I am so upset and don't know what to do....

[danilynn19]

My ds (18) wanted his gf of over 2 years to come to Disney with us. So I agreed (seperate rooms though). Well everything is going well and all of a sudden he tells me they broke up. :scared: I kept my fingers crossed that they would make up and she could still come with us...especially since she gave me $1000 for her tickets to Disney, Universal, Disney Queat, MVMCP, Sea World and the Pirate Dinner show. Including airfare etc. But no such luck, he says they've been arguing for about 4 months now and decided to break up before they hate each other. Which I respect, but now what? :confused3
Well, the airline tells me that I they can't refund they can only give her credit. She's ok with that. But now what the heck do I do with the tickets that are locked up in our safe. :sad2: I offered her the tickets and her mother being the witch that she is said no she wants the money. Does anyone have any ideas? I am NOT trying to make a profit I just want this girl to get her ticket price back. :idea: She is a sweetheart and I still love her to death..:love: ..wish son would realize that too, but I can't force it. Any suggestions?

[jacksmommy]

I would make your son pay her back. He asked if she could come so to me it is his responsibility to make this right. If I was her mom I would want the money back too, ykwim? If you can sell the ticket to someone else I think that is great solution but if not I think she should get the money back for a ticket she is not using. The situation sucks for sure though.

[Claire&TheBoys]

I would tell the mother that according to Disney, tickets are non-transferable and non-refundable. I would give her the tickets and phone numbers and tell her that if she wants to invest her own time into trying to get her money back, to be your guest, but you are not going to spend hours of your time doing it.

[danilynn19]

I would tell the mother that according to Disney, tickets are non-transferable and non-refundable. I would give her the tickets and phone numbers and tell her that if she wants to invest her own time into trying to get her money back, to be your guest, but you are not going to spend hours of your time doing it.

HHHMMMMM I kind of like that idea. I mean we've tried getting someone else to come with us and nothing. Shoot if it was me and my kid already paid and we're getting credit with the airline I'd be like gimme I'll talk her. I mean she's 17 and has never been. I was REALLY looking forward to her coming with us for 2 reasons. One she another girl...thank god! 2. To see Disney through someone else's eyes for the first time especially during the Christmas season.:santa:

[eelderm1]

If you bought your self tickets and then for whatever reason could not go then that would be your problem. Well unfortunatly this is her problem , not yours.pirate: princess:

[danilynn19]

I would make your son pay her back. He asked if she could come so to me it is his responsibility to make this right. If I was her mom I would want the money back too, ykwim? If you can sell the ticket to someone else I think that is great solution but if not I think she should get the money back for a ticket she is not using. The situation sucks for sure though.

See then I think it's not fair to my son either. They both agreed to break up and she was the one that asked him to ask me if she could come. Grrrrr kids.:mad:

[srwarden1928]

Since the tickets are nonrefundable, I would give the girl the tickets she paid for. I would NOT make your son pay for them. Unless the breakup was totally his fault (and most of them are BOTH people's fault) he should not be punished more. Im sure he is hurting enough. Giving her what she paid for is NOT taking advantage of her. Maybe she can arrange her OWN Disney trip soon.

[lugnut33]

Give her the tickets and tell her they never expire and she can use them someday.

If you tell me the dates I might be able to come along with you??:banana: :love: :flower3: :lmao:

[flexsmom]

I would make your son pay her back. He asked if she could come so to me it is his responsibility to make this right. If I was her mom I would want the money back too, ykwim? If you can sell the ticket to someone else I think that is great solution but if not I think she should get the money back for a ticket she is not using. The situation sucks for sure though.

I totally disagree. Why should she have the expectation that all of this is totally refundable? She provided the funds for the purchase of particular tickets, and they've been purchased. If she chooses not to go now, then she has to figure out what to do with what she purchased - just like anyone else would who was in that situation. Sure, if I was her mom, I'd want the money back, too - but I'd also be advising my child that if she forked over that kind of cash, she should have known the terms and conditions of what it was she was buying (and I should know that as her mom, too - since she's 17 and a minor.) YOU were not selling her the tickets, such that her mom can demand the cash back. Disney sold them - and they come with strings.

I'm sorry you're dealing with this. I'd hand over the tickets, along with receipts to show how much they cost, and wish them well in selling them somehow.

[thesupersmartguy]

Maybe, YOU could invite her to come with YOU, not as his girlfriend, but as a family friend who already has tickets and needs someone to go with.

Hope it works out for all of you.

[connie1042]

I think she should go as friends. They were not sharing a room anyway. Tell them the only rule is no fighting. They are 17 years old, I think they could get along for a week.

[Aisling]

I think you should give her her tickets and let her decide what to do with them. She made a decision to go, it's her problem now. As sweet as she is, she has to learn personal responsiblilty. I think even Judge Judy would even agree with me.;)

[jamieT]

I think she should go as friends. They were not sharing a room anyway. Tell them the only rule is no fighting. They are 17 years old, I think they could get along for a week.

I think this might be a good idea if they are still friends. However if they are not then I think she should just get the tickets. Why should you be out the money?? DO NOT BE BULLIED BY HER MOM. She asked to go, you allowed it, she purchased the tickets..What does her mom think you are her daughters trip insurance?? Come on! I think she is entitled to her tickets and she still will get to use the airfare. MAybe she can find another person to go with. Do not feel guilty about giving her the tickets and not the money!pirate:

No real reason for the pirate, but I just never get to use him!! HA

[ireland_nicole]

I mostly agree w/ pp's; I would offer her the tickets and they can do as they like with them. However, I would do my best to be very nice about it, and if you're comfortable, reiterate that she is still welcome on the trip. At the end of the day, kids are a little fickle, and you never know if they're gonna go back across the bridge kwim?

[momof1+1+2]

I think that the tickets are hers and she needs to keep them and use them at a later date or take the loss. She knew what she was getting into and if she didn't, that's not your fault either. You shouldn't take the $1000 loss either....don't let her mom bully you.

[gk90]

I think this might be a good idea if they are still friends. However if they are not then I think she should just get the tickets. Why should you be out the money?? DO NOT BE BULLIED BY HER MOM. She asked to go, you allowed it, she purchased the tickets..What does her mom think you are her daughters trip insurance?? Come on! I think she is entitled to her tickets and she still will get to use the airfare. MAybe she can find another person to go with. Do not feel guilty about giving her the tickets and not the money!pirate:

No real reason for the pirate, but I just never get to use him!! HA

jamieT, LOL on the pirate, and I agree with your comments. danilynn19, as the mom is a witch and you don't want to deal with her, send the tickets directly to the daughter. If the mom comes after you, tell her what previous posters here have said. Screen your calls if you need to and walk the other way if you see her coming toward you menacingly. Or pretend you're a pirate! pirate:
Seriously, you have my sympathy. It sounds like an upsetting situation and I hope it all works out for the best. Keep us posted!

[Joshua_me]

Hmm...

That's a tough situation. I'm trying to think how Judge Judy would handle this one...

I think it would be something along the lines of this:

The girl gave you the money for the expressed purpose of buying a plane ticket, Disney tickets, etc. When she gave you the money, she informed you that she wanted to go with your family.

In turn, you bought her the tickets that she requested.

You fulfilled your end of the bargain.

Now, if she doesn't want to go...No matter what the circumstances, that's not your problem.

You are not forbidding her to go, the offer still stands, in a legal sort of way.

If she chooses not to, well then, that's too bad. You have already done what was asked of you.

[suprgrlx]

I think that the tickets are hers and she needs to keep them and use them at a later date or take the loss. She knew what she was getting into and if she didn't, that's not your fault either. You shouldn't take the $1000 loss either....don't let her mom bully you.

I totally agree with this. It is NOT your fault that she's not coming (unless she's still asking to go and you said no). Obviously I would give her the tickets that she bought, but I wouldn't give her the money. You bought the tickets on her behalf as a favour to her, to save her the trouble of have to do this herself; if you had not done that then she just would have had to go buy them directly and she would be in the same situation as she is now. You were a friend doing a favour. Not a business with some sort of refund policy.

Since you seem to like the girl, you could always suggest that she try to sell them on ebay/craigslist if that's legal (not sure if it is). Or you could keep an ear out for somebody else going that might be willing to take the ticket off her hands. Or if your son has another friend who is interested in going maybe they could work out a deal and buy the ticket from the girl. If one of these works, she might get all/some of her money back.

[Lynn5700]

Well you never know...they could get back together. How long have they been broken up for?

Ok I would give her the tix...I mean they are her tickets that she bought so I think it would be her responsibility. It is not like your son just broke up with her..it was mutual.

Good luck!!! :)

[saint71]

Try convincing her to come. The both of them at disney being around all that magic... they will most likely get back together. :wizard:

[sjaakie]

Try convincing her to come. The both of them at disney being around all that magic... they will most likely get back together. :wizard:

And fore your son into an unpleased situation?

[saint71]

And fore your son into an unpleased situation?

I think i would probably sit the both of them down and have a talk, you know a "Relationship" talk. :teacher:

[aribelle]

I think I'd be thanking my lucky stars that she had paid you in advance! I mean, think about it....how many threads do we have about best friends/relatives that said they wanted to go, DISer bought everything on their credit card and now best friend/relative says "oh, we can't go"....and DISer is left holding the bag! Those threads almost always lean towards best friend/relative owes DISer the money.

