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cindermomma
09-22-2008, 04:36 PM
We are having all kinds of issues with DS's (8) school this year. He is in 2nd grade. Alittle background...DS has horrible allergies(chronic sinutius, lots of mucus a lot..), and a very strong gag relflex and chokes easily due to this. He coughed at school 2 weeks ago and vomitted due to the cough and mucus. Most got into the waste basket, some missed. The office lady sent him up to get his backpack to go home. Then when he got back, she asked him to go clean up his vomit!!!! So, he did. (Superintendant didn't believe me when I called, but confirmed my DS was correct after talking to her!). The thing is with this...he also has a plan where he is to use an inhaler when he coughs this bad. They completely dis-reguarded this. This upsets me more than anything. Now, they are checking his lunch bag I pack everyday to see what he has eaten, if he has eaten enough to go outside for recess. I explained that I send many items for him to chose from, he'll eat what he can (mucus days...he'll avoid crackers, for example.) I also have a doctors note supporting the gag relux thing (it's not him just choosing not to eat certain things..he will choke). Well, today they (office personnel and school nurse) called him out of class to the office and told him to eat slowly, yada yada. Then they called him out again after they had spoken to me about his issues, to explain the "rules of the lunch room" and that they expect him to follow the rules. BTW, rules are all clean trays (or lunch boxes) may go 1st to recess, 1 item left next, 2 items, ect. I don't feel he should have to sit there when I am sending his lunch, and if they tell him he can't go, he'll try to eat more...then vomit. Any suggestions???? I don't know what to do. I feel they are more concerned with making the loves of the school personnel easier than the medical safety of my DS. Also I have no troubles with his teacher...all is well there! Am I crazy for being upset? Please no flames if they are out there. Thanks dis friends!

Steve's Girl
09-22-2008, 04:40 PM
Could your son's Dr. write a note to the school? I would think that they would have to follow Dr.'s orders.

TinaLala
09-22-2008, 04:43 PM
I think they are disregarding your doctor's notice about this issue. I understand they are afraid he'll get sick and the other kids will get sick, however if he's clearly got an issue they should be pulling his file and checking to see what to do. It sounds like the nurse didn't do that in this case. Also from what you said it's not an issue of him eating too much, it's an issue of his allergies and high mucus causing him to gag - correct? So why do they have him on food intake watch? Sounds like they're watching him like he's a bilemic and they're shoving food down his throat, but then being cautious about sending him out to recess after stuffing him like a turkey???

My DD6 has RSV and seasonal asthma. If we don't catch her early enough her lungs can fill up with fluid and she gets like that - mucus vomit. Been there!!

cindermomma
09-22-2008, 04:50 PM
Could your son's Dr. write a note to the school? I would think that they would have to follow Dr.'s orders.

We do have doctors notes..about the inhaler and the gagging.

CrAzY4DL
09-22-2008, 04:51 PM
You are not crazy!! This is ridiculous!! Since they are clearly not listening to you, the parent, or the doctors note, I would suggest making an appointment with the principal, secretary and nurse and possibly include the lunch ladies in on it. Bring in all documentation you have from doctor and state what you have said here. You and your son are the best judges of how much and what he can eat any given day and to 1. punish him for not finishing everything is RIDICULOUS and 2. isolating him from kids is just crazy because he is not contagious.

GRRR!!

Best of luck to you and please keep us posted!

cindermomma
09-22-2008, 04:54 PM
I think they are disregarding your doctor's notice about this issue. I understand they are afraid he'll get sick and the other kids will get sick, however if he's clearly got an issue they should be pulling his file and checking to see what to do. It sounds like the nurse didn't do that in this case. Also from what you said it's not an issue of him eating too much, it's an issue of his allergies and high mucus causing him to gag - correct? So why do they have him on food intake watch? Sounds like they're watching him like he's a bilemic and they're shoving food down his throat, but then being cautious about sending him out to recess after stuffing him like a turkey???

My DD6 has RSV and seasonal asthma. If we don't catch her early enough her lungs can fill up with fluid and she gets like that - mucus vomit. Been there!!


He sounds just like your daughter. Lots of mucus vomit. I told them I honestly don't care if he only eats one bite...he is 55 inches tall and 85 pounds, so he is not malnurished. They said they want them all to eat their lunch and won't make any special circumstances for him (only eat what he can with what I send that day). So, he'll have to sit there until the end of recess instead of going out. I just feel like I am paying for this food, and if he physically can't eat it that day, that's ok. I am sure you know some days are wayyyyy worse than others with the mucus.

Thanks for listening and for the replies! It's nice to have understanding friends!:goodvibes

cindermomma
09-22-2008, 04:57 PM
You are not crazy!! This is ridiculous!! Since they are clearly not listening to you, the parent, or the doctors note, I would suggest making an appointment with the principal, secretary and nurse and possibly include the lunch ladies in on it. Bring in all documentation you have from doctor and state what you have said here. You and your son are the best judges of how much and what he can eat any given day and to 1. punish him for not finishing everything is RIDICULOUS and 2. isolating him from kids is just crazy because he is not contagious.

GRRR!!

Best of luck to you and please keep us posted!

We actually had to fill out an asthma plan due to the inhaler for the seasonal use. Makes me so mad that they didn't follow doctors instructions. Thanks for the reply. I think you gave me really good advice. I am gonna make that appointment.

Tiffany_MommyOf3
09-22-2008, 05:05 PM
I personally think someone needs to challenge their eat everything rule. I mean talk about setting kids up for obesity!

GJM
09-22-2008, 05:15 PM
I agree with this. I send lunch with my DS (8) and I do send a bunch of things from him to pick from, I would never expect him to eat it all - Some days he eats good other days he doesn't.

You really need to go to the school and have a meeting with all involved.

cindermomma
09-22-2008, 05:16 PM
I agree with this. I send lunch with my DS (8) and I do send a bunch of things from him to pick from, I would never expect him to eat it all - Some days he eats good other days he doesn't.

You really need to go to the school and have a meeting with all involved.

That's exactly what I do! I told them I don't expect him to eat it! And I totally agree with the obesity comment...don't they read the newspaper?

cindermomma
09-22-2008, 05:20 PM
So, what do you guys think about the vomit cleaning thing? Anything like that happen to anyone here? I was Way more mad that they didn't monitor him and give him his inhaler. I just feel so uncomfortable with him at this school ( a new school, the 2nd - 4th grade is at a different location from what he had last year, so new office staff and the school nurse is only there M, W and F I think).

CrAzY4DL
09-22-2008, 05:24 PM
Ugh I forgot they had him clean up his own mess!! THAT IS RIDICULOUS as well!!! OMG, I am having issues FOR you, lol!!! Poor mama!!! :goodvibes

GJM
09-22-2008, 06:00 PM
I would be pretty mad that they made him clean up his own mess.

Teacher03
09-22-2008, 06:04 PM
I have never heard a rule about how much the students were expected to eat! That is ridiculous! I also would be upset if my child was asked to clean up his own vomit.

bzzymom
09-22-2008, 06:19 PM
I am very upset that a child had to clean up after himself, in part because it needs to be cleaned in the proper way, to ensure the safety of other kids as well.

DS, 11, has terrible outdoor allergies, but this fall has been the worst. A simple laugh would put him into a coughing fit. His nose was constantly draining. 2 weeks went by and it wasn't getting better. He wasn't vomiting, but he had no appetite. I took him to our allergist that is about 1 hour away and she saig that it was so bad that we had to put him on steroids (prednisone) for 5 days, and add an inhaler before any exertion, and add nasonex, and singulair as well. Normally he takes a zyrtec everyday. It is finally under better control.

I think that it is due to the fact that I enrolled him in public school this year, no air conditioning. He was in a private school k-5 that had air conditioning. I feel bad, but with the price of private school going up, and since I have been off of work for 16 months due to an injury, we needed to tighten up our belts.

I don't know how to help you with the school. It is terrible that he has to miss recess, socialization, exercise, and so on. Good luck to you.

SLK1
09-22-2008, 06:25 PM
Regarding "eat everything on your plate" rule, they give kids with special learning needs exceptions all the time, i.e, they don't get timed on tests, or they only get 10 spelling words versus 20. So, if they can do it for academics, they can do it for lunch. What a ridiculous rule anyway!! I would not only call on the principal, but the superintendent as well...this school needs some serious help.

As for cleaning his own mess, that is nonsense. That is what janitors are paid for. Maybe you can mention that you'd be happy to take your child's pay in small bills if it's more convenient since he did the work of a janitor!

dawnbu40
09-22-2008, 06:26 PM
The best advice I ever received from another mom at a school was that "You are your child's only advocate". The schools today are more concerned with keeping the staff happy then they are the children's welfare. If you make enough noise they will eventually listen to you mom! Keep at it..your son needs you! These kinds of things make me so glad that DD started college this year and I am past those days!!

snickerboo
09-22-2008, 06:30 PM
:eek: Well, I think, if I were you, I'd be rip-roarin' mad! Clean up his own vomit??? Did they think he should be punished for coughing so hard he throws up??? I think a letter from your Dr. explaining your child's needs and a sit-down with school administration is what's required here. I think they need to be much more accomodating and understanding of your son's condition.

Tiffa
09-22-2008, 06:52 PM
I did work at a school and we were told we cannot check lunch boxes since that is what the parent is sending to school we had no say (we wanted to say something to the parent that sent a donut and candy lunch everyday) We did have a child with reflux he even had a band put in, we knew what was needed, our nurses were aware, one of his teachers had what I call a "yuck" factor it just seemed to gross her out, for medical reasons I would fight for your son they have no say in your lunches or a Dr's diagnoses check your school's medical policy and use it against them if you have too, better yet check with your DISTRICT policy you will have a way better idea on what to do.

cindermomma
09-22-2008, 06:56 PM
I am very upset that a child had to clean up after himself, in part because it needs to be cleaned in the proper way, to ensure the safety of other kids as well.

