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View Full Version : Vent: DH & grocery shopping


NCRedding
06-09-2009, 07:43 AM
For the last several months, I've been making a deliberate effort (which my family knows about) to eat home, and use our stock from our freezer and pantry. It's been a little difficult, because DH claims to be on Atkins, so I've been very careful to plan meals around his "diet". When he's not home for dinner, DD and I eat a lot of pasta, etc, which we love, but I want to support DH in his diet.

Anyway, I always ask DH if he needs or wants anything from the store before I go. Last night I got home from work to find he had gone to the grocery store. He came home with:

5 large family sized (12 servings) of frozen meals--lasagna, chicken pie, beef pot pie. First, if I knew he would eat it, I make a very healthy and good chicken pie, and there are only 3 of us--we don't need 12 servings of anything at one sitting. Plus he shopped at the expensive store, and even on their sale, these cost more that I could have gotten them for at the cheap store.

15Packs of luncheon meat. Again on sale, but more expensive than the good quality meat that we have in the meat drawer. He put it in the freezer.

2 cartons Premium Orange juice: DD isn't an orange juice drinker; I'm on WW so I prefer to eat my fruit than drink it, and last time I checked OJ wasn't on Atkins.

2 pints of blueberries: The only fruit I don't really care for. Hard to eat without something else with it. DD does not eat blueberries.

12 rolls of bounty: NOT on sale. You BBs know how expensive bounty is when it isn't on sale, plus it goes on sale every week almost. Also, the storage area where I keep paper towels is completely FULL of the towels which I bought on sale.

12 rolls of Charmin: see above about Bounty--not on sale, not needed.

Ziplock bags: again, not needed--we have 5 boxes of each size he bought.

4 boxes of ice cream:again, I'm on WW, he's on Atkins, and DD is not a big fan of ice cream (she loves most fresh fruits and vegetables).

So, DH spent almost $200 and we have nothing to eat. Of course, when I pointed out some of these things to him, he sulked and implied I was overly-critical. Sorry so long, just needed to vent! I just feel like I was making progress and now I feel like I'm fighting a losing battle. Then, when I point out my issues, I'm made to feel like I'm being ridiculous.

minnie1928
06-09-2009, 07:50 AM
For the last several months, I've been making a deliberate effort (which my family knows about) to eat home, and use our stock from our freezer and pantry. It's been a little difficult, because DH claims to be on Atkins, so I've been very careful to plan meals around his "diet". When he's not home for dinner, DD and I eat a lot of pasta, etc, which we love, but I want to support DH in his diet.

Anyway, I always ask DH if he needs or wants anything from the store before I go. Last night I got home from work to find he had gone to the grocery store. He came home with:

5 large family sized (12 servings) of frozen meals--lasagna, chicken pie, beef pot pie. First, if I knew he would eat it, I make a very healthy and good chicken pie, and there are only 3 of us--we don't need 12 servings of anything at one sitting. Plus he shopped at the expensive store, and even on their sale, these cost more that I could have gotten them for at the cheap store.

15Packs of luncheon meat. Again on sale, but more expensive than the good quality meat that we have in the meat drawer. He put it in the freezer.

2 cartons Premium Orange juice: DD isn't an orange juice drinker; I'm on WW so I prefer to eat my fruit than drink it, and last time I checked OJ wasn't on Atkins.

2 pints of blueberries: The only fruit I don't really care for. Hard to eat without something else with it. DD does not eat blueberries.

12 rolls of bounty: NOT on sale. You BBs know how expensive bounty is when it isn't on sale, plus it goes on sale every week almost. Also, the storage area where I keep paper towels is completely FULL of the towels which I bought on sale.

12 rolls of Charmin: see above about Bounty--not on sale, not needed.

Ziplock bags: again, not needed--we have 5 boxes of each size he bought.

4 boxes of ice cream:again, I'm on WW, he's on Atkins, and DD is not a big fan of ice cream (she loves most fresh fruits and vegetables).

So, DH spent almost $200 and we have nothing to eat. Of course, when I pointed out some of these things to him, he sulked and implied I was overly-critical. Sorry so long, just needed to vent! I just feel like I was making progress and now I feel like I'm fighting a losing battle. Then, when I point out my issues, I'm made to feel like I'm being ridiculous.

I have the same problem with my DH. Thankfully he only goes to a grocery store about 2 times/year.

Lisa_M
06-09-2009, 07:58 AM
I have the same problem with DH too! I have no tips for you, except the last time DH bought 10 Hungry Man dinners to take for his lunch every day, I took them back. He has high triglycerides, the LAST thing he needs is that crap. He was really mad at me, but hasn't purchased them since.

I've been harping on him for the last two weeks to pack lunch and not go out. He has gone out every day except 2 for the last two weeks and spent almost $10 each time. How do I know? He refuses to use cash so I see it on our bank account or CC and can't understand why I care so much about us using cash (attempting Dave Ramsey with no support).

I feel for you. Don't let him go shopping or go with him.

starwood
06-09-2009, 07:58 AM
I would at least take the receipt and return the paper towels and the ziplock bags.

I sent DH to the store when I was sick and wrote out a list - I put Nature's Promise and on the next line cage free eggs (they were on sale). He came home with Nature's promise butter (I had margarine on the list) and Land of Lakes cage free eggs (not on sale).

They think they are helping but....

mjkacmom
06-09-2009, 08:39 AM
I've done atkins, and there is no way lasagna and chicken pot pie are on that diet - a few carbs will totally stop the chemical process of fat burning. Heck, a cracker will cause a 5 pound weight gain! :lmao: DH stopped by this cool hispanic large grocery store, and bought a FIVE POUND can of stuffed grape leaves (couldn't resist, only $5). It's been sitting in the cabinet for about a year now.

HeyIt'sMe
06-09-2009, 08:53 AM
My DH has done our weekly grocery shopping for the last 2 weeks. I hate grocery shopping so he's taken the shopping list and gone so I don't have to.

He's done a good job sticking to the list but last week he came home with a HUGE $17 bottle of olive oil. :scared1: He said "it was on the list and we use it alot so I got a big bottle".

maggiew
06-09-2009, 08:57 AM
I guess I should feel lucky that DH hasn't stepped foot in the grocery store in the entire 18 years we have been married.

Maggie

Praying Colonel
06-09-2009, 09:03 AM
A couple of things here:

--From experience, I can tell you there's no way you can do low carb by winging it. I found I had to make a weekly menu ahead of time, then make my grocery list from that. It requires a lot of discipline, and if your DH is a "free spirit," that may not be the best plan for him.

--DW is the "free spirit" in our family, and that includes grocery shopping. She goes without a list and just browses the aisles and picks up what looks good. I'm the one who has to do the shopping or we'd spend twice as much as we would otherwise and still not get everything we need. So it's not just a "DH thing," ladies. ;)

Jen_in_NH
06-09-2009, 09:36 AM
My husband is actually fairly good at shopping. He will go with a list, and pick up what is on it. He will NOT use coupons though. He hates going with me if I have a big coupon order. I've found if I give him a list with the brand, the size, and the amount, he does really well.

Jen

merekc
06-09-2009, 10:07 AM
I too have a DH that I hate to send into the store. We always end up with a Family Size pack of good-quality steaks at about $50+ for the pack.:scared1:

Maybe they are going with the philosophy...if I screw it up, I won't be asked to do it again.:lmao:

ceecee
06-09-2009, 10:09 AM
That is almost funny if it didn't really happen! You at least are stocked with TP and Bounty towels for a while! My DH never grocery shops either and if he does stop in for something always manages to find donuts and chips to add to the order!!!

DisneyCowgirl
06-09-2009, 10:14 AM
I too feel your pain! DH has had a lot of extra time lately so "helps out" by going to the grocery. He doesn't look at prices, doesn't use the coupons, buys some crazy stuf, and we have had soooo much junk food in the house. At least he does buy things we will eat. I have tried to keep a good attitude and remember that he is trying to be helpful. And I have returned a couple of things.

Jsme
06-09-2009, 10:20 AM
That is such a man thing. They go where is close. Get what looks good at the time. And never think about price.

Recently I was very sick and had to send DH to the grocery store. Believe me I was desperate if I sent him. I knew he would only go to one grocery store and I knew he would refuse to go to Walmart. Off her goes, he had to call me to question the whipping cream to buy. He went on as he stood int he isle telling me how much each item was he had in his cart. I was freakin out but did not say too much. I told him he could go to Walmart where things were at least $1 less per idea or just pay for what he was getting. He shocked me to say he was going to put back the items and go to Walmart. He came home and said he could not believe how much more Food Lion was then Walmart. lol We figured the savings and for the 5 items he was buying he saved over $5.

Now do I think he would do this again? No. lol I cringe when I think of him going to the grocery store.

npmommie
06-09-2009, 10:30 AM
I guess I should feel lucky that DH hasn't stepped foot in the grocery store in the entire 18 years we have been married.

