Would you go with an Alzheimer's parent?

[Bete]

I have an 87 year old mom who is in the middle stages of the disease. She has outbursts that can be embarrassing and she can get outright mean at times. She will cool down pretty quickly but there can be sparks for a few minutes. There is no real way of anticipating what will set her off. Normally, she is homebound. She has had some physical limitations, as well, as of late. I will need to do a wheelchair for her and I will be the pusher; I'm 56. Hubby who is 70 years old will be scootering himself. My mom never learned to drive and she would never do a scooter and I'm not sure she could anyway.

My mom has never been to Disney and I have longed for her to go there. I feel if I don't do it in the next year or so it will never happen. I've been to Disney too many times to mention and I wanted her to see what I have loved about it all these years. She has COPD but has not been hit by any biggies like cancer, stroke or heart attack. She does have a blood clot which is helped by a filter. She has mobility issues with arthritus. Her hearing and seeing are pretty good. There are a few other issues I will not mention, here.

I would probably eat at food courts or counter service most of the time; so, we could go with the flow of her moods. We would take it slow and easy. I would probably be well satisfied with 4 to 6 hours at the parks each day. If we had to skip a day, we would do so.

I plan on doing some activities to get ready for the Disney trip like going to the zoo locally, etc. This way I could determine her mood swings and see how I like pushing a wheelchair, etc. I'm planning on some weekend trips to nearby states this year and next year to visit family and friends with her. We go out to eat with her occasionally and she's pretty good at restaurants, but I have had a few choice moments in the process even doing that outing. I feel a little uncomformatable for those nearby like I'm intruding on their good time. Should I feel uneasy? Should I put my mom through this at this stage? I want to lift her mental attitude and mine for that matter; so, I thought this might be worth a try.

I wanted to get some opinions, here. Am I expecting too much from my mom with taking an ambitious vacation?

[LindaDVC]

I say go and enjoy the time
Don't worry about what any one thinks -- enjoy making memories which is what disney is all about!

You sound like you have appropriate expectations.
You plan to go with the flow, be flexible and shorten the days as need be!

You can talor the trip the way you all feel -- if over stimulated you can find quieter things to do like enjoy the gardens and countries of Epcot, animals at AK, ........... etc!

Linda

[toocherie]

I took my Mom and Alzheimer's Dad to the Olympics in Salt Lake City in 2002. It was a challenge but worth it. One thing I did do is that we hired a senior care assistant/sitter a couple of times to let my Mom and I go to events without him. You might check to see if there is such a service in Orlando--just for a break. That was my Dad's last trip and I'm glad we took it.

[PrincessSuzanne]

I'm sorry, I didn't read your whole post, but I just wanted to say take her and enjoy it. I now regret that my grandmother didn't get a chance to go. Mom said she could have afforded for us to go, but she was tight with money and thought it was too expensive. She has been gone 7 years now and I still think of her every time we go.

She had Alzheimers and hers developed and progressed quickly. You wouldn't believe (you probably would) some of the things she would say about me to her friends that would come visit. I was her caretaker for about 5-6 months and that was a tough time. After just a couple of months, she wasn't able to get up and move around and that was a blessing, because I believe she would have wandered away, like you hear about some Alzheimer's people do. We couldn't have taken her to WDW in that condition.

I certainly hope she is looking down when we go and having a great time with me. Go ahead and take her, you never know how long you will have with her.

Suzanne

[Ms_Butterfly]

As long as the outbursts aren't violent ones that threaten others, take her!!

My grandfather (95) just died on Sunday and I miss him terribly. Thankfully, I know he's in heaven and I also have lots of nice memories to look back on. (And, yes, he'd been to Disney World at least twice in his life [I have photos of us all there when I was little and I also remember my grandparents being with us there one time in the mid-90s. I don't know if they went at other times or not, but I was the one who made the photo montage video for the wake today and one of the photos I included was of us at Disney.)

So, while you can, make some memories. :) And give your mom a hug!

[ireland_nicole]

I empathize with your situation, I have been in a similar one as well. This long goodbye with your mom is a very painful and poignant process. I hope that you are able to go, but I would encourage you to ask yourself a couple of questions. Does your mom want to go? In her"good" moods, is she excited about the idea? Has she liked other "theme parks" in the past? I know WDW is "different", but if during the rest of her lifetime she hasn't enjoyed the activity and noise, etc. I don't think she'll enjoy it now. I understand that this is your dream, and I hope it comes true, but if it's not "her" dream, consider what her dream might be in the time she does have. Enjoy her good times. Remember them, every moment is precious, as I'm sure you know. :hug: You have my support.

[Mskanga]

My mother is in the last stages of alzheimers and usually alzheirmers patients have a difficult time adjusting to new places , things and routines. If you are taking your mother there so she can see what you have enjoyed all this time , you may be setting yourself up for a stressful disappointing vacation. I suggest you talk to her doctor and see what he /she advises.

[mickeyluvr004]

We are taking my grandmother whose 83 almost 84 in Sept. She has dementia (still unsure how that works) unsure if its early alzheimers or what? anyone know what the first symtoms are?? but we are taking her and can't wait as she has 2 great granddaughters that want to show her the ropes:) everyday they tell her we are going and she is like really when are we going? but anyway i see it as a memory making trip. lots of pictures with the characters and the girls, I say GO and make the best of it we are:)

[belle&beast]

My grandmother had Alzheimer's and we would never have tried to do anything out of the routine for her. Just short car trips to unfamiliar places caused so much anxiety that she could never relax and enjoy herself. Spending the night in a strange place can be very scary if she wakes and does not know where she is. Plus, if she experiences the sundowner affect, you may have very difficult evenings and nights.

Every person is different, so you have to judge what would work for your famiy, but in my personal and professional experience (I am a speech pathologist and my first job was in a long term care facility) people with dementia have a lot of difficulty adjusting to a new environment and WDW is extremely overwhelming.

[Bete]

I'm with my mom all the time; so, I've become her security blanket. Infact, for 15 years she lived with us in our apartment building in Chicago. She had her own flat but her shopping, meals, etc. were with us. She never learned to drive; so, we were her chauffer forever. The last 15 years have been in a home with us in the country in a smaller town in Indiana.

I feel as long as I'm right there she adjusts pretty good to new situations. We have ventured out for lunch when we go for doctor visits, as an example. My mom's mood swings happen whether she is in familiar territory or not. Some of her outbursts are swearing and screaming out for help even though there's no need for help; it's like a defense mechanism with her. She does this when she doesn't want to do something like bathing, etc. She lets you know real fast if she's not happy about anything this way.

Two years ago when my mom was not as bad (early stages) we took a two week trip away from home visiting two, neighboring states to visit family and friends. We did stay at a resort for 2 days along the way and she did ok with that experience, but it was with early stages of the disease. She had a few episodes at my MIL's house where we stayed the longest, but we survived. We were able to visit her older friend in a Chicago suburb and she was really happy about that experience. I plan on repeating that trip before we venture out further to Disney or anywhere else. I want to go to Dollywood and other places in Pigeon Forge for a shorter trip before we try Disney. I will be building up for the big event to Disney. If she doesn't take well to these other events there's no way I will go to Disney. I will take baby steps first and keep building to see if this will work or not over the next year or so. We will be trying daycare locally for her to give me a break and see how she can adjust to that situation. She's recovering from an ordeal right now; so, I haven't tried this yet.

One of the reasons for me trying all of this is I feel my mom is getting very depressed. Her family physician doesn't really believe she would be helped at this stage (her age is a factor, here) with any pychiatric help. I don't think changing doctors will change this, either and I think it would be very difficult for her to start over again with a new doctor. She's not even on a happy pill for being depressed. I'm not looking to reverse her conditions; I know that will not happen. But maybe, just maybe, to be able to accomplish some if not all of these trip plans may make her realize she can still venture out of the house and possibly even enjoy herself.

I don't like labels on any diseases and I think far too often we want to hide Alzheimer's from the world. I'm a baby boomer and I know my time will come facing all these issues. I think we need to strive towards new, better answers then what seems to be currently available for Alzheimer's. I won't do it if my mom gets too hyper and stressed out. She has avoided any of the big three--heart attack, stroke or cancer. I'm not about to cause problems over taking a trip. I think a big secret to all these trips is to make her feel like it's easy and not a strain on anyone doing them.

I'm somewhat determined to try outside avenues with her and this is not just for me. It might give my mom and I a good connection to each other if we go to Disney together. I know the place inside out; so, I feel this is a great place for us to try a farther away vacation. I think I may stay offsite; so, we could cancel and not pay for an entire resort stay if it doesn't work out for us. Also, I think using our car is a better idea everywhere; so, we can avoid crowded Disney transportation or make a quick exit if necessary during a mood swing, etc.

The debate to seclude and isolate Alzheimer's patients in my opinion has not worked out very well. I feel they drift further and further away from reality that way. Will all of my ideas work? Probably not, but it doesn't mean we shouldn't continue to try new ideas and venture out a little more.

If my mom's health gets worse there's no way I will venture out. It's the reason why I think this is the time for me to try some newer ideas.

[videogal1]

Just returned from a trip to celebrate Mom's 80th birthday. She's living in an assisted living center where she complains all the time about her fellow "inmates", the food, the staff, etc, etc...I took her a few blocks away to a nice inn, planning to spend a few quiet days lounging around, eating out, reading, and a surprise party.... The first night she announced in no uncertain terms that she wanted to go back to the center. My vacation was spent staying with her surrounded by gray-haired "crazy people"as she would put it. My advice is if you take her to be prepared for the sensory overload to make her want to run and hide. Remember, you're not taking her as she was...but as she is...I'm sure you know by now.

[leebee]

My great aunt had Alzheimer's. In the mid-stage, sometimes she'd wake up in the night and not know where she was. She'd go into the other room and wouldn't recognize where she was, or whose stuff whe was surrounded by. It was very, very frightening for her when this happened, and sometimes would precipitate serious outbursts. This was when she still recognized all of us. I would be very, very careful about taking a person with Alzheimer's away from home. I think it's a good idea to try several trial runs, and to think about whether it's really a good idea to plan such an ambitious trip. It sounds like you have a good grip on your mother's abilities and limitations. Unfortunately, Disney might not lift her spirits and make her excited about things- it might frighten, confuse, and frustrate her. Good luck with whatever you decide- it's not going to be easy.

[BroganMc]

The debate to seclude and isolate Alzheimer's patients in my opinion has not worked out very well. I feel they drift further and further away from reality that way. Will all of my ideas work? Probably not, but it doesn't mean we shouldn't continue to try new ideas and venture out a little more.

If my mom's health gets worse there's no way I will venture out. It's the reason why I think this is the time for me to try some newer ideas.

Wish I could answer the debate for you Bete. Truth is there's no easy answer to this. I looked after my grandmother and mother in the twilight of their years. Their issues were more physical than mental however (grandmother had severe arthritis and hearing loss, died at 87; mom had metastatic breast cancer, died at a too young 67). Now I've got my still active though widowered 76 dad to look after.

Depression goes hand-in-hand with chronic progressive disease and isolation. (Having JRA since age 2, I've battled my own despair demons.) I'm more a fan of "changing the scenery in the mind" than drug therapy.

It is possible to take someone with dimensia to Disney. An aunt of mine took her husband's elderly aunt wherever she went. Of course it meant pushing her in a wheelchair and putting various monitors on the door to keep her from wandering. She was not violent, but frequently didn't know where/when she was.

Anyway, I just wanted to say how nice it is to hear that you want to help your mom. Too many adult children abandon their parents in old age or sickness. It's never an easy job, always heartbreaking, and one of the most worthwhile things you'll ever do.

If it proves she's just not up to the travel, you can still find other ways to get her out of the depression funk. When my mom's cancer kept her from being to go out of the house, I brought in all sorts of movies and activities. We'd relive memories via photos and home videos. I played cards with my grandmother (and let her cheat). And most of all I just listened to all their stories of their lives. I still treasure those times and miss them terribly.

Good luck to you and God bless!

[Charleyann]

I have an 87 year old mom who is in the middle stages of the disease. She has outbursts that can be embarrassing and she can get outright mean at times. She will cool down pretty quickly but there can be sparks for a few minutes. There is no real way of anticipating what will set her off. Normally, she is homebound. She has had some physical limitations, as well, as of late. I will need to do a wheelchair for her and I will be the pusher; I'm 56. Hubby who is 70 years old will be scootering himself. My mom never learned to drive and she would never do a scooter and I'm not sure she could anyway.

My mom has never been to Disney and I have longed for her to go there. I feel if I don't do it in the next year or so it will never happen. I've been to Disney too many times to mention and I wanted her to see what I have loved about it all these years. She has COPD but has not been hit by any biggies like cancer, stroke or heart attack. She does have a blood clot which is helped by a filter. She has mobility issues with arthritus. Her hearing and seeing are pretty good. There are a few other issues I will not mention, here.

I would probably eat at food courts or counter service most of the time; so, we could go with the flow of her moods. We would take it slow and easy. I would probably be well satisfied with 4 to 6 hours at the parks each day. If we had to skip a day, we would do so.

I plan on doing some activities to get ready for the Disney trip like going to the zoo locally, etc. This way I could determine her mood swings and see how I like pushing a wheelchair, etc. I'm planning on some weekend trips to nearby states this year and next year to visit family and friends with her. We go out to eat with her occasionally and she's pretty good at restaurants, but I have had a few choice moments in the process even doing that outing. I feel a little uncomformatable for those nearby like I'm intruding on their good time. Should I feel uneasy? Should I put my mom through this at this stage? I want to lift her mental attitude and mine for that matter; so, I thought this might be worth a try.

I wanted to get some opinions, here. Am I expecting too much from my mom with taking an ambitious vacation?


