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View Full Version : Extra Money Collected.....HELP


JackJack08
12-18-2008, 08:08 AM
O.k. so the story is...I have collected a bunch of money, from my community to help a needy family. The response was SO great, that I have money left over. (Because I'm such a budget shopper!;) ) So. I was going to open a bank account and put the rest in there for next year. I figure, I sort of have to continue next year, if they still need it. I don't want the kids to think next year, when they don't get presents, that they were bad or anything. So no problem.......then my friend tells me, she knows another needy family that can't pay their hydro bill and wonders, if I would give the money to them. The bill is over $500. Keep in mind that she is in the $80 to $90k income bracket at her work. So is everyone else there. I collected $20 from her and no money from anyone she works with.
Am I wrong, to think maybe she should just collect a bit from her work to help them??:confused3
Our family just did this on our own. We collected $996. Not looking for a pat on the back.....I just think maybe she could do the same for this family.

Darcy03231
12-18-2008, 08:19 AM
I would take the leftover money and buy a gift card to a local grocery store for the needy family you collected for that way all the money will be spent for the family it was intended for. Once the holidays are over they could probably still use the help. I would let your friend take up a collection for the family she wants to help and give her $20.

HayGan
12-18-2008, 08:20 AM
How about buying a gc to a food store for the family that you collected the money for? People donated for that family and that is what it should be used for. I'll be honest and say that if I found out that I donated money for a family and the collector decided to do something else with it, I would be highly upset. Plus the fact that you can get is serious legal trouble for doing something like that. The same thing happened to a gentleman in our area and he has been charged with fraud and theft.

I think it is great that you took the time and effort to do this for this family. I'm sure your kindness and generosity will find its way back to you :)

tink fan
12-18-2008, 08:24 AM
If you collected to help a specific family and people contributed thinking it was to go to that family, the money should only go to them.

I don't know all the circumstances, but in my opinion, I think you should give the family you collected for the leftover money as well. Give them grocery certificates or walmart giftcards if you don't want to give them cash. Who knows what could happen in the next year-you might move, they might move, etc.

That's a great thing your family did and is very inspiring!!!

Tink-n-MrIncredible
12-18-2008, 08:24 AM
The original collection should go to the original family. Get them a gc for groceries.

4Seasons
12-18-2008, 08:27 AM
The original collection should go to the original family. Get them a gc for groceries.

I agree, if I'm donating to a specific cause (or family) then that's where I want my donation to go.
I think grocery gift cards are perfect.

tlh0726
12-18-2008, 08:34 AM
Take the advice of the previous posters, you need to spend this money on the family that you collected it for. If you collected it specifying this family as the recipient then yes it would be considered fraud and theft by deception. Keep all receipts (there is always someone that questions good intentions)
Depending on the amount you have remaining, get several different gift certificates for local places. Grocery store, Gas station, Movie theater, Bowling, skating, something they can do as a family.

aka-mad4themouse
12-18-2008, 08:34 AM
I agree with everyone else on this one. The money should go to the family that it was specified for and it should go to them now. I like the idea of a grocery GC that they can choose to use now or next month. Everybody's got to eat!

In all honesty, I would be unhappy if I donated money for one purpose and then the receiving agency turned around and re-purposed it. It would be the last time that I trusted them with my charity donation.

msmayor
12-18-2008, 08:36 AM
If you ever hope to continue to get the support of your friends who donated, then you MUST make sure that every single penny of what you collected goes to that family THIS year...its not even proper to bank any of it for next year.

The folks you collected from gave you that money in good faith...faith that it would be going to that family this season, not next...and that it wouldn't be going to anyone else. You have a duty and an obligation to carry out your original intention which was to make THIS Christmas special for this particular family.

horseshowmom
12-18-2008, 08:40 AM
More agreement here. I would give them a gift card to a grocery store or possibly make a pre-payment on their utilities. The money needs to go to this family this year. I don't think you want to open yourself up to the problems that could come up if you don't.

