View Full Version : I hate to bring the mood down but this is killing me
02-18-2009, 07:56 AM
I hate to kill the mood at such a wonderful board but I have always found comfort here. Tomorrow is the 1st anniversary of the death of my father. He was a great man and my best friend. I am trying to hold it together and keep my mind off of it but I know I will be a complete wreck. I am normally level headed and rational, but this is the kind of thing that can drive you crazy. I work at a childrens hospital here in delaware and I see sickness and death everyday and you have to stay even keeled for the patients sake. My biggest fear is that I will be doing a transport with a sick child and loose it tomorrow.
I really miss him and I want him back. But I know it is what it is, but it doesn't make it any easier.
02-18-2009, 07:57 AM
I hate to kill the mood at such a wonderful board but I have always found comfort here. Tomorrow is the 1st anniversary of the death of my father. He was a great man and my best friend. I am trying to hold it together and keep my mind off of it but I know I will be a complete wreck. I am normally level headed and rational, but this is the kind of thing that can drive you crazy. I work at a childrens hospital here in delaware and i see sickness and death everyday and you have to stay even keeled for the patients sak3. My biggest fear is that I will be doing a transport with a sick child and loose it tomorrow.
I really miss him and I want him back. But I know it is what it is, but it doesn't make it any easier. :hug:
02-18-2009, 08:12 AM
:grouphug: I will be thinking of you and your Dad today.
Yesterday, it was four years since my Dad passed away. I can honestly tell you that as time goes on you learn to live with the pain and the pain isn't any worse on any particular day than another. You will always miss and love your Dad.
I am sure that you will be able to keep it together when you need to today and know that you can let your feelings out with your friends here on the Disboards.
02-18-2009, 08:16 AM
I know exactly how you feel. I've lost both of my parents and when the "annivesaries" come it is so much harder. It's almost like you re-live that day in your memories and focus on the time and what was happening back then.
It's okay to be sad, parents can be so special and even when we are adults they are the ones who comfort and when they (or one of them) isn't around, life doesn't feel "right".
Just know it's okay to cry and be sad. If you need to take a moment, your co-workers will understand. Deep breaths, pray, talk to you Dad and tell him how much you miss him and wish he was here. Try to remember a funny time or something special you did together. Think of what it felt like to give him a huge hug :hug: and just remember even though this is the anniversary day, it really isn't any different than yesterday or tomorrow.
Good luck, I'll say a prayer for you. :flower3:
02-18-2009, 08:23 AM
I'm so sorry! I also lost my mom 4 years ago and it does get better. On the first anniversary of her death I sent out an e-mail to many people who knew her asking them to share memories of her. All throughout the day loved ones shared wonderful memories. I learned things about my mom that I had never known. I was brought to tears several times, but in a good way. I printed thr e-mails an look at them at the times that I really missd Mom.
I hope you can find something to help you throught the day. The firsts are the hardest.
02-18-2009, 08:29 AM
As others have already said, don't be afraid to come here and share with friends. It's a Disney board, yes, but I like to think we are also here for one another in times of need.
02-18-2009, 08:34 AM
Thank you all so much for such loving words. I'm going to try and get some sleep. I have to work the 7p-7a tonight and I drew the critical care transport so I want to be on my game the best I can. I will check in a bit later.
Thanks sooo much.
I love you all.
02-18-2009, 08:48 AM
:hug: to, i know how you are feeling, just try to have good thoughts !!!!
02-18-2009, 08:51 AM
:hug: Take care of yourself.
The 12th was the 10th anniversary of my dad's passing and the 14th was the 7th for my mom. Each year has gotten a little easier but I still have moments that it hits me.
02-18-2009, 09:27 AM
I'm very sorry for your loss. I know its really tough and you are hurting. I was in your shoes just a few years ago. It's okay to miss him, and cry, and even break down if you need to. Emotions are good. Bottling up inside is bad. So cry if you feel like it. But don't forget to talk about it and live through this hanging on to the memories. It was a couple years before I could think about my father without tearing up. Now, I just smile when I think about it him. Whether other people believe it or not, I know he is still with me everyday ... in my heart, in my dreams, and in my memories. Find whatever it is that brings you comfort and hold on to that.
02-18-2009, 04:30 PM
I am so sorry. Hugs to you.
As someone who has spent a whole lot of time in a children's hospital with my daughter, we see "cool, calm, collected" professionals all the time. Do not be afraid of losing control. If you do, and break down ... it's okay. Sometimes the best gift you can give to someone is the opportunity to comfort YOU ... even a child. Saying, "my father died a year ago and I'm feeling sad" -- that's something most people will have sympathy with, no matter their age.
02-19-2009, 07:44 PM
I'm sorry to hear, hope your doing fine now. We can't avoid it, that's the reality. Just take care of yourself.
Have a nice day. :)
02-19-2009, 08:01 PM
:hug: I hope you were able to find times to smile today and remember the good times with your dad! I am thinking good thoughts for you and sending them to Delaware!
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