DS, 11, has terrible outdoor allergies, but this fall has been the worst. A simple laugh would put him into a coughing fit. His nose was constantly draining. 2 weeks went by and it wasn't getting better. He wasn't vomiting, but he had no appetite. I took him to our allergist that is about 1 hour away and she saig that it was so bad that we had to put him on steroids (prednisone) for 5 days, and add an inhaler before any exertion, and add nasonex, and singulair as well. Normally he takes a zyrtec everyday. It is finally under better control.

I think that it is due to the fact that I enrolled him in public school this year, no air conditioning. He was in a private school k-5 that had air conditioning. I feel bad, but with the price of private school going up, and since I have been off of work for 16 months due to an injury, we needed to tighten up our belts.

I don't know how to help you with the school. It is terrible that he has to miss recess, socialization, exercise, and so on. Good luck to you.


Exactly! I am mad because I felt the cleaning of it was wrong, but the safety of others too! I cringe to think of how they clean up urine, feces or blood. The Superintendant said the office gal was busy and "razzled" that day and that it wouldn't happen again. I have to wonder with how the school is ran. I know what you mean about the AC. They told me last year it didn't make "fiscal" sense to turn it on. We live in Nebraska and the allergies are Horrible this year. His allergist said it's one of the worst seasons on record due to the rainy spring. Thanks for listening.:goodvibes

cindermomma
09-22-2008, 07:01 PM
[QUOTE=SLK1;27744422]Regarding "eat everything on your plate" rule, they give kids with special learning needs exceptions all the time, i.e, they don't get timed on tests, or they only get 10 spelling words versus 20. So, if they can do it for academics, they can do it for lunch. What a ridiculous rule anyway!! I would not only call on the principal, but the superintendent as well...this school needs some serious help.

As for cleaning his own mess, that is nonsense. That is what janitors are paid for. Maybe you can mention that you'd be happy to take your child's pay in small bills if it's more convenient since he did the work of a janitor![/QUOTE

My thoughts exactly! I also agree that they are taking the needs of the staff over the needs of the child. Talking to the nurse today she started talking to me like I am the crazy one...thanks dis friends for showing me otherwise. I am going to call the school and go in Wed. (the first day my DH can go too due to work), I am going to take my doctors notes with me. I hate to say this, but I think it will help to have DH there. It seems sometimes the people here listen to dad more than mom.

Tiffa
09-22-2008, 07:05 PM
Sorry keep thinking of things, check and make sure your nurse is a nurse not a medication assistant.

cindermomma
09-22-2008, 07:06 PM
I did work at a school and we were told we cannot check lunch boxes since that is what the parent is sending to school we had no say (we wanted to say something to the parent that sent a donut and candy lunch everyday) We did have a child with reflux he even had a band put in, we knew what was needed, our nurses were aware, one of his teachers had what I call a "yuck" factor it just seemed to gross her out, for medical reasons I would fight for your son they have no say in your lunches or a Dr's diagnoses check your school's medical policy and use it against them if you have too, better yet check with your DISTRICT policy you will have a way better idea on what to do.

Thanks for the info. Where would I find the policies for my school and/or district? I have the student handbook, but that is only rules for the kids...nothing of what is required of the school. I told the nurse that I would understand if I was sending a coke and a candy bar, but it is 5-8 items (sandwich, goldfish, grapes, go-gurt, bottled water, pudding cup, ect...) that are healthy lunch options. I told him to eat what he can and leave. So, today they called him down and told him to "Follow the rules of the lunchroom" (by the school nurse and secretary). Thanks for any info on those policies you could give me...the more info I have in hand, the better!

Tiffa
09-22-2008, 07:11 PM
You may have to call your distict office, I worked in a private school not a teacher, basically I was a mom that volunteered so much they finally started to pay me, but my DH really didnt want me to work, policy handbooks are kept in the school office not that they would be helpful in that area, call the district if they choose not to help and ask for the policy in writing. The wording is what your looking for, does it say exactly what they are saying or are they making their own policy.

cindermomma
09-22-2008, 07:26 PM
You may have to call your distict office, I worked in a private school not a teacher, basically I was a mom that volunteered so much they finally started to pay me, but my DH really didnt want me to work, policy handbooks are kept in the school office not that they would be helpful in that area, call the district if they choose not to help and ask for the policy in writing. The wording is what your looking for, does it say exactly what they are saying or are they making their own policy.


Please forgive me if this sounds dumb...where would I look in the phone book for the district phone number? The county pages in the phone book? Or is it a state of nebraska office? Thanks for the help. I am new to this! I am gonna look online right now for some info.

