Ever Find Yourself "Holding Your Tongue' When Folks on the Boards Ask for Advice ?

[Joshua_me]

I enjoy helping 'first timers' and others with information about all things in 'the world', but sometimes I wonder if I should just keep my mouth shut.

For example, when someone asks about things I can't stand at Disney, like Mickey's Backyard BBQ or dinner at The Coral Reef (two dreadful experiences, IMO ) I'm always tempted to tell them, "Run ! Stay away at all costs !" and such. But then I remember that some people really enjoy those things and by telling them not to go maybe I'm robbing them of an evening they'd really enjoy.

Not that they'd take my word all that seriously or anything, but maybe it would contribute to their deciding whether to go or not.

Do you think it's best to just not respond if you have a negative opinion about something and employ the "If you don't have anything nice to say..." rule, or do you think it's best to let them know how you feel about things ?

What do you do ?

[taylor3297]

I try not to say anything negative myself. Many times I have read how horrible a restaurant was to one family, but that same restaurant was fabulous to mine. If people ask about a preference between things, then I only state what I preferred and why and not say anything negative about the other places.

[danceintherain]

I usually preface, or conclude my statements with "you may like it though..." or something like that.
A lot of the time when I'm responding to people I like to remind them that these boards are only a place to get opinions from people with different perspectives.

I feel really bad for the people that start getting really nervous about their choices, because of all the bad reviews, but they really have to understand that for every bad experience someone has a good one.

[cocowum]

I enjoy helping 'first timers' and others with information about all things in 'the world', but sometimes I wonder if I should just keep my mouth shut.

For example, when someone asks about things I can't stand at Disney, like Mickey's Backyard BBQ or dinner at The Coral Reef (two dreadful experiences, IMO ) I'm always tempted to tell them, "Run ! Stay away at all costs !" and such. But then I remember that some people really enjoy those things and by telling them not to go maybe I'm robbing them of an evening they'd really enjoy.

Not that they'd take my word all that seriously or anything, but maybe it would contribute to their deciding whether to go or not.

Do you think it's best to just not respond if you have a negative opinion about something and employ the "If you don't have anything nice to say..." rule, or do you think it's best to let them know how you feel about things ?

What do you do ?

I try to follow the "If you don't have anything nice to say..." rule. :goodvibes I try not to be negative. :angel: <<<---Yep, that's me. ;)

[rlduvall]

I never give a negative opinion here on the boards but more because I know of the pile-on that will come:rolleyes1. Except . . . I recently mentioned that our air conditioning was not working properly in our studio room at the new AKV Kidani this June. Multiple people came on to tell me that either 1) I didn't know how to override the system [which I tried - it didn't work] or 2) That their room was perfectly fine and cool. [yeah, I'm happy for ya:laughing:] Honestly, the majority of the people here on the boards truly do not want to hear anything negative about Disney. ;) And if you do say anything, there will be 20 people to tell you why you are wrong. :cutie:

[HELPDESKGUY]

i enjoy helping 'first timers' and others with information about all things in 'the world', but sometimes i wonder if i should just keep my mouth shut.

For example, when someone asks about things i can't stand at disney, like mickey's backyard bbq or dinner at the coral reef (two dreadful experiences, imo ) i'm always tempted to tell them, "run ! Stay away at all costs !" and such. But then i remember that some people really enjoy those things and by telling them not to go maybe i'm robbing them of an evening they'd really enjoy.

Not that they'd take my word all that seriously or anything, but maybe it would contribute to their deciding whether to go or not.

Do you think it's best to just not respond if you have a negative opinion about something and employ the "if you don't have anything nice to say..." rule, or do you think it's best to let them know how you feel about things ?

What do you do ?

i wish someone would of warned me about "the coral reef" that place was terrible!

[TIGGERmetoo]

If someone asks for your opinion then you should give it. I think they just want to get another opinion. If I ask, I want to know the good and the bad. IMHO

[Justin Jett]

Everyone has their own likes and dislikes. I think telling someone of your personal experiences is the right thing to do. You can even preface it with "Based on my experience...." or something.

Take the podcast for example... They often have negative things to say about reviewed restaurants or attractions. They follow it up by saying "This is an opinion." There are people on the boards who enjoy that same restaurant or attraction. Movie and Play critics are the same way. The public may agree or disagree with a review or advice, but it is nice to know what to expect.

[teekee2]

If someone asks for your opinion then you should give it. I think they just want to get another opinion. If I ask, I want to know the good and the bad. IMHO

I would totally have to agree with you on this! Although at times it seems that most people only want to hear the "good", deep down I feel that they still want to hear if something isn't quite up to par. I mean, everything can't be good 24-7 can it?? Anyway, that's just IMO!

[DisneyKevin]

i wish someone would of warned me about "the coral reef" that place was terrible!

I'm plotzing.

Have I ever told you about the sad little crab cake?:teacher:

[Justin Jett]

I'm plotzing.

Have I ever told you about the sad little crab cake?:teacher:

:lmao::lmao::lmao:

[jpeka65844]

I tend to only respond to threads asking for advice about something I feel positively about. Disney has something for everyone and just b/c I don't enjoy some things, doesn't mean that nobody else will. I try not to bash others experiences.

I also don't ask for "is it worth it?" advice. If it's something I'm interested in and deem valuable for my family, then we do it; regardless of what anyone says......Therefore, we're probably going to do Ohana dinner in January. :laughing::rotfl: No Coral Reef, though.

I also am very reluctant to give advice to people I know that are planning Disney trips. I usually only offer advice when asked. Most people I've tried to help are appalled at the level of planning that's involved in making a healthy, eventful trip so after awhile they tend not to listen.

[WaltD4Me]

It depends on what it is and how the question is worded. I've given "less than glowing" opinions on some things. I usually tone it down though from what I might tell a friend who is looking for opinon or advice. I made the mistake once of giving my opinion of a hotel one time because it seemed the OP was definitely not looking for that kind of experience. My view didn't go over well, I may have been a bit too negative, so now, I'll still comment, but tone it down and make it shorter. Sometimes, I will send a PM rather than posting on the thread.

[NWOhioAngela]

I try to temper my responses a bit and emphasize that it was only one time that I tried it, and others liked it, etc.

(For the record, I kinda like Coral Reef, but had a bad experience at California Grill this week, so it just goes to show ya!:rotfl: )

[SamSam]

The majority of time, I only respond if I have something positive to say. Yes, I like to hear the good and the bad, but I don't want to discourage someone from trying something that they may truly enjoy even if I didn't.

When we have newbies come with us to WDW (love doing that), we go on every ride and attraction (even the ones we don't care for) and let the newbies decide for themselves whether they enjoy it or not.

[PrincessKsMom]

If you ask for my opinion, I'm only too happy to give it to you. :rolleyes1 :thumbsup2 I think all experiences, good and bad, should be shared. I loved Coral Reef BTW. ;) I've also been to Sci Fi three times and had a bad experience the second time. I would have been perfectly happy never going back. However, my DD wanted to go back again and we did and had a perfectly fine experience the third time. Go figure. :confused3

[mrzrich]

I am more likely to give my opinion to someone asking it on the DIS, than a co-worker or family member.

I feel like if somebody has invested the time and effort to find the DIS, register, so that they can post, and then start a thread asking for opinions, then I am glad to give them my opinion. I do usually steer them to look at dining reviews, photos, and trip reports from more than one person.

If a Newbie (or and Diser for that matter) asked about dinner at the Castle, I might steer them toward Kevin and Dave Parfitt's review of the blood clot pear.

On the other hand if a co-worker came up to me all excited about having diner in the Castle, I usually I am more likely to just smile, nod and tell them to have fun. When I expose my Disney Freak side to people who aren't looking for advice from a Disney Freak, their eyes usually glaze over and they start to slowly back away from me!:rotfl2:

[kafitty]

Ever been to the Community Board? :rolleyes1

i can't tell you how many times i've had to QUICKLY leave a thread before i opened my big stupid mouth, hahah. (Okay, we're online, but you know what i mean.)

i generally take advantage of the fact that online, written communication allows me to really think about what i'm going to say, review and edit, before putting my 2 cents in. My "real" life would be made so much easier if i could do that before i talked...:rolleyes:

[robertgp124]

When I'm reading for information, the negative reviews can sometimes have the most information. Especially if it is well written, the negatives can often bring out more information than a glowing review. To pick on Kevin for a second - his reviews are always detailed and he explains why he didn't care for something. In listening and reading his reviews, sometimes I will think - well, that actually sounds like something I might like - definitely don't cross it off the list.

Sometimes a negative review can temper expectations and lead to a pleasant surprise. :thumbsup2

Having said all this, I will sometimes hold my tongue as well. I think that unless you are as talented as some of you all are with explaining this (I am not!) - the visceral reaction in me that simply wants to type I HATE IT, I HATE IT, I HATE IT in all caps, isn't very productive or helpful. :rotfl2:

[daneenm]

i wish someone would of warned me about "the coral reef" that place was terrible!

Case in point...we had one of the best meals of our trip at Coral Reef. We eat out frequently and have quite high expectations of our food and had nothing but good things to say about our food at CR and even better things to say about our server.

So, you just never know how someone else's experience is going to be.

[Launchpad11B]

I always found it strange how angry people get when you disagree with their opinion. If you hated Coral Reef for example, and I loved it, somehow that translates into an insult! Not everyone has this reaction of course, but some. I only get fired up on these boards if I perceive one of my DIS friends is being unfairly attacked. I post strong responses if that's the case. Other than that though, I think the rule of "keep it as positive as you can" is best. :thumbsup2

[*KeepMovingForward*]

I give both positive and negative answers to questions. I know I'm not here to have someone blow smoke up my backside and I really am interested to hear the good and bad of some experiences, otherwise I would not post any questions on this board. I always try to stress that it is only my opinion/experience and that they may view the same resort/restaurant/ride differently. I figure everyone is able to take the information posted and make their own decision, but its nice to have a variety of experiences to base everything on. Nothing worse than everyone telling you something is just sooooo wonderful and then you go and have a bad time...and only then do people pipe up and say, oh yeah...it was awful for us too. :sad2:

[Spaceace5150]

I think it depends on the board, too. On this forum, I'd be willing to share my opinion. But on other forums, you might get a lot of angry replies...

[disneyholic family]

I enjoy helping 'first timers' and others with information about all things in 'the world', but sometimes I wonder if I should just keep my mouth shut.

For example, when someone asks about things I can't stand at Disney, like Mickey's Backyard BBQ or dinner at The Coral Reef (two dreadful experiences, IMO ) I'm always tempted to tell them, "Run ! Stay away at all costs !" and such. But then I remember that some people really enjoy those things and by telling them not to go maybe I'm robbing them of an evening they'd really enjoy.

Not that they'd take my word all that seriously or anything, but maybe it would contribute to their deciding whether to go or not.

Do you think it's best to just not respond if you have a negative opinion about something and employ the "If you don't have anything nice to say..." rule, or do you think it's best to let them know how you feel about things ?

What do you do ?


if you've ever noticed my deleted posts, those were when i didn't manage to hold my tongue.....:eek:
i eventually do come to my senses and come back in to censor myself...:goodvibes

[Renysmom]

I'm plotzing.

Have I ever told you about the sad little crab cake?:teacher:

Classic story :)

[Kimberle]

I try to give honest opinions based upon by experience. I always point out that this was *my* experiece and I try and give a time frame. There are to many who repeat what they've been "told", a/k/a like playing "telephone when you are a kid.

I know if I ask for honest opinions, I appreaciate them.

[IWISHFORDISNEY]

I will give my opinion if asked. Two places that get my negatives are Coral Reef and Cape May Clambake. Other people love them. I have had to many bad experiences at both to keep my mouth shut. However I saw awlful reviews for Chefs and we have had two fantastic meals there. Everyone said to stay away and we love it. Jiko for me was good not great but I will def go back. I loved the curry shrimp but apps not so much. To each his own. I have learned that everyone has different tastes/excpectations. I would never have tried Narcoossee's if it wasnt for Kevins review and now it is our must do every trip. :goodvibes

I also hated the WL. Just not my cup of tea. Boy did I get bashed for posting my reivew of substandard service of their CL compared to AKL. Our familys experience there was just not good from bus service to the CL staff. But I hated on some people favorite place and got flamed!

So I think opinions are good but; I like Paul dont understand the getting mad if you dont agree with my opinion. Its my opinion and nothing more.:confused3

[BriarRosie]

You'll find it often on the Restaurants forum:

"Help me pick my ADRs" or "Rate my ADRs" types of threads, and I tend to avoid those. Mostly because I don't know the types of foods that family likes.

Are you a picky eater, eating mostly meat and potatoes, or are you more adventurous? Because I don't know if their preferences, I don't think I could steer them to places I think they might enjoy. I could only steer them to places I enjoy, which they might find horrible.

So I tend to stay away from threads like that.

But I do offer warnings on threads where the OP will be landing in MCO at 3pm, and they have ADRs at 5pm at Chef Mickey's. And they're staying at Pop Century. I tell them that I don't think they have enough time to make their ADR on time based on that, unless they had a car.

[PinkBudgie]

I always say what I think and I would hope others do the same if I have a question. I want to hear the good, the bad, the ugly. :rotfl: However, the person responding should give the reasons why it was good or bad. Someone might think a particular restaurant was terrible but not explain that it was because the wine selection wasn't very good. To me, that wouldn't make a difference and I might go aways thinking that was a bad place, when I might have liked it. If reasons are given, then the readers can draw their own conclusions.

Since I've never been to WDW, I don't give opinons on those boards but I've never felt "yelled at" for giving my opinions on the DLR boards. When I ever do get to WDW, I want to read lots of opinions to help me plan. All glowing reveiws won't help. And trust me, if I decided I'm going to try something for myself, a negative opinion won't change that.

[GaSleepingBeautyFan]

If I see that someone is asking for advice and I've had experience with the restaurant or resort, I have no problem giving my opinions. I think people need to hear the good and the bad and why.

Sometimes I get flamed for my opinion but I don't care since it's the best way to help people make the decision on their own.

[Cherinva]

Fortunatly for me, I haven't had many "bad" experiences. But, I will state my opinion, and it's just that...my opinion. I've heard terrible things about CRT, but our experience was outstanding...from the service to the meal. My family also like Coral Reef, but didn't care for Tusker House. I like hearing the bad and the good, and them make my decision. The trick is, not to take anything personal, different strokes for different folks.

[exwdwcm]

i try and focus on the positives instead of the 'don't dos', so much. There are so many good things to see, I just tell them that. We are actually doing Coral Reef for lunch for the first time in Dec and will see how it goes. I don't have high hopes, but we figured we would try it. I think in some instances too that you have to try it for yourself and get burned to believe it. :rotfl: Sort of tough love? :confused3:rotfl:

and like others said- sometimes it can be a random thing that a meal was bad or an off day and heck, sometimes the newbies are so happy to be there and soaking in so much that they won't notice when something is a bit off or bad. then again, folks have high expectations of the mouse too.

i just try and tell them the good and usually they will discover the bad for themselves.

[dmccarty]

Reviewing a restaurant is hard. What one person likes another person might not. I will give my opinion on a place but if it served food that is not mainstream like Jiko's or Boma someone might not like it. Which should be stated in one's opinion.

The problem with a "review" is that its a particular moment. A server and obviously a cook can really make or break a meal. We could have a bad experience because of the server or cook but the party at the next table may have the best meal of they have ever had because they had a different server or cook.

We love going to California Grill.:love: We have been there at least dozen times over the years and never had a bad meal. However on our last trip we had ADRs two days in a row at CG. The first ADR we had a server who we have had several times over the years. :banana: The food was excellent as always. There was a particular appetizer that was out of this world! :banana: My dad went with us on the second ADR and we really talked up the appetizer as something we had to have again...

The server at the second ADR was not good but not bad either. He and we just did not hit it off for some reason. Not sure why but there was something missing. :confused3 We had to have the appetizer again so we ordered it. And for some reason it was not as good as the night before.:confused3 Did the cook leave something out? Was the food just not as good? Same place. Same food. 24 hours apart. Different experience. :confused3

Next trip we only have one ADR and it is at CG. We want to graze at the F&WF at EPCOT. I hope we have made the right decision. :)

Regarding posts. Some threads I just avoid. Its not worth the p...ing contest that will happen if I give my two cents. There is a thread going on about security at WDW that is full of bovine scat but its just not worth getting involved in the discussion. One's experiences, training, and logic just will not change some peoples opinions.

I think the reason why negative opinions are attacked is that sometimes the "review" or negative statement is too strong or paints to broad of a stroke. Or people take the opinion as such. If someone said that CG is an horrible place to eat I would jump in an defend the restaurant since we have had so many excellent dining experiences there for over a decade. On the other hand if some one said that they had a bad experience at CG I would NOT jump on the statement.

I sure would like to know what happened though! :rotfl2:

In Kevin's reviews he often, if not every review, most of the reviews, makes it very clear that his review are his opinion at a given time which is the right way to do things. Unfortunately for us he was on about his opinion about Jiko's a while back. :scared1::laughing: We like the place but our last visit we only went once. The food and service was excellent but I think we were a disappointed by the portion size. And we are not expecting nor wanting huge portions. I think the other reason was that the menu had not changed enough for us. We had eaten most of what was on the menu and wanted something different. At CG that has never happened to us. :laughing::rotfl2::worship: We canceled one of our ADRs at Jiko's and got one at CG. :banana: But that meant driving to CR instead of just walking to Jiko's from our room. :eek::rolleyes1

Later,
Dan

[rockundergirl]

I think replying only when you have something positive to say is kinda misleading... I just tend to say " well we waited 2 hours for our food, and I didn't like how it tasted" instead of, " ewww i hate that place .." lol i just think as long as your constructive and state facts feel free to share your opinion. However I'm known for having trouble biting my tong. ;)

[mejkjj97]

I am always nervous about giving my opinion on things. I think that is why I don't post too often. Which is kind of strange since I am a very opinionated person. :lmao: If I am asked directly I will tell people and I am honest about it but I also say it was "personal experience".
This past year I had a lot of friends go to Disney for the first time and was asked to help plan or give ideas and I then felt guilty after if they didn't enjoy something that I suggested. :guilty:
But in the end, I take opinions in stride and realize that I might have a different experience than someelse and our likes might be different. Also, if I am that interested in trying something just try it and don't worry about what other have said. I will have my own thoughts and opinions after.

[karaeric]

Hmmm, this is a very interesting thread. I too will post both positive and not-so-positive comments to "what do you think" types of questions. But I always say it's my opinion, and I always include my personal "situation" because we are DINKS (double-income, no kids :rotfl2: unless you count the four-legged kiddos) and that makes a big difference in how we perceive things sometimes.

I agree with previous posters too, if a negative comment is simply negative without the detail, it's hard to understand what was behind that negative experience.

[WDWtraveler27]

I'm plotzing.

Have I ever told you about the sad little crab cake?:teacher:

:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:
:lmao::lmao::lmao::lmao:

[Joshua_me]

I'm not here to have someone blow smoke up my backside

:laughing:

Heh. Well, that's one way to put it.

I suppose if someone asks for advice they should be prepared to take the good with the bad. Still, I hope that person on the other end knows to take any online opinion with a grain of salt.

[*KeepMovingForward*]

:laughing:

Heh. Well, that's one way to put it.

I suppose if someone asks for advice they should be prepared to take the good with the bad. Still, i hope that person on the other end knows to take any online opinion with a grain of salt.

ita! ;)

[dalt01]

I try not to say anything negative myself. Many times I have read how horrible a restaurant was to one family, but that same restaurant was fabulous to mine. If people ask about a preference between things, then I only state what I preferred and why and not say anything negative about the other places.

If someone asks for your opinion then you should give it. I think they just want to get another opinion. If I ask, I want to know the good and the bad. IMHO

If you ask for my opinion, I'm only too happy to give it to you. :rolleyes1 :thumbsup2 I think all experiences, good and bad, should be shared. I loved Coral Reef BTW. ;) I've also been to Sci Fi three times and had a bad experience the second time. I would have been perfectly happy never going back. However, my DD wanted to go back again and we did and had a perfectly fine experience the third time. Go figure. :confused3

I give both positive and negative answers to questions. I know I'm not here to have someone blow smoke up my backside and I really am interested to hear the good and bad of some experiences, otherwise I would not post any questions on this board. I always try to stress that it is only my opinion/experience and that they may view the same resort/restaurant/ride differently. I figure everyone is able to take the information posted and make their own decision, but its nice to have a variety of experiences to base everything on. Nothing worse than everyone telling you something is just sooooo wonderful and then you go and have a bad time...and only then do people pipe up and say, oh yeah...it was awful for us too. :sad2:

:laughing:

Heh. Well, that's one way to put it.

I suppose if someone asks for advice they should be prepared to take the good with the bad. Still, I hope that person on the other end knows to take any online opinion with a grain of salt. and there ya have it................................................ ..........................the previous answer is how i usually reply to such things as, which park would you skip, which park would you not miss, which restaurant must i go to, what is the worst restaurant, etc, etc. cause before it is over every possible angle of the question will be covered and the OP is no further ahead than when he/she started

[FireDancer]

If I have an opinion on something I will give it honestly and bluntly. I know if I am seeking opinions I want them to be honest, not sugar coated. I don't know how anyone can make an informed decision about something without honest input, good and bad.

The thing that is often forgotten is that opinions are just that, opinions. It doesn't make opposing opinions right or wrong, just different. If the opinion is about a restaurant or something that is that subjective I will qualify it. First, any restaurant experience, as Kevin has tried to point out many times, is a snapshot. A restaurant can serve 99 guests out of 100 flawlessly but if you are that 1, as far as you are concerned they had a 100% failure rate.

Food is also very subjective because we all value different things in a meal. I can sit next to someone who gets the exact same meal as me prepared the exact same way at the exact same time but because we have different tastes one has a great experience and one not so much.