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View Full Version : Can I do it with NO PLANNING?


TiggerandTink
05-13-2008, 03:18 PM
Ok so I have a trip in about 1 month and I'm going through planning withdrawal. :lmao:

I love to research and plan everything I can. That's just the way I am. I like to know that we are doing all we can and making the absolute most out of our vacation. My problem - this time I've been told I'm not in charge and no planning!! Can you believe it? :confused3

We are going with another family that has never been to DL before, all the more reason to plan if you ask me. But they are really laid back, no planning, dawdlers even, they are even slow walkers, kind of drives me nuts but I love em anyways. :lovestruc Mom was not sure that she really even wants to go to DL because her and hubby are not amusement park fans but she wants her girls to be able to go. So my hubby said that I can't plan anything and have to just go with their style for this trip. He even suggested I walk behind them so I am not hurrying them. UUUUGGGHHHHH, this is going to drive me crazy. I hope I can make it. I know its a month away but just thinking about all the lost time, missed events, long waits for rides, and whatever else my planning banned mind can think of, is enough to make me :scared1:

Jenn1116
05-13-2008, 03:24 PM
Maybe you can ask to hold on to everyone's hoppers. Then, while they are taking their time with breakfast or lunch, or during breaks you can run and grab FP as you excuse yourself to the restroom. :lmao:

Cinderlala
05-13-2008, 03:27 PM
I could not do it! It would kill me to just have to sit back & not be allowed the input I need to have! [Control issues? Who, me?:rolleyes1 ]

Maybe it will be enough just to be in the land of Dis....:thumbsup2

mommyof2boys1girl
05-13-2008, 03:30 PM
I don't want to rain on your parade, but this is the type of experience that could ruin a good friendship! I am a planner, and I could NOT, I repeat NOT take a trip where planning, schedules and routines were replaced by dawdling, taking one's time and lazing about!:rotfl:
Perhaps, to mitigate your frustration (assuming you are like me and would just fume in silence....), you could propose meeting places and then split up and do your own things? For example "let's agree to meet at the Plaza Inn for lunch at noon - we want to do FL while you and your girls to Princess Fantasy Faire...."? Would something like that work for you?

Otherwise, may the force be with you, b/c I would absolutely LOSE IT on a trip like that!

ps - ds proposed that we do a trip with his db, SIL and their 3 boys - totally the opposite of our family - sleep in late, no routine, eat when hungry, sleep when tired, never in a hurry kind of people. After seeing me at DL, he now admits that it would cause a family rift that would never be mended!:rolleyes:

disney-inspired
05-13-2008, 03:38 PM
I would just accompany them to the rides that they MUST ride (POTC, HM, Peter Pan, Indiana Jones, Space, BTMRR) and from there give them a park map, tell them about Fast Passes, and say "SEE YA!":hippie: . Let them explore the park at their boredom...*cough*leisure, while you do DL your way (planning is the way to go!):woohoo:

4Ollies
05-13-2008, 03:47 PM
We took my sister and her family to WDW with us last year. I'm the planner and my sister is the non planner. However, she didn't mind getting up and going which shocked me. Okay, she probably minded but she did it because she noticed the first day how different the crowd was from opening to about two hours later.

I would probably plan just in case they are more open to it than your DH thinks. At the very least, I would NOT give up being there at opening.

Good luck!

Lollipop's Mom
05-13-2008, 03:48 PM
I think I could do DL with no planning - its smaller and not as much involved as a trip to WDW. I couldn't give up control on a WDW vacation though with dining ressies and stuff.
I recently did a trip with my best friend and her son (not disney) and I said right from the beginning 'There is stuff we want to do that you won't and vice versa, so lets plan the stuff we do want ....ok so A, B & C things we will plan for Sat/Sun together and D, E & F things we will plan to be on our own on Mon/Tues and catch you at the hotel later'.
It worked well as they are different type of vacationers to us - they have to be go go go seeing everything, whereas we like to do stuff, but also take an afternoon by the pool to relax. I found being upfront really worked.

audrabolster
05-13-2008, 03:53 PM
I've done trips both ways before, but never with a group of people that were the opposite of me. I would imagine it will have it's moments of tension...

