Aspie Moms, what's the strangest phone call from school you've gotten?

[DisDreaminMom]

So I'm getting used to strange things from my son (6) who is an Aspie. He's so funny and so into things that others would deem strange. Last week, he was suposed to write a story about his favorite "special present". His was about the year Santa brought him nothing but fans of all sizes. It was 2 years ago, and he still remembers it like yesterday. "Santa" has learned not to waste money on toys that DS won't bother to play with. Unless he asks for it, it'll sit there in the corner. (This year it will be the Eiffel Tower and globes- we're branching out!)

Three weeks ago, he totally failed a school administered hearing test because it was the "tone" one. He passed the Dr's test with flying colors a month before because they gave him one that used pictures. I was urged to get him to a specialist right away. The kid can hear a candy wrapper across the house, and ignore someone talking right in front of him if he so chooses. The Dr. and I had a good chuckle over that one.

But the best so far is two days ago when the school guidance counselor called to ask me (very sheepishly so as not to offend, I suppose) if I was aware that my son thought he was a "very pretty girl named Kelly" and had been signing his name like that for the past week on all his schoolwork. He has been pretending to be a girl at least part of every day for the last three years. BUT he has also been a pink poodle, a 101 Dalmation, Giselle from Enchanted, Marie from Aristocats, , Ratatouille, a policeman, a bulldozer, and a car, etc. At least we got him to stop wearing girls clothing, I explained to her. She asked if there was "some biologic component" to this. I told her yes, there was- he has a brain with a huge imagination.

I wonder if the guidance counselor and the teachers were thinking of doing a parts check to maker sure we aren't chopping dear "Kelly"'s hair off and putting "her" in boy's clothes. Did anyone think to ASK him what he was doing, or were they all so freaked out that they just jumped to conclusions? The conversation was heading in that direction, if you get my drift. I told her to talk to him about it and call me back. Today is the day she will, so we'll see what DS has to say for himself.

Anyone want to make me fell better and tell me their stories? I mean, I have a sense of humor, but this is getting ridiculous...:rolleyes1

[bookwormde]

I needed a good laugh

"She asked if there was "some biologic component" to this. I told her yes, there was- he has a brain with a huge imagination. "

thanks

bookwormde

[sdarwkcabemanmy]

DS has told me a couple of times he wants to be a girl. Usually it's after I've been watching some History Channel documentary on biblical times and he sees guys wandering around in robes. To him they look more like dresses. We have a Christmas story (birth of Christ) book and when we get to the bit about the shepards, he always goes, "Lookit..girlymen!".:rotfl:

[BeckyScott]

:lmao:

My first thought was that he'd watched a little too much Dr. Phil.

[bec_oakley]

Last year DS's teacher called me in to talk about his "lunchbox issues".

So far that week his lunchbox had been found
in the garden
in the toilet
on the roof.


What was causing this misbehavior, she wondered. Had there been some change at home? Was he angry about something, and if so why was he taking it out on his lunchbox?

"Maybe his lunch sucked ...?" I offered. :confused3

On the drive home I tentatively brought up the subject with DS.

Me: "Honey, do you want a new lunchbox?"
(slightly moot question, since it had been in the toilet ...)

DS: "Nooooo Mummy! I love my lunchbox!"

Me: "Then why were you trying to get rid of it?"

DS: "I wasn't!"

Me: "Well why did you hide it in the garden?"

DS: "I was using it to hold my ants."

Me: "Okaaay. Well how did it end up in the toilet?"

DS: "I didn't want it to get lonely while I went to the toilet."

Me: "So you ... put it in?"

DS: "No, silly, I put it on top of the toilet so it could wait for me. But I
bumped it when I tried to flush. It only got a little bit wet."

Me: "Right. So if you love your lunchbox so much, why did you throw it on the roof?"

DS: "I was playing basketball with it. I missed."

[BeckyScott]

One thing DS does, and I haven't gotten a call from the school yet but I'm waiting... he turns in wierd stuff for homework.

Like this week he had a worksheet on poetry, writing couplets. Okay, do-able. But after they created their own couplet, they were supposed to draw a picture of it. Oh, don't ever ask my kid to draw a picture, off he goes and there's no stopping him. We ended up with a drawing of his older brother balancing on top of a tv set, on top of the entertainment set, the tv had rabbit ears and honestly I don't think he's ever seen a tv like that in real life, brother had a cartoon-bubble over him with screaming words, he was there holding a bullhorn, etc etc. Usually his drawings, no matter what they're of, involve nuclear explosions, rockets, and demolished buildings. I've often wondered what the teacher must think we do at home. :eek:

The last eval he had, they were running the WISC on him, and at some point they showed him a picture of a bicycle. This same child drags around a dictionary for fun. So that's what his brain pulled up. And when asked to identify the picture, he told them "It's a traditional mode of Chinese transportation." :rotfl2: I think she counted it wrong.

[debbi801]

The main one I get is that DS (also 6) is insisting he is a wolf, won't stop crawling around on his hands and knees and keeps howling at the teacher. I can't tell you how many times we've explained to them that when he gets over-anxious, he retreats into wolf mode. (Last year, he was Buzz Lightyear).

Then, there are the calls about him insisting on cleaning off all the dried glue on all the Elmer's bottles before anyone can use the glue for work. Or the ones about him getting up from his desk picking up all the invisible-to-the-human-eye eraser shavings from people doing their work. Then, there are the ones where he goes to the bathroom and refuses to come out (again when he is over-anxious).

Fun times. :rolleyes: It seems like no matter how much we try to explain and prepare the teachers, how ever much reading material we give them, they just don't get it.

He's getting observed next Wednesday by the special education division of the board of education to evaluate him for a possible transfer to a different school. We'll see what happens.

[DisDreaminMom]

Oh thank you! I really appreciate this! These stories are cracking me up!:rotfl2: I am on here reading when I should be getting ready to pick DS up from school to take him to dentist for fillings and a crown. Surprise, DH wimped out on taking him. When I was a kid, people used to tell me that strange things in my life build character. I always used to think, if I get any more character, I'll be a cartoon. Maybe that's why I feel so comfortable in WDW?:confused3 Glad you are here to make me feel like I'm not alone...(and I totally get the one about the lunchbox- except my son does it to the dog).

[bec_oakley]

(and I totally get the one about the lunchbox- except my son does it to the dog).

He keeps his ants in the dog?

[DisDreaminMom]

:rotfl2:

I honestly haven't had the heart to check. It's very possible. Might explain how the little buggers got in my house this summer.

By the way, DS went to dentist, and dentist started to explain to him about using the laughing gas mask. As soon as he said, "It'll make you feel like you're floating" I got totally excited. DS has been asking how he can "turn off gravity" for the last week. So we made lemonade from lemons and DS was so happy to finally get to feel like he was in outer space. After the work was done (crowns and several fillings) the dental tech came over to me and thanked me :laughing: for bringing in my son that day because she had a horrible week and a few terrible children that morning and my son was the best patient she'd had in a while!

So I guess it's a matter of perspective, huh?

[bec_oakley]

That's really sweet :) Always nice to hear when they're the best at something :thumbsup2

[buzz for boys]

I cant add anything to this at the moment im doubled over laughing - glad to see its not just my little treasure that tests the teacher

[BeckyScott]

As soon as he said, "It'll make you feel like you're floating" I got totally excited. DS has been asking how he can "turn off gravity" for the last week. So we made lemonade from lemons and DS was so happy to finally get to feel like he was in outer space.

My DS fell for that gas mask once. After that it was a no-go.

The last mess of work he had done, they had to give him general and do it as an outpatient surgery. He loved it, wants to go back. :eek: (for what, I don't know, he has 6 caps now, there's hardly anything left) Since we use the same hospital for several different things with him, now he always asks if he gets to go on "the bed ride". I told my DH if that's what he wanted, we'd buy a wagon and drag him around the house. It would be a whole lot cheaper, I thought Disney was expensive :lmao: but "the bed ride" is definately the most expensive attraction he's been on!

