Are you 100% out

[vaDisneyGuy]

So my friends know and most of my co-workers know I am gay. I feel a lot of guilt over not being 100% out and not being out to my family. So I just wanted to know if anyone else feels the same. Is this normal?

[Tony-NJ]

I'm sure each situation is different. I never actually "came out" to my Family - but everyone knows - and they all know Chris. I've been working at the same company for 14 years and everyone knows - and I think all of them have met Chris - we also are friends with some of the folks at work too. Even at our shore house - everyone knows us on our block's beach - so I guess we are 100% out.

[PeterPan09]

I never officially came out to most people either. I would imagine that the most likely response if I did would be "well, DUH, that's not news".

[bubie2.5]

Everyone in my family knows. Cousins, aunts and uncles... EVERYONE.
I've never actually "told" any of my friends, but they know. I live with my partner and even we don't do any kind of PDA, every time we talk about life, family and future, it's always me and my partner.

[OrlandoMike]

100% at work and home....

[rpmdfw]

Well, considering that all of the family, and most of the co-workers got invited to our "Big Fat Gay Disney Wedding", I'm going to say that they all know.

Funny story. We were at the supermarket on Friday and forgot to get an item, so I ran to get it while Scott waited with our shopping cart at the front of the store. Since it was just one item, the bagger asked if I needed a bag. I said "no, just go ahead and put it in one of the bags over there in our cart". She asked "is he your roommate?" :rotfl:

I replied "No, he's my partner."

"Oh, what business are you in?" :eek:

At which point I said. "No, I mean he's my BOYFRIEND" while the checker laughed and handed my my change.

So, yeah. I'm 100% out. Even to our grocery store.:rotfl2:

[OrlandoMike]

Phone rings...

"Is Shrek there?"

"No sorry."

"How about Mrs. Shrek?"

"Speaking"


Long pause.....................:rotfl2:

[rpmdfw]

Phone rings...

"Is Shrek there?"

"No sorry."

"How about Mrs. Shrek?"

"Speaking"


Long pause.....................:rotfl2:

:lmao:

[hematite153]

Yes...and no.

I'm married and I tell everyone about that. So, everybody knows that I'm not straight. But, everyone assumes that I must therefore be a lesbian and it's often not worth explaining that I'm actually bi. I certainly don't hide it, but, I also don't disrupt conversation to correct people.

We also have this weird experience in the US (mostly at wdw, but, I think it's just a US thing and we spend most of our time in the US at wdw) of people calling my DW my mother. Although it has now come up a bunch of times, we still get shocked by it every time it happens and our reactions tend to be too slow to "come out."

[hematite153]

Phone rings...

"Is Shrek there?"

"No sorry."

"How about Mrs. Shrek?"

"Speaking"


Long pause.....................:rotfl2:

Yeah, I like doing that one too. Except in my case, it's more of a:

"There is no Mr XXX, but, you can speak with me if you want."

"Well, is Mrs XXX there?"

"No, but, you can speak with me if you want."

"Who are you?"

"Mrs XXX is my wife."

...

[Uncle Remus]

OUT for a reeeeeal loooooong time. :lmao:

[rosiep]

Ok..I'll weigh in:

Most everyone who knows me knows I am Bi. Even my kids and my husband. Since I'm monogamous it's sort of a non issue...but I never hide my attraction to women.

[Timrobb]

15 years "out" and "about"

:)

[Jeff90]

Oh yes, 100% percent here. Jon is also......:banana:

[Timon-n-Pumbaa Fan]

With the exception of the people that my job serves, I am 100% out. I would love to be 100% out, but that is just one workplace that doesn't really give me that flexibility. I have been 100% out in previous jobs, but not this one. Not that many people would look at me and think that I was straight.

I work with kids in a fairly conservative area, so it's just easier not to make any statements that have to be explained. In the event where something comes up that has to be explained, depending on who it is that is standing in front of me, I never lie, but I may not be brutally honest either. Corey is my best friend, so saying that is who I live with is not a lie and it's not something that makes a parent cringe either. It's a balancing act of honesty, tact, and self preservation.

[Goofyluver]

To those that know me. :)

[Tony-NJ]

100% at work and home....

What about Max?? Give Max my love will ya? ;)

[jenn&nelsonrego]

Ok..I'll weigh in:

Most everyone who knows me knows I am Bi. Even my kids and my husband. Since I'm monogamous it's sort of a non issue...but I never hide my attraction to women.

Only my husband knows that about me.... But since I have never explored my attraction, I don't think I can be called Bi... it doesn't matter to me anyway...

It is just something that keeps things juicy between the DH and me...

[DVC~OKW~96]

No, I don't think so.

One sister makes sure everyone "knows." The brother ignores it. The other sister too... :shrug:

Parents? Mine: Mother completely ignores it, but makes sure my wife knows that she considers her a daughter and loves her. Father? Ignores it because if he didn't he'd never speak to me/us again. :shrug: Not so sure he loves ME, let alone my wife. :teeth: But if he were pressed he'd probably say he loves HER. :teeth:

Her Parents: Both completely accepting, but never speak of it. Siblings on her side, same. Acceptance, but no conversation. :shrug:

Work? If the coworkers are alert and astute, yep they know. Otherwise, nope. A few in my former place of business knew because of conversations they had with me...otherwise ... who knows? I have a rainbow Mickey on my briefcase now. ::yes::

Neighbors? Most of them think we are sisters. Not sure how that came to be, but it's the general consensus. :shrug:

Huh. Until I put it down here, didn't fully realize how complicated this issue is in our lives.

[zeitzeuge]

I'm pretty much out to everyone. Haven't hidden it for years now. My family all know, but I never officially came out to them. One by one I told some here and there and the others figured it out or heard it through family gossip. I did have guilt for a number of years, but as far as I'm concerned every person is different and you come out if or when you want. No one should tell you otherwise. Do it on your own timeline.

[fey_spirit]

You too? Does your wife hate it as much as mine does?
She's only 8 years older then me... and I'm the more mature of the two of us, so I don't know where it comes from.

Yes...and no.

I'm married and I tell everyone about that. So, everybody knows that I'm not straight. But, everyone assumes that I must therefore be a lesbian and it's often not worth explaining that I'm actually bi. I certainly don't hide it, but, I also don't disrupt conversation to correct people.

We also have this weird experience in the US (mostly at wdw, but, I think it's just a US thing and we spend most of our time in the US at wdw) of people calling my DW my mother. Although it has now come up a bunch of times, we still get shocked by it every time it happens and our reactions tend to be too slow to "come out."

[NikkiPants]

A ditto for me on not officially saying "Guys, I'm gay." Haha! But I'm 100% honest and everyone who knows me knows that I am.

[MonorailMan]

Phone rings...

"Is Shrek there?"

"No sorry."

"How about Mrs. Shrek?"

"Speaking"


Long pause.....................:rotfl2:

:lmao: :rotfl2: :lmao:

[MonorailMan]

I don't get out too much, and don't really have much of a social life.....but with the exception of my parents, pretty much everyone I know and converse with is gay.

In the last job I had, which was only a year-long temporary position, about 75-90% of the people I worked with/taught were gay-hating "Christians". (It was at a remote, third party location.) I pretty much had to stay in the closet for that one year or else I would've jeopardized the integrity of the company which I worked for........which would've been bad considering I helped build the company from the ground-up. Ironically, the owner of the company was also a gay man, who happened to be my ex. :rolleyes1 I did make one friend while working at the remote location who happened to be a single father who was kind of a hottie. :rolleyes: I think he knew I was gay, but it didn't seem to bother him.

[padalyn]

Out - very out....the funny story is when I told my mother. She is a couch potato, and I had just re-discovered the gay side of me (for years tried the bi thing, relationships just didn't work - finally realized it was ME not the guys - go figure!)

well, back to the story - I went up to her house, she was doing the pototo thing in bed. I got her attention enough to grab the remote. Told her that the girl was was rooming with - well not a roomie, but a lover. She looked me in the eye and said......












wait for it.............

















"that's nice dear - I wouldn't tell your father just yet" click, the TV went back on - end of discussion.





I am so out that the guys I work with point out the hotties for me! Tell ya, girl watching with the guys is a pip - they don't know the HM factor at all!!!!


On the serious side - I never told my grandmother (she died last Nov at 102), but she figured it out - told my mother about 12 years ago "Cayla isn't getting married anytime soon, is she" mom didn't know how to reply to that, so she told her she didn't think so. Gram said "she doesn't much like men either, hmm?" mom was floored. Again - end of discussion. We never told, she never asked. Being from a different world I just never thought it worth the angst to tell her flat out. But she knew. When Tiggr33 got the chance to meet her (2 years ago) - she knew that we were closer than friends. Again, no ask, no tell. I was comfortable with that, as was Tiggr33.

[DVC~OKW~96]

Yes, rather the same here. I don't feel I'm explaining myself too well.

We don't hide anything, nor do we announce anything. I have made it clear to some folks through the course of my life, but I don't allow it to precede me...if that makes any sense.

We just are, ya' know. That's why when I am faced with policies like DADT it really sets off my aggravation radar. :( We DON'T tell for crissake...you don't HAVE TO. People that don't get that, are simply blind as far as I'm concerned.

Need to clarify that the one sister I have that "ignores it" also ignores us. We are not a factor in her life and we live less than five miles from her and her family. Nice, huh? :confused3 No matter. We don't force ourselves on anyone for any reason.

I will say I did start referring to my wife by her first and middle names because her first name is unisex and I got tired of people assuming she was a man. :teeth:

[wallyb]

Everyone thinks
I'm straight.

http://i48.photobucket.com/albums/f241/wallyb3/chesire.jpg]

http://i266.photobucket.com/albums/ii277/shellyzab/wink.gif

[DVC~OKW~96]

Ah, do they now? Yes, yes... I can imagine that. :teeth:

Imagine being the operative word there. :teeth:

[jenn&nelsonrego]

[CENTER]Everyone thinks
I'm straight.



Yes, Wally... You are absolutely right... We all think you are straight (about as straight as a paper clip)...

[wallyb]

Yes, Wally... You are absolutely right... We all think you are straight (about as straight as a paper clip)...



I am too straight! :mad:

It's just ... I can be bent easly. :rolleyes1

[rpmdfw]

I am too straight! :mad:

It's just ... I can be bent easly. :rolleyes1

And frequently . . . .:rolleyes:

[jenn&nelsonrego]

I am too straight! :mad:

It's just ... I can be bent easly. :rolleyes1

as I said: like a paper clip...

http://i445.photobucket.com/albums/qq180/jennrego1929/Random%20DIS%20stuff/pinkpc.jpg

silly, silly, boy.... :lmao:

[Tony-NJ]

And frequently . . . .:rolleyes:

:rotfl2:

[soulmates]

99.9% out!! EVERYONE, at work, our neighbores, my children, parents, siblings....all except the ex! I know I know...but he's VERY religious and right now, we all agreed, no need to tell him. My DP and I have been together 3 years this June, and in our home living together 1 year this past Dec. Somehow, my ex just "Assumes" my "Roomate" looks like all my other friends; femme!! We've kept the two from meeting, and on the few times he's been to the house, we take down pics of us. Note, I do this for my daughter, and ONLY her. If she wasn't in the picture, he'd know. She's just 13 and at an age where she wants to please BOTH parents. She doesn't want any conflict. We've agreed, until she's older and or, he figures it out, we'll just continue along as we do. It's working so far, we'll see what happends! :confused3

[DVC~OKW~96]

Wally? Honey?? WHY would you WANT to be straight? :scared1:

[Hathaway Browne]

Just to add my two cents worth in this thread....

I'm so far "in" I'm in Narnia. Mr. Tumnus says "hi".

[rpmdfw]

Just to add my two cents worth in this thread....

I'm so far "in" I'm in Narnia. Mr. Tumnus says "hi".

:rotfl2:

Very clever.

[Hathaway Browne]

I thank you! :)

Glad I could at least make someone laugh!

FTR it is true, well all but the Tumnus bit of course!

[wallyb]

Just to add my two cents worth in this thread....

I'm so far "in" I'm in Narnia. Mr. Tumnus says "hi".

How far in are you?
More importantly - How far in could you be? :)

[Hathaway Browne]

How far in are you?


Umm.. I can see snow and pine trees but still smell the mothballs from the fur coats. :p


More importantly - How far in could you be? :)
Not sure how to field that one...:rolleyes:

[wallyb]

Not sure how to field that one...:rolleyes:

Scaredy-cat! :cat:

[Hathaway Browne]

And proud of it!;)

[glenpreece]

Yup I am 100% out. I try to get it over and done with when I meet new people.

[MonorailMan]

I'm actually applying for a position tomorrow where they actually prefer to hire gay men since they have to photograph scantily clad women. Having said that.....I'm going to sizzle my "S's" like crazy......gurrrrrrrrl! :woohoo:

[vaDisneyGuy]

I'm actually applying for a position tomorrow where they actually prefer to hire gay men since they have to photograph scantily clad women. Having said that.....I'm going to sizzle my "S's" like crazy......gurrrrrrrrl! :woohoo:

Good Luck!!!!

:cheer2: :cheer2: :cheer2:

[padalyn]

I'm actually applying for a position tomorrow where they actually prefer to hire gay men since they have to photograph scantily clad women. Having said that.....I'm going to sizzle my "S's" like crazy......gurrrrrrrrl! :woohoo:

Good luck! or should I say break a leg? does that apply in photography?

[soulmates]

I'm actually applying for a position tomorrow where they actually prefer to hire gay men since they have to photograph scantily clad women. Having said that.....I'm going to sizzle my "S's" like crazy......gurrrrrrrrl! :woohoo:

Work it!!! :woohoo:

[vaDisneyGuy]

I'm actually applying for a position tomorrow where they actually prefer to hire gay men since they have to photograph scantily clad women. Having said that.....I'm going to sizzle my "S's" like crazy......gurrrrrrrrl! :woohoo:

Speaking of your photography I would love to see more of Cowboy Monorail man. Is there a Leather Wearing MonorailMan ???(just wondering) :goodvibes

[hematite153]

We also have this weird experience in the US of people calling my DW my mother.

You too? Does your wife hate it as much as mine does?
She's only 8 years older than me... and I'm the more mature of the two of us, so I don't know where it comes from.

She says she hates it even more because on top of it being a refusal to see same-sex relationships it's also discriminatory because it's influenced by the fact that she uses a wheelchair at times and the assumption that people in wheelchairs are old.

(She's only 6 years older than me, still in her 30s, hasn't gone grey, etc.)

Realistically, I hate it too.

[Timon-n-Pumbaa Fan]

OMG, there are people that think that Corey is my teenaged son!

The first time it happened was one of the people that I knew through work. She came up to us in a salad buffet restaurant and ask if Corey was my son. I said "No", and before I could tell her more she said, "Your husband (then Corey said something and she realized that she was a woman) Your friend?" :eek: You could see this ultra conservative woman go into major pucker mode as it sunk in that I was a lesbian and she had exposed her children to me. :scared1: I explained that Corey was my best friend and then she hurried off. She still comes to our office, but it's not without some degree of discomfort even 6 years or so after her realization. :sad2:

I am 6 years older than Corey. She has a baby face and looks like a cute little butchy chic. So, me and my grey hair and her with the baby face, it does look like she could be my son, if you just don't want to see the truth of the matter, that we are just a lesbian couple. At this point, I don't care. We laugh it off and just keep going.

[hematite153]

OMG, there are people that think that Corey is my teenaged son!


Yikes...that might be worse.

The thing that really gets me is that we only experience this in the US. It has happened once in Canada, a couple of times elsewhere in the US and constantly at wdw. (I generally just assume that it's about the US being more conservative so that the spectrum of relationships people consider is more limited.)

[Winue]

we are out at work, with friends, and with family.

the only thing that we aren't "out" is in public in our community. This is only because we both work with a social service agency, and our clients are all around us, so its not too safe... more so for our kids though.

When you ask our 3.5 year old where his daddy is, he says "there's no daddy here, I'm lucky, I have two mummies!"

[MickeyDee]

I doubt I'll ever be 100% out. I'm out to my immediate family and my friends...and a handful of co-workers. I teach 3rd grade..in TEXAS, no less, so I'm not at all comfortable with the idea of being out to the vast majority of the people I work with. People always assume I'm straight, so that makes it even harder...but it can be fun sometimes when I tell someone "I don't date men..." to see the expression on their face of utter shock...hehe

[Timon-n-Pumbaa Fan]

MickeyDee, being that my job is one where I work with kids too, I completely understand where you are coming from. :goodvibes

[Jeff90]

I doubt I'll ever be 100% out. I'm out to my immediate family and my friends...and a handful of co-workers. I teach 3rd grade..in TEXAS, no less, so I'm not at all comfortable with the idea of being out to the vast majority of the people I work with. People always assume I'm straight, so that makes it even harder...but it can be fun sometimes when I tell someone "I don't date men..." to see the expression on their face of utter shock...hehe

MickeyDee, being that my job is one where I work with kids too, I completely understand where you are coming from. :goodvibes

12 years ago, I'd be there with you both.....teaching in NC is scary. Not teaching any more. I taught 4th grade for 2 years and loved it but I couldn't be 100% me. Being a elementary school teacher, gay and living in NC.....not really a good mix. But I love what I do now.....

[Jeff90]

Speaking of your photography I would love to see more of Cowboy Monorail man. Is there a Leather Wearing MonorailMan ???(just wondering) :goodvibes

Ditto!

[MickeyDee]

12 years ago, I'd be there with you both.....teaching in NC is scary. Not teaching any more. I taught 4th grade for 2 years and loved it but I couldn't be 100% me. Being a elementary school teacher, gay and living in NC.....not really a good mix. But I love what I do now.....

It took me over a year to come out to the first person that I did at work...I'm definitely more out now and more comfortable being out to my co-workers than I was before, but it's still not something I put out there with any amount of ease! Eeeek....

[Alan-1]

For the most part I'm out to all of my friends. If a friend doesn't know and asks I'll tell them the truth. As for work I really don't know. I work at a Disney Store so I think it's not going to be a big deal. I just try to be as honest as I can when people ask me. I don't really think they need to know unless they ask.

Family: umm...Not yet. I really want to so I can get it off my chest but when your mom tell tells you "I hope you like girls" it really doesn't give me the A'Ok to spill the beans anytime soon.

[Hathaway Browne]

I know that latter situation very well. Sometimes I feel like I should just say it (like ripping of a band-aid) but then I reason that its not going to alter anything (ie Mr Right appearing out of thin air).

[DOPEYLUVER]

Family: umm...Not yet. I really want to so I can get it off my chest but when your mom tell tells you "I hope you like girls" it really doesn't give me the A'Ok to spill the beans anytime soon.

I am a 48 year old straight female and I am not even pretending to have ever walked in your shoes.

With that disclaimer, do you think it's possible that your mother knows the truth but could be a little clumsy at bringing it up?

[Kennywife]

I'm out to my friends and hubby. (bi-sexual). My cousin and her girlfriend know and are totally supportive. I haven't told anyone else. I think my dad would be okay about it, but my mom....that's another story. :sad2:

[Alan-1]

With that disclaimer, do you think it's possible that your mother knows the truth but could be a little clumsy at bringing it up?

That does come to mind at times, but when someone says that it doesn't make it a safe environment for me to tell her.

[dmcuk]

Have been out to friends for ages, since i was at Uni ( 10 years ago *sob*)

Came, out to my bro first, that was easy. Mum and dad was more difficult, but they are pretty cool about it now and get along really well with my BF.

The rest of the fam found out last year when we went to a wedding, was mega strange, but cool at the same time, as i used to worry about it a bit.

Its not an issue at work, i work in the media, so there are gays everywhere. But in general i never really have to say anything, as i don't need to...

[jewelsangel]

I'm only out to a few people at work and some of my family including a cousin and my siblings, but not my parents. ....and now to DISers I guess.

[SingingMUA]

I'm only out to a few people at work and some of my family including a cousin and my siblings, but not my parents. ....and now to DISers I guess.


Hi there and :welcome: to DIS...

Would you like to go out with me sometime??? :lovestruc



P.S. - jewelsangel is my DP :love: :love: :love: who finally took the plunge and joined DIS :)

[jewelsangel]

Sure. You look normal enough! :rotfl:

[SingingMUA]

I just realized I didn't answer the question....

I'm out to some friends and some of my coworkers. And I'm generally out to new people that I meet. I think my mom knows, but I haven't told her. I think she just figured it out. I'm not out to the rest of my family. But I also don't see them much, either.

[SingingMUA]

Sure. You look normal enough! :rotfl:

Ha!! Of course I'm normal... it's everyone else who has "issues"... :rotfl:

[TimmyTimmyTimmy]

I am out and everbody at work knows all about it now...
It´s not a big deal to be gay in Sweden anymore. I never knew anybody who had problems with it here. But then again people know not to mess with a guy like me:)

[m-and-m]

i'm 15, i just recently told my mother and 2 of my best friends i am bi, they're the only ones that know. they've been really supportive.

[OrlandoMike]

This is a great thread!

For you who are in the process of comming out, or are just lurknig here and haven't come out yet, hugs! It can be a difficult process. Can I share a song that helped me? I must have listened to this song 500 times before I made up my mind that it is "My life and I gotta live it"! Just listen to the lyrics, and know it will be OK!

Trust me .....from a guy who "came out" when it wasn't "cool" to be gay! :thumbsup2


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T4VMudwlVEU&feature=related

[starann]

Trust me .....from a guy who "came out" when it wasn't "cool" to be gay! :thumbsup2



Mike, you paved the way for 'cool'!!!!!

[starann]

I'm not gay or bi, but I do have a little funny

I am a visiting nurse and had a 103yo patient who had recently started dialysis. Her body was failing, but her mind was pretty good. She lived with her 60-some year old son who always had a 'friend' over. In fact he was introduced to me as David, a friend of the family (who was considerably younger than the patients son). I knew they were partners, but never said anything out loud (not very professional).

Anyway, I needed to check the patient's bottom to look for bedsores, so her son helped pull down her pants (she was in bed) and then helped pull them up when I was done checking her bum. The patient started yelling at him "Tom, you are being too rough. Stop being so impatient. That is the reason you never found a woman, you are too impatient!" To which Tom answer, "Yeah, mom, THAT is why I never found a woman" Tom, David and I were hysterical laughing.

His mom died a few months later, I'm sure never knowing her son was gay, which was his decision, and that is fine. I ran into them about a year ago and they were grocery shopping, now living together. So sad that it took all these years for them to be 100% out.

[wallyb]

This is a great thread!

For you who are in the process of comming out, or are just lurknig here and haven't come out yet, hugs! It can be a difficult process. Can I share a song that helped me? I must have listened to this song 500 times before I made up my mind that it is "My life and I gotta live it"! Just listen to the lyrics, and know it will be OK!

Trust me .....from a guy who "came out" when it wasn't "cool" to be gay! :thumbsup2


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T4VMudwlVEU&feature=related

Yeah- what did Ben Franklin, James Madison and Thomas Jefferson think about it when you told them you were gay?:rolleyes:

[OrlandoMike]

Yeah- what did Ben Franklin, James Madison and Thomas Jefferson think about it when you told them you were gay?:rolleyes:

They said "Dont worry Mike, your not the only one, Betsy Ross has a friend named Wally helping her get things all sewn up!" :thumbsup2

[wallyb]

They said "Dont worry Mike, your not the only one, Betsy Ross has a friend named Wally helping her get things all sewn up!" :thumbsup2

Betsy was a slut.

[rpmdfw]

Betsy was a slut.

No wonder you were friends with her!

"Birds of a feather" and all that.

:rotfl2:

[wallyb]

No wonder you were friends with her!

"Birds of a feather" and all that.

:rotfl2:

I can't tell you how many times I had to tell her...
"Betsy - Make it work!"

[rpmdfw]

I can't tell you how many times I had to tell her...
"Betsy - Make it work!"

:lmao: