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View Full Version : Twin b-day party; dd only friends with 1, how to handle?


amsafko
06-06-2009, 08:26 AM
My dd was invited to party for twins from her school but she really only knows the one child - are we expected to buy presents for both?

RobinFabulous
06-06-2009, 08:32 AM
My dd was invited to party for twins from her school but she really only knows the one child - are we expected to buy presents for both?

Could you buy a game or something that could be shared?
Then put both names on it.

That's what I'd do

espana94
06-06-2009, 08:39 AM
My dd was invited to party for twins from her school but she really only knows the one child - are we expected to buy presents for both?

We had that situation when DD was younger, only it was for triplets. I opted for a joint gift for all three. We bought a game that all three, plus Mom and Dad, could enjoy, bought one card and put all three of their names on the card. Since it was three kids, I did spend a little more on the game.

What about getting some outdoor toys and making a gift bag full of outdoor fun for both kids...you could put in a couple small super soakers, some splash balls, a frisbee or some type of ball game for two, maybe a big bottle of bubbles. You can find all sorts of those toys at Walmart, KMart and Target.

Hope this helps. Espana

dislal
06-06-2009, 08:53 AM
My DD11 is friends with twins, one more than the other, but when she was invited to the birthday party by one of them, (they each gave out a certain amount of invites) we bought them both a gift. I usually spend $20-25 per birthday she is invited to, but this party we only spent $15 per girl. We were creative and did a little budget shopping and their gift still looked nice.

spare+a_pair
06-06-2009, 08:53 AM
Hi there! I am a mom of twin boys - I am NEVER offended when children come to our party and only bring a gift for the twin that they know/are friends with. In fact, I make sure that parents know that they SHOULD NOT buy a gift for the other twin. They are having a party as well, with thier own friends who are invited.

Joint gifts can be ok, but I even discourage that a bit. They are twins and share EVERYTHING - toys, birthdays, and time. I would rather parents who come to my kiddos party to buy only for the twin they are friends with. And just like any other siblings, more often than not, they have very different intrests.

Now, I will say, when we go to parties where both of my twins are friends with the child, we buy two gifts for them. One from each twin. For me, I feel this is appropriate, AND it cuts down on the headache of who gave thier joint friend the gift :rotfl:

bgirl29
06-06-2009, 09:06 AM
My dd8 is going to a birthday party today for twins. I bought gifts for both girls. While it is true that this year she is better friends with one of the girls than the other, I figure next year she may have the other twin in her class and then be better friends with her. She also was in prek a few years ago with both of these girls. So she does know and play with both of them. I can totally see only buying a gift for one of the girls though if your child only plays with one, but for our situation I thought 2 gifts was the way to go.

Now I am still trying to figure out how to handle the fact that there is going to be a pool at this party and I want to stay to keep an eye on my daughter.

BuzzPrincessMom
06-06-2009, 09:14 AM
Hi there! I am a mom of twin boys - I am NEVER offended when children come to our party and only bring a gift for the twin that they know/are friends with. In fact, I make sure that parents know that they SHOULD NOT buy a gift for the other twin. They are having a party as well, with thier own friends who are invited.

Joint gifts can be ok, but I even discourage that a bit. They are twins and share EVERYTHING - toys, birthdays, and time. I would rather parents who come to my kiddos party to buy only for the twin they are friends with. And just like any other siblings, more often than not, they have very different intrests.

Now, I will say, when we go to parties where both of my twins are friends with the child, we buy two gifts for them. One from each twin. For me, I feel this is appropriate, AND it cuts down on the headache of who gave thier joint friend the gift :rotfl:

Okay another Mom of twins here. I too NEVER expect DD friends to bring gifts for DS, and my children don't either. I send out invites to DD's friends, you are invited to DD's party. When they get there, they see DS's friends are there too.

When my twins are both invited to a party, they each pick out a gift for the birthday child. They have a lower price limit but it makes them feel like individuals.

Aliceacc
06-06-2009, 09:41 AM
My 6 year old was invited to a twin birthday party.

I bought a "good" gift for the twin she knows, and a token (I think it was a $3 jigsaw puzzle) for the twin she doesn't.

Mickeyherewecome123
06-06-2009, 11:06 AM
Okay another Mom of twins here. I too NEVER expect DD friends to bring gifts for DS, and my children don't either. I send out invites to DD's friends, you are invited to DD's party. When they get there, they see DS's friends are there too.

When my twins are both invited to a party, they each pick out a gift for the birthday child. They have a lower price limit but it makes them feel like individuals.

Another mom of twins here too. I have to totally agree with the above post.

PolyndianPrincessJes
06-06-2009, 01:25 PM
There are three sets of twins in DS3's (4 in 4 days!!) pre-school class. One set always brings two gifts when invited to a party, the other brings one gift and we are not in the same social circle as the other set. We reciprocate in the same manner. The set that brings two gifts will receive two gifts, and the set that brings one gift will receive one gift. I'm closer with the mom of the set that brings one gift, and she said everything they get at this age ends up in a community pile, anyway, so it's not a big deal to them. As they get older, if we remain friends, I imagine we will get them their own gift, as they may have completely different interests by then.

marshallandcartersmo
06-06-2009, 04:06 PM
My boys are 3 years & 4 days apart, and we always have a joint party. BUT, I always make up 3 different invitations. One for people that are friends w/both boys (family, and friends of ours) that reads "come to our party", one for DS8's friends that reads "come to my party", and another one for DS5's friends that reads "come to my party".

It's more work but it only happens once a year, and it makes parents not have to wonder.

In your case, I'd just bring one gift w/both boys names on it.

shebjo
06-06-2009, 06:52 PM
I am the parent of twin girls ... and will be having their 7th birthday party in July. It's sometimes hard to know how to handle tehse sitauations so I am fine if teh kids get 1 gift (from the kid they are most friendly with, two gifts or if they get a shared gift). Most of the kids we are inviting to their party are from their school and my girls share alot of the same friends and so most of the kids invited are friends with both my twins. At my kids school - twins are not in the same class and they change teh make-up of the kids in the next school year. So for example, my girls were in separate kindergarden classes last year (there are 4 kindergarten classes) ...so each twin had friends from their respective kindergarden class. Now this year they are in
1st grade and so the school changed up the kids. In other words, kids that were in one twin's kindergarden class ...are now in the other twin's 1st grade class...so my girls consier those kids to be both their friends. So when i send out the invitations , I usually put taht teh birthday party is for both girls.

sk!mom
06-06-2009, 07:08 PM
Okay another Mom of twins here. I too NEVER expect DD friends to bring gifts for DS, and my children don't either. I send out invites to DD's friends, you are invited to DD's party. When they get there, they see DS's friends are there too.



DD has a couple of sets of twin friends and this is how both of their parents handle parties. In fact the first time she was invited to the party of the b/g set I wondered if they were having seperate parties as the invitation invited her to Bree's party with no mention of her brother. When we got there it was a joint party but there were seperate cakes, seperate gift tables, and seperate guests.

vegasnative
06-06-2009, 07:24 PM
Another mom of twins checking....but here to say that as the "host" of the b-day party that person really shouldn't "expect" anything. I don't expect people to bring 2 separate gifts to my twins parties, whatever they bring I am grateful and try to teach that to the kids as well. If anyone gets upset over any type of gift...well shame on them. I would say if you are wanting to take something for both, then do so, but if you would only like to take 1 gift for the one b-day person your child knows then by all means, do that. Hopefully the mom will teach her twins that they are individuals and they are bound to have individual friends, they are not always going to get the same things/amounts. :thumbsup2

As a side note, the person with the spare + a pair screen name...I LOVE that!!! I always say we have twins n 1...I may have to borrow your version, except I would say we have a pair & a spare...as that is the way they came!

TupperMom7
06-06-2009, 10:05 PM
We have boy/girl twins. When they both get invited to someone's party, they each buy a gift. I always try to spend the same amount on friends parties, cousins I spend more on.

When we have parties for our twins that include kids from school, my son invites his friends and my daughter invites her friends. We had a party in December at a rollerskating rink. They each had their own friends come to the party and the friends brought gifts for only one child. In fact, they all set at different tables - girls at one and boys at another, but they had a good time skating all together. :cutie:

JoyG
06-07-2009, 09:10 AM
I have twin sons (and a younger son who thinks he's the 3rd twin).

When they both get invited to a party, we bring one gift, but I spend more on the gift than I would usually spend on a birthday gift.

I threw the twins a birthday party last summer. Each son invited all the boys from his class. Unfortunately, after everyone rsvp'd, it ended up that one son had many friends there and the other son only had a few friends.

I really appreciated the people who put both names on the gifts (which was most of the parents) instead of just addressing it to child or the other. Because it would have been really inequitable if they had just given to the twin they know.

I told my kids before the party though, whatever they get for their birthday they're going to share whether their name is on it or not.

mjkacmom
06-07-2009, 09:12 AM
There are three sets of twins in DS3's (4 in 4 days!!) pre-school class. One set always brings two gifts when invited to a party, the other brings one gift and we are not in the same social circle as the other set. We reciprocate in the same manner. The set that brings two gifts will receive two gifts, and the set that brings one gift will receive one gift. I'm closer with the mom of the set that brings one gift, and she said everything they get at this age ends up in a community pile, anyway, so it's not a big deal to them. As they get older, if we remain friends, I imagine we will get them their own gift, as they may have completely different interests by then.

I usually give 1 gift from my twins, because, as a parent, I prefer to have less "stuff," but I spend twice as much - I'd rather buy a $40 gift than 2 $20 gifts.

StitchFanZ
06-07-2009, 09:50 AM
>> Now I am still trying to figure out how to handle the fact that there is going to be a pool at this party and I want to stay to keep an eye on my daughter.

Call the mom and let her know your concern and that you want to stay. We have a pool and I always appreciate a few exra mom's sitting around the pool. And groups of kids tend to get wilder and need a bit more supervision when it comes safely using slides and diving boards. Some kids have no sense of safety in groups, so for parties I usually ask a few parents to stay and promise to sit by the pool.

Tree
06-07-2009, 10:25 AM
Another mom of twins here too. I have to totally agree with the above post.

Yes same here.... we want the company of the friends

LisaNJ25
06-07-2009, 04:20 PM
My boys are 3 years & 4 days apart, and we always have a joint party. BUT, I always make up 3 different invitations. One for people that are friends w/both boys (family, and friends of ours) that reads "come to our party", one for DS8's friends that reads "come to my party", and another one for DS5's friends that reads "come to my party".

It's more work but it only happens once a year, and it makes parents not have to wonder.

In your case, I'd just bring one gift w/both boys names on it.

Ohhh that is a good idea. My younger 2 are 12 months and 6 days apart. Its been joint family/close friends parties so far mixed in with my 9yo because her birthday is a few days before. I wont have to worry about it to much until they are a little older since they have end of august/September 1st birthdays and I refuse to send invitations out the first week of school to new classmates.

spare+a_pair
06-07-2009, 04:43 PM
As a side note, the person with the spare + a pair screen name...I LOVE that!!! I always say we have twins n 1...I may have to borrow your version, except I would say we have a pair & a spare...as that is the way they came!

:thumbsup2 Thanks! My twin club had this put on magnetic bumper stickers and we sold them at a mothers of multiples convention - they sold like hotcakes! It was pretty popular. I think as a mom of multiples, you always think about the singleton that gets lsft out of all of the "twin awe". ;)