes/dislikes, how outgoing she is, etc. I would definitely go to their website and fill out the pre-event questionnaire (http://giftsofalifetime.com/questionnaire.html). There's no obligation, and they'll create a couple of proposals for you based on your answers.

Also, in case anyone is curious, Amazing Race is just one of their themes. We were also offered a Survivor event, complete with tribal council and reward challenges. I know there are a bunch of others as well. I don't mean to sound like an advertisement, I was just so incredibly impressed with the professionalism and amount of work that they did. I couldn't be happier!

We will be going down Oct 30-Nov 3. We are taking my dd's best friend with us too!! :yay: Just bought the plane ticket bout 20 mins ago! $149 non-stop roundtrip out of Detroit! :worship:

After our Halloween fun, we'll be back down from Jan 23-28th with my in-laws and maybe some friends (the parents and siblings of dd's best friend...her mom and I are also bfs ;)) I'm really hoping that everyone has a great time and understands why Kindra is ALWAYS talking about disney!! :rolleyes1 lol

About gifts of a lifetime, we had them come and do an event for my sister when she turned 17. Her favorite disney movie is beauty and the beast and gifts of a lifetime sent her around MK on a "scavenger hunt" for her birthday present! We had to get to it before the last petal fell off the roses and before the villains found the gift...i'll post a link to some pics and maybe they will explain better :)

[bumbershoot]

:hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug:


Those are for you and your dad!

So many thoughts...

I thought your biggest problem was going to be the live-in witch, before your trip (I'd replied to a thread about her with stuff about my ex-boyfriends now-late stepmother, who took over his dad's entire life, in order to hide HER secret life). Wowie I was wrong.

Did you ever get in touch with your uncle, to find out what on earth happened with this supposed text/voicemail message?

I was thinking either drugs or alcohol, or, as I thought and my husband said...does SHE have some serious blood sugar issues? Before my husband was diagnosed, he would blast his blood sugar through the roof (so we assume) and then pick the rudest fights with me, just be a jerk-galore. I remember the week after he was diagnosed, I had called all over town to find a class he could take asap, found one, found someone who would stay after her shift was over at a local hospital to get him a free monitor and go over with him how to use it, and at the same time he had eaten something stupid (we were still very scared and he was still doing that) and he picked a fight with our son right there, and we were an hour late...his blood sugar was ridiculous, even an hour after that... Things are MUCH calmer now, and if he starts getting touchy, when he tests, we always find out he's gone up a bit. The sort of behaviour your cousin was doing, the mood swings...it just sounded like my husband when he was having wild swings. Now, just with diet and exercise (and cinnamon the wonder-plant!) his blood sugars are in the 80s and 90s, and a wild swing is 110, so it's not a terrifying thing...but despite what I was pretending just a year ago...we wouldn't have lasted much longer with the fights he was picking with me, and how far he would push over the most trivial nonsense (first time I've ever posted that online).

She doesn't seem to like her husband much.

But they seem to have a fight/make up relationship. That's how it was with my ex; we spent 2 years doing that. Towards the end we wouldn't even tell our friends we'd gotten back together, as by the time the word got to everyone, we knew we'd have broken up again. It might be exciting (thinking of your cousin's locked-door using-the-jacuzzi evening), but it's not actually *fun*.

I hate that she held your dad's present hostage. :(

As much as I want to blame monica, I'm sure her husband was up to no good as well...

It must be so hard, being from a counseling background, to encounter people who don't say what they mean, and who think that you aren't saying what you are meaning as well. I'm sure it's hard on them, too, constantly trying to find subtext and thinking the worst, but on some level they must KNOW that they don't tell the truth... It just must have been so hard on you.


Now I'll be running through the family dynamics all night, as our first WDW trip will likely be an extended (time-wise) family reunion...the locals aunt and cousin (and cousin's family) are disney fans and know the parks from experience, and I don't think they think a website can help, and I'm sure they'll want to show it all to us while I'll have *some* ideas...I'm hoping there's no conflict that I'm unaware of, and that they'll be OK if we're not glued to their sides the whole time...then again, we'll stay much longer than they'll stay, so maybe we could just be glued, and have unglued time later. :)


I'm so sorry you had to deal with all that, I'm glad you had some (many?) moments of fun that were able to, temporarily at least, quiet the "what is happening" questions, and that your dad got his great present and got to see his brother. :goodvibes Thank you so much for sharing your trip with us.

[chonga]

Wow- and I thought traveling with my family was bad! I'm so sorry you had such a rough time with your cousin and her husband. The only thing I kept thinking while reading your TR was: "How old are these people (your DC and DCIL)???!!!"

I used to be a therapist, and like you, found myself playing mediator during a recent nutty trip to South Korea with my dad and sister (thank goodness she was there!) for my brother's wedding. I won't bore you with the details, but could truly empathize with you while reading your TR. The conclusion: I will never go anywhere with my father ever again.:sad2: Your dad sounds like a sweetheart, and you're so lucky to have the relationship that you do with him.

BTW: Maybe I missed this in one of the earlier posts, but how is your grandmother doing? I hope she's feeling great, and is back home again.

Thanks for sharing your TR, and I wish you the best.

[BlueEyes78]

Wow, that was like a train wreck! How terrible to have spent all that money and be treated so shamefully. Sounds like both of them have severe personality disorders (borderline personality disorder, for sure, among others!). I feel awful for their kids, because I seriously doubt they are the type to let their marital problems play out behind closed doors. Sounds like their kids may need some of the "rescuing" you attempted to give Monica as a child.
Are you planning to write about your last two days there with just you and your Dad? I hope they were good ones, and it would be a relief to read about them after hearing about the first 9 day! Wow, you have some incredible patience!

[1971DBday]

I will never complain up my experience with family again! Your father and you were more then patient with your cousin/niece and her husband. I don't care how many times you have been to WDW it does not give them the excuse to make themselves the priority. They were your guest and they were selfish and ungrateful to their hosts.

I hope you don't dwell to long on the "ifs"....if you had just done this or if you had just said that. It is not worth it! I was blown away at your blog that a relative that you have been there for in the past and present could stab you in the back so many times, yet you both kept getting up to take more. I applauded in my mind when you finally put her in her place. That conversation would have been a lot sooner with me.

Last comment....a lot of this could have been avoided if she had respectfully told you about her marriage problems BEFORE the trip. At that point you could have discussed that this trip idea may not be a good for them to "Make It or Break It" - what a terrible situation to put you and your Dad in! "Hi our marriage is on the brink of divorce and can't stand being with each other right now - what the HECK let's drag you into and go to WDW!" No NOT a good idea - she should have spoken to you even if it was a last minute cancel on her part.:teacher:

[queenof3]

Wow! I am so sorry your vacation turned out the way it did! I too love the Amazing Race and am so happy that your dad had a great birthday thanks to you!! And, I would love to hear how the last two days were for you and your dad! Please report it if it you would like, I am sure you have more fans here!

[JLTraveling]

And the drama continues! Now she's harassing me on Facebook. Her most recent comment? "Have fun sleeping with daddy." Her next move? To call HER father (the one who's not speaking to me), and get him to try to add me on Facebook so he can harass me too...does she really think I'm gullible enough to add him as a friend??? :confused3

[thegreggersmom]

Yikes! What a nightmare. Well, that which doesn't kill us...:thumbsup2

You know you can block her on FaceBook, right? I don't think she'll ever know and you won't have to deal with her b.s.

I am intrigued by you and your dad being full time RVers. That is VERY cool. Would love to ask you some questions. PM me, please, if that's okay.

Sarah

[kimbo0569]

Wow! is all I can say! We are trying to plan a trip with my mil and my mom for next year. I think it will be okay, if we establish some ground rules ahead of time. However, if there was any doubt in my mind as to whether to add anyone else to this trip (ie - dh's siblings or mine), it's been been cleared up now. I think dh and I know better and the trip may very wind up the same as yours.

God bless your heart for trying to make it work up until the very end! I think I would have lost it much sooner.

May your next trip down with your dad erase the bad memories of this one.

[Dizneydawn]

Hi - read and caught up with everything just this morning!

Your posts have confirmed my direction in life and some decessions I have been contemplating.

I decided a year ago to purge my father from my life because he is so negative and after 37 years of forgiveness - I needed to be grown up enough to know that what I needed to forgive him for is not being a good Father. I have done that - but that does not mean I need to re-open the door and keep eating the apple if ya will.