Tiffa
09-22-2008, 07:32 PM
Well it would be the under the name of your school then the district which is the overall area, like if they say blah blah city schools are closed today and you say hey that's us. If not try your school website they usually have link to the district for calenders and school service areas. Good luck

Mouse House Mama
09-22-2008, 08:12 PM
I sent you a pm.

StephMK
09-22-2008, 08:31 PM
Hi, where are you in NE? I would be really upset about him cleaning up & checking their lunches. I know there is a state site that gives "report card" type marks to all schools, I can't remember if there are links to each county. I know our district has a site & would think most of them probably do.

Good luck, it definitely sounds like you need to have a group meeting so everyone's on the same page about your son's care. And if I another parent there, I'd be fussing about that lunch policy. I don't agree w/a clean plate philosophy at all.

richmond282
09-22-2008, 08:42 PM
That eating all the food on your plate stuff or you will be punished is the stupidest thing I've ever heard! (and I'm a teacher.) I can understand lunch personnel (or whoever monitors) wanting to make sure the kids eat something, but everything on your plate??? My opinion is I, the parent, paid for the tray of food or packed the lunch. It is none of the school's business what my kid does or doesn't eat...

And cleaning up his own vomit??? That's ridiculous.

There are OSHA policies that must be followed for clean-up of bodily fluids. They are very specific. Every employee in our school system has to watch a video about it every year. Perhaps you could mention that to the school adminstrators.

mom2my2gr8kids
09-22-2008, 08:54 PM
I am very upset that a child had to clean up after himself, in part because it needs to be cleaned in the proper way, to ensure the safety of other kids as well.

DS, 11, has terrible outdoor allergies, but this fall has been the worst. A simple laugh would put him into a coughing fit. His nose was constantly draining. 2 weeks went by and it wasn't getting better. He wasn't vomiting, but he had no appetite. I took him to our allergist that is about 1 hour away and she saig that it was so bad that we had to put him on steroids (prednisone) for 5 days, and add an inhaler before any exertion, and add nasonex, and singulair as well. Normally he takes a zyrtec everyday. It is finally under better control.

I think that it is due to the fact that I enrolled him in public school this year, no air conditioning. He was in a private school k-5 that had air conditioning. I feel bad, but with the price of private school going up, and since I have been off of work for 16 months due to an injury, we needed to tighten up our belts.

I don't know how to help you with the school. It is terrible that he has to miss recess, socialization, exercise, and so on. Good luck to you.

My kids were on singulair and we took them off, be careful with that stuff!! Lots of side effects that they don't tell you about.

natnelliesmom
09-22-2008, 09:04 PM
There are definitely OSHA regulations regarding the cleanup of bodily fluids. The area should have been properly cleaned up by a staff member wearing gloves. It then needed to to be sprayed with a special disinfectant used by institutions exactly for the cleanup of vomit. It disinfects for all fluid borne pathogens and gets rid of odors.
I am also a teacher and we have standard written procedures to deal with any and all bodily fluids.
This is a sign of gross negligence on the part of your DS's school.
Not to mention the gross mistreatment of your son! He is a child with special needs and should be treated as such. He should have been escorted to the nurse's office and a parent should have immediately been contacted. It doesn't even sound like he was treated with respect. This is horrible.

As for students having to clean their plates to go to recess.... that is downright disgusting! How many children are overweight these days?? My DDs rarely finish what is on their plates. I encourage them to eat till they are satisfied. Nutritional experts will tell you that forcing a child to clean his plate will only cause weight issues later in life. Haven't these people ever watched the Biggest Loser??? :lmao:
All joking aside... this is a serious issue. I don't think you would be remiss in addressing this with your local school board. Just attend a monthly meeting and ask to address the board with a parent's concern.
Wow. That's all I can say.
:hug: Here's a hug from one concerned mom to another. Just take good care of that DS of yours and be his biggest advocate. With a school like that- it's a good thing he has a great mom.
-Sarah

bushdianee
09-22-2008, 09:26 PM
I am a teacher in Nebraska and there is no way a child would be made to clean up their own vomit. In fact if one of my kiddos gets sick I take the class out in the hall so the custodian can get it cleaned up without an audience. He is always there as quickly as he can. Not to mention that I can't handle the smell and start gagging myself!:lmao: As far as what he eats for lunch we encourage kids but don't force them to eat. If a child isn't eating much the lunch aides report it to me and I let the parents know so that they are aware.

toy
09-22-2008, 09:44 PM
I think I would be considering changing schools. There is NO excuse for this. I can't imagine anyone making a 2nd grader clean up vomit. I also don't want anyone punishing my child for not eating all of his food. Not everyone is hungry enough to eat everything. The focus should be on what they eat not how much. If he were my child I would be looking for other options. This school doesn't seem to be looking out for the best interest of the child. I'm not sure what they hope to accomplish with this behavior.

LindaDe
09-22-2008, 09:56 PM
I think before you approach any school district or superintendent you need to have all the facts. Being a mom and having dealt with teachers, school personnel, PTA's and attending school board meetings I know how they can wear you down if you don't go in totally prepared with facts and possibly even statements from professionals outside the district. Also when your at school functions see if you can lightly get into a conversation about some of these issues (the eating everything on your plate issue) with other moms, chances you will find they have a problem with it too and are too timid to speak up.

