Dumped at 35

[Stacy's a freak]

It's 6:30 a.m. on a Sunday and I can't sleep. Forgive me for spewing my problems into the WWW but I'm still trying to wrap my head around this. So he said those dreaded words (after 2 1/2 years, mind you), "I love you but I'm not IN LOVE with you." Well, in the words of Bill Murray in The Royal Tennenbaum's, 'well, I want to die.' A little melodramatic ... yes. But after a failed marriage at 30 and this at 35, I'm feeling really raw right now.

So thanks for letting me vent to my DISupport group. Anyone know of any elligible bachelors in the central ny area with all of his teeth and a respectable job? kidding ...

[wishspirit]

It's 6:30 a.m. on a Sunday and I can't sleep. Forgive me for spewing my problems into the WWW but I'm still trying to wrap my head around this. So he said those dreaded words (after 2 1/2 years, mind you), "I love you but I'm not IN LOVE with you." Well, in the words of Bill Murray in The Royal Tennenbaum's, 'well, I want to die.' A little melodramatic ... yes. But after a failed marriage at 30 and this at 35, I'm feeling really raw right now.

So thanks for letting me vent to my DISupport group. Anyone know of any elligible bachelors in the central ny area with all of his teeth and a respectable job? kidding ...

I don't know what to say but :hug:

Don't worry about venting, we will always be here for you on the Dis!

[QuirkyButterfly]

You poor thing, we are all here for you. :hug: I know that it is difficult now but just remember that you have your friends here and we will be thinking of you.

[OKW Lover]

I don't know if this will help but: :grouphug:

As to looking for somebody new, this might help: :pixiedust:

And don't confine your search to your local neighborhood. Magically, I actually met my wife at WDW. Its a wonderful place to leave the real world behind.

[Mouse Skywalker]

I'm so sorry to hear this Stacy. We're here for you. Hang in there.

[IWISHFORDISNEY]

What a creep........Ooops did I say that.:grouphug: hang in there it is so hard. We are here vent away!

[mikelan6]

I'm so sorry to hear this. I know how this fees as I broke with my partner of five years last week. It was not an easy decision - I had thought about it long and hard for months. What made me decide for sure was finding missing cash in my "emergency lock box" - that was just on top of all the other lies he always told me. I just could not live with him any more and I know that I could rather be happy alone rather than miserable with him. I don't think I could ever fully trust him again.

Good luck to you Stacy !!! ... and both of us.

[dpuck1998]

:grouphug:

[Bornteach]

Stacey-

I know what you are feeling, you can't believe you have to start all over again.....I am so sorry for your pain.

Although I am not sure it helps, I am always a firm believer in things happen for a reason. THere are still a couple of events I am waiting to understand but hopefully yours will become clear sooner.

I am sorry for your pain but we are here for you!

:grouphug:

[scarlett873]

:grouphug:

Been there, done that...have the divorce papers to prove it.

Hang in there!!

[Stacy's a freak]

I'm so sorry to hear this. I know how this fees as I broke with my partner of five years last week. It was not an easy decision - I had thought about it long and hard for months. What made me decide for sure was finding missing cash in my "emergency lock box" - that was just on top of all the other lies he always told me. I just could not live with him any more and I know that I could rather be happy alone rather than miserable with him. I don't think I could ever fully trust him again.

Good luck to you Stacy !!! ... and both of us.

:grouphug: to you too! I'm so sorry that you had to go through that :( Trust is so important - it makes a person feel so disrepected to be lied to. In my case, I guess I'm thankful that he was finally honest with me in the end but if I hear that Meatloaf song "Two Outta Three Ain't Bad" ever again I'm going to punch the radio!

Thanks everyone for your kind thoughts. I really do appreciate them!!

[*NikkiBell*]

Double hugs and pixie dust coming your way, Stacy!

[TXYankee]

:grouphug:

I am sorry you have to go through this. I wish you a future full of love.

[SamSam]

:grouphug: What better place to vent than here with all your DIS friends.
Hang in there, and remember sometimes are you can do is 'just breathe".

[cocowum]

:grouphug:

[msteddom]

I'm so sorry.:grouphug:

Melissa

[parrotheadlois]

:grouphug: Oh Stacey:sad2:

Men.......such commitment-phobes

I'm soooo sorry....

[Disneydonnam]

Stacey,
I am sorry you are going through this. It will get easier as time goes on. We just had to help my brother in a similar situation. He was with his girlfriend for 5 yrs. He booked an awesome three wk vac to take her on and was getting ready to look at houses for the both of them. Out of the blue she comes out with how do I know you are the one I want to be with. She told him she wanted to date others and find out if he is who she wanted to be with. You will find out in time you are better off.

[dvcfamily41801]

Awww Stac..Im sorry!:hug: Hang in there and we are all here for you.

[SGB13]

I know words may not help, but hope the :grouphug: and pixiedust: can. Besides 35 is young! :rolleyes1

[cathie1327]

Stacey I'm so so so so SO sorry to hear this. Unfortunately, love is one of the most wonderful feelings in the world but on the flipside can make you feel worse than anything else in the world too. I know it's tough but just remember to take things a day at a time. If you have a particularly rough day, everyone here is always willing to listen to you vent!!!!! (We listen to Pete's rants, and enjoy doing so, so I think we can handle anything else haha!!! ;))

Hang in there and I'm really sorry for your pain. :hug: :hug: :hug:

[tickledtink33]

:grouphug:

[halliesmommy01]

I am sorry Stacy. :grouphug:

Becky

[dustyraye]

:grouphug:

Remember, love can happen at any age. I was 39 when I met my DP, and she was 50.

[Whipperwhirl]

Everyone has said it - but Im also sorry for what you are going through. We are watching our friends / neighbors go through a divorce right now - its just so painful to watch. Be thankful you didn't get married or have kids - you and I are the same age - you have plenty of your life ahead of you - tons of time to find true love - Check out the singles board on the Dis - plent of people are hooking up over there. Good Luck - Whip.

[Stacy's a freak]

:grouphug: Oh Stacey:sad2:

Men.......such commitment-phobes

I'm soooo sorry....

haha - funny, my mom said the same thing!

Thanks again everyone. This day has sucked but I do know that it will get better... right now I think I'm mourning the loss of my best friend.

[daneenm]

I'm so sorry Stacy! Hang in there.

:grouphug:

[Cyrano]

Stacey as others have said we are here for you :grouphug:

[stitchlover]

So sorry to hear...hope the right guy comes along soon for you!

[aGoofyMom]

:grouphug:

[DisneyKevin]

I was 42 when I met John.

While it hurts now, tell yourself that the right one is worth the wait.

[jcarter29]

I am so sorry you are going through this and I hope you find all of the love and support possible here at the dis.
kim

[DUHgreg]

:grouphug: Oh Stacey:sad2:

Men.......such commitment-phobes


SAY WHAT?!?!??!

Sorry, had to get that out of my system.

Stacy,
Sad to hear what happened. We're with you.:grouphug:

[Tonya2426]

I'm so sorry you are having to go through this. :hug: Sometimes love just sucks. :sad2: One thing that usually helps me in situations like this is to keep a journal. Just write whatever you are feeling right now - it helps to just get it out of your head sometimes.

[aspen37]

I'm sorry you are having to go through this! It sucks breaking up.:grouphug:

[maiziezoe]

:grouphug:

[alexandria674]

I am sorry for the break up...well, I hope you find your Prince Charming soon. :flower3:

[saturday97]

Stacy,
The fact that you used a Royal Tennenbaums quote proves to me that you are a cool gal and in need of someone with a quick wit and a great sense of humor.

Hang in there-- this can be a great opportunity to get to know yourself and find out what YOU want in a relationship. :goodvibes

[parrotheadlois]

SAY WHAT?!?!??!

Sorry, had to get that out of my system.

Stacy,
Sad to hear what happened. We're with you.:grouphug:

Ok Stacy, just understand, it took me 15 YEARS to get Greg to make the giant leap to husband-hood.....see what I mean about commitment-phobes?

Hope all is well, it was fun playing AC with you on Friday, hope to catch up with you again,
Lois

[Stacy's a freak]

I'm so sorry you are having to go through this. :hug: Sometimes love just sucks. :sad2: One thing that usually helps me in situations like this is to keep a journal. Just write whatever you are feeling right now - it helps to just get it out of your head sometimes.

This is definitely a great idea ... I might buy a journal at lunch today and start right away. I'm really not the type to sit in a corner and feel sorry for myself so I'm beginning to annoy myself with my dumb crying. Thank you for the idea - I'm on it.

Lois and Greg, you two are too funny! Just tell me where I can find a tiara-hair-wearing Habeeb and I'm there - haha.

My two best girlfriends are having a "break-up" party for me on Wednesday night. I just thank god for all of the support out there. Thanks again everybody!

[Superjoint_Ritual]

My heart goes out to you. Right now Im going through a divorce and custody battle.

[fakereadhed]

More hugs!:grouphug:

Better to hear it now than two years from now, 10 years from now, etc.

So many of my divorced friends are hanging on to guys that aren't really into them(based on their behavior)and I hate to see them wasting their time when they could be finding real love. Like Kevin said, it's worth waiting for.

[Stacy's a freak]

More hugs!:grouphug:

Better to hear it now than two years from now, 10 years from now, etc.

So many of my divorced friends are hanging on to guys that aren't really into them(based on their behavior)and I hate to see them wasting their time when they could be finding real love. Like Kevin said, it's worth waiting for.

This really is a good point. As much as it hurts, I really do appreciate his honesty. It really hurt to hear him say it but I also don't want to be in a relatioship that is "less than." But I wish I could just call him a d-bag and be done with it.

[alebisi]

I'm so sorry Stacey I know how hard relationships can be, hang on there and always vent here on the DIS we are here to support you!! :grouphug:

[DVCJones]

Stacy,
The fact that you used a Royal Tennenbaums quote proves to me that you are a cool gal and in need of someone with a quick wit and a great sense of humor.

Hang in there-- this can be a great opportunity to get to know yourself and find out what YOU want in a relationship. :goodvibes

I agree...You obviously have a great sense of humor. Hang in there!!!:hug:

I met my DH shortly after a VERY painful break-up with my then fiance. We dated for 7 years and it was very hard to do, but when it isn't right...it just isn't right. Keep your sense of humor. It will help you get through this.

:grouphug:

[fakereadhed]

This really is a good point. As much as it hurts, I really do appreciate his honesty. It really hurt to hear him say it but I also don't want to be in a relatioship that is "less than." But I wish I could just call him a d-bag and be done with it.

::yes:: I hear you on that one.

:hug:

[DWFan4Life]

I'm sorry to hear that Stacy. The group will always here. :hug: Just keep going.:thumbsup2

[dpic]

But I wish I could just call him a d-bag and be done with it.:lmao:Hey, we're supposed to make you laugh, not the other way around. Good luck, and please don't lower your standards. You sound like a wonderful person who deserves a great guy. PD to you :grouphug:

[WLfan]

I'm so sorry for you. I know it seems like you'll never feel "normal" or happy again, but you will. You'll move on to better things. I hope the DIS can provide you with some much needed support. We are a family! :grouphug:

[Stacy's a freak]

So he wants to be friends ...

So I agreed to go to his place not 72 hours later to watch a movie that he, his son, and I had planned on seeing together ... as friends. Damn that was hard. But I was strong :) I was able to see his son and give him a hug (the son). And I left there at 9:00 p.m. tonight. I cried a bit on the drive home but all in all, I think I'm hanging in there.

This still sucks but it really helps to know that there are people out there who DO care about me ... even "strangers" on the DIS. So thank you again everyone! For the past few days when I have had blue moments, I would logon and read the kind comments you all have written and it really does help :) I have even gotten some very nice PMs from DISfriends which is so kind.

So once again (and probably not for the last time), I just want to say thank you for all of your well wishes. In the grand scheme of things, I know that this is just a speed bump ... but the fact that everyone was so very supportive to me is a great comfort. Pixie Dust to all of you for being so kind and caring! I really do appreciate it :wizard:

[jcb]

Stacy,

Don't be "friends" - he wants what he isn't willing to give you. I've been there, heard the same thing you were told, and survived the "friend" stage, just barely.

I know it is small comfort but there is a life after this. I was the same age you are but am now married to a wonderful person - someone who makes what I went through worth it.

I wish you all the best.