Dan, RoutemanDan - The Case of the Tag Fairies

[Bennet]

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The Truth About Tag Fairies?
There are no tag Fairies!
Read on and learn the truth
It has been here since 05-04-2002


The scene opens and we see a bottle of Dom Perignon 1993 and hear a woman’s playful giggles just as the cork is popped. “Oh Dan” she whispers.

“Oh Dan?” It is another voice, another female voice but tinny as if transmitted over two cans with a string between them. The voice is coming from a small digital camera and a face appears on the camera screen. “Oh Dan? Hope you are not busy. "M" needs to see you right away.”

“Right now Money Penny?” Dan asks, “Mom just stepped away and well… “

“Straight away Dan.”

“Right then,” Dan straps on his Rollex, “shant be but a moment Dear. Hold that thought. I’ll have EROS send a special flower, duty calls, I’ll be right back.”

He steps out of the Lodge and starts skiing down Blizzard Beach. Buxom lifeguards babes approach but as they get nearer Dan notices the skimpy Baywatch bathing suits are lime green. He ducks quickly and narrowly avoids flying Duct Tape.

[Insert high quality yet typical skiing chase scene here.]
Key points:
* Dan jumps off a cliff
* Looses the lime green tape babes as he flips over a Disney Bus
* Quips with guests as he slips along the boardwalk.
* Mingles with the crowd watching the close of the British Invasion and slips back stage with the band as they leave.

“Paul” sets down his bass and without the granny glasses we see it is klombar, “Good you could make it Dan hope you were not UP to any trouble.”

“Nothing I couldn’t handle – Kev.”

“Right then. We have a need for your special talents. You will be working in America. Typically you work with Felix, but they have assigned another field agent, cover is as a local policeman. You may need to work closely and under cover. The agent’s code name is JayPD.”

“No problem sir. We have met on another case.”

“Fine then down to the crisis briefing.”

Stay Tuned. Same RMD Time Same RMD channel

[DaveH]

LOL!!!:)

[Brisully]

HA!

[SonjaB]

Bennet, ROFLMBOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE IT!!!!!! :D :D :D

[CarolG]

:D :D :D LOL!!

[DaisyDebbie]

Oh Zurg you've done it again!!!!! :D I'm ROTFLMBO!

[Horizons16]

You are insane ;)

~Steve

[cotye]

:D :D

[glo]

wooohoooo
can't wait for the next installment...of my fave secret agent man!!!

[Dream]

The pollen....yes that must be it...the pollen....it has been awfully bad this Spring. I have heard it can affect one's psyche, causing extreme silliness and a high sense of fun!! Yes, that must be it!!! :D

[Kama89]

Someone's been bucket drinking again haven't they?? ;)

[Saffron]

Ahahahaha! That is so funny!! :D :D ROFLMBO!!! :D :D

I'm staying tuned, I can't wait! :D

[vickyBaby]

I LOVE IT ZURG!!!!

Can't wait for Scene 2.

[SplshMtn99]

ROTFLMAO! :D Really getting into that music too!

[Bennet]

Originally posted by Kama89
Someone's been bucket drinking again haven't they?? ;)

Well that or insane I liked that one.

Zurg commited physical fitnes today. - Call 911. full contact Lacrosse - Zurg needs pain killers! Kama - get me a bucket! Someone caool Ozzy and see if he has any vicodins left.

I may not be able to type for few days- Okay I know I couldn't type before. stay tuned for the next act tomorrow!

[dizneenut]

ROFLMBO!!

:D :D :D :D :D

[Kama89]

Oooh Vicodins.... my narcotic of choice. I have a few left over from my root canal, but I'm hoarding them. Kama dashes away quickly with her half dozen Vicodin, frantically looking for a place to hide them. http://www.stopstart.fsnet.co.uk/smilie/scared.gif

Where's Dream and her blender when you need her?? Oh DREAM?!



Call 911. full contact Lacrosse - Zurg needs pain killers! Kama .... That's what you get for spying on me earlier today. :D

[ead79]

:D :D :D

[Dream]

Tsk tsk tsk.....full contact lacrosse? And you expected to feel HOW?!? Well, ok...no lectures!:D Wrrrrrrrrr....Dream mixes up a batch of drinkee poos...good for whatever ails ya..even poor judgement!:D :D Kama...hide that vicodin well...even Zurg can't handle my drinkee poo AND vicodin! Dream walks to the center of the screen and hands zurgswife a tube of Ben Gay and ear plugs so she doesn't have to listen to Zurg WHINE!!!:D :D

[Bennet]

Originally posted by Dream
...vicodin!...

Yeah!!!

[buggin']

OMG...too funny...TOO FUNNY!

Staying tuned!

Buggin'
Amber

[Nikole]

Can't WAIT to see who the villain is! :D

And zurg...............*tossing you the bottle* here you go. Whole bottle from the other night at the ER. Enjoy

[Dream]

Dream snatches that bottle before it can get to Bennet! See Dream run to the edge of the screen and pitch it over the edge!! Now people let's remember how foolish it is to mix alcohol and medication! Shhhhh....Bennet is sleeping.

[Smee]

What do they have in the water on Planet Z ?! (do they even have water on Planet Z????) :eek:

[Bennet]

Originally posted by Smee
What do they have in the water on Planet Z ?! (do they even have water on Planet Z????) :eek:

Scotch!

[CathyCanada]

Well THAT it explains it, then!! :D
Waiting anxiously for part II.....
CC

[Bennet]

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Scene II
Instructions In “M”’s field office.
http://members.ams.chello.nl/j.eyk6/BondRohr.gif

We have followed Dan, RoutemanDan back stage at the UK. The person playing the part of Paul in the British Invasion turns out to be Klombar, RMD’s secret agent controller, the elusive “M.” We enter a large and very elaborate spy control center under the UK shops. All kinds of strange things are happening to dummies. (test dummies – not Dan & Kev.) No wonder there is no ride at UK, all this spy stuff takes up too much room.

Kev / “M” / Paul / Klombar pours a glass of light brown spirits from crystal decanter, presumably fine scotch whiskey. “Good of you to drop in Dan,” He hands Dan a glass, “75 year old single malt from my family’s own distillery.”

Dan has a sip. “I presume this means WillyJ has been about?”

“Yeah he drank all the good stuff, this is all that is left, not a drop of Nyquil in a thousand miles!”

“So you called, ME?” asks RDM

“Not at all Dan – Vicks is working overtime to restock the shelves.”

“Fine, then why was I called in? The wife and I had just ditched mom and were about to…”

“Come, Come, Dan - No need to go into details. Naturally, There is a threat to civilization, as we know it, or we wouldn’t have called for you. Are you prepared to risk you life?” “M” asks, knowing the answer.

“Of course.”

“Good. This looks like nothing you have ever face before. A maniacal megalomaniac threatens global domination by controlling a particular commodity market – probably involving rockets and or satellites in space.” “M” says in a serious tone.

“You don’t get out much do you Kev?”

“No not really, and call me ‘M”, why”

“ A maniacal megalomaniac threatens global domination by controlling a particular commodity market – probably involving rockets and or satellites in space sounds so much like every movie made about my exploits that one might think it a parody,” quips RMD with a wink to the camera.

“Really? - Will Ted Turner's Super Station be running a marathon of these movies?”

“I don’t know. ABC got a hold of the rights – They were going to run a big spy pictures show every week but it tanked like everything at ABC. I don’t know who has the rights now.”

“You think Eisner will take the heat for it?”

“Nope – he takes credit for micro managing anything that turns out good and fires the folks he micromanaged that were responsible for anything that turns out bad.”

“Nice work if you can get it.”

“No kidding Kev.. er.. Paul uh.. “M” – You were saying something about a megalomaniac looking to control the world before we digressed about Eisner?”

“That was a digression?”

“Yes,” RMD

“Oh right we talking about the other power hunger megalomaniac.”

“Right has to be stopped.”

“Esiner?”

“No the bad one”

“Isn’t that what I said?”

“No”

“What”

“Who is on first?” asks RMD

“This is a little hard to follow.” States Zurgswife.

“Yeah - You wouldn’t be padding this to stretch so the part with “Q” is and the cool spy toys is its own scene would you?” RMD asks, knowing the answer.

“Damn Right!” Bennet

Next Scene - Q and the cool spy tools!

[EROS]

Claudine is ready to work under RMD at a moment's notice:)

http://www.eonline.com/Features/Live/007/Babes/Images/derval.jpg

[CathyCanada]

:D

[SonjaB]

I am loving this!!!!!! :D :D :D

[zurgswife]

I got a walk on speaking part.....YIPPEEEEEEE:D :D

[klombar]

Most excellent!

Signed
Whatever my name is.

[CathyCanada]

z-wife, be sure you are getting royalties for this! :D
CC

[Smee]

ooooo.....oooo...I think I know who the "bad guy" is!!!!!!!....our own..................................
.............CathyCanada (the "webmaster") !:D :eek: :p (just kidding, CC!)
Corinne

[glo]

Can't wait til the next installment!!! :D

[Saffron]

Great job, Bennet!! :D :D :D :D

[Nikole]

ROTFL! :) You're too funny Bennet! :)

hmmm wondering if we have any "maniacal megalomaniac's" on the DIS

[DaisyDebbie]

LMBO!!!

I hope RMD gets to see this one day.

And I always knew Kev had multiple personalties :eek: ;)

[klombar]

I just cant wait to see the RMD babes!

[vickyBaby]

What a hoot Zurg. Can't wait to hear about the spy toys.

[DaisyDebbie]

Dude, you've already seen us at Foxwoods:D :D ;)

[Bennet]

Originally posted by klombar
I just cant wait to see the RMD babes!

Hello EROS! That would be your que.

[Bennet]

Originally posted by DaisyDebbie
I hope RMD gets to see this one day.
Some one has to write his trip reports. I figure these are better than the truth.

I walked around with Mom...
We ate at....

[EROS]

CECILE THOMSEN is ready for any available positions with RMD:) :) .........

http://www.eonline.com/Features/Live/007/Pics/Images/bondbabe.jpg

[EROS]

Of course, HONOR BLACKMAN would give anything to reprise her role as +++++ GALORE in RMD's debut;) ;) ;) ..........

http://www.eonline.com/Features/Live/007/Babes/Images/galore.jpg

[CarolG]

Anxiously waiting for the next chapter!!

Originally posted by klombar
Signed
Whatever my name is.

Are we having a little identity crisis here?:D

[Bennet]

(Scene II had too much dialog but they can’t all be action scenes. Zurgswife was not pleased, this was written before she shared her constructive criticism. The next few scenes are much better. I hope I don't have to fish down three or four pages to find this every time. I hope I have a scene a day ‘till RMD’s scheduled return.)
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Scene III: WHO IS Q?

At the close of the last scene, our heroes were in a large and very elaborate spy control center. All kinds of strange and violent things are happening to test dummies, so it looked a lot like the pre-show for Test Track, but we are under the UK.

“Let me sum up,” RMD says, “I was attacked by babes in lime green spandex in the opening scene. Bennet couldn’t figure out how to do the traditional silhouetted naked dancer opening sequence on a family board so you have the little graphic. Maybe EROS can find something but then we risk a few month triate about censorship so maybe not.

“In scene two it took forever to learn what everyone already knew when be heard my theme music: A maniacal megalomaniac threatens global domination by controlling a particular commodity market – probably involving rockets and or satellites in space.

"Right. Everyone caught up? Okay. Time for toys. "Where is Q, the much beloved senior statesman of the film series?”

“Bathroom” says M. (M will no longer be “M” the quotes were a pain - we will still occasionally go for cheap laughs beating the M / Kev / Paul / Klombar thing to death since it is playing well with the test audiance.)

“This a family board! We can’t show/talk about someone using the bathroom like that!” - RMD

“No. No. No. Dan, Q is standing next to the bathroom with his trusty Nikon CoolPix.” - M

“Oh, who’s getting their picture taken?” - Dan

“I think he is still stalking Regis Philbin, even though there is a restraining order, but it will have to wait. A maniacal megalomaniac threatens global domination by controlling a particular commodity market – probably involving rockets and or satellites in space." Mshout to Q, "Q can we interrupt?”

“Sure M! Oh, hello Dan!” - Dan

“Hi Dan.” - Dan

“Dan you can’t call Dan, Dan or nobody will know who is who. Call him Q” - M

“Who?” - Dan

“Q's on first.” - Dan

“OK I'll call him RMD.” - Dan

“No not you Dan the other Dan can’t call you, Dan. Dan he has to call you Q or we will all be confused. Got it?” – M

“Nope” – Dan

“Yeah” – Dan

“Ok Dan, Dan doesn’t get it so can you explain it – I’m getting nowhere here.” - M

“Right. Dan, you can call me Dan, but I can’t call you Dan, Soon Bennet will give up on this whole damn Dan thing and get on with the story.” – Dan

“OK Dan. Let's get down to spy toys. I still want to get a picture of Regis when he comes out of the can.” - Q

“Right Q what have you Got” – Dan

“I thought you could call me Dan, but I couldn’t call you Dan.” – Q

“No it is the other way around.” – Dan.

Q pulls out a Rocket Propelled Grenade (RPG) launcher and points it at the director’s chair, “That will quite enough! Thank you.”

“Point well taken Dan.. I mean Q!” – Bennet. “I promise! Relax.”