First place to start is the internet and find out all you can on the policies of the state and the district. Talk to your doctor and let him in on what happened, he can also direct you to some professionals that can also give you policies that the schools should be following on these issues. I think this school has some problems with the way they handled these situations and I would also add to this a self esteem issue that could follow your son through the rest of his years with the kids in this school.

Good Luck!

KirstenB
09-23-2008, 07:34 AM
I wonder if this falls under a "disability" category. Meaning that your son has feeding issues, and may need to have the school accomodate him, including not holding him to the same feeding standards as the other kids. I understand where they're coming from in that kids do throw away a lot of their lunches, my own dd included. However, I would argue your son falls under a whole different category.

LadyShea
09-23-2008, 08:29 AM
He has special medical needs that should be accommodated. Period. The school is acting crazy...I've never heard of such things as cleaning your plate and cleaning up vomit!

Here is a list of all the NE school districts. http://www.greatschools.net/schools/districts/Nebraska/NE I would find yours and get a list of the policies including special medical needs, bodily fluid clean up etc.

Our school district has a website with all policies as downloadable .pdf files, yours may too.

cindermomma
09-23-2008, 10:20 AM
There are definitely OSHA regulations regarding the cleanup of bodily fluids. The area should have been properly cleaned up by a staff member wearing gloves. It then needed to to be sprayed with a special disinfectant used by institutions exactly for the cleanup of vomit. It disinfects for all fluid borne pathogens and gets rid of odors.
I am also a teacher and we have standard written procedures to deal with any and all bodily fluids.
This is a sign of gross negligence on the part of your DS's school.
Not to mention the gross mistreatment of your son! He is a child with special needs and should be treated as such. He should have been escorted to the nurse's office and a parent should have immediately been contacted. It doesn't even sound like he was treated with respect. This is horrible.

As for students having to clean their plates to go to recess.... that is downright disgusting! How many children are overweight these days?? My DDs rarely finish what is on their plates. I encourage them to eat till they are satisfied. Nutritional experts will tell you that forcing a child to clean his plate will only cause weight issues later in life. Haven't these people ever watched the Biggest Loser??? :lmao:
All joking aside... this is a serious issue. I don't think you would be remiss in addressing this with your local school board. Just attend a monthly meeting and ask to address the board with a parent's concern.
Wow. That's all I can say.
:hug: Here's a hug from one concerned mom to another. Just take good care of that DS of yours and be his biggest advocate. With a school like that- it's a good thing he has a great mom.
-Sarah


Your post actually made me cry. Thanks for the encouragement and kind words. I agree with everything you said. I am going to look up the OSHA info, get all my ducks in a row, and then I think we do need to go to the school board. You hit the nail on the head that they didn't treat him with an ounce of respect. Thanks for the hug. I needed it.:grouphug:

cindermomma
09-23-2008, 10:25 AM
Thank you to all the great parents that have replied to me. The school actually was making me feel like I was the crazy one...it's nice to get your perspective and encouragement to continue this fight. I have talked to other parents, but since we live in a small school area, they don't want to "cause waves". I will dive right into the biggest one for my son though, and that's what I will do. I am going to work on the computer today, arming myself with any and all info I can find.

DS came home from school yesterday and said the school nurse and the secretary pulled him from class 2x to explain the "lunch room rules" and said they expect him to follow them. They also told him of a 3rd grade girl who needs to eat first so that she doesn't get sick (why did they say that...no clue, but it upset me that they were discussing another child's issues with my DS, what-and to who-are they saying about my kiddo?)

You guys are the greatest. I will post what I come up with and my plan of action. Thanks again, friends.:grouphug:

LadyShea
09-23-2008, 10:34 AM
They also told him of a 3rd grade girl who needs to eat first so that she doesn't get sick (why did they say that...no clue, but it upset me that they were discussing another child's issues with my DS, what-and to who-are they saying about my kiddo?)

Okay now this is just nuts, and possibly illegal. That's private information.

Just remember, school employees are State employees (and your taxes pay for the schools). Do not let them bully you or make you feel in the wrong, and go to the top if needed to your State board of education.

cindermomma
09-23-2008, 10:51 AM
Hi, where are you in NE? I would be really upset about him cleaning up & checking their lunches. I know there is a state site that gives "report card" type marks to all schools, I can't remember if there are links to each county. I know our district has a site & would think most of them probably do.

Good luck, it definitely sounds like you need to have a group meeting so everyone's on the same page about your son's care. And if I another parent there, I'd be fussing about that lunch policy. I don't agree w/a clean plate philosophy at all.

I live about 35 min. North of Omaha in Hooper.