My mom has this dreaded disease and she is only 63 years old. she has had it since her early 50's!

I too wish I could take my Mom. Thought of it and thought of it. I know in my heart she would love it, however she wonders when she isn't "home" which is a nursing home. My child has a fatal/ life threatening illness and feel it would be too much for me.

Oh how I long to take her. I pretty much lost ,my entire family in the past four years. My Dad age 67 to Cancer in July 17/04, My mom went into major alzheimers and lost all knowledge of her children and her life when dad died. She is here in body only! My only brother was killed in a Tornado last August 3rd and my Mom doesn't know he is gone. My child is sick and Disney makes me feel so much better. How I long for my Mom to feel the magic and maybe have a few lucid moments and to enjoy the moment!

My mom went downhill so fast with the death of my dad. If you can, take her and favor the moments....

Charleyann

[aurora23]

I think it is a really hard decision. I think your idea to try smaller trips first is a good idea. I have had two grandparents with Alzheimers disease and both reacted to situations differently. One grandparent would have outbursts, and turn mean and become paranoid (Before the disease she was a very sweet and kind woman). She became afraid of us abandoning her and would call at all hours of the night. The other maintained her good nature, but would become restless even at family gatherings and would want to go back to the "safety" of her home after a nhour or so. I think it may be possible to take her, but the question is would she enjoy Disney and for how long? Disney can be stressful for anyone. Additionally, you may want to consider how long you are waiting to take the trip. An Alzheimers patient can go down hill rapidly in a short timespan. I really hope you can go and it all works out for you. I just wanted to throw some things out there for you to consider. Either way your mother is lucky to have a child like you. You really seem to care about her. Best of luck.

[mechurchlady]

The bottom line for me is several things. Would she be happy or would she be dazed and confused? How does she react to new things? Does a trip to Wal-Mart mean you stressed out and not wanting to take her again?

I wanted to take my mother on a trip to San Antonio but I would have to get a state ID for her which would mean a lot of fights and stress. She would only do motorhome or Amtrak. I would be worn out caring for her and worrying about her. Bottom line is she stays home.

What is your bottom line? I would take her if she would have a good time, not be wandering off, not be having melt downs constantly, or otherwise totally ruin the vacation. It is hard when you have to leave someone at home but you have to think about your family and what is best for her. Good luck on your trip.

[Bete]

My mom has this dreaded disease and she is only 63 years old. she has had it since her early 50's!

I too wish I could take my Mom. Thought of it and thought of it. I know in my heart she would love it, however she wonders when she isn't "home" which is a nursing home. My child has a fatal/ life threatening illness and feel it would be too much for me.

Oh how I long to take her. I pretty much lost ,my entire family in the past four years. My Dad age 67 to Cancer in July 17/04, My mom went into major alzheimers and lost all knowledge of her children and her life when dad died. She is here in body only! My only brother was killed in a Tornado last August 3rd and my Mom doesn't know he is gone. My child is sick and Disney makes me feel so much better. How I long for my Mom to feel the magic and maybe have a few lucid moments and to enjoy the moment!

My mom went downhill so fast with the death of my dad. If you can, take her and favor the moments....

Charleyann


I cried when I read your post. My prayers are with you. My problem seems so small by comparison. I think people are shocked into Alzheimer's like when your dad died and your mom had a strong spiral downward that way.

I had a hard day with my mom yesterday and I would say no to Disney based on yesterday's outbursts. I couldn't be with her as much and I think that took a toll on her. We are trying to help my MIL (90 years old) long distance on making some life changing choices herself and we were on the phone with all the bros and sisters; so, I couldn't devote myself to my mom as much yesterday. It sure made a difference not being with my mom more.

I will continue to debate this issue for a while. I know the longer I wait on this the harder it will get to do it.

I really appreciate everyone sharing their thoughts. I even got a few privates messages and I thank those individuals, as well.

[DisOrBust]

You could try doing a nearby overnight stay and see how that goes? Is she on Aricept? Some patients have good results with it's use. As far as a "happy pill" you need a really good MD that knows what does and doesn't work with this diagnosis. Have you ever thought of seeing another MD without your mom along, a "paper consult"?

[Bete]

My MIL took ill and after a hospital stay she is spending time in a nursing home, right now. She is 90 plus. My hubby does help at home and it's hard for him to go alone anywhere; because, he's diabetic. He's had a few very low blood sugar levels and one incident caused a small car accident; so, I prefer if he doesn't travel alone. We will be staying in my MIL's home while we are there. My mom was there once about two years ago.

Anyway, we started to get ready yesterday and my mom already has high anxiety about it all. We leave tomorrow, Thursday for an eight hour ride. I've asked the doc for some anti anxiety drugs today and I'm still waiting word on this being good or not for my mom. I think this will be a good test to see how my mom will react about it all. I'll keep you all updated.

[Minnie&Nana]

Bete, my thoughts and prayer are with you as you make this difficult, but oh, so loving, decision.

I've not got any more helpful thoughts than others have offered, except one: the 4 to 6 hours per day you mentioned in the parks sounds very long. We never go for more than a few hours at time, 6 would be unusually long even for us. Just thinking of the stimulation overload for her. If you decide to give the trip a try, perhaps it might be worth considering very short periods at a park?

Perhaps a stay at a monorail resort (low lighting, relaxing resort like the Polynesian with large rooms, if possible?). Book room only, rather than a pkg - I am sure the resort would not charge for the rest of the stay if you had to leave early and explained the circumstances. Also, go for not more than 4 ngts, so as not to stretch her tolerance level for all the new experiences?

As I type this and think of your dear mother my heart aches for you. Disney is such a wonderful place, but it is very busy with all kinds of new noises, music etc all the time.

Sending loads of heartfelt prayer and good thoughts. :hug:

[newbydisney]

I say go BUT is there someone that could go with and help...give you a break now and then ...another family member?..if not I think I would contact an agency maybe someone here knows of one ..and see if you can get some help maybe just a few hours a day from a pro ....if there is anyway you can afford that or if her insurance would pay it would be nice to have some back-up...
sorry if someone already suggested this I didn't read the entire thread..

[fairykin]

In December.. my husband and i are taking our three grandchildren ( ages 6, and twin 4 year olds) also my mother and his father and mother, who has Alzheimer's.

I know this will be a challenging trip..however we are going to approach it laid back.. with rest stops often and lingering lunches.

We are not going to be the first ones to the park or the last ones to leave. We won't see everything.

YET, i will be giving my grandchildren a very special memory with their great grandmother.:goodvibes

And giving my husband a special memory with his mother on her last trip.

I wish You safe travel and comfort with whatever decision you make.

*hug*:angel:

[disneydeb]

I hope you are able to take her. I am a geriatic nurse in a long term care facility, and the majority of my residents are alzheimer's patients in various stages. I think it comes down to a matter of trust. Does she trust you? If you are her main caregiver, she proberly does, you must know how to handle outbursts, calm voice, gentle approach, maybe some seroquel. Do you trust yourself taking her? It sounds like your mind is already made up , if you feel you can handle her i say go for it! if you need to they have first aid stations where you can proberly get her to, so you all can regroup and take a few quiet moments, sometimes watching people or the ducks or a quiet out of the way spot maybe all you need for a few moments.My biggest concern would be if she sundowns. I would also make her wear on id in case she does wander. Most of my residents are happiest when their familys come and take them out. like on holidays, and their families tell me when they bring them back that my residents have no problem telling them when they 've had enough.Does she take a nap in the afternoon? if so plan that into her vacation too so she doesnt get over tired.most elderly i find love children and will talk to and smile at everyone they see. This vacation might do her some good, as she proberly read you disney stories and took you to see the movies. I'm sure she'll reconize the disney characters and stories , the emporium and the old fashioned ice cream parlors and costumes, magic kingdom will proberly delight her. here's sending you some pixie dust.:flower3:

[Bete]

I think the trip went rather well to Wisconsin with my mom. She was given an anti-anxiety drug for the trip. It was a very low dosage and we didn't over do it with the meds, either, but I think it took off the edge for her.

I believe for WDW we may do the same thing with an anti-anxiety drug for that trip. Also, I do have a caretaker agency lined up for my mom; so, she doesn't get overloaded about the trip and the surroundings of WDW. She will spend most of her day with this outside help while we enjoy the parks. We will let mom enjoy the parks to her level of satisfaction. If she skips a day of a park; so, be it. If she gets troubled in a half hour inside the parks we will leave. I don't think you can push on any level, here.

I'm still not convinced of doing the trip, but I haven't given up on the idea, yet. The Wisconsin trip was actually better in some ways then being at home in her natural surroundings.

[Minnie&Nana]

I'm glad it went to so well!

You are a wonderful and considerate daughter.

Blessings on your family as you make magical memories! :goodvibes

[SueM in MN]

I think the trip went rather well to Wisconsin with my mom. She was given an anti-anxiety drug for the trip. It was a very low dosage and we didn't over do it with the meds, either, but I think it took off the edge for her.

I believe for WDW we may do the same thing with an anti-anxiety drug for that trip. Also, I do have a caretaker agency lined up for my mom; so, she doesn't get overloaded about the trip and the surroundings of WDW. She will spend most of her day with this outside help while we enjoy the parks. We will let mom enjoy the parks to her level of satisfaction. If she skips a day of a park; so, be it. If she gets troubled in a half hour inside the parks we will leave. I don't think you can push on any level, here.