Q picks up a big sharpie pen from the table after setting down the RPG, carefully still pointed at your humble narrator. Q gives Bennet another dirty look and says, “Okay it is traditional in these things to have some heavy fire power in a writing implement.

In previous movies MontBlanc had a product placement deal but with the cutbacks around here, we are left with a fat sharpie from lost and found. On the plus side it is big so we can stuff in more fire power.” He points the pen in the same direction as the RPG, “Should I demonstrate?”

‘No need Q” – Dan, “Laser and explosives what type?”

“Yes. – C4. Are you sure you don’t need a demonstration?” - Q

“Yes, What else have you got?” - Dan

“A refillable mug from you last stay at All Star Music.” - Q

“Yeah, Yeah, Yeah” - Dan

“Hey that is my line.” M says putting his Paul outfit back on.

Groans from Dan, Q fidgets with the RPG.

“Anything else?” Dan asks trying to distract the irritated Q-manDan.

“Well stealthy communications devices are also standard issue. You double O types are so aggressively type A you never use them to call for help but here.” Q hands Dan a standard Motorola FSR radios (with sub codes.)

Dan gives it a dirty look.

“Listen you are in Disney World. Every other person down here has one of these things. Anything else would look suspicious.”

“OK” Dan looks dejected, like Santa put coal in his stocking.

“Now for your ride…” – Q

Dan perks up, like the before picture in EROS’ latest botanical photo.

“… we have outfitted a few special things for you. Your own vehicles for every “E” ticket ride in every park. Do try not to level the place double O we are just now seeing a recovery in tourist volume.” - Q

“Cool, Cool, Cool! I can’t wait how do they work?” – Dan

“Well when you get a Fast Pass we load the special ride vehicle for you return time. Hell some of these babies don’t even need a ride to deliver an E ticket experience…”

“Wait what if I don’t use Fast Pass? Like when there is no line on E-ticket night or Early Entry…”

“Hello Routman!?! Where have you been? No Fast Pass? Early Entry?!? E-nite?” Q turns and quietly asks M, “Can we have him drug tested?”

Turning Back to Dan, “The usual set of controls, guns, smoke ejector seats, turns into a submarine or personal rotor-craft. You MUST use Fast Pass. One Fast Pass per ticket, used for park entry, at time.

“Why are we bothering with all this M? Little green people, an attack from space by maniacal evil megalomaniac, Bennet is writing this, how much more obvious can it be?” Q blurtes out adding, “Smee – CathyCanada? Oh please!”

“Lets just get this thing done, maybe Dan can get back to the hotel or Ski Lodge or where ever he left Jen before Mom gets back. Here’s you first Fast Pass, I’ll go load the vehicle.” Q hands Dan a Fast Pass ticket and storms off. The ticket reads, “Buzz Lightyear’s Space Ranger Spin Return time 9:00am to 10:00am.”


Next up - Scene IV: Not so Fast Pass Q-man Dan

[kejoda]

LOL!

[vickyBaby]

Love it Bennett!!!

[SonjaB]

:D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D

[Patrick IL.]

:D I am enjoying this! :D

[Smee]

Bennet wrote ;
Q-manDan.

I love that line!!!
AND
I got mentioned in the "screenplay"!!!!
------do I get royalties????? ;)

[Saffron]

Bennet! The story keeps getting better and better! :D :D

[Kama89]

I sense another Dis classic in the making. :D

[EROS]

Great Writing, Bennet...............but I'm waiting for one of those famous "bedroom" scenes. You know, with tarantulas coming from the ceiling, or with cameras behind the curtain, or with females lubricating...... their weapons....... to assassinate RMD AFTER they mate.

As for the naked model opening sequence, forgeddddddddddddddabouuuuuuuut it:) :). I couldn't even get a pic posted here of a delectable young lady who was covered with fruit :D :D :D . Naked is NOT inclusionary on the DIS except for Naked Dising in the privacy of one's home;) ;) ;) ;) .........

[Bennet]

Originally posted by EROS
Great Writing, Bennet...............but I'm waiting for one of those famous "bedroom" scenes. You know, with tarantulas.........

Thanks EROS.

Hope you can wait until Thursday.

[Bennet]

Scene IV: Not so Fast Pass Q

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Q has loaded up RoutemanDan, a.k.a. Dan, with way cool spy toys, including a very special Space Ranger Spin vehicle.

Q sent Dan with a Fast Pass to Buzz Lightyear’s Space Ranger Spin. Q seemed to think that this was going to be a quick and easy case of inter planetary invasion. But is this a Bond parody or a Star Wars parody?

Our story continues:
RoutemanDan walks up to security, confident that with his Secret Agent Man status this would be a non-event. MGM, owner of the Bond franchise, and Disney aren’t all that close. Dan is strip-searched and otherwise miss-treated by security. If you have been to the Saturday night chat at the Dis you know this is nothing unusual for RMD.

Dan gets dresses, and walking a little funny heads down Main Street. He stops to have his picture taken, “Your picture will be ready in about an hour at the Town Square Exposition Hall. Just present this card. No obligation to buy. Goodbye Mr. Dan.” says the attractive young cast member photographer. Dan looked over her lanyard, or there about, but didn’t see any pins worth trading for, mostly just Aristocats.

Dan walks off, past a guy selling a little girl a balloon. He strolls to Tomorrowland. At Space Ranger Spin and presents his Fast Pass to the CM. Dan thinks she must be in the College Program and gives the new SRS costume the once over. More of a Buzz-look, white with green trim and a more tailored fit that appeals to Dan’s discriminating eye.

No one else here yet. Mornings are still the best times to ride, waste of a Fast Pass, Dan thinks as he boards the ride. The talk on the Dis was right; the SRS cars are showing a little wear. Dan chuckles at Q’s efficiency even his special vehicle looks a little ragged. The new costumes are a nice though he thinks checking out more co-eds at loading.

Dan sits down. He hears a little rip as the vehicle closes and wonders in the woman’s tight bodice just tore a little. More cat pins. “Focus on work Dan-o,” he tells himself. A family in polo shirts with some kind of matching embroidery boards just behind Dan. One of the kids has a balloon. Tourists Dan thinks - shirts were probably 50 bucks; the balloon five - poor guy is out $300 bucks for shirts they should have given him the balloon.

Dan has 276,300 points as he get ready to leaves the first room. A crack shot he could have easily maxed the score by now. But Dan is looking for something. If Q is right someone evil from sector 9 is lurking here. Dan sees an odd movement. The kid’s balloon is floating up towards the ride control security camera. Dad looks pissed. Odd - the Ripped bodice babe is walking along the track probably to get the balloon.

Mayhem breaks out. The kids have broken their laser cannons off the ride cars. Mon is getting up. The CM looks really pissed off. Dad shoots the balloon with his cannon and it blows up like the Hindenburg, taking the ride security camera with it. Hydrogen!

The ride stops. Mom is beside Dan ripping something beside the car. The kids are laying down cover file with what looks like phasers from Star Trek. The CM’s are drop stunned in place. Dad has an emergency exit open and the family is moving out. Mom has a piece of green tape in her hand and is pulling Dan free of the ride vehicle door just as the buzz saw target on the blue robot comes free. It cuts Dan’s ride vehicle in half narrowly missing Dan.

The family exits, Dan in tow, as the lights come on. Dad shuts and holds the door shut with the tape mom had. Dan can see CMs in Tomorrowland costumes on the floor bound and gagged with Green Duct and he starts to take a swing at Dad. The little girl who had the balloon drops him with a green stun blast from her phaser.

As he passes out, Dan hears commotion, someone call “All clear Zurg.” Dan realizes Q must have been right.

But was He?

Next - Scene V: The Evil Emperor

[glo]

more more more.....rotflmao :D

[vickyBaby]

Oh No!!! What will happen in the next sequence?

[Smee]

oooooooooooo....Scene IV is my favorite!!!
Now when I ride Buzz Lightyear, I'm going to be busy watching for "enemy agents":eek: ;)

[DaisyDebbie]

OMG! These are just getting better and better!

Bennett have you ever thought of writing professionally? I'd buy your books :)

[Nikole]

LMAO Bennet you kill me!

Although..... I am wondering how much Mrs Zurg will like that you have made her and her children evil villains!!!!!

[WillyJ]

A strap-on what???? :o :o :o

I think I need some Vicoden. . .

;)

:D

[Bennet]

Originally posted by DaisyDebbie
OMG! These are just getting better and better!
Bennett have you ever thought of writing professionally? I'd buy your books :)

No, but many people have said I need professional help. Is that the same thing?

[CarolG]

This is so much fun!:D

But I'm a little concerned about the evil use of lime green duct tape!

[Bennet]

Originally posted by Nikole
LMAO Bennet you kill me!

Although..... I am wondering how much Mrs Zurg will like that you have made her and her children evil villains!!!!!

As it says in my tag - you assume too much

[cotye]

LOL... Look forward to the next installment! :D

[glo]

waiting rather impatiently for the next exciting installment :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :D :D ;)

[oldkicker]

ROTFLOL!!! Great job, Bennet! :p

[Baboo]

Love 'em Bennet! These are a riot!

[Bennet]

Originally posted by CarolG
This is so much fun!:D

But I'm a little concerned about the evil use of lime green duct tape!

Be afraid. Be very afraid.

[Saffron]

:D :D

[yepod]

Have you been drinking from Snowwarks bucket?!?!

Waiting patiently (NOT) for scene V!

Can't believe someone hasn't flamed you for the ME blasphemy from scene II ROFLMBO;)

I'm truly sorry I will miss you on 10/27 (I thought you were a tried and true 10/31 fanatic, so I booked the 25th, cause I figured haloween night would be packed. If I'd only known:jester: ). Just hope I run into you during the week to k... I mean congratulate you personally for your fine literary talents (no I didn't say iliteratey!):D

[Bennet]

Originally posted by yepod
Have you been drinking from Snowwarks bucket?!?!

I have my own maragrita bucket!
Who is Snowwark and why are they after my bucket?
http://205.158.147.182/Zurgs/images/bucket.jpg

Can't believe someone hasn't flamed you for the ME blasphemy from scene II

Thanks. (not) Let me see if I get this right - I escape a flame fest so you point it out 5 pages later? Just in case someone missed the chance to singe my shorts.

searching for a post it note to be sure I mark yepod to 007's list of targets for licence to..

[Kama89]

But I'm a little concerned about the evil use of lime green duct tape! ....You and me both Carol. http://www.stopstart.fsnet.co.uk/smilie/confused2.gif

Bennet.... honey. What are we going to do with you?!? Lime Green duct tape is used only for good and noble deeds!!! This isn't the first time you've displayed anti DUCT TAPE PROTECTION PATROL tendencies.... do you have a deep seated resentment toward duct tape?

Be afraid. Be very afraid. ....... Ladies, our duct tape and it's reputation has been threatened!!! http://www.stopstart.fsnet.co.uk/smilie/mad.gif Sound the alarm!! Assemble the troops!!!!! http://www.stopstart.fsnet.co.uk/smilie/ninja.gif

[Dream]

Been on alert since CarloG pm'd me about this evildoer this morning Kama!! Don't worry! All that is good on these boads knows that duct tape is used just to protect the tag fairies and would NEVER be entrusted to the likes of ZURG!!!:rolleyes: So let him create his maniacal stories....they are no threat here!!! (Pssst....hey Kama....how was that? Think he bought it?) AHEM....that's right....no threat here!!!

[Bennet]

Scene V: The Evil Emperor
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Rrrrrrrrrrip

The unmistakable sound of ripping duct tape wakes Dan from the stun. He opens his eyes and sees the tourist family yanking tape at a CM’s hands. Dan reaches for his cool spy fat Sharpie pen as one of the kids yells, “Dad he’s waking up should I blast him again so we can finish them off without any trouble?”

The pen is gone from Dan’s pocket.

“No. I’m coming, Con-man, thanks.”

“RoutmanDan I presume?” asks the Dad holding up Dan’s killer Sharpie. “Looking for this?”

“Training kids as assassins? Only Zurg could be so Evil.” Dan spits. His cool steel eyes taking in the whole ugly scene, “What, you don’t have the nerve to do it yourself – Zurg?”

“Not so fast secret-agent-boy. It took all of us to save you,” Zurg nods to the Tomorrowland CM’s, “and them.”.

Looking more clearly Dan sees Zurg’s kids are removing the duct tape that bound the Cast Members. Zurgswife is working on one woman with a little lip hair, “Wont hurt much more than waxing dear.”

Rip. “EEEYOW!”

“You can have your pen back now that you head is clearing.” Dad moves close and hands Dan the sharpie. “Try to avoid killing anyone. You have all the weapons - Trust us now?” Dan can read the shirt embroidery, BadShoe.com. Zurg sees what Dan is looking at and says, “It’s a cover Dan, public foolery as camouflage.”

“If it isn’t you - what is going on here?” Dan asks.

“We are not sure yet. A bunch of strange things are going on - we are not sure if they are related: disking up lawns, duct tape shortages, Internet servers going down, green spandex...” Zurg pauses, “I’ll explain later but we have to get you out of here fast security is already on the way. I feel they tend to poke around thing better left alone.”

Dan shifts his shorts, “So I have found.”

