I don't understand, Please enlighten me

[JenK]

I want to start by saying I hope I don't offend anyone by my post.

Here is what I don't understand.....

I've read a lot of posts about people (straight and gay) that are in committed relationships or married where one partner goes to Disney for a solo trip and the other stays home to watch the kids or work.

My partner of 11 years and I have gone to Disney many times together. We have so much fun. I can't imagine enjoying myself alone at Disney. Without her by my side enjoying all the magic of Disney I think I would be a little sad and just wish she was there with me.

I think the magic of Disney is meant to be shared with family and friends. Don't get me wrong, I'm a very independent woman and can do things on my own. I just don't think Disney is one of the things I would do all by myself.

Thanks is advance for the responses!! Jen

[Mackey Mouse]

I am answering as a straight woman, married to the same man for 39 years, I could never go by myself. I love being in Disney with my husband, he loves it too.. For now, we go as a couple....while we are both together.. he is not well, I am not sure how I will feel about Disney without him..

[Sheribo]

I agree. I don't get it either but there must be something there. I can just see me enjoying a quiet drink on a patio or watching the fireworks and feeling so lonely. I'm going to check out the trip reports for a single traveler. Curious now.

[ConcKahuna]

Well, if your DP wasn't the type who liked Disney, would you rather not go at all, go with someone who is miserable, or go alone?

It's a tough choice sometimes, but there are many who would rather go alone than miss Disney or not have as good of a time :goodvibes

[jlewisinsyr]

This past year my partner and I went on vacation in Disney from September 6th through September 13. Then on September 27th he flew back down to Disney for a week and took his sister and brother and I stayed home.

I don't need to be around my partner 24/7, I trust him and although I love to experience things with him, sometimes life takes higher priority.

[jackskellingtonsgirl]

Some of my friends did a "girls" weekend where they all went to WDW and left the kids back at home with their husbands. I tried to figure out a way to go, but between the expenses and the schedules it was impossible. I think I would have had a good time.

I have talked about taking DS and doing a trip for just the 2 of us. I do think we would miss DH, but I think it would be a fun trip.

Would I book a trip by myself and go off to WDW when nobody else I knew was going to be there? No.

[kenaiwitch]

My brother and sister-in-law go on different vacations all the time. It just wouldn't feel right being on vacation without my DH he is my best friend and soul mate.

[JenK]

I get what all of you are saying. I went on a trip last summer with my Mom, Sister and other family members without my partner.

What I am asking about is a "solo" trip, which to my understanding is alone, all by yourself.

I just don't get it, I don't think I would enjoy myself.

Jen

[DVC~OKW~96]

I travel quite a bit for work, so am gone from home more than I like. I wouldn't want to take a holiday/vacation without my wife, but that's just me. If we don't want to go where the other wishes to, we simply keep picking places until we hit on one that we both want to visit!

Those that we don't agree on? Meh. Maybe one year we will. Too many places to do things together and being together is more of what it is for us.

I do know a woman who is in a conventional marriage who suddenly started traveling to WDW alone. Only she wasn't alone. Seems she was now spending her holiday time with her lover instead of her husband and children. Again, to each her/his own, but that was pretty tacky to me.

And NOT the point of this thread! :guilty:

[OrlandoMike]

We travel together mostly. But on occasion I will travel alone. A year and a half ago I had a trip that took me to Pasadena. Do you think I'm gonna go all the way to California without going to Disneyland? NO! :lmao: So I went one day by myself, had a blast! I did what I wanted to do, when I wanted to do it, and it was very nice.

I also go to a large amusement park in Ohio every year with a friend, not my partner. Why? My partner does not like coasters.:confused3

[MemoToMe]

Before I met Rob (rpmdfw), I lived in California and would make yearly trips out to WDW by myself with no qualms whatsoever. I've always been very comfortable doing things by myself, I think largely because I grew up an only child in a single-parent household for most of my childhood, that I learned to be able to entertain myself.

Now that we both live in the Orlando area, there have been times where I have had to go back to California for various reasons, and because of scheduling, Rob has not been able to join me. On those trips I've made the occasional day trip to Disneyland. Sure, I would love to have him there, but we realize that sometimes opportunities come up where one can have fun without the other, and we never hold it against each other. Now, of course we've done more things with each other, than without.

But, then, that's how we are, and other couples are different. I think each couple has to learn about what works best for them.

[rpmdfw]

Before I met Rob (rpmdfw), I lived in California and would make yearly trips out to WDW by myself with no qualms whatsoever. I've always been very comfortable doing things by myself, I think largely because I grew up an only child in a single-parent household for most of my childhood, that I learned to be able to entertain myself.

Now that we both live in the Orlando area, there have been times where I have had to go back to California for various reasons, and because of scheduling, Rob has not been able to join me. On those trips I've made the occasional day trip to Disneyland. Sure, I would love to have him there, but we realize that sometimes opportunities come up where one can have fun without the other, and we never hold it against each other. Now, of course we've done more things with each other, than without.

But, then, that's how we are, and other couples are different. I think each couple has to learn about what works best for them.

And I'll add on to this. At first, Scott would ask me, "Is it okay . . ." I told him that I would never begrudge him the chance to have fun because I wasn't able to be there. If the shoe is on the other foot, I know that I'm going to want to go and have fun while I've got the chance, so by no means do I have any right (or inclination) to be jealous if Scott has a chance for fun and takes it.

In the case of a couple where one partner doesn't like Disney and the other one does, it's very possible that the non-Disney partner understands how much their loved one loves it, and encourages them to go and have fun. Sort of saying "I give you permission to go and have fun without me. Go and do what you love so much, I won't make you give that up". To me that's a very healthy way to handle it, and no one ends up resenting the other for either forcing them to go, or forcing them not to go.

[Timon-n-Pumbaa Fan]

Corey and I have been together almost 10 years now. There is no doubt in my mind that we were meant to be together, even though we are very different creatures. She travels a lot for work and I stay here at home. We have 4 dogs and 3 cats, so someone has to be here or else we are spending $125 a day to board the dogs. I was an only child and my Dad and former step-mother were only children. I never was around my mother's side of the family & my cousins for more than a few weekends out of my life, so I learned to keep myself entertained.

This past year, Corey and I decided to make some changes to how we did vacations. I took a solo trip to WDW in April, she took a "girls weekend trip" to the mountains with her best buds from high school, and then we took a joint vacation to WDW together in December with my MIL. It was great!

Corey is the sleep in and do whatever the day dictates kind of traveler and when it comes to WDW, I am go go go! Corey hates crowds and I am fine, it just gives me more cute kids to watch and more people to chat with. :thumbsup2 Corey isn't much for chatting with strangers, but I love chatting with CM's and other guests. Corey is a picky eater, and I am more adventurous. Disney without Corey was still very magical and in some ways more so. There was a wonderful sense of freedom that I don't get much in my everyday life. In everyday life, there are lots of responsibilities and "have to's", but being at WDW solo, I didn't have to do anything. I didn't have to worry about what someone else wanted to do, needed to do, or should do in order to have a good time. I just did as I pleased. I ate when I was hungry. I called it a day when I was tired. I chatted with CM's and other guests as long as I wanted without having to worry about how uncomfortable my dear shy Corey was.

Basically, I had a blast, even when the crowds were :crowded: I had so much fun that I am going back again in April. We are working on plans to go back together in October too. Oh, and she and her buds have a trip to Key West planned for late September. Solo vacations work for us. ::yes::

[rosiep]

I get what all of you are saying. I went on a trip last summer with my Mom, Sister and other family members without my partner.

What I am asking about is a "solo" trip, which to my understanding is alone, all by yourself.

I just don't get it, I don't think I would enjoy myself.

Jen
I usually go to Disney with my adult daughter, last year I took my Mom and this year I had to cancel a trip planned for my husband and myself. When Mom and I went I arrived a day earlier than she did and I was thrilled to be at the park alone.
Someday I would like to go and have three days all to myself and then have someone join me. I'd love to being able to look in the shop windows, stop for a performance, or stake a place to watch a parade -all things I usually don't do when I go with someone...however, I think it would wear thin after three days and then I'd want someone to share the Magic with.

[wallyb]

I hate going anywhere alone.
:guilty:
I can't imagine dining alone. :faint:
It be a great diet plan for me.

[MonorailMan]

There were several instances where I spent time alone in October at WDW, and I've gotta say from my experience that people who are alone tend to get "special treatment", so you don't really feel like you're alone. Some big pluses are:

-The cast members tend to talk with you more
-You tend to get on rides with long waits a lot faster
(Tower of Terror had a 20-minute wait: I got on in 7. Rock 'N Roller Coaster had a 50 minute wait: I got on in 20.)

I'd say if you ever do have to go alone to go during an off season so that the CMs have more time to talk to you, if that happens to be your thing.

[rosiep]

I hate going anywhere alone.
:guilty:
I can't imagine dining alone. :faint:
It be a great diet plan for me.

You can bring me along in a suitcase anytime! Just please remember to feed me more often.

[RAPstar]

I almost always do everything alone. I'm used to it. It makes planning things easier.

[tazdev3225]

I went on a trip several years ago with my aunt and her GF. I left my DH at home with the kids. The trip was originally my aunt and me as she was separated from her GF and then they reconciled. It was a weird trip for me in many ways. I missed my family and felt like a third wheel at times. My aunt and her GF also like to spend more time at the hotel and I hit the parks at a full run. I didn't want to go at first but my DH actually encouraged me to do it. It actually turned out to be a great trip and being solo let me see many things that I had missed before with the family. DH takes trips solo for a weekend now and again and I am fine with it because I totally trust him.

[soulmates]

I guess it does depend on the couple. As for "Trusting", I don't think that has anything to do with it, at least for us. We simply prefer to be together on trips, and such. My DP travels to Dallas to see her family at least once a year without me. I understand they need time with just them, and I get that. That doesn't mean we don't miss eachother. The same w/ me, I do things w/ my family and because of work, she can't attend...again, we miss eachother. Of all the people in the world, she is the ONE person, I want to share everything with. As for Disney, this will be her FIRST trip there. She's always wanted to go, but past g/f's weren't interested. We've traveled everywhere together and as much as I wanted to do Disney first, I waited for her to suggest it. Now, our trip in Aug....I am BEYOND excited. I get to share my most happiest place on earth, with my Beloved. I guess we're just lucky, in that we BOTH enjoy spending time together and the thought of doing vacations alone, doesn't enter our minds. Our friends say, we have it bad, guess so!;)

[Timon-n-Pumbaa Fan]

If your partner going off on a solo trip to Disney is reason for you to have "trust issues", then your relationship needs a lot of work. IMHO

Who the heck goes to WDW to cheat?!?!?!

[wallyb]

How else do you "get with" tigger? ;)

"Come on tiger - let's get busy.":hyper:

[hematite153]

Thinking through this thread has been interesting. I started with..."I'd never want to go to wdw alone" and then started thinking.

It's true...I've always gone to wdw with my DW--it was her obsession (her parents took her when she was 5 and she hadn't found anyone willing to go with her since) which I grudgingly agreed to endure until I (quickly) learned to love it. So, we have a great time being there together.

But, she travels for work so we spend a lot of time apart normally. And, I did a reasonable amount of traveling on my own in my 20s, so, I'm fairly good at striking out and going somewhere. I went to Portugal by myself on short notice a few years ago and had a good time, but, I did notice the sense of aloneness that can develop whenever things go wrong.

So, for now, I doubt I'd go to wdw alone, but, I might try it someday.

[Mamizilla]

That's a good question. I am answering as a heterosexual woman, however, my two best friends are both Lesbians. They arent together though. One of them has been to Disney with her DP and without her DP and she told me that she mad more fun without her DP. Not that her DP isnt any fun, but she had a chance to relax without the constraints of a partner with her. She could do what she want, when she wanted, how she wanted. She actually went the first time with their 2 year old daughter (at the time - she's 6 now) and then the second time she went was with her other best friend, Mitch. Was her DP offended? Of course! But when she realized that she should take her OWN solo vacation, she did. Now every year they take a summer vacation together in July and a fall vacation seperately in November. It helps their relationship. They've been together over 11 years and love each other no less than the first time they fell in love. I think it really just depends on how your partner feels, and how you feel. If your partner cannot deal with it, it might not be best to do it, but if you can do that seperately, go for it. And that goes for both heterosexual and homosexual couples.:grouphug:

[mykidsintow]

I hate going anywhere alone.
:guilty:
I can't imagine dining alone. :faint:
It be a great diet plan for me.

I am with you on this one Wally. I hate eating out alone, shopping alone.... blah.

I wouldn't want to go to Disney alone. I think I would be sad instead of feeling the "magic"

[zeitzeuge]

First off, I think my DP would KILL me if I went to Disneyland alone and left him behind. He would be sitting at home plotting his revenge. :)

But, if I were traveling for work and ended up in Anaheim or Orlando, if given the chance I would definitely go alone rather then not go at all. I could still have fun. Sure, half the fun is being with people you love and care about. Someone to share the magic if you will. Traveling for work forced me to try and have a good time eating, shopping or going out for a drink alone. Yes, it's not the same, but I can do it and enjoy myself.

I'm sure that there would be feelings of loneliness. But overall, I think I could still have a good time shopping, eating and riding everything I want, when I want.

Again.......this would never happen since I would be castrated if I tried to go to a Disney Park without him.

[TuckandStuiesMom]

I have been waiting till I was home alone to post my two cents on this thread. LOL!

In spite of 35 really good years together, My OH would rather get poked in the eye with a sharp stick than EVER go to WDW again. He's only been one time -- didn't like the heat/humidity and crowds. I think the crowning indignity was when he looked into fishing on Bay Lake and found out it was catch and release only. :eek: He even gets a little grumpy when I start to get that "Trip Planning Gleam" in my eye.

The way I see it: he mostly puts up with me and my nonsense. The least I can do is put up with this small failing of his...

All but one of my trips have been with kids and family members. In 2006, I made a solo trip and it was fun... different but fun. Eating alone (even at my favorite spots) was the pits -- I did a lot better once I gave up on that. I took tons of pictures, enjoyed people-watching, and even slept in one morning (that was pretty flippin' EXCELLENT).

Better to go alone than not to go at all... :goodvibes

[tmclanton]

Typically, I like going as a family. However, this past December, my son and I went without my husband. He owns a liquor store and is unable to leave for several days between Halloween and New Years because of the business. I REALLY wanted to go during Christmas... so my choice was to wait years and years until he could take off or go without him. Needless to say, it took me about 2 seconds to get to the phone to make reservations when he told me we could go without him... Didn't even try to look disappointed that he would not be going with us! Sorry honey!

However, I will say that he is not the Disney Freak that I am! He does not get it like my son and I do!

[Tony-NJ]

I understand what you are saying Jen.. I travel quite often, though not as much as I used to, for work. I have clients in FL that I visit at least 2x per year. I also have some family there. Chris usually can't get away.. I'm going next week and will be spending 2 nights in DTD and will be visiting family during the days. I'm not sure I could do the parks etc without Chris - but I do go and resort hop while I'll have some free time.

A couple of years ago I stayed 2 nights at the BWV as I had extra points - that was kind of weird without Chris.

I guess at this time - we would never think of "vacationing" alone. We enjoy each other too much!

[glenpreece]

I love going to wdw solo, i'm sure it would be more fun with a guy but it's a great place for me to getaway from home life for awhile and just be immeresed in the magic. No outside world creeping in and no little bratty kids sitting at a table calling me the gay f word as I walk by.