Good Manners

[BRobson]

I am sitting looking through my notes for my trip report and thought I would ask my US pals a question on manners;)

In the UK when we eat out or have guests you dont remove the empty plates until everyone at the table is finished and the check is never put on the table until we ask or we are obviously finished ;)

Is this the case in the USA ????

[luke]

god there's nothing worse than a waiter trying to take some empty plates while others still eat!!

:goodvibes

[BRobson]

god there's nothing worse than a waiter trying to take some empty plates while others still eat!!

:goodvibes

Thats what I thought - and it was my treat at the Grand Floridian too :confused3 but it also happened in a couple of other places so thought it was maybe the norm???

[MenashaCorp]

You still use plates?? :rotfl:

It's improper, but sadly very common for a restaurant server to remove settings as each person finishes. This is probably an effort to "turn the table" quickly as Disney (allegedly:lmao:) does....

[BRobson]

You still use plates?? :rotfl:



Only at the weekends and no forks and knives :laughing:

[daneenm]

This is "proper" manners in the US too. However, it is my experience lately that unless you are at a really nice restaurant, servers often clear dishes before everyone is done. It doesn't only happen at Disney.

--Daneen

[BRobson]

The worst case we had was at lunch at The Grand Floridian Cafe !!! It was not busy so he did not need the table :goodvibes

He maybe just wanted to go home:lmao:

[robind]

I agree, it seems all the restaurants are doing that more and more (it drives me crazy and affects their tip).

Except the buffet restaurants that let dirty dishes pile up all day long and never remove them.

[SamIAm21]

Now that you mention it, I notice this does happen quite often, although I must admit, I didn't realize it was bad manner to do so. I guess this does put undue stress on the party still eating though as if they should hurry up or something. I always thought it was a good thing to get my plate out from in front of me when I was done, that way I wouldn't continue to pick on it. But, I can certainly see why this would be bad manners.

It does happen quite often now that I think about it!

[drakethib]

I may be the odd ball but I would much rather have my plate taken away as soon as I am done eating.

[tinkbutt]

I think there might be two sides to this story....

I never knew this is what was considered good manners. maybe it is an age gap and it never trickled down? I am one of those people who would like my plate out of my way especially if they sit me at those "cozy" (tiny) tables for two. I actually stack my empty plates in the hopes that they will take them away!!!

[ms*mountaineer]

Now that you mention it, I notice this does happen quite often, although I must admit, I didn't realize it was bad manner to do so. I guess this does put undue stress on the party still eating though as if they should hurry up or something. I always thought it was a good thing to get my plate out from in front of me when I was done, that way I wouldn't continue to pick on it. But, I can certainly see why this would be bad manners.

It does happen quite often now that I think about it!

Same here - I didn't realize it was bad manners. I actually appreciate having the dirty plate removed. I've never assumed that meant they were trying to rush me - I just assumed they were being nice and trying to get the dirty dishes out of my way. Now that you mention it - it probably does help them turn the table quicker. But it doesn't make us move any quicker! No matter what kind of restaurant we're in (Disney or non-Disney) - we just finish at whatever pace we like.

[SamSam]

Same here, I didn't realize it was bad manners to remove plates before all were finished. I prefer dirty dishes to be removed immeadiately, so I'm glad that almost all restuarants seem to do this.

What I do not like is my second course being brought out before we have finished our first course. In fact, thanks to Kevin and John's advice, Dh and I now order 1 course at a time. It has certainly solved the problem. :goodvibes

[Cool-Beans]

It is considered rude to remove plates before everyone has finished, but very few restaurants are aware of this. I think very few Americans are aware of this.

Most people in America have the idea in their heads that "good manners" are whatever they like. The idea that we should all follow certain guidelines so that everyone is comfortable and knows who meant to insult and who didn't...it just became a bad thing. Most folks would consider the very idea "stuffy."

So, we have an entire country running around doing what they feel is correct and a bunch of people taking offense where none was intended, holding grudges, etc.

It is very confusing and causes some hard feelings.

Somewhere out there right now a woman is pissed off because the waitress hasn't yet removed her plate. Bet on it.

