To any DVC widows or widowers...

[DVC Grammy]

I recently lost my DH to brain cancer and I'm not sure if I can go to WDW without him. We used to go 3-4 times a year, usually just the two of us. WE were the kids, not our grown children.

If any of you DVCers have gone through this, please tell me how. Part of me wants to sell so that WDW remains my "laughing place", not become my crying place, where everything there reminds me of him.

Thank you for any helpful advice you can give me.

[njmeisje]

Grammy, my heart goes out to you. I cannot say that I can even imagine how hard this must be for you. I can only offer you my empathy.

I would not recommend you go alone. I think you are right, that you need to go with the goal of celebrating your husband and all the memories you two have made there. Do you have a really good friend, that knew your husband, that might be willing to go with you the first time back without him? Someone who can help you walk down memory lane for part of it...and to help you begin your own new memories to layer on top?

Forgive me if this is a naive suggestion. I just wish you the best, and will keep you in my thoughts.

Diane

[donmil723]

My deepest condolences on your loss. Although I have not been in your current position, I can relate to you and your DH being the "kids" at WDW. My first thought would be that your DH would want you to continue to go to WDW because he knows you found lots of enjoyment and happiness there in the past. I agree with the previous poster that you shouldn't go alone for the first time but with a friend or family member. Hopefully, in time, you will be able to enjoy WDW again. Best wishes!

[KirstenB]

I'm really sorry.:hug: I don't have anything to add, I think the posters above me have some really good thoughts. I hope you'll go back.

[mytwoboys]

I recently lost my DH to brain cancer and I'm not sure if I can go to WDW without him. We used to go 3-4 times a year, usually just the two of us. WE were the kids, not our grown children.

If any of you DVCers have gone through this, please tell me how. Part of me wants to sell so that WDW remains my "laughing place", not become my crying place, where everything there reminds me of him.

Thank you for any helpful advice you can give me.

I haven't been through the same situation and can't over any advice, I can only say that I am sorry for your loss :hug: . I can say that our family is from Killeen-Fort Hood, and while we are not blood related, we share the love of Disney with you. If you ever wanted to meet us there at WDW (or here) we could try booking the same resort near each other, we could always have lunch together in Austin and rehash all of the moments from the trip together. My Mom is on her 50's and we have 2 under 3, we've only been once so far and could use some expert info :)

[TiffBiff]

I lost my husband unexpectantly last December at the age of 44 (I was 34, DS was 2.5 and DD 2 months). We were waiting for DS to get old enough to enjoy Disney before spending the money for the trip. After he passed, I took the kids along with my SIL & FIL just to get away and have fun. And now I am the owner of 180pts @ SSR & 160pts @ AKV. I will be doing yearly trips from now on. Do not give up what you love because you are afraid it will make you sad. Instead, go and remember all the fun times the 2 of you had. If I were you, I would hold off on selling and just see how you feel. Some of the best advice I got was to wait atleast a year before making any major decision about getting rid of material things, that way you are not in the fog (at least not as deep) and can think clearer to whether you want it or not.

{{{HUGS}}}

[jlewisinsyr]

Deepest respect and sympathy here.

I would have a hard time going without my partner. We've been together for over 7 years, and prior to meeting him, I was not the biggest Disney fan (not that I didn't like it, just never found the interest). Things have changed though and I enjoy going, spending time there, and losing him would make it really hard to continue to do that.

I agree with others though and you do have to start somewhere and maybe it is going with someone else, and building new memories, and rejoicing the old ones.

[LadyTrampScamp&Angel]

DVC Grammy, I am so sorry for your loss. I can totally understand your feelings.

I would suggest however, that unless there's a financial need for the money you would get from DVC, that you make NO decision regarding it's sale for at least a year. You said you lost your DH recently. Give it time, there's probably nothing that will change your grieving right now. Regarding DVC or anything else that's a big decision - you might want to sit with it for awhile and let things settle. You may have a different perspective as time passes, maybe not, but you won't have to regret a sale.

Maybe bank those points this year and see how you feel the next year.