I'm still not convinced of doing the trip, but I haven't given up on the idea, yet. The Wisconsin trip was actually better in some ways then being at home in her natural surroundings.
Glad to hear your trial trip went well.
Sounds like you have planned well and hope everything goes exactly to plan.

[SueM in MN]

I don't really have much to add to the great advice you got already, but here are some other recent threads dealing with Alzheimers that might have some hints:
Aug 08 thread about doing Disney with Alzheimers (http://www.disboards.com/showthread.php?p=26809486)

June 08 thread about Disney with Alzheimers (http://www.disboards.com/showthread.php?p=25720371)

[Bete]

Glad to hear your trial trip went well.
Sounds like you have planned well and hope everything goes exactly to plan.

The more I learn the better it should be!

[Bete]

I couldn't resist that free dining offer. I feel if the trip flops at least I'm not out the dining cost for us.

First, let me say we had a zoo day here in Indy and spent about 4 hours without a break going everywhere to see the animals. We went out to eat after we left the park. My mom is not keen on zoos but we wanted to see how this would work. She had two small outbursts, but it wasn't horrible. We did not give her any anxiety pills for that outing.

My mom is not an early riser and hubby is a mid-morning person. We are all retired. I think I will solo in the parks and take advantage of EMH for early in the morn at the designated park for it. Hubby likes to read a newspaper in the morning and he can be my babysitter; because, more than likely mom will sleep. We are going by car; so, I will bring along some items for a light breakfast and some snacks for the room. When I get back late morn I'll get my mom ready and dressed. We will have an early lunch most days using the food court. We may even eat in our room if my mom is having any anxiety. If the anxiety is bad then I will give her an anti-anxiety pill. This worked well with our Wisconsin trip.

Our park day together will begin early afternoon. We will concentrate on shows, parades and entertainment. We will hit only a few rides. If she has an outburst we will try and find a quiet place to relax for a while in the park. Most days we have our TS meal between 5 and 6 pm. It will be up to my mom whether she wants to continue for the evening with the park after dinner. If not, I think half the time hubby will be willing to go back with her and I will solo again for the evening. By the way, hubby is 70 years old and diabetic; so, he won't be doing Disney commando style himself, either. We both have been there over two dozen times to Disney; so, we don't need to be in the parks for long days. I'll shorten my time alone in the parks, too if it helps. If hubby wants to be together for the evenings we will get a caretaker from an agency for my mom. I have two, reputable places lined up.

All the above is subject to change depending on my mom. I will change whatever to make her feel good including getting a caretaker for even more time if she rather stay at the resort. I even pre-ordered the photopass CD.

Believe it or not we are starting to talk about an east coast historical trip for next year including Williamsburg.

[Minnie&Nana]

I do so hope you will find many small magical moments with your dear mother!

We find it's often the small moments that make the sweetest memories.:)

Have a wonderful trip!! :flower3: (where did you decide to stay?).

[teruterubouzu]

I'm eager to hear how your trip goes. My mom is 64 and has dementia (we haven't pursued getting an alzheimer's diagnosis). I'd love to take her and my dad to Walt Disney World, but between her issues and my dad's wheelchair I'm scared. I really hope your trip goes well and that you have a wonderful and relaxing time.

[Bete]

We are off starting tomorrow. I have never been more prepared in my life for any trip. We even got a flu shot before the trip. I can actually relax today, Friday.

I'll try and post by 11/22 the results of the trip. We are even meeting up with an old classmate of my hubby for a meal towards the end of the trip.

The only dissappointing situation is rain is going to be part of our trip. I hope my mom doesn't get too hyper about it or sick from it.

Thanks for everyone's kind thoughts.

[Minnie&Nana]

I'm so glad you psoted - have been thinking about you and wodnering how the plan was coming along.

Sending loads of good wishes for a calm and delightful memory filled trip.

Take good care...
Godspeed!

[ireland_nicole]

Great to hear from you! Sounds like you've planned well, now to relax and enjoy this time together. I'm praying that you have a wonderful trip; please report back to us when you get home.
Nicole

[Twende]

Bete, I didn't see to post in this thread but some of my posts were linked above.

I hope you have a wonderful trip with your mom!

We leave soon for another Christmas trip. I will have lots of help this year as we have planned a family reunion trip. There are 17 of us going. :scared1: On second thought it might be easier if it were just me and my parents!:lmao:

I will be looking forward to your update when you return!

[Bete]

Well, we are back. We survived!

I will start out with the good. We accomplished everything I planned for the parks and then some. I may have underestimated on this count, but it was nice to get in even more than what I expected.

My mom smiled everytime a character greeted her. This included parades and meet and greets. With being in a wheelchair, it seemed that the characters were extra nice to her. I appreciated the attention she received.

We had two, private photo sessions at the Animal Kingdom Lodge and the Wilderness Lodge. We ended up with about 90 pictures from these sessions. I didn't think my mom would cooperate doing this, but she did. I've never had so many pictures of my mom all at once, especially in her later years.

She was alert for certain shows and parades and I felt she was able to get some enjoyment from them. There was a twinkle in her eyes, here and there.

It had been a very long time since I had any kind of vacation with my mom; so, it was even more special being together in my favorite place.

We had a couple of special moments, too. I created Disney park posters for the sides of my mom's wheelchair. At MK they were noticed by a cast member from the Buzz Lightyear ride. The poster stated my mom was a first timer and 87 years young. Anyways, she asked us to wait a little and she would return with a good suprise. Well, she did! We were given yellow sheets made out for a free ice cream for our party of three. We were given two more yellow sheets that acted as fastpasses for us to go on anything in the park. I told my mom it was all in her honor. Of course, she received her first timer button, too. We were given Buzz Lightyear stickers and we rode the ride twice in a row without getting off. I asked if this was part of the million dreams and she said no; it was solely done because my mom was a first timer. By the way, my mom actually scored in the Buzz Lightyear ride. I thought she would maybe just sit there, but she didn't. Our next experience entailed a cast member in the POP food court on our last day. She approached our booth and started talking to us while we were eating. Anyway, after making conversation for a while she pulled out three tinkerbell pins and gave one to each of us. She told us these pins are not sold; they are part of the million dreams give away. I was very pleased with getting a pin that's special and limited.

Well, that's the good in a nutshell. Stay tune for the rest. I want to be honest; so, I will say what was not so peachy, as well.

[Minnie&Nana]

You've been in my thoughts often and have been waiting for your return post.

It had been a very long time since I had any kind of vacation with my mom; so, it was even more special being together in my favorite place.

Well this was worth everything, yes? Certainly brought a tear to my eye. You have been a brave and very loving daughter.:hug:

Did you stay at POP? How did your mom do with all the icons? Hope you had a nice soothing lake view. ;)

So glad you are all home safe and sound.:hug:

[LindaDVC]

Glad you had a lot of good moments!

One time I was mentioning problems we have had at various vacations --
(chair breaking down, van died, Dan getting pneumonia, problems with a room, etc) and A friend said she would never want to go vacationing with us!

I responded that vacations are the best weeks of our lives and though we have some "non-peachy" moments -- we still have plenty of great moments !

When the traveling party is a quadraplegic, 89 and 91 year old parents, a diabetic and an ADHD kid -- their are bound to be some issues but you have to enjoy the positive moments! Glad you found plenty of those !

Glad you have so many pictures to remember it all too!

[Ms_Butterfly]

Sounds like your trip was a fantastic, successful memory-maker!! :)

Sounds like your mom experienced much Disney magic just from being there, not to mention the kind things the CMs did for her.

I'm so glad you went and took her!

[Bete]

To be fair we did have some ups and downs.

Getting ready in the morning was a killer. We seldom left the room before 10:30am. I know for some that doesn't sound too bad, but I'm use to being out of the room for early entry each day. Mom had some outbursts getting ready each day. This put a little damper on the start of the day, but fortunately it got better through the day.

My husband is not use to being in the same bedroom with my mom. Besides the obvious, he had a hard time with her snoring; although, he snores, too. It did give him some restless nights. He wore earplugs and he still had a hard time. I have to admit between the two of them snoring; I felt like I was experiencing stereo snoring. I feel for any other vacation we might do, I'm going for a condos/villas with at least 2 BDRs and baths from now on.

Without mom's hearing aid on (not worn while sleeping), mom can speak rather loudly. When she had her night time visits to the bathroom, she was on the loud side with me. I'm usually there to help. I was concerned for my neighbors at the resort and for hubby. She can be nasty at night. I didn't want to disturb anybody. This happened on the average twice a night. Hubby was bothered by it a few times during our stay and it affected his sleep.

My mom had a problem with some dinner TS meals that were ala carte. She didn't eat as well as I would have liked her to at those places. She was better with buffet places. She did fine with all our counter service meals including Tangerine Cafe in Morocco.

There were some shows my mom took a nap like Beauty and the Beast and Nemo at AK. She didn't sleep through it all, but I think it was hard for her to follow the show that way.

Well, that sums up this portion.