This is not any different......except she already paid you. Very sorry they broke up, hope they can stay friends, but the fact is that she gave YOU the money only as a convenience and so all the ressies were together. She could have just as easily have bought them herself, and then would she be demanding that you refund? Sounds like mom is just pissed that she put out all this cash and then your "evil boy dumped my precious angel". Sounds like the girl is being more mature than the mom!

I'd give them back the airplane tickets and the gate tickets and let them decide what to do. Depending on the airline, some will refund with a fee, some will give you a credit towards another flight, and some SHE is just outta luck. Disney gate tickets that aren't used will never expire, so hopefully sometime in her life she'll get to Disney...don't know about the other tickets, but that's really and truly HER problem.

I would be very reluctant to take her with you now that they've broken up. I think it's very mature that they decided to part before they lost their friendship, but it sounds like it was a mutual, and very mature for their age decision. It could be rather awkward now to be together as friends for something like this....what if a couple days into they start arguing.....that can really dampen everyone's enjoyment (hey, will her mom then compensate you for a spoiled vacation???, sorry couldn't resist).

You owe her nothing out of your pocket.....give her the tickets that she paid for, and that's it. Check your ADRs to be sure you didn't prepay any meal that you'll want to change.....if an ADR is just a credit card hold though, no need to cancel, so long as SOMEONE shows up for that ADR they won't charge you for a lower number of guests. I know CRT is prepaid, and I think there are others??

[CursedCarolers]

Oh man, I wish you could tell them to get back together and go. For two reasons:

1. It solves your problem! :) haha

2. Me and my girlfriend (I'm 18 and she's 20) were having a little bit of trouble and then we went to Disney together a month or two ago and since then neither of us could be happier. That's Disney magic for ya. I'm sure it could go the complete opposite way though...

[stemikger]

Posted by Jacksmom
I would make your son pay her back. He asked if she could come so to me it is his responsibility to make this right.

This is spot on. As much as this situation sucks, it really is your son's responsibility.

Good Luck.

[Praying Colonel]

See then I think it's not fair to my son either. They both agreed to break up and she was the one that asked him to ask me if she could come. Grrrrr kids.:mad:

Hate to say it, but even though he may be your kid, he's not a kid. He's an adult now.

If my 19 y/o asked me to let a friend come along and it ended up not working out, my 19 y/o would have to deal with it. I would not be refunding anything.

[ms*mountaineer]

Hmm...

That's a tough situation. I'm trying to think how Judge Judy would handle this one...

I think it would be something along the lines of this:

The girl gave you the money for the expressed purpose of buying a plane ticket, Disney tickets, etc. When she gave you the money, she informed you that she wanted to go with your family.

In turn, you bought her the tickets that she requested.

You fulfilled your end of the bargain.

Now, if she doesn't want to go...No matter what the circumstances, that's not your problem.

You are not forbidding her to go, the offer still stands, in a legal sort of way.

If she chooses not to, well then, that's too bad. You have already done what was asked of you.


This is a good analysis of the situation! The offer still stands that she can go - it's her choice to not go. Let her deal with it. Give her all the tickets and let her determine whether to go or how to get money from the tickets. Not your problem.

Also - you ARE very lucky that you were paid in advance for all this!

You're sitting pretty here! Hand over the tickets and wash your hands of the whole thing!

[Matt'sMom]

she gave me $1000 for her tickets to Disney, Universal, Disney Queat, MVMCP, Sea World and the Pirate Dinner show. Including airfare etc... Well, the airline tells me that I they can't refund they can only give her credit. She's ok with that. But now what the heck do I do with the tickets that are locked up in our safe...

I agree with those who say the girl requested and paid for the tickets, so just give them to her. It is her decision whether or not to keep them for her own future use... or try to return/sell them for whatever $$$ she can get.

Since this girl wanted to go to WDW, and requested that you use her money to go ahead and purchase her tickets for her, it is now her responsibility to deal with the consequences of what (if I'm understanding OP correctly) was a mutual break-up. Should not be your problem. This could be a very good life lesson for this girl--that the choices she makes have very real consequences, and that she is responsible for her own choices. She chose to purchase tickets--her choice. The fact that she may not use them for a while, since it sounds like she no longer is interested in traveling with your family, is also her choice. ;)

[parmtoo]

I think this difficult.......I would NOT make your son pay! Breakups are hard on a young couple and he invited her thinking they would be together forever. She paid for her tickets, so give them to her and explain that they are non-refundable, so planning a trip for herself in the future is something to look forward to.
If they get back together before you go to WDW, she has nothing to worry about, as her trip is already paid, right? Good luck.......

[Cee]

I agree with giving her the tickets that she paid for. She can sell them. I was
left with tickets to MNSSHP one year and sold them to a very nice couple who
was thrilled to get them since the party was sold out. She can recoup the $$
in part if she wants to. But let HER do the "leg work". Then you go and have
a wonderful vacation. Don't let this be your problem for another minute.

[MichelleVW]

Try convincing her to come. The both of them at disney being around all that magic... they will most likely get back together. :wizard:

I think i would probably sit the both of them down and have a talk, you know a "Relationship" talk. :teacher:


Seriously they are 17 and 18. If they are broken up and have been fighting for 4 months then my guess is that they need to stay broken up.

I would have never agreed to take the girl in the first place but you did and now you're stuck. Give the kid back her tickets and be done with it. Too bad the Mommy wants cash...she'll get over it.

[goofy4tink]

I've been sitting here, wondering how I would handle this situation if one of my kids put me in your postition. This is what I came up with...
I would let the girl, and her family, deal with the airfare issue themselves. They get a credit, they can use it down the road. If not, that's their issue.
The park tickets are good forever. She can hold onto those or sell them to someone else..her choice.
The special party tickets I would pay her back for and then try to sell them to someone while in Disney, the night of the party. Those are not going to be usable on any other date, so you need to try to sell them yourself.

[mnasmom3]

Tough situation, for sure. I think I might see if another friend or family member of you/your son can join you so they can buy the tickets and the ex gets her cash back. If there is no one who you want to join you or no one who can, then I think I'd say I've done my part and give her the tickets and the airline info to get the flight credit.

[kimis]

I feel for you! This is a tough situation. However if disney doesn't refund certain items than why should you? I agree with the pp's. Give her the items and let her with her family work out the money loss. Maybe it will be a good incentive for her family to take a vacation. Keep us posted.

[jmann]

It is not your responsibility or your son's. Give her the ticket and say good luck. These are the things that happen in life. Her mother wanting the cash is again not your problem. You tired to do a nice thing by setting it all up. If they broke up then that is the consequences. She is choosing not to go. Chances are if she did come then the tension could end up ruining your trip.

[mickeynut1]

I don't agree with it being the son's responsibility. In post #6, the OP states that the GIRLFRIEND asked her boyfriend to ask his mother if she could go......so I think the girlfriend should take responsibility and not expect to get any money back. She made the decision to go and paid $1000 for all the tickets and now she's backing out.....for good reason, I guess :confused3.... but nonetheless, backing out. I think her mother needs to realize that the tickets are non-refundable and her daughter is stuck with them as the OP should NOT refund her anything. OP.....I say give the girl her tickets and be done with it. The mother will be angry, I'm sure, but you shouldn't be out $1000 for this girl changing her mind. The two of them mutually agreed to break up, so she needs to get the things she paid for and deal with it on her own.

[christa112]

I would give her the tickets and tell her to figure out what to do with them. Tell her to sell them in the local paper, on craigs list or on Ebay she can get their money back from there.

I also would not invite her on vacation with you because if things take a turn for the worse and she wants to go home that will be all on you.

[tinkerbellmagic]

Hi, Sorry about this mess you are in. Here's my 2 cents.

You didn't invite her. She invited herself. I agree with others that said to hand over everything to the ex-girlfriend and let her and her mom deal with it. I agree with the person who said that the ex and her mom need to know cancelling trips comes with strings and the consequences usually end up with lost money.

I am 100% against taking this girl on your vacation as a friend. This is a vacation for you, not a battle ground. You are supposed to be having fun, not having to worry about the tension of the break up, or worse, more fighting. The best thing for your son is time away from the situation. Perhaps he never really wanted her to go anyway, since they weren't getting along for quite some time, and she talked him into it. I think it is mature they broke up after all the fighting.

Now with all that said, about the MNSSHP, there is a slight chance that if you call Disney and explain that a member of your party is not able to go to the MNSSHP party and politely ask for a refund on her ticket, they might comply, even though it is non-refundable. You never know. I was able to do that with 2 MVMCP tix when my sister and her husband decided not to go with us (lesson learned for me - let everyone buy their own tix). I should say this was way back in 2003, though. Disney had me mail the tix back with a letter of explanation. They credited my cc. And you don't want to send anything back to them without calling for an ok first. I didn't send them back registered mail or "return receipt requested," like they suggested, I used first class and it was fine, but I trust the mail for the most part, you'd have to decide.

I loved the Judge Judy opinion - right on target!