Just my 2 cents and again, I am so sorry for your loss :grouphug:

[SunnieRN]

I am so sorry for your loss ((((((((Hugs))))))))), I agree with the above advice to wait a year. I wrote you a p.m. about what my Dad has gone through since the loss of my Mom last year...well a little over a year ago now.
Please feel free to p.m. me or call if you need to talk!

[DisDaydreamer]

Grammy, I am so sorry. I can only imagine I understand how you're feeling. DW and I have been together 35 years since we were both 16. I get tears just thinking about the possibility of losing her.

I too suggest you wait to make any decisions. You may find later that it makes you smile and remember good things to be there.

[CarolAnnC]

My deepest sympathies to you on your loss.

We purchased DVC in 1997 and my husband passed very suddenly in 2000. We loved Disney, we had two daughters in their teens at the time of his death. It was difficult prior to our first Disney trip - we had a cruise booked for only two months after his death. I gave my girls the option to cancel, but they wanted to still go.

Seeing the parks that he loved so much was painful, but life in general was just so painful at the time anyway. When we had been at WDW a few months prior to his death, he had promised the girls he would take them on Rock n Roller Coaster which would be open the next time. This was not to be - but I went ahead and rode it with them, hoping to fulfill one of his last promises (though I detest those kinds of rides, lol).

We now love to think of him when we visit WDW and remember all the good, fun times we had. Memories last forever...

[Chic]

I'm very sorry to hear about your loss. My wife and I have been visiting Disney since 1998. We visit Disney World 6 times a year so we have accumulated a million memories there together. I cannot even begin to imagine going there without her. Disney is "our" place together. I first visited Disneyland in 1968 with my parents when I was 3 years old. My mom passed away at 52 years of age from cancer. I have since visited Disneyland several times and experienced wonderful memories of our past time there together. I can still see my mom smiling, riding Small World, and eating popcorn on Main Street. It's really rewarding to see the classic attractions remaining in the parks and being kept in the same condition they were when we went as kids. When I pass, I hope my family still visits Disney and celebrates all the joy it brought into my life during my time in this world. My wife and I always joke and say that when my time comes, my spirit will be sitting on a bench in front of Sleeping Beauty's Castle in Disneyland. We plan to meet there even though she won't be able to see me. If the man above will allow me to do this, I hope my wife comes to sit beside of me and continue the magic until we are together forever.

[mmcguire]

I am so very sorry for your loss. :hug:

I can't imagine what it's like to lose a spouse, but I lost my mom on Mother's Day and asked myself many of the same questions you are probably asking. Mom went on every trip to WDW with us since 1994. Our kids have never been without her. It was her absolute favorite place to be, and we would spend months planning our trips.

On the drive down to WDW in August, we all wondered aloud if WDW was going to make us sad now. The answer for us was no. We did think of her many times throughout the trip, but they were happy memories, not sad ones.

I think you've gotten some good advice about waiting before doing anything drastic. I'd also recommend at least one trip to WDW to see how it "feels" before you decide anything.

Best wishes.

[spiceycat]

sympathy with you.

going back to WDW after losing someone, who loved WDW, can be painfully.

we couldn't even go main street with out crying - so we went to Epcot - she died before Epcot was open.

with him always going to WDW - guess that won't work for you - you probably have good memories in every park.

did you also go to VB or HH with him? if not maybe go there next year - and in 2010 - then think about going back to WDW.

[dudelydude]

**sigh**

Grammy, one thing about losing a loved one is that it gets better with time. I know that you know this, but let me remind you. For all my losses, I started day one by laying in bed, calling in sick to work and...well...crying quite a bit. Day two and three the same. Day four, woke up realizing that I hadn't showered or brushed my teeth in 4 days. Carried on, but stil found it hard to look at photos or momentos, so stuffed those in a drawer. Talked to as many people that would listen just to ease the pain. Cleaned the house from top to bottom in consecutive days as I find that therapeutic. Paying bills, organizing files, etc also helps.

As days passed I started to function a bit more and as months passed, I still woke every morning and went to sleep each night thinking of the person...but...I was finally starting to feel OK. It still hurt, but I was OK enough to pull the pictures back out of the drawer. I slowly re-introduced myself to the things that my loved one liked to do...see where I am going with this?

No matter how hard life seems without a loved one, time heals all. As for Disney and your DVC, bank your points and take some time. Next year or in2010, plan to take your children (and DGC?) to WDW, so you have a lot of love around you to help with the memories. Talk about what DH liked and do some things in his honor. It may be better to face these things as a means of not stalling the healing process. You know...face your fears and all that mumbo jumbo.

I know that eventually you will be able to think of DH and laugh more instead of cry.

:hug: Joe

[wildernessDad]

Grammy,

I am very sorry to hear about the loss of your DH. I have missed you on the boards, wondering where you were.

I remember your love for the F&W festival and your wonderful posts.

I recommend considering renting your points for a year or so until you are able to go and be happy again, if that is possible.

I believe that WDW can be your laughing place. You just need time to heal.

[RachelTori]

Grammy, I am so sorry for your loss. :hug:

I can only echo the advice others have given here. It may be best to bank points and wait awhile before you even think of going back. And when you do go again, go with someone - family or a good friend. Hopefully in time you'll be able to recall all those happy WDW memories you and your husband had with joy, not pain. :grouphug:

[granmanh603]

grammy, so sorry to hear of your loss....I think you may have answered my question a few time....I agree with all that have posted here...just give it time before you do anything.....I wish you the best....:grouphug:

[Disneypirate85]

Grammy
I too am so sorry to hear of your loss. You have been given ALOT of good sound advice in the last 2 pages of post's. And I can only add to them, rent the points out or just bank them. But don't give up!:grouphug: to you, Take care Grammy, it is good to see you back on the board.

[DeblovesPoohbear]

Lots of great advise and I just wanted to send you a big hug :hug:
So sorry for your loss

[mvc1997]

Grammy, my heart goes out to you. I cannot say that I can even imagine how hard this must be for you. I can only offer you my empathy.

I would not recommend you go alone. I think you are right, that you need to go with the goal of celebrating your husband and all the memories you two have made there. Do you have a really good friend, that knew your husband, that might be willing to go with you the first time back without him? Someone who can help you walk down memory lane for part of it...and to help you begin your own new memories to layer on top?

Forgive me if this is a naive suggestion. I just wish you the best, and will keep you in my thoughts.

Diane

We are so sorry for your loss!
I think Diane gave some excellent advice.
We will keep you in our thoughts and prayers.
God Bless!

[5forDiz]

Grammy we are so sorry for your loss and send our prayers & :grouphug:
to you and your family.

Give yourself some more time before deciding what to do on your dvc & future visiting at WDW. I know there are a lot of memories & emotions attached to times spent there with your DH and although it will be difficult I think you and your family may find it to be an important part of his legacy so to speak - a place to reflect on those memories while creating new ones.

Perhaps in addition to travelling with your own family maybe also take along family or friends who are newbies or have never been to WDW & that will help you feel some of that joy & love that you both experienced there as you bring it into the lives of others.

God Bless & Peace to you & yours
( and to others here who've lost
dear loved ones as well)

~ Laura, Joe & family

[janni518]

Really nothing to add other than my deepest condolences and a huge :hug:.


Do you have any idea what your dh would have wanted? That may be a place to start.

[lck33]

Grammy,

I don't have anything to add, all the advice you have been given is great. Give yourself some time. I just really want to let you know that my thoughts and prayers go out to you and yours. A BIG :hug: to you. And know that we are all here for you.:grouphug:

LC

[DisDaydreamer]

I lost my husband unexpectantly last December at the age of 44 (I was 34, DS was 2.5 and DD 2 months). We were waiting for DS to get old enough to enjoy Disney before spending the money for the trip. After he passed, I took the kids along with my SIL & FIL just to get away and have fun. And now I am the owner of 180pts @ SSR & 160pts @ AKV. I will be doing yearly trips from now on. Do not give up what you love because you are afraid it will make you sad. Instead, go and remember all the fun times the 2 of you had. If I were you, I would hold off on selling and just see how you feel. Some of the best advice I got was to wait atleast a year before making any major decision about getting rid of material things, that way you are not in the fog (at least not as deep) and can think clearer to whether you want it or not.

{{{HUGS}}}

Welcome to the DISboards. I want to offer my thoughts for you too. Hope you are ok. You are much too young to have this happen.

[nunzia]

:hug:
Nothing to add, just sending you a hug

[jimmytammy]

I am so sorry for your loss. I will pray that God grant you peace and comfort in the coming days.

As many others have said here, I would hang on to those points, for now. Give yourself time and space to adjust to all aspects of your life.

Your memories will always be there. And in time, the hurt you have dealt with will be replaced with those wonderful memories.

[MiaSRN62]

Grammy and TiffBiff...
My deepest condelences.
I can't say I've ever experienced losing a spouse, but one can't help but think about what would happen from time to time. We are both in our mid 40's, but anything can happen and it does scare and sadden me to think about how either of us would feel about going to our "laughing" place should we lose one or the other. We did lose my dh's mother in 2004 who was a huge disney fan and our trips to WDW to bring back memories of the fun times the kids and us had with her there.

I can't say I know what you're going through emotionally right now. I can't say I know what I'd do in the same situation. It's got to be very difficult.
So I say, wait a little while longer Grammy. Until you feel more ready. Here's hoping that, in time, you will be able to go back to WDW and recall all those fond and cherished memories you shared with your dh. Big hugs to you :hug:

[Cee]

God bless you. In time, my hope is that you may once again relate Disney with
wonderful memories of your DH and going again will give you peace and happiness and maintain your connection with him. I am so very sorry for your
pain. The heart is the only machine that can break and still "work". This is all
a part of making you the woman you are meant to be. All the best to you and
your family.

[twinklebug]

Hi Grammy,

My uncle just lost my aunt to thyroid cancer (well, it's been almost a year, but it still feels as though I should be able to get online and IM her) It hit fast & hard and when she researched her options she decided her best one was to let it run it's course. :sad1:

Anyway ...

Many years back, my Aunt and uncle had moved to the orlando area, just outside of Disney because they love it so much - there was no family there and their grown boys had gone off to different states, so why not indulge in what they loved?

When my Aunt passed my uncle went over to Disney to ask about a partial refund on her AP - it was among the hardest things he ever had to do as he felt her death also meant the end of the chapter on Disney. Disney could not refund the AP, but offered him a free renewal on his.... with time he slowly realized then that he might still be able to enjoy what they had loved together, but to show his kids and grand kids what she and he had loved together about the world (EPCOT was her favorite)

Right now we're making plans to be with my parents in the area over the holidays and I really hope to go with my uncle over to EPCOT and learn more about what he loves / what my aunt loved (parrots in Morocco?) and they enjoyed together & to make new memories my kids can enjoy for years to come involving my parents and Uncle.

I don't know if this helped with your decision, I'm not telling you what to do, just asking you give it time. :sad1: :hug:

[carolinadj]

Grammy, I agree with the suggestions of the others who have posted in this thread as well. In time, when you visit WDW, your husband's spirit will be felt at certain moments while you're there and you will smile at the memories that come to mind. So maybe it won't be your "laughing place" in the same way it was before, but it can indeed be your "smiling place" after you've had time to heal. You will eventually get to a place where you can create new memories with other loved ones while still cherishing the ones you had with your DH.

If later you find that going doesn't bring you the joy you want it to, you can always sell at that time. If you make the decision to sell too soon, while you're hurting, you may come to regret the choice you made.

You will know the right thing to do when you need to know it. In the meantime, come to this board for support. Everyone here understands.

[TenThousandVolts]

no advice, just hugs :grouphug: and well wishes.
:flower3: I am so sorry for your loss

[DVC Grammy]

To all of you who have expressed your sympathy and given me encouragement, both on the Disboard and in pms, thank you.
I have tentatively decided to honor my DH's wishes that I still go on our reserved January trip. Two of my "heart" friends would join me, separately for each week, and I'm hoping it will be a healing time. When, and if, I get through that, I'll be able to bring our grown children and their families, and help them heal, too.

[PamOKW]

My sincerest sympathy to you. I think you've been given good advice. Don't do anything yet.

