Childless and Moving On

[ReaderGirl]

Hi! I'm hoping to talk to other "Moving On-ers"! :moped:

My husband and I both love Disney. The first time I visited, I was amazed by how many fun things there were for adults to do. Having said that, I thoroughly enjoyed the very "non-adult" character breakfast at the Crystal Palace! There are so many things at Disney that I want to explore....
we've never been to the water parks,
I want to go to the Adventurer's Club,
I'd love to eat at Boma...
well, that's just a start.

Here is a potpourri of topics I'd love to hear about from others who, like me, are childless but didn't really choose it, and have decided to move on (hey, I'm 45, it isn't going to happen).
1. How you coped with childlessness that you didn't choose, and how you've moved on, or are moving on.
2. Do you think being childless has helped or hurt your marriage? (Sorry if this is a little too serious!)
3. Your favorite restaurants at Disney. (Unofficial guidebooks always complain about the Disney food, but I love to eat at Disney!)
4. Pets, pets, pets!!

Here's a copy of my post to the childless-not-by-choice thread.
Hi everybody.

My husband and I couldn't have kids, we're 45 now, and it's just not going to happen.

Everyone has such a different approach; everyone is following a different path... I'd be very interested to talk to Disney fans who were unable to have kids, who have decided against adoption for whatever reason, basically, women who, like me, have decided to go forth with a childless life. I know there are lots of women on this thread who are ardently seeking a pregnancy (more power to you!), so this would be a "different take".

There is a childfree by choice thread, and I've posted there sometimes. I get the feeling that the childfree group is a bit younger than I, and (obviously, given my member name!) I'm a stay-home-and-read-a-book sort of girl, not really much of a party girl. And I never said "I want to be childfree"; it just sort of happened.

I think I'll start a new thread and see if anyone wants to chat. I'll call it Childless and Moving On... how's that sound? Here's a little starter -- I live in the Midwest, love Disney (of course), am married, don't have a dog yet but want one, read voraciously, and (drum roll...) I like to tap dance! I love to travel (especially to warm places when it's 10 degrees in the Midwest).

If you are childless and probably gonna stay that way, please come chat with me!
ReaderGirl :hippie:
P.S. I just finished Confessions of a Jane Austen Addict. Not the best book I ever read, but it was fun.

[ReaderGirl]

Good morning everybody! :flower1:
Hello to everyone who couldn't have children and would like to move on, or who planned on having kids and never got around to it, or who was worn out by the adoption process, or who wanted kids but never met the right partner... if you're moving on, want to move, or are trying to move on, then "Hi! Let's talk!" :listen: Tell me your story.

Current ReaderGirl reads: I'm listening to Jane Austen's Mansfield Park on audiobook (audiobooks are wonderful -- I listen while driving, and I wear headphones and listen while cleaning -- makes it much more pleasant), and
Authentic Happiness by Martin Seligman.

Current Disney thoughts: I'm mulling over Mousefest. I've kind of been wanting to try it. Maybe this is the year! I'm not sure if my husband can make it (long work hours), but maybe I'll take my very first solo trip. :beach:

I'm off to the dentist...
What's going on with you?
Have a great day!
ReaderGirl :hippie:

[jumoo044]

Hi ReaderGirl!:wave2: You sound a lot like me. I could've pretty much written what you wrote!
My hubby and I have been married almost 20 years, and have no kids. I'm 44 and he's 48; like you said, aint gonna happen. I worked nights and slept days for almost 15 years, so the only time I saw hubby was on my days off, when I felt like crap and so tired I could barely move. I basically don't even remember the 90's--it's just a hazy fog to me! LOL! (I work days now, and feel so much better!) Anyway, having kids just never happened for us, and we're okay with it. Like you said, I'm movin' on!
I'm a voracious reader, as well. Just finished "The Glass Castle"...loved it! Have you read it?
And we love Disney. I'm actually thinking about a solo trip! My favorite person to go with is my niece, because she is always agreeable, cheerful, never gets cranky...like me! LOL! But right now she has a boyfriend that wont let her out of his sight...ugh. But that's another story.(sigh)
Well, I'm off to work! See ya later!

[ReaderGirl]

Hi Jumoo! :flower1:

Hope your workday went well. Yes, working days sounds way better than nights!

I haven't read Glass Castle, but I'd heard about it, and after you mentioned it, I looked it up on amazon.com. It looks very interesting. I love stories with a theme of overcoming adversity, and this looks like a good one. If I read it (my list of want-to-reads is always long), I'll let you know.

My husband just finished Spinning Disney's World. Not the best book he's ever read, but he said it was fun.

I've been considering a solo trip, too. If I go for it, it will probably be in conjunction with Mousefest. That way, I know I'll have some people to visit with if I feel out of sorts from traveling alone (but who knows? maybe I'll love it).

Good chatting with you!
ReaderGirl :hippie:

[ReaderGirl]

Hey everybody! :flower:

It's going to be a beautiful summer day here. I love warm weather!!
Husband and I are very into biking and hiking, so our weekends are pretty active in the summer. That said, my knees have reached their forties along with the rest of me, so I'm trying to pace myself. :coffee:

I had dental work done yesterday, and today my entire head hurts! I've had lemonade and aspirin for breakfast.

How is everything in your kidless lives? I know you're out there, and I'm hoping you will tell your stories.

Books! My husband just finished Spinning Disney's World: Memories of a Magic Kingdom Press Agent.
Have you seen the Disney guidebook by Julie and Mike Neal? It's called (simply) The Complete Guide to Walt Disney World 2008. What makes it special is the photos... lots of beautiful, color photos. It's filled with them, and if you need a Disney World fix, you can look at the great photos and dream! :sunny:

Enjoy your day!
ReaderGirl :hippie:

[Leger13]

Hey ReaderGirl....I found ya :cool1:

Glad you started this thread.

My name is Carla and my husband is Chris. I'm 26 and he's 27 years old. We have been actively trying to have a child for the last 3 years. It has really weighed on our relationship and work. I started going to the doctor last year (just a gyno) for the initial tests and wasn't getting anywhere. This year I started going to an RE. Was told that the only way we'd have a child is through IUI or IVF. It's not really my choice to move on but due to circumstances beyond my control it will be best for us to just move forward with our lives without children.

I have been going to WDW ever since I can remember and still can't get enough of it. My Mom and I took Chris for his first time to WDW when he was 20. Right around when we first started dating. He has loved it ever since. :lovestruc We even honeymooned there. I love how WDW has things for pretty much anyone and everyone to do. It's so great!

Oh, and you wanted to talk about pets? I have 4 dogs! I have a Giant Schnauzer named Bo, a mutt named Harley, a Miniature Schnauzer named Midnight and a Maltese/Papillion mix named Lexie. They are the closest thing that I'll probably ever get to children. I love then tons! I'll post pictures later if you like.

Do I think being childless has helped or hurt my marriage? Well, so far it's hurt it because with all the trying and stress of doctors and such we almost ended up in a separation. But, we are working on things and trying to refocus our lives on ourselves and God. Just trying to be happy and get back on track. So far so good, but it's only been a week :confused3

(sorry my responses are so out of order...I'm at work :laughing: )

How have I coped with being childless? Well, before I would get jealous and cry and be upset. For the last few months I've tried to be happy for others. The jealousy got better and I actually went to Florida to help a friend with her newborn. That was trying but I think it helped. Right now, I don't feel jealous of people with kids. That may change with time but I'm actually pretty happy just being married and living life. When I start to think of kids and what it would be like to have them I just remind myself of what I have in front of me (great house, car, husband dogs and family) and tell myself to be thankful for that and not take it for granted anymore.

As for my favorite restaurants at WDW....I'd have to say my #1 favorite is Liberty Tree Tavern. I have to go there at least once on every single WDW trip.

I've also never been to any of the water parks but would like to make it to at least one on my trip this September.

I've never been to Adventurers Club but plan on doing that in September as well :thumbsup2

I have a Pre-TR going on now if anyone would like to join in. The link is in my signature :goodvibes

Jumboo....it's very nice to meet you as well!

[jumoo044]

:wave: Oh yeah, you would love the Glass Castle. It sounds like it would be right up your alley.
When is Mousefest, and what is it all about? Maybe I will look into that.
I think the only thing I would feel uncomfortable about a solo trip would be eating in a restaurant alone. I would have to read or something while I was waiting for my food, i guess. But I would probably just end up eating at counter service places. Other than that, I would LOVE it. I kind of like being by myself sometimes!

[Leger13]

Hey everybody! :flower:

It's going to be a beautiful summer day here. I love warm weather!!
Husband and I are very into biking and hiking, so our weekends are pretty active in the summer. That said, my knees have reached their forties along with the rest of me, so I'm trying to pace myself. :coffee:

I had dental work done yesterday, and today my entire head hurts! I've had lemonade and aspirin for breakfast.

How is everything in your kidless lives? I know you're out there, and I'm hoping you will tell your stories.

Books! My husband just finished Spinning Disney's World: Memories of a Magic Kingdom Press Agent.
Have you seen the Disney guidebook by Julie and Mike Neal? It's called (simply) The Complete Guide to Walt Disney World 2008. What makes it special is the photos... lots of beautiful, color photos. It's filled with them, and if you need a Disney World fix, you can look at the great photos and dream! :sunny:

Enjoy your day!
ReaderGirl :hippie:

Glad you are going to have a good day today :) I haven't biked or hiked in a LONG time! Sounds like fun though :goodvibes

I'm sorry your head is hurting. Hope you feel better soon!

It's pretty here today but I'm stuck at work :headache: I think I might get to enjoy the weather this afternoon though. I'll go home and sew on a block for a quilt (yes, I quilt) and then go with Chris to the park where he's gonna drive around his motorcycle. He just got a new one. Never ridden before so his Dad is teaching him. Last night was his first night really riding it and he did really great. Stalled out a few times but never laid the bike down so that's a bonus considering the thing is expensive and he doesn't want to ruin it :laughing: Men and their toys

[PrincessSuzanne]

Hi Ladies,

Reader Girl, I caught your post on the Childless Not by choice thread and felt that I belong here more than there. I have been talking to those ladies for probably more than a year now, but DH and I decided to move on about a year ago.

Let me go back and introduce myself. I am Suzanne and I just turned 35 on Sunday 6/8 and DH will be 30 in August. We have been married for 6.5 years and have been trying to have a baby since the day we got married. We have had him tested and me partially tested and have also had 3 IUI's that were unsuccessful. We can't afford to have IVF and adoption is also out of the question at this and probably future times.

DH and I bought my grandparents house in October and my mother and 17 year old cousin live with us and our 4 cats, 1 dog, and 2 rabbits. Mom has 2 cats and a dog. I guess these are the only babies we will ever have and that may be a blessing. I have now reached a point in my life where I am set in my ways and I am probably happier being childless.

We just returned last night from our 6th trip to WDW and we took my 10 year old cousin and boy was that an experience I don't want again. I even told my DH that I was kinda glad we didn't have children so we could have our adult trips. Even though I have to look after mom, it isn't that bad. She is a good kid, it was just hard to deal with her adn she would get whiney and I can't deal with that.


My favorite restaurant at WDW is I don't know. I like most of them. What I don't like is the new chicken breast nuggets that they have instead of the strips.

I don't know how not having child has affected our marriage. I would have to say we are probably better off. DH gets jealous if I try to spend time with the children in the family. He is very immature and very impatient. I think people think I am selfish now beacuse I don't have children, well I have news for them. I am not selfish, but I am set in my ways. I didn't choose this lifestyle, it chose me and while every now and again I have a meltdown about being childless, they are becoming less frequent. The last one at least was because of my hormones, which have become controlled by Seasonique BCP's.

I am OCD and high maintenance, and if we can keep this thread going, you will find that out soon enough.

Suzanne

[eeyoregon]

My heart hurts for all of you that want children and are unable to have them. I have a very dear friend who has been trying for 10 years and I have walked the journey with her and feel so much of her pain...she and her husband are such amazing, giving, caring people and it makes me so sad for them.

I have such great respect and compassion for those who are childless but not by choice. It's something I pray about almost daily.

I feel as if one of my prayers was answered last year. A co-worker, who was 46 at the time, has been married for over 23 years and was never able to have children. Last April she went to the doctor to discuss hormone replacement therapy as she was starting to experience the "change". The doctor did a routine exam and tests and the results were conclusive: she was pregnant...6 & 1/2 months pregnant!!!! In July she gave birth to the most precious miracle ever.

I will continue to pray, hope, wish and dream for each and everyone of you.:hug:

[Leger13]

Hi Ladies,

Reader Girl, I caught your post on the Childless Not by choice thread and felt that I belong here more than there. I have been talking to those ladies for probably more than a year now, but DH and I decided to move on about a year ago.

Let me go back and introduce myself. I am Suzanne and I just turned 35 on Sunday 6/8 and DH will be 30 in August. We have been married for 6.5 years and have been trying to have a baby since the day we got married. We have had him tested and me partially tested and have also had 3 IUI's that were unsuccessful. We can't afford to have IVF and adoption is also out of the question at this and probably future times.

DH and I bought my grandparents house in October and my mother and 17 year old cousin live with us and our 4 cats, 1 dog, and 2 rabbits. Mom has 2 cats and a dog. I guess these are the only babies we will ever have and that may be a blessing. I have now reached a point in my life where I am set in my ways and I am probably happier being childless.

We just returned last night from our 6th trip to WDW and we took my 10 year old cousin and boy was that an experience I don't want again. I even told my DH that I was kinda glad we didn't have children so we could have our adult trips. Even though I have to look after mom, it isn't that bad. She is a good kid, it was just hard to deal with her adn she would get whiney and I can't deal with that.


My favorite restaurant at WDW is I don't know. I like most of them. What I don't like is the new chicken breast nuggets that they have instead of the strips.

I don't know how not having child has affected our marriage. I would have to say we are probably better off. DH gets jealous if I try to spend time with the children in the family. He is very immature and very impatient. I think people think I am selfish now beacuse I don't have children, well I have news for them. I am not selfish, but I am set in my ways. I didn't choose this lifestyle, it chose me and while every now and again I have a meltdown about being childless, they are becoming less frequent. The last one at least was because of my hormones, which have become controlled by Seasonique BCP's.

I am OCD and high maintenance, and if we can keep this thread going, you will find that out soon enough.

Suzanne

Hi Suzanne, I recognize you from the other thread. So glad to see you over here. :hug:

I'm glad you had fun in WDW but I am sorry you weren't able to fully enjoy yourselves with your cousin along. I can see how that would be a struggle since you are so used to going just the two of you. But, there's always next trip for just the two of you :thumbsup2 Have you started planning yet? I know I always start planning my next trip before I even go on the upcoming one :lmao:

[Leger13]

My heart hurts for all of you that want children and are unable to have them. I have a very dear friend who has been trying for 10 years and I have walked the journey with her and feel so much of her pain...she and her husband are such amazing, giving, caring people and it makes me so sad for them.

I have such great respect and compassion for those who are childless but not by choice. It's something I pray about almost daily.

I feel as if one of my prayers was answered last year. A co-worker, who was 46 at the time, has been married for over 23 years and was never able to have children. Last April she went to the doctor to discuss hormone replacement therapy as she was starting to experience the "change". The doctor did a routine exam and tests and the results were conclusive: she was pregnant...6 & 1/2 months pregnant!!!! In July she gave birth to the most precious miracle ever.

I will continue to pray, hope, wish and dream for each and everyone of you.:hug:

It makes me sad to hear about couple's struggles with getting pregnant if they have any. I'm glad to hear that one of your prayers was answered. That is insane that your friend was 6 and 1/2 months pregnant and thinking she was going through the change. What a SHOCK that pregnancy must have been but what a blessing at the same time. God truly works in mysterious ways!!

[Leger13]

Good morning ladies! I hope everyone has a fantastic day today. Tomorrow is Friday!! :woohoo:

I have some friends coming into town tomorrow evening and will be staying through Tuesday. I work for my Dad so I asked him for Monday off and he gave it to me :woohoo: I am now looking forward to seeing my friends and a 3 day weekend! :yay:

BTW, my friend that is coming to see me lives in Orlando. She frequents WDW every single week. She picks up Disney pins for me (I'm a collector) and other goodies so I can't wait to see what she has for me this time! It's so bad that I don't even have to go to WDW to spend my $$$ there :lmao:

[ReaderGirl]

Hi everybody. I usually post in the a.m., but I spent the morning weeding my elderly mother's garden. This girl needs a shower!

Eeyoregon, WHOA, that must have been a surprise!! :cutie:

Jumoo, hi! I've never been to Mousefest, but I've been mulling over the possibilities... it looks like it's a loosely arranged convention for anyone who chats about Disney on the web. Various website authors, and authors of books about Disney, gather at DW and host various get-togethers that might be informational, or might just be a "meet" with everyone going to an attraction at the same time. I've always wondered about taking a solo trip, and I think this might be a good way to do it. It looks like you can do group stuff, or of course, go your own way. Here's a website: http://www.mousefest.org/default.asp .
You can sign up for the Mousefest newsletter, and get updates.

And Jumoo, I know what you mean about doing your own thing. I love people, love to travel with my husband, but sometimes I like to be alone, just to form my own thoughts. ;)

Hi Carla! Thanks for telling your story. I can "hear" (read) that infertility has been tough for you, but I can also hear your really positive outlook. Good for you.

Pets! Please post photos! I love dogs. My husband and I recently moved to a new community, so we're in an apartment until we get to know the place better and can buy wisely. I'm getting a dog, oh... maybe 5 minutes after we get a house! :love:

Re childlessness and marriage... in some ways it's been hard on my husband and me, because for a while it was a stressor, but in the long run, it's been nice in many ways. Parents have to become coworkers, and that can be a strain. On the other hand, life without kids can feel like one long date, and there are lots of fun possibilities. It's sad that we didn't have children, but as long as we didn't, I want to enjoy the bright side.

Carla, I've never been to the Liberty Tree! There are so many Disney restaurants I want to try...

Enjoy your long weekend with friends.
P.S. Way to go on the quilting! I don't quilt, but I recently taught myself to knit. I'm still at the dishcloth stage...

Suzanne, thanks for posting your story! I love to hear everyone's story. It helps because, in a sea of parents, it's easy to feel like an oddball.

Rabbits! I want photos!

Like you, Suzanne, if I'm gonna be childless, I'm gonna enjoy it! There's always an upside. :umbrella:
Have a great weekend! :sunny:

Everyone take care,
ReaderGirl :hippie:

[jumoo044]

Good morning, everybody! I enjoyed reading all the posts from everyone. Happy belated birthday, Suzanne!
My "kids" are Max the basset hound, and Simon the orange stripey cat. Max's sister, Molly, died in March.:sad1: She had a lump on her leg, and it was cancer. The vet said we could have her leg amputated, which I was considering, but then the xray showed that it had spread to her lungs. He said she could possibly live another 6 months to a year, but within 2 weeks she was in a lot of pain, and couldn't even walk anymore, so we had to let her go. It was so hard, she was such a beautiful sweet girl, who had a hard life; abused until we rescued her, and then she went blind due to glaucoma when she was 5 yrs old. Sorry about being such a downer.
Well, it's Friday! What's everyone got planned for the weekend? If the weather's good, we're going to camp!
Leger, that's cool you have a friend that goes to WDW every single week! That would be something I would do, if I could. I don't think I would ever get tired of it.

[DISchick]

Hi all! I am a first grade teacher and my husband teaches high school theater. We've taught for 14 years and have been married for almost 15. We've tried for over 10 years...some infertility treatments, some very early adoption explorations. I've just recently felt that it truly is time to accept our reality and "move on", so I found this thread at a great time!
I really do fine during the school year. I've got 20 or so babies to be with every day and I'm exhausted and lovin' every minute of it! It's this time of year that kills me...I've got too much time on my hands. I DON'T do summer school---I need the break AND we've got to go to Disney! :banana: But my hormones have really been getting the best of me lately.

In a weird way, I think my marriage is stronger. We don't have the distraction of children and we concentrate on making each other happy. It would have been really easy to come apart at the seems, though especially with fertility drugs in my system. I AM glad that part is over...it was just wrong for me. Movin' on....

We LOVE Disney! Whether it's just the two of us or if we are sharing our DVC at the Boardwalk with family and friends, Disney always is our happy place!
One of my favorite places to eat is the Biergarten in Germany...for the atmosphere! I love the fruit and cheese plate at the Rose & Crown, too. It really is too hard to choose a favorite place. We're trying new restaurants on our upcoming trip, so I'll have more to choose from soon. :)

Here are our furbabies...Magnolia, Rosie, and Poppy http://jill.kershonline.com/upload/pics//group pic small.jpg

Thanks for letting me share...it's good to hear the stories of others out there like us. Movin' on and makin' the best of it :)

[DISchick]

Now that I've found this thread, I'd love to keep it going......

How's everybody doing today? Did you make it through Father's Day all right?:hug:

[PrincessSuzanne]

Hi Suzanne, I recognize you from the other thread. So glad to see you over here. :hug:

I'm glad you had fun in WDW but I am sorry you weren't able to fully enjoy yourselves with your cousin along. I can see how that would be a struggle since you are so used to going just the two of you. But, there's always next trip for just the two of you :thumbsup2 Have you started planning yet? I know I always start planning my next trip before I even go on the upcoming one :lmao:

Hi Leger, yes I am from the other thread and it really is time to move on. I think it is making me stronger. It really might make me very strong after our December trip to WDW with my cousin and her sister and 3 children (10, 6, & 3). the 6 year old has Autism and might be a challenge. We normally take my mom, so we aren't really use to a DH and me trip, that only happended once. Was hoping to surprise him for his 30 b-day in August, but can't see that happening.

I am planning that big trip in December. We had decided to take this trip as soon as we got back from our December 2006 trip, so I have been planning it since then, plus we added a trip in June 07, Aug 07, Dec 07, and June 08. Haven't started planning anything for 2009 yet, but just might soon. My cousin decided in April that she wanted to go and take her 3 children since she was getting a huge child support back payment, so we have added them. She has a heart condition and can't take them alone, because she can't ride much and she knows the 6 year old will want to ride everything. Plus, she can't stand the heat. Smart me decided to stay at a different resort than she will be at though. At first we were at AS Music Fam Suites, then added her to a regular room there, it got my juices flowing and decided to move to WL and she moved to Pop, which is better for everyone. Her oldest (10) will stay with us, since she has an AP and will stay the 2 extra days we are staying.


Hi everybody. I usually post in the a.m., but I spent the morning weeding my elderly mother's garden. This girl needs a shower!

Eeyoregon, WHOA, that must have been a surprise!! :cutie:

Jumoo, hi! I've never been to Mousefest, but I've been mulling over the possibilities... it looks like it's a loosely arranged convention for anyone who chats about Disney on the web. Various website authors, and authors of books about Disney, gather at DW and host various get-togethers that might be informational, or might just be a "meet" with everyone going to an attraction at the same time. I've always wondered about taking a solo trip, and I think this might be a good way to do it. It looks like you can do group stuff, or of course, go your own way. Here's a website: http://www.mousefest.org/default.asp .
You can sign up for the Mousefest newsletter, and get updates.

And Jumoo, I know what you mean about doing your own thing. I love people, love to travel with my husband, but sometimes I like to be alone, just to form my own thoughts. ;)

Hi Carla! Thanks for telling your story. I can "hear" (read) that infertility has been tough for you, but I can also hear your really positive outlook. Good for you.

Pets! Please post photos! I love dogs. My husband and I recently moved to a new community, so we're in an apartment until we get to know the place better and can buy wisely. I'm getting a dog, oh... maybe 5 minutes after we get a house! :love:

Re childlessness and marriage... in some ways it's been hard on my husband and me, because for a while it was a stressor, but in the long run, it's been nice in many ways. Parents have to become coworkers, and that can be a strain. On the other hand, life without kids can feel like one long date, and there are lots of fun possibilities. It's sad that we didn't have children, but as long as we didn't, I want to enjoy the bright side.

Carla, I've never been to the Liberty Tree! There are so many Disney restaurants I want to try...

Enjoy your long weekend with friends.
P.S. Way to go on the quilting! I don't quilt, but I recently taught myself to knit. I'm still at the dishcloth stage...

Suzanne, thanks for posting your story! I love to hear everyone's story. It helps because, in a sea of parents, it's easy to feel like an oddball.

Rabbits! I want photos!

Like you, Suzanne, if I'm gonna be childless, I'm gonna enjoy it! There's always an upside. :umbrella:
Have a great weekend! :sunny:

Everyone take care,
ReaderGirl :hippie:

I will see if my bunny babies will let me tak a picture this weekend and get someone to help me post it. They just turned 4 in April and are a real joy. People look at you funny when you say you have rabbits for pets and they stay in the house, and play with toys.

My mom has decided she is the furbaby Fairy Grandmother :lmao:

DH and I have decided to live it up :goodvibes We are homeowners now, and both really love WDW. We like to travel, mostly to WDW, but to other closer places as well. He wants to go to Atlanta to the new Aquarium and New World of Coke place, so I may play hookie on his birthday and take him.

Why not, we deserve it. We work hard for a living, too ::yes::


Good morning, everybody! I enjoyed reading all the posts from everyone. Happy belated birthday, Suzanne!
My "kids" are Max the basset hound, and Simon the orange stripey cat. Max's sister, Molly, died in March.:sad1: She had a lump on her leg, and it was cancer. The vet said we could have her leg amputated, which I was considering, but then the xray showed that it had spread to her lungs. He said she could possibly live another 6 months to a year, but within 2 weeks she was in a lot of pain, and couldn't even walk anymore, so we had to let her go. It was so hard, she was such a beautiful sweet girl, who had a hard life; abused until we rescued her, and then she went blind due to glaucoma when she was 5 yrs old. Sorry about being such a downer.
Well, it's Friday! What's everyone got planned for the weekend? If the weather's good, we're going to camp!
Leger, that's cool you have a friend that goes to WDW every single week! That would be something I would do, if I could. I don't think I would ever get tired of it.


Thank you for the birthday wish. We had a great trip and that distracted me a little from the fact that I am now 35 :scared1:

Our furbabies are

Murphy-American long hair solid white kitty (adopted from a friend)
Nicho-Egyptian Mau mix kitty (adopted from the Humane Society)
Cinnamon-Red tabby-spoiled kitty(adopted from the Humane Society)
Angel-torti tabby-old old lady kitty(adopted from the Humane Society)

Chip-Laso Apso (sp?)/terrier mix, doggy looks like Chip from Chip and Dale but walks on 4 legs.

Ginger or GinGin(when we found out he was the boy(yes, he is fixed)) brown/red mini rex bunny baby and his sister Ozzie(was told she was the boy) she is about the color of a Russian blue cat and has a big round belly.

I'm not sure Angel is going to be around much longer (vet says she is about 15 years old now), but she still keeps on keeping on.

Suzanne

[PrincessSuzanne]

Now that I've found this thread, I'd love to keep it going......

How's everybody doing today? Did you make it through Father's Day all right?:hug:


Well, it is Hump Day and that is sorta what I feel like :laughing:. I am just ready for the weekend again.

Today is MIL's birthday, so glad she lives in California and I don't have to talk to her. Can you tell I don't like her :rotfl: I really don't ::yes::

Father's Day isn't a big issue at my house. My father wasn't in my life, only my grandfather and he passed when I was five, but I do remember him on that day. DH doesn't really care one way or the other anyway, he called his father and stepfather, no biggie. It's Mothers Day that is the issue, hoping it will get better as the years go by.

I am bored here at work and want to be at home, but I gotta work.

I love to talk, so hopefully we can keep this thread going.

Suzanne

[jumoo044]

Good morning, everybody!
Suzanne, my sister has a rabbit. She found him on her boyfriend's property last fall; she knew he was no wild rabbit! So she got a trap, and then went to get some "bait" for it, but when she came back out the bunny had hopped right in the trap! He didn't need any enticement at all! I guess he had had enough of freedom! Turns out he had belonged to a neighbor, but they didn't want him anymore. So now my sis has him, and she adores him. She just calls him Bunny. Or sometimes Buns of Steel.:rotfl:
Father's Day was uneventful for us. Both my hubby's and my father have passed away. Someone asked me if I got anything for my husband for Father's Day...uhh, no, why would I? He's not a father. Well, he didn't get anything for you for Mother's Day? Weren't you pissed? Uhh, no...

[ReaderGirl]

Hi everybody! :wave2:

I'm glad you're still here! I got swept up in lots of things going on around here -- everything happened at once! Anyway, I'm back in circulation. :moped:

Thanks to everyone who posted pet photos. :dogdance:

Warning: a little glum ahead...
I've been feeling my kidless state lately. I can go for a while and not be aware of it, but then suddenly I'm in a situation in which everyone is talking about their kids, and it's just awkward, you know? People occasionally ask "Why don't you have kids?" There is no good answer to that question. (And of course, it's none of their business.) If I say "We couldn't have kids", then they sometimes start promoting adoption. (By the way, I have a friend who was approved to adopt a little girl from China. She set up an adorable room for her... and then nothing happened -- she's been waiting for 3 years! It's so sad.)

I think that sometimes my childlessness feels more important when I'm feeling, well... old. I'm only 45, I'm very active, I bike, I hike, I take dance classes, but some days, it gets harder than others. And I do worry occasionally... will I be a lonely elderly person since I won't have kids and grandkids to check in on me? On the other hand, I often enjoy my solitude. And lots of people with kids don't get as many visits as they'd like.

Okay, thanks for letting me get that out of my system! :grouphug:
:idea: I know, I'll watch that new tv show, Baby Borrowers! That'll cure me!

It's been a beautiful week, weather-wise. My husband and I are going biking in the morning. Then maybe we'll head to a pool to recuperate! And I think we're going out for breakfast on Sunday. I'm a brunchaholic. Love it.

Jumoo, I'm sorry to hear about Molly. I'm glad she had a good home after her rough beginnings.

Welcome Dischick! I enjoyed the Biergarten, too! Liked the furbabies photo. Corgis are such little characters. I think their tail-less appearance is so cute.

Princess Suzanne, I hope you enjoy your trip to Atlanta!

Thanks to everyone who's been posting. I'd love to keep the thread going.

Here's some pixie dust for everyone's weekend! pixiedust:

ReaderGirl :hippie:

[jumoo044]

Hi, Readergirl!
I hear what you're saying, I feel that way too, sometimes. Like, when I'm old, no one will be there to take care of me. But then I think, having children is no guarantee that you wont still end up in a nursing home, all alone with no visitors! It happens all the time. Besides, do I really want my kids to came visit me on Sundays or whatever, checking their watches and rolling their eyes? No way!

[j-jhall]

Just wanted to say hi, and to the kind person who started this, thank you. Due to my wife's endometriosis, our only options are IVF and adoption. IVF is so expensive, and we decided to move on. We are blesses to have lots of nieces and nephews and "adopted" nieces and nephews who love their Uncle Jim and Aunt Janice.

Disney is definitely a fun place for us and holds a lot of memories especially for me. I will post more later, and tell you some of my favorite things to do there.

Have a great day!

[ReaderGirl]

Hi everyone! :sunny: Had a bit of trouble posting; hope you don't get this twice.

How is everyone doing?
Jumoo, thanks for the kind words.
Jim, welcome! :donald: We're happy to hear from you. I'm the thread starter, and I'm delighted that people are showing up! It's easy to feel like the odd one out in the sea of parents and kids.

I don't know if anyone else has noticed, but our current culture is sort of into parent worshipping. One example is "Hollywood Moms" (!) constantly on the covers of tabloids, sporting kids like fashion accessories. I'm old enough to remember when parenthood wasn't quite so heralded as The Thing to Do.

Book talk: I'm currently listening to an audiobook called In Defense of Food, by Michael Pollack, author of the bestselling Omnivore's Dilemma. I'm also browsing lots of knitting books, looking for inspiration! How about you?

Disney talk: Interestingly, I think Disney is a great place to be kid-free. While I so enjoy watching the little kids meeting the characters, I've never looked at the children and their parents at Disney and felt like I missing something. On the contrary, both my husband and I commented on the stressed-out looks on the parents' faces. They definitely didn't look like they were enjoying themselves.

Got a present for you. Here are two feel good articles, containing real research, which show that childless women fare quite well. Enjoy!
http://www.physorg.com/news97774048.html
http://news.ufl.edu/2003/04/17/childlessness/

Everyone take care!
ReaderGirl :hippie:

[ReaderGirl]

Hey all. :flower1:

I know we're all childless (and moving on), and chat on that topic is always welcome, but I'd love some pure Disney chat, too. :smickey:

Haven't been to WDW in a while, might go to Mousefest (December) or my husband and I might celebrate our birthdays there in the fall.

I love to eat in restaurants,and especially enjoy the Disney restaurants... What was your favorite restaurant experience in Disney, and why? Was it the food, the atmosphere? What were your least fav dining experiences and why?

So far (!), my favorite restaurant experiences at Disney were...
1. Crystal Palace (MK). I really loved the food. There was a good mix of healthy choices and fun food, and while many complain about buffet style service, I like it. You can pick and choose a little bit of so many different foods. It was delightful watching the Pooh gang run around, too.
2. Biergarten (Epcot). The food was a little too sausage-and-beer for me (though my husband loved it), but the atmosphere was fun, and the people we sat with were super nice, which of course made it an even better meal.

Least fav was probably the restaurant in Norway (Epcot). The staff seemed unenthusiastic and annoyed, but maybe they were having a bad day.

I'd like to try Le Cellier (Canada), Boma (Animal Kingdom Lodge), Raglan Road (Downtown), among others.

Hmm.... now I'm hungry....
ReaderGirl :hippie:

[j-jhall]

My favorite places are Le Cellier, California Grill for the fireworks along with Narcoosees, and Crystal Palace for early breakfast. With CP early ADR you feel like a VIP walking down Main Street with only a few people with you. I have pictures of us with the castle in the background and nobody else around. How often do you get that?

[PrincessSuzanne]

Sorry, I have been away a few days, I got violently ill Sunday night after eating some shrimp and I stayed home from work on Monday, cause I still felt bad. Then I got sent home early last night because the system went down and since I can't call patients after 9pm, there was nothing for me to do, but I still have to make up that time and that stinks.

I love :love: to talk Disney, all day everyday. I just love to eat, especially at Disney. Chef Mickey's is my moms favorite breakfast. We aren't big supper eaters at WDW, we prefer the CS restaurants for supper. We really like CP especially before park opening, just like j-jhall said, and Boma Bkfst was out of this world. I really enjoyed O'hana for Dh's birthday last year, but it wasn't great on my birthday this year. I don't have just one favorite. I love turkey legs, the popcorn, the popsicles, and candy apples. I may have missed something, but I can't remember what.

I do however have one I don't like and that was Cantina de San Angel at Epcot, the food was awful. We thought what we were getting was a taco salad, but it had no taco shell or bowl, all it had was grilled chicken, lettuce and cheese, talk about dry and nasty. I don't like the new chicke nuggets they have instead of the chicken strips. I loved those chicken strips and would even have cravings for them.

We are going to try some different places in December and I am looking forward to that.

You know most of the time, I don't even notice the children at WDW. I did this last time, I guess because of having my cousin with us. I was really glad we didn't have any, I wouldn't be able to have any fun :rotfl2: That may sound wrong, but that is the point I am in my life, I am ready to enjoy myself and my DH and what others call our "freedom". Although having a child wouldn't stop me from doing what I want to do, my mom did it, why can't I? She was a single parent, too. She did have her parents that helped though, but they didn't take me over.

Suzanne

[ReaderGirl]

Hey everybody! :flower:

Princess Suzanne, sorry to hear you got sick. :sick: Hope you're feeling better and having a nice weekend! I'm a turkey leg muncher, too.

I've noticed that some people rave about Dole Whips; I haven't tried 'em yet.

Jim, I love the Crystal Palace photo of you and your wife. We had breakfast there once, and it was so fun to see Magic Kingdom's Main Street come alive in the morning. In addition to the food at the CP (and Pooh and friends are always fun pooh: ), I just love the way the place looks. It's so bright and airy. Super cheerful.

My husband and I were thinking of going to WDW in November, for our birthdays, but now I see that Typhoon Lagoon will closed then. I've been so wanting to try Typhoon Lagoon. Oh well, can't do everything.

:moped:
Everyone take care,
ReaderGirl :hippie:

[ReaderGirl]

DisChick, you still out there? :boat:

I have to comment on your refillable mug surplus... I love the mugs! I use mine at Starbucks. It's a fun way to go -- you get to feel virtuous for avoiding more disposables, and you find out who the Disney fans in the cafe are! They usually start squealing "Oh, you go to Disney toooooo!!!!" It's fun.

ReaderGirl
:hippie:

[j-jhall]

Hey everybody! :flower:

Princess Suzanne, sorry to hear you got sick. :sick: Hope you're feeling better and having a nice weekend! I'm a turkey leg muncher, too.

I've noticed that some people rave about Dole Whips; I haven't tried 'em yet.

Jim, I love the Crystal Palace photo of you and your wife. We had breakfast there once, and it was so fun to see Magic Kingdom's Main Street come alive in the morning. In addition to the food at the CP (and Pooh and friends are always fun pooh: ), I just love the way the place looks. It's so bright and airy. Super cheerful.

My husband and I were thinking of going to WDW in November, for our birthdays, but now I see that Typhoon Lagoon will closed then. I've been so wanting to try Typhoon Lagoon. Oh well, can't do everything.

:moped:
Everyone take care,
ReaderGirl :hippie:
Thanks for the compliment. Pooh insisted that we get a picture of us together and he had one of the servers take it. My wife's boss told us to get the early breakfast at CP so you can get into the park early. Can't wait until this year!

[aclov]

I've also posted on the other "child-free" thread and although I've had a very hard time with infertility I have decided to move on and just accept God's will. I'm 36 and DH is 37, we've been married for 8 years and ttc for 7 years. I've had numerous IUI's and two IVF's which were unsuccessful. DH is not warm on the adoption front and we really can't afford it. We have two doggies and are DVC members.

It's good to hear from a group of people that understand, it seems that everywhere I go, people are just amazed that we don't have children and than the questions start. Sometimes the comments can be hurtful.....lots of ignorant people out there.:sad2:

[j-jhall]

I've also posted on the other "child-free" thread and although I've had a very hard time with infertility I have decided to move on and just accept God's will. I'm 36 and DH is 37, we've been married for 8 years and ttc for 7 years. I've had numerous IUI's and two IVF's which were unsuccessful. DH is not warm on the adoption front and we really can't afford it. We have two doggies and are DVC members.

It's good to hear from a group of people that understand, it seems that everywhere I go, people are just amazed that we don't have children and than the questions start. Sometimes the comments can be hurtful.....lots of ignorant people out there.:sad2:

Welcome! I can relate to some of what you said there. It's nice to have this outlet and talk about one of our favorite subjects with people who can relate!

[Leger13]

Hi Leger, yes I am from the other thread and it really is time to move on. I think it is making me stronger. It really might make me very strong after our December trip to WDW with my cousin and her sister and 3 children (10, 6, & 3). the 6 year old has Autism and might be a challenge. We normally take my mom, so we aren't really use to a DH and me trip, that only happended once. Was hoping to surprise him for his 30 b-day in August, but can't see that happening.

I am planning that big trip in December. We had decided to take this trip as soon as we got back from our December 2006 trip, so I have been planning it since then, plus we added a trip in June 07, Aug 07, Dec 07, and June 08. Haven't started planning anything for 2009 yet, but just might soon. My cousin decided in April that she wanted to go and take her 3 children since she was getting a huge child support back payment, so we have added them. She has a heart condition and can't take them alone, because she can't ride much and she knows the 6 year old will want to ride everything. Plus, she can't stand the heat. Smart me decided to stay at a different resort than she will be at though. At first we were at AS Music Fam Suites, then added her to a regular room there, it got my juices flowing and decided to move to WL and she moved to Pop, which is better for everyone. Her oldest (10) will stay with us, since she has an AP and will stay the 2 extra days we are staying.

I'm glad to hear that moving on is making you stronger. It is helping me as well. Going to WDW with 3 kids and one has autism...you are a brave soul. I'm sure you all will have fun still....will just have to go through the parks slower. Sounds like you've been planning that trip for quite a while though. I think as soon as I get back from WDW in September I'll be planning my '09 trip too. I just can't resist. Plus if they offer the bounce back free dining offer again I'm not sure I'll be able to resist that either.

Hi everybody! :wave2:

I'm glad you're still here! I got swept up in lots of things going on around here -- everything happened at once! Anyway, I'm back in circulation. :moped:

Thanks to everyone who posted pet photos. :dogdance:

Warning: a little glum ahead...
I've been feeling my kidless state lately. I can go for a while and not be aware of it, but then suddenly I'm in a situation in which everyone is talking about their kids, and it's just awkward, you know? People occasionally ask "Why don't you have kids?" There is no good answer to that question. (And of course, it's none of their business.) If I say "We couldn't have kids", then they sometimes start promoting adoption. (By the way, I have a friend who was approved to adopt a little girl from China. She set up an adorable room for her... and then nothing happened -- she's been waiting for 3 years! It's so sad.)

I think that sometimes my childlessness feels more important when I'm feeling, well... old. I'm only 45, I'm very active, I bike, I hike, I take dance classes, but some days, it gets harder than others. And I do worry occasionally... will I be a lonely elderly person since I won't have kids and grandkids to check in on me? On the other hand, I often enjoy my solitude. And lots of people with kids don't get as many visits as they'd like.

Okay, thanks for letting me get that out of my system! :grouphug:
:idea: I know, I'll watch that new tv show, Baby Borrowers! That'll cure me!

It's been a beautiful week, weather-wise. My husband and I are going biking in the morning. Then maybe we'll head to a pool to recuperate! And I think we're going out for breakfast on Sunday. I'm a brunchaholic. Love it.

Oh that reminds me that I still need to post pictures of my doggies here. Doh!

I'm sorry you were having a gloomy day. I think we all have those days and we are allowed. I've read that dealing with the fact that you will never have children is like mourning the loss of a loved one. And in many ways I feel that is so true. Even in the way that others treat you. As soon as you say, "oh we can't have children" they immediately start apologizing and finding some way of changing the subject. Or they say something about adoption like you said. I hope you are feeling better this week!

Hi everyone! :sunny: Had a bit of trouble posting; hope you don't get this twice.

How is everyone doing?

I don't know if anyone else has noticed, but our current culture is sort of into parent worshipping. One example is "Hollywood Moms" (!) constantly on the covers of tabloids, sporting kids like fashion accessories. I'm old enough to remember when parenthood wasn't quite so heralded as The Thing to Do.

Book talk: I'm currently listening to an audiobook called In Defense of Food, by Michael Pollack, author of the bestselling Omnivore's Dilemma. I'm also browsing lots of knitting books, looking for inspiration! How about you?

Disney talk: Interestingly, I think Disney is a great place to be kid-free. While I so enjoy watching the little kids meeting the characters, I've never looked at the children and their parents at Disney and felt like I missing something. On the contrary, both my husband and I commented on the stressed-out looks on the parents' faces. They definitely didn't look like they were enjoying themselves.

Got a present for you. Here are two feel good articles, containing real research, which show that childless women fare quite well. Enjoy!
http://www.physorg.com/news97774048.html
http://news.ufl.edu/2003/04/17/childlessness/

Everyone take care!
ReaderGirl :hippie:

Yeah I've noticed how Hollywood is romanticizing parenting. Like it's the thing to do right now! They flaunt their kids like it's a designer purse or something. It's sad really. I read in my OK magazine last week that Angie and Brad (who are expecting twins any day now) are adopting another baby. :scared1: I'm not sure why they are doing it but I really have a feeling it's for the publicity.

I'm not big on books so I'll skip to the Disney talk. I think WDW is a great place to be kid free too. I've never looked at a family and wished that was me because the parents always look so flustered. I pass by a screaming child and am glad I'm not the one that has to deal with it. Although, I'm sure I'd deal just fine and I know it's different when it is your own child but I'm fine being able to enjoy WDW without that stuff.

And thanks for those articles. It's nice to know!

Hey all. :flower1:

I know we're all childless (and moving on), and chat on that topic is always welcome, but I'd love some pure Disney chat, too. :smickey:

Haven't been to WDW in a while, might go to Mousefest (December) or my husband and I might celebrate our birthdays there in the fall.

I love to eat in restaurants,and especially enjoy the Disney restaurants... What was your favorite restaurant experience in Disney, and why? Was it the food, the atmosphere? What were your least fav dining experiences and why?

So far (!), my favorite restaurant experiences at Disney were...
1. Crystal Palace (MK). I really loved the food. There was a good mix of healthy choices and fun food, and while many complain about buffet style service, I like it. You can pick and choose a little bit of so many different foods. It was delightful watching the Pooh gang run around, too.
2. Biergarten (Epcot). The food was a little too sausage-and-beer for me (though my husband loved it), but the atmosphere was fun, and the people we sat with were super nice, which of course made it an even better meal.

Least fav was probably the restaurant in Norway (Epcot). The staff seemed unenthusiastic and annoyed, but maybe they were having a bad day.

I'd like to try Le Cellier (Canada), Boma (Animal Kingdom Lodge), Raglan Road (Downtown), among others.

Hmm.... now I'm hungry....
ReaderGirl :hippie:

I hope you get to take your trip in december like you want. I've never been at that time of year but I've heard it's fantastic.

My favorite place to eat is LTT for sure. It's so homey and good comfort food. I even love the character dinner which I've heard they are getting rid of in January :sad2:

The worst dining experiance I had at WDW was last year on my birthday. We went to Concorse Steakhouse and the service was terrible! We had to wait forever for our food and once we got it it tasted terrible! They never did anything special for my birthday either. I was very upset. We ended up taking the chocolate cake we got for desert back to our resort. It was delicious but that was the only good thing about the entire experience. I'm so glad they've replaced that restaurant.

[ReaderGirl]

Hey everybody! :flower3:

We all would have made great parents, we would have enjoyed having kids, but since we're not going in that direction...
you've gotta read this!! It's a very positive article about being childless.

Enjoy!
http://www.newsweek.com/id/143792

Will chat more later -- gotta run! :moped:
ReaderGirl :hippie:

[PrincessSuzanne]

I've also posted on the other "child-free" thread and although I've had a very hard time with infertility I have decided to move on and just accept God's will. I'm 36 and DH is 37, we've been married for 8 years and ttc for 7 years. I've had numerous IUI's and two IVF's which were unsuccessful. DH is not warm on the adoption front and we really can't afford it. We have two doggies and are DVC members.

It's good to hear from a group of people that understand, it seems that everywhere I go, people are just amazed that we don't have children and than the questions start. Sometimes the comments can be hurtful.....lots of ignorant people out there.:sad2:


Hi Aclov, long time no "see". How have you been?

I hate when someone says something about not having children, cause I am not a nice person about it, but I think me being firm and not so nice keeps me from breaking down. It has gotten easier, except for May, I had a hard time and even broke down in my GYN's office, because I was surrounded by pregnant women. I think it was a hormonal imbalance, cause she gave me those Seasonique BC pills and I am like a new woman. No period for 3 months is a great thing too. I hate having one anyway, so the less I have the better.

I had to have a Colposcopy on Thursday afternoon, so I hope everything turns out alright with that. My Gyn feels like it was nothing, but she wanted to be sure. I should know something by the middle of the week. Even though she says she feels it is nothing, I always picture bad things in the back of my mind, but she reassured me afterwards.

Well, my mom finally sold our old house and DH, mom, and I spent the weekend finishing up the packing and moving boxes to storage. Now if we could just find some help moving the furniture, we would be A-ok. DH's supposed friend was supposed to help (he has a truck), but backed out Saturday morning (shoulda known, he is the type). I am so angry at him and told Dh he better stay away from him (long story). So, I am stuck not knowing how to move the furniture with no help and we have to be completely out by Sunday. I was supposed to take mom to buy a car on Saturday, but don't know if that will happen, I will probably be helping DH move the furniture.

Well, I better get back to work, talk at you later :thumbsup2

Suzanne

[PrincessSuzanne]

Hey everybody! :flower3:

We all would have made great parents, we would have enjoyed having kids, but since we're not going in that direction...
you've gotta read this!! It's a very positive article about being childless.

Enjoy!
http://www.newsweek.com/id/143792

Will chat more later -- gotta run! :moped:
ReaderGirl :hippie:


That was a great article. Now, I don't feel so much like an old maid or is that an old hag. I think I probably do enjoy life more and have more freedom without children. Certainly going through all those medical procedures to have a baby didn't make for a very good time, so being childless is better :cloud9:

Suzanne

[ReaderGirl]

:flower1:
Hi Leger! Glad you stopped by to say "Hello!" I have never been to the Liberty Tree Tavern. I've heard only good things, though.
My husband and I "discovered" Disney only about six years ago, so we still have so many places we'd like to try. We never made it to the Adventurer's Club, and now I've read that it's closing. It'll be interesting to see what they do with Downtown Disney next.
Everyone take care!
ReaderGirl :surfweb:

[Leger13]

:flower1:
Hi Leger! Glad you stopped by to say "Hello!" I have never been to the Liberty Tree Tavern. I've heard only good things, though.
My husband and I "discovered" Disney only about six years ago, so we still have so many places we'd like to try. We never made it to the Adventurer's Club, and now I've read that it's closing. It'll be interesting to see what they do with Downtown Disney next.
Everyone take care!
ReaderGirl :surfweb:

thanks ReaderGirl. This will be the first time my DH and I get to go to Adventurer's Club and the Comedy Warehouse. You should definately try LTT. Love that resturant. Check out www.screamscape.com for lots of good Disney rumors and to read about what they are doing with Pleasure Island.

[kisobel]

i just stumbled over this thread and feel like i've come home. hi i'm kate(40) and my husband is todd(42). we have been married for 5years and had been trying to have kids right from the start. we stopped trying 2years ago. i was only willing to go so far in the assisted reproductive end. i'm a nurse and i work in labor and delivery. i see all the time older women trying to have babies and having all sorts of complications. i am already at risk with chronic hypertension so i choose not to continue on. my husband has been very supportive but it definetly put a strain on us for a few years. its better lately but it hasn't gotten back to how we used to be. we are lucky to have 10 nieces and nephews- i say lucky now but at the time it was very frustrating to watch all my friends and family having babies right and left.

i thought i was doing ok with the moving on part. but something happened last week. we happened to be at a restauant with some of my husband coworkers. a very casual affair. one of his coworkers showed up for dessert and brought her 3 year old with her. not a big deal. but while we were waiting for the check, she leans over to me and says "aren't you ready for one yet". people say the dumbest things. i barely know this women and i'm not about to discuss all we went through and how we have chosen to stop trying. i was bothered for hours after this. so i guess i still have some baggage.

on the disney side, we went last year to celebrate my 40th birthday and had a blast. we have another trip planned for this oct and i'm going with some women from my work in jan. our favorite restauant was O'Hana's- we rolled out of there- stuffed to the seams.


we recently (two weeks ago) bought our first home, and are settling in. we have 3 cats- 2 siamese(willow and savannah) and 1 pound cat(isis). we also have a sheltie named frodo.

sorry for the ramble (and i think there was a rant in there), i work night shift and sometimes get lost in the topics.

kate

[Leger13]

i just stumbled over this thread and feel like i've come home. hi i'm kate(40) and my husband is todd(42). we have been married for 5years and had been trying to have kids right from the start. we stopped trying 2years ago. i was only willing to go so far in the assisted reproductive end. i'm a nurse and i work in labor and delivery. i see all the time older women trying to have babies and having all sorts of complications. i am already at risk with chronic hypertension so i choose not to continue on. my husband has been very supportive but it definetly put a strain on us for a few years. its better lately but it hasn't gotten back to how we used to be. we are lucky to have 10 nieces and nephews- i say lucky now but at the time it was very frustrating to watch all my friends and family having babies right and left.

i thought i was doing ok with the moving on part. but something happened last week. we happened to be at a restauant with some of my husband coworkers. a very casual affair. one of his coworkers showed up for dessert and brought her 3 year old with her. not a big deal. but while we were waiting for the check, she leans over to me and says "aren't you ready for one yet". people say the dumbest things. i barely know this women and i'm not about to discuss all we went through and how we have chosen to stop trying. i was bothered for hours after this. so i guess i still have some baggage.

on the disney side, we went last year to celebrate my 40th birthday and had a blast. we have another trip planned for this oct and i'm going with some women from my work in jan. our favorite restauant was O'Hana's- we rolled out of there- stuffed to the seams.


we recently (two weeks ago) bought our first home, and are settling in. we have 3 cats- 2 siamese(willow and savannah) and 1 pound cat(isis). we also have a sheltie named frodo.

sorry for the ramble (and i think there was a rant in there), i work night shift and sometimes get lost in the topics.

kate

Hi there and welcome. People really do say the darnedest things like every woman who is married should have a baby by such and such a time. People that can procreate easily just don't have a 2nd thought about butting their nose in there about children. When you are struggling it is hard to remember that they just don't understand. I hope you re-gain your strength.

I'm glad to hear that O'hana's is good...I am going there for the first time in September :goodvibes

[j-jhall]

The hardest time that we have is how many "oops" babies we have in our family. Don't get me wrong, we love our niece's and nephew's, but each time an unplanned, out of wedlock pregnancy happens it just re-opens wounds for us.

[Donald&Tinkerbell]

I, too, have posted on the other thread. We moved on in 1991, and have been married almost 30 years. I'm 55 and I can tell you after a certain age, the rude questions slow down. I have to say, I'm mean. I just say "We couldn't have children" & let the bomb explode on them. They should be embarassed for being so rude. Now a lot of people just assume we're empty nesters. DH's favorite place on earth is DW and we go as often as we can. Our favorite resort is Boardwalk although now that my Mom is gone, we can't justify the expense. It has bigger rooms and is more comfortable for 3 adults, and handy when she was on a scooter. Our favorite restaurant is Flying Fish.

I think we do avoid one danger, a lot of marriages dissolve because the couples get so wrapped up in the kids & their activities, they don't continue to take care of their own relationships. We don't have that distraction as long as we can adjust to what will not be and try to live the best life we can with what we are dealt.

[PrincessSuzanne]

i just stumbled over this thread and feel like i've come home. hi i'm kate(40) and my husband is todd(42). we have been married for 5years and had been trying to have kids right from the start. we stopped trying 2years ago. i was only willing to go so far in the assisted reproductive end. i'm a nurse and i work in labor and delivery. i see all the time older women trying to have babies and having all sorts of complications. i am already at risk with chronic hypertension so i choose not to continue on. my husband has been very supportive but it definetly put a strain on us for a few years. its better lately but it hasn't gotten back to how we used to be. we are lucky to have 10 nieces and nephews- i say lucky now but at the time it was very frustrating to watch all my friends and family having babies right and left.

i thought i was doing ok with the moving on part. but something happened last week. we happened to be at a restauant with some of my husband coworkers. a very casual affair. one of his coworkers showed up for dessert and brought her 3 year old with her. not a big deal. but while we were waiting for the check, she leans over to me and says "aren't you ready for one yet". people say the dumbest things. i barely know this women and i'm not about to discuss all we went through and how we have chosen to stop trying. i was bothered for hours after this. so i guess i still have some baggage.

on the disney side, we went last year to celebrate my 40th birthday and had a blast. we have another trip planned for this oct and i'm going with some women from my work in jan. our favorite restauant was O'Hana's- we rolled out of there- stuffed to the seams.


we recently (two weeks ago) bought our first home, and are settling in. we have 3 cats- 2 siamese(willow and savannah) and 1 pound cat(isis). we also have a sheltie named frodo.

sorry for the ramble (and i think there was a rant in there), i work night shift and sometimes get lost in the topics.

kate


Hello, and welcome. Another night shifter here and I really only get ot Dis when I am at work, so don't tell on me :laughing:

People have finally quit asking. My cousin that has 3 tells me all the time how lucky I am not to have to deal with them. Her oldest DD is 10, DS with Autism is 6, and the youngest DD is 3 going on 30. I am glad I am not the mother to her 3, because I would be a crazy person, but I do love them to death and they are better behaved when they are with me, too :confused3 Guess they have heard my "BIG" voice, as the 3 year old calls it, more than once.

I don't know how you di it working in Labor and Delivery, I shutter when I have to go to LDRP to see a pt, especially the ones that are under 17. I have even seen some as young as 13. There was even a set of 14 year old twins that had babies a month apart.

Congratulations on the new house, DH and I bought our first and last home in October. I will NEVER live anywhere else. We still haven't even completely moved all of our stuff in, but hopefully by the end of the summer.


The hardest time that we have is how many "oops" babies we have in our family. Don't get me wrong, we love our niece's and nephew's, but each time an unplanned, out of wedlock pregnancy happens it just re-opens wounds for us.

My cousin that has the 3, the oldest and youngest were oops and the second was an attmept to save her marriage baby. It is hard to feel that way now, since I do love them so much, but it was hard especially because I was doing my IUI's when the #3 oops popped up, she was lying to all of us, but my mom cornered her one day and questioned her until she caved and I almost killed her with my bare hands, she avoided me like the plague until after miss grown up was born, then I just had to go see her and squish her a little.

I have another cousin that has 2 oops babies and I am so glad she doesn't live near me and we don't speak, so it was a little easier to deal with. Her second is very sick, so I feel she got what she deserves, no offense to the baby it doesn't deserve to live the life it is going to if is lives, but I wish it had better parents that would give it the care it needs.


I, too, have posted on the other thread. We moved on in 1991, and have been married almost 30 years. I'm 55 and I can tell you after a certain age, the rude questions slow down. I have to say, I'm mean. I just say "We couldn't have children" & let the bomb explode on them. They should be embarassed for being so rude. Now a lot of people just assume we're empty nesters. DH's favorite place on earth is DW and we go as often as we can. Our favorite resort is Boardwalk although now that my Mom is gone, we can't justify the expense. It has bigger rooms and is more comfortable for 3 adults, and handy when she was on a scooter. Our favorite restaurant is Flying Fish.

I think we do avoid one danger, a lot of marriages dissolve because the couples get so wrapped up in the kids & their activities, they don't continue to take care of their own relationships. We don't have that distraction as long as we can adjust to what will not be and try to live the best life we can with what we are dealt.


Welcome to the club. I am glad most of the questions have stopped for us. I don't even really have time to have a baby anymore, so I guess that is one reasons I have moved on. DH doens't really care one way or the other, actually he likes having me to himself, he is even jealous when I keep or let one of the cousin's children stay over, but he will have to get over that, cause they are mine as much as they are their mother's. He is getting better with that a little as they get older.

My mom goes to Disney with us on most of our trips, DH and I have been once without her. I wanted to take him on a surprise 30th birthday trip in August, but since we are taking a long trip in December, we couldn't justify an August trip.

Mom is taking me and a friend of mine from work to Destin for the labor day weekend for a girls weekend trip, DH doesn't know yet :rolleyes1

DH and I have had many ups and downs in the last 3 years and he walked out on me twice, but now since I have let alot go, we are doing much better. I think things will get even better as the years go on. He and my mom have spats several times a week, but maybe I can eventually break that, if my mom wouldn't only keep her comments to herself and DH would keep his to himself :sad2: :upsidedow

Better get back to work.

Suzanne

[ReaderGirl]

:welcome: Hey! Welcome to Aclov, Kisobel Kate, and Donald & Tinkerbell.
So glad you stopped in! :wave:

Aclov, I know what you mean about adoption; it's not for everyone. I've met people who have wonderful adoption stories, and I've met people with adoption stories that are quite sad and sometimes truly scary. We each have to do what's right for us. BTW, it sounds like you and I are running into the same people with their inappropriate questions!

Kisobel, congrats on getting a house. I think not getting too much house is always a wise idea. Your dog's name made me smile. My husband is a Tolkien nut.

Tinkerbell, I think just being upfront with inquisitive people is probably a good approach. It leaves the person who asked the inappropriate question holding the bag, instead of you. I'm hesitant though, because in my case, sometimes people respond by acting like they feel sorry for me, and i *hate* that! I want to say "No, no, I have a fantastic, meaningful life. So we don't have kids. Sometimes it's been hard, but it's not a tragedy!! We do good things, and we have fun, too."

Speaking of having fun, the DH and I are headed to a Fourth of July party on Friday, and we're going to have a weekend of hiking &/or biking, followed by floating around our favorite local pool. I love summer! :flower1:

Happy Fourth everybody!! :moped:
ReaderGirl

[kisobel]

thanks for the warm welcome. too tired to talk about much else.


kate

[If U Had Wings]

Hi!:hippie:
I've been lurking on this thread for awhile, but have been shy to post myself. My story is a bit different from everyone else's. I've always wanted to have my own family, but at age 37 I'm still single and childless. At this point, I've pretty much resigned myself that this is my future. I know that is nowhere near the same as being physically unable to have children, but it still something that permeates my life.

I am lucky enough to have two wonderful nieces that I adore and get to spoil with love and affection. Sometimes however being with them makes me feel even more sad and depressed. I find myself at their birthday parties or other events seeing all the happy kids and their parents and find I need to disappear for awhile. I hate myself for feeling this way, when I know I've been gifted by getting to have them in my life.

Family events are a different kind of torture. I'm the only childless one in my generation, and definitely sense a different attitude towards me from my cousins. One of my uncles told me the family had "given up on me" and my nieces are always asking why I don't have kids too.

I have also found myself drawing away from many of my friends with kids, because it's too painful sometimes. Again I hate myself for doing it, but I'm not always up for putting on the happy face.

Oddly enough the sad feelings don't overwhelm me as much at Disney as much as they do at home. Maybe it's the kids having meltdowns that does it. :) My new favorite restaurant is the Hollywood Brown Derby. I ate there for the first time last year and really loved it. It felt miles away from the park and was a welcome escape. I also love the 50's prime Time cafe due to the theming and the fact that I can get real cherry cokes there.

I am also a voracious reader, although I haven't read much lately. I've been so tired I've been falling asleep before I could get anything read.

[PrincessSuzanne]

If U Had Wings, welcome to our group. I always thought I was going to be single and when I stopped looking Dh came along and I was 27 and he was 22. I had always said that if I wasn't married by the time I was 30, I was going to try to have a baby anyway and I would have tried to, just as I did after we married.

I just don't care for family members that treat you that way, I have no use for them at all. would love to hear what my family has to say, because they have never said anything to me directly, but I am sure they must have something to say. I certainly wouldn't hold back what I would have to say to them. In fact, it is because of my aunt and uncles greediness that my mom won't be able to loan us the money to adopt. I will always hate them for that.

My cousin that is close in proximity to us says that we are lucky. She has 3 ages 10, 6, and 3 and they give her as good as she gave her mom. Her mother always told her her kids would be 10 times worse than she ever thought of being and they certainly are.

All of my friends are close to my moms age and their children are grown and have babies.

I guess Disney is a great escape for all of us. I am really looking forward to our trip in December, just wish it would get here quicker. I want to ge before then, but we can't.

Suzanne

[If U Had Wings]

Thanks for the welcome! :)

If I was a bit more financially stable I would seriously consider trying to have a baby anyways. As it is my work day runs about 12 hrs. door to door, and money is usually an issue. I just don't think it would be fair to any baby. Plus after having a few medical issues about a year or so ago, my doctor informed me that having a baby would probably be difficult for me anyways.

I try to focus on the nieces.

[PrincessSuzanne]

Thanks for the welcome! :)

If I was a bit more financially stable I would seriously consider trying to have a baby anyways. As it is my work day runs about 12 hrs. door to door, and money is usually an issue. I just don't think it would be fair to any baby. Plus after having a few medical issues about a year or so ago, my doctor informed me that having a baby would probably be difficult for me anyways.

I try to focus on the nieces.

Well, you have joined my club. My MD always told me I would have a hard time conceiving, just wished she could have confirmed that for me before we(mom) spent all that money. I feel the same way, it wouldn't be fair for me to leave a baby to go to work and I have to work, as I am the breadwinner in my house. DH truthfully isn't really interested in having a baby anyway, he says he does, but I know he only says it because of me. I work second shift 3-11:30pm, so that would put most of baby duty on my mom and she is getting to a time in her life where she probably wouldn't be able to pick up a baby and DH doesn't get home until after 6pm most nights and it is a fight to get him to feed the dog, cats, and bunnies, so you can imagine how he would feel about a baby.

If I had known then what I know now, I would have saved my (moms) money and bought Disney DVC instead of doing the IUI's and I would have been alot better off, that would have been a sure thing.

Have a great night, I am about to get to go home.

Suzanne

[ReaderGirl]

Hi If U Had Wings! Welcome!! :yay:

If it helps, I got married when I was 38. I assumed that I'd always be single.

Your family should feel lucky -- an aunt without children is the best kind of aunt! She gets to have special relationships with her nieces and nephews, and wouldn't have time if she had her own kids. Sometimes relatives can be so clueless.

Yes, the screaming meltdowns make me feel relieved to be free to enjoy Disney! :tinker:
I haven't been to the 50's Prime Time restaurant, but I'd like to try it. (I don't want to stand in the corner, though!)

Have a great day, and stop by and chat anytime. :surfweb:

I'd love some Disney talk. Princess Suzanne, what's in store for you on your Disney trip in December? Anything special you're going to try that's new to you? I want to go to Disney in November or December, and if we're going to do it, I need to get with it. Unfortunately, my husband has a job which makes it hard for him to get away, which complicates things.

My husband and I are going on vacation in a few weeks, to Florida, but not Disney. We're going to stroll the beach, eat some seafood (a great thrill when you live in the Midwest!), and RELAX. Ahhh.. :cloud9:

Everyone have a good one!
ReaderGirl :hippie:

[PrincessSuzanne]

Hi, just ran across this thread and thought I might try to refresh it. I have been on the Dis, but was planning our Aug and Dec trips, until my life came to a schreeching halt. Mom and I were going to WDW over Labor Day weekend, but she passed away suddenly 5 days before we were to leave. I have been overwhelmed with everything since and didn't Dis for close to a week. I was her only child, so I had to handle everything and that was really hard and just dealing with the loss is difficult. I have so many guilty feelings and don't know how to deal with them. Well, of course one of the biggest guilty feelings is not being able to give her grandchildren, so that is why I turned to you guys.

We have decided to go ahead and take our Christmas trip, she would want us to, especially since 2 of the children have never been and they are young and won't understand.

Sure hope we can all come together again, it was nice to have others to talk to that understand.

Suzanne

[If U Had Wings]

I'm so sorry to hear about your mother. We had an unexpected loss in our family as well right before the holiday. I can't imagine what you are going through.

Taking the Christmas trip sounds like it may be a good idea? Was is normal for you to do Disney at Christmas? If not the change may be the best idea. A friend of mine when after she lost her husband suddenly. She said it was good that she wasn't doing what she typically did for the holiday. Made it a bit easier that she wasn't going on with normal traditions so close to her loss.

Try not to let the no grandchildren get to you. She had you, and I'm sure that you were the world to her.

[CruellaDuVille]

You have to be kidding. WDW is better without kids. Kids tie you down, make you stand in line for Dumbo, limit your shopping and rush you out of all of those awesome restaurants and bars.

I love kids but Disney time without them is my idea of a real walk in the park. :cool1:

[CruellaDuVille]

Just read the last reply....sorry about your mother too.

I lost my sister last year, could not bear the Christmas thing at home, escaped with my immediate family for Christmas at Wilderness Lodge. Good move!!

We had Christmas, it was away from the routine and it saved me from those boxes of memories. Disney got me through that difficult Christmas. It was pensive but tolerable and the decorations at WDW and Wilderness Lodge were tasteful and perfect.

[PrincessSuzanne]

You have to be kidding. WDW is better without kids. Kids tie you down, make you stand in line for Dumbo, limit your shopping and rush you out of all of those awesome restaurants and bars.

I love kids but Disney time without them is my idea of a real walk in the park. :cool1:

You made me laugh. Thank you. We had sorta decided that being childless was better for us, since we do like to just get up and go, but mom didn't let being a single parent stop her from picking me up a going, so I never thought of it as a challenge either.

Just read the last reply....sorry about your mother too.

I lost my sister last year, could not bear the Christmas thing at home, escaped with my immediate family for Christmas at Wilderness Lodge. Good move!!

We had Christmas, it was away from the routine and it saved me from those boxes of memories. Disney got me through that difficult Christmas. It was pensive but tolerable and the decorations at WDW and Wilderness Lodge were tasteful and perfect.

We will actually be home for Christmas, so that will be hard. Thanksgiving will be hard too, because we were just getting back to wanting to celebrate at home since my grandmother passed away 7 years ago. I don't know what we will do, I guess I will cross that bridge when I get there.

Suzanne

[PrincessSuzanne]

I'm so sorry to hear about your mother. We had an unexpected loss in our family as well right before the holiday. I can't imagine what you are going through.

Taking the Christmas trip sounds like it may be a good idea? Was is normal for you to do Disney at Christmas? If not the change may be the best idea. A friend of mine when after she lost her husband suddenly. She said it was good that she wasn't doing what she typically did for the holiday. Made it a bit easier that she wasn't going on with normal traditions so close to her loss.

Try not to let the no grandchildren get to you. She had you, and I'm sure that you were the world to her.

This would have been our 3rd trip in December. It was her favorite time to go and we decided since we are just adults that this would be our Christmas present to each other and DH and I celebrate our December anniversary at that time as well. As I said in another post, we will actually be home for Christmas, just hope I can find a distraction. It will be very difficult for me, I didn't have to share my mom with anyone for 35 years of my life and now that is gone and tearing me up. I am having a hard time adjusting, just to day to day life.

Suzanne

[CruellaDuVille]

You will get through it and you will be stronger for it and your mom, who is very much in your heart and in your memories will be there to help you muddle through. The only magic in this situation is time. Hang in there, Sweetie, and be extra kind to yourself.

[Donald&Tinkerbell]

I've lost both parents now, and guilt over what you did and didn't do and second guessing yourself is normal. Try to, especially at the holidays, to concentrate on the good memories. It will become easier & easier. Remember that your mother loved you and would never want to spoil your holidays, nor would she truly want you to give her grandchildren if you truly felt you were better off not being a parent. She still wants you and your family to be happy. You will find yourself saying many times "Mom would have loved that" and eventually it will bring joy, not tears.

[ReaderGirl]

Hey everybody.

Suzanne, I'm sorry to hear about your mother. I haven't had to contend with that loss yet. It must hit hard.

Can't chat long. I'm going to go watch the prez on tv and see what he says about the economy. :confused3

ReaderGirl :hippie:

[ReaderGirl]

One more quick post...
I just looked at photos of the Not So Scary Halloween Party on allearsnet.com, and I would so love to go!

I love Halloween, and I think seeing all the decorations would be the best!
The Headless Horseman at the beginning of the MK parade looks impressive.

ReaderGirl, sitting in Illinois waiting on the prez, wishing she were looking forward to an October trip to WDW! :surfweb:

[PrincessSuzanne]

Hi Readergirl,

Well, I will report back next week about the MNSSHP, we are going on Friday night. I am really looking forward to it and getting away from everything. It has been a really hard 4 weeks and I need this trip. We have never been to MNSSHP, but we love MVMCP.

I am most excited about the Headless Horseman and Hallowishes.

Hope the prez has something good to say.

Suzanne

[Leger13]

Hi everyone, sorry I've been MIA for a while. I haven't had a chance to catch up but I did see the few posts about MNSSHP.

I just wanted to say that I went last year and again the week before last and both times were fantastic. The parade is one of the best I have seen by far and so are the fire works. Suzanne, I recommend staying and watching the 2nd parade instead of the first scheduled one. There will be less of a crowd and you will be able to enjoy it more. We watched the first parade and then the fire works right after that last year and the crowd was just horrendous. But this year we watched the fire works and then the 2nd parade and it was great. Seems like most of the crowd decided to hit the road once they saw the fire works. :thumbsup2

Anyways, thems my two cents for the day. Hope everyone is doing well. I am currently :sick: with a really bad cold. But other than that and the Gas shortage here in Georgia we are doing fine. :thumbsup2

[ReaderGirl]

Leger, I'm sooo envious. It sounds like it was wonderful.

Suzanne, I'm hoping for a big report when you get back. And hang in there. Here's some p.d. for your trip... pixiedust:

The weather is beautiful here today (Illinois). Hope it holds for a while... I love the sun! :sunny:

ReaderGirl :hippie:

[ReaderGirl]

How are you doing, Princess Suzanne?
How did the trip go?
I would LOVE to go to Disney for Halloween!
(One of these days. And I want to try a cruise, too...)

Hey to everyone else, too! Hope you're all doing well. :surfweb:

Way off topic -- Last night I watched Cranford on dvd (a BBC Masterpiece Theater program, starring Judi Dench). If you like "gentle" period pieces, it's a good one.

ReaderGirl :hippie:

[Disney Darling]

Hi! I'm hoping to talk to other "Moving On-ers"! :moped:

My husband and I both love Disney. The first time I visited, I was amazed by how many fun things there were for adults to do. Having said that, I thoroughly enjoyed the very "non-adult" character breakfast at the Crystal Palace! There are so many things at Disney that I want to explore....
we've never been to the water parks,
I want to go to the Adventurer's Club,
I'd love to eat at Boma...
well, that's just a start.

Here is a potpourri of topics I'd love to hear about from others who, like me, are childless but didn't really choose it, and have decided to move on (hey, I'm 45, it isn't going to happen).
1. How you coped with childlessness that you didn't choose, and how you've moved on, or are moving on.
2. Do you think being childless has helped or hurt your marriage? (Sorry if this is a little too serious!)
3. Your favorite restaurants at Disney. (Unofficial guidebooks always complain about the Disney food, but I love to eat at Disney!)
4. Pets, pets, pets!!

Here's a copy of my post to the childless-not-by-choice thread.
Hi everybody.

My husband and I couldn't have kids, we're 45 now, and it's just not going to happen.

Everyone has such a different approach; everyone is following a different path... I'd be very interested to talk to Disney fans who were unable to have kids, who have decided against adoption for whatever reason, basically, women who, like me, have decided to go forth with a childless life. I know there are lots of women on this thread who are ardently seeking a pregnancy (more power to you!), so this would be a "different take".

There is a childfree by choice thread, and I've posted there sometimes. I get the feeling that the childfree group is a bit younger than I, and (obviously, given my member name!) I'm a stay-home-and-read-a-book sort of girl, not really much of a party girl. And I never said "I want to be childfree"; it just sort of happened.

I think I'll start a new thread and see if anyone wants to chat. I'll call it Childless and Moving On... how's that sound? Here's a little starter -- I live in the Midwest, love Disney (of course), am married, don't have a dog yet but want one, read voraciously, and (drum roll...) I like to tap dance! I love to travel (especially to warm places when it's 10 degrees in the Midwest).

If you are childless and probably gonna stay that way, please come chat with me!
ReaderGirl :hippie:
P.S. I just finished Confessions of a Jane Austen Addict. Not the best book I ever read, but it was fun.

WOW! I'm so glad I found this thread!

I also have seen the other threads but never felt like I belonged to either of them. Because while we are child-free it certainly wasn't by choice and there are still times when I feel ambivalent towards our lot in life. :rolleyes:
I admit I'll sometimes find myself imagining what life would be like if we had a little one and at other times (most of the time over the past three years :laughing: ) where I've felt, "Thank GOD we don't have kids". It's hard for many people to understand this so I rarely ever talk about these feelings. I guess I keep them locked up inside.

I've seen the Child-free but not by choice thread and while that group seems like a good group of folks they seem to be talking about ttc quite a bit and I don't want to revisit that place again. There was a time when all I did was eat, sleep, breathe baby and looking back, it wasn't healthy on my psychey.

So, here I am. I have been happily married to my best friend for almost 11 years.

In answer to your questions: :)
1. How you coped with childlessness that you didn't choose, and how you've moved on, or are moving on. As I mentioned before, there was a time I eat, breathed, slept baby. I was charting my temperature and holding my butt up in the air until my tailbone went numb. I even tried a "fertility diet". I visited doctors, RE's and even tried adoption. The adoption was so painful because the mom was just using us and in the end she "changed her mind" but I know in my heart, now, that she never intended to give the baby up for adoption. About four years ago, I was diagnosed with stage 3 endometriosis. I've had two surgeries for it. The endo ravished my insides. I lost a tube and ovary. The doctor didn't say I couldn't have children but it hasn't happened and at this time I'm taking birth control pills to control the pain of the endo. I know the turning point in my life. I know the exact moment it happened. I was in WDW at the time. I had just received news that someone extremely close to me was pregnant. I spiraled into a deep depression. Finally, my wonderful DH just wanted to get me out of the situation. He booked a last minute trip to Disney for just some he and me healing time. I was standing on Main Street watching Wishes and DH was standing behind me holding me tight and in that moment I realized that we were a family and that we were good and that if we didn't ever have children it was ok because we were already a whole family. It was in that moment that I gave myself permission to stop trying to grow our family. Recently, DH and I moved away from our families, away from our old friends and old church. We moved several states away and this has been a BLESSING!! It was the best thing we EVER could have done for our lives!! It was like we were stuck on a merry-go-round of same ol', same ol'. Stagnent water if you will. All of our friends were having children (one right after another). We had NO friends that did not have kids. Family was having baby after baby. We didn't know anyone that didn't have kids! In that environment it's NO wonder we felt like failures or like we were missing out or our life wasn't complete! These were the messages we were being fed on a daily basis through family, friends and church.
Since the move, we've become good friends with two other child-free couples. Our one couple-friends' story is amazing. Now, we don't feel like we're incomplete and life doesn't feel so dismal. I feel like we have a purpose again. I'm really sorry for the babbling. It just feels so good to get it out and connect to others who may understand. :grouphug:

2. Do you think being childless has helped or hurt your marriage? (Sorry if this is a little too serious!) I think it's made us stronger and we have a more united front.

3. Your favorite restaurants at Disney. (Unofficial guidebooks always complain about the Disney food, but I love to eat at Disney!) Hhhm, I'm going to go with two places. The Crystal Palace and The Sunshine Food Fair. DH and I are vegetarians and these two places provide a great selection of vegetarian food.

4. Pets, pets, pets!! A dog and a cat.

Thank you for giving me a platform to have a voice. I don't know why I didn't see this thread before. :confused3

[PrincessSuzanne]

Hi Disney Darling, I think I have seen you on the Childless, Not by choice thread. I was there for a while and then moved over here. Those ladies were still TTC a little too much for me too. Dh and I have moved on, even though I still occasionally have an inkling. DH can do something stupid and that inkling passes in a heartbeat.

I may becoming a parent of sorts on Wednesday, depending on the outcome of our court hearing for my 17 year old cousin. Her sister and I have petitioned the court for custody, since my mom's death. Mom had won custody of her last December. She will be 18 on Dec 27, but she still needs a guardian, because the age of majority in AL is 19. Right now, we can't sign for her to get her drivers license (not that she needs it), but we can't sign for anything and I can't even get her child support, because it is still in mom's name.

I need some advice and I think this is the perfect place to ask. I have boxes and boxes of baby clothes and toys mom and I collected when I was TTC and I don't know what to do with them. I also have a VERY expensive stroller and 2 car seats. I really don't want to get rid of them yet, everytime I think about it I get ill, but I know we have really moved past this. Most of the stuff is packed up in the attic, but some of it is still sitting on my living room couch (in boxes of course). I just think I would die all over again if I got rid of it. Just over a year ago, about $2500 worth of baby stuff was stolen out of our storage unit and I still cry about it, because I can remember what was in most of those boxes and it can't be replaced. I don't know what to do, please help.

Suzanne

[ReaderGirl]

Hi Disney Darling! Welcome.

It's *very* helpful to have no-kids friends. First, they get it, and also, people with kids are, naturally, very involved in their children. They don't have much time. Friends without children have more time for friends, and they often treat friends like family.

And hey to a fellow veg. I occasionally go off the wagon, but I very seldom eat meat. I'm an animal lover, and I was thrilled that Prop 2 passed yesterday, improving conditions in California for animals, including farm animals.

Crystal Palace is one of my favorite restaurants.

Finally!!!! DH and I are planning a trip to Disney for the spring. Yes! We are celebrating my health. Last year I was treated for cancer, and I'm so happy to be one of the lucky ones. Re the new Disney theme -- What Will You Celebrate? -- my celebration will be about accomplishment -- I did it. Wish they'd come out with their new promo dvd.

Back to readin'....
ReaderGirl

[ReaderGirl]

WDW has a new promo theme (What Will You Celebrate?),
but still no new promo dvd (just checked again today).
When the new one comes out,
someone give me a heads up!!
ReaderGirl

[Donald&Tinkerbell]

Suzanne, you have to know you are ready to let go of the baby things, but think of these thoughts-Couldn't they be doing more good for a baby in need? And also, don't you need to make room for and make welcome the 17 yo cousin? She's had so much upset in her life, enjoy what you have and who needs you and try to let go of what isn't to be.

But if it hurts to let go, wait until the right time, but do put it in storage and out of sight.

Best wishes for you and your expanded family.

[ArielRae]

Just wanted to pop in and say hi to everyone. DH and I just recently found out that we will be childless. DH is 28 and I am 27. I have a few questions. What does TTC stand for? I know it as the ticket and transportation center but what does it mean here? Also Where is the other childless not by choice thread I heard mentioned in this thread?

[hematite153]

Just wanted to pop in and say hi to everyone. DH and I just recently found out that we will be childless. DH is 28 and I am 27. I have a few questions. What does TTC stand for? I know it as the ticket and transportation center but what does it mean here? Also Where is the other childless not by choice thread I heard mentioned in this thread?

The other thread can be found at: Child-free, but, not by choice (http://www.disboards.com/showthread.php?t=1315669)

TTC stands for trying-to-conceive in TTC circles. The posters on this thread are correct that the other thread is more focused on people who are still trying to have children, or people who finally managed to have children (through many different methods) after many many years of trying, whereas this thread is more filled with people who have accepted that they will remain childless.

[ArielRae]

Thanks for the reply and answering my questions. I think this thread is more for DH and I then the other one. We have tried for 3 years doing treatments and now have accepted that we will be childless. I look forward to future topics here. :goodvibes

[PrincessSuzanne]

Well, hi guys, partying without me I see :rotfl:

Well, I am gonna throw a new topic in the mix: DVC. I am seriously looking into making a purchase into DVC. I think it would be more cost effective for us, since we have been averaging 3 trips a years for the last 2 years (see I could already have it paid for by now) and I already have 2 booked for 2009. I think our first move will be a small re-sale, until I get the rest of my inheritance (sound like a rich person, Huh :snooty:). Well, my mom worked hard for 30 years for Uncle Sam to provide me with a nice cushion after she passed away, obviously not knowing she wouldn't live past 60. I kinda feel like this would be an investment in our futures and that of the the children in the family. I think I have had a chance to really step back and more appreciate the family I have, although I have always appreciated them and family has always come first, I feel they need to more so now, because we never know when our time will be up.

My mom LOVED :love: LOVED Walt Disney World and wasn't able to afford to take me as a child, so I feel very fortunate to have been able to finally take her on her first trip at the age of 57, and we enjoyed 4 additional trips and were actually packing for her 5th trip when she passed. I feel like this is probably meant to be. I feel so close to her when I am there. She and I made up for the many years that we weren't close, because she was a single working mother. She felt very comfortable at WDW, from accommodations to the parades (Spectro being her favorite), to the food and characters.

Are any of you DVC owners? Have any of you seriously considered it? Hematite, I know you are a member, I would love to hear more from those I know.

Now onto other things, I finally got my yard cleaned up, what a relief that is. Now we are hoping to get a new fence around our patio, the current one is rotten, don't know how long it has been there.

Suzanne

[If U Had Wings]

I dream of owning DVC, but won't let myself seriously consider it until I am credit card free. I'm almost there. I want to purchase a very small resale contract that will let me go every year or year and a half and then build from there. Plus I dream of the Boardwalk Inn, so I'll have to go resale. I figure that at the rate I'm going it will more than pay for itself.

[PrincessSuzanne]

I dream of owning DVC, but won't let myself seriously consider it until I am credit card free. I'm almost there. I want to purchase a very small resale contract that will let me go every year or year and a half and then build from there. Plus I dream of the Boardwalk Inn, so I'll have to go resale. I figure that at the rate I'm going it will more than pay for itself.


Well, we have been going 3 times a year for the last 2 years so I am thinking it would be more cost effective to already have accommodations and not have to pay for them each time and we have loved being AP holders and getting a $105 discount to renew each year is awfully attractive along with all of the perks that go with that. I have been looking at a small re-sale at AKV of 50 points and may purchase that and give it a try. I have some more money coming to me in the Spring and it depends on how much I get, I may purchase a larger contract then. I could have probably already paid for one as many times as we have been and all we have spent.

Suzanne

[Disney Darling]

I'm sorry, I've totally been MIA. :sad2: I've been very busy and have been having trouble with my endo . . . AGAIN!! Good Grief!! Will it never end??? They want to do lapro (again) on Dec. 22. It's good because I've already met my deductible and it's good because I have off that week from work but the thought of having to go through this again really gets me down. It's the nature of the beast er disease I guess. :rolleyes:

We do own DVC outright (YEA!!) and we love it! We know we always have a room waiting. When we were annual pass holders, it was nothing for us to get a wild hair and call Disney up one day and be on our way the next. After all, we had park tickets, accomodations were taken care of so no cost there. Generally we took Magical Express to the hotel so no cost there and most times we could get pretty good airline tickets. You have to eat anyway. . . There were times when our weekends to Disney didn't cost anymore than a good time around home. :rotfl:

Since then, we've bought a house and had to do some much needed repairs. We've got a little debt that we're trying to pay off before we go back. We've banked all of this years points into next year so we have 300 points to use on our accomodations. It's been almost two years since we've been there.

In order to stretch out our yearly alloted points, DH and I usually choose an OKW studio for roughly 8-10 points a night but with 300 points to use next year we're planning on splurging w/ a 1 bedroom, boardwalk view!! :banana: I can't wait!! And I can't wait to get my annual passes back. :rolleyes: But, I can't wait to get this debt paid off either so I'm focused on that right now.

We've own at Vero (never been) but we've stayed at OKW, Saratoga Springs and Hilton Head. We love the flexibility of DVC and how it's met our needs in accomodating the two of us or a larger family trip of six which we did once.

I like how I can choose to splurge with bigger accomodations or be frugal with my points and go several times a year as opposed to a traditional timeshare where I HAVE to go on week 17 of 52. I like that we aren't locked into one week.

I like some of the perks that we're provided like the annual passes. DVC passes are roughly $5 more than a Florida resident pass. I enjoy the discounts in some of the stores and restaurants that my DVC provides. I like the feeling of being a part of a larger family and you really get that feeling at OKW. I like the special Member Only parties and the meetings that are exclusive to DVC owners.

I can honestly go on and on. We don't regret our purchase at all. I've heard many people say they just wish they had done it sooner. I can't really say that because I wasn't old enough to do it sooner. :laughing: We got in as soon as we could.

Please let me know if I can answer any more questions because I'd be glad too!

[PrincessSuzanne]

Disney Darling, I am probably going to question you to death. I REALLY want to do this. I have since our first trip. Now, I have never stayed DVC, but prefer Deluxe accommodations, but as long as I am at Disney, I would stay in a closet if I have to. That is why I think DVC is for us. I am just not quite ready to plop down $17,000 yet. I am leaning towards a small Re-sale, until the last of mom's money come through to me and if it is enough, I want to just on a larger contact. I am just worried that there will not be any incentives if I wait and there is a really nice one at AKV right now, or so I am told. I am not sure how to decide how many points we need. We like to go for each of our birthdays for a long weekend and for about a week the week before Christmas. A studio would be all we would need, but I would like to have the option for a 1 or 2 bedroom, so we could take family sometimes.

Should I try a small Re-Sale, maybe at AKV to see if we like it? :confused3

I am so confused, I used to have mom to help with decisions like this, but now I don't and DH doesn't have a clue. He is all for it, but he doesn't think about needing a cushion in the bank in case of an emergency and I now have that, unfortunately due to mom's death. We have paid off a good bit of our debt and I am about to finish up soon, hopefully, fingers crossed. I live for Disney and that is almost all I think about anymore. I think I am obcessed :scared1:

We have really enjoyed being AP holders and I am going to be sad when they expire in December, but I do have plans to renew.

Any more advice you have would be greatly appreciated

Suzanne

[Disney Darling]

I think a small re-sale would be a nice way to ease into DVC.

I think one of the things you need to think about is your vacation planning style. What do I mean? Well, do you know when you are going every year and can plan months ahead? It sounds like you do with birthdays and week before Christmas. If this is how you plan than the BEST BEST BEST piece of advice I can give is buy where you want to stay!!! This gives you the 11 month window so that you can secure the type of accomodations you want when you want them (like a 1-bedroom overlooking the boardwalk the week before Christmas :thumbsup2 )

If you are a last minute planner (which is how we tend to be) it doesn't really matter where you own as the advantage of the booking window isn't going to matter. Sometimes we decide two months out, sometimes we decided two days out and just call Disney to get into whatever is available (which lately has been Saratoga Springs :rolleyes: ). On occasion we've taken the family and have taken the time to "plan" the vacation and I was on the phone at my 7 month window getting those reservations. The problem with owning at Vero is that we can only take advantage of the 7 month planning window to stay at a different resort because you only get the 11 month advantage at your home resort.

Let me just say that December is a bear to try and get into any of the DVC resorts. It's a low point time and all of the Christmas decorations are up and this is the time many DVCers like to go. This is when if you knew you were going at Christmas (and I say Christmas but really mean the month of December) you could use your 11 month window and pretty much be guaranteed a room at the Inn.

We really don't mind a studio. Sure it's nice to have a 1 bedroom which provides and in-room washer and dryer and a working kitchen is a nice option as opposed to a kitchenette but a studio meets our needs and gets us more time in the World.

I love talking DVC so feel free to ask away.

[If U Had Wings]

Thanks for all the info Disney Darling. I'm hoping to take the DVC tour on my trip next year and check out all the resorts a bit on my own to see what I really like. I may also look into renting some points along the line for a short trip to test the waters. I'm leaning towards resale at BWI or OKW. OKW mainly because of the two queen beds since I often travel with family or friends. It would just be a bit more comfortable.

[Disney Darling]

Thanks for all the info Disney Darling. I'm hoping to take the DVC tour on my trip next year and check out all the resorts a bit on my own to see what I really like. I may also look into renting some points along the line for a short trip to test the waters. I'm leaning towards resale at BWI or OKW. OKW mainly because of the two queen beds since I often travel with family or friends. It would just be a bit more comfortable.
I love OKW because the rooms are so big. I think the 2 bedrooms are around 1300sq ft. I know it had more square feet than our little 3 bed, 2 bath starter home! I also appreciate the 2 queen beds as opposed to a pullout when traveling with family or friends.
I've also enjoyed the couch and bed at Saratoga. That's the great thing about DVC!! It's so accomodating! :banana:

[PrincessSuzanne]

I think a small re-sale would be a nice way to ease into DVC.

I think one of the things you need to think about is your vacation planning style. What do I mean? Well, do you know when you are going every year and can plan months ahead? It sounds like you do with birthdays and week before Christmas. If this is how you plan than the BEST BEST BEST piece of advice I can give is buy where you want to stay!!! This gives you the 11 month window so that you can secure the type of accomodations you want when you want them (like a 1-bedroom overlooking the boardwalk the week before Christmas :thumbsup2 )

If you are a last minute planner (which is how we tend to be) it doesn't really matter where you own as the advantage of the booking window isn't going to matter. Sometimes we decide two months out, sometimes we decided two days out and just call Disney to get into whatever is available (which lately has been Saratoga Springs :rolleyes: ). On occasion we've taken the family and have taken the time to "plan" the vacation and I was on the phone at my 7 month window getting those reservations. The problem with owning at Vero is that we can only take advantage of the 7 month planning window to stay at a different resort because you only get the 11 month advantage at your home resort.

Let me just say that December is a bear to try and get into any of the DVC resorts. It's a low point time and all of the Christmas decorations are up and this is the time many DVCers like to go. This is when if you knew you were going at Christmas (and I say Christmas but really mean the month of December) you could use your 11 month window and pretty much be guaranteed a room at the Inn.

We really don't mind a studio. Sure it's nice to have a 1 bedroom which provides and in-room washer and dryer and a working kitchen is a nice option as opposed to a kitchenette but a studio meets our needs and gets us more time in the World.

I love talking DVC so feel free to ask away.

You sound like us. For our Christmas trips, we have planned about 16 months out for long trips, but I have also planned a Christmas trip 4 months out for a short trip. I think if I had DVC, then we could just call and get whatever is avail, if we decide we want to take a long weekend away (I like doing that) just call and go, we have that flexability more with DVC then scraping money together for a room. My shortest window I have booked was 2 weeks out and at first there was nothing avail on property, then I called the next morning and got AS Movies. I think I am going to need ALOT of points. I want to go about 4 times a year (Spring, Summer, Fall, and Christmas) that sorta catches everything. I do use an ECV, so I need to be able to get around easily, but now with mom gone, we are more flexible, since I don't have to keep an eye on her (don't misunderstand, I would give my right arm to have her back).


I think DH and I are going to take the tour while we are there in December. I need some sort of idea. I really want to jump in right now, but I don't know what is stopping me, I do know, ME :confused3

Suzanne

[Disney Darling]

The other thing that you'll need to consider is the dues. The more points you have, the more you owe in dues. Dues can be paid in one lump sum or you can have them withdrawn from your checking account monthly.

We have it withdrawn monthly and I'll tell you it goes up every year. I'm at work so I can't tell you what it started out as (I'll be glad to look it up when I get home) but now we pay $73.99 a month which equates to $887.88 a year.

Still, not bad when you consider you can essentially get 2, 3 or even 4 visits a year depending on how you use your points. And, the accomodations are deluxe.

[PrincessSuzanne]

The other thing that you'll need to consider is the dues. The more points you have, the more you owe in dues. Dues can be paid in one lump sum or you can have them withdrawn from your checking account monthly.

We have it withdrawn monthly and I'll tell you it goes up every year. I'm at work so I can't tell you what it started out as (I'll be glad to look it up when I get home) but now we pay $73.99 a month which equates to $887.88 a year.

Still, not bad when you consider you can essentially get 2, 3 or even 4 visits a year depending on how you use your points. And, the accomodations are deluxe.


I had been thinking about the dues issue, but could use my tax refund to pay that, or even pay it monthly, because I have spent alot more than $800 on accommodations this year alone. One more lure is the discount on AP's, that is a great incentive for me. I am a large girl, so I love deluxe for the bigger beds. I just don't know how much money I will be getting from my moms retirement cash in, since it won't be sent to me until early Spring, but I can afford a re-sale now to try it and I guess if I get what I think I am getting, I could buy me a really nice Birthday present when we go down in June.

How many points do you have? How do I figure out how many I need? I would really like to go 4 times a year, with probably 3 trips being only 3 days and 1 longer trip in December. How do you decide which resort to choose? I want to stay at all of them, with the exception of HH and VB, but those re-sales are dirt cheap right now. Is that something to consider? maybe buying a re-sale at HH or VB and get in cheap. My only trip that I plan relly far out is Dec. I usually only plan out the others maybe 2-6 months in advance.

I really am enjoying talking to you about this. It is gettng me more excited. I think Dh and I are going to talk to a guide on our Dec trip, just to get to look at what is avail.

Suzanne

[Disney Darling]

I LOVE :love: the discount on APs. The APs through DVC are only $5.00 more than the Florida resident discount. Can't beat that.:thumbsup2

We have 150 points but we didn't get to use any this year. :sad1: So, I've banked them into next year. So, now I have 300 points to use. I will have to use at the least the 150 that I banked into next year because if I don't they expire and I will lose them.

Here is a DVC Point Chart http://www.wdwinfo.com/disney-vacation-club/DVCpoints.shtml. This can help you determine how many points you will need. The first thing you need to look at is when you like to go. I know you said Christmas. The month of December has tiers. Dec 1-14 takes the lowest amount of points. Dec 15-23 is the next higher tier. Dec. 23-31 is just ridiculously high points!! The whole month of January is the lowest on the charts as well as the month of September. So, look at when you want to go. The kind of accomodations you want to stay in (studio, 1-BR, 2BR, Grand Villa) and where you want to stay at. Make a mock up year of what you'd like to do and see how many points you come up with. This will help you determine how many points you'll need a year.

With our 150 points we usually end up staying at OKW because we get more bang for our point. The rooms are less points there (and they're also the biggest DVC rooms on property) which affords us more trips. If you're a last minute planner it's harder to have control over where you'll stay. You usually just get what's available which is generally Saratoga. :rolleyes: Saratoga is nice. There are people who bought there and love it there. But, we're all different and I don't really care for Saratoga but that's just me. I REALLY want to stay at Boardwalk but when it comes down to it I usually chicken out for the lower point OKW. I also want to stay at all of them but like I said (sorry, I guess I repeat myself) I can't justify spending my precious points. LOL!! :lmao:

[Disney Darling]

Hi Suzanne -- How did your pretend planning go? How many points do you think you'll need? Inquiring minds want to know. :rotfl:

How has everyone's weekend been? I actually *feel* like I had a weekend. It just felt very relaxing. DH got home from work early on Friday and had the house cleaned by the time I got home!! :love: :banana: So, on Friday night we went to Lowe's and picked up a few things we needed then came back and caught up on some t.v. :happytv: and some reading.
Saturday, I was up bright and early (don't know why but I felt awake) so we made plans to go to town for the day and invited some friends to go. It was fun to hang out and we were able to check out a local farmer's market. Saturday night I was able to get some reading in. I've become very interested in the raw foods lifestyle. We're already vegetarian and the more I'm reading the more I believe that this way of eating is what would be best for me and DH is on board (bonus!! :woohoo: ). When I say raw, I do not mean meat or dairy products. It simply means that my vegan dishes wouldn't be prepared over 105 degrees.
Today, DH and I went to mass and then to the mall where DH picked up a cigar for the evening. It's a new hobby that he's getting into and now he really can't wait to go back to Disney so that we can go to Sosa's Family Cigars in Downtown Disney. We also went grocery shopping for all my new raw recipes.
I'm getting ready to go make a salad for my lunch tomorrow. I'm carrying around quite a bit of extra weight (I'm definately a pooh sized girl) which brings added health problems :rolleyes: for me. Let's say I'm not a "healthy" vegetarian but I'm trying.

Got home this evening to find that our dog got sick in the house. :sad2: I won't go into details but let's just say DH is my hero for having the stomach to clean it up. :worship: And to think I want to be a nurse! :eek: Really, generally I'm very good with this type of stuff but today when we walked through the door and my senses were aware of what happened, I just couldn't do it.

Well, I hope to hear from you all soon. Hope eveyone had a terrific weekend!!

[Disney Darling]

Hey, so has everyone run off to Walt Disney World and forgot to tell me? :confused3

Where has everyone gone? I think I'm a thread killer. :scared:

[PrincessSuzanne]

Hi Disney Darling,I am here. I didn't get time to sit down and look at anything Disney related this weekend. I didn't leave work Friday night, or should I say Saturday morning until 12:15am. I was tired, but wired, so I watched a couple of hours of CSI: Miami (I'm in luv :love: with David Caruso).

DH took my van to the dealership to get my new starter and they didn't even have the part and couldn't contact the Warranty people, since they aren't open on Saturday. How stupid, they have known since last Mon/Tues that he was bringing it in. I told him I would find someone else to do it for less, to heck wit them. It took me awhile to get out of bed Saturday and then we didn't get out the door to run errands until about 1:30pm, that just put a wrench in my day. I am looking for a new SideBoard (buffet) for my dining room, since my stupid aunt took the one that was supposed to be mine (long story).Didn't find what I was looking for. Did some grocery shopping, by then, it was late. Didn't do much more than laundry and house cleaning yesterday.

Suzanne

[Disney Darling]

Hi Disney Darling,I am here. I didn't get time to sit down and look at anything Disney related this weekend. I didn't leave work Friday night, or should I say Saturday morning until 12:15am. I was tired, but wired, so I watched a couple of hours of CSI: Miami (I'm in luv :love: with David Caruso).

DH took my van to the dealership to get my new starter and they didn't even have the part and couldn't contact the Warranty people, since they aren't open on Saturday. How stupid, they have known since last Mon/Tues that he was bringing it in. I told him I would find someone else to do it for less, to heck wit them. It took me awhile to get out of bed Saturday and then we didn't get out the door to run errands until about 1:30pm, that just put a wrench in my day. I am looking for a new SideBoard (buffet) for my dining room, since my stupid aunt took the one that was supposed to be mine (long story).Didn't find what I was looking for. Did some grocery shopping, by then, it was late. Didn't do much more than laundry and house cleaning yesterday.

Suzanne Were you able to find someone else to fix your van? Don't you just hate slackers? I mean, it wasn't like you didn't give them enough time to get your part in.

So, we've had great news here at work. :mad: :guilty: My place of employment is making ALL employees from the president to the custodial staff take 5 days of mandatory leave!! :headache: :mad: Budget problems (or mismanagement of funds!!) of course. Thankfully, they don't have to be 5 days in a row. The other thing that burns my butt is, they want you to take the days so that they won't adversely affect your job duties!! :eek: :lmao: :eek: I just don't even know what to say about that!! I mean, they can adversely affect my pay and take my money but I can't take a day that might affect them in the wrong way. OOOOOOO KKKKKKKKKKK!!! I almost wish they'd lay me off and then I could go back to school.

So, as you can imagine, the morale is down around here. But, I do the best I can and I'm thankful I still have a job.

[PrincessSuzanne]

Were you able to find someone else to fix your van? Don't you just hate slackers? I mean, it wasn't like you didn't give them enough time to get your part in.

So, we've had great news here at work. :mad: :guilty: My place of employment is making ALL employees from the president to the custodial staff take 5 days of mandatory leave!! :headache: :mad: Budget problems (or mismanagement of funds!!) of course. Thankfully, they don't have to be 5 days in a row. The other thing that burns my butt is, they want you to take the days so that they won't adversely affect your job duties!! :eek: :lmao: :eek: I just don't even know what to say about that!! I mean, they can adversely affect my pay and take my money but I can't take a day that might affect them in the wrong way. OOOOOOO KKKKKKKKKKK!!! I almost wish they'd lay me off and then I could go back to school.

So, as you can imagine, the morale is down around here. But, I do the best I can and I'm thankful I still have a job.


A man my husband works with told him if he would get the part $89.00, he would help him put it on. The dealer wants $70 just for a system check and then the warranty (which is about to expire) has a $250 deductible. Guees how I am gonna get it done. Cheaper :thumbsup2

That must be awful, to have mandatory time off. I wouldn't mind some right now, but to not get paid, that is bad. I have a larger salary than DH, so it would be worse for me to be out, but aleast we have some money to live off of for awhile if that happens, just hope I don't have to use it. Do they really think that is going to help the situation?

I am thankful I still have a job, too, seeing I have been a slacker lately, I just don't have the get up and go, since mom passed.

Suzanne

[Disney Darling]

Whoa, I almost couldn't find our thread because it was getting buried.

$89.00!! :woohoo: I love a deal!! Every penny helps right now. :rolleyes: Yes, the five days suck but it's better than me losing my job, I suppose. Course, if they laid me off, maybe I could go back to school for nursing. :idea: I shouldn't even say that. But, the bad thing with nursing is that they are pretty much day time classes. I can't quit my job right now to pursue something else and that's what I'd have to do.

The good thing about the five days is that they can be spread out. It won't really affect me either way as they're going to take 1.9% out of each of my paychecks starting 12/01/08-06/30/08. But, DH is a different story. He works hourly and when he takes off he won't get paid. We've decided that he needs to take a half a day every two weeks. We work at the same place if you couldn't tell. :laughing:

I could really use a vacation but now is not the time to be thinking that. :scared1:

Sometimes I wish we lived closer to Disney. It's really the only place I want to go to anyway. I don't think I'd want to live in Orlando because I like the idea of "going" to Disney (does this make sense?) but I would like to live w/in 3-5 hours of the front gate. That would so be doable on a 3 day weekend and such.

I'm trying to get my office straightened up today. It gets to the point where I can't put my hands on things and I'm only making my job harder by duplicating my efforts or losing important documentation. I need to get my act together.

Well, I hope to hear from you all soon. I was so excited when I found this thread but now it seems to be fizzling out. :confused3

But don't worry, PrincessSuzanne and I will keep the light on for ya'! :goodvibes

[kesharn81]

really interesting thing to know..
how people live their lives...
:rotfl: :dance3:

[PrincessSuzanne]

really interesting thing to know..
how people live their lives...
:rotfl: :dance3:

What? :confused3

Suzanne

[Disney Darling]

What? :confused3

Suzanne

That's exactly what I thought. What????? :confused3
I did a search on the username and they take part in threads like this that's why I didn't get it. :confused3

How are you doing? Yesterday was our 11 year anniversary!! :bride: :groom:

So I tortured myself by trying to buy a dress for a wedding I have today. :rolleyes: Nothing like waiting til the last minute but truth is, I don't want to go so subconsciously I think I put it off. I couldn't find a darn thing so, I'm going to just have to wear something I've got. I declared to DH after the 19th dress I tried that I WAS NOT going! :mad: He said that I was. :rolleyes:

Oh well, such is life!

Talk to you soon.

[PrincessSuzanne]

Hey, I have been crazy lately. I found out last week that I need a new heat and air conditioner for my house, fun, huh. Expensive is more like it. Guess I won't be visiting DVC at least for now. I have to have everything replaced. I am sure my grandfather did the work, but that was at least 30-35 years ago and there are 2 systems for the house, don't know why, only speculating that when it was added onto dgrandfather just added a second unit instead of tying the 2 together. I am going to get a duel fuel system and have 1 unit for the heat and ac for the whole house/in the past we have only heated and cooled half the house. I also have to have new ducts and they have to brought up to code. Sure wish I could win the lottery, I just thank God that I have the money to take care of it, I just don't need any more surprises. I am not going to seek out any more problems as I did with this.

I am spending the week packing for WDW and we leave at 5:30 Saturday morning for 9 glorious days. I am so looking forward to it, so are my cousin's children. Two have never been and the oldest has only been in June, so I am just excited to see their faces when they go into the MK for the first time :goodvibes

Our anniversary is today, 7 years for us. We will celebrate while at WDW, since we didn't get to this weekend. I had too many last minute errands to run, clean the house and have a breakdown over the heat/ac, and the car.


Suzanne

[Disney Darling]

Happy Anniversary!!!!

I sure wish I was spending my weekend packing. :thumbsup2

The wedding was nice but DH managed to bring home a bug. Not sure if it's a stomach virus or the flu. He was sick to his stomach the first part of the morning but then he held onto the fever and the achey joints until the wee hours of this morning. His fever finally broke but he still has the achey joints. :confused3

I'm at work wishing I were home.

Have fun on your trip!! :banana:

[Disney Darling]

Well, I think our thread has died. :confused3 :sad1:

I'll try one more time to revive it as I was so looking forward to other like minded individuals like myself.

Where to start, where to start. . .

Well, as you can see by my ticker, 2009 is the year that DH are going to be debt-free once and for all!! I say once and for all because we've been debt free before but we fell off the wagon and this has been a painfully slow process getting these debts gone!! But, this is the year!!

Christmas wasn't too good at our home. I had surgery in Atlanta with a specialist just a few days before and I was home on Christmas day but it was my worst day. I was in ALOT of pain and I was running a fever. I thought I was going to have to go back to the hospital. I didn't and thankfully, it was uphill after that and everyday I started feeling a little bit better.

I'm back to work now and we're as busy as ever. I could REALLY use a Walt Disney World vacation!! But, there's that whole debt thing. :rolleyes:

I went to a girls night game night over the weekend at my friend's and she had a girl there who is in the process of adopting two children. She's still, however, on the fertility merry go round. I explained our story and I told her I've finally made peace with not having children. She said, "Oh, I don't think that'll ever be me. I'll never be able to make peace with it". I remember that mindset but really, what's the alternative? Not making peace? Feeling crazy? :confused3

I'm reading the fourteenth installment of the Stephanie Plum series. Love those books. My friend is trying to get me to read the Twilight series. I just am not drawn to those. :confused3 I'm generally a self-help, "How To" book kind of girl.

So, what has been up with you all? I'm hoping that you've subscribed to our thread and will see my last attempt to keep us going.

Suzanne, how was your trip? Did you at least get to tour DVC? Inquiring minds want to know! :rotfl:
Hope you said "hi" to Mickey for me. :cutie:

[PrincessSuzanne]

Hi DD, I have thought about posting here, but I always get sidetracked.

December was run, run, run for me. Our trip was really nice, but I didn't feel well most of it, just kinda dragging. I don't do well with others running my show and my cousin did a good bit of that. We spent most of the time running from one ressie to the other (she'll listen to me next time). Now, I know why I don't have children. Her children were good, it was just restricting to me. Her oldest stayed with us for our last 2 nights and I can deal with her pretty easily, since we have taken her to WDW before and because she is 10. No, we didn't get to do the DVC tour. I did say hi to Mickey for you. Remember, I found out before we left that we had to have a whole new heating and air system in our house and that cost $6,000, so no DVC right now :sad2: Maybe sometime in the future :confused3

Christmas sucked without mom, I really miss her. DH and I spent most of it alone and that was fine with me. New Years was quiet, Dh had to work (I hate his boss) and I was home alone, nice, but not so much.

I spent alot of time reading, I bought the Love Comes Softly series by Janette Oke and have been steadily reading it. I think I am on the 4th book now.

DH and I went to Atlanta Saturday night for Monster Jam and got stuck in Downtown in the rain and decided to stop in Fairburn because he was exhausted and I was a nervous wreck.

I am trying to stop making myself feel so guilty about wanting to make more travel plans with DH. I don't knwo why I still feel this way. I did before because I didn't want to leave mom, but she isn't here now. I never wanted to travel as a child, becasue all we ever did was go visit my aunt in Atlanta, but now, I have the free feeling and I want to travel. I don't mean huge, expensive trips, just 2-4 day or weekend trips with DH. We don't have children and probably never will, so why am I feeling guilty :confused3 It isn't money, we can afford to do it, is it just residual guilt? Make it go away, there are so many things I want to see and do.

Please help me keep this thread going, I like having someone to talk to., since I don't have mom and I don't see Dh much during the week because of our schedules. I need a friend to talk to.

Suzanne

[Disney Darling]

:hug: Suzanne, I'm so sorry to hear about Christmas. It must have been very hard for you. I'm here and I love to chat so we'll keep this thread alive and maybe along the way, we'll pick up a few more.

I remembered you saying about your heating and air but I was just hopin' you'd be able to do the DVC tour. The salespeople are low-no pressure sell and you get to see the rooms and lots of times they give you goodies like meal vouchers or fast passes. It's purrty cool. :thumbsup2

I know what you're saying about the children thing. I've been before with my friend and her children. While they were really well behaved (can't say so much for the friend :rolleyes: ) it's just different. Also, I know what you're saying about the ressies. We've done the DDP twice but I found that I wanted to get the most for our money so I had our day packed with ADRs. But DH and I are the type to make a plan, like we'll plan to do AK on Monday and Epcot on Tuesday etc., etc., but if the plan's not working or we just get a wild hair and choose to go tour the resorts or hop to another park we like the flexibility to do so. When we have ADRs we find ourselves being inconvenienced because we can't leave the park because we have our ressies in an hour but they want you to be there 20 mins. early and then there's the whole sitting through the meal when you would have rather left. . . you get the idea. They really tie us down and we just like to be flexible.

You are a girl after my own heart. I love little mini-getaways. :goodvibes I kind of understand the mental block for just doing it. This is going to sound kind of silly (putting myself out there and probably going to sound like a dork) but I had a hard time (I guess I still do) giving myself permission to do "fun" stuff during the week. Like going to the movies on a Tuesday or going to the mall on a Wednesday or just whatever. When I was growing up, we only did these type activities on the weekend. These are weekend activities and you can't do them any other time than the weekend. :sad2: During the week, we had school and then we came home, did homework, dinner and that's it! That was our Monday through Friday. When I got married and DH wanted to do these things on say a Thursday, I almost had panic attacks. I know that sounds silly and I'm really embarrased by it. And, I had this residual guilt that doing weekend activities on a school night/work night was somehow bad. I can't believe I just shared that!!!!! :blush: :blush: :blush: :blush: I still struggle with it :blush: but I'm learning that life is passing me by when I fall back into this stinking-thinking. I miss alot of fun and bonding moments with my DH when I hold myself to these crazy ideas.

I write all of this to say (if you choose to associate to this crazy girl :rotfl: ) that you are not alone. Old habits, old beliefs they are hard to overcome but you can do it. What I hate about myself is that going out and having fun and bonding with my husband are all good things there is absolutely nothing wrong with it, but I associate it with bad behavior. I told you it's silly but I guess everyone has their hang-ups. :upsidedow
So I say, let us both go out and get the most out of our short time on earth and let's not let ourselves sabotage our own lives. Make sense?

Well, I officially started this post at like 7:30 this morning and it's now 3:33pm. I'm at work and it's been a busy day!! :faint: Therefore, if parts of this post sound like they don't make sense, it's because I've been working on it a word at at time sometime.

Talk to you soon!!

DD

[PrincessSuzanne]

Hey DD, great to hear from you. I would love to keep this thread going. It is nice to have another woman to talk to, not that I don't love talking to DH, he just isn't always interesting and I tune him out most of time (shame on me):lmao:

Well, I don't mind ADR's, in fact I love the breakfast ADR's best, not so much into those fancy dinner menues. We prefer QS during our summer trips, except I get to pick a special character breakfast for my birthday, so I can be a child again, makes getting older more bearable :laughing:

We are going back in June for a fun filled, act like teenagers, wild, fun, all out trip for my 36th birthday (did I just say that), so I most likely will do a DVC tour then. I really wanted to in Dec, but I just felt bad, I think I was coming down with a cold with the change in temps from home to WDW. I know I was over exhausted from work and all the stress of the last few months and it just kicked my behind.


I am trying to give myself permission to take a mini-getaway, just can't decide where to go. I have to do this for myself and my marriage. My mom was a huge part of our lives prior to her death and now, I have to make that up to DH because for the most part, he was patient about always taking her with us everywhere, I would have regretted if I hadn't, and he seems to understand that now. I have a dear frind at work that lost her DH suddenly 3 yeasr ago and she says she regrets that there are things they wanted to do and didn't, so I am counting on her to keep me in check. I lost a friend in the shooting at the hospital I work at last March, then lost mom 5 months later, I can't keep putting off my life. You never know what tomorrow is going to give you. We aren't doing anything to prevent having a baby and by some miracle I guess we could, and that would change everything.

When I was off work over Christmas, we went go out to dinner a couple of times and it was really nice for a change. I work a different shift from DH, so we aren't really home together much during the week, but it would be nice to throw caution to the wind and go out. We usually spend all day on Saturday together, now his boss wants to be an a**hole and wants DH to work 6 days a week (Dh thinks they are trying to pull a fast one, like they usually do). They pick on him about our relationship and DH won't stand up for himself. The weekend is really the only time we get together, since I don't get home until midnight and he leaves for work at either 4:15 or 6:15 every morning. He will go with little sleep, so he can be up when I get home.

You aren't crazy. If you were, then I am too :upsidedow Work is about the only time I get to DIS, especially since my computer at home is on the fritz, until my teenager can fix it for me.

Now, you have to help me decide where to go for our getaway, I can't make up my mind :headache:

Suzanne

[Disney Darling]

Heaven knows I've been guilty of tuning DH a time or two. ;)

I don't mind ADRs. In fact, sometimes they are a blessing like for character meals and such. But, when you have the DDP we had a table service everyday so everyday we had to plan to be somewhere (at least I felt like we did). I don't mind one or two sit-downs a trip w/ ADRs but those two trips when we did DDP felt like our days were dictated by ADRs and we had to plan around those meals. Does that make sense?

What do you do at the hospital? I just ask because I REALLY want to go back to school for nursing!! http://www.sheknows.com/graphics/emoticons/nurse.gif That's so scary that you had a shooting right at your work!! And even sadder that you lost a friend. :hug: This is a fear of mine, a shooting at work.

I'd love to help you plan for a getaway!! I'll live vicariously through you until I can get our debt gone. DH said yesterday he's thinking about picking up a part time job so that we can get this monkey off our back because he's ready for a vacation. I'll be so glad when I see my ticker start moving. It should very shortly. We just moved our debt to an interest free card and we're waiting to get everything set up online and get to paying it down.

Well, I'll check back in later. I've got to get some work done. We are understaffed and overworked. Some call it job security but I call it a headache :headache: sometimes.

Chat w/ ya' soon!:yay:

[PrincessSuzanne]

I screen pts(uninsured)for public assistance (medicaid/disability) services and crime victim services. I actully work for a company out of Louisville, KY and we are contracted to the billing services, who are contracted by the hospital. Not to shabby money wise compared to what jobs around here pay, and I have to remember that when I have a really bad day/week :rotfl: I would not want to be a nurse. I am a Medical Assistant and started out working clinicals in a doctors office and worked my way up. I have done a little of everything, including running an office, almost (my last job, the doctor didn't want an Office Manager because we had had some terrible ones, so she and I ran the place) until she went back to Canada.

It was one of our techs that was shot, he was trying to stop the shooter who had shot one of the nurses and then the guy shot him, then ran out of the hospital and shot an older gentleman in the parking lot before he could be stopped. I had just gotten to work as they captured him. It was a terrible day.

I used a good bit of mom life insurance to pay down some of our debt, we still have some, but not too bad. I just feel like I have to do this for us, especially thinking back on the events of last year. I was within seconds of being hit by a car this afternoon on my way home from a doctors appt. I felt the hand of GOD stop me and looked and there was a car barreling down the road. If I hadn't stopped, I would have been seriously injured or more likely killed, because the SUV would have hit the drivers side door and I don't have side air bags. I am a very lucky person today. I am still shaky over it and that happened just over 3 hours ago.

Well, I can't decide between Atlanta Downtown (World of Coke, Aquarium, and Zoo) or Destin (Sandestin Golf and Beach Resort). I am looking at the second weekend 12-14 or last weekend in March 26-28. We are 1 1/2 hours from downtown Atlanta and 4 hours from Destin. I am just not sure it will be warm enough to go to the beach in March. I have only been to the beach, like 2 times in my life and that was during the summer. I have always wanted to stay in one of those fancy hotels in Downtown Atlanta. We drove through that area on Saturday night and it is really nice, now, compared to the last time I was there. I just can't decide. Then there is Biloxi, MS; Savannah, GA; Tennessee; South Carolina. I just can't make up my mind. I need to make a decision soon, so I can get some reservations made and request my time off. Decisions, Decisions. HELP :scared1:

Suzanne

[Disney Darling]

Hey Suzanne :wave2:

Did you get my PM?

[avspilot69]

We too were once kidless years ago and I know exactly how it feels. We too endured the "questions" which were really implied insults, the naggings, the baby shower invitations etc. We had a tough time but things went better when we moved on and accepted the fact that we would be childless.

Eventhough now we have 2 kids, I still feel very strongly for those who are kidless not by choice or otherwise.

[Disney Darling]

Hello avspilot,
Thank you for sharing your kind words. Please drop by and share in the conversations with us anytime. :)

[PrincessSuzanne]

Hey DD, I did get your PM, sorry I haven't replied, I have been really sick. I just wanted to pop in for a minute to see what was up before I get back to work. I will catch up as soon as I am feeling better.

Suzanne

[PrincessSuzanne]

Hey DD, hope you got my long winded response. I have been swamped here and at home.

I am not looking forwrd to tomorrow, it would have been mom's 61st birthday and her present: her headstone. Not exactly the kind of present you wnat to get your mom for her birthday. I do hope it has been installed, as I want to take her some flowers. the cemetary will throw them out if there is not a vase.

I am looking forward to Valentine's Day, for the first time probably in my life. Dh proposed to me on Valentine's Day in 2001. We are going to Atlanta for the weekend. DD are you two doing anything special? After the flower disaster of 2008, I wasn't sure if we should attempt to do anything besides stay at home, but we are going to be adventurous.

I have to throw this out here, because I thought it was hilarious :lmao: sort of. DH told me the other day, he was ready for a baby :eek: , I looked at him like he was crazy :scared: WTH, he knows what we went through in 2004/2005, I guess he just needed a reminder. I am NOT going down that road again to come out empty handed AGAIN, my body doesn't work, what part of that doesn't he understand :confused3 Where was he????? :scared1: Oh, yeah, he was in California with the Army for several of those months, the worst of those months, I should say :sad2: I love him anyway :love:

Talk to you later:

Suzanne

[Disney Darling]

Suzanne, I am just so sorry about your mom. :hug: She was young. May I ask how she passed?

Was her headstone installed? I'm sure it's beautiful.

We are not doing anything for Valentine's day. DH has to be an usher at mass so we'll be in church. :rolleyes: Nothing wrong w/ church but I'd rather do something nice, like dinner, for Valentine's Day and go to mass on Sunday.

How wonderful that you're getting away for Valentine's but I have to ask, what is the flower disaster of 2008? :rotfl: I don't mean to laugh if it's not funny but it sure sounds funny.

I can understand how your DH feels about the whole baby thing. I mean, sometimes I find myself going back there. Do you know the "there" of which I speak? :headache: The ups and downs of temperature taking, doctor appointments, timing, timing, timing, only to be let down! I just had surgery down in Atlanta in December for my endometriosis. I was kind of hoping that after the clean up it could happen but I don't think it is. Course DH is now adamant he does NOT want kids! I'm telling you, after that mother changed her mind last minute in that adoption we were trying for, it was like something died in DH. :sad2: He doesn't hate kids but he really tries to avoid them at any cost. I don't know if it's just too painful or if he's just not used to kids? I just don't know. Most days, as you know, I'm fine that we don't have kids but every now and then. Well, it's just hard. Especially w/ each passing year. My saving grace is that we have two couples that we are friends with and they don't have children either. One couple is 37 and 40 but the other couple is 24 and 30. There's a good chance that the 24/30 could have children but she's already had two miscarriages and she suffers from PCOS and she's said she doesn't know if she can mentally handle another miscarriage. But, it is nice to not feel like you're missing out on something because everyone else has snagged the gold ring why you just keep riding the merry go round and missing your chance.

Anyway. . .
I also want to warn you that my grammar is probably a wreck. I'm sure it's very painful to read my writing with misspelled words and improper use of the English language. It's just that my thoughts fly at a hundred miles a minute and unfortunately, my brain or more like my typing fingers just can't keep up. Also, lots of time I'm writing at work and I'm only being interrupted about a zillion times from he time I start until I close. No telling what I'm saying then. :rotfl:

Well, I guess I will close. I'm getting ready to go watch the Office, well pretty soon anyway.

Talk to you soon.

[PrincessSuzanne]

Hey DD,

My mom was young and didn't look a day over 40, that is until after she passed. She had a heart attack, I am guessing a massive one. They didn't really tell me alot, or I don't remember. It was all so hard to handle. We were talking about our trip to WDW one minute and she was gone the next. She never had any pain or grabed for her chest. She just sat up gasped and crumpled over in her recliner. I am sure she was gone before the ambulance got there, but they wouldn't tell me. She was revived at the hospital by the time I was able to see her, but I just had a feeling she wouldn't regain consciousness and she didn't. She was taken to ICU, but coded about 4 or 5 times between 11pm and 2am. The doctor who saw her talked to me for a long time then and I made te decision to let her go, I already knew that is what she would have wanted. We talked extensively about it after my aunt died. In fact, we had just been joking about it a couple of weeks before, just casually.

Sorry to share so much, but it helps and even slows down some of the flash backs I have had. I had alot of guilt because with my medical training I couldn't do anything to help her.

Oh, her headstone is beautiful. it has Mickey heads on each side of her name, since she loved Mickey and WDW so much.

I am thrilled to be getting away this weekend. I love Dh and me time, we seem to get so little during the week.

The flower disaster of 2008 is hilarious :lmao: Dh had a Dell Preferred Account and they were offering a discount on arrangements for VD last year and I saw one I loved :love: and hinted to Dh about it, so he ordered it and early too. well VD arrives and he calls me and asked if I had gotten it and I said no, so he called and they (Teleflora) said that the florist was on the way, well the arrangement that was delivered was nothing like the beautiful one he ordered and was half dead. We made several calls about it and he was not charged for it. Well, they had another florist make a similar arrnagement and deliver it the following week, well it was a little better but not much. The original arrangement was in a clear double vase filled with those little conversation hearts in the outside layer and a mixed bouquet in the inner vase and a huge VD balloon.The second florist had to improvise because VD was over. Ok, fine, they had already ruined VD for me. Then about a week or 2 later the receptionist called me out to the desk and here is another arrangement of some kind of yellow flowers, no explanation, with a card from Dh, called and he didn't order it, he called Teleflora and I think is was sort of a peace offering. All the girls at work were like WTH did Dh do, cause thye didn't know all the details, it was funny :rotfl2: Not so much at first, because I really wanted that original arrangement. if you order as early as Dh did, they should be able to get it right or at least call and let him know so he could have chosen something else or I could have). I hope you got it, You just had to be there.

He has something up his sleeve for tomorrow, but I don't know what. I told him he could just buy me a Coach purse at the outlet Saturday :rotfl: He has no idea what they cost :lmao: :rotfl2:

It was odd for DH to bring up the baby thing without me mentioning it first. He doesn't really like children, he is jealous of me spending time with my cousin's children and make my life miserable when they are over. It was such a shock because he knows how I feel at this point. I go back there too and it is easier, unless I see someone like that Octo mom and i just get furious. Dh wasn't here when I was going through the IUI's, he was in California with his Army unit, mom had to deal with me and I was not a nice person. He was there on Christmas eve when I got the bad news about the lst one not working. I had fallen asleep on the couch and thought I heard the phone, but couldn't really wake up, so he had to tell me and he had tears in his eyes. that was 2004. I have half an attic full of baby clothes, my crib, toys, books, a very nice expensive stroller/car seat combo, and a car seat for an older child, but I can't let go of them just yet, I do keep thinking in the back of my mind, what if I get my miracle and I have gotten rid of my babies stuff. I already experience a theft of some of my stuff from my storage unit, that was like losing a part of my life. It isn't where I can see it or stew over it, but I know it is there and almost feel comforted by it.


I don't know if I could handle a miscarriage. I know I couldn't, but to at least be able to know that I could get pregnant, that would help alot. I can't even get pregnant, that is what bothers me most.

Yeah, anywho.....

Don't worry about your grammar and spelling. I am bad at it. I think faster than I type and that is hard.

My dinner break is oer, so I better get back to work :eek:

Suzanne

[PrincessSuzanne]

DD, I just have to vent. He has done it again. He sent me something, via UPS to the hospital, it goes to a central location and I may never see this item again.

Well, I got him to tell me what it was, a Vermont Teddy Bear. I despise teddy bears. I have never liked them. I am soooo mad right now, I could spit nails, but I just want to sit here and cry, because he has messed up another V Day for me. I don't know how I am going to enjoy the trip tomorrow, because everytime I look at him, I will get angry.

UUUUUHHHHHH I am so mad :furious:

I wish for once, he would do something that wouldn't get screwed up. I wish he would think before he does something. I wish he would get to know me and what I like. I don't understand how he doesn't, we have been together for over 8 years. It is like somebody has to hold his hand for him to be able to do something. He said it was because mom wasn't here, she always took him to get me something. I want him to put his heart into it.


ETA: The bear was found, I don't know what made me do it, but I called the switchboard and they had it there, why I didn't ask, but our last name was spelled wrong, so I guess they thought it didn't belong to anyone here. I am still not happy about it being a teddy bear, and it looks weird, but the white sash on it says Udderly in Love so I have softened, stupid old sap I am.

Suzanne

[Disney Darling]

I thought I'd pop in to say I'm so sorry for being MIA.

I have gotten stuck reading the Twilight Saga :sad2: and wish I hadn't.

I am a reasonable, generally sensible woman. I can't believe the emotions and obsession I've had with this series. If you haven't read it, I just don't know how to explain it.

I thought my friends and family were crazy when I saw how it affected them. My one friend would literally sit in the tub until the water was cold, she couldn't pull herself away. I, like her, am losing sleep because I just can't put these 500, 600, 700 page books down. When I'm not reading them, I'm thinking about them. . . well, the characters.

I've cried, I've laughed.

It's so annoying to me how they've had such a hold on me.

I'm on the last book now and I'm a bit relieved. I'm sad because their stories will be over, but relieved that this means I will be able to get back on with my life. I know that sounds absolutely INSANE, as I explained earlier, I'm generally a reasonable, well-grounded person but these books have made me crazy. :scared:

Anyway, when I pull myself out of this final book and give myself time to grieve (gosh that's a strong word :rolleyes: ) then I can find myself back w/ more time to post.

[want2bamommy]

Here is a potpourri of topics I'd love to hear about from others who, like me, are childless but didn't really choose it, and have decided to move on (hey, I'm 45, it isn't going to happen).
1. How you coped with childlessness that you didn't choose, and how you've moved on, or are moving on.
2. Do you think being childless has helped or hurt your marriage? (Sorry if this is a little too serious!)
3. Your favorite restaurants at Disney. (Unofficial guidebooks always complain about the Disney food, but I love to eat at Disney!)
4. Pets, pets, pets!!



I haven't definitely "moved on" yet (I promise NO TTC talk here) but I hope that it is ok to post here. My name is Melissa (a.k.a. Missie from the Childless but not by choice thread). I've been married to Mark for over 12 years now who is in the Army and currently deployed for a year (he's only been gone 5 weeks so far). We have a 6 year old Mini-Schnauzer named Sarge who we ADORE!!

1) I'm at the point now where I am seriously contemplating moving on but DH doesn't agree so we'll have to discuss this a lot more when he get back in January.
2) Gosh that is a tough question...I guess a little bit of both to be honest. There of course has been a ton of pressure and stress put on each other while we were TTC and didn't have any successful pregnancies. I think we are stronger for having gone through it though when I truly relfect back on it.
3) Well I LOVE the food at Disney too! LOL. Some of my favorite meals have been at places that are less popular, I think. My 3 favorite meals have been at the Princess Akershus DINNER where I LOVE the Traditional Kjottkaker! I also love character meals so that I can take pictures to scrapbook, lol. My second favorite was Wolfgang Puck's Restaurant (The Upstairs Dining Room) at Downtown Disney. I had the Wiener Schnitzel with Warm Austrian Potato Salad. YUMMO!!! The third meal that I loved from start to finish was at Mama Melrose (I said it was an unpopular view, lol). I had the Breads and Spreads appy (when that was included on the DDP), Penne Alla Vodka with Pancetta and then the Honey Hazlenut Ricotta Cheesecake. OMG!!! I have tons of other great meals too so I would be a fan of disney dining, lol.
4) Pets...well I mentioned our little pooch in my intro. He is a good boy who keeps Mommy company while Daddy is away. Whenever I cry or get sad he truly knows and comforts me! With Dh being gone and me being 6 hours from "home" it can get lonely sometimes. He is a great companion!

I look forward to getting to know you! I have a bunch of reading to catch up on now, lol.

Melissa

[PrincessSuzanne]

Hey Missie,

Good to see a familiar poster. How are you doing? I know it can get awfully lonely when Dh is gone. Mine was in the Army when we met and getting to the end of his active duty days, then we had 5 years of Reserves and that wasn't too bad, until he started driving trucks and was gone, except for his reserve weekends, but he was gone to them and I hardly saw him for a good portion of a year.

I really couldn't deal with Dh being gone now, I have become very clingy since mom died. I hate even being away from him to go to work some days. I know I need help.

I forgot where I was going with this Dh came in with food, be back later.......


Suzanne

[Disney Darling]

Hey Missie!! :welcome: to our little corner of the Dis.

I've been MIA for a few days due to my current obsession w/ the Twilight series. I'm almost done - - - - THANK GOODNESS - - - - then I can hopefully have my life back. I've also started school last week and I have class tonight and tomorrow night so that's taking some of my time too.

I didn't bring the book w/ me today so that I can focus on my assingment at lunch today, instead of reading.

Anyhooo, glad you stopped by to introduce yourself and I look forward to chattin' some more.

[want2bamommy]

i thought i was doing ok with the moving on part. but something happened last week. we happened to be at a restauant with some of my husband coworkers. a very casual affair. one of his coworkers showed up for dessert and brought her 3 year old with her. not a big deal. but while we were waiting for the check, she leans over to me and says "aren't you ready for one yet". people say the dumbest things. i barely know this women and i'm not about to discuss all we went through and how we have chosen to stop trying. i was bothered for hours after this. so i guess i still have some baggage.
kate

Hi, Kate! I'm sorry about the dumb comments that people make. I always chalk it up to others not understanding how hurtful it is if they haven't experienced infertility. That doesn't soften the blow at all but I have to tell myself that.

By the way we are neighbors :) ! I am just an hour north of you in Fort Drum. I go to Syracuse (not in the winter though) 1-2 times per month for a Support Group (for weight loss surgery) and a little shopping :yay: . LOL.

Melissa

[want2bamommy]

Hey Missie,

Good to see a familiar poster. How are you doing? I know it can get awfully lonely when Dh is gone. Mine was in the Army when we met and getting to the end of his active duty days, then we had 5 years of Reserves and that wasn't too bad, until he started driving trucks and was gone, except for his reserve weekends, but he was gone to them and I hardly saw him for a good portion of a year.

I really couldn't deal with Dh being gone now, I have become very clingy since mom died. I hate even being away from him to go to work some days. I know I need help.

I forgot where I was going with this Dh came in with food, be back later.......


Suzanne

Hi Suzanne! Girl I miss you!! I'm so happy to find you here and I look forward to our convo's about Disney and life! You and DD (Disney Darling?) seem to be hitting it off too! I hope I can keep up, lol.

You know how it is with the deployments....some days are better than others! I am going home to NJ for Easter Weekend and I'm really looking forward to that. I need some family time, you know? Then my Mom is coming to visit me for 5 days after Easter which will be great. I'm trying to convince my Sister and her family to visit along with my BIL/SIL and their kids, lol. Having company just helps!

Talk to you soon girlie!

[want2bamommy]

Hey Missie!! :welcome: to our little corner of the Dis.

I've been MIA for a few days due to my current obsession w/ the Twilight series. I'm almost done - - - - THANK GOODNESS - - - - then I can hopefully have my life back. I've also started school last week and I have class tonight and tomorrow night so that's taking some of my time too.

I didn't bring the book w/ me today so that I can focus on my assingment at lunch today, instead of reading.

Anyhooo, glad you stopped by to introduce yourself and I look forward to chattin' some more.

Hi, Disney Darling! It is great to "meet" you!!! I did catch up with all 8 pages and it seems that you and Suzanne have kept this little group going! I'm hoping that we can keep it active discussing our FAVORITE topic...Disney of course, lol.

It is the happiest place on earth for me but I'm a little worried about my upcoming trip after reading what Suzanne said about going with a child after going the adults only route most of the time, lol. My niece will be great though....she has NO IDEA about the trip and won't find out until the week before we are going. I'm excited about that.

Melissa

[want2bamommy]

I knew it would happen so I don't know why I get my hopes up! Mark's 2 week leave is now changed to August. It is better than July at this point but it is just disappointing because I really wanted to make ADR's ahead of time for the 4 meals we REALLY want (LeCellier, Akershus Dinner, HDDR and Cape May breakfast). I don't see us actually getting LeCellier or Akershus for dinner with a week or less advanced notice.

Just a bit bummed and needed to vent.

Thanks!
Melissa

[PrincessSuzanne]

Hey Missie,

I am sorry you have to move your trip to August. August isn't that bad, well later in the month is isn't. We are currently booked for June 6-13, Sept 20-26, which I am changing to 23-26, and Dec 16-2. I hope we get to keep all those dates. I definitely have to go for my birthday in June, I will need thr distraction with this being my first birthday without mom. I cried a good bit in December without her, because there were so many things that reminded me of her.

Don't worry about taking your neice, you will do great. I handle my oldest cousin best, she is almost 11 and has been 3 times. It is her little brother 7 and little sister 3 that were a hand full. They were good, just busy. The 7 year old is Autistic and he can get over excited and hard to handle and well the 3 year old is 3 going on 18, she is such a little Diva. Taking an older child is a piece of cake, especially if they are ordinarily well behaved.

Our 3 trips this year will be only Dh and me. We are going to do some things we haven't done yet. We want to go to a water park, probably BB, we want to rent some type of boat and sail on Bay Lake, we want to do maybe 1 or 2 of the tours. We are both looking forward to having some alone time, especially Dh. He asks daily if it is June yet. We want to do MNSSHP again in Sept, that was alot of fun and we got in on the BB Free Dining Special, that will save me abit of money, we want to try some adult places to eat, maybe Coral Reef. Dec has become a tradition to celebrate our Anniversary and is our Christmas present to each other.

Don't worry about getting the places you want, I don't think it will be that much of a problem, seeing as Disney isn't too crowded right now.

Suzanne

[hematite153]

I knew it would happen so I don't know why I get my hopes up! Mark's 2 week leave is now changed to August. ... I really wanted to make ADR's ahead of time for the 4 meals we REALLY want ...I don't see us actually getting LeCellier or Akershus for dinner with a week or less advanced notice.


I get that your dates may change again, but, is it possible for you to make ADRs for the two or three dates that you think are most likely? You would have plenty of time to cancel the ones you can't use so that someone else could get them later. (Remember, the ADR booking window is now 90 days, so, nobody's booked anything for August yet.)

By the way, :wave: all. My DW and I are headed to wdw for March break in a few weeks. We're planning a nice relaxing adult vacation. I enjoy reading your conversations and keeping track of how things are going in your lives even though I don't really belong as a regular poster.