LadyShea
09-23-2008, 11:00 AM
Here is your school district's site

http://www.loganview.org/vnews/display.v?page=vlist_signup

They don't have much.

cindermomma
09-23-2008, 11:09 AM
Here is your school district's site

http://www.loganview.org/vnews/display.v?page=vlist_signup

They don't have much.

I just found this too. I don't see anything on here regarding school policies. I am now looking for OSHA guidelines as far as the clean-up and at the family education rights and privacy act of 1974 in regards to sharing that girls info with my DS. Don't know where to look as far as the lunch area problems. I do have a note from his pediatrician to take. Thanks for taking the time to send me that link! I appreciate your help!

GJM
09-23-2008, 07:27 PM
That is the most stupid lunch rule I have ever heard of! Don't the other parents get upset about it, if their kid doesn't finish they can't have recess.

Look and see if you have a recess rule, I think by us they have to have so many minutes a day in recess. I could be wrong. Also at the start of each year we get a student handbook.

blackforest
09-23-2008, 08:08 PM
Dear cindermomma and all the other parents who HAVE to advocate for our children,

I am always hesitant to respond to these types of threads, only because we are so fortunate to be in a school district that goes the extra 10 miles for their students. My oldest DD13 is a Type 1 diabetic, as well as, dealing with ADD and possibly Tourette's Syndrome. I don't say all this to brag, but there are school districts in this U.S. that care for the kids and all the kids, not just those who require extra attention.

I bleed inside for all the kids and parents who have to fight an uphill battle to be treated humanely, let alone ethically, by those people who have chosen to step into the teaching profession, me being one! I wish all the teachers could be attentive, loving, funny, strict and educational. Yes we have had a few bumps in Katie's (DD13) education, but for the most part they have been few and far between!

As other PPs have said, YOU must stand in the gap for your child. We can't be pulling our kids out in search of that magical Disneyworld school, but we and they deserve to be treated with the care and compassion everyone should have.

So, not much wisdom or constructive advise, but know that we parents who only want the best enviroment in which our kids can grow and bloom, support you 100%! You are OUR hero!

mommytobug
09-23-2008, 08:13 PM
You have gotten a lot of good advice. You are the best advocate for your son and what he is going through is unexcusable. Why in the he** is a secretary getting involved and why in the he** is she pulling him out of class? As for the required eating, that is also ridiculous. I have never heard of that in my life. I am sending big hugs, this will get better but only with your help.

cindermomma
09-24-2008, 09:14 AM
Dear cindermomma and all the other parents who HAVE to advocate for our children,

I am always hesitant to respond to these types of threads, only because we are so fortunate to be in a school district that goes the extra 10 miles for their students. My oldest DD13 is a Type 1 diabetic, as well as, dealing with ADD and possibly Tourette's Syndrome. I don't say all this to brag, but there are school districts in this U.S. that care for the kids and all the kids, not just those who require extra attention.

I bleed inside for all the kids and parents who have to fight an uphill battle to be treated humanely, let alone ethically, by those people who have chosen to step into the teaching profession, me being one! I wish all the teachers could be attentive, loving, funny, strict and educational. Yes we have had a few bumps in Katie's (DD13) education, but for the most part they have been few and far between!

As other PPs have said, YOU must stand in the gap for your child. We can't be pulling our kids out in search of that magical Disneyworld school, but we and they deserve to be treated with the care and compassion everyone should have.

So, not much wisdom or constructive advise, but know that we parents who only want the best enviroment in which our kids can grow and bloom, support you 100%! You are OUR hero!

Words cannot say how much your post touched my heart. Encouragement from my husband, and great friends like you, help this battle. I love my little guy more than anything and I will do whatever it takes to make sure he is safe, and happy, and school. With all my heart, I want to thank you for such a lovely reply to me.

I am so glad to hear about your daughter's school. It sounds wonderful. :goodvibes Our school would be very lucky to have such fine people attending and teaching at our school.

Thank you again for taking the time to give me your support. It amazes me everyday how people I have never seen with my eyes could be some of the best supporters and friends I have! :grouphug:

claryche
09-24-2008, 09:37 AM
I think someone posted that this might could be considered a disability and this is what I was going to suggest also. You need to talk to whoever at the school is in charge of making sure that the school follows IDEA law. I use to work at an area college with students with disabilities, but never in the public school system. But it sounds like to me that your son is being discriminated against simply because of his health issues. And health issues are a very valid disability issue. He should have an IEP (Individualize Education Plan) written up not only to include the inhaler issues but also include that he should be allowed to not eat everything in his lunch if he doesn't feel like he can without throwing up. If the school doesn't help, then maybe contact your area Vocational Rehabilitation Office, they might be able to asset you with the disability aspect of it.

I wish you luck and thanks for sharing your story. My son who is 2 and a half has similar issues, that I might have to face when he starts school. He is on singular and it seems to help. He might now only throw up once a month, where it use to be 2 times a week.

Bottom line you son deserves to be treated like everyone else and not be punished for something he has no control over.

Good Luck.

cindermomma
09-24-2008, 10:40 AM
The school nurse just called me and she said she will be speaking with our principal about DS's lunch issues. After I calmly explained everything to her and said that I am prepared to have a meeting with all my information, it seemed like she was going to be on our side. She said she will be getting back to me today after she speaks with him. I told her, I did not want the lunch attendants going through my son's lunch anymore when he leaves the lunch area. He is finished when he is finished. I also told her I have a doctors note backing up his gag reflux issues.(told her this 3x now). We have parent techer conferences tomorrow and I am tracking down the principal to discuss (again) the vomit issues and lack of response of his inhaler medication. I am going to tell him that I need to be assured of my son't safety at school. I really think I am on the right track! I will post what happens today when she calls back.

kafitty
09-24-2008, 01:12 PM
I personally think someone needs to challenge their eat everything rule. I mean talk about setting kids up for obesity!

ITA!!

:hug: for you mama, i wouldn't even know what to do, i don't even have kids (yet) but i know i would be completely b.s. if this was happening in my kids school.

wildfan1473
09-24-2008, 01:33 PM
The school nurse just called me and she said she will be speaking with our principal about DS's lunch issues. After I calmly explained everything to her and said that I am prepared to have a meeting with all my information, it seemed like she was going to be on our side. She said she will be getting back to me today after she speaks with him. I told her, I did not want the lunch attendants going through my son's lunch anymore when he leaves the lunch area. He is finished when he is finished. I also told her I have a doctors note backing up his gag reflux issues.(told her this 3x now). We have parent techer conferences tomorrow and I am tracking down the principal to discuss (again) the vomit issues and lack of response of his inhaler medication. I am going to tell him that I need to be assured of my son't safety at school. I really think I am on the right track! I will post what happens today when she calls back.

:goodvibes I just wanted to say good luck.

surfergirl602
09-24-2008, 02:35 PM
What I don't get is how they can command what children eat! 1 item left on their plate?? Give me a break! If a kid isn't hungry, don't force the food down their throat! That's a main factor to childhood obesity! If they are full, they shouldn't have to finish what is on their tray! Don't punish them because they don't want to eat any more or bring their own lunch. My six year old barely eats enough to feed a cat - but she's full. i don't make her eat more, just because there's stuff still left on her plate. That really makes me mad that they do that! I pack my kids lunches with what they will eat.

surfergirl602
09-24-2008, 02:44 PM
There are OSHA policies that must be followed for clean-up of bodily fluids. They are very specific. Every employee in our school system has to watch a video about it every year. Perhaps you could mention that to the school adminstrators.

That's why bio-hazard bags are made - for bodily fluid?!?! The area needs to be bleached with a bleach and water solution and everything needs to be put into a special bag, just like with blood. Him cleaning it up himself is just unacceptable!!!

kathianne
09-24-2008, 03:10 PM
That's why bio-hazard bags are made - for bodily fluid?!?! The area needs to be bleached with a bleach and water solution and everything needs to be put into a special bag, just like with blood. Him cleaning it up himself is just unacceptable!!!


Good point, you might consider an OSHA complaint, they should investigate, school just isn't followint proper procedure, let alone considering the child's feelings!

SmallWorld71
09-24-2008, 05:15 PM
As both a parent and a teacher I just wanted to chime in and say I am so sorry that you are going through all this. :hug: I think that everyone has already chimed in with everything that is just SO WRONG about the situations. Good luck and stay strong. :thumbsup2

melancholywings
09-24-2008, 05:45 PM
I can't believe they are forcing the kids to eat. I'd go all kinds of livid if this was my kid and school, including trying to get the local media involved and dragging a lawyer in if needed. It's not humane to force feed children. What's next toliet checks to verify the children are doing that as well?

Belle's Castle
09-25-2008, 07:49 PM
I am a frequent visitor of the boards but do not write much...that being said I did become upset when I read the original post. As a new mother (DD is 6 months old) I would be very upset if my child was told to clean up their vomit. As a school psychologist I am appalled that was asked of the child, especially in front of his peers. This can make an already difficult situation worse and cause embarrassment and impact self-esteem (no flame please, just my opinion). Anyway, it sounds to me that your child as significant medical issues that are impacting his education and social experiences. I would look into requesting a 504 Accommodation Plan for your child. I am unclear of the laws of your state but this is a federal law therefore it applies to all states, but maybe interpreted differently.

LadyShea
09-30-2008, 08:06 AM
Any update cindermomma?

cindermomma
09-30-2008, 10:03 AM
Hello friends. Well, my DH and I talked to the principal yesterday. This whole time the school nurse and secretary (again don't know why she is involved at all!:rolleyes: ) said they were speaking to him about this and he said my DS had to eat..blah blah..After talking to him, it seemed he had no idea what I was talking about! :confused3 He has been gone quite a bit due to Chemotherapy. I had told the Superindant about the vomit issue and been talking with the school nurse about the lunch issue. We explained everything to the principal. Things could not have went better. He had no idea what had taken place and he seemed visibly upset by this. He apologized for their "grave mistakes" and said the year has not gotten off to a good start for us. He asked what we wanted.
We told him 1) My DS's asthma plan should NEVER be ignored. He needs to be monitored and given his inhaler and then call me. This is the biggest #1 issue - his medical well-being. 2) DS should be able to eat what he wants and then be able to leave the lunchroom without the lunch ladies raiding his lunch bag and telling him to eat more to go to recess. I provided the Dr. note for this. The principal said "Done". and 3) DS will never again be told to clean up his vomit.
We told him that we found it incredible that the school nurse and secretary have been battling me about this for an entire week. Pulling him out of class (he didn't know this either), and phoning me almost daily that DS needs to follow the rules. All the while NUMEROUS health codes and moral codes were broken the day he vomitted and his asthma was ignored - he was told to go clean instead of being monitored and given his meds.
The principal seemed to be upset by hearing all this. He said "done" with lunch and acted like it was no big deal...like we thought the whole time. This principal has helped us before with DS (trying to keep windows closed as long as possible due to allergies, ect.) I truly feel DS's best interests are in his heart (as are the other kiddos). Like I said, the principal has been gone ALOT due to chemo. I honestly don't think they had told him a thing about the lunch and I know they didn't tell him about the vomit as he told me they did not. I went into the office today to give him another Dr.'s note for DS's file and the secretary would not even look at me, so it seems that maybe things were already said to them from the principal.
I hope I didn't lose anybody here with my rambling! I also hope I didn't forget anything. I felt better leaving that meeting. I felt that he cared and was going to help DS. I threw in the conversation about the childhood obesity rate (about eating all the lunch), so maybe I have helped other kiddos as well. He seemed to not know too much about how the lunch room is ran and I encouraged him to sit in the boot camp, I mean lunch room, and see how things are ran. I also told him that DS's Dr. (who I talked with again Friday) was so upset about things, she wrote a note for DS to eat at home everyday until they change their policies. He said he didn't want DS to have to do that and that we can work this out.
If I think of anything I forgot, I will add it. Thank you all for your support and your ears. It is so nice talking to other parents who listen, sympathize, encourage and support me! :surfweb: Thanks for your comments of encouragement and ideas of what to do and say. I hope nothing like this happens to any of your kiddos. If anyone ever needs my ears and support, I am always here.:grouphug:

CrAzY4DL
09-30-2008, 01:23 PM
OMG, I am so glad things have finally been figured out!! Yay for you!!!


!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!MOTHER WARRIOR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

:goodvibes :goodvibes
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Wendy_in_Wonderland
09-30-2008, 01:55 PM
A little late to post but I can't tell you how much your post affected me. As a very active parent and a substitute (one day a REAL one) teacher :) I would lose it if my child was treated in the ways you described. If I hadn't worked so much as a sub at DD's school I would be calling right now to check on lunch policies b/c that is the most ludicrous thing I've ever heard! I thought the clean plate club being a bad thing was common knowledge by now! Also the sheer horror of telling an elementary schooler to clean up their own vomit! I can't imagine, I have serious issues w/ that and I would have broken down had I been that child. Who would make a child that age ever clean up after themselves like that! If DD or DS gets sick one of us calms her down and makes her comfortable while the other parent cleans up if we are both home, if it's just me I do both. A child shouldn't have to clean up something like that when they are feeling fine much less when they aren't feeling great. I physically wouldn't have been able to do it and am amazed at your son's strength and dignity to be able to do so.

I'm so glad you spoke to the principal and got everything straightened out for your child I truly hope that you don't encounter any further problems. I would still talk to other parents about the lunch policy or the teacher if you are on friendly terms. It's awful what they are doing to those children. There is a child ad DD's school who is very obese, she is younger than DD and can't wear normal children's clothes. She wears adult size baby tees and stretchy pants. Every day her parents pick her up and they both also have weight issues and every day they have a giant drink from McDonald's, every day. She rushes up to them, grabs the 40-something oz. soda and drains half of it before they leave the school. I try so hard not to be judgemental, I have weight problems too. But it's so hard when you see that and imagine the calories and sugar she is consuming in beverages alone. /tangent sorry.

I make DD and DS try everything on their plates once and then eat until they are full. Some nights I try to encourage them to eat more of a specific thing (usually a veggie they are offended by) but they are healthy happy and growing well according to their dr. so why push it by stuffing them like thanksgiving turkeys for no reason. I've gotten now so that I can guesstimate their portion sizes based on their personalities but some days they aren't as hungry as others and some days they want seconds and we just go with the flow. We do make them wait 15 minutes between helpings though, I think if I had understood my full signals better at a young age I may not have the problems I have now with weight.

Best of luck to you and your family!

dzorn
09-30-2008, 02:14 PM
http://specialchildren.about.com/od/504s/f/504faq1.htm


Please look into getting your son a 504 plan.

Denise in MI