Your husband wants you to be happy. If you find that trips to Disney still bring a smile to your face that will be a way to honor him and the life you had together.

While not as deep as a spouse, I enjoyed my Disney vacations with my parents -- especially my father who loved those trips. I wasn't sure if I would be able to go back without them....but eventually I did. You might want to try new things....stay new places, change up the plans -- maybe go to the spa etc. Create a new way of enjoying Disney that doesn't remind you of who isn't there with you. You can't recreate what "was" but you can have new memories with new people.

[TammyAlphabet]

I recently lost my DH to brain cancer and I'm not sure if I can go to WDW without him. We used to go 3-4 times a year, usually just the two of us. WE were the kids, not our grown children.

If any of you DVCers have gone through this, please tell me how. Part of me wants to sell so that WDW remains my "laughing place", not become my crying place, where everything there reminds me of him.

Thank you for any helpful advice you can give me.

Please accept my condolences on your loss. I unfortunately do understand how you feel. Your partner in life has been ripped out of your life. Nothing feels the same anymore. I think you should do whatever feels right. You will be reminded of him alot but you would be thinking of him alot even if you didn't go. Plus, it will offer some distraction from the heavy grief. I went on the WB Repo a few months after my DH died and it was a very welcome respite from the daily routine. More than previous vacations. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

[DeeCee735]

My sincerest condolences to you and your family on your loss.
I can't even begin to offer advice on this, I think you need to give yourself a whole lot of time before making a final decision on DVC.

Again, my condolences....

[eva]

You have been given some good advice so far. I can't imagine what you must be going through. Just the thought of losing my DH has me crying right now. It would be very bitter sweet to visit WDW without him. I have no idea how I could ever do it. But as many have mentioned, time does tend to change things. So I would wait to make a final decision on your points.

This post reminds me of the first trip to WDW that my DMIL took with us after my DFIL passed. Everything seemed just fine. We were even able to finally goad her into riding Thunder Mountain. But the minute that she got off of TM she started to cry. We were so afraid that it had frightened her. But when DH asked her what was wrong, she said, "I can't believe I would never ride that with your Father when he was alive. He tried and tried to get me on that roller coaster. And now that he is gone I finally got up the nerve to do it and realized it wasn't scary at all." DH told her that the only reason she could ride it now was because DFIL was there to take away the fear. Not sure that helped. But the rest of the trip was wonderful. And we all talked about the rides, restaurants, etc. that he liked. It was a wonderful memorial type of trip.

My prayers are with you. And also the hope that you are able to have great memories of your DH on your upcoming trip in January.

[kikiq]

Sending you lots of hugs.:grouphug:

My mom and dad took us to DLR growing up and when I got married, I took them to WDW. In 1999, my mom had a WDW/DCL family vacation planned for December. She passed away suddenly in July. We were all stunned and my dad decided that mom would want us to go. While there we bought two bricks, one for our families and one in her memory. Was it hard? Yes, but my dad walked around the Poly showing my DDs all the places he and mom walked and her favorite WDW places (one was the old Disney villas, walking around the lake. Which is why SSR is so special for us).

This past summer we went again with my brother's family and Dad. It was so cute to hear him tell his youngest DGD about mom and WDW. You do have wonderful memories and please remember someday you will be able to share those memories with your DGC.

[dizney4us]

My heart goes out to you Grammy:hug:
I am so sorry for your loss.

[cindymouse6]

Grammy, I have a very similar situation.... my husband died while I was at WDW for the Oct.1, 1996 25th anniversary... he wasn't feeling well and begged another family member to go with me.... my stepmother's first cousin's wife who was on maternity leave. Widow at 32...

Honestly, I was at OKW and will never stay in that building again.... everytime I pass the building (have stayed at OKW many times since), I get a chill. That will never go away. I have sinced remarried and had kids and moved on.... with fabulous memories.

I first came back 3 months later with my mother and brother and 4yo niece.... seeing Disney thru a first timers eyes, especially a child, was great therapy.... remembering why Walt created this place to begin with helped me heal and find laughter again... I'd cry, laugh, cry, smile for the pix, cry, laugh, etc. Eventually the crying gets less and the laughter becomes more frequent until you become at ease with the pain.

You must replace the pain with new memories... celebrating your favorite places, your rituals... those things don't have to die... they are a part of you that goes on and should. He would want you to remember, laugh, celebrate your past while creating new and lasting memories.

I don't know your personal situation, but I agree with the others... don't sell unless you financially need to. If you love vacationing at Disney, then you should continue the traditions with someone new.... be it family, friend, etc. Be generous and give points to someone who can't afford to go and give them a gift... I did that as well... to a single mom... at the time free admission was part of the membership (prior to 2000) and it gave me such a warm feeling to know I was able to give that same experience we had shared with someone else who wouldn't have been otherwise able.... that was therapeutic.

I have since remarried, had kids and bought additional contracts 2 going on 3 times now. I'll always remember our memories, and every year it is easier... been 12 years now... and I can even laugh at what he would have found funny or would have loved to do... but now I share that with someone new and spread the magic in a different way.

Good luck and my prayers are with you.

[PSC]

Grammy - so sorry for your loss. My DW and I lost an adult son this year and I can tell you from personal experience that there are places at BWV and the rest of WDW that bring back strong memories of him. I can only tell you that we have been able to enjoy ourselves on our recent trips, but that we have definitely taken a few moments to reflect and grieve.

Our first trip back we went with good friends who had never been. We got to see WDW through new eyes. Our friends respected our memories and encouraged us to talk about them as they came back. We are fortunate in having friends who do not try to avoid talking about our son, but realize the therapeutic value they provide by just listening. Too many people avoid the subject of our loss in an effort to not upset us.

[TomD]

Grammy,
Sorry for your lose. I lost my dad last year to brain Cancer. It does get better with time. My mom is living proof of that. Every day is a new challenge for her and she meets it head on. some days are bettter then others.

Good luck and you will be in my prayers

Tom

[DVCJones]

Hi DVC Grammy,

First, I want to send you a BIG:hug: I am so sorry for your loss.

Perhaps you could wait a year or two before you make that kind of decision. Maybe you could go with your kids and grandchildren now. It won't be the same, but you may find a way to continue to enjoy WDW.

As a kid my father took my family to WDW every year. It was his "happy place". He was always telling us how he couldn't wait to take his grandchildren there some day. Sadly, that never happened. He passed away before he saw any of his grandchildren. Now, years later, I take my kids there every year like he did for me. Every year while at WDW, I always think of him and all the fun times we had there. Different locations in WDW will trigger a memory of my dad. I know he is watching me and my family enjoying what he loved. This thought always brings a smile to my face.

It would have been nice to have been able to share these trips with him, but there is comfort in all the memories and knowing he would want me to continue with the tradition. Maybe in time you can find the strength to continue your traditions and remember all the happy times you both shared there.:hug:

[shelby101301]

I just wanted to say I am so sorry for your loss. Your post brought tears to my eyes. I very much hope you find your laughing place again

[Eventer98]

I also want to say I am sorry for your loss...I can only hope that you will be able to return to your happy place in the future and know your DH is there with you. :hug:

[LindaBabe]

DVC Grammy, My deepest sympathy on your loss. I haven't got the words to express my sorrow for you. But, you've been given some good advice that certainly worked for us when my father (with whom we lived) passed. Tincture of time, we were told. and it was true.

If you'd like to meet with a fellow DIS granny, I'll be at the world for the entire month of January, and would be pleased to meet you. Just pm.

[allaboutmm]

:flower3: sorry for your loss.

[Inkmahm]

Grammy, I agree with the suggestions of the others who have posted in this thread as well. In time, when you visit WDW, your husband's spirit will be felt at certain moments while you're there and you will smile at the memories that come to mind. So maybe it won't be your "laughing place" in the same way it was before, but it can indeed be your "smiling place" after you've had time to heal. You will eventually get to a place where you can create new memories with other loved ones while still cherishing the ones you had with your DH.

If later you find that going doesn't bring you the joy you want it to, you can always sell at that time. If you make the decision to sell too soon, while you're hurting, you may come to regret the choice you made.

You will know the right thing to do when you need to know it. In the meantime, come to this board for support. Everyone here understands.

I can't imagine goint to WDW without my spouse. We go several times each year and it is also our "laughing place". I'm crying just reading this thread and thinking about not having my DH in my life at some point. Not sure I could make it.

I can relate to going to WDW after the loss of a loved one though. I took my parents several times in 2001 and 2002 before my died died. Just this year we took my mom again for the first time since his death. We all have wonderful memories of being in the parks with dad so I think of him often when we are there. "Smiling place" is a great description.

Give yourself the gift of time. It will be rough, but it will get easier to go back. I only hope I can follow my own advice someday if it is me in the position of having lost my DH.

[DisneyHumbug]

WDW was my DH's happy place. The first trip back without him was the hardest. Now I try and go 2-3 times a year, it brings me great comfort. As time goes by, you realize life goes on, with you or without you.

[JimC]

I am so very saddened by your loss. Although not quite the same, I lost my Mom this past May, the day after Mother's Day. We were vacationing at VB the week before and had to drive her back to Orlando to be admitted to Florida East.

My Mom lived with us and went to Disney on our trips these past two years. Returning to Disney this summer and fall had some sad times, but more often the memories were good and I am happy to have them. When we made reservations to VB for next May my wife asked if we should do something different (thinking that VB might be a more difficult place at that time). We will return next May to VB and I am sure there will be more sad moments, but I will focus on the good memories.

At some point I will face this again with the loss of my wife and while I know it will be difficult at first, over time I will gain comfort being where we have enjoyed so many good times.

I firmly believe that over time the cold emptiness and pain created by such loss will be filled with warm memories of good and happy times. I hope this is so for you as well.

[Straughn]

Grammy-
This response comes from someone who has walked in your shoes. I lost DH to metastatic melanoma in August 2007. We had purchased DVC in February 2004 because we spent so much time at WDW it seemed like the thing to do. It was always just the two of us. DH thought Disney was a golf resort and had played all the courses many times. We both enjoyed the restaurants. We were reserved for several days over New Year's Eve 2007- a trip I was not about to make. I cancelled that and rebooked a solo trip for ten days later in January 2008. On the one year anniversary of his death, I spent several days at Vero Beach and at AKL--solo. I am about to go on my third solo trip since his death next week.

On the first trip, I distinctly remember being on the bus from MK to the BW. As we drove by the Palm and Magnolia golf courses, I shed a few quiet tears. I still cannot bring myself to book a dinner reservation at California Grill as that was his favorite restaurant. I may try just going up for a glass of wine on the trip next week. I had a private chuckle on Expedition Everest because I remembered his first time on it and his reaction to it. Everytime I walk by Space Mountain I remember the first time he talked me into riding it- it was not a pleasant experience.

The point to all this is that you can continue to enjoy WDW without your husband. Yes, there will be moments when something jogs a memory of the two of you. But, as we both know, that happens many times, in many places, beside WDW.

I know this has been said by many of the previous posters- It does get easier. Time does help. I can now do a lot of things that I could not bring myself to do in the first few months after his death. Do not give up on Disney because you no longer have your husband. You will learn to enjoy life without him. I know that seems almost impossible now, but I can tell you that things will get better.

[wdwaholic2]

First, I'm sorry for your loss.

Secondly, maybe you can do something good for someone else this year by donating your points to either an organization for a raffle or to a soldier who could take his/her family to the happiest place on earth when being deployed or on block leave from a deployment...or better yet...to reaquint a family after a deployment.

Next year, sit and think...can I do this? I'm with so many of the other posters when they say to give it time before you make a decision.

All the best.

[DVC Grammy]

Again, thank you to all who have written encouraging words.

As I mentioned, I have asked friends to accompany me, each for about a week in January, and I am finding that their enthusiasm is re-awakening some of mine. I realize that although my DH and I, together, loved WDW, we also individually loved it.

This first trip without him will still be difficult, but I have enough faith that I'll be okay, that I went ahead and booked a week during F & G for me and my adult DH, and am in the process of arranging a September trip to bring one of my sons and his family with me. This will be the first time that this granddaughter (5) will see WDW, so that alone will make it a celebration! She'll be able to see and share all the things that "Poppy" loved in WDW.

[mamaprincess]

Again, thank you to all who have written encouraging words.

As I mentioned, I have asked friends to accompany me, each for about a week in January, and I am finding that their enthusiasm is re-awakening some of mine. I realize that although my DH and I, together, loved WDW, we also individually loved it.

This first trip without him will still be difficult, but I have enough faith that I'll be okay, that I went ahead and booked a week during F & G for me and my adult DH, and am in the process of arranging a September trip to bring one of my sons and his family with me. This will be the first time that this granddaughter (5) will see WDW, so that alone will make it a celebration! She'll be able to see and share all the things that "Poppy" loved in WDW.


I'm so proud of you DVC Grammy. May your future trips be blessed with lots of love and support and beautiful memories of your beloved DH.:wizard: :hug:

[kato0627]

Grammy
First off, I am so sorry for your loss!! Like many here, I too have suffered a loss. I just lost my mother in Sept to Lung Cancer. There is not an hour of any day that I do not think of her. Often I wonder, what would mom want me to do. Sounds as if your DH loved you, and loved DVC. I am guessing he would want you to do what you are doing. Share the magic with family and friends. I am so glad you are planning future trips, before making any decisions. Please know you are in my prayers. Losing someone is never easy.
I feel your pain!! Wishing you some bright days ahead.:grouphug: :grouphug:

[Sandy321]

Again, thank you to all who have written encouraging words.

As I mentioned, I have asked friends to accompany me, each for about a week in January, and I am finding that their enthusiasm is re-awakening some of mine. I realize that although my DH and I, together, loved WDW, we also individually loved it.

This first trip without him will still be difficult, but I have enough faith that I'll be okay, that I went ahead and booked a week during F & G for me and my adult DH, and am in the process of arranging a September trip to bring one of my sons and his family with me. This will be the first time that this granddaughter (5) will see WDW, so that alone will make it a celebration! She'll be able to see and share all the things that "Poppy" loved in WDW.

Wishing you the best...

on another thread a Dis'er also shared her pain of her loss of her dh and how to go on, I remember someone mentioned adding to his memory, by either bringing a momento, his picture, or something special - as well as someone suggested the time honored, getting a balloon, writing something on it, and releasing it -

thank you for taking the time to share with us...

[DVC Grammy]

Wishing you the best...

on another thread a Dis'er also shared her pain of her loss of her dh and how to go on, I remember someone mentioned adding to his memory, by either bringing a momento, his picture, or something special - as well as someone suggested the time honored, getting a balloon, writing something on it, and releasing it -

thank you for taking the time to share with us...

Sandy321,
The idea of releasing a balloon with DH's name on it is wonderful; he would have loved it! This will be a tradition that I will begin in January, and will continue on each future trip.
Thank you so much for sharing it.

[tomandrobin]

I am lost for words. :grouphug:

Healing takes time and we all do it in our own unique way. Your loss saddens me and I am sorry for your loss. You can not forget or replace those memories you have with your husband. Hopefully when you can recall them, they are with joy of the times you shared.

[JerJan]

Hi DVC Grammy.... I lost my husband (unexpectedly) on July 12th to colon cancer, he was 49 years old. The last thing that he said to me was don't forget to take the girls to Disney (DD16 & DD8) and tell them that I love them! We (all of us) were scheduled to leave for VBR and SSR on August 5. I asked the girls and at their insistence we went on the trip...it was the BEST DECISION I could have made! We talked about "DADDY" alot and saw a SHOOTING STAR" at VBR that my youngest daughter swears was her Daddy, telling her that everything was going to be okay!

We just got back from VBR on October 20th...we took a long weekend and I could honestly "FEEL HIS PRESENCE at times..... Disney was our special place." I feel closer to him at Disney and in his home office than anywhere else in the world! Yes, sometimes it makes me cry...but crying is good IMHO it's kind of like watering the soul!

Best of luck to you.........and I am so sorry for your loss.