I almost prefer the non-planning though. I like wandering through the park at our leisure and taking everything in without "omg we have to get there sooo early so we can run around like madmen getting everything done in fantastyland!" I'd almost rather wait in the lines.

I think both systems work well, but mixing the two together? eep!

wendylady36
05-13-2008, 03:55 PM
Slow walkers drive me insane, especially in Disneyland. I guess it's because I come from a family that walks really fast. Hopefully being in Disneyland will be enough to keep you sane :upsidedow

Vacation Dad
05-13-2008, 04:25 PM
You can be the runner to go and get fastpasses. This way they won’t have to do the extra walking, and when they do want to go on some rides you can bypass a few of the long lines. And since you will be the one taking these occasional side trips, you can grab a churro whenever you want.

pixiewings71
05-13-2008, 04:44 PM
We don't plan our trips usually, we just take the day as it comes. We do plan but not every little detail. I hope you guys can find a good balance, I do like the suggestion of doing your own thing for a while, then you can have something to look forward to and it may help you relax. :) Have fun!!

TravelinGal
05-13-2008, 04:58 PM
I can't imagine paying that kind of money for a trip and not planning!

I say give them a choice - follow your plan without complaining or dwaddling - or - just meet up once in a while for meals etc.

That said, DL does not need as much planning as WDW. So there is a LITTLE room for slowing down there. (depending on how many days you're there anyway)

For me, planning @ DL means being aware of the popular rides/what ones have fast passes and knowing what time commitiment I want to put into any given ride for a wait. It's a good idea to have sit down meals planned because the restaurants can be tricky to get into during a busy time - or any weekend!

tinkerbelt
05-13-2008, 05:00 PM
Could you split up with them for a bit? Give everyone their own time off - that way you can get a few hours of planned activities in. We do this when we go with friends occasionally, and it works well, especially when people want to do different things.

ORMom2Four
05-13-2008, 05:16 PM
I JUST got back (Saturday) from a week long trip with my family and my sister's family (her, her Dh and their 4 kids). They also had never been to Disneyland, while we have been several times.

We found it much easier to split up. They are more laid back too. There was even one day they walked into Disneyland, and left 10 minutes later to take in a MOVIE! (you may gasp in horror here)

It was also very hard to decide where we were going next with so many opinions at once! We decided early on it was best to split up, then meet for an hour or two, then split up again.

I would try to plan what you are going to do with your family, and give the other family ideas of what rides they should not miss.

During the trip, I realized that each family has their own style to Disney. My sister even took in the Whoopi show in CA and said they said they liked it. (we have never bothered with it) The magic will hit them, especially if they do it their way. Today at McD's with my sister, while our kids were playing, she said to me, "I want to go back to Disneyland, like, next week!"

TiggerandTink
05-13-2008, 05:33 PM
I have suggested that we may have to split up and agree to meet at certain places after say 2 or 3 hours so I am hoping that if I get to frustrated with the slow approach that this will work.

Its good to know that I am not the only one that would find this frustrating though! Great suggestions for finding ways around without "planning". I usually use my husband as the fast pass runner but it may just have to be me this trip to keep my sanity!!

canadianmommyof2
05-13-2008, 07:11 PM
There was even one day they walked into Disneyland, and left 10 minutes later to take in a MOVIE! (you may gasp in horror here)




That is crazy! :scared1:

tinkerbelt
05-13-2008, 07:32 PM
I have suggested that we may have to split up and agree to meet at certain places after say 2 or 3 hours so I am hoping that if I get to frustrated with the slow approach that this will work.