CarolA
12-18-2008, 08:43 AM
I would take the leftover money and buy a gift card to a local grocery store for the needy family you collected for that way all the money will be spent for the family it was intended for. Once the holidays are over they could probably still use the help. I would let your friend take up a collection for the family she wants to help and give her $20.

I think this is your BEST and really ONLY option.

You collected the money for ONE family. Using it for another family or setting up a bank account for "next year" is not a good idea. The bank account option could EASILY open you up for legal action if it ever got out. You aren't a charity, you can't keep this money for future use! And if you do and it gets out then you can be subject to legal action. (It's no different then the family where the mother "claims" the kid has cancer, collects donations to fund treatment and then everyone discovers "opps no cancer") You will be seen as profiting. INTENT is not going to fly here LOL!

Your third option, assuming you kept decent records, return proportionally the money you didn't spend to the donors. So if I gave 10% of the funds I get 10% of the overage back.

Really you are opening a can of worms that could cost you and your reputation DEARLY if you don't either return the cash or spend it on who you told folks you were spending it on.

(And to be honest, this example is why I generally don't give to "private" fundraising. As we can see there is NO GUARANTEE the money is going where you think it is!)

newtodis
12-18-2008, 08:46 AM
We recently did this for a family whose who burned down. In order to open a bank account, you either need that person's driver's license and SS# (they'll have to report this as "income" we were told) or find a business to use a tax id # to be "tax free" basically. (this is only what we were told and I have a friend that works at a bank that I trust) That said, I'd go with what the others said and purchase gift cards or stock them up on things to go in the pantry/freezer if you're not wanting to give them a gift card for something.

I also agree with keeping all of the reciepts in a safe location for a while just to be safe. If the money was collected for a specific purpose (specifically this family), it's really in your best interest to keep it for this family. If they turn around and choose to donate it, that's fine but it's their choice.

Another suggestion would be to call the local utility companies (phone, cable, water, whatever) and see if you're able to pay $x.-- on their bill in person or by phone. That would help out a lot and be a nice surprise when they get the bill and see it's $25 less than what they were expecting.

What a wonderful thing you've done for the family - it will come back to you for sure!

EthansMom
12-18-2008, 08:54 AM
I agree with the previous posters... that money should go to the family now as was intended by the donors. I also agree with the previous posters... give a gift card to the grocery store and pay their heating/electric bill. Both would really help the family right now and follow the intent of the donors.

Crystal0608
12-18-2008, 08:57 AM
I think you should spend it on the family it was collected for. Can you send it in to the power or other utility company where it might pay a lot of the bill for a year or I agree on the grocery store on.

mom2cinderella
12-18-2008, 09:01 AM
I agree - the $ need to go to the original family, this Christmas. I think gift cards to the grocery store, gas stations and maybe a couple restaurants would be wonderful.

:) Michele

burberryplaid
12-18-2008, 09:05 AM
I agree with everyone else, I would use the extra money for the family you collected it for. If I gave money to help a certain family and it was given to another family, I'd be upset. I know the other people have a need, but I didn't give my money to them.

The idea of putting it into savings is a good idea, but I wouldn't worry about next year until next year.

tipsytrtle
12-18-2008, 09:41 AM
i agree as well, get a giftcertificate for a grocery store or pay ahead on their utilities for this year and this family only
think how wondeful peace of mind will be for them to not have to worry about food or electric for the next month??

PaulaSue
12-18-2008, 10:22 AM
I would take the leftover money and buy a gift card to a local grocery store for the needy family you collected for that way all the money will be spent for the family it was intended for. Once the holidays are over they could probably still use the help. I would let your friend take up a collection for the family she wants to help and give her $20.

THat is what I would suggest if it was me.

Darsa
12-18-2008, 10:38 AM
Yep, you've got my vote for a grocery gift card or utility prepayment as well! :)

It's very heartwarming to see what people will do for others in need; thank you for sharing that with us! :grouphug:

Crystal824
12-18-2008, 10:48 AM
I agree use it on a GC for the family for groceries, movies, resturant, etc. You should spend all of the money on this family for this Christmas.

Inigo
12-18-2008, 10:58 AM
Can I add my vote? I agree with everyone else. The money needs to go to the family for which it was donated.

I doubt if you could pre-pay their utilities, and what happens if they leave that residence before they use up the pre-paid utilities? Would they be able to get a refund from the utility company?

I'd suggest a grocery store giftcard, or a pre-paid visa card so they could use the money for other expenses. With a pre-paid visa, they could pay toward their utilities.

Suggest to your friend that her company collect money for the other needy family.

(Oh, and good shopping! Way to budget.)

Mellie2162
12-18-2008, 10:59 AM
Another vote for giving the rest to the needy family or buying them grocery gift cards.

DonnaBelle06
12-18-2008, 11:18 AM
I cannot add anything that others have not mentioned....but just wanted to put in my "I AGREE" two cents..

Really...you "MUST" spend/use the money on the family that you collected the money for - how could you not???? It was entirely given to you for those people and those people alone (not another needy family).

I 100% vote for the grocery g/c. Who doesn't need food? If even not now..they will in the future at any given time...

Donna in NC

Doesney
12-18-2008, 12:30 PM
It wouldn't be right to hold onto the money until next year. Just get them some grocery store gcs and maybe some gcs for gasoline.

luvindisneyworld
12-18-2008, 12:51 PM
If it were me I would take the left over money and buy food for a food bank or get the family a GC for a local grocery store.

disneybridetobe
12-18-2008, 01:44 PM
I need to say this, and I agree that it should be spent on them whether it be utility/food gift card etc because of legal issues...

... but I so think your heart is in the right place by wanting to use it for next Christmas. I can just imagine a few little broken hearts thinking Santa forgot them! ::pregnancy induced tears:: Hopefully this family is in a better position next year. :) If not, just repeat the cycle!

Alesia
12-18-2008, 02:06 PM
I know your heart is in the right place, but you need to give all of the money to the people it was intended for. This year.

Anything else would be stealing.

Rootskate
12-18-2008, 02:25 PM
I'd definitely do the gift card to a grocery store. Im sure that they would love it!

Renysmom
12-18-2008, 03:16 PM
Same thing happened last year for a family my mom was collecting for. What she did was contact her “contact” (the one who linked her up with the family) and got the dates of birthdays and such and had the contact let the parent know that these “holidays” were now covered for the next year. She also bought little baskets for Easter and got a back to school list for the kids. She then worked off those dates and holidays to use the funds. She then let those who donated know there was extra cash available and so they would be supporting the family for the entire year. No one had a problem with this.

secretpantssam
12-18-2008, 03:25 PM
I agree with the other posters. Give them the rest of the money in gift cards and tell your friend to start her own collection if she knows a needy family.

sorul82?
12-18-2008, 03:37 PM
I didn't read every response closely, but I don't think you can even open an account unless you go through all the hoops of setting up a non profit entity and then don't you have to have officers and all that stuff? As others have stated, just opening a person account is a big no no.

emh1129
12-18-2008, 04:22 PM
Wow.. I think this is the first Dis thread I've read where everyone has been in agreement :laughing:

And I agree. All of the money should go to the family it was meant for.
Grocery gift cards and payment on utility bills would be probably the most useful.

Va-bear
12-18-2008, 04:35 PM
I would take the leftover money and buy a gift card to a local grocery store for the needy family you collected for that way all the money will be spent for the family it was intended for. Once the holidays are over they could probably still use the help. I would let your friend take up a collection for the family she wants to help and give her $20.

:thumbsup2 100% perfect reponse!

battricia
12-18-2008, 04:35 PM
I agree w/ everyone else, grocery GC for the original family.

and i'm SO HAPPY to see a unanimous opinion on the dis boards! :banana:

MKCP5
12-18-2008, 05:21 PM
You MUST legally use the money for what it is collected for. Whose name would you use to open the bank account? People might think you are stealing the money and starting your own little nest egg! They can easily misconstrue a good deed and make it in to something ugly!! Protect yourself. Get rid of those $$ properly ASAP

JackJack08
12-18-2008, 05:29 PM
WHEW....thanks everyone for the responses!!! :yay: I agree totally....and was honestly quite offended, when she asked me to do this. Of course, there are needy families everywhere but we are one family....we can't help everyone!
As far as the bank account goes, it would actually go through a third party organization, so technically it wouldn't be "mine" but would be set up as mine, to use for them. Confusing...a little.
I am trying not to take offense to the stealing comment....because if that were the case, I would just use and spend it on myself, instead of even worrying about keeping it for future needs of the family. Which of course would defeat the whole purpose of the act itself!

On a brighter note...I heard today, that Mom had a total breakdown, when she heard this stuff was coming. The last few months have been really hard for her and this is such a kind gesture. She was beside herself! I am thrilled that little ole' me did that!!!!!:flower3:

Oh....and I am going to do the grocery gc, if I can find a grocery store that doesn't carry tobacco products. I made sure they already have a full food hamper coming and also a place, for a home-cooked Christmas dinner if they choose to go.

roxy83
12-18-2008, 05:38 PM
I debated on weighing in on this because I am very opinionated. :rotfl:

I personally would be VERY ticked off if I donated to this great cause and then found out that the money wasn't spent appropriately. I would personally recommend that you spend every single dollar on this family in some capactity. Whether it's groceries, utilities, clothes for the kids, more toys, etc. That is where the donors want the money to go. Also, it's not your place to determine what this family should spend the grocery money on. I agree that using it on tobacco products isn't ideal but they are adults who will appreciate being able to make an adult decision with this money. If you are that concerned please buy more non perishable items and LOAD up their pantry for them. You can add paper towels, toilet paper, a subscription to the local newspaper and a book on coupon clipping. There are ways to make this money work for everyone but it's THEIRS.

JackJack08
12-18-2008, 06:05 PM
I debated on weighing in on this because I am very opinionated. :rotfl:

I personally would be VERY ticked off if I donated to this great cause and then found out that the money wasn't spent appropriately. I would personally recommend that you spend every single dollar on this family in some capactity. Whether it's groceries, utilities, clothes for the kids, more toys, etc. That is where the donors want the money to go. Also, it's not your place to determine what this family should spend the grocery money on. I agree that using it on tobacco products isn't ideal but they are adults who will appreciate being able to make an adult decision with this money. If you are that concerned please buy more non perishable items and LOAD up their pantry for them. You can add paper towels, toilet paper, a subscription to the local newspaper and a book on coupon clipping. There are ways to make this money work for everyone but it's THEIRS.

I am making sure the money is spent appropriately....that means the money that I have worked so hard to collect, will be spent on something beneficial to EVERY member of the family. Tobacco products are not beneficial to 4 children in any capacity. If they choose to spend money, that has not been donated to better their lives, on cigarettes than that is fine. I personally would be TICKED if I donated money and then found out the person in charge let it be spent on tobacco and/or alcohol etc....

So, yes it is my business what they spend their "grocery" money on. I have been entrusted and have an obligation, to those folks that gave their hard earned money, for me to see that this family doesn't go without.:mad:

taraprather
12-18-2008, 06:20 PM
We also adopted a needy family this year. We don't make that much (35k range) and hubby is in the car business. But my kids were all done for xmas so my hubby decided we'd adopt a family. He took a collection up at his work and collected a couple hundred dollars, lots of clothes, and plenty of food. When I finished the shopping (basically getting EVERYTHING on there christmas lists (even moms!) Another budget shopper here :)I still had a little left over. So I decided to get them a gift card to a grocery store in that amount.
I think they will really appreciate that, because that's one thing that they will always need.

JackJack08
12-18-2008, 06:34 PM
We also adopted a needy family this year. We don't make that much (35k range) and hubby is in the car business. But my kids were all done for xmas so my hubby decided we'd adopt a family. He took a collection up at his work and collected a couple hundred dollars, lots of clothes, and plenty of food. When I finished the shopping (basically getting EVERYTHING on there christmas lists (even moms!) Another budget shopper here :)I still had a little left over. So I decided to get them a gift card to a grocery store in that amount.
I think they will really appreciate that, because that's one thing that they will always need.

Congrats to you!! What a lucky family.....Do you know what is so sad, about the family that we have collected for? When I asked if there were things that the kids were hoping for, I was told that they really don't ever wish for anything....because it isn't even a possibility. So sad.:sad2:

taraprather
12-18-2008, 06:40 PM
Congrats to you!! What a lucky family.....Do you know what is so sad, about the family that we have collected for? When I asked if there were things that the kids were hoping for, I was told that they really don't ever wish for anything....because it isn't even a possibility. So sad.:sad2:

Aww, that is so sad. Poor kids. When I ask what the kids wanted, the mom said, just clothes. They are wearing old raggedy clothes that hardly fit. About 2 weeks later I talked to her again and got more of a list of stuff that her kids have seemed to have an interest in. We finally finished wrapping everything up today. I'll be happy to get all this stuff out of my living room! We plan on bringing it to them on the 23rd.

Handbag Lady
12-18-2008, 06:54 PM
I'm sitting here at work reading this, looking for ideas, too.

I have a small office filled with two bikes and helmets and elbow and knee pads, and about 8 carrier bags full of clothes and presents for our adopted family. I sure wish I had your problem of excess money...I even did another round of requesting money for gift wrap!

We're all set now. I can be very persuasive. :thumbsup2

PelletierBears
12-18-2008, 07:36 PM
I am making sure the money is spent appropriately....that means the money that I have worked so hard to collect, will be spent on something beneficial to EVERY member of the family. Tobacco products are not beneficial to 4 children in any capacity. If they choose to spend money, that has not been donated to better their lives, on cigarettes than that is fine. I personally would be TICKED if I donated money and then found out the person in charge let it be spent on tobacco and/or alcohol etc....

So, yes it is my business what they spend their "grocery" money on. I have been entrusted and have an obligation, to those folks that gave their hard earned money, for me to see that this family doesn't go without.:mad:


Sorry but I agree with the poster you're upset with. You've done a wonderful thing by helping this family through a tough time in their lives. But you can't save people from themselves. I understand your feelings, I hate everything to do with cigarettes. Both my Dad and an aunt have passed away from lung cancer. But the parents of this family are adults, don't insult them by treating them like children. You want to help but with conditions....

By the way, are there any groceries stores that don't sell tobacco products?

pearlieq
12-18-2008, 07:56 PM
I am making sure the money is spent appropriately....that means the money that I have worked so hard to collect, will be spent on something beneficial to EVERY member of the family. Tobacco products are not beneficial to 4 children in any capacity. If they choose to spend money, that has not been donated to better their lives, on cigarettes than that is fine. I personally would be TICKED if I donated money and then found out the person in charge let it be spent on tobacco and/or alcohol etc....

So, yes it is my business what they spend their "grocery" money on. I have been entrusted and have an obligation, to those folks that gave their hard earned money, for me to see that this family doesn't go without.:mad:

I was with you up until this. I honestly think it's really insulting. It's turning a really nice thing you did into something mean and judgmental.

When you give, you give freely, not with strings and conditions. Do you really think so little of these people that you want to police their actions like little children? Why are Twinkies OK and cigarettes not? Does someone need to approve the type of lunchmeat they buy?

If it's really that big of an issue, just pay ahead their utilities or something. You can pay that directly to the company.

HayGan
12-18-2008, 08:04 PM
OP - I understand that you would want the funds used in a way that would benefit the entire family. Aldi's do have gift certificates at this time of the year ($25 denominations) and they do not sell tobacco products. You could also look into monthly deliveries of fresh fruit (there are a number of services that do this) or maybe pre-pay for them for Angel Food Ministries. I also understand others opinion that these are adults and you have to have some faith in them to use the gc's in a way that would be most beneficial to their children.

I do not know how much of the funds you have left but if there is a couple hundred, you could buy them a small chest freezer and buy meat in bulk to fill it with.

roxy83
12-18-2008, 08:15 PM
OP - I did want to add that I think that what you are doing is selfless and fantastic. I know my message came across harsh and it wasn't my intent.

I would ask that you do some thinking on where this money makes the most sense and how it's managed. I also wanted to point out that I am not a smoker but my parents are. They ALWAYS sacrificed their cigarettes to make sure that we didn't need for anything growing up. I guess that's why I feel that most adults will put the needs of the children first.

JackJack08
12-18-2008, 08:54 PM
See the thing is...our town is VERY small...I know Dad has some "bad" habits. I am not treating anyone like a child. To me giving someone a GC is like giving someone money. Would you give them money? Of course not. Because it may not be spent in a responsible way. A way that would benefit the whole family....like it was intended. Normally, I would not be in the position to decide what is responsible behaviour for anyone. But in this case I have a huge responsibility to many people. I cannot save anyone from themselves...and trust me, I'm not trying to. I have my own life to deal with.

Oh....and there is a big difference between Twinkies and tobacco products. Please. If you think it's insulting, that I want them to buy food with a GROCERY store gc.....than whatever. Whatever they want to buy with money that they have earned themselves fine. They have "earned" this donation as well, it's just going to purchase food. I don't really think that I am asking to much.

JackJack08
12-18-2008, 09:13 PM
OP - I understand that you would want the funds used in a way that would benefit the entire family. Aldi's do have gift certificates at this time of the year ($25 denominations) and they do not sell tobacco products. You could also look into monthly deliveries of fresh fruit (there are a number of services that do this) or maybe pre-pay for them for Angel Food Ministries. I also understand others opinion that these are adults and you have to have some faith in them to use the gc's in a way that would be most beneficial to their children.

I do not know how much of the funds you have left but if there is a couple hundred, you could buy them a small chest freezer and buy meat in bulk to fill it with.

Aldi's is a great idea.;) Thanks! I do have faith in people....and if it was just my $$ I would have less of an issue.
I actually like the freezer idea too. Hmmmm.... now you have me thinking.....then she could purchase things when they are on sale too. Things that they enjoy but can't purchase in bulk, because they have no room.

Alesia
12-18-2008, 09:25 PM
Aldi's is a great idea.;) Thanks! I do have faith in people....and if it was just my $$ I would have less of an issue.
I actually like the freezer idea too. Hmmmm.... now you have me thinking.....then she could purchase things when they are on sale too. Things that they enjoy but can't purchase in bulk, because they have no room.

Can they afford to pay the extra electricity. I'm not sure how much it would cost to run a freezer, but I'm guessing that it would be fairly significant, especially if they are already relying on charity.

JackJack08
12-18-2008, 09:32 PM
Can they afford to pay the extra electricity. I'm not sure how much it would cost to run a freezer, but I'm guessing that it would be fairly significant, especially if they are already relying on charity.

True. I should look into the cost, to run one of these for a year. I think the new energy saving ones, approximate the electricity usage per year. I know my fridge was $18 per year or something. Much better than I thought it would be. Maybe freezers use extra wattage though...........:confused3

plummer925
12-18-2008, 09:35 PM
See the thing is...our town is VERY small...I know Dad has some "bad" habits. I am not treating anyone like a child. To me giving someone a GC is like giving someone money. Would you give them money? Of course not. Because it may not be spent in a responsible way. A way that would benefit the whole family....like it was intended. Normally, I would not be in the position to decide what is responsible behaviour for anyone. But in this case I have a huge responsibility to many people. I cannot save anyone from themselves...and trust me, I'm not trying to. I have my own life to deal with.

Oh....and there is a big difference between Twinkies and tobacco products. Please. If you think it's insulting, that I want them to buy food with a GROCERY store gc.....than whatever. Whatever they want to buy with money that they have earned themselves fine. They have "earned" this donation as well, it's just going to purchase food. I don't really think that I am asking to much.

Check your local grocery store - I know that 3 of the 4 in my areas have stipulations on gift cards - no tobacco or alcohol, no stamps, and no other prepaid cards. Maybe yours has a similar situation.

I think what you are doing is WONDERFUL!!!

ThreeMusketeers
12-18-2008, 10:06 PM
I would make sure that whatever money you collected for that needy family THIS YEAR, goes to that needy family THIS YEAR. I agree with the grocery store gift card. A perfect solution.

If you feel this will open the door to the parents making bad decisions with money your community has given them..then why not buy a load of non perishable items to give to them. Or buy them a months worth of grocery's. Or possiably some clothing for the kids. Pencils, Pens, supplies for school.
Or a combination of it all.

ELLE-TN
12-18-2008, 10:51 PM
I must agree with lots of others who say this money was meant for [B]THIS [B] family [B]THIS[B] year! GC to the grocery store (no alcohol or tobacco restrictions of course) and prepaying utility bills is an excellent idea for left over funds.

Thanks so much for your effort in helping this family!
You must have a heart of Gold.

JackJack08
12-19-2008, 12:26 AM
Thanks so much everyone and have a Merry Christmas!!;)

Laurel1
12-19-2008, 12:45 AM
It is not a waste thing if you spend it on your family..If you are not ready to look after your family and your's happiness...Then what for the money is?:cool1:

angeleigh
12-19-2008, 05:50 AM
Sorry but I agree with the poster you're upset with. You've done a wonderful thing by helping this family through a tough time in their lives. But you can't save people from themselves. I understand your feelings, I hate everything to do with cigarettes. Both my Dad and an aunt have passed away from lung cancer. But the parents of this family are adults, don't insult them by treating them like children. You want to help but with conditions....

By the way, are there any groceries stores that don't sell tobacco products?

I know in our area Wegman's does not sell cigarettes.

MKCP5
12-19-2008, 06:59 AM
WHEW....thanks everyone for the responses!!! :yay: I agree totally....and was honestly quite offended, when she asked me to do this. Of course, there are needy families everywhere but we are one family....we can't help everyone!
As far as the bank account goes, it would actually go through a third party organization, so technically it wouldn't be "mine" but would be set up as mine, to use for them. Confusing...a little.
I am trying not to take offense to the stealing comment....because if that were the case, I would just use and spend it on myself, instead of even worrying about keeping it for future needs of the family. Which of course would defeat the whole purpose of the act itself!

On a brighter note...I heard today, that Mom had a total breakdown, when she heard this stuff was coming. The last few months have been really hard for her and this is such a kind gesture. She was beside herself! I am thrilled that little ole' me did that!!!!!:flower3:

Oh....and I am going to do the grocery gc, if I can find a grocery store that doesn't carry tobacco products. I made sure they already have a full food hamper coming and also a place, for a home-cooked Christmas dinner if they choose to go.

Please don't take offense to my comment about stealing--in no way did I infer that you were trying to steal anything. I am saying you need to protect yourself here, people can turn ugly on the rumor of something that they have decided should be done a different way. I work on a board for a non profit. You want EVERYTHING you touch when doing something with other people's money to be upfront and open and clear so no one ever doubts your wonderful intentions!!:)

DawnM
12-19-2008, 07:24 AM
I am not clear on why the other woman who gave only $20 thinks YOU should be the one to help this other family that she found. If she thinks they need help, she can organize her own drive for that particular family. You can always politely suggest that you know there are many hurting this Christmas and this family you are helping is the one you have chosen to help. And add that perhaps the one she wants to help would be a good cause for her to do likewise.

Dawn

horseshowmom
12-19-2008, 08:52 AM
Jack, you're doing a good job. Sort through the ideas and see what you think will be the best fit for your situation. I completely understand (and agree with you) about trying to make sure the money takes care of the entire family. I've seen some situations where the kids went without because the parents spent the money on vices (gambling, etc.). I think you're being reasonable in trying to take precautions to prevent that from happening. You're just trying to protect the kids.

Merry Christmas! :santa:

Cynt
12-19-2008, 09:12 AM
This is awesome. Congrats on a job well done.

A GC is a good idea. If you're concerned about them purchasing tobacco purchase more non perishable items with the leftover money...dry pasta, can vegetables (you never have enough of them), canned tuna, toiletetries - you know you never have enough toilet paper, deoderant, paper towels, bath soap, laundry detergent, etc.

My BIL has issues like the man you described so I totally understand where you're coming from on the tobacco issue. When my sister and her family are in need I never give them cash. He would smoke and drink it up in a heart beat.

I pray God gives you wisdom on how to spend the balance of the money.

KristiA
12-19-2008, 10:17 AM
I agree with the gift card to the grocery store. Our investment group adopts a family for Christmas and we buy everything on the their list and then everyone either brings food from their pantry and chips in gift cards to the grocery story.

prncess674
12-19-2008, 10:35 AM
We collected $996. Not looking for a pat on the back.....I just think maybe she could do the same for this family.You say you collected $996, what do you have left? I would stock them up with toiletries, laundry detergent, paper products, etc.

Also did you cover the less glam clothing items for the kids? pajamas, socks, undies, school shoes.

Chicago526
12-19-2008, 11:03 AM
WHEW....thanks everyone for the responses!!! :yay: I agree totally....and was honestly quite offended, when she asked me to do this. Of course, there are needy families everywhere but we are one family....we can't help everyone!
As far as the bank account goes, it would actually go through a third party organization, so technically it wouldn't be "mine" but would be set up as mine, to use for them. Confusing...a little.
I am trying not to take offense to the stealing comment....because if that were the case, I would just use and spend it on myself, instead of even worrying about keeping it for future needs of the family. Which of course would defeat the whole purpose of the act itself!

On a brighter note...I heard today, that Mom had a total breakdown, when she heard this stuff was coming. The last few months have been really hard for her and this is such a kind gesture. She was beside herself! I am thrilled that little ole' me did that!!!!!:flower3:

Oh....and I am going to do the grocery gc, if I can find a grocery store that doesn't carry tobacco products. I made sure they already have a full food hamper coming and also a place, for a home-cooked Christmas dinner if they choose to go.

Didn't read the rest of the posts, so someone else may have stated this, but Target no longer sells tobacco (hasn't since the late 90's when I worked there). And this way, they can buy food or clothes or bed sheets, whatever they wind up needing.

JackJack08
12-19-2008, 11:27 AM
Hello again everone!! Thank you all for your input and ideas!!:thumbsup2

To the poster who was worried about the less glam "stuff". I have it all covered. Socks, mitts, hats, shampoo, new backpacks filled with school supplies (donated by the kids school), the teenage daughter got a face mask and scrub (she has a bit of an issue with acne so I thought this might help--without being too forward). New fun toothbrushes and toothpaste to match, winter boots for 1 etc....etc...I really thought a lot about the items that were given and I appreciate all of your positive comments. I really don't like a lot of "fuss" made about it. I hope to goodness she doesn't find out who organized all of it. But it is nice to hear great things from all of you!!:)

Momma2dakidz
12-19-2008, 01:08 PM
Jack, COngrats on a great drive! There is NO better feeling than this! I have done this for many years and this is what has made me feel the best. There is no higher feeling than budget shopping for a family with nothing.

As for the remaining money, USE IT! I have been burnt many times by giving the cash or gift cards. as for teh freezer........ great idea but i had one family host a huge cookout with all the meat i gave.............UGH! I am sure the kids could use SOMETHING. The mom would even appreciate another hamper full of food.

If it hasnt been spent yet you could also go to a local mom and pop store and have them write a gift card for specific items. Or what about haircuts?

JackJack08
12-19-2008, 03:08 PM
GReat idea about the haircuts! I have actually talked to our local theatre about some movie passes as well!! Thanks for the idea...and the heads up about the freezer.

sorul82?
12-19-2008, 03:51 PM
Didn't read the rest of the posts, so someone else may have stated this, but Target no longer sells tobacco (hasn't since the late 90's when I worked there). And this way, they can buy food or clothes or bed sheets, whatever they wind up needing.

Wow, I never noticed, but this is great to know!