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View Full Version : Toni and Heath DFTW Planning Journal **Sorting out the facts**


ToniDMB
07-29-2008, 04:45 PM
Hey fellow Disney Brides! I love the idea of having my very own journal and I did my introduction yesterday on the boards, so today I'm starting my journal.

Although we're not 100% positive that we will be having a DFTW at this point I'm moving forward with the gathering information process because in all honesty, the more I learn about Disney Weddings the more I think that it is perfect for what DF and I are dreaming of. Here's our story. DF and I became engaged on July 4th 2008 at the Magic Kingdom! He proposed at Cinderella's Wishing Well and of course I said yes! We waited until two weeks ago to tell his family because the week after we came home from Disney his sister was getting married in Pittsburgh. So, we tell his Mom and her first response is "where are you going?". She knew that DF had always dreamed of making his wedding as unique as possible and something that reflects his fun, big kid personality. She then stated that if we wanted a destination wedding she would pay for it (which would not be an issue for her, in the slightest). DF and Mom started talking about cruise ships and private islands for about two hours and finally noticed that I had absolutely zero enthusiasm about any of those ideas. Then, FMIL made one comment that made my eyes widen and heart skip....A Disney Wedding!!!! Now, his family are HUGE Disney people. They are members of the VC and visit DW at least twice a year, so i know it has always been a huge part in his life. Now I have only been there twice in my life, most recently for a week long vacation with my entire family when DF proposed.

We began looking into all the details just to scope it out. When we were looking through the wishes portion of the wish book and looked at the different locations for receptions, I saw something that literally made me burst into tears...A reception on the GREAT MOVIE RIDE in the LAND OF OZ!!! Where else could this happen on earth but at Disney!!!! I called last week to speak with Heidi (our planner) to learn more about this venue, and although a lot about it was discouraging (hidden extravagent fees, time, etc) my FMIL said that it would work and we should do it!!! So, now we're still in the gathering information mode, but secretly in my mind (and in DF) we are 99.99% positive that this is what we want. Here is the problem though...my mother and her side of the family (extended) are having a huge fit about it. My mom hasn't spoken to me in two weeks since we mentioned that we might have a destination wedding and when and if she does speak to me, it's to put me on a guilt trip. I'm feeling very depressed lately (even though today is my 28th birthday!) and at this point everything feels hopeless (Escape wedding instead maybe?!?). I have my first set of local reception site appointments starting this Thursday but I am lacking the excitement and interest in going to them and I feel like I'm going just to appease my mother but on the inside it's making me miserable! My Dad just wants me to be happy and will support whatever DF and I decide. He thinks my Mom will come around, and maybe she will. I just always pictured having more support and happiness surounding my engagement. Not this tension, arguing and name calling. It's breaking my heart.

Okay, back to planning!!!! So, Disney sent us our information packet and we're going to go through that and see what we like and don't like and talk more about it with FMIL. Last night I started my first DIY project!!! I'm not a crafty craftsman in the slightest, but I wanted to make my bridesmaid special Disney themed cards asking them to be in my bridal party. I have only finished three, but one of them is bugging me so I think I'll start that one over. I'll post pictures tomorrow (hopefully).

Basically, i took two pieces of cardstock. One black and one red. I bought onion paper (I dunno-my sister calls it that) and printed my text on that using Walt Disney font-very cute! I bought a Mickey Mouse Head paper puncher and used it to cut out a mickey head at the bottom of the card. At the top I attached the cards using red ribbon and made a bow. They really are cute! I wanted to find a Mickey Mouse Cookie to go with the card, but the local Cookies By Design quoted me at $9.25 a cookie so that idea got tossed. He said he can do something with the names of my attendants so I am going to speak to him tomorrow to see what he can put together. Hopefully it will tie in well with the red/black theme of the cards (if not Disney).

I'll update soon with pictures!!!

Pinkerbell1983
07-29-2008, 05:09 PM
Hi and Happy Birthday!!!! :cake:

Congratulations on being engaged!!! :lovestruc

I was sort of going back and forth about doing a disney wedding, I thought about and at home wedding, escape wedding and a swan and dolphin wedding, all because I was worried about the 25 room nights. Now I'm having a DFTW and I'm SOOOO excited, everything I do or read about it makes me more excited!!!