Maggie

really??? not even once? wow

mrsbornkuntry
06-09-2009, 11:04 AM
I am very lucky, my DH is great at grocery shopping IF I give him a specific list. It has to have every single item that we need on it though so it's pretty tedious, like when I go I won't write down things like milk that I know we get every time, but I have to write it down for him. He started shopping for me when I was pregnant for #5 because I tired out easily. Now I normally do it, but last week I wasn't feeling well so I went to Walmart and asked him to go to Food Lion to buy some sale items with coupons and he did awesome. He bought what I specifically had on the list, used my coupons, plus I was able to say "check to see if they have any meat marked down" and he came home with some awesome deals on stew beef and ground beef. Oh, and to make it even more remarkable, he took our "spirited" 5yo DS with him :rotfl2: (but I did put a candy bar for DS on the list, lol).

Adi12982
06-09-2009, 11:50 AM
I am so sorry!! That really blows. Can you return the non-perishables. Most grocery store's I have been to will take them back - I'd be taking the bounty, charmin, ziplocks, and the frozen meals back.

Thank you for reminding me how thankful I am for my DH - he doesn't buy anything if it i s not on the list. . . . hopefully your DH will get on the same page as you soon!

Praying Colonel
06-09-2009, 11:54 AM
That is such a man thing. They go where is close. Get what looks good at the time. And never think about price.

Excuse me, but this DH makes at least 4 different stops when I do the weekly grocery shopping:

--A local farmer's market where I can get in-season veggies grown locally;
--Wal-Mart, which has the lowest prices in our area for meat and canned goods;
--Meijer, which has the best prices and selection for veggies I can't get at the farmers market;
--Kroger, for anything I don't get/can't find at the other 3.

I'm the one who's pricing cost per oz. or cost per serving, to the point where DW doesn't want to go with me anymore because she doesn't want to get that deep into the weeds on pricing things out.

OK, I now return you to your regularly-scheduled husband-bashing, already in progress. ;)

WDWorBUST
06-09-2009, 01:33 PM
Excuse me, but this DH makes at least 4 different stops when I do the weekly grocery shopping:

--A local farmer's market where I can get in-season veggies grown locally;
--Wal-Mart, which has the lowest prices in our area for meat and canned goods;
--Meijer, which has the best prices and selection for veggies I can't get at the farmers market;
--Kroger, for anything I don't get/can't find at the other 3.

I'm the one who's pricing cost per oz. or cost per serving, to the point where DW doesn't want to go with me anymore because she doesn't want to get that deep into the weeds on pricing things out.

OK, I now return you to your regularly-scheduled husband-bashing, already in progress. ;)

Would you come be my personal grocery shopper :rotfl:

I hate grocery shopping almost as much as my 5 year old DD who makes it absolutely miserable does! My DH actually does a pretty good job when I send him with a list....even when I don't he doesn't buy anything too far out there!

Laura
06-09-2009, 02:31 PM
Excuse me, but this DH makes at least 4 different stops when I do the weekly grocery shopping:

--A local farmer's market where I can get in-season veggies grown locally;
--Wal-Mart, which has the lowest prices in our area for meat and canned goods;
--Meijer, which has the best prices and selection for veggies I can't get at the farmers market;
--Kroger, for anything I don't get/can't find at the other 3.

I'm the one who's pricing cost per oz. or cost per serving, to the point where DW doesn't want to go with me anymore because she doesn't want to get that deep into the weeds on pricing things out.

OK, I now return you to your regularly-scheduled husband-bashing, already in progress. ;)

You sound like my DH. I just follow him around the grocery store and buy things that are shiny and brightly colored. :rotfl:

He's even trained to know what's vegetarian and what isn't! :lovestruc

robsmom
06-09-2009, 02:56 PM
Excuse me, but this DH makes at least 4 different stops when I do the weekly grocery shopping:

--A local farmer's market where I can get in-season veggies grown locally;
--Wal-Mart, which has the lowest prices in our area for meat and canned goods;
--Meijer, which has the best prices and selection for veggies I can't get at the farmers market;
--Kroger, for anything I don't get/can't find at the other 3.

I'm the one who's pricing cost per oz. or cost per serving, to the point where DW doesn't want to go with me anymore because she doesn't want to get that deep into the weeds on pricing things out.