[kaffinito]

These are too funny! I love having Aspie kids!

My most recent was during my youngest's informational meeting at his school with the Social Worker last month. She very seriously explained to us that John was drawing "inappropriately sexual pictures." Well, we were shocked at this news, until she showed us the drawing in question. It was of a Yeti that was hairy with a larger muscular chest. She thought that the muscular chest part of the drawing was of breasts, and that the drawing was of a naked woman! :lmao:

Even after I explained it to her, she still threw a fit and insisted that it was of a sexual nature and not allowed in school. She then wanted to know what John was being exposed to at home in order to draw such sexual pictures. My comeback was "And what are you being exposed to that allows you to see such an innocent picture from an 8 year old as sexual?" She's still mad at me.... :confused3

[DisDreaminMom]

Yeah, I'm loving the overt sex suspicion I have gotten from some people. I had a dear friend for many years, until a couple of months ago when she told me that she had been thinking about it and now she had a major problem with me. It seems she joined a new church and had recently decided that my allowing my son (in other words, not fist fighting him) to dress as a bride or a princess when he's pretending to be one (he's 6!) that I was perverted and "had sin in my heart".

No, I haven't talked to her since.

She told me during the same conversation that I should "shame" him into acting more like a boy. Because, you know, our ASD kids react so well to this sort of thing. Sarcasm, guilt, and innuendo are totally understood (not!):confused:

[DisDreaminMom]

Oh, this is funny- you guys will like it.

This Spring, we are at the park on the playground. There is a double slide and my son is running up it (there wasn't anyone else around). Another little boy comes over and starts running up the next slide by my son. New boy looks at my son and says, smiling, "I'm going to beat you up!" as in "let's race up the slides". DS turns at me with a look of total fear and whispers loudly, "I want to leave now- that boy is going to beat me up!" :lmao:

[kaffinito]

Too cute! I love that fact that they don't get it sometimes.

This happened last month. In order to get my youngest to go to bed on time, my ex told him that he would suffer from sleep deprivation and could die from it. Now he goes to bed right when his dad tells him too! ;)

However, not getting it can backfire sometimes. I was being smart and already purchased all of John's Xmas gifts ahead of time. Then yesterday he came up with a plan to only ask Santa for two things, that way he could be sure of getting them. Now what do I do?!?!? :lmao:

[Cheshire Figment]

On Christmas Day tell him that Santa was able to read his mind and knew what he really wanted.

But then no telling what will happen next year...

[kaffinito]

Thanks Cheshire Figment!

I can see how that one might backfire though - he takes things so literally that it make him a little paranoid! Can you just imagine kid with a fear of the all-seeing/ all-knowing Santa Claus? :rotfl:

[BeckyScott]

How about "Santa must have had some overstock in the warehouse?"

[mechurchlady]

Too cute! I love that fact that they don't get it sometimes.

This happened last month. In order to get my youngest to go to bed on time, my ex told him that he would suffer from sleep deprivation and could die from it. Now he goes to bed right when his dad tells him too! ;)

However, not getting it can backfire sometimes. I was being smart and already purchased all of John's Xmas gifts ahead of time. Then yesterday he came up with a plan to only ask Santa for two things, that way he could be sure of getting them. Now what do I do?!?!? :lmao:

Tell him that he was such a good boy that Santa must have given him extra gifts. You can even fake a note from Santa and be creative.

Dear Johnny
Thank you for asking for only 2 gifts. I like children who are not greedy. Because you have been very good this year and because you are not greedy I am giving you a few extra gifts.
yours,
Santa Claus

That or let him have two gifts and you give him all the gifts. Be thankful that he only wants two gifts that cost under $1000 each. He could have asked for a real helicopter and a pony.:laughing:

[Luv Bunnies]

My son (13) attends a school with a specialized Asperger's program. He usually takes the bus, but I drove him this morning because I had to be out that way for an appointment. I walked him in and said hi to the teachers and aides. As I was leaving, a teenage boy stopped me. He said, "Hey! Guess what?" I said, "What?" He said, "Well, I remembered to put on pants today!" I said, "That's great! I'm proud of you!" He walked off smiling. I don't know if forgetting his pants is usually an issue for this kid, but I couldn't help but be amused by his pride.:)

[koolaidmoms]

I usually get calls about clothing. DS does not care about clothing. He wears his pants and shirts backwards, shoes on the wrong feet or mismatched shoes. We (the teachers and I) actually made it a rule that he had to wear underpants and socks everyday. I refuse to fight with him anymore. He knows how to put them on correctly he just does not want to.

One morning he walked into the classroom and announced to everyone there, "I remembered my underpants today. Want to see?" :scared1:

[kaffinito]

Tell him that he was such a good boy that Santa must have given him extra gifts. You can even fake a note from Santa and be creative.

Dear Johnny
Thank you for asking for only 2 gifts. I like children who are not greedy. Because you have been very good this year and because you are not greedy I am giving you a few extra gifts.
yours,
Santa Claus

That or let him have two gifts and you give him all the gifts. Be thankful that he only wants two gifts that cost under $1000 each. He could have asked for a real helicopter and a pony.:laughing:

That's awesome! that will work out perfectly - great idea - thanks mechurchlady!!!! :goodvibes :goodvibes

[kaffinito]

My son (13) attends a school with a specialized Asperger's program. He usually takes the bus, but I drove him this morning because I had to be out that way for an appointment. I walked him in and said hi to the teachers and aides. As I was leaving, a teenage boy stopped me. He said, "Hey! Guess what?" I said, "What?" He said, "Well, I remembered to put on pants today!" I said, "That's great! I'm proud of you!" He walked off smiling. I don't know if forgetting his pants is usually an issue for this kid, but I couldn't help but be amused by his pride.:)

:lmao: :rotfl: :lmao: :rotfl: :lmao: :rotfl: Too funny!

[DisDreaminMom]

Thank goodness we're not the only clothing challenged people out there. If it's too hard to put on, DS just doesn't bother. Sometimes I don't care, but it's 32 degrees here now and the administration at school is starting to look at me like I'm mean when DS comes in without a coat on. He just hates being hot, and coats are too much trouble. He'd go around naked if he could.

[DisDreaminMom]

Kaffinito, I think you should be really proud of your son for making such a clever policy about X-mas. That shows excellent logic and planning and means your kid can seal a deal. It might be strange now, but more power to him when he's got a job and needs to negotiate for something. Smart, smart, smart.

Did you see the experiment for intelligence where they put the kid alone in the room with candy and see if they can delay gratification? It's supposed to show how successful a kid will be as an adult. I think your son is showing the advanced form of that thought. (I'd rather pass up a bunch of crap that I don't want in exchange for the few things I really DO want).

[kaffinito]

Kaffinito, I think you should be really proud of your son for making such a clever policy about X-mas. That shows excellent logic and planning and means your kid can seal a deal. It might be strange now, but more power to him when he's got a job and needs to negotiate for something. Smart, smart, smart.

Did you see the experiment for intelligence where they put the kid alone in the room with candy and see if they can delay gratification? It's supposed to show how successful a kid will be as an adult. I think your son is showing the advanced form of that thought. (I'd rather pass up a bunch of crap that I don't want in exchange for the few things I really DO want).

Thanks! I wonder if he's just being cagey though. He is really smart though - he scares me sometimes! I'm going to have to see if I can find that experiment on the internet. I wonder if he could pass it? :goodvibes

[kaffinito]

Thank goodness we're not the only clothing challenged people out there. If it's too hard to put on, DS just doesn't bother. Sometimes I don't care, but it's 32 degrees here now and the administration at school is starting to look at me like I'm mean when DS comes in without a coat on. He just hates being hot, and coats are too much trouble. He'd go around naked if he could.

