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View Full Version : What would you do... spinoff


amsyw
07-29-2009, 11:24 AM
So after reading the other What Would You Do Thread regarding medical bills I have a different case.

DS(13) went to school Tennis Camp. There was some horsing around ('m sure my son was involved - although he said he wasn't) that involved beaning balls AT people. He turned around to catch one directly in the eye - Opened eye. It was near the end of practice. When I got there to pick him up I could tell he had been crying and he told me what happened and that he couldn't see anything with that eye. Of course we go immediately to the ER.

Fast Forward. Everything is now fine with eye. Mother of boy who hit ds calls to find out if everything is going well with eye. She asks about our insurance and if its going to cover everything. I tell her I haven't even received bills yet. She tells me they will cover any outstanding balances as it was her son who caused injury. I told her we would just see how it went, and maybe split the bill as I was sure ds was goofing around too. We got the bills and insurance paid everything but $350. I know that isn't horrible for a ER visit, but it is an unexpected expense we didn't plan for.

So the questions:
1. Do I call Mother back and tell her the bill amount
(or mail her a copy of bill with note attached - just to show the $amount)?
2. If yes, do I let her pay the whole bill.
3. Do I ask them to pay 1/2 of the bill since I mentioned that in origial conversation?
4. Do we just pay the bill and let it end?

btw, these boys are "good acquaintences" not really buddies. But they have played soccer on a league team and have many classes together, band together etc. So we know the parents well. We WILL see them out and I know that she will ask about the bill at some point. He is a REALLY good kid and I know things just got out of hand. I know there was no malice intended.

What would you do???

thanks!

KAMKIM
07-29-2009, 11:29 AM
So after reading the other What Would You Do Thread regarding medical bills I have a different case.

DS(13) went to school Tennis Camp. There was some horsing around ('m sure my son was involved - although he said he wasn't) that involved beaning balls AT people. He turned around to catch one directly in the eye - Opened eye. It was near the end of practice. When I got there to pick him up I could tell he had been crying and he told me what happened and that he couldn't see anything with that eye. Of course we go immediately to the ER.

Fast Forward. Everything is now fine with eye. Mother of boy who hit ds calls to find out if everything is going well with eye. She asks about our insurance and if its going to cover everything. I tell her I haven't even received bills yet. She tells me they will cover any outstanding balances as it was her son who caused injury. I told her we would just see how it went, and maybe split the bill as I was sure ds was goofing around too. We got the bills and insurance paid everything but $350. I know that isn't horrible for a ER visit, but it is an unexpected expense we didn't plan for.

So the questions:
1. Do I call Mother back and tell her the bill amount
(or mail her a copy of bill with note attached - just to show the $amount)?
2. If yes, do I let her pay the whole bill.
3. Do I ask them to pay 1/2 of the bill since I mentioned that in origial conversation?
4. Do we just pay the bill and let it end?

btw, these boys are "good acquaintences" not really buddies. But they have played soccer on a league team and have many classes together, band together etc. So we know the parents well. We WILL see them out and I know that she will ask about the bill at some point. He is a REALLY good kid and I know things just got out of hand. I know there was no malice intended.

What would you do???

thanks!

First of all, glad to hear his eye is okay...that could have been much worse. I would pay it myself and make DS and buddy do some chores around the house to account for some of their responsibility.

Darcy03231
07-29-2009, 11:30 AM
Since she contacted you first and asked for the bill I would call her and let her know what the amount was and split it with her.

pearlieq
07-29-2009, 11:54 AM
I would just call her, tell her how much it is, and offer to split it with her. That seems fair.

I also LOVE the PP's suggestion to have your DS work off his portion of the bill. Accidents happen, but people get hurt when you do dangerous things like whip tennis balls at each other. Having to work to cover the bill might be a lesson that sticks. Ask him for his ideas on how he can make it up to you--you might be pleasantly surprised at the answer.

SandrA9810
07-29-2009, 12:24 PM
I would let her know the bill, but let her bring it up first about paying for half of it. Or see what she says after you tell her the total.

And if you think having your son pay for horseplay, bring it up with the other mother to see if she think's it is fair. The other mom might think of it as some sort of punishment or something and not want her son to do it. I think enough work to "earn" 75$ would be good enough for each boy.

trip
07-29-2009, 12:42 PM
Since she contacted you first and asked for the bill I would call her and let her know what the amount was and split it with her.


Totally agree with the option.

wovenwonder
07-29-2009, 12:44 PM
Kids will be kids and accidents will happen. Whatever you choose to do, just be prepared to handle it the same way [or similar] if the cause of accident is ever your son's.

I think I would just pay it and maybe mention to the other mother having both of your sons do some volunteer work in the community as a learning lesson. Maybe they could read to a blind elderly person or something like that.

Halloweenqueen
07-29-2009, 12:46 PM
First, kudos to the mother for calling you. I think splitting is the best option. Glad to hear your son is okay.

derocas
07-29-2009, 12:53 PM
Kids will be kids and accidents will happen. Whatever you choose to do, just be prepared to handle it the same way [or similar] if the cause of accident is ever your son's.

I think I would just pay it and maybe mention to the other mother having both of your sons do some volunteer work in the community as a learning lesson. Maybe they could read to a blind elderly person or something like that.

I really liked your response and would probably handle it the same way.

Justsyd2
07-29-2009, 01:19 PM
"Do I ask them to pay 1/2 of the bill since I mentioned that in original conversation?"

If you can't afford to pay the bill, then, yes, I would. Personally, I would never ask her to pay any of it. I would just pay the bill myself. Accidents happen.

My son almost severed his thumb putting a metal shed together for an elderly woman. I paid for the specialist and the surgery. I never asked her to contribute.

j's m
07-29-2009, 01:45 PM
Glad to hear his eye is ok.

I would check with the tennis camp/school to see if they had insurance. A few years ago my DS was playing on a summer basketball league. He was knocked over onto the asphalt and got a tiny stone chip in his arm. We couldn't get the chip out so we had to go to the ER. Total bills $ 1400 :scared1: That's when we found out they had an insurance policy that paid the balance minus $ 100 deductible after our insurance paid.

IMALOVNDISNEY
07-29-2009, 03:26 PM
Glad to hear your son is doing better. Just an FYI. You DS should have an eye exam every 6 months for 1-2 years. Not to scare you but my DH had an eye accident and had no problems until about a year later. Enough with my rambling.

I'm going to offer a different spin on this. If your son was at an organized tennis camp, then the camp should have insurance for things like this. I would contact who ever was in charge of the camp and find out. This was no one will be out of pocket. Kuddos to the other Mom for stepping up and offering. You don't see that to often any more.

torinsmom
07-29-2009, 03:38 PM
Well, since the mom initiated the conversation about her paying for the outstanding balance, I think splitting the cost would be a great idea. I would call or email her and let her know you got the bill and how much it was. I would say something like "I know you said you would pay the outstanding balance, but since I feel my child was also playing around, how would you feel about going halves on the bill?"

DS had a situation at school where he was poked in the eye(intentionally) by another child. They had a love-hate relationship, and I knew there had been an incident of him hitting her with a little rock earlier in the year. She was not hurt in that incident(no mark anyway) So when DS had to go to the ER for a torn cornea and then see an opthamologist, I just paid the bill. I figured the little girl could have been hurt in the previous incident just as easily. BTW, they became girlfriend-boyfriend the next school year, LOL.

Marsha

stitchlovestink
07-29-2009, 03:48 PM
Glad to hear his eye is ok.

I would check with the tennis camp/school to see if they had insurance. A few years ago my DS was playing on a summer basketball league. He was knocked over onto the asphalt and got a tiny stone chip in his arm. We couldn't get the chip out so we had to go to the ER. Total bills $ 1400 :scared1: That's when we found out they had an insurance policy that paid the balance minus $ 100 deductible after our insurance paid.
I'm sorry but when I read this, I had to respond as I clearly disagree w/ this. PP, your son was injured 'legitimately while playing on the basketball league' or at least appears this way as the post is written. These boys were clearly horsing around and the injury occured during the horsing around and not during actual participation in said activity. This is why the costs of these types of activities keeping going up. Why should the insurance company of the tennis camp have to foot the bill for boys acting inappropriately? It's not like one of them caught the served ball in the eye hit from another player's racket. :confused3 You (and or others) file these types of claims thru the tennis camp and the camp is forced to raise their charges because of increased insurance rates. So lucky us or whoever else is participating! We now get to pay more for your (injured party) kid's poor choice in behavior. :confused3 Again, a case of a bad apple spoiling it for the bunch.

OP, I'm am sorry if this offends you specifically. It is not meant to. But I don't think it is right to file a claim w/ the other company when clearly the injury did not happen while participating in the activity. It happened during horseplay, which should be covered by the parents.
If it were me, I would not ask for the $$. If they bring it up again, I would just state something like "oh we got the bill. it was $350 and we paid it." If they offer to give you $$ towards again, I'd take it. but only 1/2, as your son was a willing participant. I also agree w/ the poster who suggested that the boys do some kind of work toward the cost of the bill.
AND YES, I am VERY GLAD that his eye ended up being fine. That is the most important part of all of this. I'm sure you'll handle this well. :goodvibes

A Mickeyfan
07-29-2009, 06:24 PM
Kids will be kids and accidents will happen. Whatever you choose to do, just be prepared to handle it the same way [or similar] if the cause of accident is ever your son's.

I think I would just pay it and maybe mention to the other mother having both of your sons do some volunteer work in the community as a learning lesson. Maybe they could read to a blind elderly person or something like that.

I think that is an excellent idea.. and yes, accidents will happen when kids play. Having them both do some community service hours will teach them that horse-play hurts, both physically and in the pocket... as well as takes up their time.

A Mickeyfan
07-29-2009, 06:29 PM
I'm sorry but when I read this, I had to respond as I clearly disagree w/ this. PP, your son was injured 'legitimately while playing on the basketball league' or at least appears this way as the post is written. These boys were clearly horsing around and the injury occured during the horsing around and not during actual participation in said activity. This is why the costs of these types of activities keeping going up. Why should the insurance company of the tennis camp have to foot the bill for boys acting inappropriately? It's not like one of them caught the served ball in the eye hit from another player's racket. :confused3 You (and or others) file these types of claims thru the tennis camp and the camp is forced to raise their charges because of increased insurance rates. So lucky us or whoever else is participating! We now get to pay more for your (injured party) kid's poor choice in behavior. :confused3 Again, a case of a bad apple spoiling it for the bunch.

OP, I'm am sorry if this offends you specifically. It is not meant to. But I don't think it is right to file a claim w/ the other company when clearly the injury did not happen while participating in the activity. It happened during horseplay, which should be covered by the parents.
If it were me, I would not ask for the $$. If they bring it up again, I would just state something like "oh we got the bill. it was $350 and we paid it." If they offer to give you $$ towards again, I'd take it. but only 1/2, as your son was a willing participant. I also agree w/ the poster who suggested that the boys do some kind of work toward the cost of the bill.
AND YES, I am VERY GLAD that his eye ended up being fine. That is the most important part of all of this. I'm sure you'll handle this well. :goodvibes

I also agree here, you should not file a claim even if the camp has insurance. I know this was not OP's idea. OP's son was not hurt during practice or actual tennis instruction time but horse-play. Had he been following rules, this would not have happened. .. And yes, this is why rates for camps keep going up due to people suing at the drop of a dime when they should not.

a1tinkfans
07-29-2009, 06:34 PM
So after reading the other What Would You Do Thread regarding medical bills I have a different case.

DS(13) went to school Tennis Camp. There was some horsing around ('m sure my son was involved - although he said he wasn't) that involved beaning balls AT people. He turned around to catch one directly in the eye - Opened eye. It was near the end of practice. When I got there to pick him up I could tell he had been crying and he told me what happened and that he couldn't see anything with that eye. Of course we go immediately to the ER.