OK, I now return you to your regularly-scheduled husband-bashing, already in progress. ;)


I am going to join your in that I have say my DH is a good food shopper. We almost always go as a family. I have the outside aisles (bakery/deli/veg/fruit/dairy/meat) and he has the inside aisles (cereal, soda, paper products, canned stuff, etc.). We meet somewhere in either the meat or frozen foods! We go through a lot of diet coke and he is totally in tune with the pricing - knows when cans are good or 2-liters. He only buys Papertowels, tissues, TP, detergent etc. when on sale. We make no list. He knows what is in the pantry and shops based on what we need and what is on sale. Sometimes he will go through the line without me and buy the limit and then come back with his cart for the second round together.

pianoronni37
06-09-2009, 03:07 PM
I have to say, that is really funny - if only it didn't actually happen and waste money/food! Seriously - 15 packs of lunch meat??? FIVE frozen dinners - that no one can even eat?? My goodness... he probably thought he was doing a good job, too!

My DH is the complete opposite - I'm more likely to buy useless groceries! My DH goes around and compares price per ounce, one paper towel brand with another (along with coupons), the least expensive meats for the week (and if bulk will even fit in our freezer!).

I must have gotten lucky to have a budget-minded spouse, since I am the spender of the family!!! :rolleyes1

donald&daisy
06-09-2009, 03:28 PM
Sounds like he went shopping when he was hungry. When I go shopping hungry I end up with all kinds of stuff that I wouldn't normally buy. I was do as PPs suggested and just return what you can. Dbf and I always go grocery shopping together. I usually make the meal plan and then he helps when I run out of ideas and I have like 5 days of tacos on the menu (so easy, and so yummy).

merekc
06-09-2009, 03:37 PM
Deleted... Cause I'm a Dork!:rotfl:

merekc
06-09-2009, 03:40 PM
You sound like my DH. I just follow him around the grocery store and buy things that are shiny and brightly colored. :rotfl:



Meant to quote this because it made me LOL.:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

I originally deleted this part of the quote. :rolleyes1

kismet1003
06-09-2009, 03:41 PM
I feel bad reading this. Shouldn't they be able to buy what they want? I don't mean that in a snarky way, but it seems like they are just trying to help out and they should be 'allowed' to do whatever they want. I don't have kids and we aren't on a forced budget, so I have no right jumping in, I know :flower3:

cwasil
06-09-2009, 03:48 PM
I've got slow down the pace of husband bashing wives here a bit :). In our household I buy the groceries...my wife knows her limitations (which seems to be impulse buying). I'll cut coupons and marry them up with the store sales and go shopping several times a week. I've got no problem making several trips to our local stores (Walmart, Piggly Wiggly, PicknSave & Walgreens) if the price is right. Most of the receipts show a percentage saved from coupons and sales of around 33% to 50% so I think I'm doing alright for the family.

We actually do something a little different in our household in order for us to stay on top of our cost cutting measures since it is so easy to fall off the bandwagon...the savings go into a fund for our Disney Vacation. Not sure when it'll be yet but it's amazing how focused you become on price per oz and how I can rattle off a good price for green grapes, chuck roast or raisin bran. When you set a goal and everyone's on board it's alot of fun. I seem to save around a couple hundred dollars a month for the trip, nobody seems to do without and the kids think it's fun as I post the receipts and add the savings total to grand total.

Not all husbands are bad...some are just nerdier that others I suppose...

ilovejack02
06-09-2009, 04:06 PM
I have to stick for the men.. well at least some LOL.

My hubby is really good at grocery shopping. He breaks it down to price per ounce.

Neither of us really use coupons, but we always try to find the best deal. He is much better about sticking the list too.


OP I would return what you can asap!!

DCLbrideSept2009
06-09-2009, 04:12 PM
DF was never really a "bargain shopper" until he met me! now he realizes how much of a "high" it is to save money and find bargains! he doesn't usually go shopping without me unless i send him for something specific... most of the time, we shop together... even without me, i can depend on him to shop frugally, though...

HeatherBelle614
06-09-2009, 04:19 PM
DH does a good job now. I compare ads with the coupons I have, and make him a detailed list. I'll star every item that he needs to use a coupon for to make sure he's checking his coupon requirements with what he's buying. So far, the times he's gone alone (we've only been married a year), he's been OK, except for one time, which I think is why he pays attention now.

Right after we got married, I sent him to a store to check out a chicken ad; the ad was buy one 2lb pack of chicken, and get the other free, but it didn't list how much the chicken was per lb. He knows that I very rarely pay over $3.00lb for chicken (and that's high for us, normally we hit great sales.)

He goes to the store and texts me that he got the chicken. I checked the (online) bank statement and it was for $18-something!!! :scared1::scared1:

I called him and said you paid $18-something for two packs of chicken??! And he says "Yes, it was buy one get one free." But, I asked him to think about what I normally pay per pound. He thinks about it for a second, then says "Oh, I got ripped off, huh?" They had marked up the price so high that the two packs cost twice as much as what I'd buy normally!

Since then, he's been good and thinks before he pays. ;)

EDIT: Actually, he went to the store for me yesterday. He called me insanely proud of himself that he got 7 boxes of cereal and 3 gallons of milk for $14. (And, it was good Kellogg's cereal and the expensive protein enriched Borden's milk.) Granted, we won't use all of the milk, but my mom runs a home daycare and will be more than happy to take 2 of them off of our hands. But still, I was proud!

bumbershoot
06-09-2009, 04:20 PM
I feel bad reading this. Shouldn't they be able to buy what they want? I don't mean that in a snarky way, but it seems like they are just trying to help out and they should be 'allowed' to do whatever they want. I don't have kids and we aren't on a forced budget, so I have no right jumping in, I know :flower3:

But it doesn't seem that the food or items he bought are actually useful. The lunchmeat, buying so much at one time, isn't all that healthy and might go bad (or at least go forgotten and then go bad). The frozen meals aren't helpful for anyone in the household b/c they are watching what they eat and their child doesn't eat most of it. The paper goods aren't needed and there's no room for them.

Helping isn't always helping.

I don't see this post as being husband-bashing...I think it might be just complaining about that particular spouse...

My hubby is good *as long as he's not hungry*. And the same could be said for me!

merekc
06-09-2009, 04:33 PM
Deleted.

Cindy B
06-09-2009, 04:46 PM
I have to defend men. Last weekend I was so sick. Like sleep for 20 hours a day sick... and well the grocery shopping didn't get done.

DH and DD went and did an incredible job. In my medicine induced stupor I don't even remember what I scribbled out as the list.. I bet I wrote something like akjh$)% instead of coffee.

He came back with an amazing amount of food, without coupons (Most of mine expired and I did forget to give him the coupon folder) He went to my cheaper store, got what was needed and left.

He would do such a great job every week if needed. I do see this as a bit of bashing involved here.

punkin
06-09-2009, 04:50 PM
Sounds like he went shopping when he was hungry. When I go shopping hungry I end up with all kinds of stuff that I wouldn't normally buy. I was do as PPs suggested and just return what you can. Dbf and I always go grocery shopping together. I usually make the meal plan and then he helps when I run out of ideas and I have like 5 days of tacos on the menu (so easy, and so yummy).

That's it exactly it. I think his "diet" is not working for him.

rynosmom
06-09-2009, 05:21 PM
I'd get the receipt and take back what ever I could. My DH will only go to the supermarket if I forget to pick something up. He will for the most part stick to the list but there always some ice cream that seems to fall into the basket before check out.

disykat
06-09-2009, 05:43 PM
Is the OP married to my dh? DH likes to sit at the dinner table and critique how I could do a better job with the nutrition of our meals. Then he goes to the store and decides to "help me" by picking up some things while he's there.

It's a running joke between me and the kids trying to tell him "don't buy fishsticks and canned vegetables." I don't want them, the kids don't want them. He is trying to be "healthy" so obviously they're not for him. Who is he buying them for?:confused3

PHXscuba
06-09-2009, 06:00 PM
I don't think it's just the husbands -- OP's experience was with her spouse, but it's obvious many men could (and have) written this about their wives.

I think anyone shopping without a list is susceptible to this kind of shopping. That's how the supermarkets make money, not off the coupon-clipping bargain hunters. We all want what looks good in the store or seems like a great buy because of the big sign.

The OP's dilemma seems to be as much about WHAT he bought -- things not on their diet, things she already had too many of -- rather than the raw amount he spent. That's kind of a different problem than just shopping without considering price or coupons.

Usually in a relationship one person is the primary shopper. The once-in-a-while shopper is going to need a specific, selective list because they aren't used to what gets bought and how much to pay. The "secondary shopper" will never meet the "primary shopper's" expectations otherwise.

And yes, I've had this happen with DH, but I've also had it happen with my own mother!

PHXscuba

Adi12982
06-09-2009, 06:37 PM
I've got slow down the pace of husband bashing wives here a bit :).

I think if everyone read the whole thread - as I have - you'd see that there are many women (including me on the top of page 2) saying our husbands do well. . . . I think the OP was just talking about her specific DH and not all husbands, lol! I think there are many husbands that could say the same about their wives - and do (shoe shopping, etc).

I am thankful both DH and I are on the same page :)