Now I am on to my mom and youngest sister and quite frankly some other spoiled rotten people in my life as well. Why stress over birthdays, kids events, phone calls etc. if the other half of the wanted relationship is not willing to reciprocate. You cannot have, control or be both halves of a relationship (unless you have multiple personalities) so why try?

Family is who you are born into but that doesn't mean if it is not a healthy relationship, you have to continue with them. Once you are an adult - it is a choice and you choose to be cr@pped on over and over. For me - the why I was choosing it was what I needed to figure out.

This Thanksgiving and Christmas will be spent with my kids and fiance and one sister. I will not stress and cook and have anxiety over people who will just ruin the day anyway. This Thanksgiving I am choosing to be thankful for the people whom I love and show love back. Even if it is not as many as I would like, it is more than some people have and for that I am grateful!

Sorry for the rant but this whole topic has been plaguing me and doing what society says is right over what is right for you and your health is a hard action to take.

Look at how overly kind you were because what you wanted was so special to you and your Dad. The problem is that it wasn't special to M or J and thus you could have stood on your head and whistled the "Star Spangled Banner" with a flock of doves shooting up behind you with Jesus, Martin Luther King and Mother Theresa holding hands, floating above and they still would have not enjoyed it.

People who are not happy do not appreciate anything because they look to others/things to make them happy. They cannot look at themselves or their participation in their own place and decide on how to change their lives to fix anything.

You tried, God bless you for that. I kept thinking of how many people you did not impact positively because of the energy it took to deal with two people who were ungrateful.

How many people would you have touched standing in line, giving advice to? How many people and things did you not enjoy and share because of the stress? Their life sucking energy impacted your joy and the joy you would have passed onto others.

Pretend she is a gnat and squish her between your fingers, place that squished mess onto your shoulder and "Flick it and Forget it."

You are a good person - more giving than most. Next time donate that money you spent on them and be a big brother or sister and take a kid or family to Disney that would appreciate it. I have always wanted to walk up to a family buying tickets for a day at a park and just offer to pay their day. They worked for it, they saved for it and they choose to make it a priority to take their family. How awesome would it feel to help them out!

[JLTraveling]

Sorry for the delay in responding to everyone! For my own sanity, I needed to take a few days away from thinking about the whole situation, to try and get my own equilibrium back. I've also slept a good portion of the past couple of days. It's amazing how exhausting dealing with that sort of behavior for over a week can be!

Dizneydawn, thank you for your incredibly insightful and helpful post! I read it to Dad, and we were both truly touched. Everything that you said makes perfect sense. I am truly happy for you that after so many years of disappointment, you have found the strength and courage to purge the negative influences from your own life. If through the sharing of my experience, I was able in some small way to help you solidify the choices you have recently made, and renew your resolve to see them through, then as far as I'm concerned my entire situation was worthwhile. It truly makes me happy to know that some good can come from bad. :grouphug:

I love the gnat analogy, and I am trying to do just as you said, "Flick it and forget it." I have now blocked her on FaceBook (thanks, thegreggersmom, I didn't know I could do that!), though not before she got several more digs in. She is really, truly, amazingly furious with me, to the point that she's started some terrible arguments on FaceBook with my friends. :scared1: But I can make the choice not to let her affect me any longer.

I truly appreciate everyone's concern and support. I would blog the last two days of the trip, but there's not much to say. Dad and I are planning to stay in the area through the end of the month, and we have APs, so we decided not to bother going back to the parks those two days. Instead we hung around and enjoyed the condo, ordered pizza, watched TV and just relaxed. We met an incredible family reunion group, some of whom were staying in the condo next door. There were 26 total in the group, and they sort of adopted us into the clan. That was really nice, and much appreciated!

We're headed to Atlanta in a couple of weeks to see the So You Think You Can Dance tour. Next month is a Europe/Transatlantic cruise if we can swing it, otherwise a Western Caribbean cruise, and then we're on to New Orleans for Christmas (though we'll probably come back to Orlando for a week or so to enjoy the Disney holiday celebrations!). So life does go on.

Thanks again for all of the support and well-wishes! I don't know where I'd be without my DIS family. :grouphug: