Day of Remembrance for our loved ones Dec 21

[safetymom]

I did this last year here on the DIS. If you would post the names of those people you would like to remember I will post all the names in the first post.

We would all light a candle to remember all those people who are no longer with us but we hold them in our hearts. OR Those people that need special prayers this upcoming holiday season. December 21st is the shortest day of the year and I thought it would be a good time to remember our loved ones.

Please share your stories here also. I know this can be a tough time for many. I know I take comfort in my memories when we have "those" moments.

Memorial Candles

As we light these four candles in honor of you,

we light one for our grief,

one for our courage,

one for our memories,

and one for our love.



This candle represents our grief. The pain of losing you is intense. It reminds us of the depth of our love for you.



This candle represents our courage-- to confront our sorrow-- to comfort each other, to change our lives.



This light is in your memory-- the times we laughed, the times cried, the times we were angry with each other, the silly things you did, the caring and joy you gave us.



This light is the light of love. As we enter this holiday season, day by day we cherish the special place in our hearts that will always be reserved for you. We thank you for the gift your living brought to each of us.



We love you



As posted on Prodigy's Grief and Death board by Cathy Tholen.. This group was a lifesaver for me when my husband passed away.

[safetymom]

Safetymom- My late darling husband Fran and my parents. You will always hold a special place in my heart.

CDoobee- Please add my DD, Hilary, to the list.

A Mickeyfan- Please add my Mom, Betty.

SueM in MN- Please add my nephew, Lee.

CarolAnnC- My late (first) husband Michael...

Kimis- Please add my mom, Leila, to the list.

JerJan- Please add my DH to the list.

CarolynU- Please add DH Roger.

WDWLVR- My mother - Mary Ellen Cheney and My grandmother - Marie Rile

Antmaril- Please add my husband, Mat, to the list.

Talking Hands- Please add my parents Nancy and Risden Lyle and my brother Risden Graham.

Karen l- Please add my DH James who passed away from lung cancer.

Luvsmickeymouse- My father, Milton Manchester and A long time friend of mine, Maureen Noble, aka Mickey's neighbor on the DIS.

Caropooh- Please add my mother, Shirley Strong.

Jmkms- Please add my dad, Walter Shaffer Sr to the list.

Judy Judy Judy- Please add someone special for me : Lucy Phillips....always in my heart!!!!!!!!!!!

Steffiesunshine- My mother Carol Colt and My sister Justine Colt-Sullivan.

Oybolshoi- Please add my brother Mike to the list.

Louey- Please add my Dad (Pops).

Mousehouselover- Please add my MIL Susan to the list.

Megan07- I'd like to add my Dad- Tom to the list.

Disneyfamily71- Please add my dad Bill.

TammyAlphabet- I lost my DH on Feb.3 of this year.

Hroyale- Please add my DM June Haynes.

Torontogal- Please add my dear "Papa" to your list.

Julm26- Please add my mom, Geraldine Davies.

Luvdzny- Please add my daughter's boyfriend, Devon.

helenk- Please add my mother Helen

annie1995- Please add my Grandpa who passed away from heart disease 15 years ago. And also my Uncle/GodFather who died Oct 31, 2006.

Tarheel girl 1975- Please add my dad Bill to the list.

[CDoobee]

Hi,

Please add my DD, Hilary, to the list. Here is her story. She was born with a brittle bone disease, Osteogenesis Imperfecta, on December 27, 1972. I didn't find out until after her death that she wasn't expected to live past puberty. She passed away on May 16, 2006, at the age of 33. She was my oldest child.

She was very tiny and used a motorized wheelchair. She graduated with honors from college, and taught special education for 3 years. She got married on August 19, 2001 and was very happy.

On February 6, 2006 she was admitted to the hospital with respiratory problems and severe fatigue. It was discovered she had a kidney stone that was about the size of her kidney. They thought at first that was what was causing her breathing problems. She was so small and had such severe scoliosis that the enlarged kidney was pressing up on her lung. They eventually decided she had pneumonia. Within a week she was moved to ICU and intubated. She was extubated and intubated another 3 times over the course of the next 5 weeks, after which she was transferred to another hospital for a specialist to see her in regards to removing her kidney. He took one look at her and her tiny frame and skeletal problems and said surgery would be too dangerous. She was then discharged and came home on oxygen, to her in-laws home where she and her DH were living at the time.

Approximately, 2 1/2 weeks later, her mother-in-law found her unresponsive after increasing confusion during the day. 911 was called and she was admitted to ICU and again placed on the ventilator where she remained for the next seven weeks. During these 2 hospitalizations, she endured many complications such as pulmonary edema caused by being given too many IV fluids and blood transfusions after accidentally receiving too much of a blood thinner, which caused a bladder hemorrhage. She was in severe pain and was on a Fentanyl patch. Her blood pressure was elevated and required medication. She had periods of severe confusion, which we later found was due to the build-up of CO2 in her system. Both lungs collapsed, necessitating the insertion of chest tubes. Many other complications too numerous to state.

She finally came off the ventilator the Friday before Mother's Day and was doing well. It was a wonderful Mother's Day present! She was expected at that point to again recover enough to go home, with the addition of oxygen. However, the next day, Monday, her DH was informed that he had a tough decision to make. They said she was taking in enough O2, but just couldn't get rid of the CO2. She either needed to go back on the ventilator and would never be able to come off, or he could let her go. He knew she wouldn't want to live like that. She was conscious the majority of the time during these hospitalizations and had apparently communicated her wishes in the event a choice had to be made. She passed away the next evening. Her tiny, frail body just couldn't go anymore.

She was my first-born. I had her young and we grew up together. My DH was her step-father, who I married when she was 10. She called him by his first name, but talked of him as her dad. He was the best father she could have had. Her siblings are DS (21 when she passed) and DD (14 at the time). Even with the huge age difference, they were all very close.

I love her so much and miss her every day!

Long story, yet so little said about such a wonderful, inspirational person!

[A Mickeyfan]

Please add my Mom, Betty.
She just recently passed away from lung cancer (Oct 10th). She was dx'd with it in June/July 1999. She was a fighter.. she had a strong will and was determinded to beat the odds & she did. She was given a year to live back then.. she beat the odds by many many years. We are greatful for the many extra years we had with her :angel: She was 78 years old when she passed away.

[SueM in MN]

Hugs to A Mickeyfan and CDoobee:grouphug:
and thanks for starting this thread, safetymom.

Please add my nephew, Lee.

One day when his kids were still preschoolers, my brother came home to a note from his wife on the table that said he needed to pick up DD and his son, Lee from day care. The note added that he would need to do that every day from then on, because his wife was leaving and didn't want the kids. So, my brother became a single parent, with his ex-wife coming in and out of the children's lives.
Through his childhood, Lee kept believing in promises his mom made, even though she kept breaking them. His younger sister was more practical and said she would not count on anything with her mom unless she actually saw her mom. Lee kept believing in the promised Halloween costumes, Christmas gifts and a promise of a trip to WDW by his mom. None of that ever materialized and Lee's dad, his sister and the rest of his extended family kept picking up the pieces.
Every year while Lee and his sister were small and through Middle School, DH and I had a cousin's New Year's Eve for our children and their cousins. It was a lot of fun and all the kids stayed up til midnight, when we went out and lit sparklers and wished each other a HAPPY NEW Year. Each year, Lee would tell us something his mom had planned to do with him and that he knew she would do it this year because she promised. We have many happy memories of those NYE parties and I am happy that we were able to bring some joy into Lee's life.

Fast Forward to 1995. Lee had graduated from high school and was not sure what to do with his life. My father died of cancer in the Spring of that year. Lee had been very close to him and was named for him. Lee said afterwards that it was very strange to sit in a memorial service and hear his own name (which he shared with his grandfather) mentioned over and over.
Young Lee was a handsome young man; although he hadn't planned exactly what to do with his life, he had signed up for the military and had gone thru some kind of a pre-training thing while he was a senior in high school, with a promise that once he graduated, he would receive the assignment/training of his choice. As it turned out, that was one more broken promise and he was released from his military sign up because of that.
Then one day in November of 1995, we got a phone call that Lee was dead. He had been shot.
And then we got even more shocking news; he had shot himself.
His funeral was one of the saddest I have ever been to.
A young man with everything ahead of him and everything to live for who could not see those things and could see only one way out.

His sister told me later that the cousin NYE parties were a highlight of their lives and that Lee had even talked about them not long before he killed himself. I am sad, but happy when I think of that. And, as sad as I am at this time of year, it is nothing to the grief of my brother and his daughter.

So, remember all those who are stuck in despair and can't find their way out.
Help if you can.:grouphug:

[CarolAnnC]

My late (first) husband Michael...

We were a happy, typical suburban family in New Hampshire. Married 20 years, two daughters in their teens, a minivan and a doggie. We loved our DVC and WDW vacations. Celebrated our 20th wedding anniversary on board DCL with our daughters....little did we know the horror to come only six months after that..

I awoke that beautiful Sunday morning in September full of happiness and dreaming of what life was to bring us. There was so much promise and hope for the future. But by early evening a massive heart attack claimed the life of my 50 year old husband. I was present, and my oldest daughter walked in to view the scene as well. It is something that one never forgets. But we choose to remember the wonderful, happy times with a man who was a loving father and husband. In retrospect, one sometimes does not appreciate how good life is..until it is gone in an instant.

So please take a moment to remember Michael with us, and also remember all the loving souls that are mentioned here on this thread. Thank you Safetymom...I know you understand.

[kimis]

Please add my mom, Leila, to the list. She passed away from small cell lung cancer two years ago. However with the holidays coming and I have had two new grandchildren born (with a third on its way) that she would have loved I miss her like it was yesterday. I am so sad but I know she would not want that.
She was a strong woman who always put others first. She was my best friend. We would talk on the phone 2-3 times a day. Sometimes I dial her number just to see if the phone company has given that number out yet and they haven't.
Thank you!

[JerJan]

Hi...Please add my DH to the list, he passed away suddenly on July 12, 2008 after a 5 year battle with colon cancer. Hew was 49 years old and left behind DW (me) and two beautiful DD's 16 & 8.

[CarolynU]

Please add DH Roger who died aged 54 from colon cancer in August 2006. He leaves me, and DD (26) and DS (24).
Christmas was always a magical time for us because we used to have the traditional family day followed by leaving for WDW on the 26th. Since then we cannot bring ourselves to return as the memories are just too painful.
Roger battled bravely for 3 years after his first diagnosis, always staying cheerful and positive, and never let his spirit wane. I always descibe Roger as the glue which bound us together, and for a while after he died we came unstuck, but we have worked hard to get ourselves back on track. Two weeks ago DS married, and it was hard thinking that Roger would never be present at this or any other happy event, and my daughter who was a bridesmaid shed a few tears when Roger was mentioned in the ceremony. You move on, but you never forget.

[WDWLVR]

I remember this from last year and it was such a nice tribute. Please add two very important ladies from my life:

My mother - Mary Ellen Cheney who I lost in October of 1997 to lung cancer.

My grandmother - Marie Rile who I lost in October of 1988.

:grouphug: to all who are missing loved ones this holiday season.

[antmaril]

Please add my husband, Mat, to the list. Mat passed away on July 7, 2008 after a nine month battle with pancreatic cancer. He was 55 years old and his memorial service was on our 34th wedding anniversary (July 12th). We have one son, Michael, age 21. Michael and I miss Mat very much. There are no words to describe the loss.

Thank you.

[safetymom]

bump

[Talking Hands]

Please add my parents Nancy and Risden Lyle and my brother Risden Graham. They all had rough lives but I still love and miss them.
Also add my MIL Pilkie. She was my husband's step mother but she brought him up to be the most wonder man. She died of heart failure after 4 years in a nursing home.

[safetymom]

bump

[karen l]

Please add my DH James who passed away from lung cancer. He was a wonderful husband & father and he worked tirelessly with the homeless & mentally ill. We have 3 wonderful children who are now 22,20 & 13yrs. It's been a very tough 5 yrs without him & I miss him everyday. December is particularly rough because of Christmas, my birthday & our wedding anniversay. He was truly the love of my life.
Please add my parents too. Eileen & William were wonderful parents to my sister, brother & me.
Thank you for doing this for everyone.:grouphug:

[luvsmickeymouse]

My father, Milton Manchester, passed away 10-4-08 from conjestive heart failure. he was 81. I am daddy's girl and I am just devastated over losing him.

A long time friend of mine, Maureen Noble, aka Mickey's neighbor on the dis passed away 10-19-08. She was 62 and had recently been diagnosed with cancer.