Nobody has any idea whether people were being rude or not. It is all completely subjective. People say things like "I think that is rude" and "Well, I don't." Nobody knows what is and isn't rude.

It's crazy! :crazy:

[kittysomerville]

I used to work at a restaurant about 7 years ago when I was in college. (Applebee's) We were trained to take the dishes away as soon as the guest was done with them. We called it pre-bussing the table. There were two reasons for this. One was to keep guests from staring at dirty plates and to make room on the table for each course. The other reason was so when they were done, we could clean the table quickly for the next guests. I found that this was crucial during high volume nights!

My personal preference is that I'd rather have my dirty plates taken away as soon as I'm done. I'm one of those "if it's in front of me, I'll pick at it" people.

[BRobson]

I was just curious really and hadn't really noticed before this incident ;) It doesn"t bother me either way ;)

It is just one of these things that is automatic with me - and I am only 37 ( not some stuffy fart from the dark ages) :hug:

[disneyholic family]

I may be the odd ball but I would much rather have my plate taken away as soon as I am done eating.

i also like to have my plate taken away as soon as i'm done....

by the way, i was just in the UK where even at some really fancy restaurants, the dishes were cleared before everyone had finished...
but as is true of most restaurants i've eaten in, they first asked if i would like them to clear them away to give me more room....i always say yes..

and if i'm the last to finish, it doesn't bother me if other plates are taken off before i'm done...
whatever makes them comfortable...

[klam_chowder]

I try to "run my plate" so that I finish at about the same time as others in my party. :goodvibes

Unfortunately I eat much faster than DH :blush: so usually it means me eating the last quarter of my portion very s-l-o-w-l-y :rotfl2:

cheers,
:flower3:

[cccm]

I waited tables at one of the top 20 busiest restaurants in the nation (privately owned) back in the late 80s/early 90s. We spent a lot of time learning how to properly serve. Which includes leaving the plates until all are done, unless specifically requested.

We also learned how to serve properly, how to place the salt/pepper properly for a blind person, how to assist diners in cracking their lobster if they needed help. I spent about 10 years working at this restaurant.

[MenashaCorp]

I try to "run my plate" so that I finish at about the same time as others in my party. :goodvibes

Unfortunately I eat much faster than DH :blush: so usually it means me eating the last quarter of my portion very s-l-o-w-l-y :rotfl2:

cheers,
:flower3:

I have soooo been there! :rotfl: Heaven forbid Friend #5 orders a SALAD!!!!:scared1:

[alebisi]

here in Italy they usually ask you if you want your plate removed or not, but while I was at Disney in 2004, I didn't really realize if they did this or not.. maybe because I was 15 by that time:rotfl:

[wishspirit]

I was just curious really and hadn't really noticed before this incident ;) It doesn"t bother me either way ;)

It is just one of these things that is automatic with me - and I am only 37 ( not some stuffy fart from the dark ages) :hug:

Yes, unless they ask it is terribly rude. I went out for a meal today, and the table was quite small, so as soon as my companion finished they asked if her if she wanted her plate taken, which is fine. If they take it without any asking or interation, then yes its rude.

Thats how i was brought up, and i am only 19!

[tinkbutt]

Yes, unless they ask it is terribly rude. I went out for a meal today, and the table was quite small, so as soon as my companion finished they asked if her if she wanted her plate taken, which is fine. If they take it without any asking or interation, then yes its rude.

Thats how i was brought up, and i am only 19!


I hope that no one took offense to my comment! I actually asked a bunch of my friends all from 19-25 and no one has heard of this. I was just saying that maybe this has not been passed down on the maryland eastern shore! I believe europeans usually have better manners than some (ok MOST) americans so maybe it just got lost in translation:confused3

[Jubilee]

This is "proper" manners in the US too. However, it is my experience lately that unless you are at a really nice restaurant, servers often clear dishes before everyone is done. It doesn't only happen at Disney.

--Daneen

Exactly. I'm a former server in fine dining and we were told to feel the table out. They want us to take plates to get them out of people's way -- because a lot of Americans would think it's poor service for them to NOT be removed immediately.

Honestly, I knew with Europeans to leave the plates until everyone was finished, but sometimes I would get it wrong and American would like to keep his plate until his guest/s were finished. Embarrassing for me! As a rule, I don't take the man's plate until his wife is finished, but I'll sometimes take the woman's plate if she finishes first (hardly ever) and we're always taught to take a plate if it's pushed to the side, has the fork flipped upside down, or has a napkin on it.

[BriarRosie]

I think a strong exception to the rule should be buffets.

When you eat at a buffet, you're expected to get a new plate each time you visit a station. If the servers didn't remove the old plates, you'd have quite a stack of dirty plates on the table!

I think everyone should expect this at a buffet, and appreciate that it's considered GOOD when they do this. As for menu ordering table service, I don't mind having my plate taken away when I'm done.

[disneyholic family]

I believe europeans usually have better manners than some (ok MOST) americans so maybe it just got lost in translation:confused3

you must not have been in europe recently if you believe this...(and you must never have been in france :rolleyes: )

[luke]

Oh yes, I find Americans generally have much better manners than most Europeans

:goodvibes

[disneyholic family]

Oh yes, I find Americans generally have much better manners than most Europeans

:goodvibes


i don't know if americans have better or worse manners, but americans on average certainly will stand in line more obediently than many other nationalities....
that was what we most disliked about disneyland paris .....we constantly felt as if we had to fight for our place in line....very different from WDW....

[BRobson]

you must not have been in europe recently if you believe this...(and you must never have been in france :rolleyes: )

:lmao: the times we have been to DLP some of the manners have been shocking!

[tinkbutt]

oh I am not saying anyone actually uses the manners they were taught but they seem to know what is the proper way,now if they follow those rules :confused3

I know I have learned a lot from other board members that I never knew would be considered rude:confused:

[WaltD4Me]

I may be the odd ball but I would much rather have my plate taken away as soon as I am done eating.

I totally agree. I don't like sitting there with the empty plate, I would much rather they clear plates as people finish and not wait until everyone is done.
I didn't know it was bad manners to do so though.

[luke]

I wouldn't say it's bad manners, just over here it's considered bad service.
I think it's more to do with not wanting waiters 'messing about' at your table while people are still eating.

:goodvibes

[lilmrsellis]

I don't think I've ever been to a restaurant where they just yank your plate out from under you when they think you are done. They always ask and I always say yes. :thumbsup2

As far as Europeans having the best manners, totally wrong. I think it is just because they sound so nice even when they are being horrible. We had a waiter on a cruise who said Americans were some of the nicest people in the world. He said Americans are almost always polite and when you see them off the ship, they are always saying "Join us." It was touching really.:goodvibes :goodvibes :goodvibes

[disneyholic family]

I don't think I've ever been to a restaurant where they just yank your plate out from under you when they think you are done. They always ask and I always say yes. :thumbsup2

As far as Europeans having the best manners, totally wrong. I think it is just because they sound so nice even when they are being horrible. We had a waiter on a cruise who said Americans were some of the nicest people in the world. He said Americans are almost always polite and when you see them off the ship, they are always saying "Join us." It was touching really.:goodvibes :goodvibes :goodvibes

americans really are nice ... very nice and very friendly..

i was just thinking about this when i was home visiting in suburban detroit in June...(i live overseas now - on the "wrong" side of the atlantic)....
how very friendly and nice everyone is....i really love midwesterners and detroiters in particular....just nice people....people that you want to sit and spend time with....
i went to my high school reunion when i was home and i was struck by it.....i'd forgotten how very nice detroiters are.....
ok - so now go ahead and make your detroit jokes...but detroit and michigan really are lovely, whatever the bad press might have you believe....

[FireDancer]

I prefer having my plate taken away as soon as I am done and will actually ask the waiter/waitress to take it. I don’t need to look at my dirty empty plate while everyone else finishes eating.

[luke]

do you not think that's a bit unfair on those still eating? To have a waiter fussing round the table?
Oh and I'm not sure about those 'soccer' teams in your sig either ;)

:goodvibes

[Cyrano]

When I trained as a waiter we were always told never to remove patrons plates until the entire table was finished. Normally asking to be sure in case someone was just have a break :)
I think I would have been quite annoyed if any waiter/waitress remove anyone plates.
The expection is in buffet restaurants where they want to keep the tables clear as patrons go up for refills or different courses.
Shame that this happened at the GF :snooty:

[FireDancer]

do you not think that's a bit unfair on those still eating? To have a waiter fussing round the table?
Oh and I'm not sure about those 'soccer' teams in your sig either ;)

:goodvibes

I don't think it is unfair. Sometimes I am the last one eating, sometimes I am not. I don't really notice it all that often. There is a little bit of a difference in the way restaurant service is here. I can’t speak for England but I know in Italy the waiter comes around a lot less often and you have to ask for more. Over here when your water glass is empties it is refilled almost without asking. In Italy, it stays empty until you ask for a refill. I think it is a bit of a standard of service difference. Not better or worse, just differenet.

What do you mean about the 'soccer' teams...I though all the scousers were Man U fans and Juventus just gave you the opportunity to concentrate on the domestic league for a couple of years :lmao:

[luke]

seriously, that last comment is a bit out of order, the juve one I mean

:goodvibes

[Jubilee]

Well the good that comes from this post is that everyone can see we have different standards. I'm sure WDW servers are torn because of differing etiquette opinions.

[FireDancer]

Perhaps it was a bit harsh. I was trying to take lemons and make lemonade.

[luke]

:) sorry, just I had friends and family at Heysel and it's a pretty dark day for us as well as Juve, and don't believe everything you've heard of that day :)

:goodvibes

[FireDancer]

I guess we can look at the bright side, this might be the best ever post hijack...from empty plates to Heysel.

[luke]

Haha especially as most people have no idea what we're talking about!! I blame the waiters ;)

:goodvibes

[FireDancer]

There will be a lot of google-ing, luckily google knows everything.:thumbsup2

[luke]

Haha google THINKS it knows everything!

Anyway, slightly different hijack, but why Juve and Man Utd, if you don't mind me asking?

:goodvibes

[wishspirit]

:lmao: the times we have been to DLP some of the manners have been shocking!

I have seen it live! I am preparing again for September, the queuing system is usually a lot rougher and less gracious.

I guess the main thing is about asking (yes i have had grumpy waiters not ask) if an American waiter or waitress asked me if i wanted my plate removed, i wouldn't think it was rude at all (unless they seriously butted in on conversation, but even then i hesitate on the nicer side :goodvibes )

However i was always taught it was rude as it made the other person feel they had to eat faster or made them feel guilty. It also stops people staring too intently at the table top!

I would never take offense if it was done politely and discretely, like most things whilst out in public i guess! So don't worry about offending us Brits too much! I personally love dining in American resturants, its usually a much nicer, friendlier atmosphere than in the UK, plus its cheaper! :rotfl:

I personally don't see the generalised differences between countries, i mean there are bad seeds in every bunch. I just go out of my way to be a representative of my country and present England in a good light.

[UrsulasShadow]

I personally don't see the generalised differences between countries, i mean there are bad seeds in every bunch. I just go out of my way to be a representative of my country and present England in a good light.

And I'm certain you do just that, Katydid!

[FireDancer]

Haha google THINKS it knows everything!

Anyway, slightly different hijack, but why Juve and Man Utd, if you don't mind me asking?

:goodvibes

:offtopic: (Just as a warning for everyone else) :)

Juve for a couple of reasons. First, I am a big Ferrari F1 fan (the third logo in the little signature photoshop) and the founder of Fiat (who's umbrella Ferrari are under) also owned Juve. The Agnelli family is still in control of much of the club. Second, when I was starting to follow football there was a certain Zidane character you might have heard of at the club and he was just magical to watch. Third, I am half Italian and needed an Italian club to follow so with the other two factors it was just a natural fit.

Man U started more out of convenience. Before we had the 'soccer' channels over here we had to watch what we could when we could find it. Man U was the team that was easiest to find and then as time went on I became a fan. First because it was the only club you could watch consistently and then because they played some pretty good ball.

Without the family history or city loyalty you get from being thousands of miles away you don't have the natural choice that you would have growing up in Liverpool or London or Milan or places like that.