So when are you planning on having your wedding?

Sorry to hear about your mum, I'm sure she'll come round, maybe it was just a shock?

Good luck with planning!!!!

kayleighnik
07-29-2008, 05:17 PM
Hi!

Happy birthday! :wizard:

My DF and I were wondering whether to have a DFTW or not, but we'd only be having a home wedding to suit other people. It's your big day - don't let anyone else dictate to you how it should be :goodvibes

Can't wait to see your handywork! :yay:

Kayleigh

Alec'sPrincess
07-29-2008, 06:08 PM
Your idea sounds so great!

A lot of my extended family were disappointed about us having a small Escape wedding (only 11 people invited), but my mother is the one that has told us that it is our wedding day and this is the one day that you are allowed to do whatever you want. You seem like your heart is set on a Disney wedding so you should go for it!!! :goodvibes

Good luck with planning!!!!!

kingLouiethe1
07-29-2008, 06:10 PM
As someone who could write the book on making choices that make your mother unhappy can I just offer the advice that in this wedding and in life you need to make the choices that are going to make you happy.

At some point you will probably have to have a conversation with your mother and let her know that if she wants to be a part of this wedding and your life, she's just going to have to deal. Maybe you can be less confrontational about it, but I think if your mom realizes this wedding will go ahead with or without her then she will jump onboard with you. However there is a chance that your mother might be a very proud person and not be part of it, and you would have to come to grips with that yourself.

DisneyBrideToni
07-29-2008, 10:22 PM
Welcome and Happy Birthday! :bday:

I think you will find that most of the people on here have had a problem with their family when they told them they were going to have a Disney wedding. Although it may be hard you have to remember that this is you and your df's day and all that matters is what you two want and what makes you happy. This is a once in a lifetime day and you can't settle. All of the ladies and gentlemen here are wonderful and will help you throughout the planning process and will listen when you want to vent. :)

december14disney
07-30-2008, 07:40 AM
Welcome welcome welcome welcome!:cool1:
I too had a couple people in the family give the "omg Disney how silly" face. I am also a bride that is having an AHR to solve too much problems. Although I must say both DF and mine immediate family think its SO neat. =) cant wait to hear your ideas!!

ToniDMB
07-30-2008, 10:34 PM
Here is a look at my "will you be" Disney cards for my bridal party! I am not a crafty person by ANY means, so nothing is exactly the same (in fact, none of them look like the other), but each of them were done by me, so I think my girls will appreciate that. I went to cookies by design to have star "wand" cookies made with each of the girls names on them. They will get the magic star "wand" treat with their card. I'm picking them up next Wednesday, I'll add pictures of them later!
http://good-times.webshots.com/photo/2869049200079269556qrbYde?vhost=good-times

http://good-times.webshots.com/photo/2279602600079269556uslodX?vhost=good-times

http://good-times.webshots.com/photo/2530333890079269556yXuEkE?vhost=good-times
(Three of my girls will also be getting these pictures with the frames)

http://good-times.webshots.com/photo/2049403950079269556XjJPBl?vhost=good-times

http://good-times.webshots.com/photo/2408526500079269556kcCegV?vhost=good-times

IndyBride
07-31-2008, 02:00 AM
Your cards are great!! And like the other girls said. A lot of people find that their families have trouble in the begining. Most of the time they get on board before the wedding or at the wedding. Good luck with all your planning!!

auntpunkin
07-31-2008, 05:50 AM
Congratulations on your engagement! I hope all works out with your Mom. At this point everyone BUT my mother knows...I'm afraid! :scared1: I think once people realize that a Disney wedding is a class act, not some ice cream party with balloons and cartoons, they come around. I hope to read all about your DFTW plans in the future! :yay:

ToniDMB
07-31-2008, 09:39 AM
Thank you girls for the encouragement! Tonight we are going to our first local reception site to gather information. I'm hoping that this meeting isn't giving my mother false hopes. I'm really not excited about going because I think that both DF and I have our hearts set on Disney, but I guess it couldn't hurt to gather information, right? I'm tired of hearing my mom say to me all the time about how disappointed everyone is. You would think by the way that everyone is acting that I've eloped! It's ridiculous!