[safetymom]

bump

[Caropooh]

Please add my mother, Shirley Strong. She passed away Oct 27, 2007 from respiratory failure and lung cancer. She was a 10 year breast cancer survivor. Beginning of Oct '07 she was diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer (never smoked a day in her life) after having pneumonia for the previous 2 months. She went in the hospital to have a chest tube inserted and talc put in her lungs to try and dry them out. She went into respiratory distress when they were trying to take her off the ventilator. She passed away 4 days later after making the decision to be removed from the ventilator. She knew what it meant, but was ready. She had also been disabled her entire life, but never let that stop her.
I miss her terribly.
This is us taking on a DCL cruise in March "07. Little did I know that 7 months later she would be dead.

http://dacostafamily.com/Piratefamily.JPG

[jmkms]

Please add my dad, Walter Shaffer Sr to the list. He went into the hospital 3/12/08 for what the doctors thought was a bleeding ulcer in his stomach. It turned out to be stage 4 stomach cancer. He was always smiling and he never gave up. He was my hero. He passed away 5/25/08. :sad1:

[Judy Judy Judy]

Please add someone special for me : Lucy Phillips....always in my heart!!!!!!!!!!! :sad1: 10/30/95- 04/11/07

[Steffiesunshine]

My mother Carol Colt died in 2003, after developing emphysema. She was only 60. She was a 30 year smoker, but did quit in 2000. Unfortunately, it was too late. I miss her everyday.

My sister Justine Colt-Sullivan passed away in 2006 after a massive heart attack at 40. It was sudden and unexpected, and I still can't believe she is gone. She left behind 4 beautiful kids, and my heart breaks for them also.

Please remember them both.

*******

All your loved ones, here and gone, will be in my prayers.

[oybolshoi]

Hi - thanks for starting this. :grouphug:

Please add my brother Mike to the list. He died from lung cancer in 2001 less than a year after being diagnosed - he was only 37 years old.

I'm never going to grow accustomed to being an only child. :sad1:

[louey]

Please add my Dad (Pops) he passed away January 4, 2002 from bladder cancer and my brother-in-law Dan he passed away this past August from Lewy Bodies Disease and was only 56.

[mousehouselover]

Please add my MIL Susan to the list. She suffered a fatal heart attack on Sept 11th, 2008 at the age of 57. She left behind 4 sons, a DIL, and 4 grandchildren as well as her parents, siblings and other extended family. She joined her DH who was killed in a car wreck 15 yrs earlier.

Christmas was always Susan's favorite holiday. She kept pine garland, twinkle lights and angels on the mantle, the buffet hutch and the tops of the cupboards all year long. The boys who are still living at home have vowed to do the house up this year but I'm afraid it might be too much for them.

[Megan07]

I'd like to add my Dad- Tom to the list. He passed away Oct 30th 2008, 3 weeks after being diagnosed with lung cancer. He also had 2 lesioins on his brain. He died within the hour of finishing his first chemo treatment. He looked great and felt great that day- the best he felt in about a year.

I love you Dad and I miss you sooo much.



On a side note, My mom and I are going to WDW in his memory in June.

[disneyfamily71]

Please add my dad Bill. He died in 2004 of lung cancer. He passed away on my son's 8th birthday. That was the worst day of my life. I am really having a hard time this holiday season. It just hurts so much. I miss him terribly.

Hugs to all :grouphug:

[TammyAlphabet]

I lost my DH on Feb.3 of this year. Superbowl Sunday. One of his favorite days of the year.

He was a restaurant manager and was robbed and shot and died in the hospital a couple of hours later. I will never forget seeing the police uniforms through the skylights of the front door. I swung the door open at 4:30 in the morning and yelled "What Happened!!". They asked if they could come in. I knew instantly that he was gone. They would not have said that if he was alive in a hospital somewhere. They would have told me to hurry to the hospital. I woke the children up at 8 to tell them, with the help of my brother and my friend.

We were married for 18 years and have two minor children. We miss him alot!!

[safetymom]

bump

[hroyale]

Please add my DM June Haynes.

She passed away just a couple of weeks ago (Nov 25, 2008) from lung cancer at 59.

She was planning on joining us on our trip to WDW this Jan. It would have been her first trip there. We're still going, just like we're still having Christmas, but none of it will be easy. It's so hard to keep the magic alive for my 4 year-olds, but that's what she did for me when my dad died just before my 3rd birthday.

Thanks,
Heather

[Torontogal]

Please add my dear "Papa" to your list (prefer to leave name out). He was a wonderful father and passed away in Jan. from a short battle with pancreatic cancer - stage 4. I am devastated losing him. It was all very sudden and I am in shock. I feel a void and will never be the same. He was such a righteous man. Not a minute goes by when I don't think of him. He will always be in my heart.

[julm26]

Please add my mom, Geraldine Davies, who lost her battle with PAncreatic Cancer on Feb. 18, 2008. I miss you everyday Mommy. Lucie sends her love...

[Torontogal]

Please add my mom, Geraldine Davies, who lost her battle with PAncreatic Cancer on Feb. 18, 2008. I miss you everyday Mommy. Lucie sends her love...

Sorry to hear about the loss of your mom. Your mom passed 1 month after my dad to the same disease (pancreatic cancer). My thoughts are with you.

[luvdzny]

Please add my daughter's boyfriend, Devon, to the list. Devon fought a courageous battle with Ewing's Sarcoma for 19 months. He lost his battle on Sunday December 14, 2008 at the age of 20.

Rest In Peace Devon - You will be missed.

[helenk]

Please add my mother Helen, she passed away last August from lung cancer. I miss her so much and even though its been over a year now facing the holidays without her is heart breaking for me.

[annie1995]

Please add my Grandpa who passed away from heart disease 15 years ago. And also my Uncle/GodFather who died Oct 31, 2006. I miss them both very much:sad1:

[Tarheel girl 1975]

Please add my dad Bill to the list. He died from Pancreatic cancer on March 7th. He was 57. This will be my first Christmas without him.

[antmaril]

Please add my dad Bill to the list. He died from Pancreatic cancer on March 7th. He was 57. This will be my first Christmas without him.

I'm very sorry for your loss. My husband passed away on July 7th from pancreatic cancer at age 55.

[Torontogal]

Wow! I cannot believe the amount of people whp have lost loved ones to pancreatic cancer. I lost my dear father this Jan. It is almost the 1 year and I am mourning his loss very deeply. I hate this disease which takes loved ones so quickly but gives no hope in terms of treatment. I pray they find a cure for pancreatic cancer and proper screening methods.
My heart goes out to all of you who know this nightmare only too well.

[antmaril]

Wow! I cannot believe the amount of people whp have lost loved ones to pancreatic cancer. I lost my dear father this Jan. It is almost the 1 year and I am mourning his loss very deeply. I hate this disease which takes loved ones so quickly but gives no hope in terms of treatment. I pray they find a cure for pancreatic cancer and proper screening methods.
My heart goes out to all of you who know this nightmare only too well.

I'm sorry for your loss. Pancreatic cancer is a beast.

[Tarheel girl 1975]

Wow! I cannot believe the amount of people whp have lost loved ones to pancreatic cancer. I lost my dear father this Jan. It is almost the 1 year and I am mourning his loss very deeply. I hate this disease which takes loved ones so quickly but gives no hope in terms of treatment. I pray they find a cure for pancreatic cancer and proper screening methods.
My heart goes out to all of you who know this nightmare only too well.


It's one of those cancers you never hear about, but as soon as you mention it everybody know someone who has dies of it. I would love for them to find a good way to screen for it. I hope you don't mind, but I stole you purple ribbon pic to use as my avatar.

[Torontogal]

It's one of those cancers you never hear about, but as soon as you mention it everybody know someone who has dies of it. I would love for them to find a good way to screen for it. I hope you don't mind, but I stole you purple ribbon pic to use as my avatar.

No problem!

[Rustysmom]

I'm going to steal your purple ribbon too if you don't mind. I missed this thread but my mom Rose died of pancreatic cancer on March 26th. :sad1:

[sandyh67]

this is the first time for me on this board, so although the day of rememberance is over I would like to add my parents.
I lost both of them this past year-
My mom passed Dec. 24th 2007 after a 3 year battle with ovarian cancer
My dads health quickly deteriorated as soon as she passed (they were married just 3 months shy of 50 yrs) he passed on March 17th this past year.

It is still very hard for me to believe they are both gone, I spoke with them each day, and they were there for dinner each Sunday.
My 5yo daughter talked about them each night at bedtime for several months after they passed, she has since stopped. As difficult as this was I am sad that she has stopped talking about them. I know her memory of them will be so limited which breaks my heart, they loved each of my kids so very much.

thanks for letting me have a place to share this. After a year friends stop asking how you are, life goes on, but the pain and loss is still there.

[safetymom]

Thanks for sharing your story. The days do get softer but you never forget.