Don't let the girlfriend's mom ruin your magic. She needs to take some responsibility for her child inviting herself on someone elses vacation. Remember, you didn't ask, the girlfriend did.

Good luck!

[starwood]

The only problem I see is that she is 17 and minor. A minor cannot make a contract with you about going on the trip so I think "legally" you would have to give her her money back. Personally I think she should eat the cost.

[jj1403]

Sorry I don't agree with the last post. Anyone can purchase Disney Tickets if you have the money. Being a minor has nothing to do with it.

There was no contract..verbal or other wise. Did you pocket the money she gave you?? NO. Give her back her tickets and let her decide what to do with them.

If you want out of good faith keep the tickets that are for the special event on that day sort of thing... but other than that it's not your responsiblitiy and you should not be left with the costs.

[caroline1851]

I think that the tickets are hers and she needs to keep them and use them at a later date or take the loss. She knew what she was getting into and if she didn't, that's not your fault either. You shouldn't take the $1000 loss either....don't let her mom bully you.

ditto

[Teacher03]

My best advice is DO NOT take the girl as a friend or otherwise. My son took his girlfriend one summer, and she had a blast but he had a terrible time. We didn't know it, but he wasn't happy in the relationship but felt bad because we had already asked her, she paid for her ticket (we paid for everything else). We loved her, but he didn't.

OP, I think you should just give her mother the tickets and that should be the end of it. You are not obligated to give her the money back.

[craigs bride]

i just had to reply ........my daughters friend is coming with us next yr and at the moment they are not best buddies so to speak as they are hanging with different friends
we have told our dd and her friend/parents that if she pays for flight tickets then they majorly fall out she does have the option still to come BUT if she decides not to then she will not get a refund as we cant afford to give back her money and they are fine with this ....im hoping this doesnt happen !

could the ex girl friend still not come just as friends ?
sorry just read other posts about this ...

[crzy4mickey]

The mom agreed to let her go and you did exactly what was asked of you. That's the end. It is not your responsibiltiy to refund her the money. Just give her the tickets and let her deal with it. It is not your son's responsibility to pay her back either! :confused3 Don't even deal with the mom, give everything to the (ex)girlfreind. I would worry about bringing her as a friend what if it turns ugly! IF they are good friends then maybe they can go and have a good time but you never know (as you already learned) what can happen. Good luck. But maybe i'm free...when are you going?:lmao:

[arielchickenofthesea]

I would tell the mother that according to Disney, tickets are non-transferable and non-refundable. I would give her the tickets and phone numbers and tell her that if she wants to invest her own time into trying to get her money back, to be your guest, but you are not going to spend hours of your time doing it.

ABSOLUTELY! The tickets are not refundable, so why should you pay the girl or her mother for the tickets. The airline will NOT refund you the money, and you should not have to pay them and lose money. It is not your fault she is not going!

I have seen these very cases on Judge Judy and you would have every right to just give the girl the tickets and tell her to call the airlines if she wants to fight for a refund. The airline will tell her when she can use them and that she will NOT get a refund and that will be that.

The mother has no right to expect YOU to pay for them out of your pocket if it is the airlines policy. She is out of her mind if she thinks YOU owe her the money. If anyone does, it is the airlines and they have their policies. Sheesh!:confused3 Do NOT pay her for the tickets. She wanted to go and now she isn't, but that is not YOUR fault and you owe her nothing but the tickets...those are hers, she paid for them and that is what she is entitled to.

ariel

[snykymom]

Yes, I saw a case almost identical to this one on Judge Judy (or was it People's Court? Whatever - can you tell I watch too much TV? :happytv: ). The response: The tickets are non-refundable. You can still use them if you wish; that's not the defendant's problem. Defendant, give plaintiff the tickets and we're done.

[mvmarcz]

Give the girl the tickets, she paid for them, they are non refundable, it's all on her.
And if her mother gets in your face about it tell her she let her daughter put the money down and if she felt her daughter was adult enough to make the decision to go and pay for it they should both be adult enough to accept the consequences. It's a terrible thing to have happened but if you give the girl the tickets and she feels they may still reconcile then she can hold onto them before deciding to try and get rid of them.
:surfweb:

[arielchickenofthesea]

Yes, I saw a case almost identical to this one on Judge Judy (or was it People's Court? Whatever - can you tell I watch too much TV? :happytv: ). The response: The tickets are non-refundable. You can still use them if you wish; that's not the defendant's problem. Defendant, give plaintiff the tickets and we're done.

Me too...Love the judge shows... hehehehe:rotfl: But you can glean a whole lot of good info from them and this is a case that says you do not have to pay for the tickets, you just must give the tickets to the one who paid for them...

ariel

glad to see I am not the only one watching daytime TV...I am retired and some days I am too tired to do anything else but watch the judge shows. Love those...:goodvibes heeheehee

[7beasley]

I did not read through the whole thread yet so forgive me if someone already posted this...but maybe your DS has another friend who would like to go with him in place of his girlfriend...if so - the friend can "buy" the tickets from the girlfriemd.

Just a thought.

Good luck.

Nicole

[disneyfav4ever]

Maybe, YOU could invite her to come with YOU, not as his girlfriend, but as a family friend who already has tickets and needs someone to go with.

Hope it works out for all of you.I agree with this. I have no idea what the situation is between your DS and his ex, but I know several couples who have broken up, but remained friends.

[DisneyJen0504]

I would tell the mother that according to Disney, tickets are non-transferable and non-refundable. I would give her the tickets and phone numbers and tell her that if she wants to invest her own time into trying to get her money back, to be your guest, but you are not going to spend hours of your time doing it.

I totally agree.

[rie'smom]

Give her the tickets. She can use the WDW tickets anytime. As for the MVMCP ticket, year before last I bought 4 and then my brother and his fiance decided to get married the same night that as we planned to use the MVMCP tickets. Instead of the tickets being wasted, I gave them to someone on the DIS. Suggest that to her or if you want to put yourself out for her, tell her that you'll sell them, if you can,for her.
In no way should you bear the responsibilty for any of these tickets.

[Buckeyemouse]

I agree with most other posters that it is the girl's problem not yours. I would not invite her to come down with you as a friend (too awkward). I wish my DD and her boyfriend would break up. It would be worth $1,000 dollars to me.:rotfl: :rotfl:

[parmtoo]

I agree with most other posters that it is the girl's problem not yours. I would not invite her to come down with you as a friend (too awkward). I wish my DD and her boyfriend would break up. It would be worth $1,000 dollars to me.:rotfl: :rotfl:


:rotfl: :rotfl: I've been there too! There were a few during my DDs dating years that would have glady paid to be rid of!!!!!!!!!:rotfl:

[mrp4352]

I may be too over-the-top here, but since the Mom is being such a pain over the refund.. When you give them the tickets, you might consider getting something in writing that says they took possession of the tickets.

Hopefully it won't come to the point where you need that, but it wouldn't hurt to be prepared.

[HdnMickeyGrl]

Sounds like maybe it's mom and not the gf who paid the $1000. But honestly that's her loss. I guess with two years invested in the relationship it seemed like a pretty sure thing but it honestly sounds like gf should be paying mom and dad back for the $1000 minus the plane ticket.

You could always suggest she try to sell them for face value. She could try to do that on Craigslist. You should be able to get a refund for the MVMCP ticket. I couldn't go to the Halloween party last year and my mother got a refund by returning the ticket. Of course, she did this at the park. I would assume the Christmas party would be the same way. It's not much but it's something toward the $1000.

I guess the only argument against you is that maybe you could have waited to buy the tickets, etc... but if you had already asked for the money and had planned this ahead then it shouldn't be a surprise to them that everything had been purchased.

[LisaInNc]

I would give her back the tickets, they can still be used and have thair valuel. To me it seems LUCKY that the airline will issue her a credit and she still has the tickets for a later trip.

Hand it over to your son to deliver to the girl and let the Mom deal with Disney if she wants a refund.

The Mom should know better! It's life sometimes it doesn't work out.

[aribelle]

I've been sitting here, wondering how I would handle this situation if one of my kids put me in your postition. This is what I came up with...
I would let the girl, and her family, deal with the airfare issue themselves. They get a credit, they can use it down the road. If not, that's their issue.
The park tickets are good forever. She can hold onto those or sell them to someone else..her choice.
The special party tickets I would pay her back for and then try to sell them to someone while in Disney, the night of the party. Those are not going to be usable on any other date, so you need to try to sell them yourself.

I'm curious why you think that the OP should be the one "out" the money for the special party tickets? If you feel that the girl and her family have the responsibility for dealing with their own airline and park ticket refunds, why not the special party tickets? Not trying to start anything, just curious what reasoning you use to say the girl is responsible for her own airline and park tickets, but not the special party tickets? Weren't they all paid in the same spirit.....that the girl was going, not really as a guest of the OP because she was paying her own way, but more as "sure come along".