Fast Forward. Everything is now fine with eye. Mother of boy who hit ds calls to find out if everything is going well with eye. She asks about our insurance and if its going to cover everything. I tell her I haven't even received bills yet. She tells me they will cover any outstanding balances as it was her son who caused injury. I told her we would just see how it went, and maybe split the bill as I was sure ds was goofing around too. We got the bills and insurance paid everything but $350. I know that isn't horrible for a ER visit, but it is an unexpected expense we didn't plan for.

So the questions:
1. Do I call Mother back and tell her the bill amount
(or mail her a copy of bill with note attached - just to show the $amount)?
2. If yes, do I let her pay the whole bill.
3. Do I ask them to pay 1/2 of the bill since I mentioned that in origial conversation?
4. Do we just pay the bill and let it end?

btw, these boys are "good acquaintences" not really buddies. But they have played soccer on a league team and have many classes together, band together etc. So we know the parents well. We WILL see them out and I know that she will ask about the bill at some point. He is a REALLY good kid and I know things just got out of hand. I know there was no malice intended.

What would you do???

thanks!


Most Homeowners policies have medical payments to others that would cover this scenario, it is what it is for and what one pays a premium for. I would drop her a note and indicate that you do have an outstanding medical bill for your sons injury and would she be kind enough to forward it to her carrier for payment. It is simple as pie!
You do not need to "sue" anyone, it is a simple procedure that carriers handle day in and day out.............
It is for ANY type scenario (not an exclusions though...like INtentionally doing something, etc) that would be covered. She may/may not know this, so giving her a bit of a "hint" might help. And no, I have never seen an increased premium based on a med payout, which everyone seems to think happens automatically, it doesn't.
Glad to hear your ds is okay! :grouphug:

sk!mom
07-29-2009, 06:38 PM
I wouldn't contact the other mom and if she contacted me, I'd tell her it was taken care of.

We had a similar issue a few months ago. DD and some friends were playing around before the start of ballet and DD's friend pulled on DD's phone and broke it in half. She felt terrible and her mom felt worse. They offered to pay and the girl even brought DD an envelope of cash the next day. We returned it. My reasoning...the phone already had a small crack from 18 months of hard teenage use, the girls were playing, and it was simply an accident. We're friends with these people and I'd like to keep it that way.

On the other hand, if my child broke something, I would offer to pay.

A Mickeyfan
07-29-2009, 08:41 PM
Most Homeowners policies have medical payments to others that would cover this scenario, it is what it is for and what one pays a premium for. I would drop her a note and indicate that you do have an outstanding medical bill for your sons injury and would she be kind enough to forward it to her carrier for payment. It is simple as pie!
You do not need to "sue" anyone, it is a simple procedure that carriers handle day in and day out.............
It is for ANY type scenario (not an exclusions though...like INtentionally doing something, etc) that would be covered. She may/may not know this, so giving her a bit of a "hint" might help. And no, I have never seen an increased premium based on a med payout, which everyone seems to think happens automatically, it doesn't.
Glad to hear your ds is okay! :grouphug:

this didn't happen at anyone's home but at a Tennis Camp. I doubt that a home owners policy would cover that since it didn't happen on that home owners property.

amsyw
07-29-2009, 08:51 PM
Thanks for the replies. To address a couple of things: I'm fairly certain there is no insurance involved for the camp other than what the school covers. (and that is very limited, we get a letter at the beginning of the school year that offers supplemental accident insurance, because they "claim" to not cover school-related injuries) We pay $25 for 4 nights of 1 1/2 hours of instruction. So I am sure that wouldn't cover much of an extra insurance policy. The HS coach does these. Each sports camp is handled this way. The school sends out a sign up sheet before the end of school. You go to the camp(s) of your choice and make your check out to the Coach. By the way the coach also called to check on ds... he didn't offer any assistance with bills! ;)

Having said that, I wouldn't ask the coach about covering it. As well as I wouldn't have called to ask the parents to cover it. She called us. And while we can pay the bill, it would be nice to have help on it since ds just turned around and got it in the eyeball. He said he wasn't participating in the horseplay and while I believe he wasn't beaning the balls at people I'm sure he WAS laughing and carrying on with those that were. He is a good kid that tends to tell me the truth even when it's not in his best interest. But he IS 13 so I know that the truth can get stretched!