“Ha! Come on then.” Zurg pulls Dan up to his feet. “Ready to go kids? Cover story Foxtrot Alpha Tango! Will pick it up at the big granite ball under the Astro Orbiter.”

“Foxtrot Alpha Tango?” Dan asks

“Just play along,” Zurgswife advises as she sticks a Peter Pan shaped name tag on Dan that reads ‘Uncle Bob.’

“Zurg’s a jerk about those military sounding letter things Foxtrot Alpha Tango – F. A. T. I think it describes Zurgs head – Fat. He thinks it stands for Family Adventure Tour. Security will let that group do any silly thing they want.” She tells Dan. “We are about to be knee deep in rent a cops and you don’t want to be answering any questions. They have seen too many episodes of NYPD blue and they all want to be Sipowicz but they have the brains of Medavoy.”

“So I have recently found out.” Dan says. “But who behind…?” The doors burst open and the kids run out wildly talking about imaginary scores on the ride. Security pours in.

A Disney suit stops them and Zurg starts asking him questions before he can ask any of his own, “Hey man that ride scared my kids silly! When did you ad the pyrotechnics? Way too much, we almost got hurt! The guy in the car behind us got hurt really bad.” Zurg starts to raise his voice. “At least we are safe over at Universal.” The suit hands Zurg a stack of one-day park passes. “Oh , Thanks…” Zurg quiets down and the CM is glad to see him go.

“Like taking candy from a baby!” Zurg laughs. “That should cover next spring break.”

The BadShoe crew and RMD make their way from the Astro-Orbiter to Cosmic Ray’s Starlight Café skipping, hopping, yelling, imitating lawn sprinklers and in general making a spectacle of themselves. As planned this makes them invisible. Other guests turn their heads and avoid eye contact. More importantly the army of CM’s wearing neck ties and carrying radios see the Peter Pan name tags and briskly walk past seeing them only as a Family Adventure Tour group and failing to notice that there is no CM guiding them.

After crawling through the cafeteria and sneaking up to scare Starlight Rays does the group give up the pretence of the tour. “The suits passed us a while ago - what's with the crawling through the restaurant?” Dan asks?

“It is the kids’ favorite part of the tour, - got to have some fun - they can’t be spy kids all the time.” Zurgswife answers. “We’re heading over to Splash Mountain. Care to join us?”

“No thanks, I’m going to check with M from the room at Old Key West.”

“Right – We are at Boardwalk if you need us.”

“One more thing,” Dan asks, “How did you know I’m a secret agent?”

“Our sources let us know someone was trying to pin a Maniacal megalomaniac threatens global domination by controlling a particular commodity market – probably involving rockets and or satellites in space rap on Zurg. We have had our eye on the fake CMs for a while and they had theirs on you.” Zurgswife says. “Your signature was also clue.”

“Fake CMs?” Dan asks.

“At Buzz – the ones who duct taped you into the car so the saw would KILL YOU. You didn’t notice the different costumes?” Zurgswife’s said, more as of a statement of disbelief than a question.

“Well yeah they looked nice but I never thought…”

“Men,” Zurgswife interrupts, “a tight bodice and your brains turn to…”

[Saffron]

I'm kinda hoping Dan takes an extended vacation so that this tale continues. :D I love it Bennet!! :D

[Smee]

:D :D ...me too, Saffron!!! (........still thinking that it's CathyCanada....):smooth:

[glo]

“Men,” Zurgswife interrupts, “a tight bodice and your brains turn to…”

hmmm...you think Dan the man will like that one????rotflmao....
Please keep them coming.... ;)

[vickyBaby]

This story is MOST excellent!!!

[SonjaB]

Bennet, this is definately a CLASSIC!!! :D :D :D

[CathyCanada]

Corinne?? Moi?? I am only the script editor here?! ;)
CC

[DaisyDebbie]

I love Buzz Lightyear Spin Ranger! The last time I rode with my 5yo ds, he spun us the whole time. It was after the Adventurers Club meet. I had to lay down on the stone bench outside afterwards while my mom took my kids on again. :)

I'm sure Secret Agent RMD would be "distracted" by a tight bodice :D

[Nikole]

ROTFL Loving these Zurg! ;) Ok now I see why Zurgswife wasn't upset at her kids being cast in the villain role ;)

Hmmmmmmmmmmm who could it be.........

[zurgswife]

Wait!!!:eek: :eek:

He told me I was going to be a HEROINE

[DaisyDebbie]

Maybe you misunderstood and he said you are going to be ON heroin ;) :p :D

[Bennet]

Scene VI: …"bedroom" scene. You know, with tarantulas...

Dan drives BMW Z8 Convertible (400-hp V-8, 6-speed transmission; 0–60 mph in 4.2 seconds. Silver over black leather is the collectible James Bond livery.) up to his room at OKW. He parks just outside his Grand Villa. Good thing it is a short walk to the villa, he had to take a monorail, a tram and a long walk from the tram to the car in the Magic Kingdom parking lot.

It must be towel day. Dan passes mousekeeping working their way towards his Grand Villa. Even the house keeping staff has pin lanyards. More Aristocats and AmEx white gloves, you can tell what pins are available cheap in the internet and are giveaways, Dan chuckles to himself, all the CM's lanyards are full of them.

The hair Dan had stretched across the door is gone. Good field craft pays off, Dan knows someone is in his room. Not able to carry the PPK in theme parks, Dan checks to see that his special big Sharpie is ready for action.

He slowly opens the door. There is a bottle of Dom in an ice bucket by the bedroom door. He smiles as he hears the shower being shut off. He slips a Do Not Disturb sign on the door to fend off the approach of housekeeping.

The mysterious Jen glides out of the bathroom.

RMD stumbles momentarily losing his secret agent cool as she steps out "dressed" in a way that even EROS wouldn't post a picture of, unless she put on some fruit.

"In the opening scene I was shaken not stirred. You still have some work to do." She smiles, "Mom's shopping."

Some time later, and if we were parodying an older, less politically correct movie, after they had a cigarette, she notices the Champagne is getting warm and suggests Dan step out for some ice.

Dan heads for the ice machine with the spring back in his step. Housekeeping is finishing the last unit. "Mind if a grab a few of these before you go?" Dan asks picking up a few towels off the cart.

The maid looks like someone out of an EROS post. She glances at the Do Not Disturb sign still on Dan's door, looks him up and down lingeringly and nods yes with a knowing smile. She adjusts a pin on her green pin lanyard just as he starts to turn way. Dan assumes the motion is to draw his attention to her striped bodice.

“You need to cool down?” she says. It was a question or was it?

“What?” he follows her eyes to the ice bucket in his hand. “Oh right, Ice.”

"That can be amusing." She points down the hall toward the Ice Machine Sign. "That one is out of order. You will have to go around the other way to the next one to get ice - sorry."

After he has turned around stepped out of sight she adds, "Beauty." speaking into the pin on her lanyard she says, "I sent him to the next building for ice."

Dan returns to the villa, "I got some fresh towels from housekeeping - good thing too. She already moved on to another building." No answer. Jen is gone. There are signs of a struggle.

A large hairy tarantula is crawling on the Champagne bottle. RMD shoots it with the Sharpie pen.

Next: Scene VII: Attack of the Clones

[Patrick IL.]

http://198.64.133.85/images/icons/icon14.gif :D :bounce:

[EROS]

I was WAITING for RMD to find some loose, exotic women;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ..........


Here's a pic of JEN in the teddy which she inadvertently left in the bathroom:D:D:D

http://**********wisheslingerie.com/images/minx-fa.jpg

Here's a pic of the WDW maid:

http://shop.yummylingerie.com/Merchant2/graphics/00000001/LA8593.jpg


TOOOOOOOOO MANY WOMEN................TOOOOOOO LITTLE TIME

[Bennet]

ROFLOL EROS.
<bgsound src="http://www.007sdomain.com/jbtheme.mid" loop="-1">

How did I know this scene would get your attention?

Now I know the real reason Richyams likes OKW so much.
It aint the parking or the rooms it is the size (or lack of size) of the maid outfits.

...oh and I don't think Jen's blond.

[SonjaB]

:D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D

[DaisyDebbie]

I've stayed at OKW, never saw anything like that :eek: ;)

:D :D :D :D :D :D

[CarolG]

:tongue: :D :tongue: :D :tongue:

[Dan, RoutemanDan]

Originally posted by EROS
I was WAITING for RMD to find some loose, exotic women

exotic OK STOP Jen my wife STOP Watch the loose talk STOP D, RMD

[Dan, RoutemanDan]

M
they have jen STOP
send jpd asap STOP
zurgs ok & may help STOP

white screens them STOP
satellite involved STOP
protect alex STOP
repeat protect alex STOP

[Bennet]

Scene VII: Attack of the Clones

Dan is standing in the hall of the Boardwalk Villas banging on the door of the Zurg family suite.

“Come in Dan, the kids are having pizza, what is wrong? You look terrible,” Zurgswife ask letting him in the door.

RMD rushes in, “They got Jenny.” He is out of breath and sweaty but his face is dry. “..man it’s a long walk from the elevator… You have to come down to the boardwalk quick.”

“Who got who?” Zurg asks.

“They, they grabbed Jenny, the loose, exotic babe from my the suite at OKW… left a tarantula ...” Dan Gasps and looking around adds, “Man this place is small how do you all fit in here?”

The Zurgs give each other a knowing look. RMD thinks it is ‘cause of the tarantula. “You know a real big spider…”

ZZZZAPPPP. Dan falls from two stun rays.

“It was the sweaty shirt and dry face that made me suspicious. What tipped you off?” Zurg asks bending down to peal the mask of the body at his feet.

“The complaints about the standard view room and the babe's name is Jen not Jenny. - Is it who I think?”

“Yeah - Richyams, we’ll have to wait ‘till he comes around to ask a few questions.”

There is another knock on the door.

RMD steps in, dressed to kill in a white tux, “They got Jen.” He maybe pissed off but all he shows is ice cool. “Hi kids.”

“Who got who?” Zurg asks. “Nice suite got a date?”

“More like had one. They, they grabbed Jen, my wife, from our suite at OKW… even left a tarantula on the Champaign.” Dan says. “How cliché”

The Zurgs give each other a knowing look. RMD thinks it is ‘cause of the tarantula and says, “I hope EROS liked the tarantula gag.”

"No we were wonder why EROS changed the picture of the babe in the post above the maid."

Getting back to the story, Dan trips over the body on the floor. “Hello what’s this?”

“Richyams we think. He came in looking and sounding a lot like you, wanted us to go down to the boardwalk. Quick!”

Dan looks over the stunned Dis-er and says, “Sound like a trap. Looks like he wont be able to tell us much for a while.” Dan calls M to arrange for a debriefing team to pick him up.

"I found this after Jen disappeared." Dan shows them a pack of matches from JellyRolls.

“RMD and JellyRolls - Now that’s a cliché.” Zurg says.

“You don’t think it ‘just slipped out’ either huh?” DMD asks. “JayPD is meeting me here, he's my CIA liaison now. We thought you two might like to join us?”

“What a nice offer we would love to Dan,” Zurgswife says, “but we don’t have a sitter, the kids want to see Tapestry and they are too young to get into JellyRolls so unfortunately we’ll have to pass.”

JayPD arrives and trips over the sleeping body on the floor. They decide to move Rich to the sofa. Everyone is intrigued by the prospect of some sort of a trap and launch a plan to counter it.

"They won’t be expecting Jay and I, so we’ll go first.” Dan says.

The Zurgs get to the Screen Door General Store on the Boardwalk as a boat is docking. Dan is getting coffee at Boardwalk Joe's Coffee Cart. JayPD is watching the juggler.

A group of women, all in green spandex, get off the boat and as they come up the gangway, Dan sees some are trying to conceal duct tape. The plan is clear, just surround the Zurgs, tape them up and walk them off. Dan chuckles at the simple elegance of it.

His plan is even simpler.

He sets his refillable mug coffee mug down on the counter of Boardwalk Joe's and steps away. He gives Jay a nod. Just as the women approach Dan yells, “Hey the are trying to refill an All Star Music mug here!”

“And all 12 of them are staying in one Studio, with points they rented on eBay!” Jay shouts.

“I saw them saving chairs at the pool for locals friends at 8:30 this morning.” Zurg yells.

“And they were pool hopping at Storm Along Bay yesterday and the aren’t DVC members.” Zurgswife adds.

Hearing this an irate mob of DVC board Dis-ers surround the women and angrily throw the spandex clad ladies into the water.

“Enjoy the Parade.” Dan says to the Zurgs.

“And you the evening at Jelly Rolls.” Zurgswife replies.

Next. There is always a casino scene!

[CathyCanada]

ROFL!!!!!! :D I have such a visual of this......

[Nikole]

LMAO!!!!!! I LOVE IT! :)

[Dan, RoutemanDan]

ams - richyams? this must stop STOP

white pages worse than server down STOP

lawns being disked STOP
new crop planted STOP

protect alex STOP

[vickyBaby]

I am loving this. You are great Zurg.

[CarolG]

:D This is so much fun!!:D

[glo]

OMG :eek: ROTFLMAO...so hard it hurts...MORE MORE!!!!

[A kid at heart]

This would make a great vidoe game too! Keep it coming, this is great!

[DaisyDebbie]

The Richyams part is the BEST!!!!and so true, ROTFLMBO! :D

[Jaypd]

Way to funny....And I am in it.....Do I get a hot chick at the end :) :) :)

[Bouncy]

:D :D :D LMAO!!! :D :D :D

[EROS]

JAY, I don't want you to wait until the end for your "hot"chick. Here's one of RMD's babes. She cooks burgers as well, has a hidden microphone in her bra, and will stick you with her fork if you get tooooooooooooooo frisky;););)................

http://i.cnn.net/si/features/2002/swimsuit/images/gallery/yamila/lg/5.jpg

[Bennet]

Scene VIII – de la banc
<bgsound src="http://wso.williams.edu/~mgarland/themes/cheers.wav" loop="-1">
http://members.ams.chello.nl/j.eyk6/BondRohr.gif


Dan and Jay walking to Jelly Rolls. In a scene right out of Cheers, everyone in the place turns and tells, “Dan!”.

Jay quips, “And all the guide books say Super Star TV is gone. I expect to see Woody and Sam at the bar.”

“Yeah but that would make you Cliff Clavin.” Responds Dan.

Jay is about to expound on a little known fact when he notices the bar keeps name is Sam and he decides that discretion is the wiser choice.

“The usual Dan.” Sam “shaken not stirred.”

“Yes and a beer for Cliffy here.” – RMD

“Hey Jay,” Sam says and gesturing down the bar, “looks like some seats open over there.”

As they head for the seats a mysterious woman hands Sam a fist full of dollars (hey no Clint references, not that the Clint genre wouldn’t make for a good parody, but this is Bond thread!). He stirs something special into Dan’s Martini and brings the drinks over.
Dan has a sip, “Excellent Sam thanks.”

Music starts. Dan turns to Jay. “We need to get a look around. Care to Dance?”

“WHAT?” blurts out Jay, Dan caught him at the wrong time, and beer foaming out him nose.

“Look at the dance floor.” Dan replies, “all same sex couples.”

“First weekend in June already?” Jay asks, adding as he gets up, “my lead on the slow songs.”

They dance around the room, checking things out cheek to cheek. Dan feels a tap on his shoulder and a distinctly feminine voice asks. “May I cut in?”

Jay starts to protest and Dan gives him a dope slap. Jay snaps out of it and checks over the interrupter. He is very please with the upgrade. A beauty. “Hello Beauty” He says thinking 'Even better than the Babe EROS posted and no fork!.'

“Hello yourself big boy.” Beauty and Jay waltz off. Jay is answering questions about his zodiac sign.

“Hello Mr. Dan.” Our hero hears whispered in he ear. A green sequined arm reaches lightly for his. “There is an opening at the Baccarat table someone there who would enjoy your company.”

Dan drinks in the long evening gown and says, “It would be a shame if we didn’t become more intimately acquainted first.”

She smiles but steers him to the card table.

“Dan, Routmandan?” ask a particularly elegant woman in white sitting at the table, “Do please join us.” She gestures to an open seat.

“And may I ask who I have the pleasure of playing with?” Dan asks.

The reply polite but definitive, “I find table talk takes away from the game, don’t you.”

Cards are played and chips exchanged with only words like Banco, Chemin de Fer and Punto spoken the Croupier. It sound so impressive but it probably means something like, have any Jacks? Go fish..

A cocktail waitress brings Dan the drink he left at the bar. He rewards her with a generous stack of chips. Naturally he is quickly collecting all on the table.

“A toast to your good fortune Mr. Dan.” The elegant woman raises her glass.

Sensing an opportunity to learn more Dan raises his glass. “and to the return of yours, Ms. what was the name again?”

Their glasses touch with a ring and as he sips she says, “I didn’t say, Mr. Dan. Goodnight.”

“Goodnight? Didn’t we do a m-m-movie togetttherrr?” Dan’s thinking is slow and his word slurred.

“..not..name ..Dan..” he hears. He is falling to the floor and he hears a commotion. He notices short hairs clinging the hem of elegant woman’s dress. Realizing his drink was stirred not shaken he begins to blackout understanding it was drugged too.

"Nyquil!" he mutters.

[EROS]

LOL, Bennet...............................but YAMILA did NOT take kindly to having been written out of the script. JAYPD should be sooooooooo lucky (if his DW approved:) ). Of course, women carrying SHARP instruments can be a litttttttttttttttttle intimidating:D :D . How's this pic??? How many of RMD's babes can climb a tree with their feet from a supine position??:confused: :cool:

http://i.cnn.net/si/features/2002/swimsuit/images/gallery/yamila/lg/3.jpg

[vickyBaby]

Poor Dan. Will he get out alive? I'll stay tuned. Same Dan time. Same Dan channel.

[Bennet]

Down right upright EROS.

[Dan, RoutemanDan]

cat

[Bennet]

Oh and EROS nice shoes on fork woman, didn't think I would notice did ya? Does anyone in wear that combination of outfit and shoes? If so where?

[Bennet]

Jay starts to protest and Dan gives him a dope slap.

This dope slap dedicated to Glo.

[Bennet]

Okay. I cant post the next scene till I gat a new page.
I need to change the wave file.

The cheers thing was OK for the "Norm" gag but not for the next scene.

[Dan, RoutemanDan]

Out Cold - can't Help STOP
Dreaming of a cruise STOP

[Bennet]

I know you are out cold Dan. I wrote the scene.
Kids are dragging us out the door to see spiderman.
Nice mothers day present huh?

Scene IX when we get back

[Smee]

Okay, I am really looking forward to the next scene, so I'll happily take
up some more spece here and state again that I am really enjoying this novella!
Bennet, this is very creative and generous of you to do!!!

:bounce: :bounce: :bounce: :bounce: :bounce: :bounce: :bounce: :bounce: :bounce: :bounce:

(those bouncy guys take up more space than regular smileys!)

Keep up the excellent work!!!!

[Bennet]

We liked Spidy. now back to writing

[vickyBaby]

Spidey was cool!!!

[Bennet]

Scene IV – Gratuitous Chase
<bgsound src="http://www.007sdomain.com/jbtheme.mid" loop="-1">
http://members.ams.chello.nl/j.eyk6/BondRohr.gif

Dan, Routemandan . o O (A thousand cold pins poking in my face. I smell tequila and lime. Something’ strange. Must open eyes. Oh and why didn't the Cheers music work last scene?)

“Dan” – Jay’s voice. “Dan they spiked your drink with WDW water (http://198.64.133.85/showthread.php?s=&threadid=164013&highlight=water) - Dan wake up”

“Pour another bucket of margaritas on his face.”

“Will that help?”

“No but it is fun.”

“Good enough for me.”

Splash, Dan feels more cold. He sits up opening his eyes. He sees Jay and some guy he remembers from Disney Quest; what was his name? Something spacey, 2001HAL no. Buzz a Space Oddity no.

“Dan – good you are awake.” It was Jay, someone familiar was next to him. “This is Mario aka ********. He works for me. Been keeping an eye on you. They tried to grab you. Mario broke in to the Baccarat room just as they were about to duct tape you up. – I was… I was….. Well… I was right here as soon as I hear the commotion. Other than that I have a right to remain silent.”

Dan recalled who cut in on the dance floor. (for those who don’t EROS will be providing visual aid)

Jay continues, “They just left. We poured a bucket of margaritas on you to… to... to wake you up..”

“How long ago?” Dan is on his feet.

“About minute two.”

“Let’s go this thread needs a chase scene!” Dan said, up and running for the door.

Dan exits Jelly Rolls looks right and sees nothing unusual on the Boardwalk. He turns the corner to the left. Atlantic Dance is empty, but isn’t it always?

Dan sees a gang of green crossing the bridge to the Swan hobbling along in high heals. They were not thinking about walking, let alone running, on those shoes when they put’m on - Bennet would love this (http://badshoe.com), RMD thinks.

They have a big lead on Dan. He starts to run and hears bells. Clang, CLANG! CLANG!!. One of the damn surrey bikes is bearing down on him, the tourist family on board is too exhausted from the climb up the bridge to control it coming down. Dan jumps aboard and commandeers the bike. Dan and Mario join him. They start to pedal. It looks a lot easier on the flat. Going up the hill is tough and Dan and the boys start to appreciate the way the tourists felt.

By the time they reach the top the pack of green has loaded on to the MGM boat and is pulling out. The Epcot boat is empty except for an old woman boarding in a wheel chair holding what looks like a plush toy tabby cat. Breathless the speedboat from the Yacht Club roars up and the toy cat is dropped from her master’s arms.

Dan climbs the rail of the bridge but it is to late, the Friendship to MGM has just slid under the bridge. Jay has disappeared. Dan is ticked off yells at Mario to head to the World Showcase and contact M and then…… jumps off the bridge.

He lands on Breathless interrupting a private cruise. Dan takes the controls and takes off after the escaping Friendship. Think Live and Let Die but with the real Paul McCartney not the fake Paul / Kev / M / Klombar singing, of course we have a fake Bond so what can you do?

The Friendship docks. The crowd heads for MGM. Dan runs Breathless aground in a spectacular stunt-show kind of a way with a token large explosion. He jumps out. Jay is there.
“You couldn’t just dock? You just wrecked a classic antique boat!” Jay yells. (Jay it seams likes old boats.)

“This is Disney. It is a reproduction.” Dan replies and asks Jay. “How did you get here so fast?”

“I walked over from Boardwalk. Walking is always faster – don’t you read any other board on the Dis than the CB?”

Changing the subject Dan asks, “Which way did they go?”

“Rock n’ Rollercoaster” Jay answers, “Here I have Fast Passes there and at the Tower.”

“How did you get them?” Dan looks at Jay with newfound respect. “We haven’t even gone into the park yet!”

“All I will say is I’m a NYPD cop and we have a certain caché theses days.”

“Cliché?”

“No caché.” But that and the Baccarat stuff is enough of snooty European talk let get back to the chasé.

They enter MGM. As they approach the intersections of Hollywood and Sunset Boulevards, I must digress.

This is hallowed ground. When you are here, stop, look around and marvel at the wonders that surround you. Look down, lower, at people’s feet.

It is here at this intersection that BadShoe began. Here where I first asked my lovely, charming and female (and therefore, in my opinion, a speaker for all womankind) wife, “How the hell does she walk in those things?”

Where she disappeared into the crowd and came back a few minutes later out of film.

Sniff, sniff. I am so touched by it. (No! Not toched in the head, you jerk. Touched as in emotionally moved.)

I think there should be a monument, a sign or something.

Hippiechick over hears Zurg reading this and adds, “That was a touching speech Dad, but very, very, very strange!

Dan and Jay pause at the intersection and bow their heads in respect for the aforementioned hallowed ground. Then dash toward RnR. They almost catché the green babe gang, remember the green babe gang? This is a scene about chasing the green babe gang (GBG).

Dan and Jay are just a few people behind the GBG. “If we could just cut through this line..” Dan says.

“Are you nuts, You maybe a big shot international spy and I may have connections at NYPD Blue but those are minimum wage Disney College Interns.” Dan says pointing at the ride loading team. “They can bounce us out of here so hard and so fast the only green we will see is the Brazilian tour groups that get busted with us.”

“You are right, of coursé.”

Jay and Dan load into the last seats in the Limo. The spandex clad GBG are up front laughing and taunting Dan & Jay. They all listen to the LA traffic report. Areosmith blasts in their ears. Tires squeal. The rest of the limo takes off into the first invert but Dan and Jay’s car is left behind, then suddenly it takes off but instead of climbing the loop it is switched off into a maintenance track. A dead end. It looks a lot like the crash test at test track but it isn’t going to open. Steven Tyler is singing, “..Going down.”

The sound track is interrupted by a voice over the sound system. “Your love will get the same in an elevator. All the bandwidth will be mine. Goodbye Mr. Dan.”

Instinctively his foot jab’s where the break peddle is on his BMW Z8 Convertible 400-hp V-8, 6-speed transmission; 0–60 mph in 4.2 seconds. Silver over black leather is the collectible James Bond livery. (We take product placement seriously but the BMW is about as close to the driveway as the $1,000 Brisully misses (http://198.64.133.85/showthread.php?s=&threadid=202602) the DIS giving everyone's bank account and we are planning to use for the insurance payment on the Bimmer)

The noise of the crash is deafening.

[Jaypd]

Eros thanks for the babes :) :)

Bennet keep up the good work :)

[vickyBaby]

He wrecked the Breathless???!@!!:eek:

[DaisyDebbie]

Damn Dan, I didn't get to ride in Breathless yet! ;)

Dan,Jay and Mario, now there is some trio :rolleyes: ;)

[Realgrumpy]

Too funny!

[A kid at heart]

This is greaT!

[Bennet]

Originally posted by vickylan
He wrecked the Breathless?

Did I mention a maniacal megalomaniac threatens global domination by controlling a particular commodity market – probably involving rockets and or satellites in space?

More importantly, what is a Bond flick without blowing up some stuff?

[Smee]

Bennet posted that Jaypd said:
“No caché.” But that and the Baccarat stuff is enough of snooty European talk let get back to the chasé.

Awww man, I can just picture Jay saying that!!! ROFLMBO!!!!!

Keep up the most excellent work, Bennet!!!!

[klombar]

So far so GREAT! When do I get to play again?

[CathyCanada]

Corinne, you are soooo right!!! :D Lovin' it Bennet, but beware, the "Man" comes home tomorrow....
:smooth:
CC

[Bennet]

Scene IX.2 More Chase.

There was no break pedal under Dan’s foot. The car crumpled into the wall. Strangely Dan seemed to be viewing it from above as if some greater hand had chosen to pull him out to let him see his demise. The was a bright light as if at the end of a tunnel. The crash site seemed to shrink before him. He looked around and saw Jay still sitting in his ride seat floating nest to him, joy and peace seemed to be written on his face. He was Floating!

(Ok that should have gotten rid of EROS)

They were not dead! Ejector seats! Dan wondered if Jay would need new shorts too.

Q must have known by the Fast Pass that they were riding RnR. But he GBG also knew but how? More pressing was that the GBG were getting away. Dan and Jay settled to the ground.

Jay was a little shaken but stirred up. “Man that is a cool ride! When did they add that effect? Let’s go again!”

“Jay we were almost killed by the GBG.” Dan pointed out.

“That wasn’t part of the ride?”

“No!” – Dan.

“Oh. Too bad it was way cool! What is that smell?” – Jay.

“Let’s get over to the ride unloading gift shop. The GBG may still be on the ride.” Dan changes the subject but adds, “I need to pick up some Rock n Rollercoaster shorts at the gift shop – for a friend.”

“Yeah, Right!”

The two spied worked their way to the ride picture screens at the unloading zone. Dan watched the crowd. Jay started chatting with the CM attending the screens. Dan didn’t see any green. Jay came over with a pair of picture tickets.

“Come on Dan I think I have something.” Jay says.

“Huh?”

“Just come on.” Jay says leading the way to the picture printing counter.

“I’ll have two copies each of both of these - 8x10s.” Jay says to the CM handing over the picture numbers, and adds to Dan, “Grab a package of shorts and give him your room card Dan.”

Dan quietly complies and they walk out heading to the rest rooms by between Rock ‘n Rollercoaster and Tower of Terror so Dan can ‘freshen’ up. When Dan comes out Jay is looking at a picture of their car crashing into the wall just as Dan and Jay are being ejected.

“That is what you bought, souvenir pictures?”

“Cool isn’t it Dan, I got you a copy too. Check it out! You can even see the stain forming on your pants!”

“Hurrump.”

“Oh here’s the other one.” Jay hands Dan a picture of the GBG riding with Jen, bound in Duct Taped, with them.

“Just before the crash someone said something about an elevator.” Dan recalled.

Jay looked at Dan and politely pointed out that he had had enough thrill rides for the day. He gave Dan a Fast Pass ticket for Tower of Terror.

“I’ll wait at the exit for you.” Jay called as Dan headed into TOT adding after Dan was out of ear shot, “and if you live…. I’ll have fresh shorts for you.”

Dan was the last one loaded into the elevator.

There was green all around him.

[Bennet]

Originally posted by klombar
So far so GREAT! When do I get to play again?

Soon.

[Smee]

OMG!!! ROFLMBO!!!!! I am sure that RMD will really appreciate the "pants problem"!:D

Does this have to end when RMD gets home?!?!?!:(
Corinne

[glo]

I am loving this saga....RMD will love the pants problem, I would be afraid Bennett!!!

Can't wait til the next installment!!!

[vickyBaby]

Poor Dan.

[DaisyDebbie]

*gives Bennet a standing ovation

I'm laughing so hard I can barely type :D Excellent!!

[Bennet]

Originally posted by Smee
Does this have to end when RMD gets home?

Zurg is going to need some serious royalty checks if it goes on much longer.

[Realgrumpy]

http://home.rochester.rr.com/teddybear/ola.gif

[Nikole]

"We're not worthy" ;)

LOVING this Bennet! You are hillarious!

Poor Dan.....got the um somethin scared out of him ;)

[Jaypd]

Gotta love these....:) :)

[zurgswife]

Any checks should be made out to Zurgswife

As all Zurgs money is reallyHERS!!!

[DaisyDebbie]

Of course, it is :D

[Bouncy]

This is too funny Bennet,don't suppose you need a Scotswoman in it anywhere!!I'd love to be famous!:D

[Bennet]

Scene featuring M
<bgsound src="http://soundamerica.com/sounds/spoofs/Music/scotsman.wav" loop="-1">
http://members.ams.chello.nl/j.eyk6/BondRohr.gif

This is too funny Bennet, don't suppose you need a Scotswoman in it anywhere!! I'd love to be famous!
You sure about that Bouncy? I do have a role for a Scotsman but I could re work it. ;)


Instead of playing Paul in the British Invasion, Kev / M / Klombar is sitting in at bass for Mark Weldon of Offkilter (http://www.offkilter.net/) . He is on the look out for trouble. Okay he is on the look out and that may get him in trouble.

Two lime green temptress approach him between sets. Looking for autographs they flatter him into an invitation to the Rose and Crown for a few pints.

Not wanting to break his cover he accepts. The rest is a matter best left to the folk songs:

Scottsman Kilt

Well a Scotsman clad in kilt left a bar on evening fair
And one could tell by how we walked that he drunk more than his share
He fumbled round until he could no longer keep his feet
Then he stumbled off into the grass to sleep beside the street
Ring ding diddle diddle I de oh ring di diddly I oh
He stumbled off into the grass to sleep beside the street

About that time two young and lovely girls just happend by
And one says to the other with a twinkle in her eye
See yon sleeping Scotsman so strong and handsome built
I wonder if it's true what they don't wear beneath the kilt
Ring ding diddle diddle I de oh ring di diddly I oh
I wonder if it's true what they don't wear beneath the kilt

They crept up on that sleeping Scotsman quiet as could be
Lifted up his kilt about an inch so they could see
And there behold, for them to see, beneath his Scottish skirt
Was nothing more than God had graced him with upon his birth
Ring ding diddle diddle I de oh ring di diddly I oh
Was nothing more than God had graced him with upon his birth

They marveled for a moment, then one said we must be gone
Let's leave a present for our friend, before we move along
As a gift they left a blue duct tape ribbon, tied into a bow
Around the bonnie star, the Scots kilt did lift and show
Ring ding diddle diddle I de oh ring di diddly I oh
Around the bonnie star, the Scots kilt did lift and show

Now the Scotsman woke to nature's call and stumbled towards a tree
Behind a bush, he lift his kilt and gawks at what he sees
And in a startled voice he says to what's before his eyes.
O lad I don't know where you been but I see you won first prize
Ring ding diddle diddle I de oh ring di diddly I oh
O lad I don't know where you been but I see you won first prize

I like Keith Synnestvedt's (http://www.alsterentertainment.com/page1.cfm?ID=11) version a lot better. Same words much better singing, but I couldn't find a .wav. If you are in Breckenridge Colorado find out where he is playing. Tell him Bennet sent ya.

[klombar]

Airing out my dirty laundry and some other things!

[Bennet]

Glad you like it M.
Think Bouncy still wants a Scotswoman to be in the story?

[Nikole]

ROTFL I love it!!!!! KEv in a Kilt! Woo hoo ;) And he won first prize! :eek:

[Smee]

Hey Klombar...I hope to see....er.....um...meet you someday!:p :eek:

[Mamu]

I just read all 11 pages and realized something. I need to stop playing in the dirt and start Dis'ing more often. This is Dis'ing at it's finest. lol

[Bennet]

Originally posted by zurgswife
Any checks should be made out to Zurgswife As all Zurgs money is reallyHERS!!!

Save time and make checks out directly to Disney, that is where it all ends anyway.

[Bennet]

Scene X
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Dan was the last one loaded into the elevator.

There was green all around him.

Dan sees Jen surrounded by the Green Babe Gang in the elevator. He sits, cool and comfy in his new Areosmith boxers. The ride safety bar is lowered and the Tower of Terror Cast Member breaks character smiles and says, “Goodbye Mr. Dan.”

“Not again,” Dan thinks.

The doors close, the ride starts. It is the normal show as they move to the drop area. Lightening hits the tower bla bla bla.

They lock in to the drop elevator shaft and the lights go out. They rise they fall. Ho hum nothing out of the unusual. The group shuffles nervously, there is a quiet rip. They have a prolonged wait in the dark and Dan starts feeling good about a new ‘Drop Program.’

The elevator rises rapidly. It is the open-the-doors-at-the-top part of the ride and as the doors open and light pours in. In the quick flash of light Dan realizes the GBG have all somehow disappeared. It is only Jen and Dan.

The elevator drops and accelerates down. It keeps dropping. Dan struggles to move but his hands have been duct taped to the safety bar. The elevator car is still falling – fast but the feeling of weightlessness has gone.

Oddly instead of an abrupt stop the car is still moving and seems to be rotating backwards. His weight is on his back. The elevator has curved at the bottom of the shaft and is moving rapidly underground like some strange subway.

The car finally stops.

Hardly-uniformed, Armed Guards (HAGs?) release Dan & Jen and put them in a cell. The elevator car continues around a corner on an underground monorail. (Okay how many Bond movies have we seen this monorail, with different trim, in?)

The Hardly-uniformed, Armed Guards lock Dan and Jen in the cell. A 1950’s style intercom on the wall instructs Jen and Dan to dress for dinner. A white tux, freshly pressed and a costume out of an EROS post are hanging on a clothing rack.

Words are exchanged about who is wearing what. Only after Dan tries to put on the EROS post outfit and proves it is too small does he get the tux.

After another short ride on the underground monorail, they are escorted into a dining room by the Hardly-uniformed, Armed Guards. The Hardly-uniformed, Armed Guards retreat leaving Dan and Jen alone. A curved, modern stair case descends into the room. Large glass panes on the walls look into huge fish tanks. (We have seen this set a few times before too.)

A door opens and the elegant woman from Jelly Rolls enters holding a gray cat. The cat isn’t very happy and its tail is twitching. “You are a hard man to kill Mr. Dan,” she says.

Dan looks maliciously at the cat, but calmly replies, “I make it a point to stay alive. Particularly when I don’t know who is trying to kill me or why.”

[Bouncy]

LOve the Scotsman bit,Bennet.I would love to be squeezed in somewhere!!!!

[vickyBaby]

He he he he. Dan was trying to wear the Eros babe outfit.

[CathyCanada]

Kev, I would pay big money to see you in a kilt, be sure you wear yours when you come to Canada...you know the kilt will match our plaid lumberjack shirts. ;)

Dan, I'm sorry, I couldn't stop Bennet, he just got out of control!!!! :)
CC

[Bouncy]

Whats happened?I have been here for hours waiting on the next scene.:D

[Bennet]

Scene XI: The Plan

“You are in the way Mr. Dan. Since you will not be alive to see it happen, I will explain my plan over dinner.” She says gesturing to a fancy dining table. Dan and Jen sit. The elegant maniacal megalomaniac sits at the opposite end of the table and sets the cat down at her side. The cat looks at Dan and hisses and is reprimanded by her master, “Where are your manners? Is that is no way to speak to the condemned.” The to Dan, “Try the wine, I think you may enjoy it.”

“Lovely,” raising the wine glass to eye level his other hand casually at his side. He gives it a little swirl, inspecting the wines ‘legs’ and sips, “A very expressive nose. Intense and complex. Aromas of soft, red fruit and wood, with a touch of vanilla and delicate hints of spice. Château Beau-Séjour Bécot?”

“Very Good Dan.” His hostess replies. “Very Good. I see you can read the bottle.”

“..and I can see you will never Rule the world.” Dan retorts.

“But I will Mr. Dan. Even as we speak my top agents are about to capture the last pieces to the puzzle.” The maniacal megalomaniac parries.

“Pieces?” - Dan

“Yes, Pieces. Finish off your feeble friends, capture the only webmaster wily enough to weasel around the worms I will use to win the world and take over the next space shuttle launch so I can beam the viruses down from space..”

“Wily weasel worms?” – RMD, “you Wascally Wabbit!”

“Laugh while you can spy-boy. I have created viruses, well more technically worms, to infiltrate and control web servers. With them I can control all the content of the web, with control of the content I can control the peoples hearts, with the hearts I can control the minds, with control of the hearts and minds I can control the world.” The elegant woman smiled at the sound of her elegant plan.

“Very elegant,” Dan tried to control the conversation with flattery.

“Thank you, flattery will get you no where of course. There are two basic worms. One for each gender; Men are easy; I can plant subliminal messages on ESPN. That takes care of most of them the rest are simply incapacitated by the outfits my GBG wear,” she explains “You men are so visual flash a little ripped bodice and your minds turn to Playdough.”

“I see.” Dan said distractedly looking over the EROS outfit Jen was wearing.

“Hello Dan!?” the maniacal megalomaniac said, bringing Dan’s thoughts back to the current situation.

“Er um yes... You were saying two viruses”

“Yes Two.” The master criminal continued, “Women were only a little more difficult than men. I give them causes to believe in - they become obsessed and can be lead. Simple really. Yankee candles, complaining about their stupid DHs (mad all the stupider by my ESPN messages) ornament exchanges, Tag Fairies. That last one was my best yet – the faithful will do anything I say as long as the message comes in their tag.”

“You really believe these simple Jedi mind ticks will work?” Dan asks.

“But of course, they already are. Were you not hounded by my Duct Tape patrol? They think they are on the side of good. Ha they are my slaves all for a few bits of HTML code. And men are disking up their lawns all over to plant my little kitty cat more catnip.”