[SueM in MN]

Our next experience entailed a cast member in the POP food court on our last day. She approached our booth and started talking to us while we were eating. Anyway, after making conversation for a while she pulled out three tinkerbell pins and gave one to each of us. She told us these pins are not sold; they are part of the million dreams give away. I was very pleased with getting a pin that's special and limited.

Well, that's the good in a nutshell. Stay tune for the rest. I want to be honest; so, I will say what was not so peachy, as well.
Glad to hear your report (good and not so good, it's all part of the trip. And sometimes the not so good makes the good stuff even more sweet!)

My DD has been given 2 of those pins in the past year.
Both the people who gave the pins to my DD said that they were given the pins specifically to give away to someone who could use a little magic and they 'saved' them to give to the 'right' person.
So, a little more magical pixie dust for your trip:goodvibes

[Twende]

I am so happy that you have returned and you here posting! It sounds like you had more peachy times than sour spots!

Snorers are so funny when they hear someone else snore. It just cracks me up that it bothers them! :lmao: I fell sorry for you! :goodvibes

Our trip is just around the corner and I am starting to get excited and panicked all at once.

We have trouble in the morning too but sometimes it is worse at night. My mom never wants to settle down and sleep at night. She wants to keep going.

I am glad that you made the trip happen!:thumbsup2

[Bete]

We have trouble in the morning too but sometimes it is worse at night. My mom never wants to settle down and sleep at night. She wants to keep going.

I face the same problem at home, but with the activities and the open air at Disney she was ready to sleep when we hit the room. I hope you have the same luck. Now getting up at night for bathroom is an issue no matter where we are. There are times my mom is restless after that and it takes a while to settle down from it.

[Bete]

My DD has been given 2 of those pins in the past year.
Both the people who gave the pins to my DD said that they were given the pins specifically to give away to someone who could use a little magic and they 'saved' them to give to the 'right' person.
So, a little more magical pixie dust for your trip:goodvibes

I'm glad you had this experience, too. Every moment that's a little more special makes it a better vacation and makes up for some of the sour moments.

[Bete]

Public restroom visits were the absolute worse. My mom doesn't like them to begin with, but the frequency needed at the parks makes it even more horrible. I kept her on a schedule to avoid accidents. That strategy worked very well but she had bad outbursts including screaming and swearing in them. Some places were tight fits and that made it even worse. On one occasion, there was a knock on our stall and it was a nurse asking if she could help. I knew that would be worse for my mom; so, I declined the offer. I explained she has Alzheimer's and I could handle it it but it would take a little time to clean her, etc. She understood. That episode must have been pretty bad, if I was approached by a stranger. I try to tell my mom not to scream, etc. and sometimes that can made the situation worse. I didn't want children in there to have the Disney Magic get ruined; so, I tried my best, but there were more bad times than good in this regard. Thank goodness she doesn't want to take her sweet time in a public restroom; so, it was short episodes there rather than long ones. When I could use a companion restroom that was the best. In Epcot, I loved the companion restroom in Germany and The Living Seas; because, they were somewhat separated from the common area. I wish there were more of those throughout all the parks. Fortunately, she didn't have any really bad outbursts out in the public areas on rides, shows, etc. I would have probably been scared if she did.

The other bad situation was my mom refusing to wear her coat during one of our private photo sessions at the Wilderness Lodge. We had jackets on, but she refused over and over again to wear one herself. I believed she got chilled on that occasion; because, most of these sessions are outside. Well, she did get sick and our last morning there was spent at a clinic. She had a bad sinus infection (like a head cold) and she was given an antibiotic. Her throat was red per the doctor. She was given 10 days of meds and she is still on them, now. She is very irritable about it. She never liked colds (who does?) and she can be nasty with them.

I will admit that Once is Enough for this experience with her. I think the trip was a little long for the circumstances. The other side was that we needed the length to see all we could see at all the parks; because, I knew I wouldn't do it again. If I was local; I would scale back. She did become disoriented, especially when we switched resorts with our layover nights coming and going there. I'm planning for a Dollywood trip in Pigeon Forge for next Christmas season, now. There are a lot of shows we can see there; so, I think that will suit us. We can get a resonable condo there and we can have a shorter trip. We will be able to drive there in one shot which is a good bonus.

Would I do it again knowing what I know now? That answer is an absolute yes! There were a lot more positive aspects to the trip than negative ones. Good luck to all that try in this regard. I would say it's doable, as long as, you realize every moment will not be perfect. If I can be of any help to anyone with any advice let me know. You can private message me here, as well.

Thanks to all for listening and supporting me in my efforts to accomplish this trip with my mom.

[teruterubouzu]

Thank you for sharing all aspects of the trip with your mom. I'm glad you got to have some nice memories of the parks with her. You are a wonderful daughter for doing these things with her. I don't think I'd have the emotional fortitude to do it.