Anyway, that's why I'm frustrated with this. I don't feel he put himself into a situation which caused his injury, but instead was in the wrong place at the wrong time. I wouldn't have called the family to ask for $$ but since they offered I felt like in a way I am justified in accepting it. I felt weird even discussing it with her which is why I made the suggestion of spliting it. Hence me asking on here the opinions of everyone.

And as a couple of pp's have said I would of course offer to pay the bill if the situation was turned around. If my kid caused injury to a person or cell phone or car etc I would feel it's my responsibility to make that person whole again.

And thanks for the "glad to hear your son is ok's" He is fine and He will continue to get eye exams. That was my main concern was taking care of the eye. Your vision is nothing to mess around with!!

Thanks for listening!

Alisa

horseshowmom
07-29-2009, 09:09 PM
I would agree with either of the two options listed above - either splitting the costs with the other parent or talking to the other parent and enlisting their assistance with the plan of your paying the costs and the boys working the cost off doing volunteer work. :thumbsup2

Let me add that I applaud you for your attitude in recognizing that your child might have been involved (if only in laughing and hanging around the mayhem :thumbsup2). These days, many people can't see that. ;) My husband says that when stuff used to come up when he was a kid (that he didn't want to get any blame for but was probably still at least a little bit involved), his dad would always say, "Yeah, and I guess you were somewhere in a corner reading the Bible?" :rolleyes1

figment52
07-29-2009, 09:13 PM
I'm glad your son is ok.

cnlmom
07-29-2009, 10:33 PM
I am so glad your son is ok....that is the most important thing.
I have to agree with stitchlovestink (even though we disgareed a bit in the other thread:love:) I would not even consider asking the camp to pay. With children, accidents happen, they are kids and do not always think through consquences of fooling around or not so safe actions. Camps and other businesses/agencies should not be held responsible for every bloody nose, scrape and boo-boo that kids cause by being kids....which this incident is.

I think it was very nice for that parent to offer to pay, that tells me tons about her character. I understand your dilema, I would have so many feelings...I would want to accept 1/2 the money because it was of course an unexpected expense that her son was involved in creating (intentional or not), but would feel funny calling and asking for it and would not do that, and I would not accept it.
I would let it go, if she brings it up to you again, thank her for her offer and just let her know that you have alread taken care of it. I love the community service idea, but I would not push it, just mention it.
If she insists she pay half, then let her. She sounds like a good person who is trying to do the right thing.

I absolutely agree with the poster who said that you need to be prepared to act in the exact same way if the shoe was on the other foot.

penn19
07-30-2009, 01:07 AM
Just so you know, and I don't know that this is totally true, but what our friend/attorney told us 7 years ago...A verbal agreement is binding. So if she said she would pay, you can for sure make her pay legally. When my ds was 11, him and a few neighbor kids were messing around, one of the kids who was very annoying, was, well being annoying, and my ds pushed at him to get him off our lawn, and his prescription eyeglasses went flying off his face, hit the ground, and of course cracked. Well the mom came to my door, and before I could think of what I was saying, because she was crazy upset, I said fine I will pay for the glasses. Well I said that before I knew the whole story, but our friend/attorney said since I had made the statement, it was legally binding. The mom of course told us that the new glasses were going to be $500 and we thought that was crazy high, so we ended up (after calling the eye dr they used and finding out that, really, no they didn't cost $500) giving them $100. Which my ds had taken out of his bank account.

Indiana Rose Lee
07-30-2009, 07:12 AM
If my kid were involved in horse play which resulted in him being injured, I would pay the bill. It is his own fault he was hurt. Evwn good kids stretch the truth.