A question for DisBrides...I have emailed some questions to my planner, Heidi and haven't heard anything back from her yet. The answers to the questions that I've asked her are really important and I was hoping to have had a response by now. Is this normal? Would you call her or give her a few days to respond?

Pinkerbell1983
07-31-2008, 10:31 AM
Just remember its the only wedding day you'll ever have and you need to please yourselves more than anyone else. It would be nice if your mum was on board, and I'm sure she will, but right now try not to worry too much (easier siad than done, I know!)

As for your coordinator, sometimes mine takes a few days to get back to me, but he always does. Think sometimes they're just really busy.

ToniDMB
08-01-2008, 04:23 PM
I have some questions for all those disbrides of past and future who have had more than immediate family invited to your Disney wedding.
I think a lot of my mother's concerns is that I am not going to have anyone attend my event and asking people to travel that far (we are in Pennsylvania) for a wedding is quite inconsiderate and just plain rude. Did you have anyone in your family pressuring you with the same guilt? How did most of your guests respond to the news of a fairy tale wedding in Disney? Did you pay travel expenses and lodging for all of your guests? We don't know if we could afford the airfare for every guest, but we are thinking about providing two nights lodging and helping anyone who doesn't have the means to attend but really wants to-but is that considered going above and beyond or should that be our responsibility? I'm just hoping that I hurt people as little as possible. We are playing around with the option of having a small wishes wedding at Disney (with around 50 guests) and a larger reception after we return to accomodate those that wanted to be there but couldn't. What are your thoughts on that?

Any insight into this would be greatly apprecaited! DF and I are headed to Johnstown (where most of my extended family lives) this weekend for a family reunion and we will get a better gauge at how the family is reacting to the news of our pending nuptuials in Disney. Hopefully I won't come home in tears, but I'm nervous. This should be a time of celebration! Is that too much to ask?!?!?

:dumbo:

DisneyBrideToni
08-01-2008, 05:17 PM
I am from New Jersey. The idea of a Disney wedding was actually mine and my parents idea. My DF had no problem with it either. He didn't want a big wedding. We started off with only inviting 18 people and having an Escape wedding but when word got around about the wedding people started bugging me to go...lol. We are now up to 33 people and I am staying at that number. I am actually telling people they can't go. I am just having a reception for those that didn't go to Florida.

A lot of my family is treating this as a vacation/wedding. They are happy to be able to go to Disney at a discounted rate and its like a big family vacation. The only person that is giving us a problem is DF's dad but he is coming around slowly.

We are not paying for anything for our guests except the wedding..lol. They are paying for their rooms and tickets, etc.

ClemsonGirl
08-01-2008, 10:13 PM
Wow, you did a really great job on your bridesmaid cards! :thumbsup2 They are really classy with Disney touches. I love it! :)

pipermae
08-02-2008, 04:15 PM
Hi there! Your cards are adorable! As for your mother, hopefully she'll come around. :hug: It's your big day, the day you will always remember, to celebrate your happiness and love with your closest friends and family! Everything will work out for the best! And CONGRATS on your engagement! I think I'll be living vicariously through your planning for now. :)

ToniDMB
08-04-2008, 12:19 PM
Thanks Piper! I give the cards to three of my girls on Thursday night and I'm just SO excited! I can't wait to give it to them! I think they will be really excited and impressed that I tackled a DIY!

Fiance and I finally sat down and discussed the Disney possiblity in great length and detail with FMIL and pretty much came to the conclusion that a Disney Wedding will cost about the same as a wedding at home, so in that respect, I say we should go for it but of course I would say that, no huge surprise there!!! It does seem, however that the Great Movie Ride, although a fantastic and unique, one of a kind event is highly unlikely. I was sad at first, but after I thought about it rationally, it was easy to see how it would just be not practical. First of all, our reception couldn't start until 9:00 p.m. and thehe venue has a $3,000 site fee, a mandatory $8300 entertainment fee, plus if we would want a DJ there, it would cost an additional $7500. My FMIL suggested that we forgo the DJ since the reception on the GMR is the "entertainment" enough, but I could not imagine not having our first dance as husband and wife, and would never be able to get over not dancing with my father at my wedding, so right away I knew in my heart that the dreams I have of eating wedding cake in Oz are going to go right out the window. No big deal though, we can still have a great reception at a unique venue that is more suitable for our budget.

So, that brings me to our next selection for the reception...CHINA! My Fiance and I both really think this is a unique venue and it would go really well with our theme (Black, White and Red) and how easy would decorating be?!? You wouldn't need much in that location, but we could have fun with Chinese take out box favors filled with fortune cookies, decorative fans on the centerpieces, dragons, buddha placecard holders....wow, the list is endless and it would be unique and unlike anything we could have where we live (which is what we are going for!!!).

The only thing is we have envisioned only having 50 people attending this event, but we MUST meet the minimum of 75 in order to have it at this location! So this presents an entirely new dilemma, but I think we can figure this one out and having it at this location versus GMR (even with the addition of 25 people) would still be about $15,000 dollars cheaper.

Question for DISBrides who have used or will be using the Cinderella's Coach...I know this rransporation will not take the Bride and Groom to the reception, but how will we get to the reception after pictures and such? Will the chartered bus come back for us after they take the first round of guests? (if we have more than 47 people attending our wedding, will we have to charter two buses for eight hours or will the one bus we charter make more than one trip?). Should we rent a limo too? Wow, that could get expensive, but if I'm going to Disney for a wedding, i want Cinderella's Coach and a visit from Mickey and Minnie!!!!

Until next time-
Hearts~Toni:tinker:

padisneyfour
08-04-2008, 03:39 PM
Just checking out your plans- they sound great and your DIY BM and MOH cards were very nice.... best of luck with all your plans to another pa dis bride (mine will be a VR):goodvibes

MegKate
09-02-2008, 06:25 PM
:) Hey Toni - I love those cards - you are craftier than you give yourself credit for!

I'm Oct 12, 2009 and getting ahold of my wedding coordinator has been a challenge onto itself, so I know where you're coming from. :scared:

Ladysunflr
09-06-2008, 05:06 PM
toni - can't wait to hear more... I've been talking to my wedding coord... I'm actually heading down to disney in a few days to a) say bye to pleasure island.. and b) meet my wedding coord at francks and go to the attic at the boardwalk.. this is where we think we want our dinner at.. ( wedding at SBP and desert party in UK watching illuminations ) I'm excited because on the day we have an appointment to see the attic, there's a wedding that night so i'll be able to see it all jazzed up for a wedding reception!! YAAAA! I think it's great that we both intend to be married on 10/11/08. Can't wait to hear more!:cool1:

Princesskeyblade
10-15-2008, 03:11 PM
Another October 2009 Bride!! I am subbing!

I love your Bridesmaid cards!

figmentfan814
11-21-2008, 02:46 PM
After corresponding on your post with the programs I thought I would check out your PJ. I too wanted to do the Great Movie Ride, but it was out of our budget too (I'm an avid Wizard of Oz fan and collector!) We ended up at Epcot with a ceremony in AAR and a reception at Living Seas. It was amazing and I wouldn't change anything for the world.

For the transportation. We had a limo to transport us and the wedding party to the wedding and reception. I'm not sure about adding Cinderella's coach into the mix, but you won't have that in the beginning and will have to go a little early for pictures. We then used the bus to take us all back after the reception.

I hope things have worked out with your family. We had a lot of naysayers too, but in the end the people who wanted to be there made it. It sounds like a lot of your family is concentrated in the same area like ours were, so we had a party after our wedding to share our video and pictures with other family and friends who didn't come to the wedding :bride:

polynesianbride
11-27-2008, 04:28 PM
Hey Toni! I thought I'd check out your PJ after seeing you on the program thread! I also sent you a PM. Hope you're having a good Thanksgiving and that the fam is coming around to the Disney idea!