If you or I had purchased special party tickets and then for whatever reason, be it our fault or someone else's fault or no-one in particular's fault, then we'd be out that special party money, and maybe other things as well. It's part of the risk you take when you purchase something so far in advance. How many posts do we see on DIS where someone had to cancel their trip last minute and is out all kinds of money (non-refundable airline tickets being the biggest one I see, but quite often the part tickets too). There is a post from the last day or two about a military family where they are schedule to leave in less than a week and DH's leave is being held up because of some paperwork, and because it's so close that family stands to lose a LOT in terms of airfare, deposits, etc. And it certainly isn't THEIR fault....DH put in for his leave quite some time ago, was conditionally approved (typical of military, they'll never say yes because the very meaning of being in the military is ready to go at a moment's notice......as far as the military is concerned he could be at Disney for a single day of his 10 day leave and be recalled and too bad for the family). But now, because some higher up is sitting on paperwork his leave is in jeopardy. Shouldn't someone somewhere be responsible for this family getting all their money back if they can't go now? The military certainly won't reimburse them....Disney may or may not, they certainly don't have to, but pixie dust tends to be strong over military families.

Perhaps the girl and her family in this thread could contact Disney, explain the situation and request a refund. Disney has reportedly given a few refunds, but it seems to be on a case by case basis, so maybe she'll get lucky, maybe she'll have to lose that $50 and chalk it up to the cost of a break up and making plans in advance. A relatively inexpensive life lesson really. And we all know if Disney says no, even though these say non-transferable a quick look at Ebay and you can see that's not stopping people from reselling them.

I still believe that the girl is responsible for her own cancelled trip expenses. OP shouldn't have to bear them as OP did nothing wrong. Neither did the girl really, but it was her money and her decision, and not she has to face the same consequences of cancelling a trip as ANY of us have to, and that includes loss of money.

[HdnMickeyGrl]

I think perhaps because the gf wanted to go to the park but maybe not necessarily a special event. The OP was the one who planned to attend the special event party night so perhaps that was the reasoning behind thinking the OP shoud be the one to refund for that particular ticket. However, as my above post shows. The OP should be able to get a refund for the party ticket so it's kind of a moot point. My mother was able to get a refund for the Halloween party last year. She just gave them back the ticket. Although, like I said, she did this in person so the OP might have to do this in person.

[snykymom]

glad to see I am not the only one watching daytime TV
Around here, Judge Judy & People's Court are on in the early evenings! Unfortunately, I'm not yet able to watch daytime TV routinely - not quite retired.

[Mr. & Mrs. Smith]

The only problem I see is that she is 17 and minor. A minor cannot make a contract with you about going on the trip so I think "legally" you would have to give her her money back. Personally I think she should eat the cost.

That's what I was thinking. I think, legally, it depends on who you entered into the agreement with - her or her mom. If you didn't discuss this with her mother, then, unfortunately, you owe her the money back. However, if the agreement was actually with the mother and not the daughter, the money is yours and she gets the tickets.

Sorry I don't agree with the last post. Anyone can purchase Disney Tickets if you have the money. Being a minor has nothing to do with it.

Actually, it does because a verbal contract was created when the OP agreed to take the girl's money in exchange for certain items.

Yes, I saw a case almost identical to this one on Judge Judy (or was it People's Court? Whatever - can you tell I watch too much TV? :happytv: ). The response: The tickets are non-refundable. You can still use them if you wish; that's not the defendant's problem. Defendant, give plaintiff the tickets and we're done.

But did it deal with minors? I saw a case, too, with a 17 year old who bought a car from someone and it was an "as is" sale. The kid got it home and found out it was a lemon. In court, the kid got every bit of his money back because Judge Judy said minor's can't enter into contracts. She said, if the kid would have been over 18, he wouldn't have gotten back a cent.

[suprgrlx]

But did it deal with minors? I saw a case, too, with a 17 year old who bought a car from someone and it was an "as is" sale. The kid got it home and found out it was a lemon. In court, the kid got every bit of his money back because Judge Judy said minor's can't enter into contracts. She said, if the kid would have been over 18, he wouldn't have gotten back a cent.

But, wouldn't that mean that anytime a 16 year old went to the mall and bought something, they could return it whenever they liked?

Also, from what it seems to me, the OP didn't sell the girl the ticket. The girl gave the OP the money to buy something on her behalf. I wouldn't think that was the same thing.

[HdnMickeyGrl]

Hmm, this would make a good bar question. The minority deficiency only comes into play in contracts. Not in general sales. So the purchase of a t-shirt in the mall would not be considered a contract. The sale of something that requires a signature on a contract would, like a house, car, boat, etc...

But the money was given to buy something on her behalf and not to sell something. But offering someone money to buy something on your behalf would likely be a contract. There's probably an undue hardship argumet in here somewhere. However, if the minor got the money from the parent and the parent sort of approved the transaction then it's likely you could get around the whole minor issue anyway.

In any case it's unlikely that they would bother with all of this or even be aware of it. I would just offer them the tickets, tell them they can't be refunded and that you suggest they try craigslist.

[rt2dz]

I would not allow the mother to insist on cash. She was not forced at gunpoint to give you the money. The GF and the mother made a choice. They are not out money; they are getting what they paid for. If they choose to try and sell them at their own risk (I don’t recommend it), then so be it. If the GF decides to keep them and use them at a later date, she will probably gain money down the line (ticket increases). The GF or mother could call Disney themselves and try to get a refund. Either way, it is the GF problem, not yours. I do not feel it is your son’s responsibility as long as she gets what she paid for. I’d send it to the GF registered mail (cover your bases from the mother) with a letter of explanation.

As far as the MNSSHP ticket, I’d be nice and if she couldn’t get a refund from Disney, I’d take it and see if you could sell it yourself (not for profit). If you can, then give her the money. If you can’t, tough lesson learned for her. It might be the first time in her life something like that happens, but it won’t be the last. At her age, it’s time to start taking the hits of an adult with the comfort of parents as a cushion. It’s helping to prepare her for real life.

I would NOT take the GF as a friend, but maybe your son would like to take another friend (of the male variety, just in case)? Then the new friend could buy the tickets off the GF.

[rie'smom]

nevermind.
OP, you have to decide what's right for you.

[teachingmyown]

I'm assuming you didn't purchase them from Undercover Tourist, right? Cause if you did and they haven't been opened, they will give a full refund. If by chance you did, then I'd call them asap.

Otherwise, give her the tickets and explain they were purchased in good faith, at her request and are non-refundable, and non-transferable. IF the mom decides to pursue it legally (which, imo, is a HUGE "IF") then you could offer to take them back and maybe even give her a bargain deal for them, if you are so inclined. ($800 for the lot or some such) You will surely have an opportunity in the future to use them yourself on another trip (I HOPE you're planning to return). If all else fails, go ahead and pay for them. It's not like you're "eating" the cost, because the tickets won't expire and since they were purchased before any upcoming price increase they could be considered a bargain anyway.

You have to decide what your priorities are. Is the relationship with the girl and her mom (maybe a life-long relationship--you never know with teens) more important than $1000? If so, remember that when you make your decision and be careful about burning bridges or creating hard feelings. If not, ... well, then, don't be a pushover about it.

[Mr. & Mrs. Smith]

As the PP suggested, would you have a use for the tickets in the future? It's not like you'd be out anything if you kept them and used them later.

[BroganMc]

You have to decide what your priorities are. Is the relationship with the girl and her mom (maybe a life-long relationship--you never know with teens) more important than $1000? If so, remember that when you make your decision and be careful about burning bridges or creating hard feelings. If not, ... well, then, don't be a pushover about it.

What difference does it make how long term the relationship is? Money matters are never handled well when you allow emotions to dictate the rules.

This seems to be a clear case of loan vs. gift. The girl produced the money to pay her way for a trip. She should get what she paid for (i.e. tickets and airline credit). She can decide what to do with it.

Now if her mother lent her the money and doesn't know enough to understand refund policies, then maybe she needs a real life lesson too.

As for the son's choosing of girlfriends (or ex-girlfriends), unfortunately that is the bane of every family's existence. You can not chose who someone loves. Believe me, my brothers brought home a bunch of winners. Even the ones they chose to build lives with often leave me annoyed and frustrated at times. But all you can do is listen, maybe offer a word of wisdom here and there, and mostly pray they find someone who'll treat them and you right. Or else disown them once they turn 18 and wash your hands of it all.

[Mr. & Mrs. Smith]

This seems to be a clear case of loan vs. gift. The girl produced the money to pay her way for a trip. She should get what she paid for (i.e. tickets and airline credit). She can decide what to do with it.

I'm not understanding how a gift enters into this? :confused3 Nobody's saying that anyone gave or received a gift.

[PaDisney02]

I think she should still go. Ask her if she wants to come just as a family friend like the previous posts have said. If she declines then just give her the ticket and its her problem. Good Luck

[VeroBeachGirl]

If the ex-gf has tickets and a room of her own, maybe you can suggest she invite another friend and just vacation independently of you and your family?

[TinkRBel_In_Training]

It sounds like its the girl's mom who has the problem here and demanding a cash refund. But honestly, that is not your responsibility to take on. If I were you, I would give the girl her tickets and she can decide what to do with them. If the mom gives you any more grief over not getting the cash back, then kindly explain to her that Disney does not give refunds on tickets paid for, and the airline will only give credit back. Regardless of who paid for the tickets, the mother knew (or should have known) the risk she or her daughter were taking in forking over $1000 6+ months in advance for her daughter to take a trip with her boyfriend. They are not married, and therefore the chances of the relationship ending before the trip are significantly higher. The bottom line is, her mother needs to realize that the tickets are non-refundable and you're very sorry but thats just how it works. Do not let her force you into giving her $1000 in cash, there is no reason for you to have to pay for a risk that she and her daughter took in spending that much money that far in advance and then whoops, it didn't work out.

As for her getting all of her money back, that is a nice thought but I don't think that is possible unless she takes a trip all on her own at the same time as your family is going. She will be out the money of the special party tickets (unless she can convince them to give her a refund) because those are for a specific day, along with any other specific-day tickets you may have purchased. It really is an unfortunate situation, but their relationship did not work out and that is not your fault.

[suprgrlx]

But the money was given to buy something on her behalf and not to sell something. But offering someone money to buy something on your behalf would likely be a contract. There's probably an undue hardship argumet in here somewhere.

Please everyone else feel free to ignore me here, I just have a purely academic interest in this.

You say above "offer" someone money. I would think this would have to mean that the OP made money on the transaction (like a commission, or like UT presumably does). For example, if I told person A "I'll give you $5 to procure me a soda", I would see how you could call that a contract. However, if I said to person B "Here's $5, could you pick me up a soda when you go to the store" I wouldn't think that was.

Also, I looked on Wiki (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Capacity_(law)) and found this:

Also, barter transactions such as purchasing a retail item in exchange for a cash payment is generally recognized through a legal fiction to not be a contract due to the absence of promises of future action. A minor may not disavow such a trade.

So wouldn't that be a similar situation here? She gave the OP money in exchange for a ticket?

[BostonRob]

Also, I looked on Wiki (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Capacity_(law)) and found this:

Also, barter transactions such as purchasing a retail item in exchange for a cash payment is generally recognized through a legal fiction to not be a contract due to the absence of promises of future action. A minor may not disavow such a trade.

So wouldn't that be a similar situation here? She gave the OP money in exchange for a ticket?

Don't believe wiki. They're wrong. A retail purchase is most certainly a contract.
Because the girl is a minor, she can (in theory) demand her money back from the mother. So then the mother is stuck with the non-refundable tickets. The ironic thing is that if the girl bought the tickets from Disney herself, she (being a minor) wouldn't be bound by the terms of the deal (nonrefundable) and could get her money back and nobody would be stuck with anything.

[suprgrlx]

Don't believe wiki. They're wrong. A retail purchase is most certainly a contract.
Because the girl is a minor, she can (in theory) demand her money back from the mother. So then the mother is stuck with the non-refundable tickets. The ironic thing is that if the girl bought the tickets from Disney herself, she (being a minor) wouldn't be bound by the terms of the deal (nonrefundable) and could get her money back and nobody would be stuck with anything.

So does that mean that a minor could buy a 5-day ticket, use four days and then demand their money back? If not, what makes this different?

[rie'smom]

The law is different in different states. We don't know where the OP lives.
The girl's mom won't file unless she's an idiot. Lawyers and court fees will end up costing more than the tickets.
OP have there been any updates?

[Dopey's twin Dippy]

i personally feel that the girl paid for plane and disney tickets then its her problem if she doesnt want to go. i also, would not still invite her. i dont think it would be a very happy trip...........she will have a credit for plane tickets and the disney ticket is still good for whenever...if i were that mother iwould just give the ex girlfriend her tickets and let her do whatever she must do. and i def. would not even have anything to do with the other mother. she does not have to.

[CanadianGuy]

While interesting to read.. there's not a lot of planning or themepark info in this thread.. moving it over to the ThemePark Community Board.

Thanks,

Knox

[Mr. & Mrs. Smith]

The law is different in different states. We don't know where the OP lives.
The girl's mom won't file unless she's an idiot. Lawyers and court fees will end up costing more than the tickets.
OP have there been any updates?

Most people don't hire a lawyer to go to small claims court. The court fees are actually pretty small and, depending where you are, you can ask to be awarded those fees in your claim. If you do ever happen to catch one of those daytime court shows, you'll see that people go to court for far less than $1000. I wouldn't rule it out.

[disneyin2008]

So are ya'll saying that the $1,000 was handed to OP in CASH? If not, how was it paid to OP....by a check written by mom? If so, then all this discussion about whether or not it's a contract with the minor is rather moot, because if the mom wrote the check, then any contract would have been with the mom, not the daughter.

And, please, don't judge the legal system on those hokey courtroom drama shows. They do way too much editing of the law for "good television". Ever notice at the credits it either says, or an announcer says, that these people had a real case filed in small claims but agreed to dismiss their case and have it settled here in People's Court (or whatever the show is?). That's because the cases are found for their television value.....the more TV value the better chance of being picked. And they have to agree to dismiss their case with prejudice (meaning they can't file it again if they don't like the TV verdict) because many, if not most, of the legal decisions are based on good TV not good law. Ask any lawyer how much reality in legal basis goes into those verdicts. Kinda like believing that every medical show you watch is true to symptoms and treatments and cures. Entertaintain yes, reality no.


OP doesn't owe cash back to this family...she owes them the tickets they asked her to purchase for them, and that's all.

[disneyin2008]

Most people don't hire a lawyer to go to small claims court.

Actually lawyers aren't allowed in Small Claims cases. You can certainly consult with a lawyer before you appear, but they can't appear with (or for) you.

[Mr. & Mrs. Smith]

So are ya'll saying that the $1,000 was handed to OP in CASH? If not, how was it paid to OP....by a check written by mom? If so, then all this discussion about whether or not it's a contract with the minor is rather moot, because if the mom wrote the check, then any contract would have been with the mom, not the daughter.

You're right. But we don't know. I think that's why some of us are asking the question. Maybe the OP could clarify.

And, please, don't judge the legal system on those hokey courtroom drama shows. They do way too much editing of the law for "good television".

I'm not sure if you have actually spent any time in "real" small claims courtrooms but you would be surprised at how similar the two really are. Sure, they pick certain cases based on how interesting they would be to watch but they are still real cases that would have come before a judge whether the cameras were there or not. Believe it or not, some people are really just that dramatic and petty.

[snykymom]

A retail purchase is most certainly a contract.
Because the girl is a minor, she can (in theory) demand her money back from the mother.
No, she can't. Minority will not be permitted to void the "contract" (if a traditional one is even found) in this case. One thing that will keep a minor bound by a contract that has been fully performed is that of reliance on the other person's part. The mother in this case relied on the statements of the girl, and acted on them to her detriment if the contract is broken. Therefore, the girl is bound by the contract (and of course gets the goods she paid for).

In any event, though, the OP in this case merely acted as a conduit for the girl. The contract, if any, was between the girl and Disney, not between the girl and the OP. If the girl can void the contract because she's a minor, she needs to take that up with Disney.
If the girl had bought the tickets directly from Disney, she would be equally bound by the "no refunds" policy.

So does that mean that a minor could buy a 5-day ticket, use four days and then demand their money back?

No, because the minor would be "unjustly enriched" by the transaction; the minor would have gotten something for free. The minor would not be able to give the full thing purchased back to the seller. So a minor can't go into a restaurant, order a meal and then refuse to pay for it by saying, "But I'm a minor."

Actually lawyers aren't allowed in Small Claims cases. You can certainly consult with a lawyer before you appear, but they can't appear with (or for) you.
Depends on the state. In some states, lawyers are allowed, but not required.

[disneyin2008]

Believe it or not, some people are really just that dramatic and petty.

Oh yes, that part is definitely true and their arguments are just as unsound, but what I was referring to was the verdict brought down by the "Judge" on those tv shows is not based in law in many many instances. And the behavior of a few of those "Judges" on the shows would have them disbarred in real life.

[pepperw23]

I would tell the mother that according to Disney, tickets are non-transferable and non-refundable. I would give her the tickets and phone numbers and tell her that if she wants to invest her own time into trying to get her money back, to be your guest, but you are not going to spend hours of your time doing it.

That is exactly what I would do. This girl was invited out of the goodness of your heart. If she decided not to go, although I am sure you sympathize, it is really not your problem. Give her the tickets and let her decide what to do with them.

[VAN]

Another thought .. does your son have another friend (not necessarily girlfriend) who might like to go and would be willing to buy the tickets for face value?

[disneyandme]

Any news, OP?

[Goldilocks07]

I totally disagree. Why should she have the expectation that all of this is totally refundable? She provided the funds for the purchase of particular tickets, and they've been purchased. If she chooses not to go now, then she has to figure out what to do with what she purchased - just like anyone else would who was in that situation. Sure, if I was her mom, I'd want the money back, too - but I'd also be advising my child that if she forked over that kind of cash, she should have known the terms and conditions of what it was she was buying (and I should know that as her mom, too - since she's 17 and a minor.) YOU were not selling her the tickets, such that her mom can demand the cash back. Disney sold them - and they come with strings.

I'm sorry you're dealing with this. I'd hand over the tickets, along with receipts to show how much they cost, and wish them well in selling them somehow.

I completely and 100% agree with this. It's not your fault, and you are not her mother. She wanted to go on the Disney trip-begging to go- and now she can't go. She can still use the tickets at some point, and her and HER mother can take the tickets and deal with it as they see fit.

I'm sorry you won't have another girl to hang out with--- my hubby and I and my sister and a friend will be at Disney the week before Thanksgiving, you can hang with us! :hug:

[Goldilocks07]

Another thought .. does your son have another friend (not necessarily girlfriend) who might like to go and would be willing to buy the tickets for face value?

Ooohhh....this is a REALLY good idea!

[arielchickenofthesea]

We need an update from Danilynn19. We are all wondering what happened.

ariel

[aribelle]

Depends on the state. In some states, lawyers are allowed, but not required.


What state(s) would that be?

[snykymom]

Massachusetts, for one. I appeared for a number of clients in small claims court.

[danilynn19]

Any news, OP?

Sorry, been away for a bit.

OK many good questions....wow didn't think this would cause such a debate.

1. The tickets were paid for by a check from the GRANDFATHER, which does bug me that the mother wants the money since it was never hers in the first place.

2. My son said he would feel to "weird" if she came and he would not have a good time so that would not be an option. I adore her, but he's still my son

3. Mangaed to sell sea world and the pirate dinner tickets for the exact price we paid and the airline just gave me a credit minus $90

4. We tried LOTS of other friends, but let's face it in this economy not many people have money to send their kids on a vacation (or they're just jealous they can't go :rotfl: )

5. I have decided though many of you are right this is so NOT my problem. I am doing everything I can in good faith to sell these tickets. So if they other Disney, Disney Quest, Universal and MVMCP tickets do not sell then I will just hand them over and be done with it. I think the sooner the better, since it's been a month now since they broke up and my son says he shows no intrest in getting back with her. Shoot I even bought her a lanyard and some pins to give to her for pin trading for her birthday, which I am now stuck with. :rotfl2: I know not as much money huh? :laughing:

Thanks everyone though for the great advice.:thumbsup2 You guys are the best. I'll let you know the final outcome.

PS I like the pirate too pirate: he's :cool2: :cool1: (cool)

[aribelle]

1. The tickets were paid for by a check from the GRANDFATHER, which does bug me that the mother wants the money since it was never hers in the first place.

3. Mangaed to sell sea world and the pirate dinner tickets for the exact price we paid and the airline just gave me a credit minus $90

5. I have decided though many of you are right this is so NOT my problem. I am doing everything I can in good faith to sell these tickets. So if they other Disney, Disney Quest, Universal and MVMCP tickets do not sell then I will just hand them over and be done with it. I think the sooner the better, since it's been a month now since they broke up and my son says he shows no intrest in getting back with her. Shoot I even bought her a lanyard and some pins to give to her for pin trading for her birthday, which I am now stuck with. :rotfl2: I know not as much money huh? :laughing:

(cool)

Ok...#1 negates everyone's arguments about her being a minor....your "contract" if there was one would be with the Grandfather....he's the one that paid you, he's really the only one that could make any legal argument for reimbursement. Has he said anything to you? I certainly wouldn't open a can of worms by contacting him first....BUT...if there is any money to be refunded because of the things you've been able to sell for them, it should go to HIM not to mom. And I'd do it in the form of a check with the note section showing exactly what it's for "sale proceeds from Disney admission tickets" or whatever.

Also, a word of caution.....I have a dear friend with a FIL who is quite wealthy.....FIL pays for many things, vacations, school clothes, extracurricular school stuff, etc. Love my friend dearly, but it disgusts me when she will do things to get cash from him.....like have him buy the kids the most expensive clothes at fancy boutiques/stores......and then return them and take the cash to Walmart or Mervyns, pocketing the rest. Sounds to me like Mom might be a bit like my friend....hoping to get some cash out of this cancelled vacation. Everything else about my friend is wonderful, but her love of "free cash" as she calls it is stomach turning.


#3.....you aren't planning on taking the $90 loss right? Not sure what airline it was booked on, but most of them have a cancellation/change fee, and I've seen as high as $150 per ticket, so that loss is pretty much on par I'd say. If they give you any flack, be sure to point out the written policy that most of the airlines have on line.....and I'd throw in a jab at the fact that YOU are doing all the leg work for this so if they thought they could negotiate better perhaps they should have stepped up.

#5....if it's been a month then yeah, I'd stop the extra work. I'd give the tickets back to Grandfather......because again HE is the one you "contracted" with. If Mom balks, I'd flat out tell her that you're very disappointed in how this has been handled by her, and you're doing this to protect your family because of the threats she'd made. Grandfather paid you, you're returning HIS money to him. I'd also make a copy of the tickets that you are returning and ask him to sign for them. If he's a reasonable man he'll understand your trying to protect yourself....if he's not, then all the more reason to insist it be signed for. Not sure if these tickets have identifying numbers on them, but that's what I'd be aiming at copying. Sad to have to go to such lengths to protect yourself, but you'll be glad you did if Mom decides to try to pursue it legally. Of course, if Mom filed suit first thing to do is request a dismissal since Mom wasn't a party to the original transaction, Grandfather was. LOL...that'll piss her off though.

As for the lanyard and pins.....you can certainly use the pins for your family to get a few that they'd enjoy. If your family isn't into pins, then maybe consider donating the set to Give the Kids The World. It's not that huge of a financial loss for you, all things considered, but it could make some kids' trip extra special.....and that can only make you feel better about this whole thing.

I hope that things settle down and you and the girl are able to continue a friendship.....probably not for a while, but I wouldn't write her off completely. Maybe send her a birthday card anyway (non-Disney though, lol)....and keep in touch if only by Hallmark card moments for a while. Sounds like she's set to graduate next year or the year after so once she's out from under Mom she may be grateful for someone like you in her life.

Go forth knowing that you went above and beyond.

[Mr. & Mrs. Smith]

I'd give the tickets back to Grandfather......because again HE is the one you "contracted" with. If Mom balks, I'd flat out tell her that you're very disappointed in how this has been handled by her, and you're doing this to protect your family because of the threats she'd made.

:confused3 Maybe I missed something but what threats are you referring to? I think you may be giving this mother a worse reputation than she deserves. I agree that the money/tickets go back to the grandfather but we haven't heard from the OP that the mother would be upset by this.

[aribelle]

:confused3 Maybe I missed something but what threats are you referring to? I think you may be giving this mother a worse reputation than she deserves. I agree that the money/tickets go back to the grandfather but we haven't heard from the OP that the mother would be upset by this.

I would consider a lawsuit to be a threat. In fact because of THAT particular kind of threat, I'd want to be sure that I crossed all the Ts and dotted all the i's in cancelling out this transaction. And that includes giving any money or things purchased with that money back to the exact person from whom the money came. If Grandfather wants Mom or grandchild to have the money, he can give it to them himself.

I'm not looking to give anyone a reputation, but when a person starts demanding and theatening lawsuits, I also won't give in to their tactics, in fact at that point I'd tend to look towards protecting myself rather than trying to make it right. I think OP has gone way way way above and beyond if she's taken it upon herself to spend hours trying to cancel and resell things. I do totally understand her reasons for doing so, and have done things similiar myself....but once someone starts demanding of my genorosity, I start drawing the line. Perhaps that is just me, but I don't mind giving of myself, but I do mind when it's demanded or expected and I tend to bristle at someone else's nerve in doing so.

Of course, I'm not nearly kind enough to have agreed to take the girlfriend in the first place....I cherish my time with my own children and am reluctant to bring someone else into the equation in such a big event. One day excursions I do all the time, even an occasional weekend....but a whole week or more on something as big as WDW....I'm just not that nice. ;)

[Karlzmom]

Seriously they are 17 and 18. If they are broken up and have been fighting for 4 months then my guess is that they need to stay broken up.

I would have never agreed to take the girl in the first place but you did and now you're stuck. Give the kid back her tickets and be done with it. Too bad the Mommy wants cash...she'll get over it.


....and just be grateful that this all happened at 17 & 18, and it only involves a disney trip! This is a great lesson for DS on how breakups can be a painfully, sticky mess & how very important it is to choose very wisely in picking his life partner! Can you imagine dealing with her mom if this was a year down the road and it was a divorce? :scared1:

[Mr. & Mrs. Smith]

I would consider a lawsuit to be a threat. In fact because of THAT particular kind of threat, I'd want to be sure that I crossed all the Ts and dotted all the i's in cancelling out this transaction. And that includes giving any money or things purchased with that money back to the exact person from whom the money came. If Grandfather wants Mom or grandchild to have the money, he can give it to them himself.

I'm not looking to give anyone a reputation, but when a person starts demanding and theatening lawsuits, I also won't give in to their tactics,

I think you are confused or I'm reading and re-reading the OP incorrectly. Nowhere did the OP say that the mother is threatening a law suit. It just says that she expressed that she would like the money back rather than the tickets.

[Tink_Or_Belle]

I may be alone in this but if you told her she can no longer come with then I think you owe her a refund.

Midwest airlines said NO REFUNDS but when it was THEIR decision to stop flying from Milwaukee when my flight was scheduled they gave me a full refund.

If you had said I know you broke up and it may be weird but you paid your money you can come with if you want... and she said I don't want to then it would be her problem... if she would still go as a friend and your son said it would be weird so she can no longer come then she deserves her money back one way is her backing out on the trip the other is getting the trip taken away.

[Tink030]

I wouldn't do anything at this point. I know teenagers:lovestruc , and they maybe back together in a few weeks or days. I would just wait a little while longer before you do anything and see if they work things out:hug:

[Mr. & Mrs. Smith]

I may be alone in this but if you told her she can no longer come with then I think you owe her a refund.

Midwest airlines said NO REFUNDS but when it was THEIR decision to stop flying from Milwaukee when my flight was scheduled they gave me a full refund.

If you had said I know you broke up and it may be weird but you paid your money you can come with if you want... and she said I don't want to then it would be her problem... if she would still go as a friend and your son said it would be weird so she can no longer come then she deserves her money back one way is her backing out on the trip the other is getting the trip taken away.

You know, this is a good way to look at it actually. It's not really the ex-GF's fault that she can't come along. So, you probably have to give her the option. There's a good chance she'll say no.

[MAF]

I don't see how the mother is being a witch by wanting her money back...:confused3

[arielchickenofthesea]

I would make sure the grandfather gets any refund money that you get from selling any of the tickets and the airlines ticket as well. If it is the grandfather that paid for it, it is his money and must go back to him. The mom does not even have on word to say in this matter.

Getting the money was between the girl and her grandfather and when she gave you the money to get the tickets, you did. Now that she won't be going, all the money goes back to where it came from, that is all the money that CAN be refunded and any tickets that cannot be refunded and/or sold should go back to the grandfather as well.

The girls mom has no business or right to ask you for the moiney back, it is not even her money that was spent on the tickets. Sounds like she thinks she can get a little extra cash here by asking for the money. I would not even have any dealings with her. I would deal only with the girl and her grandfather.

Get his number from the girl if you don't already have it and explain to him what happens when trips to Disney/Universal/ some of the special events are cancelled because now someone cannot go. If the tickets cannot be refunded, some can be used again (the ones with no expiration date) and again it is a lesson learned. You have no obligation to refund any money unless you get a refund for the tickets. Then the money goes back and any unused tickets that cannot be sold go to them as well.

I don't see ANY reason for the belief that the mother should be given a refund by you personally.:confused: That is outrageous and should not be a consideration at all, EVER in this situation!

ariel

[zdesiree]

About the MVMCP ticket, you should try calling Disney and explain to them the situation. They will look at your order history and they will see that you are only returning 1 ticket, not the whole order, and then maybe they can offer you to return the ticket by mail and do a reimbursement to your credit card.

I'm giving you this advice because last year our original date to WDW was December and I had the MVMCP tickets already, but then in November we had to change the dates to January 2008. I thought that we lost the money of the MVMCP since we were not going, but then someone here on the DisBoards told me to try with Disney just in case, and I did. They offered me to change the tickets for the PPP and since those tickets are cheaper than MVMCP they reimbursed the difference to my credit card.

The worst they can say is no, so try it anyway.:thumbsup2

[Mr. & Mrs. Smith]

I don't see ANY reason for the belief that the mother should be given a refund by you personally.:confused: That is outrageous and should not be a consideration at all, EVER in this situation!


I think what some people are saying is that it is the OP who has made the decision that the ex-GF cannot go with them on the trip. If the lady said she didn't want to go any more, than that's one thing but the OP is telling her she is uninvited. I think that does make a difference.

[maj42169]

After reading the rest of this entire post I deleted my comments............I am keeping my opinions to myself................sorry..........

[MAF]

The truth of the matter is that money is not yours, regardless of if the mother or grandfather paid for the tickets. Just give them their money back and all will be fine. There's no need to cause controversies that are unecessary.

[BostonRob]

The truth of the matter is that money is not yours, regardless of if the mother or grandfather paid for the tickets. Just give them their money back and all will be fine. There's no need to cause controversies that are unecessary.

The truth of the matter is that she doesn't have the money to give back. If she did, she'd happily give it back. She did what she was expected to do with the money - she bought non-refundable tickets. If only the solution were as simple as you suggest.

[MAF]

Actually it is quite simple. If the tickets are non-refundable then give them the tickets back and let them do w/ them as they please. Problem solved...

[crzy4mickey]

The breakup was mutual I thought? :confused3 GIve the tickets to the grandfather and be done with it. If you want to try to call Disney to see if they would give you back money for one ticket fine but the ticket doesn't expire until you use it so they can use it in the future. If in the future a friend was invited to come with us (BIG IF) then I would say to the parents are you sure. If you have me get the tickets and you back out then you have tickets, not a refund! Live and learn!

[eliza61]

My ds (18) wanted his gf of over 2 years to come to Disney with us. So I agreed (seperate rooms though). Well everything is going well and all of a sudden he tells me they broke up. :scared: I kept my fingers crossed that they would make up and she could still come with us...especially since she gave me $1000 for her tickets to Disney, Universal, Disney Queat, MVMCP, Sea World and the Pirate Dinner show. Including airfare etc. But no such luck, he says they've been arguing for about 4 months now and decided to break up before they hate each other. Which I respect, but now what? :confused3
Well, the airline tells me that I they can't refund they can only give her credit. She's ok with that. But now what the heck do I do with the tickets that are locked up in our safe. :sad2: I offered her the tickets and her mother being the witch that she is said no she wants the money. Does anyone have any ideas? I am NOT trying to make a profit I just want this girl to get her ticket price back. :idea: She is a sweetheart and I still love her to death..:love: ..wish son would realize that too, but I can't force it. Any suggestions?

Theme park ticket, concert tickets, airline tickets are generally nonrefundable. Give witchy mom, her daughters tickets and tell her to fight it out with Disney.
I think every one here has a story where they put out the dough for disney and got burned. I don't do it anymore.

[Mr. & Mrs. Smith]

The breakup was mutual I thought? :confused3 GIve the tickets to the grandfather and be done with it.

These are just my thoughts. I'm not a lawyer.

Legally, the break-up and the vacation have nothing to do with each other. The OP and the girl (or girl's grandfather or girl's mother) had an agreement (i.e. contract). The OP was given money and in exchange, she was supposed to provide a vacation to this girl. Since it is the OP who is breaking that contract by saying that the girl is no longer invited, I think she owes the money back.

I'm not sure if this is the way a judge would look at it but it is a possibility. It might be how the girl's mother is looking at it.

[crzy4mickey]

These are just my thoughts. I'm not a lawyer.

Legally, the break-up and the vacation have nothing to do with each other. The OP and the girl (or girl's grandfather or girl's mother) had an agreement (i.e. contract). The OP was given money and in exchange, she was supposed to provide a vacation to this girl. Since it is the OP who is breaking that contract by saying that the girl is no longer invited, I think she owes the money back.

I'm not sure if this is the way a judge would look at it but it is a possibility. It might be how the girl's mother is looking at it.

Did the OP say the girl isn't invited or did the girl and son decide this amongst themselves? I may have missed that. If the girl decided she wasn't going then she is breaking the contract. The mom was given money to obtain tickets which she did. The check was from the grandfather so I would give everything back to him.

[Mr. & Mrs. Smith]

Did the OP say the girl isn't invited or did the girl and son decide this amongst themselves? I may have missed that.

In the info that the OP gave, she didn't indicate that she gave the girl the option. Again, if she had, and the girl had decided not to go then it would have been the girl who broke the contract. However, the OP said that she decided not to let her come because her son mentioned that he would be uncomfortable. Since the son is a minor, it is the OP breaking the contract.

[PEANUT1]

you are a good person to do your best to help this girl. sorry this turned out. It is hard for the whole family when long term relationships end. I agree that bringing the girl would be a bad idea. Your son and his ex sound mature to end things this way. Good luck to you and have a magical time in disney.

[Jubilee]

Sorry you are going through this...you sound like a very caring person!

I would definitely just give her what is owed: the airline refund, the tickets you were ASKED to purchase...the end. The only other option is if your son were to pay her back. It is not your responsibility to do that, though. You did what was asked of you. Is she 18 (legal) as well?

I remember being 18 and living at home and I had more extra money than my parents because I was working rent free. :rolleyes1

[TIGGERmetoo]

We had the same situation last year. My DS & his GF along with other DS & his GF and DH and I had a trip planned for last September. We planned it the Feb. before. Both DS had been going w/their GF's for over 5 years each. A couple of months before our trip, DS told us they had broken up. We couldn't get refund or change the name on airfare so she had the credit (even though we paid for it). We were able to call Disney and explain the situation. We didn't get anything back for the room since we were staying at the 2 br BWV but they did credit us her tickets and meal plan.

Is there a reason they won't do that for you?

[Belle5]

I have not read through all the pages of posts so I am not sure if anyone suggested selling your ticket on EBAY. Unused tickets can be sold. Often, they sell for more than you paid (why I do not know...). I would think that would be an option for getting all the money back. Personally, I would hand the girl the ticket and mention that option to her. Also, I would not have communication with the girl's mother. I would only speak to the girl directly. You do sound like a very nice person.:)

[arielchickenofthesea]

You cannot by law sell your tickets. They are non-transferrable. They say that right on the ticket
Disney has a team of people removing ticket and fastpass auctions all the time. Many slip through. MOST of the tix from eBay are scams. They are generally used tix and the gate people will check the ticket against your fingerprint read out. You will be asked to turn over the tickets and not get anything in return. You will have to buy all new tickets.

This of course does not hold for an unused ticket that would not match a fingerprint, since there would no be one's fingerprints on record already BUT, it is illegal to sell tickets which say right on them "Non-transferrable" I would not buy a Disney ticket on eBay if it were the last place to buy one.

In this case it has not been used, but is still verboten to sell on eBay and since it never expires until it is used, the girl can save it for when she wants to go to Disney or call them and tell them the situation. Disney has been known to refund in some cases.

But do NOT sell Disney tickets on eBay, your auction could be tagged and removed and your seller name given the boot for illegal sales.

I always report Disney tickets auctions on eBay. I am avid eBayer and it just makes me so mad that some family may have their vacation ruined and have to spend hundreds of dollars more for tickets when Disney takes these used tix away from them.
I have heard horror stories about a family having to buy all new tix at WDW when the tix they bought on eBay were taken from them and Disney has no responsibility to replace them. The family bought them on eBay, they are responsible for getting legitimate tix.

And even if they are unused tix, Disney removes ANY and EVERY Disney passes from eBay (or tries to keep up with it). A second party is not supposed to benefit and make money from another person's or company's copyright, merch or services. It just is not worth it.

Perhaps they can be sold elsewhere, to a friend, or someone who may want to go sometime on the future and not have to worry about the ticket, they will have it on hand already, but Disney DOES remove ANY ticket auctions from eBay due to the many scams, people making more money off the tickets by selling them for more, (Disney REALLY frowns on this!) and the many other problems with tix they have had.

ariel

[BostonRob]

This of course does not hold for an unused ticket that would not match a fingerprint, since there would no be one's fingerprints on record already BUT, it is illegal to sell tickets which say right on them "Non-transferrable" I would not buy a Disney ticket on eBay if it were the last place to buy one.



I don't believe it is illegal to sell a ticket that says non-transferrable on the back. It may be against Disney's policy and it may be against ebay's policy, but as long as you don't misrepresent what you're selling, there shouldn't be any legal issues.

[arielchickenofthesea]

That is probably most correct, there is probably no legal bearing, but eBay will remove those auctions and Disney's team will be searching for those types of auctions and have them removed, since you are right, it is against policy. Most are scams and an honest ticket seller may be lost in the shuffle of the scammers. Thanks for clarifying....:)

ariel

[rie'smom]

List the tickets for sale in your local paper.

[mousetravel]

I would just deal with the girl, not the mom or grandfather. Give her any of refunded $$ you received and give her the tickets. Let her deal with it. I would not let this upset you anymore. You should be having a great time planning and looking forward to your trip, not worrying about this. You did what you were asked to do, purchase tickets. Let her put some time & effort into trying to get a refund.

[disneyin2008]

I'm cleaning out my subscriptions and found this one....and was curious, what ended up happening OP?? Inquiring minds want to know, lol.

[danilynn19]

I'm cleaning out my subscriptions and found this one....and was curious, what ended up happening OP?? Inquiring minds want to know, lol.

OK here's the skinny.
1. I could kill these kids....:crazy2:
2. They decided to be "friends" which means that she is coming with us again. Since I already cancelled her flight we had to rebook it which meant she had to pay double for it. I am excited that she's coming because like I said I do love this girl she's great! :cutie:
3. I told them if it didn't work this time too bad I was going to give her the tickets and a smile and she would do with them as she pleases. :)

They have been "friends" for about 2-3 months now and see each other ALL the time. WE just tell our son he's in denial, they're dating again. He said he's afraid to ask her out again because they are getting along so well. I asked him when was he gonna ask her out again when he gave her an engagement ring? :rotfl2:

[parmtoo]

OK here's the skinny.
1. I could kill these kids....:crazy2:
2. They decided to be "friends" which means that she is coming with us again. Since I already cancelled her flight we had to rebook it which meant she had to pay double for it. I am excited that she's coming because like I said I do love this girl she's great! :cutie:
3. I told them if it didn't work this time too bad I was going to give her the tickets and a smile and she would do with them as she pleases. :)

They have been "friends" for about 2-3 months now and see each other ALL the time. WE just tell our son he's in denial, they're dating again. He said he's afraid to ask her out again because they are getting along so well. I asked him when was he gonna ask her out again when he gave her an engagement ring? :rotfl2:

LOL, We a similar situation with our DD several years ago. She and "J" were on and off for years, claiming to be friends............well, they are joining us in Jan. for our trip to WDW. They are now married with a little boy. You never know!

[rie'smom]

Glad to see your situation has a happy ending! Y'all have a great trip!!!

[danilynn19]

[/B]

LOL, We a similar situation with our DD several years ago. She and "J" were on and off for years, claiming to be friends............well, they are joining us in Jan. for our trip to WDW. They are now married with a little boy. You never know!

From your mouth to God's ears! I love this girl
and they are such a good looking couple too. Both blonde hair stricking blue eyes. They are to cute together.

pixiedust: :mickeyjum :mickeyjum :mickeyjum :mickeyjum

[disneyin2008]

OK here's the skinny.
1. I could kill these kids....:crazy2:
2. They decided to be "friends" which means that she is coming with us again. Since I already cancelled her flight we had to rebook it which meant she had to pay double for it. I am excited that she's coming because like I said I do love this girl she's great! :cutie:
3. I told them if it didn't work this time too bad I was going to give her the tickets and a smile and she would do with them as she pleases. :)

They have been "friends" for about 2-3 months now and see each other ALL the time. WE just tell our son he's in denial, they're dating again. He said he's afraid to ask her out again because they are getting along so well. I asked him when was he gonna ask her out again when he gave her an engagement ring? :rotfl2:

Hey, thanks so much for the update! And I'll throw in my brother's experience.....dated from 7th to 10th grade (4 years), spent majority of Jr year "hating" each other, then decided to be friends for end of Jr and all of Sr year.....separated company for college but saw each other during holiday breaks.....married and had 1 child. I think it's been 17 or 18 years now and while their relationship isn't perfect, you can definitely see the love is still alive.

In my brother's case, it wasn't him that had the uncertainty....he knew she was "the one" despite all the problems....it was the young lady who seemed to have doubts and looking back with adult eyes, I know she was the one that purposely did things to hurt their relationship. The old pushing him away with one hand but holding onto his other hand. So, perhaps the same is true for your young lady, so your son is very wise to tread lightly. My brother often jokes that if he'd understood women "back then" he'd have picked her up caveman style and forced her to stop dating other guys and calling HIM the next day. I'm not sure that would have been wise, but I know where he's coming from with comments like that....so tell your son to bide his time....marriage among friends lasts longer anyway, so keep it friends until she's ready for the other again.

Have a great time in Disney! Would love to see another update after your trip. Nothing like two "friends" together all day every day for a week to pump it up!

[Marine Mom]

I think you should give her her tickets and let her decide what to do with them. She made a decision to go, it's her problem now. As sweet as she is, she has to learn personal responsiblilty. I think even Judge Judy would even agree with me.;)

Judge Judy would definitely agree with you. Since the tickets have been bought and there are no refunds, it is not your problem that she decided not to go.

[Maridw]

:lmao: I remember reading this when it was started, but didn't read all the posts at that time. Finally sat and read this through.

OK here's the skinny.
1. I could kill these kids....
2. They decided to be "friends" which means that she is coming with us again. Since I already cancelled her flight we had to rebook it which meant she had to pay double for it. I am excited that she's coming because like I said I do love this girl she's great!
3. I told them if it didn't work this time too bad I was going to give her the tickets and a smile and she would do with them as she pleases.

They have been "friends" for about 2-3 months now and see each other ALL the time. WE just tell our son he's in denial, they're dating again. He said he's afraid to ask her out again because they are getting along so well. I asked him when was he gonna ask her out again when he gave her an engagement ring?

When I first started reading I agreed with the majority of the posters that you should just give her the tickets and let them deal with it.

I am glad they are going together as "friends".

My best friend took the DD's BF with them twice. The first time was pretty good, but the second time it was my best friend, her daughter, the boyfriend, a friend of the boyfriend and another friend of the daughter's. The boyfriend's friend didn't want to do a whole lot. The boyfriend was obnoxious because he was around the friend. My best friend had a miserable time. Plus the boyfriend's friend was going to help with food for the boyfriend, and then didn't. They had agreed to this prior to the trip. My best friend didn't want to not feed the guy, so she paid for his meals. Thankfully her daughter broke up with the guy not long after that trip. They also found out that he was using steroids for the football team.

Hope you have a great trip!:flower3: We will be down that way Dec 28th to Jan 3rd.

[Mr. & Mrs. Smith]

I'm glad that it all seems to have worked out for you all.

[CarolA]

I don't believe it is illegal to sell a ticket that says non-transferrable on the back. It may be against Disney's policy and it may be against ebay's policy, but as long as you don't misrepresent what you're selling, there shouldn't be any legal issues.

Theme park tickets for Florida parks are goverened by Florida law. I am pretty sure that the FL legislature passed a law making the resale illegal.