“Very clever but surely the technical geniuses will find you out.” - Dan

“No Dan you are wrong. Only one Webmaster has consistently thwarted my worms. Once he is out of the way the world is mine. His name is Alex.”

Dan raised his hand from his lap and shows the elegant woman his Motorola FSR radio. His thumb on the transmit button. The words that leave the woman’s lips are so sufficiently un-elegant that we can’t put them on the Dis.

She pushes a button and ...
http://205.158.147.182/serverdown.gif

[vickyBaby]

Oh brother. If Webmaster Alex is responsible for saving the world, we are in trouble. Better get your Redhead Patrol together Alex. They'll bring an ample supply of band-aids.

[MeanLaureen]

I'm not helping WebmasterAlex save the world unless he says pretty please first - how about you Sonja?? ;)

[SonjaB]

and says it nicely. :D

[Dan, RoutemanDan]

alex STOP
say please STOP
pretty STOP

[MeanLaureen]

oh.. and it should be pretty please with sugar on top. Sonja.. you want anything?

[Dan, RoutemanDan]

sugar on top STOP
request please stop STOP
so bad guy I can stop STOP

[MeanLaureen]

well gee.. if you're going to say pretty please with sugar on top how can we not help save the world! :D

[Smee]

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I was right?????????:eek: :eek: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Dan, RoutemanDan]

Originally posted by Dream
See Dream give the duct tape salute and recite the duct tape patrol pledge:

On my honor
I will defend the tag fairies
To the best of my abilities.
I will keep my duct tape at the ready
And my lime green uniform sparkling.
I will rriiiip my duct tape only when absolutely necessary
To protect the identity of the tag fairy/ies!
I will do my duty to the tag fairies and the CB,
I will help my patrol members whenever needed,
And I will obey the Law of the Duct Tape Patrol!

Hey Kama....help! The duct tape is stuck to my forehead in salute position! Dang this stuff is sticky!

See Dream march off the screen proudly saluting, all the while searching for evil-doers!!! Originally said by the maniacal megalomaniac
“But of course, they already are. Were you not hounded by my Duct Tape patrol? They think they are on the side of good. Ha they are my slaves all for a few bits of HTML code.

it is true STOP
duct tape patrol her's STOP
must stop STOP

[vickyBaby]

Sonja and Lauri -- here are some supplies:

http://www.band-aid.com/images/07_new_products/newproduct_tough_strips.jpg

[SonjaB]

I always knew the redheaded women would someday save mankind. :D

[CarolG]

Ok, where is this evil maniacal megalomaniac who's abusing the true meaning of duct tape?? Carol stands by tapping her foot, duct tape in hand.

[Dream]

Dream has been watching the evolution of this wonderful tale quietly...but now she must speak for herself and the entire duct tape patrol!!! We are a pixie dust blessed group who's only goal is to protect the identity of the tag fairy/ies. To insinuate some evil undercurrent is present in our patrol is absurd and laughable! So you psuedo-action writers have fun with your amusing story!! We know the truth!!;)

[MeanLaureen]

Originally posted by SonjaH
I always knew the redheaded women would someday save mankind. :D

Is there no end to our work around here Sonja?? ;)

[Bennet]

Scene XI release 2 - More of the Plan

Elegant Woman pushes another button. Dan is relieved of his Motorola FSR radio by tape patrollers, who quickly leave. “Those tape patrollers - do my every bidding thinking they are doing good! When of course they are work for me,” the elegant maniacal megalomaniac threatening global domination says regaining her composure.

“M was listening to your every word.” Dan says looking down the table. “Are you finished or would you like to go on?”

“Very clever Mr. Dan,” The woman laughs, “But M will be of little help to you. Two of my agents just finished a few pints with him at the Rose and Crown. He will not come to until after.”

“After?”

“After, Mr. Dan. After my plans are completed. After you are gone.”

“So soon. I do hope it is after, after dinner drinks.” Dan slyly attempts to get more specifics about the timetable.

“No need to be coy. You will not be sharing what I tell you with anyone. No doubt you are looking to get more specifics about my time table.”

“Then humor me.”

“Very well Mr. Dan? Do you know where you are?”

“MGM – I I followed your boat from the Swan & Dolphin.”

“You followed my tape patrollers, Mr. Dan. I took the other boat. I though you saw kitty and I boarding the boat to EPCOT.” She strokes the cat. “We are under the World Showcase Lagoon in my office complex.”

“Office complex under the World Showcase Lagoon! Impossible that is were M’s large and very elaborate spy control center are!” RMD It says so in Scene II;”We enter a large and very elaborate spy control center under the UK shops. All kinds of strange things are happening to dummies.
“Ha Ha Ha. No Mr. Dan. He’s next door at Universal Exports. My cover is Acme Enterprises. There is all kinds of flex office space down here. Part of Walt’s original Experimental Prototype Community of Tomorrow idea that people would live and work here.

“Then Disney decided they didn’t want any residents living in Reedy Creek who might vote against their wishes, so they scrapped the living part and maintained total control.” She says, “and as a maniacal megalomaniac, I have to respect their thinking.”

“The work part was scrapped too until current management figured they could generate some rent revenue with office condos. Works sort of like DVC. Where do you think all the people at the corporate functions for Illuminations come from anyway?”

“You know I have wondered about that. The corporate geeks show up in droves and take all the good spots.” Dan says absentmindedly.

“Well there is a minimum number of Illuminations events that you have to book as an office condo member.” She explains. “I am surprised that you haven’t been inveighed to any of Kev’s parties. They are infamous, typically he has’m on a Saturday night, they get a hot tub and lots of drinks. Everyone from the condo association loves’m.”

“That ungrateful low life, been partying all these years and never said a word to me…– Dan is visibly upset. “I always have a lousy view of the show...”

“Sorry, should have known better than to bring up office politics. Trust me you will have fine seats tonight.” She says.

“Sure!” Dan says sarcastically. “You have seen Illuminations so many times you are bored with it…” – Dan is still working on the chip on his shoulder.

“No not tonight. Tonight will be a very special show Mr. Dan and you will be my guest. Best seats available. Right in the action.”

“Really?” Dan is psyched.

“Yes, Tonight I take over the Illuminations show. It is scheduled at the same time as NASA’s space shuttle launch. I will use the show lasers to commandeer the shuttle mission, place their satellite in a new orbit. An orbit from where I will work my wondrous worms into World Wide Web servers worldwide. From my new control in Mission Space I will Rule the World!”

“Your worthless World Wide Web whishes will never work! Worker will work well into the winter at Mission Space.” Whispers Dan.

“We will have our wily way you wimpy weasel!” - the woman.

“That many have been a little too much alliteration.” Dan says

“Why whatever you wish, more wine?”

“Wonderful.”

“One of my Wonder Women works…” starts the woman.

“Enough! Ws” says Jen, who doesn’t have many lines but looks great then the EROS outfit.

“Sorry.” the elegant woman says. “ As I was saying one of my former wonder women is Carly Fiorina of HP. She gave me the inside info on the Compaq deal and I financed this whole maniacal megalomaniac threatens global domination by controlling a particular commodity market – probably involving rockets and or satellites in space gig with insider trading.

“Anyway Carly accelerated work on Mission Space while keeping up the appearance of slow construction. Once I take over shuttle mission and place their satellite where I need it, I will control all Internet traffic with a constant supply of worms and viruses.”

“What about the Mission Space ride?” – Dan

“Had to cut expenses – it will never happen – but the gift shop is a GO.” - Elegant Woman

“You are EVIL! - sure you don’t work in accountantearring?” - Dan

“So now that you know everything, it is time to take you up to the middle if the World Showcase Lagoon where I use you to warm up the lasers cutting into bits.”

“Everything? Not who you are or why?” Dan says

“Why I thought it would be obvious by now Mr. Dan.” She says scratching the cat’s ears.

[Smee]

:smooth: :smooth: :smooth: :smooth: :smooth: :smooth: :smooth: :eek: :smooth: :smooth:

...lovin' every minute of it Bennet!

P.s. The check is in the mail.:p

[DaisyDebbie]

Oh the plot thickens :D

[Bennet]

Scene XII: M Again
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Dan is being led to the proverbial gallows. (The Bond genre has a propensity for trying to bisecting our hero toe to head starting amid ship. However, we will forgo any cheap hang’m high jokes out of respect for EROS' temporary duties as CB censor.)

Dan’s attention seems to have slipped from professional matters to personal interests. He is chatting up the maniacal megalomaniac concerning the technique she uses to control the Tape Patrol.

“So you invented this whole Tag Fairy thing as a way of getting women to do ANYthing you want? And they do it thinking they are on the side of good, truth and virtue?” RMD asks the maniacal megalomaniac.

“Yes.”

RMD is so interested he is taking notes. “Brilliant! Where was this plan when I was young?”

WAP! Jen, Dope Slaps RMD upside the head glowering.



Meanwhile EPCOT security has taken note of a certain non-authorized blue ribbon exhibit. Radios are used to summon a supervisor in slacks and a tie to the scene.

A fellow Scot has also taken notice of M and steps over to assist a countryman. “Cover y’self laddie. They see that bonnie wee t’ing ‘n they’ll no yer not a true Scotsman.”

She blushes embarrassed, not for herself, but for him, “How ye got a ribbon fer that I’ll not grasp.”

M staggers to his feet with the help of his new friend. They hear radio messages. Security is bearing down on them. “Come lad, best avoid a talk with the law”

The group of security officials starts to step around a guest, who is sitting on the curb waiting for Tapestry of Dream and enjoying a snack. The first officer slips, as if on ice, and falls taking down his comrades and the supervisor in a tie down as well. They get up and look to apologize to the snacking guest but he is gone and so are the Scots. The security officers are covered in a thick, sweet, green-blue liquid and corn.

“Nyquil,” says a guard.

“Worse, the Corn People.” the tie mutters, “I have to call Eisner on the hot line.”



M settles back at a table outside the Rose and Crown with the two strangers. “Thanks. The name is Kev but you can call me Paul. I’m obliged to you two. Can I get you a drink?”

“Hi Paul, I’m Willy,” says the Tapestry fan, “more Nyquil for me. I don’t wish those security types on anyone.”

“Scotch whiskey neat,” says the Scotswoman, “couldn’t ‘elp but ‘ear ye radio. Would ye be needin’ some help, M? ”

M and Willy look at her with a blank expression.

“What radio?” M asks.

“Yours.” She takes the Motorola FSR radio from M’s belt. “No a Scot nor much o’ a Sean Connery ‘re ye?” Bouncy explains the radio call from Dan she over heard helping M up.

[Realgrumpy]

Wee thing? Aww come on now... I thought this was a true story!:D

[DaisyDebbie]

Oh my Kev is flashing the World in his husky kilt?????:D :D :D

I love the dope slap :p :D ;)

[Bennet]

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http://members.ams.chello.nl/j.eyk6/BondRohr.gif

Originally posted by DaisyDebbie
I love the dope slap :p :D ;)

Me too. Had to work one more in. Thank Glo - she was dope slapping people in chat.

All dope slap rights reserved - no royalties paid

[glo]

My second of fame....lol


I love it!!!
\
Please keep em coming...

[Realgrumpy]

Kev, I believe this belongs to you...http://www.aaaaward.com/Ribbons/TradC.jpg
http://www.animationgrove.com/images/scotland/scotsman1.gif

[DaisyDebbie]

ROTFLMBO!!!!! :D :D :D

[Smee]

Oh Hurray for Bouncy!!! She's in the story!! She'll be so happy!!!

Another great installment, Bennet!!!!!!

[nativetxn]

I go away to Texas for a mere 10 days and look at all the fun I've missed! This is wonderful :D

[Dan, RoutemanDan]

kev get underwear STOP
new disney security STOP
former ca asst. principal STOP
will ask wearing underwear STOP
thong check STOP
details (http://198.64.133.85/showthread.php?s=&threadid=197684&highlight=skirt) STOP

[Smee]

Ohhhhhhhh, uh-huh RMD. I thought you needed new underwear for another reason (see earlier chapter of this novella)!!:p

[Bennet]

Originally posted by Dream
....and we are everywhere!!! (See Dream give the secret duct tape signal to teh duct tape patrol to make the boards go blank again and make BWVDenise feel like she is all alone again! Makes sneaking around looking for non-believers so much easier!)
As Dan marches to impending doom, the truth comes out!

Board outages are the fault of the Duct Tape Patrol.

Even I couldn't have written a clearer confession (http://198.64.133.85/showthread.php?s=&threadid=205543).

[Dream]

Extreme evil takes extreme action! It's all for the common good!!!See Dream edging toward the side of the screen, hoping to duck any rotten eggs or tomatos being thrown her way!!)

[klombar]

Thanks for the ribbon but I believe a blue FLAG would have been better suited!

Bennet keep em coming Im really enjoying this. If things work out in the end for Dan and Jen and they sail off into the sunset can I get my own babe in EROS gear? I'm kind of tired of all these battery operated toys. Just a thought.:D :D :D :D

[TXTIGGR]

Brilliant Zurg - just brilliant!

Q would be proud, as well as RSTUVWXYZ.

:D :D :D

[Bennet]

Originally posted by klombar
If things work out in the end for Dan and Jen and they sail off into the sunset can I get my own babe in EROS gear?

Have you been reading ahead?

[Bouncy]

This is fab!!I am famous at last,thanks!!
Autographs will be sent by request,just pm me with details and I will forward it asap!

[Dan, RoutemanDan]

request autograph STOP

[Bennet]

<bgsound src="http://bondsounds.members.easyspace.com/goldfinger/expect.wav" loop="1">
<bgsound src="http://www.007sdomain.com/jbtheme.mid" loop="-1">

http://bondsounds.members.easyspace.com/gfpic.jpg

[Smee]

Oh Dan! I like your new clipart thingie!......i was afraid you might do some "soiled shorts" :p

[Dan, RoutemanDan]

smee smee smee STOP
i am dan, routemandan STOP
not routemandan STOP
his art mirror image STOP
she isn't CC STOP

[Smee]

:eek: :eek: :eek: Sorry!!!.........(i'm still "relieved" that you didn't use "soiled shorts" for your clippie) :p

[RoutemanDan]

Smee,Don't let this imposter fool you.There is only <b>one</b> RoutemanDan!:smooth:

[Dan, RoutemanDan]

smee STOP
soiled shorts STOP
his not mine STOP

[nativetxn]

I love all the sound effects :D

[Smee]

ROFLMBO!!!!!

"Double your pleasure,
Double your fun....."

[Bennet]

http://www.ianfleming.org/007news/images3/dadteaser.jpg
The final Scene has been SHOT.

The film editors are hard at work.

World Premiere Tonight 7:00pm EDT.

Feel free to start guessing who it is!

[Bouncy]

I can't wait to find out!What time will that be over here,about midnight is it??Don't know if I can stand the wait,the excitement is too much for me!!

[MeanLaureen]

Cool! I can't wait to find out what happens!!

[DaisyDebbie]

Are we guessing as to who the evil woman is? If so I guess WebmasterCathyCanada.

[Smee]

:smooth: :smooth: :smooth: ......I stick by my guess from waaaaaaaay back:smooth: :smooth:
Corinne(smee)

[Bennet]

http://www.klast.net/bond/images/gunbarr.jpg

[EROS]

Would you consider ANNA NICOLE for your next screenplay????:) :) :)

http://celebritiespictures.supereva.it/annanicole/image0020.jpg

[Bennet]

<bgsound src="http://bondsounds.members.easyspace.com/goldfinger/expect.wav" loop="1">
<bgsound src="http://www.007sdomain.com/jbtheme.mid" loop="-1">

Great Bond Spys

http://www.klast.net/bond/images/sc_red.jpg
Sean Connery

http://www.klast.net/bond/images/laz_69.jpg
George Lazenby

http://www.klast.net/bond/images/moore.jpg
Roger Moore

http://www.klast.net/bond/images/td_tux.jpg
Timothy Dalton

http://www.klast.net/bond/images/pb2002.jpg
Pierce Brosnan

http://205.158.147.182/djwaltcldrmd.jpg
RoutemanDan

[DaisyDebbie]

LOL, I would say RMD fits right in :)

Eros-If only Anna still looked like that.:rolleyes:

[Jiminy102]

I have loved reading this continuing adventure!! I will be sorry to see it end..........what a wonderful story!! Congrats to all the stars who have had their moment of fame!!!! I can't wait to see how it ends!!!!!

[Bennet]

Scene XIII - The Conclusion

http://members.ams.chello.nl/j.eyk6/BondRohr.gif


“Alex,” mutters M.

‘”Lex,” mutters Bouncy.

“More Nyquil.” mutters Willy.

“I guess we have to go Innoventions.” - Kev

“’Noventions?” asks Bouncy.

“It is were techies hang out.” - M

“Can we get some kumquat-flavored soda from Kuala Lumpur at Coke’s Ice Station Cool?” asks Willy.

M and Bouncy look at each other and shudder at the thought of kumquat-flavored soda from Kuala Lumpur. “Kumquat-flavored soda from Kuala Lumpur?” thay ask at the same time and with the same incredulity.

“Great mixer.” Willy says holding up his Nyquil.

“Okay we’ll go after another round or three of drinks.” M says ordering a double. His friends follow suit.



Dan remember Dan? This is a story about RoutemanDan.

Dan still smarting from the dope slap and Jen’s glowering look marches up a metal stair case. They are in a very industrial looking setting. As they walk Dan notices an unusual metallic clink to the sound of their footfalls.

“We will soon be on my private island in the World Showcase Lagoon,” the Maniacal Megalomaniac says, stroking her gray cat.

Dan thinks back to scene VIII. Where he had noticed short hairs clinging the hem of elegant woman’s dress and scene IX where he saw a woman boarding the EPCOT baot in a wheel chair holding what looks like a plush toy tabby cat. He realized that it wasn’t an old woman or a toy but a simple disguise.

Had he been a little sharper Bennet wouldn’t have had to type all those other scenes. He tries to focus. He puts away his notes on the Tag Fairy. ‘Be sharper Danny Boy, sharper,’ he tells himself.

“You will be strapped in here.” The Maniacal Megalomaniac gestures at a table with stirrups. Pointing at the floor below the table adds, “The laser starts down there and works it way up.” Dan’s feet are strapped in.

He takes the notebook and pen from his jacket pocket and tosses them onto the Maniacal Megalomaniac’s laser control desk. “Oh well I guess I will not be needing these after all.” He braces for the dope slap he knows is coming and quips, “Pity really.”

Everyone knows it is coming and watches, wap, more of a farewell caress than a real dope slap. (Glo are we milking enough mileage out of the dope slap?)

The Maniacal Megalomaniac pockets Dan’s pen. “I always like to pick up a souvenir when I visit EPCOT.”

They are about to lock down Dan’s hands and he says, “Well as this, I guess, is the end. Goodbye…Catsrule!”

“Yes Mr. Dan. Very clever. I am Catsrule.” Replies the Maniacal Megalomaniac.

“As I suspected. So that would be Simba.” He nods at the cast walking across the floor to a sophisticated, titanium, kitty condo.

“Yes Mr Da..” BOOM

Dan’s spy guy Sharpie pen detonated with a metallic ring.

Dan covers Jen eyes and looks over to see what he expects to be gruesome remains. He is shocked to see wires, pulleys and aluminum ‘bones’. “Catsrule was animatronic.” He says in disbelief, “but who?…”

A paw steps on a button. The laser fires up. Dan is brought back to the immediate problem of freeing his legs. Just as the beam approaches a tender area, he frees his left leg and spins out of the way.

“Because GE brings good things to life…” Blast from the PA system.

“We don’t have much time.” Dan says. Grabbing Jens hand. “Illuminations will start soon. This island is a little too close.”

“You win this time Mr. Dan but I’ll be back.” a synthesized voice says. Simba’s paw pushes anther button and the elaborate titanium kitty condo door and windows close with a hiss. The kitty condo is a missile. Simba is launched back into outer space from whence he came.

“I’ll get you Simba if it is the last thing I do.” Dan swears. “However the immediate threat posed by a maniacal megalomaniac of global domination by controlling Internet bandwidth with rockets and or satellites in space will be averted with the destruction of the island base.”

He strategically re-aims a few fireworks to distroy the evil ones base on the island.

Jen takes up a Compaq iPac from the robo-Catsrules (editors note: not a real person, I didn’t kill anyone in this story) hand. With sure signs of technical prowess she makes a few quick strokes with the handheld computer’s stylus.

“Careful you don’t know what you are doing!” Dan exclaims pulling Jen away and starts her running for the boat. They push off and head towards Great Brittan.

“What were you doing?” Dan asks, “ You could have blown us up, you don’t know anything about computers!”

“Oh but you are mistaken.” She replies. “I am quite very proficient with PCs. I let you live in your little online fantasy world to get you prepared for our off-line interfacing.”

“Well my dear,” says Dan wryly “I think it is time to make a connection.”

Their boat bumps into a riotous corporate Illuminations party going on between the UK and France. The host stops down to say hello.

“Oh.. a.. hi.. Dan. Just started… figured you were… Care to Join us?” M stammers in embarrassment at being caught throwing another big bash that Dan wasn’t inveighed to. “Would have inveighed you but the party just came to gather a few minutes ago. It was strange Acme Enterprises called and offered us their time slot. And well I wasn’t going to take it but then they sowed up.” M points at a hot tub full of kumquat-flavored soda from Kuala Lumpur, Nyquil and babes in lime green wonder woman suits.

Dan is about to get up shooting when Jen says, “It is OK I sent them a message through Catsrule’s Tag Fairy network to be nice to Kev, I heard he was out of batteries.”

Dan smiles, aroused by these new powers of Jen’s and pushed the boat out into the dark water.

They embrace.

The camera pans up to exploding fireworks.

The closing credits roll.

Members of the Academy cast their votes for best Screen Play.
DAN ROUTEMANDAN

THE END

[glo]

:bounce: :bounce: :Pinkbounc :Pinkbounc :bounce: :bounce: :Pinkbounc :Pinkbounc :bounce: :bounce: :Pinkbounc :Pinkbounc :bounce: :bounce: :Pinkbounc :Pinkbounc

Standing ovation here!!!!



love the dope slaps...got quite a bit of useout of it...lol ;)

[DaisyDebbie]

BRAVO, BRAVO!!!!! *gives Bennet a standing ovation

That was great! :D

[SonjaB]

WOOOOHOOOOO!!!!!!!! EXCELLENT!!!!!!!

Rave reviews! Oscar buzz! Well, the crowd at Denny's liked it, anyway. :D :D :D

GREAT JOB, BENNET!!!!!!!!!!!! :D

[Kama89]

But of course, they already are. Were you not hounded by my Duct Tape patrol? They think they are on the side of good. Ha they are my slaves all for a few bits of HTML code.
http://www.stopstart.fsnet.co.uk/smilie/yeees.gif

M points at a hot tub full of kumquat-flavored soda from Kuala Lumpur, Nyquil and babes in lime green wonder woman suits.
Oh well... why not!! I am, after all the one that's always ready for a good old fashioned duct tape party!


“It is OK I sent them a message through Catsrule’s Tag Fairy network to be nice to Kev, I heard he was out of batteries.”

http://www.stopstart.fsnet.co.uk/smilie/eek4.gif Uh oh.

[nativetxn]

:D

[CarolG]

Bravo! Bravo! Bravo!

When can we expect the sequel? (There's always a sequel, isn't there?):D

[Patrick IL.]

Excellent Job! I enjoyed the saga!:D :bounce: :bounce: :bounce:

[Buz]

"Riveting, absolutely riveting!" gushes Buz. " Great job! Bravo! Encore!"

"Ok, that's enough." says Buz's Evil Twin (BET), "nothing to see here."

"Cool!" says Buz

BET shouts "I said enough!"

[Bouncy]

ENCORE ENCORE,that was brilliant:D
Have you started on the sequel yet LOL!!:D :D :D

[Bennet]

Thanks Bond fans!

[Smee]

WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH.

I miss my daily Episode fix!!!!

[Dream]

I have to say the boards have been a little dull since the end of your novellette Bennet! Caught up on your sleep yet? :D

[zurgswife]

Sleep ......How about do you know who your wife is????:D

Computer vs wife in this house.....the computer wins....

[klombar]

LOVE THE ENDING!

Now all I need is my speedo and Im all set!

Very nice work! A standing ovulation!

[Dream]

Poor zurgswife! It's always the wife who suffers!! HEY....Bennet!!!!! Pay some attention to your wife!!!!!:D

[Bennet]

Zurgs wife has more post than Zurg.

So do you know who your wife is?

- Yes she is on the laptop pounding out the posts.

[Zurg]

<bgsound src="http://www.007sdomain.com/jbtheme.mid" loop="-1">
http://members.ams.chello.nl/j.eyk6/BondRohr.gif
When we last saw our hero, Dan, RoutemanDan, he was drifting out to sea but his ship had come in if you catch my drift. Wink, Wink, Nudge, Nudge – say no more.

Dan smiles, aroused by these new powers of Jen’s and pushed the boat out into the dark water.
Some time later Dan is brought down to reality when he learns of a news story on Drug Counterfeiting that details tens of thousands of bogus Viagra pills. (http://www.npr.org/ramfiles/me/20020812.me.03.ram) This could explain a lot Dan thought.

What will Bob Dole do?
Will Kev be safe in the hot tub full of Nyquil and Green tape babes without his little blue friends?

The bottle of Dom Perignon 1993 is upside down in a sterling silver bucket. A woman’s playfully giggles just as the new story ends. “Oh Dan” she whispers, “Don’t worry these things happen.”

“Oh Dan?” It is another voice, another female voice but tinny as if transmitted over two cans with a string between them. The voice is coming from a small digital camera and a face appears on the camera screen. “Oh Dan? Hope you are not busy. "M" needs to see you right away.”

“Right now Moneypenny?” Dan asks, “Things are hoping to look up here… “

“Straight away Dan.”

“Right,” Dan mutters. “Tell Kev. he is getting to be a pain.”

“M wishes to see you right away Dan,” the woman on the camera monitor says adding, “M is most insistent, SHE wishes to see you at once.”

“She?” Dan laughs, “What without his little blue friends we are now referring to Kev as she?”

“You watch these movies often Dan?” the voice asks. “Do you know the cast changes? ANYONE can be replaced, if you catch my drift, DAN!”

“What are you trying to say?” Dan thinks out loud.

“Think George Lazenby.” (http://www.007database.com/lazenby.html ) The voice says.

“OH!” Dans thoughts are interrupted when he hears a watch ring.

“I’ll get it!” Dan’s mysterious partner says demurely slipping on a piece of lingerie that you will have to imagine (until EROS post a picture) and picking up a ringing wrist watch. “Yes… Report to M… New threat… Thanks. Bye.”

“Hey! Dan exclaims, “Tell Money Penny I got the message on the camera. She didn’t need to go phoning the watch too.... Hey Why are you taking my calls? I’m the secret agent here!”

“Oh you heard. Okay then.” She smiles but looks off towards where the Horizon Pavilion was and asks, “You hear that?”

“Yes I heard.” Dan fumes going into a rant, “Moneypenny is getting out of line…”

“No! Not her! Listen!”

In the distance they hear the buzz of jet skis. The noise is growing quickly louder. Slime green Jet Skis are closing fast and some how the riders are shooting. The dubiousness of shooting straight from a bouncing Jet Ski not withstanding, bullets started whizzing all around.

Dan is grazed by a bullet as he pulls a discarded blanket of the floor of the boat, grabs some objects of the floor as and pushes the mysterious Jen over board shoving a small aluminum cylinder in her mouth.

Realizing what it is she starts to breathe from the tiny only-in-the-movies scuba gear. They pull on standard issue 007 scuba gear; full wetsuit, latest buoyancy compensator, weights, knife, underwater propulsion scooter, etc for him, air tank and teeny weenie bikini for her.

More improbable than the shooting from Jet Skis, given they were last seen in fresh water, they are somehow menaced by a shark, drawn by the sent of blood coming from Dan’s arm. (Writer's note: I would like to that this opportunity and apologize for not including a shark scene in the original D, RMD epic. It was a significant oversight on my part and hope that readers will forgive me. I hope the bikini strap in this next sentence makes up for it.) Charging Dan, the shark’s tooth grazes Dan’s date’s shoulder cutting one of her bikini straps.

Dan isn’t about to let any shark, sea or one of Jimmy Buffet’s land swimming variety, cut in on his woman. Incensed he stuffs his air tank into the monsters mouth and manages to detonate the compressed air causing the shark to explode. Practicing a little mouth to mouth they share the air and swim away from the Jet Ski’s slowly circling above.

They swim for awhile and surface of all places, as if you haven't surrendered all disbelief already, in San Francisco bay at Alcatraz Island. Dan, RoutemanDan is Back!

(I will NOT be doing Daily D,RMD trip reports like last time – D,RMD may be a hero but I'm not. Maybe one or two a week.)

[Bennet]

http://worldzone.net/travel/routemandan//alc1.jpg

[Wagamama]

yay!!! This is great!!! Are any Graysiders going to be in it?

[DaisyDebbie]

Thanks Bennet for giving my fix ;)

Great as usual! :)

[glo]

***sigh***

I missed my RMD fix....I will wait patiently :p :p

[Smee]

YAY!!!! He's baa-aaack!!!

[klombar]

Originally posted by Zurg

“Right,” Dan mutters. “Tell Kev. he is getting to be a pain.”

“M wishes to see you right away Dan,” the woman on the camera monitor says adding, “M is most insistent, SHE wishes to see you at once.”

“She?” Dan laughs, “What without his little blue friends we are now referring to Kev as she?”

“You watch these movies often Dan?” the voice asks. “Do you know the cast changes? ANYONE can be replaced, if you catch my drift, DAN!”

“What are you trying to say?” Dan thinks out loud.

“Think George Lazenby.” (http://www.007database.com/lazenby.html ) The voice says.


HEY!!!!!!!!

I thought I signed for a multi story deal. I'm going to have to talk to my manager! You all know HER! Where is NICOLE! We have got to talk! I didnt think my demands were too much. I mean all stars should have a personal masseuse named Debbie and of course a personal assistant Holly to handle all my music needs. I really need the trailer and the special buffet. One must keep good care of ones self when you are before the public. HMMMMMM we shall see. Maybe we could start our own show "Who wants to marry a klombar"

[Zurg]

Originally posted by klombar


HEY!!!!!!!!

I thought I signed for a multi story deal.

Oh you did - you did. :teeth: :earseek: :teeth: :earseek:

[klombar]

Originally posted by Zurg


Oh you did - you did. :teeth: :earseek: :teeth: :earseek:

Oh okay, nevermind! Back to the story. Im sorry I get so emotional!

[Zurg]

Originally posted by klombar
..I get so emotional!

Hmmm.... the writers block is clearing

[Zurg]

Bonus - I forgot how much fun these are to write here the next Scene

D,RMD II: Scene II - Universal Exports

Alcatraz! Did I say Alcatraz? What was I smoking?

No Wait don’t answer that!

I was just cracking a little joke.

Our hero and heroin er.. heroine were in the World Showcase Lagoon. They swam to Odyssey Center. Now anyone could confuse it with Alcatraz. Abandoned, ugly, empty, island to itself I mean how can you tell them apart?

“This place looks like and old abandoned prison.” Dan says to his wet bikini clad compatriot as if to prove my point. (Eros I’m thinking Ursula Andress here)

“Yeah. Ugly, Abandoned, Island to Itself, looks like Alcatraz. Anyone could confuse them.” She agrees. “Here in this door,” she says pulling Dan towards a very non descript entry marked Universal Exports

Realizing that she is about to enter into his cover job and find that it is a spy control center he attempts to steer her away. Too late she is through the door. Fortunately there is a false facade facing them.

The receptionist looks up at them glancing between the two of them with quizzical looks. Her eyes clearly recognized Dan. Dan realizes that arriving with company is the source of confusion.

“Right, ah hello.” Dan says behaving as if he doesn’t know his own headquarters. Seizing an idea he says, “Is there perhaps someplace this lovely lady could change out of these wet things - While I make inquiries within?” he asks the receptionist.

She responds, looking more confused and looking at Jen, “Why yes... of course. You will be wanting M, I suppose.”

Shocked that she would reveal a top secret code name but unwilling to breach security himself Dan looks blankly at the receptionist and simply states, “Why no I would we would just like to freshen up a bit.”

Jen stares at Dan as if he has lost his mind. The receptionist is bewildered. Dan steps off toward a restroom sign and says, “Now dear, I may be a bit detained changing out of these so if you are dried off first just wait for me outside.” He shoves Jen into the ladies room and steps into the men’s room glaring at the receptionist for risking a breach of security.

Dan changes, doubles back, checks the reception area and front for Jen but find no trace. He rushes past the receptionist tut-tutting about security and heads for M’s office. Moneypenny is there but the door to M’s office is closed.

Moneypenny is trying to get Dan’s attention in a soft low voice. Dan is fuming about the receptionist and is slow on the pickup.

“Dan! Listen there isn’t much time. Kev has gone missing.” She hisses

“I thought he multi story deal? He didn't get all emotional again did he?” Dan interrupts.

“No- Yes – No – I mean there is a new M and M wants…” she starts to whispers.

“M & M” Dan asks?

“No! M is in…”

“M is not Eminem! I can’t stand that rap crap!” Dan blurts out.

“No M is ..” The door to M’s office opens, “in” Moneypenny looks back at her screen as if Dan were just another office visitor. “You may go in now Dan. M is expecting you.”

Dan steps toward the open door more confused than ever but stops cold when he sees who is coming out....

Next Scene Who's M?

[Zurg]

bumping up a new scene posted late last night

[DaisyDebbie]

Oh I almost missed this one. Hmmmm, I'm intrigued :)

[glo]

oooh oooh....hurry up and write...I need to know who M is.... :)

[Zurg]

Originally posted by glo
oooh oooh....hurry up and write...I need to know who M is.... :)

Okay.

D,RMD II Scene III - M

Dan stood slack jawed as his wife walked out of M’s office saying, “It was so nice to meet you…” Then seeing Dan, “Oh hi Honey, I just met the nicest person.”

Dan is dumbstruck.
She wasn’t supposed to be here.
She wasn’t supposed to know his secret spy secrets.
M’s office defiantly is a secret agent secret.

Was his secret identity no longer secret?
(Is that enough of the word secret? Should I use clandestine or covert?
Clandestine Agent Man? Covert Agent Man? Nope – Secret it is! Or in this case was)
‘Have I been compromised?” Dan thought. Then knowing what secret agents are like and wondering if this was just a clever trick of Kev’s quickly wondered. ‘Has SHE been compromised.’
Dan was getting a little jealous and a little mad.

Seeing the confusion in his face Jen said, “I could have sworn someone took my picture when I came out of the restroom. I was a little flustered by that. This nice lady helped calm me down.”

Jen stepps aside and there is a woman behind her. Dan hadn’t noticed this other woman at first because she wasn’t very tall and Jen had been blocking her form his view.

The petite woman smiles at Jen and says goodbye. Then turning to Dan her expression becomes tougher. “Come in please” she says curtly.

Dan follows into the office still confused.

“What was she… who are… Kev..” Dan babbles.

“I am M.” the diminutive woman says.

Dan is still babbling. As if to make a point she dope slaps Dan up side the head saying, “Get a grip Dan, it is 2002. Women can break the glass ceiling.”

It did the trick Dan regains his composure. “Glo.” He says in recognition. “Chat Moderator Glo.”

“Yes” Glo says “I have been assigned the roll of M – Do you have a problem serving under a woman?”

Dan smirks

Glo Dope slaps him again.

“Ouch!”

(ed note: You think that there will be a lot of that with Glo in charge?)

“Ok we face a new threat...” Glo starts.

“Maniacal megalomaniac threatens global conquest possible involving satellites in space?” Dan interjects in a smarmy know it all tone.

Dope slap. (You saw that one coming didn’t you?)

“Don’t interrupt me and loose the ‘tude. - I have twins – you’re an amateur compared to them.” Glo scolds Dan.

“.. we fear even more insidious.” Glo continued with the briefing. “I am sending the Zurg’s to Washington DC this afternoon to find out more but our fear is they will attempt to disrupt DIS CON II!

“We are putting all our best agents on the case. For security reasons exactly who, will be on a strictly need to know basis.” Glo continues.

“Well I, obviously, will need to know.” Dan says

“Obvious is it? Well you just met one of the newer ones now” Glo responds.

“What – you’re M not a field agent.” Dan quips shortly.

“I hate to repeat myself but, it is 2002. Women can break the glass ceiling.”

“Huh? Hey speaking of women – what happened to Kev? Last I saw him he was soaking in a Nyquil hot top with a bevy of babes.”

“The previous M was captured – you Neanderthal” Glo responds, “ – we fear he may be tortured for information on clandestine and covert operatives.

“What?” Dan

Dope Slap – “Hello in there, to squeal on secret agents secret identities. They may have turned him. That is why we are bringing in some new people and limiting what people know.” Glo replies and muttering under her breath, “in your case limiting what you know isn’t so hard.” Adding more loudly “I’m Sending the Zurgs to DC this weekend.”

“Will Zurg be writing a lot of scenes like he did for D,RMD I?” Dan asks.

“Depends – Zurg is a vain and egotistical artist – notice he changed his name? – he writes more when the audience responds with a lot of thread views and replies.” Glo states mater of fact.

“What are you trying to say?” Dan objects. “You make Zurg out to be a petty self centered publicity hound. He represented me as legal council over that unfortunate Jellyrolls misunderstanding.”

“My point exactly!” Glo states.

A hand materializes above Glo and gives her a dope slap.

“See what I mean.” She says rubbing her head.

“What is significant about Zurg in DC?” Dan asks getting back to the story line.

“It means not be writing again till next week sometime while the family plays tourist.” Glo states.

“I though the Disney Historic Park project near DC was Killed?” Dan observes.

“It was.”

“Zurg is going on a vacation where there isn’t a Disney Theme park! – I don’t believe it!” Dan exclaims.

“Nore does anyone else. He claims it is a field trip for the kids. Our intel. department figures Zurgswife got a smoking deal on hotel rooms that pays tons of frequent flyer miles she can use for Disney.” Glo says puzzled.

“Yeah – It is the only thing that makes any sense.” Dan
.

.

.
“See y’all when we get back” Zurg.

[CarolG]

:teeth: LOL!

Maybe you need a table of contents on page 1!:p :p :p

[glo]

oooooh, me think I am going to really enjoy this installment...How dare you go on vacation!!!!

[DaisyDebbie]

ROTFLMBO!!!! I smell a new title Glo, Dope Slap Queen! :teeth:

[glo]

lol...I was Dope Slapping on day in chat....I guess it made an impression on ZURG!!!! I feel powerful ;)

[klombar]

Originally posted by Zurg

“Huh? Hey speaking of women – what happened to Kev? Last I saw him he was soaking in a Nyquil hot top with a bevy of babes.”

“The previous M was captured – you Neanderthal” Glo responds, “ – we fear he may be tortured for information on clandestine and covert operatives.

” Zurg.

CAPTURED! I hope I was tied up!

[glo]

Keep hoping Kev!!!! ;)

[Buz]

Dope Slapping on day in chat....I guess it made an impression

Sure did, an impression the shape of your hand.

Ha!

Now we need a new TLA (Three Letter Acronym) for Glo, DSQ!!

Buz

[DaisyDebbie]

DSQ -- I love it!

:smooth: