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View Full Version : The great debate should we or shouldn't we go


sdoll
05-25-2008, 09:25 PM
I booked a 7 night trip to go during free dining. We are spoiled and have been lucky enough to go to Disney about every year for the past 4 years. We have already been once this year and decided since we knew we were coming back we would purchase the 10 day no expire tickets. I booked us at POP and our total for my family is a little over 700 dollars. Here is the kicker. My husband just got a new job he said he was going to tell them that we had a vacation already booked but he chickened out and did not ask. I love my husband dearly but he is one of those people that always puts his work first. (don't flame or think I am mean for the last 10 years we worked for the same company so I know the expectations) I admire his work ethic but we will be working for a long time I believe in taking a break and enjoying our kids while we can. So do you think I should push him to ask for the time off or just wait until next year.

rockyroad
05-25-2008, 09:31 PM
An employed husband is more important than a trip to
see the mouse.

If he didn't feel comfortable asking for time off, then perhaps he was picking up on their expectations and did the right thing.

asmit4
05-25-2008, 09:41 PM
Depends on the job. If he feels he can ask without issue, but he is still too nervous- then push him to ask. If he feels this new job is not a place he can ask for the time off, then he shouldn't.

I bet they will offer free DDP, or something similar next fall. Perhaps you could just wait til Sept. 2009 to go when he has been there longer.

shortbun
05-26-2008, 05:03 AM
If he didn't negotiate it with their original agreement, I'd leave it alone. He should be the barometer for that issue. Don't push it. Bank your trip money and plan again for next year.

JoyG
05-26-2008, 05:06 AM
In this economy I would say the job takes priority. I would reschedule your trip for another time.

dcfromva
05-26-2008, 06:19 AM
Here is the kicker. My husband just got a new job he said he was going to tell them that we had a vacation already booked but he chickened out and did not ask. I love my husband dearly but he is one of those people that always puts his work first. (don't flame or think I am mean for the last 10 years we worked for the same company so I know the expectations) I admire his work ethic but we will be working for a long time I believe in taking a break and enjoying our kids while we can. So do you think I should push him to ask for the time off or just wait until next year.

sdoll,
Is your vacation planned in Sept (4 months from now)? Is this a new job within the same company or a new company? Does your DH earn vacation time? Will your DH have earned enough vacation time to take a vacation? Does he want to go on this vacation? Could you possibly scale back your 7 nights vacation to something over a long weekend? Could you and the kids go 7 nights and your DH join you over a long weekend?

A lot depends on the answers to the questions above. If your DH does not want to go on this vacation (for whatever reason), I would not push him.

luv2nascar
05-26-2008, 06:30 AM
Is he entitled to vacation time then if not stay home and keep the job.

DawnM
05-26-2008, 06:39 AM
I agree with the other posters. He may have felt a vibe not to ask. I would talk to him again and ask him what he thinks he wants to do about this (will he ask later for the time off or does he want to cancel for this year?)

Disney will still be there next year.

Dawn

carj
05-26-2008, 07:26 AM
I guess you will have to figure out if he was picking up on the vibe of the employers or if he just doesn't want to take time off. My husband will not take time off unless practically forced to do so. He loves his job, works a ton and is perfectly happy. We has taken off from work 5 times in the entire 11 years that I have known him for more than a single day. He is going to lose about 10 days of vacation time in August but he is happy so I am not going to push it.

Here were the times he took off:
Honeymoon 2000
Broke both elbows AT WORK, he is in technology...long story, took off 2 days
Son born 2001, took off 2 days
Daughter born 2003
Vacation 2007 took off 3 days

This summer, in 27 days!!! we are going to Disney. He will be attending a conference for 4 of the 7 days that we are there so with the weekends, he is only actually taking off 1 day.

So...all I am saying is that you know your husband. If he is typically willing to take off and go on vacation, then don't push it. If he is more like my husband, you may have to encourage him a little more!;)

crisi
05-26-2008, 07:43 AM
I wouldn't.

Most people around here know that few "outsiders" understand "Disney every year" - and you are talking "Disney twice a year."

To expect a new employer to let you go for vacation AFTER you take the job is a big deal (appropriately, if he were going to ask, it should have been a condition of accepting the job - asking now is bad form - if he worked for me it would be a mark in the "no" column for getting through a probationary period - asking as part of acceptance is neutral). Having your coworkers discover the vacation you NEEDED to take was a repeat of the Disney vacation he tooke once this year already that he takes every year is likely to give him a reputation at work he doesn't want.

dvcgirl
05-26-2008, 07:46 AM
I agree, the time to ask for vacation time is during the interview process, not after the job has been offered and accepted. Asking for time off now could come across as sort of sneaky in my opinion. I wouldn't want to start off a new job under those circumstances.

RayJay
05-26-2008, 07:50 AM
I booked a 7 night trip to go during free dining. We are spoiled and have been lucky enough to go to Disney about every year for the past 4 years. We have already been once this year and decided since we knew we were coming back we would purchase the 10 day no expire tickets. I booked us at POP and our total for my family is a little over 700 dollars. Here is the kicker. My husband just got a new job he said he was going to tell them that we had a vacation already booked but he chickened out and did not ask. I love my husband dearly but he is one of those people that always puts his work first. (don't flame or think I am mean for the last 10 years we worked for the same company so I know the expectations) I admire his work ethic but we will be working for a long time I believe in taking a break and enjoying our kids while we can. So do you think I should push him to ask for the time off or just wait until next year.


I don't really see a problem with this, happens all the time at my company, and I and think that is the key, depends on the company.

If you think the company is flexible then go.

RayJay

eeyorethegreat
05-26-2008, 07:59 AM
I agree with the other posters these times are way to shaky to be putting a vacation before secure employment. You have been lucky to go every year the last 4 years count it as a blessing and plan for another trip when it makes the most sense for your family and less stressful for your husband. Someone else mentioned that your DH could earn a poor reputation far going on vacation so soon after taking a new job. That is not the environment he would want to work in and I am sure you wouldn't want him to either. Th next few months at this job is about proving his value to the new company you don't want to do anything to damage his perceived value. It's had to have to cancel a trip especially to WDW and especially if you have already told the kids but in this case other things need to take priorities. Plan a long weekend trip with your family closer to home you would be surprised the magical memories you can make even without Disney. It'll give you a chance to relax and enjoy each other and then you can start planning your next WDW trip when it is more convenient for everyone, you'll enjoy it more that way.

rie'smom
05-26-2008, 08:10 AM
Don't push him. He has to feel comfortable.
An alternative would be for you to go w/out him. I'm a SAHM and if DH is in a busy season or just can't get off work, my daughter and I go by ourselves. Her first trip was when she was not quite 3 and she and I went alone. We had a great time. She's 14 now and out of the 10 or so WD trips, DH has been on 4.

Cindy B
05-26-2008, 08:19 AM
Don't push him. He has to feel comfortable.
An alternative would be for you to go w/out him. I'm a SAHM and if DH is in a busy season or just can't get off work, my daughter and I go by ourselves. Her first trip was when she was not quite 3 and she and I went alone. We had a great time. She's 14 now and out of the 10 or so WD trips, DH has been on 4.

I was going to suggest that as well. What is to stop the 3 of them going? I'd do the same.. especially if the job situation is what it is.

ilovefh
05-26-2008, 08:19 AM
I'd say if he was just too nervous, why not just ask. Asking can't hurt. If he got the vibe that it was not alright then that is one thing, but if he is like me and was nervous during the interview, maybe he forgot. My Dfiance started a new job last August and forgot to ask about a vacation in Feb that was already planned and paid for. He asked after the fact and it was no problem. Now if you think they would fire you just for asking, then don't. But I don't see why just asking would be a problem. As long as it was asking and not telling. Why not say "My wife wants to take a vacation in Sept, I was wondering if I could get a few days off, if not no big deal."

victorandbellasmom
05-26-2008, 08:31 AM
I agree with some of the previous posters. If dh did not disclose the upcoming trip when he interviewed, then I'm not so sure if he should ask now. dcfromva gave you some good questions to ask yourself.

My dh started a new job this past September. When he interviewed for the job, he made sure to tell the new company that we had a trip to disneyland planned in the beginning of October and if they wanted him, he couldn't cancel his trip. His new company had no problem giving him a week off after only starting 3 weeks before. And surprisingly 2 ouf the 5 workdays he missed was paid vacation :yay: which we weren't expecting.

Disney will be there next year.

PatriciaH
05-26-2008, 09:53 AM
Should you tell the employer in the interview or when they make an offer? We were always told when they make the offer tell them about any vacation plans. I am starting a new job the first week of June and asked them when they made the offer if taking my trip to Europe was OK in September. I told them the job came first and if I had to cancel the trip I would. They told me I better take it, to enjoy and not to worry at all. I think I will really like working for this new place. :woohoo:

victorandbellasmom
05-26-2008, 10:18 AM
Should you tell the employer in the interview or when they make an offer? We were always told when they make the offer tell them about any vacation plans. I am starting a new job the first week of June and asked them when they made the offer if taking my trip to Europe was OK in September. I told them the job came first and if I had to cancel the trip I would. They told me I better take it, to enjoy and not to worry at all. I think I will really like working for this new place. :woohoo:

You're correct, tell them when they make an offer. Dh had a multiple interviews with his current company and i got confused as to when he told them. He did tell them when he got the offer and it wasn't a problem.

Kellydelly
05-26-2008, 10:25 AM
He can request the time off, if his new job includes vacation time. Why not? If they can't spare him that week, then cancel the trip. It doesn't hurt to ask! I personally feel life is short, enjoy it while you have your health and family intact!

sk!mom
05-26-2008, 11:17 AM
I would respect the fact that if he doesn't feel comfortable asking off at a new job then that's it. He's the one at work so he likely knows if it would possibly be a problem.

I would not nag.

ilovefh
05-26-2008, 11:28 AM
I would respect the fact that if he doesn't feel comfortable asking off at a new job then that's it. He's the one at work so he likely knows if it would possibly be a problem.

I would not nag.

I only say to ask because the OP's husband might be like me. i don't want to ask too much from a job because I am just nervous like that. For example I work full time at a middle school but wait tables part time. I have wanted Sundays off for a while but was afraid to ask. I didn't think it would be ok. But I got up the courage to ask, and guess who got Sundays off. It could be like me where my comfort level does not necessarily reflect what is going on at work. There have been many time friends/partners have pushed me to ask for something and I was glad that I did in the end.

sk!mom
05-26-2008, 11:29 AM
Should you tell the employer in the interview or when they make an offer? We were always told when they make the offer tell them about any vacation plans. I am starting a new job the first week of June and asked them when they made the offer if taking my trip to Europe was OK in September. I told them the job came first and if I had to cancel the trip I would. They told me I better take it, to enjoy and not to worry at all. I think I will really like working for this new place. :woohoo:

Yes, tell them up front. My Dh switched jobs about 6 years ago and he told them early on in the process that if he accepted their offer to start work in March they should know that we had two weeks in Europe booked for June.

They were cool with it. It actually established from the start how important DH's vacations were to him. In his case, more vacation time and the freedom to actually take the vacations without working while on vacation was a major factor in the job switch.

eeyoremum
05-26-2008, 02:00 PM
I would not go.

I know from experience. My DH started a new job, we had a vacation booked. He told them when he took the job he would take the time without pay of course since he was a new employee. The company wrote in there job offer letter that they were aware of the upcoming vacation. When we came back he was fired. He was told that he should have know he was not intitled to vacation time he was not there long enough.:confused3

So I would say don't go or just don't take DH.

Andrea
05-26-2008, 02:24 PM
now you guys have me thinking. I just started a new job april 8th and i didnt say anything about going on vaction, because one wasnt planned. Now I am thinking about going in September, do you guys think i should ask off or just wait ? After my 90 days I will have vaction time already.

sdoll
05-26-2008, 02:44 PM
I only say to ask because the OP's husband might be like me. i don't want to ask too much from a job because I am just nervous like that. For example I work full time at a middle school but wait tables part time. I have wanted Sundays off for a while but was afraid to ask. I didn't think it would be ok. But I got up the courage to ask, and guess who got Sundays off. It could be like me where my comfort level does not necessarily reflect what is going on at work. There have been many time friends/partners have pushed me to ask for something and I was glad that I did in the end.

I guess that is more my issue. He gets nervous and does not ask. I get frustrated because thats how he always is. Thats what I was saying when he would not ask for time off with his previous employer. We worked for the same company... He would get afraid to ask. Now I know this is different since its a new employer. I think I have decided to see what happens. I won't cancel it until the last days its not the end of the world if we don't go I just like to plan. I am just thankful he has a new job. And jealous too...

DVC Sadie
05-26-2008, 03:24 PM
I guess it would depend on the type of job he is working.

If the job is easily filled then, heck no, I wouldn't ask or talk about a vacation that was not already contracted or agreed upon. If he is working in a hard to fill job then go ahead and ask.

Without more information it really is hard to give advice because it all depends on the job, job market, area in which you live and if you need the money for day to day expenses.

ceecee
05-26-2008, 04:12 PM
He should have mentioned that he had a trip planned when they hired him. At this point, I would probably just wait as they will think he just planned it.

PatriciaH
05-26-2008, 04:56 PM
My sister is nervous like that about asking for any time off. I have not seen her in so long because she is afraid to take any time off. She even started a new job last October and I told her to take a vacation here before she started looking for any work-she forgot! My dad was like that too-he never used his vacation days.