This is what we do. Also, "DD really really wants to go on this ride, and I know that your DD doesn't like it. Would you mind if I took her, and then we can meet up outside whatever ride you want to go on when we are all done?". That one works really well for us. My DD likes the "big kid" rides, and her little best friend doesn't -- and DD doesn't like some of the rides that her friend likes. So when we go together, we will let the girls pick a ride or two that they want to go on, and we split them up for a bit. It works well - it allows us to go to DL with friends, but it also allows everyone to do things they want, without forcing everyone else along.

Cinderlala
05-13-2008, 07:41 PM
Splitting up is a very good idea. :)

It allows everyone to move at their own pace. And, I've found that trying to do Disneyland with a big group is often unwieldy---with a lot of lingering & time spent on decision making. ;)

Leofoenget
05-13-2008, 07:56 PM
Ok so I have a trip in about 1 month and I'm going through planning withdrawal. :lmao:

I love to research and plan everything I can. That's just the way I am. I like to know that we are doing all we can and making the absolute most out of our vacation. My problem - this time I've been told I'm not in charge and no planning!! Can you believe it? :confused3

We are going with another family that has never been to DL before, all the more reason to plan if you ask me. But they are really laid back, no planning, dawdlers even, they are even slow walkers, kind of drives me nuts but I love em anyways. :lovestruc Mom was not sure that she really even wants to go to DL because her and hubby are not amusement park fans but she wants her girls to be able to go. So my hubby said that I can't plan anything and have to just go with their style for this trip. He even suggested I walk behind them so I am not hurrying them. UUUUGGGHHHHH, this is going to drive me crazy. I hope I can make it. I know its a month away but just thinking about all the lost time, missed events, long waits for rides, and whatever else my planning banned mind can think of, is enough to make me :scared1:

I couldn't do it. I'm going with my sister in law and she keeps saying she wants to "take it all in and go slow" not with me baby. I didn't come all the way over here to wonder in circles. My sister is like that. Take your time to wonder in, take it slow complain that the lines are too long. ( well duh if you hurried a little you could get more done) Why are you going with these people again?? :headache:

ironpig70
05-13-2008, 08:00 PM
we are on pace of about 1 trip every 2 years and its kinda $$$ to take a family of 5 as most know. so i plan out our trips not to the point of hour by hour but we know the drill. i know i couldn't just wander behind some folks who have never been or who are not fans.

ballarinamom
05-13-2008, 09:36 PM
Maybe make some PS at some restaurants without telling them. Then if everything is crowded and everyone is hungry- SURPRISE!!! You can always cancel the PS

bumbershoot
05-13-2008, 10:25 PM
Well, I don't really like what your husband is telling you...sounds like he's using this trip to get something that maybe HE wants.

But you can plan, yet not make it very obvious, and you will all have a better trip for it. I mean, some things you can't obliterate from your head, like FP and how you can use it after the time is up, or if you turn left instead of right you have a better chance of lower lines (go to Indy while everyone else is heading to Space), or to avoid lunch lines at noon. And there are other things you can find out about the family, things they might want to do, and you can figure out when it would be best to do them, then have little "ideas" every so often about what you could do next.

Basically, whenever they want to stop and look at a map (in the middle of a walkway), look at it fast and come up with "ooh I have an idea, let's do" whatever you think is best to do at that time. That way you're just giving suggestions to a suggestable crowd, and you haven't planned their day.

Now about the walking slow, I don't know how you deal with that, it drives me nuts. Until I want to walk slow. :rotfl: Then again, I think that just knowing where you're going gives you an advantage even if you're getting there slower than you want to...

TiggerandTink
05-14-2008, 01:08 AM
Yeah the slow walking thing is a big annoyance for me, but I promise to try and be good about it. :rolleyes1

We vacation with these people every year but a lot of times it is just the adults and we do Vegas. They walk slow there too but we are used to it there and the slot machines don't close and there are no lines to wait in, if a machine or table is full, you just move to the next one. :rotfl:

So anyway this year we couldn't afford 2 vacations like we normally do (1 adults only and 1 for just my family) so we decided to combine the two and do one family trip to Disneyland. I thought she was all on board with it but lately she is saying things like "I just can't get excited about this trip, maybe when it gets closer, but I'm sure the girls will have fun". Excuse me, how can you not get excited for Disneyland! And of course the girls will have fun!! And it took me a while to get her to book a hotel because she actually thought we could just drive down there and pick a hotel when we got there. HELLO!! She really doesn't get it does she.

The more I think about it the more the splitting the groups up sounds good/doable, without hurting anyones feelings. They have 2 girls, 11 and 6 1/2. The younger one is very small stature so she may not be able to do many of the bigger rides, while her older sister loves the big rides. It may work to split up and say we will take the older one with us to do one or two of the bigger rides while you do something with the younger one. And maybe my youngest would want to stay with them, who knows.

I have to say that just talking about this has calmed my fears a bit. I think I can still do some "suggesting" without them feeling like their day is planned out as Bumpershoot pointed out.

Thanks you guys.

Califgirl
05-14-2008, 11:16 AM
If you are used to Vegas vacations, perhaps your friend would like to spend some time in DTD shopping? Or perhaps at the Grove, which is still opening stores and restaurants. I know that doesn't solve the Disneyland dillema for you, but it might be something your friend would enjoy, and this is everyone's vacation. Then maybe she would be more willing to go along with your Disney plans.

The one key thing with planning a trip with non-planners is to pick one 'land' and do all or most of the attractions there. I know that sounds obvious to Disney people, but her family might want to run from Space Mountain to Indy, to the Matterhorn, to Big Thunder and then to Splash. That's a lot of criss-crossing the park, taking up time and making everyone extra tired. Try to guide them to the other attractions in that land, since you're passing right by them anyway. ;)

They have 2 girls, 11 and 6 1/2. The younger one is very small stature so she may not be able to do many of the bigger rides, while her older sister loves the big rides. It may work to split up and say we will take the older one with us to do one or two of the bigger rides while you do something with the younger one.
How close in age are these girls to your children? I think the younger girl might feel quite left out if she's not able to go with 'the girls' especially her big sister. Would it bother you to ride some smaller rides or is it all thrill rides for your family? Can you teach her parents about 'kid swap' for things she doesn't want to or can't ride? It might slow you down a little more, but it would be a kindness to share some Disney secrets like that with your friends.

How long are you staying? Is there enough time to show your friends the 'lay of the land' and then let them on their own for a bit? I would suggest to them to take a Walk in Walts Footsteps tour, or some other tour that gives them some Disney background. But then, I love tours (and I go to Disneyland all the time!)

Try to relax and slow down. There are lots of people involved in this trip, I'm sure there will be lots of compromises from everyone.
Enjoy the magic!

geetey
05-19-2008, 07:34 AM
Well, if you are like my family, they don't expect you to plan every trip but you should "know" - especially when it comes to Disney! :lmao: So I would go ahead and do the planning but not to the point of having a 'ride by ride' list and printing it on small cards to carry in your pocket. Not that I would do something like that..... :rolleyes1 :blush:

MPHARJ
05-19-2008, 08:30 AM
I would have to agree with the other posters, you need to have some split time. Do some things with them and others apart. I think if you stay together the entire trip, it will put a strain on the relationship. We all do things our way and when you put 2 families together that are different there will be some tension. Let them enjoy the parks their way and on their own for some time. I admit I have no plans this year for our DL trip, I do not plan everything, I only plan our meals which are already scheduled and the days we are doing which park. I do plan on being up early to get into the parks first thing, doing what we want until it gets really crowded then relaxing at the pool and going to dinner then back in to close it down. We plan on using FP like last year and just enjoying what we really want to go on and see. Since we have almost 6 days there we will have plenty of time with out rushing. At WDW I plan a bit differently and plan our meals at the parks we will be at and which park which day as well as the EMH. However having gone there every year for the past 7 years it is also where we hit what we really love and things we may not have done for awhile. Good luck and Ihope you can compromise with them for some shared and seperate time!

disneychrista
05-19-2008, 02:41 PM
Have you talked to the other adults? Asked them if they would like you to do some advance planning, etc?

bopper
05-19-2008, 02:54 PM
Some ideas:

If they don't want to get the park early, tell them you will meet them their and they can call you when they get to the park.

Since mom doesn't really want to do Disneyland, why not offer to take her kids one of the afternoons?

See if you can stealth plan...kind of steer them in the right direction. "One of the big rides you have to do is Pirates of the Caribbean. Why don't we get fast passes for that then we can come back and do that whenever you want with almost no line. After we get the passes we can go to (some nearby ride 1 or some nearby ride 2), Your choice.

So you look like you are making things more flexible and giving them choices.

If they don't want to make reservations, can you make some anyway and then act like that is where you want to go? "You know, I think the girls would really enjoy eating at Blue Bayou. They get to watch the pirate ships go by! Why don't we see if we can get in." Meanwhile you already have ressies.

This is really just a personality type difference. For as annoying it is to you to have everything open, they feel trapped by having it planned. That is why I am suggesting giving them the illusion of having everything open.

TiggerandTink
05-19-2008, 07:18 PM
Thank you all for the ideas and the support!

Bopper I think you offered/summed up quite a few gems that I may take with me.

If they don't want to get the park early, tell them you will meet them their and they can call you when they get to the park.
This would actually be great. My family could do the fast and furious touring in the early morning and then we could all slow down and meet them mid morning without feeling like we are missing stuff or that we are rushing them. I may find a way to "suggest" this for the 2nd or 3rd days we are there. I know the first day we will all want to be together to start our adventure!


See if you can stealth plan...kind of steer them in the right direction. "One of the big rides you have to do is Pirates of the Caribbean. Why don't we get fast passes for that then we can come back and do that whenever you want with almost no line. After we get the passes we can go to (some nearby ride 1 or some nearby ride 2), Your choice..
This definitely sounds doable. I do something similar with my kids now to help guide them to choices that are acceptable but still allowing them to make the final decision. ;)


This is really just a personality type difference. For as annoying it is to you to have everything open, they feel trapped by having it planned. That is why I am suggesting giving them the illusion of having everything open.
This is actually a great thing for me to keep in mind! As much as there vacation style is not mine, mine is not theirs either. :hug: And we do all have fun when we are together so I am confident that everything will work out in the end.

TiggerandTink
05-19-2008, 07:27 PM
How close in age are these girls to your children? I think the younger girl might feel quite left out if she's not able to go with 'the girls' especially her big sister. Would it bother you to ride some smaller rides or is it all thrill rides for your family? Can you teach her parents about 'kid swap' for things she doesn't want to or can't ride? It might slow you down a little more, but it would be a kindness to share some Disney secrets like that with your friends.
...
Try to relax and slow down. There are lots of people involved in this trip, I'm sure there will be lots of compromises from everyone.
Enjoy the magic!

I am sure that we will all want to do some of the smaller rides, I mean who doesn't love Fantasy Land? I know we all do! :love: So I definitely think that there will be lots that we can do together but I know that there will be times where the smallest of us will either not want to do something or will not be able to. But as you said I think if we all compromise we can come up with a solution. Like maybe if the bigger ones want to do a ride that she can't then the dad's can take them and both of us mom's can take her to do something special. Or we can mix and match the groups up so that no one feels left out but everyone has something they want to do.

And we will be in Disneyland :cloud9: where they have never been before and where magic happens, and we get to show it to them!! pixiedust: How GREAT is that!!! I bet I am excited enough for all of us and I know we will have a wonderful time.
:wave2: