Bad weekend, need my friends...

[lttlmc3]

As a lot of you remember, my husband, Shannon, was diagnosed with Bipolar disorder last Sept. It's been a struggle since then, but lately we really thought we had a hold of it. Well, unknown to me, he stopped taking his medicine. He felt so good, he thought he didn't need it. Well, yesterday he went manic and spent the day gambling online and lost a lot of money (I was out with my mother and had no clue). Then we got into an argument and he left. I was then called by him at two in the morning and asked to come pick him up at a local bar because he was being kicked out. They bouncers at this bar thought he was drunk (he wasn't) and when confronted, he tried to fight them. He didnt win of course, but it ended with him being dragged through the parking lot and now he has scratches all down his back. When I got there, he told me he hadn't taken his meds in a week, and had a major breakdown. Fortunately the bouncers understood and I was able to take him home and get him to take his medicine and get him to bed.
I've been told that sometimes, bipolars will do this. They will think they are well and stop the medicine. I just had no idea that he would be able to hide it so well until he just completely breaks down. I feel guilty for not seeing it sooner and not doing something about it.
It's strange, it's just so much easier to tell online friends about this, rather than my friends here.

[disneydreamer1970]

My best friend's DH is Bipolar and her 10 year old DD was just diagnosed, so I often see what she goes through! I am sending lots of hugs your way!!:grouphug:

Trish

[Mouse Skywalker]

You've got friends here LittleMc. I'm so sorry to hear about all this. What a tough time for you. I wish you all the best. You're in my thoughts.

[Launchpad11B]

As a lot of you remember, my husband, Shannon, was diagnosed with Bipolar disorder last Sept. It's been a struggle since then, but lately we really thought we had a hold of it. Well, unknown to me, he stopped taking his medicine. He felt so good, he thought he didn't need it. Well, yesterday he went manic and spent the day gambling online and lost a lot of money (I was out with my mother and had no clue). Then we got into an argument and he left. I was then called by him at two in the morning and asked to come pick him up at a local bar because he was being kicked out. They bouncers at this bar thought he was drunk (he wasn't) and when confronted, he tried to fight them. He didnt win of course, but it ended with him being dragged through the parking lot and now he has scratches all down his back. When I got there, he told me he hadn't taken his meds in a week, and had a major breakdown. Fortunately the bouncers understood and I was able to take him home and get him to take his medicine and get him to bed.
I've been told that sometimes, bipolars will do this. They will think they are well and stop the medicine. I just had no idea that he would be able to hide it so well until he just completely breaks down. I feel guilty for not seeing it sooner and not doing something about it.
It's strange, it's just so much easier to tell online friends about this, rather than my friends here.

:grouphug: Best wishes to your family.

[wishspirit]

Sending my best wishes, it must be very difficult for you right now. At least he knows that its working for him, and that he needs to stay on them.

All my love!

[jeanigor]

As a lot of you remember, my husband, Shannon, was diagnosed with Bipolar disorder last Sept. It's been a struggle since then, but lately we really thought we had a hold of it. Well, unknown to me, he stopped taking his medicine. He felt so good, he thought he didn't need it. Well, yesterday he went manic and spent the day gambling online and lost a lot of money (I was out with my mother and had no clue). Then we got into an argument and he left. I was then called by him at two in the morning and asked to come pick him up at a local bar because he was being kicked out. They bouncers at this bar thought he was drunk (he wasn't) and when confronted, he tried to fight them. He didnt win of course, but it ended with him being dragged through the parking lot and now he has scratches all down his back. When I got there, he told me he hadn't taken his meds in a week, and had a major breakdown. Fortunately the bouncers understood and I was able to take him home and get him to take his medicine and get him to bed.
I've been told that sometimes, bipolars will do this. They will think they are well and stop the medicine. I just had no idea that he would be able to hide it so well until he just completely breaks down. I feel guilty for not seeing it sooner and not doing something about it.
It's strange, it's just so much easier to tell online friends about this, rather than my friends here.

I've been in his spot. It's a tough place to be.

:grouphug: :grouphug: to you and him. Stick in there.

[Bornteach]

Little MC -

It is almost like a cruel joke, someone takes the meds, feels better and then wants to stop taking it. :( Only to find out, you REALLY do need it.

I am so sorry for what you are going through!

Sending lots of warm fuzzies your way!
:grouphug: :grouphug:

[FireDancer]

Wow, I'm sorry to hear that. One of my good friends is a psychologist and she says it is very common with mental disorders for patients to stop taking their meds because they feel "cured". I do hope it turns into a one-time mistake for your husband.

[carol1231]

I'm sorry that this has happened for you and your family. I hope and pray that if this happens again, you will see some signs and be able to help him get back on track before he goes to far again. You and your family will be in my prayers:grouphug:

[cocowum]

As a lot of you remember, my husband, Shannon, was diagnosed with Bipolar disorder last Sept. It's been a struggle since then, but lately we really thought we had a hold of it. Well, unknown to me, he stopped taking his medicine. He felt so good, he thought he didn't need it. Well, yesterday he went manic and spent the day gambling online and lost a lot of money (I was out with my mother and had no clue). Then we got into an argument and he left. I was then called by him at two in the morning and asked to come pick him up at a local bar because he was being kicked out. They bouncers at this bar thought he was drunk (he wasn't) and when confronted, he tried to fight them. He didnt win of course, but it ended with him being dragged through the parking lot and now he has scratches all down his back. When I got there, he told me he hadn't taken his meds in a week, and had a major breakdown. Fortunately the bouncers understood and I was able to take him home and get him to take his medicine and get him to bed.
I've been told that sometimes, bipolars will do this. They will think they are well and stop the medicine. I just had no idea that he would be able to hide it so well until he just completely breaks down. I feel guilty for not seeing it sooner and not doing something about it.
It's strange, it's just so much easier to tell online friends about this, rather than my friends here.


My Dad is Bipolar. He was diagnosed when I was a kid. It's a long, hard road I know. :hug:'s to you during this tough time.

[DVCsince02]

Sending good thoughts and pixiedust.

[georgemoe]

Prayers to you and you DH LilMc. :hug:

[halliesmommy01]

Sending Prayers, Positive thoughts and Pixie Dust your way.

Know that we are here for you.

Becky

[*NikkiBell*]

lttc, I definitely feel that I can relate. As a teacher of many students with special needs, it is quite common for people to feel they are "better" or "too good" to take their medicine. Last year, I had a student with bipolar disorder and this was very common. What became even more frustrating was when his mother would not give him his medicine because she felt that he was better or "doing okay." Hang in there. It will get better. Hugs.

[Annette_VA]

Sending good thoughts your way!:hug:

[YellowMickeyPonchos]

I wish the best for you and your family. Don't blame yourself - sometimes we're given these "learning experiences" to help us continue to grow and become stronger adults. Best thing we can do is learn from them and move forward proactively.

My advice - one thing you can do to help him is to routinely check with him about his meds. Talk about how he would like you to be a part of this, and then do it gently, so it becomes part of your expression of love and caring for him, and not a nagging.:hug:

[IWISHFORDISNEY]

Sending lots of prayers and thoughts your way. That is very common. I hope things improve quickly.:hug:

[AnneR]

I am so sorry this is happening to you and your family. The good news is that there are effective medications to help people manage this illness. The bad news is that they can lead people to believe that they are cured and they stop taking medicine.

I work for a mental health center, one of the suggestions we make to families is to connect with their local chapter of the National Alliance for the Mentally Ill. This is a family network. They have many programs and support groups for family members.

Hope your week gets better for you.

Anne

[Tonya2426]

So sorry you are having a tough time. Chronic illnesses - mental or physical - have a learning curve so just chalk it up to a lesson learned and forgive yourself because it isn't your fault. Things will get better!!! :hug:

[bcvdreamer]

:grouphug:

I have a friend who is bipolar who stopped taking meds. It's hard to watch someone you care about go through a difficult time. Please don't blame yourself.

[kab407]

Sending you good thoughts and prayers. We're for you. :hug:

[maiziezoe]

:hug: to you and your DH.

[stitchlover]

Sending thoughts and prayers your way.

[ADP]

Best wishes to you and your family. Sending a lot of pixie dust your way! :wizard:

[alebisi]

sending you lots of hugs!! you know you can always vent here, hope things get better for you.pixiedust:

[mejkjj97]

I will be keeping you and your DH in my thoughts and prayers. :grouphug:

[AllyGirl_79]

I'm sending good thoughts your way, too. Don't ever blame yourself for these things -- you can't possibly see or predict every bump in the road. Best wishes to you and DH.

[ms*mountaineer]

My brother-in-law is this way as well - does OK as long as he stay on the meds. But sometimes he'll get to thinking he can do OK without and then won't listen to reason and you can't get him to take the meds!

Good thoughts headed your way!

[daneenm]

I am so sorry you are both having to deal with this. As you can see, so many others have also gone through it in one way or another. In my family, my Mom's cousin, who is also her best friend, is bipolar. There have been many times that she has either felt great and so stopped her meds or felt 'dull' so she stopped taking them. Either way, she can be very good at hiding that she is not taking them. She has closets full of unused purchased from the periods when she has been manic.

Hang in there. I would second the suggestion that you find a support group for YOU. This is a long road and you need as much support as your husband.

[MerriePoppins]

Sending you prayers.....hang in there! :goodvibes

[MODisFan]

You and your husband will be in my prayers littlemc!

[parrotheadlois]

:grouphug:
it's so hard to feel so bad and not be able to help.

take care....:grouphug:

[SamSam]

Many, many thoughts and prayers for you. We have dealt with this in my family and it's a very trying situation. Stay strong, read all you can on bi-polar and always remember that you are not responsible.

[DWFan4Life]

I'm so sorry to hear that. It's really a tough time for you. You are all in my thoughts and prayers. :)

[aspen37]

As a lot of you remember, my husband, Shannon, was diagnosed with Bipolar disorder last Sept. It's been a struggle since then, but lately we really thought we had a hold of it. Well, unknown to me, he stopped taking his medicine. He felt so good, he thought he didn't need it. Well, yesterday he went manic and spent the day gambling online and lost a lot of money (I was out with my mother and had no clue). Then we got into an argument and he left. I was then called by him at two in the morning and asked to come pick him up at a local bar because he was being kicked out. They bouncers at this bar thought he was drunk (he wasn't) and when confronted, he tried to fight them. He didnt win of course, but it ended with him being dragged through the parking lot and now he has scratches all down his back. When I got there, he told me he hadn't taken his meds in a week, and had a major breakdown. Fortunately the bouncers understood and I was able to take him home and get him to take his medicine and get him to bed.
I've been told that sometimes, bipolars will do this. They will think they are well and stop the medicine. I just had no idea that he would be able to hide it so well until he just completely breaks down. I feel guilty for not seeing it sooner and not doing something about it.
It's strange, it's just so much easier to tell online friends about this, rather than my friends here.

My mother has Paranoid Schizophrenia.
This is very common with mental illness. As soon as they start feeling good they stop taking the meds. The side effects can make you feel crapy. So a lot the the time they stop taking the meds.
I'm very sorry this has happened. It can take a while for the meds to start working again. My mother has to go to the hospital if she gets sick. We just can't give her her meds and hope she gets better. Mental illness is so hard because the person looks so normal and people don't understand why can't you just act normal. Don't blame your self for not knowing what was going on. My mother has done the same thing. We would give her the medication and she would act like she was taking it. Well, she would put it in her mouth swallow and walk away. After she walked away she would put the medication in a drawer in her room. We did nit know she was doing this till she was sick.
I hope he gets better soon. You both are in my thoughts and prayers!:hug:

[UrsulasShadow]

Hang in there, lttlmc!

[miss missy]

:grouphug: :grouphug: I know it is so hard to talk about, but you have to now, this is more common than you think. I have heard of so many with bipolar, and suspect many who do not know they even have it.

try to hang in there. I am sure you will get more familiar with the signs before long. It is a learning curve. Glad he is safe now. :thumbsup2

Please remember to take care of you :) Take time to regroup and keep that balance. :grouphug:

[NC Belle]

:grouphug:

Our thoughts and prayers

[sandyh67]

As a lot of you remember, my husband, Shannon, was diagnosed with Bipolar disorder last Sept. It's been a struggle since then, but lately we really thought we had a hold of it. Well, unknown to me, he stopped taking his medicine. He felt so good, he thought he didn't need it. Well, yesterday he went manic and spent the day gambling online and lost a lot of money (I was out with my mother and had no clue). Then we got into an argument and he left. I was then called by him at two in the morning and asked to come pick him up at a local bar because he was being kicked out. They bouncers at this bar thought he was drunk (he wasn't) and when confronted, he tried to fight them. He didnt win of course, but it ended with him being dragged through the parking lot and now he has scratches all down his back. When I got there, he told me he hadn't taken his meds in a week, and had a major breakdown. Fortunately the bouncers understood and I was able to take him home and get him to take his medicine and get him to bed.
I've been told that sometimes, bipolars will do this. They will think they are well and stop the medicine. I just had no idea that he would be able to hide it so well until he just completely breaks down. I feel guilty for not seeing it sooner and not doing something about it.
It's strange, it's just so much easier to tell online friends about this, rather than my friends here.

We are here for you- yes, this is very common with folks with bipolor disorder. At least he quickly recognized that not taking his meds is a problem and admitted it to you. I have a dear friend whos daughter continues to deny having the disorder, after being diagnosed, she has dropped out of college and is living at home having great difficulty. It is breaking my dfs heart as her daughter has such potention, such a great kid.
Anyway, I digress- we are here for you to lean on whenever you may need it!:hug:

[beachwarmer]

:grouphug: to you and your DH. Hang in there and we will be here when you need an ear.

[TXYankee]

My heart goes out to you.

Know that you are in my thoughts and prayers during this trying time.:hug:

[Yvet]

Just a big :hug:

Whenever you need a friend or a shoulder just come to the boards and we will help you with that....:flower3:

[tickledtink33]

Keeping you in my thoughts. :hug:

[DSNY4ever]

ugh, sending you lots of hugs! This recently happened to a friend of mine whose husband was also recently diagnosed with bipolar disorder, I am sure this is very difficult for you and your family. Hang in there, I hope things get better soon :hug:

[dustyraye]

Sending :grouphug: your way.

[exwdwcm]

sending pixie dust your way. :grouphug:

[dmccarty]

Do not beat your self up for not realizing he had stopped taking the meds. How would you have known? Maybe in the future you will know and can "nip it in the bud." as Barney Fife would say. ;)

Don't feel you are alone dealing with the illness and situation. People get into a situation like this and feel alone. Like they are the only ones dealing with this kind of situation. It might help to find a group of people who are in the same circumstances. That group could be local or on the Internet. Just knowing you are not the only one dealing with this kind of situation can be a help.

Many people you pass by in life are bearing some pretty heavy crosses but its not obvious. Don't feel alone in this. Some days will be good. Some days will be bad. Focus on the good. Learn from the bad and then bury it in the back yard. Easier said than done I know. :lmao:

Good Luck.
Dan

[TinkRocks]

:grouphug: Take care, keeping your family in my thoughts and prayers

[stitchlover]

Thought I would check in with you to see how things are going? Things settling down?

[lttlmc3]

Things are a bit better. He's acting and feeling fine now that he's back on his medicine. Our money situation is kinda hard now because of all the money he lost (thank God the cruise is paid for!) and he is feeling really guilty. I'm having a hard time trying to get over things, you know?

[stitchlover]

Oh I understand that one. Our daughter is real defiant and when she is mad and not getting her way she will just spew the most awful, ugly things at me. Then she will storm off to her room. 15 minutes later she comes down and it's like nothing happened and she's fine.

I know I'm her mother and I love her but I can't just turn it off like that. I sometimes hold a grudge and I know I shouldn't. I sometimes think it's just because I'm in shock over what happened.

Hang in there...you might want to look at getting someone that you can talk to about what you are going through on your side. Being a caregiver for someone with a mental health issue is not easy. Know that you are in our prayers and our thoughts.

[MommaluvsDis]

My mother is bipolar and she took herself off of her meds as well which resulted in a major breakdown.

Drinking while the meds are still in your body is a major health risk.

Let me just say "May God bless you and give you the strength to get through this." I know exactly what you're going through.

The struggle will be remembering that your husband is acutally ill and it may even require you physically giving him his meds and standing there while he takes them.

Mom has been episode free for 5 years!

[scrappinmom]

I'm so sorry. I just now saw this thread. I'm a psychologist and work with many bipolar adults and children. What your dh did is completely normal for the disorder - unfortunately. Like others have said it's like the cruel joke of taking meds that actually work - you forget that you actually NEED them.

There are a couple of things you can do. First - YOU HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH IT! - (yes, I meant to put that in all caps). Seriously, it's his disease, not yours & while you can take the responsibility of how you act/react to him you cannot take responsibility for him. So let yourself off the current hook now, and forever.

Second, once he's restablized, it might be a good time to talk about credit card access. Many bipolar patients have issues with gambling, shopping, and simply going bazerk with money in general. I know that when he's stable he needs access to a credit card - I understand that - look into a low limit - say $500 one.

Finally, make sure he has a followup appointment with his psychiatrist...sooner rather than later.

Take some precautions now to protect yourself and him in the future. So you're not walking around for the next 5,10 or 15 years waiting for the other "shoe" to drop.

Take care of youself:)

[LilGMom]

Big :grouphug: to you and your DH.

[jcb]

You've gotten good advice on all fronts so let me offer one more - please consult with a consumer protection attorney. Tennessee has a statute that makes gambling contracts void under certain circumstances. A consumer protection attorney could advise you whether you could avoid some or all of the losses your DH incurred.

I must say this isn't my field and I am reluctant to say anything that might give false hope. I still think it worth you trying to find out.

I suggest you call your personal attorney if you have one. If not, pm me and I'll ask around for some names.

[Disneydonnam]

I am so sorry to hear you are going through this. My brothers girlfriend is bipolar and its very difficult. We can tell when she stops taking her meds. She can love us one min and the next hate us. You are in my prayers.

[Whipperwhirl]

As a family with a long history of battles with BP (some won, some lost) Im wishing you nothing but the best. I give you a tremendous amount of credit for hanging in there - your husband is a lucky man. Whip

[jewjubean]

I know what your going through, my mother is diagnosed with bipolar and I didnt find out until I was almost a Junior in HS. She stopped taking her med's for almost a year, and that was one of the worst in my life. She moved me half way across the country I went to 3 different HS's my freshman year.If you need someone to talk just PM me!! I'm here for you even though I dont know you!!!

[mrzrich]

No wisdom. Just :grouphug: