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npmommie
09-17-2008, 11:45 AM
My little one has this awesome head of curls, it is to his shoulders........he doesn't want it cut, despite the fact that everyone thinks he is a girl.
I really don't want to cut it either, but I am so sick of people callling him a girl.
like yesterday at gymnastics some grandfather was there watching his grandchild, when he said ' oh how cute look at HER".......the woman that was with him said that is a boy........he proceeded to say, but he has long hair!!
i mean come on, do people think little girls with short hair are boys???
i guess i am just venting. just can't figure out why when he totally is dressed like a boy, looks like a boy, but doesn't have short hair people think he is a girl.

KATHINOWA
09-17-2008, 12:07 PM
My DS (10) was in a restaurant with his soccer team. One of the players has longer hair (styled in a bob) and when the waitress served them, she served this boy first. Some of the boys grumbled and she said "ladies first". The team thought it was hysterical. I think it happens to him a lot so he didn't seem to mind.

DisneyCowgirl
09-17-2008, 12:08 PM
Our 2-and-a half year old boy has a great head of hair with those great curls I can't stand to consider cutting off! Occasionally people think he is a girl, but I don't care! We have trimmed it a few times so it's not too long down his back, but I'm planning on keeping it pretty long until his school dress code (parochial school) forces me to cut it above his collar.

bethbuchall
09-17-2008, 12:09 PM
My little one has this awesome head of curls, it is to his shoulders........he doesn't want it cut, despite the fact that everyone thinks he is a girl.
I really don't want to cut it either, but I am so sick of people callling him a girl.
like yesterday at gymnastics some grandfather was there watching his grandchild, when he said ' oh how cute look at HER".......the woman that was with him said that is a boy........he proceeded to say, but he has long hair!!
i mean come on, do people think little girls with short hair are boys???
i guess i am just venting. just can't figure out why when he totally is dressed like a boy, looks like a boy, but doesn't have short hair people think he is a girl.

:hug: I remember this from when my older two were younger. Ds did have longish blond hair, though not as long as your son's. Everyone called him a girl even though I know that he looked like a boy. I am sure that your ds looks like a boy, too, if anyone actually looked at him. Then I had dd. Her hair grew in so slowly and it was dark. Everyone called her a boy. Even when she was wearing a dress!!! One woman asked why I cut her hair so short. It was so annoying at the time, but I guess really it is just a little blip on the radar.

Ds wears his hair long now, but he really doesn't look like a girl any more at 17.

Janet Hill
09-17-2008, 12:10 PM
Well when my totally girlie 3yo had very very short hair (a must after she took the sissors to it), people would occasionally think she was a boy. It happened once when she had on a pair of pink pants.

npmommie
09-17-2008, 12:14 PM
:hug: I remember this from when my older two were younger. Ds did have longish blond hair, though not as long as your son's. Everyone called him a girl even though I know that he looked like a boy. I am sure that your ds looks like a boy, too, if anyone actually looked at him. Then I had dd. Her hair grew in so slowly and it was dark. Everyone called her a boy. Even when she was wearing a dress!!! One woman asked why I cut her hair so short. It was so annoying at the time, but I guess really it is just a little blip on the radar.

Ds wears his hair long now, but he really doesn't look like a girl any more at 17.

You reminded me of when my dd was a toddler, her hair also came in slow so it was short for awhile,
we were checking out at a store and the cashier thought she was a boy...........she had on this cute fleece jacket with flowers embroidered on it, but it was a blue jacket.........
i made a comment about her being dressed like a girl, how could she mistake her for a boy.......she said something about the jacket being blue and blue is only for boys:rotfl2:
and i am thinking with FLOWERS Embroidered on??? LOL

npmommie
09-17-2008, 12:16 PM
Our 2-and-a half year old boy has a great head of hair with those great curls I can't stand to consider cutting off! Occasionally people think he is a girl, but I don't care! We have trimmed it a few times so it's not too long down his back, but I'm planning on keeping it pretty long until his school dress code (parochial school) forces me to cut it above his collar.

Thats what is happening here..........I Have snipped it a few times, but i can't bear the thought of taking it all...........LOL
and most people will say, oh his hair is so beautiful! i think that is why he doesn't want it cut! but he is also at the age where he knows he is NOT a girl and doesn't want to be called a girl:rotfl:

ERMama
09-17-2008, 12:36 PM
i think many young kids faces dont exactly make them look strictly boy or girl. many have that round cherub look yet.
so yeah, i would probably think a child in shorts and a tshirt with long hair was a girl.
if you dont want to cut it, let the comments roll off your back and accept that maybe people just think hes cute.

tzolkin
09-17-2008, 12:47 PM
We just cut my son's hair at Disney. It was pretty long (shoulder length), but we hadn't received any "girl" comments. However, my oldest DD and my niece were mistaken for boys many times as babies. They were "huskier" than other little girls. To be honest, it was usually an old man when we were in a doctor's office and they would just go on and on about what a big boy she was going to be and how she was going to play football. Often there was a wife and she would say, "It's a girl, she's dressed all in pink". :confused3

DH has hair past his bottom, so everyone we know is more than aware of the fact that just because someone has long hair they're not a girl.

Alex&Evan'sMom
09-17-2008, 12:55 PM
Don't let them get to you and whatever you do don't cut that gorgeous hair! Both my boys had baby curls and once we cut their hair the first time they never grew back. Hubby is ex-military and thinks boys hair should always be cut short and some of hubby's relatives like to comment on my younger son's longer hair but I just don't listen.(older childs hair has to be kept shorter because of the thickness....it doesn't grow longer it grows out and expands into this monster head of hair) I love the longer hair style that a lot of the kids have and since by younger son was blessed/cursed with my hair(very fine) it works for him. And I can't tell you how many times when he was a baby with very little hair that he was called a girl. Even wearing blue with a baseball cap! :confused3 Must be the big brown eyes and the long lashes!(that he certainly didn't get from me.:sad2: )

Disney 4 Me
09-17-2008, 12:57 PM
My DS2 had curls, too. He went for his first haircut at Disney. I debated about keeping them. But DH and the barber both said, "He's not a girl." So off they came. This was almost a year ago and I still miss them. His hair is not nearly as curly as it was. I'm so sad.

And my DD6 and DD5 both were bald for a long time. The always wore dresses and were mistaken for boys more than not. :confused3

TwinsinCA
09-17-2008, 01:05 PM
i mean come on, do people think little girls with short hair are boys???

Yes. My sister had short hair as a kid and people mistook her for a boy at times. Once a woman actually argued with her that she was in the wrong bathroom!

zoemurr
09-17-2008, 02:18 PM
My DS2 had curls, too. He went for his first haircut at Disney. I debated about keeping them. But DH and the barber both said, "He's not a girl." So off they came. This was almost a year ago and I still miss them. His hair is not nearly as curly as it was. I'm so sad.

And my DD6 and DD5 both were bald for a long time. The always wore dresses and were mistaken for boys more than not. :confused3

had hair past her bottom when we finally cut it at 4 years old It was all curly at the bottom, and I hated cutting them off. When we came home I said, "I really miss your curls." She just looked at me and said, "Why? They're in a bag in the cupboard." (Which they were..)

We have a friend whose toddler had blond curls at 2. They finally cut them after they picked him up from grandmas. She had put it in ponytails to prove her point.

snickerboo
09-17-2008, 02:38 PM
Lots of little boys have longer hair now, mine (ds5) included. He got it cut shorter last year when one of his friends told him he looked like a girl. Lately he's been growing it back, though.

puffkin
09-17-2008, 03:08 PM
I am not a big fan of long hair on boys (curls or not). IMHO, very few can pull it off and look cute. There are lots of shorter cuts that can still show off his curls without making him look like a girl.......

I am probably in the minority here, but I like little boys to look like little boys :goodvibes

tinkerlisa
09-17-2008, 03:16 PM
I have a story to share about little boys with long hair.
My friend and her sisters grow their hair long every year to have enough to cut it for locks of love. Well, her :dance3: son, who is 8 decided he wanted to do it too!!! By next spring(in time for relay for life), his hair will finally be long enough to cut! Actually its long enough now but my friend and her sisters only cut their hair during relay for life! B is real excited to do something good for his community. :dance3:

java
09-17-2008, 03:21 PM
My 5 year old had longer hair. Then we went to Disney - in July- and he cut it at the barber shop on main street.
He's growing it back now.
He is very boyish looking though so he doesn't get the "girl" comments. Oh and my 14 year old has long hair. To his shoulders neatly long now that school started back up. (out of eyes is the only rule I have)
here is the back of my 5 year old's hair (not at it's longest but it is still longish here)
http://i170.photobucket.com/albums/u273/javamt/DSC_0073-2.jpg

thegrimdwarf
09-17-2008, 04:08 PM
I am not a big fan of long hair on boys (curls or not). IMHO, very few can pull it off and look cute. There are lots of shorter cuts that can still show off his curls without making him look like a girl.......

I am probably in the minority here, but I like little boys to look like little boys :goodvibes

If you're in the minority, I'm there with you. Long hair on males (little boys, older boys, men) isn't something I'm fond of. And I'm not usually one to be "conservative" in my appearance or thinking. But I just can't embrace long hair on a boy, and I really don't understand the idea that because it's curly it should be long. My little guy has curls, and I keep his hair short, too.

eeyoremum
09-17-2008, 04:55 PM
My DS9 has very long hair (half way down his back). He is mistaken for a girl all the time. He just says I'm a boy. I don't mind his hair long it is his hair not mine. I generally have bigger fish to fry than hair

gillenkl
09-17-2008, 05:01 PM
I am not a big fan of long hair on boys (curls or not). IMHO, very few can pull it off and look cute. There are lots of shorter cuts that can still show off his curls without making him look like a girl.......

I am probably in the minority here, but I like little boys to look like little boys :goodvibes

Have to agree with you on this one - but then again, my DS has a buzz cut:)

islandmum
09-17-2008, 05:05 PM
If you're in the minority, I'm there with you. Long hair on males (little boys, older boys, men) isn't something I'm fond of. And I'm not usually one to be "conservative" in my appearance or thinking. But I just can't embrace long hair on a boy, and I really don't understand the idea that because it's curly it should be long. My little guy has curls, and I keep his hair short, too.

I like the short look too, I'm not a long hair fan at all on boys or men - but hair is so very personal I'm glad everyone does what they want to. I've heard people say things like " oh the poor boy looking like a girl, he must get teased and bullied so bad" ..... but any kid I know if they get teased for anything they do something to change it - so if they had a problem with long hair they'd be asking mummy to chop it off!:)

My boys have short hair because they look better with it, we tried the surfy look and it was not good, so short back and sides it is and it really suits them - plus they get sweaty and mucky every day and dont have to worry about sticky hair!

MomofKatie
09-17-2008, 05:05 PM
I don't have a boy, but my DD (who has waist-length, Shirley Temple-esque corkscrew curls) has a good guy friend in her 5th grade class who has hair almost identical to hers, except DD's is light brown and his is platinum blonde. He has gorgeous hair, and his father has very long hair, too. Neither of them would ever be mistaken for girls- both have very masculine faces. DD loves her friend's hair.

daisyduck123
09-17-2008, 05:20 PM
I think if a boy's hair is long enough that he's being mistaken for a girl....then it's time for a haircut.

I teach 1st grade & last year we had a parent in for Career Day. I had one male student with "past shoulder-length" hair. :sad2: When a bunch of students raised their hands to answer a question she called on him, saying, "you, the little girl in the red shirt".

I felt bad for him, but at the end of our guest's session, I quietly told her not to feel bad...that she WASN'T the first to mistake him for a girl.

imthatgirl
09-17-2008, 05:33 PM
I am not a big fan of long hair on boys (curls or not). IMHO, very few can pull it off and look cute. There are lots of shorter cuts that can still show off his curls without making him look like a girl.......

I am probably in the minority here, but I like little boys to look like little boys :goodvibes

im sure you arent in the minority. i mostly feel bad for the little boys with long hair. it usually just ends up looking messy and unkept. then they get sweaty and gross in the summer. little girls who have long hair can keep their hair back with pins,barretts and headbands, but boys dont have that option, so its just in their face all the time.

i think if a parent wants their boy to have long hair, then they have to accept the fact that people arent going to know if its aboy or a girl, and they have to teach their son taht he will be mistaken for a girl. obviously in this case the boy doenst want it cut(im assuming hes old enough to understand that decision) so he must be ok with that.

PrincessMonkey
09-17-2008, 05:47 PM
Longer hair on boys is very "Jonas Brothers" these days. I don't think that a 2 year old boy would care about that, but I do know slightly older kids and tween boys who think that is very cool.

It's us, as adults, who don't necessarily keep up with the style of the times.
However, I wouldn't want to subject a child to ridicule if they aren't old enough to explain why they like the hairstyle as it is.

Poohbug
09-17-2008, 05:59 PM
I also am not a big fan of long hair on boys. I realize it is a personal decision but please don't get mad when people call him a girl. It is honestly hard to tell on younger children and we are certainly not trying to offend anyone.:)

LauraP22
09-17-2008, 06:48 PM
I personally tend to think that long hair on an older male child is a style choice the child is making based on their personal wishes. On a toddler, or early elementary schooler, it often just seems to be a parent who likes the long hair thus the kiddo gets stuck with comments about it all the time. For the same reason I don't like ear piercing on little boys or expressing a mother's feminism by dressing their daughter like a boy. It should be a child's choice to go against societal norms later in life, not a parent making a statement with their kiddo.

One more thing I will say on this topic and then I'll shut up since I'm in the minority here, a young kid will often say what their parents want to hear so if a parent says "your curls are so beautiful and long" all the time and then says "do you want to have your pretty curls cut off?" the kiddo is unlikely to say they want it cut off because they want to please their parents.

livndisney
09-17-2008, 07:20 PM
I personally tend to think that long hair on an older male child is a style choice the child is making based on their personal wishes. On a toddler, or early elementary schooler, it often just seems to be a parent who likes the long hair thus the kiddo gets stuck with comments about it all the time. For the same reason I don't like ear piercing on little boys or expressing a mother's feminism by dressing their daughter like a boy. It should be a child's choice to go against societal norms later in life, not a parent making a statement with their kiddo.

One more thing I will say on this topic and then I'll shut up since I'm in the minority here, a young kid will often say what their parents want to hear so if a parent says "your curls are so beautiful and long" all the time and then says "do you want to have your pretty curls cut off?" the kiddo is unlikely to say they want it cut off because they want to please their parents.

I agree, alot of the time it is the parent making the choice for the childs hair to be long and not a "current" trend. And don't get me started on piercing. Personally I don't like long hair on boys. That said, a family member has long hair. He was NOT pleased when his young granddaughter kept getting confused and calling him "her". ;)

If you choose to leave your son's hair long, I don't see how you can get mad when someone mistakes him for a girl. Just the same I as I could not get mad when people mistook my DD for a boy while we were waiting for her hair to grow. (I guess the dress wasn't enough of a clue LOL)

SLK1
09-17-2008, 07:27 PM
Nothing new here...people are always dressing up their babies in pink and being called "he", or vice-versa. If it bothers you what other people say, cut the hair!!! If not, keep it. There is absolutely nothing you can do, short of stamping his forehead with "I'm a boy", so you just have to deal with it...be prepared to correct people, or smile nicely and accept the fact that he is mistaken often.

SLK1
09-17-2008, 07:30 PM
Just one more thing about hair...it's also pretty gross when a parent insists their daughter have long hair, when the hair is just not pretty and is stringy and thin. That is just the parent thinking "Oooh, we have a girl, let's keep her hair long". Ick. Please recognize that sometimes hair needs to be a bit shorter in order to keep it looking healthy!!!

terri01p
09-17-2008, 07:35 PM
I am not a big fan of long hair on boys (curls or not). IMHO, very few can pull it off and look cute. There are lots of shorter cuts that can still show off his curls without making him look like a girl.......

I am probably in the minority here, but I like little boys to look like little boys :goodvibes


:thumbsup2

justcruisin
09-17-2008, 07:45 PM
I don't like long hair on boys any more then I like seeing their boxershorts and jeans worn low.

For me it's just plain sloppy and disrespectful.

(Don't mean to sound so harsh, but boys should grow up to be MEN!)

bennythepug
09-17-2008, 08:09 PM
I am not a big fan of long hair on boys (curls or not). IMHO, very few can pull it off and look cute. There are lots of shorter cuts that can still show off his curls without making him look like a girl.......

I am probably in the minority here, but I like little boys to look like little boys :goodvibes


I'm in agreement with you, I like little boys to look like boys. My boys have short hair and my sister in law's boys have long hair. Her boys have been mistaken for girls several times. I would'nt want my kids to be embarresed like that.

las3888
09-17-2008, 08:11 PM
I have to agree with those who don't like long hair on boys. I know it's a personal choice, but I feel like when they are toddler or preschool aged, it's not really the kid's choice but the parents. So be it if that's what you desire...it is after a free country!

I do have a good friend who didn't cut DS's hair until he turned 3. It was because it was curly. I personally never understood that reasoning...some hair is straight and some is curly...I don't know why curly is meant to be long??? Maybe when they have those cute curly ringlets at baby age, but beyond being a baby to others it doesn't quite seem maybe as cute as it does to the parents. Again, it's personal choice, so do what you want, but don't be surprised or frustrated if they call DS a girl because it is very hard to distinguish at times.

LovePug
09-17-2008, 08:41 PM
My son needed a haircut by the time he was 6 months old-I kid you not. I took him when he was 7 or 8 months old and the hairdresser barely trimmed it because it was "so beautiful". A couple weeks later, after constantly being stopped in public by strangers saying how beautiful SHE is, I cut it myself. It may be silly to some, but it bothered me. :confused3

It is totally a personal preference...

princessmom29
09-17-2008, 08:59 PM
I'll be honest long hair on little boys bothers me. I think i see it as mom trying to keep them a little boy for ever. I had a friend who did this, but she also nurse him untill he was 3 and he is now turnig 4 next monthy and she has made no effort to potty train him. She is seriously trying to hold onto her last baby and I worry about what the consequences for the child will be. He is already verbally delayed, and no preschool is going to take him in diapers at 4. I guess the fact that she kept his hair long in an effort to keep him a baby as long as possible is why it bothers me.

sk!mom
09-17-2008, 09:26 PM
If he looks like a girl then he looks like a girl so you have two choices-

1. Cut it.

or

2. Get a thicker skin and chill.

eduk8r26
09-17-2008, 09:30 PM
We have a couple of kids at my school who have long hair worn in pigtails or ponytails. I have mistaken them for girls before. I think that's a risk you take if you let your child's hair grow. Now the thing that really bugs me this year is the number of kids at our school with Mohawks. I've never seen so many before and I think they look absolutely ridiculous.

dislal
09-17-2008, 10:41 PM
I agree, alot of the time it is the parent making the choice for the childs hair to be long and not a "current" trend. And don't get me started on piercing. Personally I don't like long hair on boys.

If you choose to leave your son's hair long, I don't see how you can get mad when someone mistakes him for a girl.

:thumbsup2

npmommie
09-17-2008, 11:08 PM
LOL, i guess it really doesn't bother me that much what people think or say. Occasionally like yesterday, it gets under my skin, and that is usually the tone of the person saying it.
it didn't bother me or him at all last winter when he got called princess at disney.........:rotfl: but then again he was only 4.......hehe
Maybe it is me hanging onto my "baby", I did try to get him to let me cut it several times over the summer, because of being hot and icky and dirty and sweaty, but he wanted none of it.
my dd is in need of a haircut and i was thinking if I took her to one of those kid cut places, he may let them cut his hair, i prob wouldn't go super short for the first time..........but at least up off his shoulders,
he does still have that sweet baby face, and long lashes, so i can see sometimes why he gets called she.........but really i guess i get perplexed at it when he is definitely dressed like a boy, all boy, no mistake in the clothing........but oh well.
I am not one for doing what society thinks i should anyway.........:)

TotalSnowWhite
09-18-2008, 12:58 AM
DS has curls on the end of his hair. If he cut it, they'd probably be gone for good. Same thing happened to his uncle. He'll probably lose the curl at some point, but it's cute now, so we haven't cut them off yet. I don't think it's really "long," but it's longer than most of his friends' hair. He's been mistaken for a girl, maybe, twice. No big deal to us.

Here's DS and his curly (girly?) hair :laughing::
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v199/LittleFallOfRain/03-1.jpg
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v199/LittleFallOfRain/image225-1.jpg
The second one was from our Poly photo shoot!! He's a little frizzy, but it was a warm May day and this was about 15 minutes post-pool! Hehe!!

We're Native, so a lot of our family members and friends (of the male variety) have long hair. DS has a friend who is also Native, and he keeps his hair in braids. They're all very "manly" men, so the length of hair has nothing to do with boys growing up to be men (as someone alluded to in a previous post).

Funny story...
My male cousins are 13 and 14. They both used to keep long hair for when they gourd danced at the Fourth of July Pow Wow. They used to bet a buck each time we went out to dinner that the server would ask what "she" wanted. Haha!! Most of the time they won their dollars. They now have shorter, shaggy hair, but it is still "long" for boy standards. Why did they cut? The older one got it caught in his rope while repelling (a fairly "manly" activity), and they had to chop it with a pocket knife. I personally like the shaggy look for them because it looks more modern, but they'll probably grow it long again. Either way, it looks nice.

christa112
09-18-2008, 05:38 AM
My son had the most gorgeous head of Blonde hair with curls when he was about 1.5 yrs old. But after a while I would cut it because he really did look like a girl. I hated his hair short and almost cried when the hair dresser cut his hair. Keep in mind, that eventually his curls did not grow back. :eek:

Good in your decision it is not going to be an easy one.

nessz79
09-18-2008, 06:36 AM
My first had those little curls and his hair was gorgeous! We trimmed it now and then but it was relatively "long" for a boy (but the curls helped it look shorter). Eventually we cut it all when he was a little over 2 and it's never been the same! His hair became thicker and straighter and those days are over.

OP- I don't know how old your child is, but I'd enjoy it for a while and then around 2-3 I would cut it. I know we shouldn't be concerned with our kids "fitting in", but I actually think it's pretty important for preschool boys to feel like they fit in with the other boys. It's a time that kids really start to identify with their gender. We actually had some issues there with our first. He's all adjusted now, but I'm glad he didn't have long hair still at the preschool age or it would have been more difficult.

mommy-on-the-move
09-18-2008, 07:06 AM
My eldest son has longer hair- he'll be six soon and it's his choice, Daddy has longer hair (was down to his waist when our eldest was born, is now "Sawyer from lost" style ) Grandad has longer hair most of the time (just had it all cut off for my sisters wedding) we're not really a short hair family.

DS has really, really, really thick hair- it's got a bit of a curl to it but when short it sticks out everywhere, I don't like buzz cutting as we live in an area where headlice goes around ALOT and here (not saying everyone with buzzcuts- just where i live!) it reminds me of moms who have gotten so t'd off with treating headlice so they shaved instead!

DS's hair was down to his shoulders when he got it all cut short and feathered for sil's wedding and frankly he looked odd, nothing like himself. He grew it back, down his back but layered and then had it cut to a shoulder length straight cut for school around a year later, he had it cut in July for my sisters august wedding and had it cut curtains style, he walked into the playground the morning after having it cut and EVERYONE was stopping to turn around and look at him as he was the long haired kid and suddenly shorter hair :laughing: His one teacher cried LOL because she likes his long hair! We moved over the summer and he's keeping it shorter now at his new school but it's what alot of people class as long still.

A few boys say the odd thing but he just shrugs it off- he's autistic, if they weren't picking on his hair they'd chose one of the other oddities about him. He never gets mistaken for a girl though- only occasional jibe from people who know he's a boy, he's built solidly though and deep voiced so i think that deters people thinking he's a girl.

My youngest daughter had short hair (winona ryder style pixie-crop) after a brother-haircut and she never got mistaken for a boy- again facially she looks very much like a girl

My youngest son gets confused ALL the time as he has noooooo hair at almost 2 and very pretty long eye lashes :laughing: hopefully people telling him what a pretty girl he is won't damage him longterm though.

I_Know_You2!
09-18-2008, 07:43 AM
I personally tend to think that long hair on an older male child is a style choice the child is making based on their personal wishes. On a toddler, or early elementary schooler, it often just seems to be a parent who likes the long hair thus the kiddo gets stuck with comments about it all the time. For the same reason I don't like ear piercing on little boys or expressing a mother's feminism by dressing their daughter like a boy. It should be a child's choice to go against societal norms later in life, not a parent making a statement with their kiddo.

One more thing I will say on this topic and then I'll shut up since I'm in the minority here, a young kid will often say what their parents want to hear so if a parent says "your curls are so beautiful and long" all the time and then says "do you want to have your pretty curls cut off?" the kiddo is unlikely to say they want it cut off because they want to please their parents.

I agree with you.

Thinking of your feminism comment reminded me of a friend who is still traumatized because her mom made her wear pants to school when it was against the rules.

imthatgirl
09-18-2008, 07:47 AM
LOL, i guess it really doesn't bother me that much what people think or say. Occasionally like yesterday, it gets under my skin, and that is usually the tone of the person saying it.
it didn't bother me or him at all last winter when he got called princess at disney.........:rotfl: but then again he was only 4.......hehe
Maybe it is me hanging onto my "baby", I did try to get him to let me cut it several times over the summer, because of being hot and icky and dirty and sweaty, but he wanted none of it.
my dd is in need of a haircut and i was thinking if I took her to one of those kid cut places, he may let them cut his hair, i prob wouldn't go super short for the first time..........but at least up off his shoulders,
he does still have that sweet baby face, and long lashes, so i can see sometimes why he gets called she.........but really i guess i get perplexed at it when he is definitely dressed like a boy, all boy, no mistake in the clothing........but oh well.
I am not one for doing what society thinks i should anyway.........:)


you say hes 4, i wonder if he isnt so much as holding on to his hair but instead just scared to get a hair cut?

Belle4mygrl
09-18-2008, 07:48 AM
I am not a big fan of long hair on boys (curls or not). IMHO, very few can pull it off and look cute. There are lots of shorter cuts that can still show off his curls without making him look like a girl.......

I am probably in the minority here, but I like little boys to look like little boys :goodvibes


I with ya! :goodvibes


As for most older men, especially,mistaking boys and girls they don't notice the outfits.

mjkacmom
09-18-2008, 08:38 AM
Just one more thing about hair...it's also pretty gross when a parent insists their daughter have long hair, when the hair is just not pretty and is stringy and thin. That is just the parent thinking "Oooh, we have a girl, let's keep her hair long". Ick. Please recognize that sometimes hair needs to be a bit shorter in order to keep it looking healthy!!!

Oh, I can't agree more! Don't brag that your child has never had a haircut - trim up those ends! No one (child or ADULT) should go more than 3 months without a cut - it just looks gross. My ds5 was the only one with baby curls, and yes, sometimes, when he was a baby, I'd dress him in his sister's jammies, and she in his, and put some ribbons in (she had NO hair). :rotfl2: However, when it started to look messy, off to the barber. :thumbsup2

Russian-in-Kansas
09-18-2008, 09:34 AM
While it does not bother me what people do with their kids' hair, it does bother me when they get offended and rude if you make an honest mistake in regards to that child's gender because of their hair. In our school there is a boy who has diamond studs in both ears and very long hair he keeps in a pony tail. At orientation my son asked me to go and meet the new girl in his class and when we went over to them, I guess the mom had overheard my son and was quite rude to my 6 year old, saying how he should look at her son's face before assuming that he is a girl and to 'never make that mistake again'. I am sorry but we are a military family and in our world it is very rare to see earings and long hair on men, it really was a mistake. I couldn't have told it was a boy just by the face and clothes don't tell me much sometimes either as girls quite often wear jeans and a tshirt too. Keep your kids' hair long or short, but please don't assume we're trying to offend you by calling your son a daughter, it really isn't that easy to tell sometimes.

KirstenB
09-18-2008, 11:15 AM
Just one more thing about hair...it's also pretty gross when a parent insists their daughter have long hair, when the hair is just not pretty and is stringy and thin. That is just the parent thinking "Oooh, we have a girl, let's keep her hair long". Ick. Please recognize that sometimes hair needs to be a bit shorter in order to keep it looking healthy!!!

I've been trying to find a tactful way to explain this to my 10 yr old dd. She and I have the same straight thin hair. Mine is very short. Like most girls her age, she had to have LONG hair. It's past her shoulders, and I make her wash it every day. Still I keep hoping she'll want it shorter. I can't figure out a way to say this without really hurting her feelings. She's a girly-girl, and having long hair is such a big deal to her. We put it in rollers before bedtime, which helps give it some lift.

npmommie
09-18-2008, 11:41 AM
you say hes 4, i wonder if he isnt so much as holding on to his hair but instead just scared to get a hair cut?

hmmm I don't think he is afraid, but he could be. He does let me snip the ends to straighten it up a bit.
he comes along when dd gets her hair cut, and last time he said he wanted a cut too.......but when it came time for his turn, he said no he didn't want to do it. He didn't act scared or upset. So I didn't push it, I don't want him to be scared.
That is why I was thinking of one of those fun kid places where they sit in an airplane or something, that may entice him. I didn't even think of doing it at Disney last time. that may have worked out too........
I am not on the computer with all my pics right now, later I can post a pic so you all can see how long it is!! LOL

nessz79
09-18-2008, 12:02 PM
hmmm I don't think he is afraid, but he could be. He does let me snip the ends to straighten it up a bit.
he comes along when dd gets her hair cut, and last time he said he wanted a cut too.......but when it came time for his turn, he said no he didn't want to do it. He didn't act scared or upset. So I didn't push it, I don't want him to be scared.
That is why I was thinking of one of those fun kid places where they sit in an airplane or something, that may entice him. I didn't even think of doing it at Disney last time. that may have worked out too........
I am not on the computer with all my pics right now, later I can post a pic so you all can see how long it is!! LOL

This is sounding more and more like my oldest...remember, the one who had some gender issues around this age. It's normal at this age to experiment with "other gender" things- my oldest would wear the princess dresses at the dress-up center at preschool. He was also obsessed with long hair at the time and would often pretend he had long hair.

I'm not saying it's not ok to experiment with things that aren't their own gender, it's just that we really had to encourage him to do boy things. We finally got him to cut his hair when we cut his younger brother's hair and made a big fuss. Since then, he's always kept it short. At 5.5 years old he realizes the social norm of boys now and wants to act like a boy. He's still my quiet, sensitive, creative little boy, but he's definitely a boy.

Anyway, this may not be your situation, but my oldest did go through the phase I just described. Just an FYI in case you do find yourself in this situation.

imthatgirl
09-18-2008, 01:16 PM
hmmm I don't think he is afraid, but he could be. He does let me snip the ends to straighten it up a bit.
he comes along when dd gets her hair cut, and last time he said he wanted a cut too.......but when it came time for his turn, he said no he didn't want to do it. He didn't act scared or upset. So I didn't push it, I don't want him to be scared.
That is why I was thinking of one of those fun kid places where they sit in an airplane or something, that may entice him. I didn't even think of doing it at Disney last time. that may have worked out too........
I am not on the computer with all my pics right now, later I can post a pic so you all can see how long it is!! LOL

sitting in a chair to get your hair cut and having mommy snip the ends are two entirely different things. i would think the longer you wait the more frightening it will become. although he is going to get to an age that he could except it. but at 4 usually anything they havent done before and are unsure about is a little scary.

personally i wouldnt worry about ti being a gender issue. not just from him not wanting a hair cut. if hes demanding he only wear skirts to school you might have an issue, but not just from his hair. i have 2 sons they both wore dress up clothes. they both wanted to carry a pocket book just like mommy. they would both put on wigs too. its so very normal. kids, no people in general are curious about anything thats different.

eh24fan
09-18-2008, 04:42 PM
I am not a big fan of long hair on boys (curls or not). IMHO, very few can pull it off and look cute. There are lots of shorter cuts that can still show off his curls without making him look like a girl.......

I am probably in the minority here, but I like little boys to look like little boys :goodvibes


I'm with you! My 20 month old had his 1st hair cut @ 4.5 months...yup. He was born with a head FULL of black hair and by then there were long pieces below his ears. DFi's family freaked and kept talking about how we should have left it to see if it got all curly like DFi's was and how cute it would be blah blah. I told 'em that he was a boy and would look like one...DFi looked like a girl. :rotfl:

I'm not into this long, shaggy look on boys unless they have a wave to it or thick curls...even then I hate the long hair. My ex let his grow long after we split. YUCK! I always beg him to let me cut the ponytail off. :lmao: Thank goodness our 8 yr old hates the long hair.