Mine too! Neither one of them wants to wear a coat. My youngest will if he thinks of it as part of a costume though. He wears strange looking coats, but at least he wears them! ;)

[BeckyScott]

Coat okay. No hat. No gloves.

We finally got him to wear gloves if they're the ones that have the removable ends. If you kwim. They are like mittens and gloves both, and you can flip the mitten part up and underneath are fingerless gloves. Before I found those, I was cutting the fingertips off the $1 knit gloves and he'd wear them until they started to unravel. Gloves must not cover fingertips.

[koolaidmoms]

My DS today wore a hat to school today. Of course it was a giant black cat hat with a tail, whiskers, green glass eyes and everything. Yesterday he wore a knitted bonnet and the day before a stocking cap with the long pointed top and tassel at the end. It is 28 degrees and snowing today. I so understand the no coat, no gloves and no hat unless it is part of the costume. :rotfl:

[Starr W.]

Coat okay. No hat. No gloves.

We finally got him to wear gloves if they're the ones that have the removable ends. If you kwim. They are like mittens and gloves both, and you can flip the mitten part up and underneath are fingerless gloves. Before I found those, I was cutting the fingertips off the $1 knit gloves and he'd wear them until they started to unravel. Gloves must not cover fingertips.

Your's doesn't like gloves either! Mine will put them on but doesn't want them touching his coat. So he pushes the sleaves up and holds his hands out funny.

As for the poster worried about schools and coats. You should have seen all the typical children at our Jr High this morning. My Aspie looked positively overdressed in his winter coat! Most just had hoodies on. It was a toasty 21 at 7:15 this morning.

[bookwormde]

OT Hoodies!! It is good to know that Aspiewear is getting so popular.

bookwormde

[eeyorethegreat]

Well I have 4 kids three of them are Aspie and let's just say that apple doesn't fall far from the tree... ;) We have had many interesting moments. Usually the funniest is when I am listening to my kids talk to each other- the things that they come up with! Anyway one thing I remember is when my several years ago my oldest was putting on his footed pJs. He had grown so that they were to short so of course constricted his toes. I was trying to comfort him saying that it was becasue he had grown and that we needed to get him some new Pjs. He of course did not want to give them up. I had a fix for that ! I went and got the scissors. And then I said "That's ok honey, if we cut your feet off they will fit!" Well I was focused on the PJs themselves so of course when I said feet I was only thinking of the PJ feet. He on the other hand, was focused on the feet attached to his body. He began to scream "No, don't cut the feet!!" And me, still focused on the pjs says "It's ok it will be quick and then you can wear the pjs and your toes won't hurt in them!" This didn't help pf course. Finally Dh stepped in and said "you do realize he thinks you are going to cut off his feet?" Ugh nope missed that one -couldn't figure out what he was so upset about. We ended up resolving the issue. And amazingly, he allowed me to cut the feet off...his pajammas!!:laughing:

The strangest call from school well there have been a few but I remember when the menu changed for lunch. My son was in a panic because it wasn't what it was supposed to be and he couldn't possibly eat what they were serving. It wasn't just my child in a panic but so was the teacher! She offered to run to the local country store and buy him a hot dog!

BTW there is a great message board here for Aspie families http://www.udel.edu/bkirby/asperger/

[bec_oakley]

And tags, does anybody else have to cut all the tags off the clothes (ESP underwear)??

The pyjama feet story is just too funny :)

Luckily it never gets cold enough to wear coats here, I don't know what I'd do. This morning I said to DS "It's cold today, do you want your jacket?"
"No mum".
Again as we were walking out the door "Are you sure you don't want your jacket, it's cold out ..."
"NO mum!"
Cut to outside the classroom "Mum I'm cooooold!"
"Well why didn't you wear your jacket, I told you it was cold!"
He looked at me like I was stupid and said "Because I didn't know it was going to be cold!"
What the ...?? :confused3

[bec_oakley]

A quick question ...

Why is it that the school spends the entire year talking about everything my son CAN'T do ... until the one hour when we meet to talk about how much aide time he's going to get :)

Suddenly it's all about everything he CAN do and how little assistance he needs and how most kids have the same issues in one way or another and if we just give it enough time he's going to 'get better'. Which is a lovely sentiment and I'm sure they mean it the right way but hey, it wouldn't hurt to have that kind of attitude the whole year round you know? :thumbsup2

[kaffinito]

And tags, does anybody else have to cut all the tags off the clothes (ESP underwear)??

The pyjama feet story is just too funny :)

Luckily it never gets cold enough to wear coats here, I don't know what I'd do. This morning I said to DS "It's cold today, do you want your jacket?"
"No mum".
Again as we were walking out the door "Are you sure you don't want your jacket, it's cold out ..."
"NO mum!"
Cut to outside the classroom "Mum I'm cooooold!"
"Well why didn't you wear your jacket, I told you it was cold!"
He looked at me like I was stupid and said "Because I didn't know it was going to be cold!"
What the ...?? :confused3

Yep! I've got one of those too. He's 16 now and that part hasn't gotten any better.... :)

A quick question ...

Why is it that the school spends the entire year talking about everything my son CAN'T do ... until the one hour when we meet to talk about how much aide time he's going to get :)

Suddenly it's all about everything he CAN do and how little assistance he needs and how most kids have the same issues in one way or another and if we just give it enough time he's going to 'get better'. Which is a lovely sentiment and I'm sure they mean it the right way but hey, it wouldn't hurt to have that kind of attitude the whole year round you know? :thumbsup2

I totally agree with you on that one! ;)

[kaffinito]

The strangest call from school well there have been a few but I remember when the menu changed for lunch. My son was in a panic because it wasn't what it was supposed to be and he couldn't possibly eat what they were serving. It wasn't just my child in a panic but so was the teacher! She offered to run to the local country store and buy him a hot dog!

BTW there is a great message board here for Aspie families http://www.udel.edu/bkirby/asperger/

I got one of those phone calls to. Now my youngest wants me to read him the school lunch schedule so he knows what he's supposed to eat each week. :lmao:

[koolaidmoms]

Finally Dh stepped in and said "you do realize he thinks you are going to cut off his feet?" Ugh nope missed that one -couldn't figure out what he was so upset about.

Made me laugh until I cried! I so understand. Son is newly diagnosed so this is a whole new realm for us. There are others like him!

My son had a sliver in the bottom of his foot this summer. About 2" long that needed to come out. It was already, just needed to be pulled out. After wrestling with him for almost 10 minutes to just let me look at it DP came in.

DP: "Okay. Here come the big guns!"

Son: "AHHHH! :scared1: Your going to shoot me! Why are you going to shoot me? Where's the gun?"

When we finished laughing and explaining to him that he was safe. The sliver came out easily.

[sdarwkcabemanmy]

DS gets slivers from time to time from the deck in the backyard and I would rather wrestle a wet, greased elephant than try and get a sliver ou t of his foot.:upsidedow

[DisDreaminMom]

I just love these posts! I think if you'd ask my son, he would tell you that he'd rather have a five inch piece of wood impaled forever in his hand than have me pull it out with a tweezer. I have left large chunks of wood in his hand (he likes to run his hand on any kind of fence or railing, so I pray for metal and not natural wood- doesn't he get that it might give him a splinter?) because I didn't want to have to fight a kid almost as big as me that clearly wasn't as bothered by it as I was.

I have had people look at me like I am so mean, when I am only trying to follow DS's rules.

And does anyone notice that we can all name off our Aspie's "Rules". I can name some of our household rules;
1) No tags.
2) No scratchy clothes; nothing other than silky or cotton material.
3) No zippers or buttons.
4) No loud noises (unless DS makes them, and the louder the better).
5) No sitting too close to him, unless he choses to sit on top of you first.
6) No dogs can approach him, unless he choses to sit on top of them first.
7) No food eaten on anything other than the table unless it's on his tray with the picture facing him.
8) No kids can touch him, unless he choses to sit on top of them first.
9) No baths/showers unless he desperately wants one and you're too tired to help.
10) He lives in Paris, and will permanently move there when he turns 30. He will have 7 cats and 12 dogs. His house will have 23 stories but only eight rooms, and every room has a ceiling fan. He will have three pianos, and one room will be reserved for his sister when she visits him. When he is 59, he will be an astronaut (which is "really old). This is not funny.
11) He has to ask how old every adult he meets is, even if he asked them a few minutes ago.
12) He hates being HOT, thirsty, hungry, tired, annoyed, over-stimulated, under-stimulated, and when anyone watches any TV in the house on a channel he doesn't like.
13) He can steal his sister's toys but she can't touch his or he will die.
12) The best rule is "Just when you think you remember all the rules, they will change. There will be a test".

[BeckyScott]

Additional rules: ;)

Every day for lunch there will be one hot dog, a small bag of chips, and two lemony wafer cookies in the lunchbox, along with a sports bottle of pear juice. On occasion, crackers can be substituted for the chips. Do not attempt to use any other flavor of juice, especially not one that is the same color as pear juice, that is a trick and will not be tolerated.

Every day upon arrival at home, if food is not presented within 30 seconds, starvation will occur.

All drinks in cups must be accompanied by a bendie straw.

All soda cans must have the tab pulled completely off.

For dinner there are only 4 options: cheesy noodles (gf pasta, margarine, soy parmesan) preferably the spiral Tinky's noodles; cheese pizza (from scratch of course); chicken nuggets; nachos (just chips and faux cheese). All chicken must be coated. These are four seperate meals and any attempt to combine foods will be rejected. Any attempt to "sneak" pureed vegetables into the food will be spotted immediately. Any attempt to make a pork roast look like chicken will result in the roast being accidentally dropped to the waiting dog. The foods must not touch. I found plastic school lunch trays at a rummage sale last summer and he wants the blue one, thank you very much.

[koolaidmoms]

Our additional rules:

There must be three meals and two snacks daily. It does not matter if it is called brunch it only counts as one meal. If at 8:00 pm all meals have not be presented one will be expected then IMMEDIATELY at the top of DS's lungs.

A declaration before every meal must be made by DS that he does not like what we are having even if he has eaten it 20 times before. It can be all ingredients he likes, rice, chicken and cheese but it is in casserole form and must not be liked.

If he is in a place where he must be quiet and sit still, he will not. If he is in a place where he can run and scream, he will sit on the bench and read a book.

All mistakes must be immediately corrected. When you are speaking you must be extremely accurate or the conversation will come to a complete stop to explain your inaccuracy.

Got to love them! :)

[happily single]

Hum, funny stories? No. But the former school has called protectice services on me a few times. Ds told then that my husband punched him 5 YEARS AGO. And the teacher still saw the bruise. So after an interrogation by protective services and an exam by the dr the school was not so kindly advised it is a cafe au lait spot. You couldn't possibly still be bruised after 5 years:lmao:

But my dd did tell the preschool that I stuck ds in the oven once. I was cooking on an old electric stove with the coils and ds put his hand on the burner while I was taking something out of the oven. dd walked in as it all happened. I forgot to mention it to the teacher the next morning so they asked dd4 (at the time) who promptly informed them "mommy put Joe in the oven"

[DisDreaminMom]

Hey, it's the blue plate with the dogs on it (not the purple one). Also, the partitioned plates are good, but only the yellow one. Right there with you on the bendy straws. Newest one is that all foods that are served alone are to put in a yellow bowl.

He also eats with a sterling silver sugar "shell" spoon that has his name engraved on it. He liked one at my mother's house, so she got him a new one for his birthday last year (yes, he's 6). It's all he would eat with for a while (now forks are OK for things that require forks). I do have in my head a picture of my son as a fifty year old man sitting at a four star restaurant in Paris (remember, he's going to live there!) pushing aside the utensils from his table and pulling out his little nub of a sterling silver spoon to eat his haute cuisine.

I am having the best time reading these stories. You all have no idea how much better this makes me feel...:rotfl2:

[mechurchlady]

Every day upon arrival at home, if food is not presented within 30 seconds, starvation will occur.

All drinks in cups must be accompanied by a bendie straw.

OMG that is my mother to a tee except it is canned pop must be with a straw.She knew today I was not up to speed but screamed LAURIE over and over again. She had to have food now or her sugars would crash. Every morning it is mild jack cheese chunk, sourdough toast, creamy Skippy peanut butter (preferably honey roasted), and Taster's Choice instant coffee with two pink packets and 3 spoonsful of canned milk. Never mind that we could afford other stuff, that is her routine. Can I trade you my mom for two of your kids, please, lol.

[buzz for boys]

My aspie son was counting money in school this week the teacher was amazed at how good he was without any real assistance. She decided she would tell him how wonderful it was that he had obviously worked out how to count money.
Ds replied yeah miss i have to be good at it *** my mom robs all my money for take outs !!!

Teacher was crying when she phoned me she had asked him if mom ever gives him the money back and he said No she puts it back where she robbed it from !!!
( they all keep it safe in their money boxes)
Another one this week - he has been on form this week!!
After been in school for nearly 2 hours and still only managing to put his name on the paper he proudly went up to the teacher and exclaimed that he had been busy thinking that morning -
Oh yes said the teacher what about ???
Ds replied - Im a bit of a dreamer !!!!

[kaffinito]

Our rules for the oldest boy (16)

1) No tags.
2) No scratchy clothes; nothing other than cotton material.
3) All tops must be black, brown or dark olive green. All pants must be cotton twill. NOTHING is to be other than very soft.
4) No sudden noises.
5) No sitting too close to him or touching him. Period.
6) No food can touch except for casseroles. This child will eat anything including alligator and escargot. He will try all foods at least three times to see if he likes them.
7) All food must be eaten WITH utensils
8) He has to use the bathroom everywhere he goes to "check it out"
9) He has to entertain babies everywhere we go, even if the babies or mothers do not want to be entertained.
10) He hates sunlight.
11) Every light in the house must be turned OFF at night. Even if you are still sitting in the room. No lights. We call him the "Prince of Darkness"


Our rules for the youngest boy (8)

1) Tags are ok
2) Clothes must be scratchy and uncomfortable. The more uncomfortable the fabric, the better. Wool shirts are awesome!
3) No coats other than leather jackets in the winter. No hats, gloves or scarves are to be worn. Forget about sweatshirts.
4) It is perfectly ok to wear three or four unrelated items of clothing in different sizes or colors at the same time. This resulted in John wearing a kilt with a Purple rayon flowered dress shirt and a pair of Crocs one day last summer.
5) He will sit on top of you whenever or wherever possible. He will hold your hand tightly when going anywhere.
6) He will touch anyone anywhere he chooses.
7) All food must be sorted out into its proper category before consumption. This includes stir fry's and casseroles. He will sort it all out before eating each individual pile of food.
8) All food must be eaten WITHOUT utensils. Especially chicken noodle soup.
9) Every light in the house must be turned ON at night. At all times. No exceptions.

Please note the completely separate sets of rules. Another reason for my "Fun with Autism!" saying... :upsidedow

[kaffinito]

Ok now for MY rules. ;)

1) No tags on any clothing. Tag free underwear and bras have been a godsend for me!
2) Clothes must be cotton, soft linen or silk.
3) Clothes are allowed to be in colors other than Black, brown, beige or white now, but they must be in solid colors.
3b) Addendum to #3 Character t-shirts are ok at any time.
4) I must always order the same item at fast food restaurants. Ie. specific foods at Taco Bell, Burger King, etc
5) I cannot go anywhere unless I can pictures of what it looks like first. If there aren't enough photos on either Expedia or Trip Advisor, I won't be going there.
6) Only regular size M&M's can be eaten. Mini's are not acceptable. They are not "real." M&M's must be sorted according to color and then can only be eaten in groups of two. Three will not work. One is not good either. No mixing of colors is allowed except for orange and brown.

My DH adds to the list:
1) All of my sweatshirts and sweaters must be three sizes to big. If it fits me I won't wear it.
2) Unopened mail will be held in perpetuity until it biodegrades. I won't open mail unless I am really unsure as to what's in it.
3) Clothing unworn for a period of 6 months or more will be placed into a separate pile to be reevaluated in another 6 months, then sorted into another pile awaiting yet another reevaluation.

[DisDreaminMom]

We share the baby entertainment rule as well. Forgot about that one. And the sunlight thing is just amazing isn't it? I swear sometimes I think about going to the "hood" and buying a car that has been tinted in every window so DS won't scream every time a ray of light finds it's way though the windows of my car.

I wonder what life would be like with two completely normal kids? My sister has "normal"s and her son that is same age as mine is currently in a shoplifting "phase", so sometimes my troubles seem small. I swear her son will grow up and be in jail- he's such a little thug-very manipulative. My kid has rules and quirks, but he's just so damn sweet in his own funny way. Wouldn't trade him for the world....:dance3:

[bookwormde]

OT My DS9 Aspergers is a “baby nut” also; you might think someone gave him a million dollars (not that he would care about $) if a baby comes into the room. He just thinks they are way to cute and magical, not to mention miraculous.

One of his past teacher is expecting and of course he has to walk up to her put his hand on her belly and ask “how’s it going in there”.

bookwormde

[BeckyScott]

Oldest DS is obsessed with wearing military camoflage. Fortunately, it's popular right now, so he doesn't look too out of place.

He got mad when everyone else started wearing it, insisting that they were copying "his style".

Every day, he wears camo pants and a t-shirt. Or camo shorts and a t-shirt in the summer. About half of his t-shirts are khaki or camo and he will wear them over and over. He also accessorizes this with a camo hat, camo jacket (one BDU jacket, one hoodie, depending on how cold it is), a dog tag, and a camo backpack. Unfortunately, none of them are the same camo. I tried to explain to him that it didn't look right to mix camo, and he looked at me like I was an idiot. :sad2: After all, I was the one that bought it all, if I didn't want them mixed up I should have bought matching ones. I'll have to remember that for the future.

Thankfully he is big enough now to fit in a small men's pant. And thankfully, military surplus is cheap. I just have this flashback of (wasn't it?) Einstein that only owned black pants and white shirts... or Temple Grandin and those Western shirts...

[KirstenB]

Unfortunately our dd is so young, I don't have any stories to share yet. But I had to say how funny you guys are!! :lmao: :lmao: :lmao:

[DisDreaminMom]

Just wait, you will...:rolleyes1

[kaffinito]

We share the baby entertainment rule as well. Forgot about that one. And the sunlight thing is just amazing isn't it? I swear sometimes I think about going to the "hood" and buying a car that has been tinted in every window so DS won't scream every time a ray of light finds it's way though the windows of my car.

I wonder what life would be like with two completely normal kids? My sister has "normal"s and her son that is same age as mine is currently in a shoplifting "phase", so sometimes my troubles seem small. I swear her son will grow up and be in jail- he's such a little thug-very manipulative. My kid has rules and quirks, but he's just so damn sweet in his own funny way. Wouldn't trade him for the world....:dance3:

I don't want "normal" kids. My oldest is a teenager, but not a typical teenager. I can leave him alone and not have to worry about wild parties or him bringing girls home. I've seen those normal kids, and their parents seem to have a lot of trouble with them when they become teens!

And the sunlight thing - LOL!!!

[BeckyScott]

There are advantages to kids that only see things as black-and-white. They make decisions based off of their knowledge and not peer pressure.

A couple of weeks ago my son was at a friend's house, and there was an older child there, a teenager DS says. The teenager decided it would be fun to play the choking game. Seriously.

DS told him he was an ____ (insert cuss word he shouldn't be using but was an appropriate definition), immediately called us to come pick him up, and told us what happened.

It was the first time that I know of where DS had someone else try to use peer pressure to do something really stupid. And he did exactly what he should have done. Because it's a black-and-white issue for him, that's bad and no matter what anyone says he won't change his mind.

[kaffinito]

There are advantages to kids that only see things as black-and-white. They make decisions based off of their knowledge and not peer pressure.

A couple of weeks ago my son was at a friend's house, and there was an older child there, a teenager DS says. The teenager decided it would be fun to play the choking game. Seriously.

DS told him he was an ____ (insert cuss word he shouldn't be using but was an appropriate definition), immediately called us to come pick him up, and told us what happened.

It was the first time that I know of where DS had someone else try to use peer pressure to do something really stupid. And he did exactly what he should have done. Because it's a black-and-white issue for him, that's bad and no matter what anyone says he won't change his mind.

Bravo for him! That's great that he won't give in to peer pressure! :goodvibes

[DisDreaminMom]

Wow, that's incredible! Good for your son! When I lived in FL, even the 4th graders at my DD's magnet school got caught playing it, and it totally freaked everyone out. I think one kid had to be hospitalized, though even that is very lucky. I think you should be super proud of your kid.

Happy Turkey Day, everyone.

[Dawson'sMom]

Hi everyone! I am so glad that I found this thread! I have a DS9 with AS. This is great therpy for me! I just got to tell you about Thanksgiving w/ my Mom. Everyone was there and my DN3 and DS9 were being overly active. My Mom told them to quit acting like wild indians. DS9 stated that he was an indian that he was a boy.

[irish dancer]

I just love reading all these stories, I see my DS8 in so many of them. Well I got an unnecessary phone call from school earlier.

Teacher: "Hi, I'm wondering if you can help me figure out your son today"

Me: "Okaayyy.....what's up"

Teacher: "Well, he is acting so tired. He is putting his head on his desk, he didn't want to go to the library to look at the Germany map (studying Christmas around the world) and he was even line leader, etc"

Me: "Well, he was fine when I dropped him off. He was very excited and played out in the snow while waiting for the bus (that didn't come)"

Teacher: "He says he got up at 4:30am"

Me: "Yes, he was up at 4am (we're having sleep problems) but I put him back to bed"

Teacher: "Did he go back to sleep?"

Me: "I don't know, I did"

Teacher: "Well, OK I thought I'd check if something was up. Maybe he's getting sick"

:confused3 :confused3

Did that really require a phone call home? Probably not. He is most likely sleep deprived but what am I supposed to do? I can't make him sleep. I can't imagine he's the first kid she's encountered that was tired at school.

[BeckyScott]

Teacher: "Did he go back to sleep?"

Me: "I don't know, I did"


:rotfl2: :lmao: :lmao:

Been there!

Once Justin got old enough, where he was happy watching tv when he did the middle-of-the-night wake-ups-- he won't go to sleep without the tv on anyway-- once he was happy watching tv and not getting out of bed, I was outta there. I remember when he was about 18 months, he was only sleeping maybe 4-5 hours, and not all at once, and one of us had to be up with him. It was worse than a newborn. Now he just watches tv, and I go back to bed.

[koolaidmoms]

My son reads instead of sleeping. He will be sitting in bed at 11 pm - midnight reading. I go to sleep. He falls asleep with his books surrounding him. Not stuffed animals, books. When he wakes up that's what he does read anything and everything. Once he got in trouble and we were going to take his books away for the evening. He looked up at us and said, "But, I was going to read the Bible tonight." :lmao: What was I supposed to do. I let him keep the Bible.

I am glad to know mine is not the only non-sleeper. :)

[DisDreaminMom]

OMG! Mine will stay up all night if I let him! He was the most awful sleeper as a baby and I finally let him have a TV in his room so I could get some sleep when he was 4. Now that he's 6, he is only allowed to watch movies all night on weekends. He lives for movie night.

He also does not like to read books. He reads maps all evening or looks at a globe.

We have had the tired-at-school call from the teacher. Maybe she's just boring?:rotfl:

[sdarwkcabemanmy]

This thread is cracking me up.:lmao:

7) All food must be eaten WITH utensils
That is a rule around here that we TRY to make DS stick to. He's a sensory-seeker, so he thinks he HAS to have his hands in everything because it feels good. But then he gets upset because his hands/arms get all messy, sticky, etc.
"Well if you'd use a fork/spoon, you wouldn't be all sticky now would you?"

DS also LOVES the water. Every time we go to the park (which is right next to the pool, thank god for the fence!) he asks if we can go swimmng now. I tell him it's too dang cold, but he insists it would still be nice to go swimming. I can't drag him out of the pool in the summer.:rotfl:

My DH adds to the list:
1) All of my sweatshirts and sweaters must be three sizes to big. If it fits me I won't wear it.
2) Unopened mail will be held in perpetuity until it biodegrades. I won't open mail unless I am really unsure as to what's in it.
3) Clothing unworn for a period of 6 months or more will be placed into a separate pile to be reevaluated in another 6 months, then sorted into another pile awaiting yet another reevaluation

Hey wait a minute..is this YOUR DH we're talking about or mine?:rotfl:

[BeckyScott]

Here's a dilemma for ya, especially for those with younger kids.

It seems to be sort of a spectrum thing, that books are for information and not entertainment. In other words, fiction is useless. We have strictly a non-fiction household. Justin has a children's dictionary he has dragged around for the past five years, taken it everywhere, no longer has a cover he's pretty much memorized it... we go to the library and the kids will check out science books, books about aliens and UFO's, books about the planets, books about robots... but never ever a story book.

Oldest DS is now starting to write book reports. (not to be confused with the daily reading log) The teacher has specified they are to be *fiction* chapter books. Whoa Nellie, do what? Not only does DS not want to read those, we don't even own any, I gave up on that whole thing years ago. So far we've managed to pull it off by writing on the UFO and alien books, while technically they're non-fiction as designated by the Dewey Decimal System, they are about UFO's and depending on who you ask that could be considered fiction.

I have a feeling this won't be the only time he's asked to do something for school that just does not fit in his view of the world. Oldest DS is in process of being tested for several things, including Aspie, and if that pulls through I can maybe get something in his IEP to accomodate it-- I don't really see that there's too much difference as long as he's reading something-- but this is pretty typical of how the whole school year has gone.

[koolaidmoms]

Here's a dilemma for ya, especially for those with younger kids.

It seems to be sort of a spectrum thing, that books are for information and not entertainment. In other words, fiction is useless. We have strictly a non-fiction household. Justin has a children's dictionary he has dragged around for the past five years, taken it everywhere, no longer has a cover he's pretty much memorized it... we go to the library and the kids will check out science books, books about aliens and UFO's, books about the planets, books about robots... but never ever a story book.


Will he read a fiction book about something factual? My son went through a phase where he would only read books as long as they contained enough facts to entertain him but could be fictional. He went through a Magic Treehouse phase which was good because they had the non-fiction guides to go with them (read the book then you get to read the guide). He went through an historical fiction phase (what could have happened if the other person had won in presidential races). He is starting to move on though. He is reading the A to Z Mysteries and Charlotte's Web now. It is hard as he is only 5 and finding things that are appropriate are tough. He could read much more difficult material but I am happy he's reading fiction of some sort.

I know about the dictionary! My son has been through 2 Scholastic Dictionaries so far (he sleeps with them). We used to say we were going to take away the dictionary for making poor choices. :rotfl:

[bookwormde]

Yes all my son’s teacher’s and IEP team know that “social fiction” is not going to work and his academic curriculum has been modified to reflect this. Technical fiction is fine but as said has to have lots of facts that are “correct” or be futuristic enough or other worldly (pokemon etc.).

Come to think of it I think the last true fiction book I read was Poseidon Adventure (in the 80s), and that was neat because of the perspective inversion and the technical challenges.

bookwormde

[DisDreaminMom]

Becki- I love the quote from the Grinch. It's my favorite line from the book and maybe my favorite quote of all time from a kid's book. Glad to know I'm not the only one who likes it.

I have stacks of cute kid's fiction books from DD (8). DS won't even crack one, unless it's a Disney movie book he's been enjoying lately. Funny how Fiction is boring, but my kid lives for movies. I think it's an interesting contrast. He never has enjoyed listening to a story, but will watch one. He does like listening to music.

This morning we were watching the news and DS had just gotten out of bed and was walking to the living room. On the news was a shot of a map of Yemen and surrounding areas. He's only 6 and barely reading- but he walks by and shouts-fully alert- "Look, it's Africa!!!". He can identify parts of land masses. I'm scared.

He also told the babysitter today that Egypt has "lots of angry people living there". Hmmm.... How'd he know?

Glad I started this thread. You all are great. Thanks so much...popcorn::

[buzz for boys]

Our school accomadate his very strict rules on reading material into every aspect of school life when he was learning the alphabet they adapted the alphabet into star wars characters - it tooks us weeks to get a character for every letter that was alsao phonically correct !!! Now he loves sci fi so any book report we have to do is usually around a sci fi book and the school have even bought in books that he will like for the library. There was just no way he would read the proper reading books that was sent home from school !! Our school just want him to do a report now and to read a book everyday no longer bothered about what or how we acheive this.
HTH x x

[Pegasus928]

I've really enjoyed reading this thread for a number of reasons.
1. It's been good entertainment.
2. I've noticed so many things that are evident in my DS
3. I've gained an insight into how you guys deal with particular situations.

My son eats almost every meal with his fingers, wont drink anything fizzy, gets really mad at me and DW for drinking alcohol (though its ok if all the other 50 people at the party are doing it), always has the TV no matter what time of the night we go in his room - or how many times we turn it off, always sleeps with a fan on, isnt interested in fictional books - and the list goes on as you can imagine.

As for stories from school unfortunately most of ours are not really that funny. We had his special needs head tell us once that she was very surprised by his attitude in class once when he walked up to her and claimed that he had finished his work now and was going. She said it was bordering on rude and out of character for his condition as most of the other special needs kids where as quiet as mice. (a little more education needed on her part I think)
Then this year at my DD parents evening we met with her teacher - who is my sons old teacher and who never really "got" him. She started the meeting by proclaiming that she couldnt believe how different they were considering they were brother and sister. Erm - Yes. DD doesnt have aspergers. She is also the school SENCO believe it or not. (the teacher that is - not my daughter, although she would do a better job I reckon)

[DisDreaminMom]

Glad you joined us! Yesterday I had to pick up the kids right after school to make an appointment on the other side of town. It's easier to walk in the school and pick them up than wait in the car line, so I had the secretary call the teachers and get the kids to be the first ones down so we could leave fast. Apparently, DS heard this phone call and came down on his own- just packed up his stuff and left the class. The teacher sent another kid after him- "You can't leave yet! She didn't dismiss him!". My son looked at me like "You've got to be kidding?". I told the girl to tell the teacher it was OK- and that I had him. Poor little girl came back a minute later (DD wasn't down yet) and said that teacher was mad at him for leaving without permission. I was thinking "Does she realize that this may be the only time this year that this child is not making me late???"

Heck, I was just so darned proud of him for getting his coat, backpack and folder and not stopping to talk to ten people on his way down. According to teacher, when he's bored, he will just get up and start walking the halls, checking on his favorite teachers and hanging out. He's like a little terrier- happy and wandering.:love:

[kaffinito]

DisDreaminMom, sometimes I think the teachers just don't "get our kids at all. I got another call from Ben's school this week. Apparently his teachers are upset because he wanders around the classroom and reads when he's supposed to be doing class work. Now I can understand about the wandering, but I'm torn about the reading. He never read anything other than technical manuals and gardening books until the last few months, now he's reading fiction! I never thought he would ever read anything "unreal" and now he's in trouble as school because of it. :confused:

As an aside, does anyone else have trouble with their kids and the Christmas Tree?

The oldest wants to have everything organized on the tree according to size, type and color. The tree must be visually balanced or he starts getting upset.

The youngest takes every decoration and puts them on two or three branches. He says that way he can see them better without having to look at the whole tree. :santa:

[sdarwkcabemanmy]

Yesterday I had to pick up the kids right after school to make an appointment on the other side of town. It's easier to walk in the school and pick them up than wait in the car line

I wish this was an option for us...but it's not. :( You have to sit in the car line to pick up your kids..you can't get out unless you are strapping your child into their seat. And there are parents who STILL this late in the year don't understand which way you're supposed to line up for the car line. They line up in the WRONG DIRECTION and block half the road (which is barely 1 car wide). There are also parents who park on the non-existant shoulder and nearly block the road also which drives me crazy. I will be SO happy when they finally get this road fixed and widen it. But by then..it'll probably be the end of the school year and it won't matter any more. :faint:

[DisDreaminMom]

Yep, just the other morning I was pulling up in the drop off lane, that is an obvious one way, since you would have to drive across traffic to get to it from the other side of the (busy) street. I look down to check what gear the car was in, start to pull forward, since I was the top of the line, and there is a man parked head on right on my bumper! I almost hit him but for a few inches. What the??????

About the Christmas tree thing, a couple of years ago, I had a stunning tree up in the house. DS rearranged that stupid thing every day and did the "all the ornaments on one branch" thing. I was not amused. I just gave up. I guess the tree is for the kids, anyway....

Hey, have any of you dealt with constant hugging? My son ran up to a complete stranger (one of the parents picking up a kid from the after school program) and gave her a huge hug, then took a step back and said "Who are you?" She looked like a nice person, but this is over the top.

I see him hugging teachers all the time, and I hug him (we like hugs!), but when do I start telling him to stop? Just last month, my mother called me to tell me what a sweet child he was for thanking and hugging her neighbor when he took us to the tallest building downtown so DS could see the inside. That's fine when he's 6, but he's a big kid already, and I'm not sure people will want to be hugging a 6'5" linebacker-looking teenager...

For those of you who like hugs:grouphug:

[DisDreaminMom]

I almost forgot, today I was at work (I work at the Disney Store) and there was a Special Ed field trip to the mall so the kids could buy Christmas presents for their families. I know sometimes I do the "woe is me" thing, but I sure did count my blessings with every kid that came in. My DS's most complex problem would be a huge accomplishment for some of the kids I helped today. I must say they were the most polite and orderly children in the store all day. So chin up, moms. Somewhere there is a map that must be read, a fan that must be examined, a room that is out of order, or a schedule that must be kept- and our kids are the only hope...:cheer2:

[irish dancer]

DisDreamnMom - my DS8 is a HUGE hugger. They actually addressed it as one of his goals in his IEP! They started with requiring him to ask first before he gave anyone a hug. It took a long time but he finally mastered it. Now they've got him down to a limit of 2 hugs a day. When he asks, the teacher will remind him he only has 2 and he usually waits. He gets unlimited hugs at home.

Does anyone else have an issue with their child inviting people over all the time? I guess DS has invited his teachers and therapists from school over for dinner and along with us on vacations all of the time. DD7 told me this summer that while she and DS were riding bikes one day they met some kids down the block and DS invited them for a sleepover :eek: . He had never met these children before!

I guess the biggest problem and what scares me the most is that he just has no concept of strangers. They've done Stranger Danger type things in school and he just doesn't get it at all.

[mechurchlady]

Irish Dancer can I borrow your son for a day or too as I need some hugs. At least he is hugging instead of running from strangers. I see too many kids online who have no concept of stranger danger. I love reading this thread as it is nice to hear this stories and they make me thankful my mom is not that bad.

[DisDreaminMom]

Sorry to be a downer, but this is why I worry about the no stranger danger thing. My mother's sister (in her 60's now) is an Aspie. Of course, she was never helped, lived in poverty all her life (by choice, because the family had money but they chose to live on welfare and church handouts and reject help from family-we're talking no plumbing here, folks), married a horribly manipulative man, had 11 kids (yes, 11). A few of her kids are Aspie, too, and one is a therapist who concentrates on Aspergers because of how she saw their mother live.

Anyway, the youngest child was a beautiful girl, an award winning long distance runner, and very most likely an Aspie (certainly seemed to me during the times I met her). This girl never met a stranger and was very naive. It also didn't help that the family was in the Mormon church, and the kids were all made to get converts for a while (you know, the bike and button down crowd, as I call it). My cousin was 20 and living with her older brother in IN when she disappeared a couple of years ago. They never found her body. Supposedly they have a suspect in custody now, or are working on an indictment, but they won't release the name.

Long, heartbreaking story short- my kids have been drilled since babyhood not to talk to other people they don't know unless it's someone with a police or firefighter uniform on OR someone who "Looks like Mom" (supposedly the safest person to tell when lost in a public place- a sympathetic woman). I even have stopped several "men in uniform" to show my kids what real uniforms look like. I told them flat out that there are mean people who will "put you in a box and not let you out. Unless Mommy and Daddy tell you it's OK, don't talk to anyone you don't know and if you become uncomfortable, then go away no matter what anyone says".

That being said, I see my son gearing up to do the same thing as yours, and I am so grateful we live on a farm with no road access. I would be a nervous wreck in a subdivision. My sister's children are the same age as mine (6 & 8) and they are let run lose in the neighborhood, half the time she doesn't know where they are.

My son has no real "come over and play" friends. We get him together with some other kids every once in a while, but school seems to be enough for him and I wouldn't let him go on a sleepover unless it's with our friends because the mom used to be a special ed teacher and I trust her.

Any suggestions on the stranger thing? My daughter is my son's guard right now- she's the one I trust in these situations. But she won't always be with him...

He's so good at walking up to complete strangers and having a complex conversation but put him in a room with a few kids his age and he's a mess!

[Pegasus928]

That is a sad story, and a reminder to all that the society we live in today is not the sort of place where kids can have trust towards strangers. Both our children have a mobile phone each, and we have told them that if for some reason we get seperated, when out shopping for example, then they call us straight away rather than tug on the nearest persons coat and ask for help.

When we moved into our new home a few years ago everyone in our street knew who we were within a day of being there thanks to DS. He has never had an issue going up to people - old and young alike - and making friends. Most of our new neighbours found it funny when we went to introduce ourselves (yes we already know your name, job, next holiday, infectious diseases, allergic reactions - you get the picture).
The thing that I normally get a bit upset about though is that DS is more than happy to approach any new kid in the street and try to make friends, but unfortunaltey there's nothing as cruel as kids and they are normally pretty quick to dismiss him as someone they would rather not know. It's heartbreaking sometimes as he is so desperate to have new friends, and even though they have said they are not interested, in not a very nice way on most occassions, he still keeps on going back and trying.
As for the hugging DS doesnt do it at school or in public, but he is very loving and affectionate around family. He likes nothing more than to lay on the settee and have his back tickled. We dont know where this comes from but it is certainly one of 'his things'.

[BeckyScott]

Oldest DS used to be really bad about answering the door but not telling us. :scared1:

I remember once I was in the bathroom, and I came out and the Tool Man was standing in our living room. DH was a mechanic and this is the Tool Man in the big truck. The Tool Man felt a bit awkward being let into the house by a child, so he stayed right by the door. But DS just went back to his computer game and left him there and didn't come get me.

Fortunately, it really was the tool man, and I knew him. DS got quite a lecture. And he said, of course, that the tool man was wearing the tool shirt and driving the tool truck, so he wasn't a stranger. Ugh! I know he isn't, but #1 tell me when someone's knocking please (gee, at least I was dressed when I walked into the room!) and #2 he doesn't need to be making the call on who's a stranger and who isn't.

I also remember once there were salespeople at our door, or maybe religious people, and they had a little girl with them, and DS invited her in to play. I said no no no, and he told me that "bad people" don't have little kids with them. I see his logic, but still... no no no.

I've finally gotten him to the point that if someone knocks at the door and I don't hear it, he just starts yelling from where he is (usually at the Wii) that someone is at the door and will continue yelling until I go answer it. The problem is that he often talks to the tv when he's playing, so I don't pay too much attention when I hear him, and then our friends end up on the porch for five minutes freezing.

[Starr W.]

Oldest DS used to be really bad about answering the door but not telling us. :scared1:

I remember once I was in the bathroom, and I came out and the Tool Man was standing in our living room. DH was a mechanic and this is the Tool Man in the big truck. The Tool Man felt a bit awkward being let into the house by a child, so he stayed right by the door. But DS just went back to his computer game and left him there and didn't come get me.

Fortunately, it really was the tool man, and I knew him. DS got quite a lecture. And he said, of course, that the tool man was wearing the tool shirt and driving the tool truck, so he wasn't a stranger. Ugh! I know he isn't, but #1 tell me when someone's knocking please (gee, at least I was dressed when I walked into the room!) and #2 he doesn't need to be making the call on who's a stranger and who isn't.

I also remember once there were salespeople at our door, or maybe religious people, and they had a little girl with them, and DS invited her in to play. I said no no no, and he told me that "bad people" don't have little kids with them. I see his logic, but still... no no no.

I've finally gotten him to the point that if someone knocks at the door and I don't hear it, he just starts yelling from where he is (usually at the Wii) that someone is at the door and will continue yelling until I go answer it. The problem is that he often talks to the tv when he's playing, so I don't pay too much attention when I hear him, and then our friends end up on the porch for five minutes freezing.

Mine doesn't answer the door. Even if it's when we are expecting someone and he knows it, he won't(unless DH yells at him, "it's only your Aunt, Gram etc.)

[kaffinito]

My oldest was thirteen before he figured out what a stranger was. The youngest is more cautious - he won't talk to anyone without knowing that they are "safe". It helps that he is also has an anxiety disorder and that he's afraid of being lost or talking to strangers.

John knows to go to a CM at WDW if lost so he can get help. I also write my phone number on his chest so they can call me if he does get lost. I don't worry too much about that either - if he can't find me he runs around screaming his head off so loudly that I never have to worry about losing him in a crowd!!

I also don't worry about him going out to play, he will stick around the house and will come in to check on me every few minutes. Most of the time I'm outside with him or doing gardening so I can keep an eye on him.

I wish I could give you some constructive advice - but unfortunately sometimes you just have to wait before they make the stranger/danger connection. The oldest had to be watched like a hawk until he got bigger and figured things out, but the youngest is naturally afraid of most people.

[koolaidmoms]

The stranger/danger thing is a tough thing to teach. My children see me speaking with "strangers" every day. I talk to the lady in line at the grocery store, the man at line at the bank or the child sitting on the sidewalk outside. When my kids ask me how I know them I honestly answer, "I don't." "Well, then why are you talking to them?" That is a tough one. When someone says hello to them or goodbye after we speak to them at a store or a bank we tell the children to say hello or goodbye. DS always questions this. "Why do you want me to talk to a stranger?"

He was a hugger for a long time but has completely stopped. He ran up to a stranger at a water park when he was 3 and climbed up in his lap!:scared1: I couldn't drag him away he was kicking and screaming.

Now he has stopped hugging all together. I miss the hugs. I still hug him but he just stands there and does nothing. I would love a hug again or to hear him say "I love you" without prompting. :sad1:

[BeckyScott]

Last summer at Disney, we took Justin on Test Track. The end part was waaay to fast for him. But when we were in line, the people next to us, it was a father and teenage daughter, in the singles line, and the father ended up in the back seat with Justin and I, Justin in the middle for safety. He was telling Justin what a fun ride it is, etc, and he figured out what was going on with us.

About halfway thru the ride, I noticed that Justin had put his hand on this guy's leg- like he was on a date- :lmao: the guy was really nice and didn't say anything. Then when we got home I was looking at our PhotoPass pictures and there it is, captured in film, the three of us in the backseat with Justin's hand squeezing this guy's leg.

Last year one day the teacher was telling me... it was Justin's turn to be the Class Leader for the day. He and the teacher were leading the line. The teacher put her hand around his shoulder to walk. In response, he put his arm around her, but because of the height difference, it ended up that his hand was planted right on her rear end. ;) ;) It took her a few minutes to figure out what was going on, then she decided maybe they should hold hands instead.

On a more serious note, I've had this discussion in IEP meetings before. DS questioning the teacher. The school firmly believes that when a teacher tells him to do something, he should do it, no questions asked. I tried to explain to them that I wasn't raising him that way. That yes, he should follow the instructions of the teacher. But that I didn't want him to blindly follow what an adult tells him to do-- even if it's an adult that he knows. There have been way too many creepy stories, and yes even with teachers, I don't want him to believe that he should automatically do anything an adult tells him to do. The problem is getting him to see the difference between a reasonable request and something bad- especially since for a while he had to have assistance in the bathroom, etc, so the rules get complicated. The people at the IEP meetings of course don't understand what I'm trying to say, because they only see one side of it.

[C&G'sMama]

Today's (Christmas Day) story. DS received "The Bees" movie for Christmas. He started watching it and said this is not a "Bee" movie, it's fiction. Apparently he was expecting a documentary on Bees (which he was looking forward to). He was okay with the fiction movie but maybe next year we go with documentaries. :goodvibes

[Eeyores Butterfly]

Yep, just the other morning I was pulling up in the drop off lane, that is an obvious one way, since you would have to drive across traffic to get to it from the other side of the (busy) street. I look down to check what gear the car was in, start to pull forward, since I was the top of the line, and there is a man parked head on right on my bumper! I almost hit him but for a few inches. What the??????

About the Christmas tree thing, a couple of years ago, I had a stunning tree up in the house. DS rearranged that stupid thing every day and did the "all the ornaments on one branch" thing. I was not amused. I just gave up. I guess the tree is for the kids, anyway....

Hey, have any of you dealt with constant hugging? My son ran up to a complete stranger (one of the parents picking up a kid from the after school program) and gave her a huge hug, then took a step back and said "Who are you?" She looked like a nice person, but this is over the top.

I see him hugging teachers all the time, and I hug him (we like hugs!), but when do I start telling him to stop? Just last month, my mother called me to tell me what a sweet child he was for thanking and hugging her neighbor when he took us to the tallest building downtown so DS could see the inside. That's fine when he's 6, but he's a big kid already, and I'm not sure people will want to be hugging a 6'5" linebacker-looking teenager...

For those of you who like hugs:grouphug:

This is very common for kids with special needs, not just ASD. Since it's a concern, bring it up at the next IEP meeting. I was with seventh and fourth grade this past semester and we do not allow them to hug us. Some people accuse of us being cruel, but we do this because like your son, they do not understand when it is socially appropriate and when it is not. It is not okay for a male high school teacher to hug a female student or vice versa. Part of my job as a special ed teacher is to teach my students how to operate in the real world so that they have as many opportunities open to them as possible. Unfortunately, going up to a potential boss and hugging them, or hugging customers who come into your store is not going to get you a job.

I think you will find that most schools will automatically address this when he gets older. Most don't at that age because many neurotypical kids will hug the teachers/aides/etc. But since it is a concern, I would bring it up. Does he respond well to social stories? That might be another way to teach him when it is okay to hug and when it is not.