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View Full Version : Pregnant ladies treated mean - any stories?


janey99
04-13-2008, 08:54 AM
I got back from some business travel last week, and I've been musing about these 2 incidents -

I am 34 weeks pregnant (so last week I was 33 . . .) (in other words, no secret there's a baby in there!). I was traveling with a colleague who is equally as pregnant. Both of these incidents were outside the US, but involved Americans.

In the first, we had to take a fairly long train ride (over an hour). We boarded the train with about 5 other colleagues, and it was crowded. The seats were configured 4 seats facing each other, and there was one set of 4 that was unoccupied because someone had put 2 suitcases in the "aisle" between the 4 seats. My PG colleague was "last woman standing" without a seat" and she looked around the train car and said (very nicely - she is incredibly sweet and unassuming) "do these cases belong to someone?" a couple of times. No one answered. Our other colleagues started telling her, just push them out of the way and sit down, and she said she didn't want to touch somebody else's things. After a couple of minutes of silence, this woman who was sitting right across the aisle from the cases spoke up and said "those are my suitcases and I'm not moving them!"

Our other colleagues spoke up, and started saying things like "can't you see how pregnant she is - she needs a seat, please move them . . " but the woman turned her head and totally ignored them. Finally, our colleagues took turns standing in the aisle for the whole train ride so she and I could have seats for the whole time.

In the second incident, I was by myself. I had checked out of the hotel, and was waiting for my car to the airport. I had some time, so I went into the hotel restaurant for some lunch. The hostess was leading me to a small table, and the only way to get there was to squeeze between the bar and a pillar. The hostess squeezed through fine, but I couldn't quite make it with my GIANT stomach. There was a woman sitting on a bar stool who was contributing to the tightness of the space. I stood there a second but she didn't move. The hostess said "ma'am, could you pull your stool in so this lady can get through?" The woman loked right at her and said "no!" The hostess was gobsmacked! She backed through the space again, and led me to another table for 4, which she put me at all by myself, apologizing profusely.

Now, I am the last person to ever think pregnant woman are sick or afflicted and need special treatment because they are delicate flowers, but in both these situations, it seems that all that was required was common courtesy. I was really shocked at the rudeness. Why would people act like that?

Anyone else have similar stories?

Jane

roliepolieoliefan
04-13-2008, 09:06 AM
All I can say is Wow! I have no idea. :confused3

DebRMN
04-13-2008, 09:07 AM
wow some people are just very rude & who knows maybe jealous....like maybe they are mean to PG (this pertains to rude women) because they could never have children??? WHO KNOWS...but it is SO wrong!

I guess I could see if it was someone from that country as we are not always 'welcome', or a favorite, in other countries.....not that it makes it ok. It is still downright rude to not have moved the suitcases. It is public transportation......

lady browning
04-13-2008, 09:20 AM
Reminds me of a funny learning lesson for my two boys last year at Disney while on the monorail. We were glad to get into the monorail AC one evening after a long day at the parks. My two boys plopped down on the last seating area available....until the next stop. This elderly woman and I assume her very pregnant granddaughter stepped on board. Noone else in the monorail moved to allow them to sit down! I was appalled at the men, including my husband who is usually very gallant, but oblivious this time around! I looked at my oldest son (age 10) with that "Mother" look and nodded toward the ladies, my son got right up and dragged his 7 yo brother with him and offered his seat to the ladies in question. They were very pleased and took their seats. I then proceeded to publicly thank my son for being the ONLY gentleman on the monorail that night! That got my DH's attention for sure. After that, my DS would always offer his seat the rest of the trip trying to outdo Dad every time!

BKMETV
04-13-2008, 09:30 AM
Reminds me of a funny learning lesson for my two boys last year at Disney while on the monorail. We were glad to get into the monorail AC one evening after a long day at the parks. My two boys plopped down on the last seating area available....until the next stop. This elderly woman and I assume her very pregnant granddaughter stepped on board. Noone else in the monorail moved to allow them to sit down! I was appalled at the men, including my husband who is usually very gallant, but oblivious this time around! I looked at my oldest son (age 10) with that "Mother" look and nodded toward the ladies, my son got right up and dragged his 7 yo brother with him and offered his seat to the ladies in question. They were very pleased and took their seats. I then proceeded to publicly thank my son for being the ONLY gentleman on the monorail that night! That got my DH's attention for sure. After that, my DS would always offer his seat the rest of the trip trying to outdo Dad every time!


Thanks to a mom like you there will be two more considerate gentlemen out there in the future. :goodvibes

Aliceacc
04-13-2008, 09:55 AM
I teach in a large high school, and I must say that our kids are normally wonderful, really wonderful kids.

BUT....

One of our teachers was about 35 weeks pregnant at the time: she and I share the same kids for SAT prep. At one point, she apologized to the class. It seems that her 8th period class is across the building, and she was a minute or so late to class because she had to hurry through crowded halls.

One of the kids had the unmitigated gall to tell her that he's overweight but still manages to get to class on time.

From what I understand, the kids were completely silent. She was mortified, mumbled an apology, and started class.

When I heard the story, I pulled Joe aside between classes. I let him know, in a voice that would carry, that there was a HUGE difference between eating too many Twinkies and having a PERSON inside you!!!

I don't think he seriously had considered what he had said to a pregnant teacher. He apologized to me, then to her, then told me he had apologized to her.

So we'll call it a "teachable moment."

skmommy
04-13-2008, 10:16 AM
OP-- I probably would have either dumped the woman's suitcases in her lap or looked for an "official" who could have taken care of the situation. I suspect that behavior like this is at least partially responsible for the rest of the world's perception that Americans are rude and lazy in general. There is no excuse for that type of behavior.

Mocharilla
04-13-2008, 10:26 AM
I got back from some business travel last week, and I've been musing about these 2 incidents -

I am 34 weeks pregnant (so last week I was 33 . . .) (in other words, no secret there's a baby in there!). I was traveling with a colleague who is equally as pregnant. Both of these incidents were outside the US, but involved Americans.

In the first, we had to take a fairly long train ride (over an hour). We boarded the train with about 5 other colleagues, and it was crowded. The seats were configured 4 seats facing each other, and there was one set of 4 that was unoccupied because someone had put 2 suitcases in the "aisle" between the 4 seats. My PG colleague was "last woman standing" without a seat" and she looked around the train car and said (very nicely - she is incredibly sweet and unassuming) "do these cases belong to someone?" a couple of times. No one answered. Our other colleagues started telling her, just push them out of the way and sit down, and she said she didn't want to touch somebody else's things. After a couple of minutes of silence, this woman who was sitting right across the aisle from the cases spoke up and said "those are my suitcases and I'm not moving them!"

Our other colleagues spoke up, and started saying things like "can't you see how pregnant she is - she needs a seat, please move them . . " but the woman turned her head and totally ignored them. Finally, our colleagues took turns standing in the aisle for the whole train ride so she and I could have seats for the whole time.

In the second incident, I was by myself. I had checked out of the hotel, and was waiting for my car to the airport. I had some time, so I went into the hotel restaurant for some lunch. The hostess was leading me to a small table, and the only way to get there was to squeeze between the bar and a pillar. The hostess squeezed through fine, but I couldn't quite make it with my GIANT stomach. There was a woman sitting on a bar stool who was contributing to the tightness of the space. I stood there a second but she didn't move. The hostess said "ma'am, could you pull your stool in so this lady can get through?" The woman loked right at her and said "no!" The hostess was gobsmacked! She backed through the space again, and led me to another table for 4, which she put me at all by myself, apologizing profusely.

Now, I am the last person to ever think pregnant woman are sick or afflicted and need special treatment because they are delicate flowers, but in both these situations, it seems that all that was required was common courtesy. I was really shocked at the rudeness. Why would people act like that?

Anyone else have similar stories?

Jane

Wow! That's absolutely horrible! I don't really have any stories like that from when I was pg, but I feel so sorry for you in those cases! As if it's not horrible enough to feel so crappy!:sad2:

Reminds me of a funny learning lesson for my two boys last year at Disney while on the monorail. We were glad to get into the monorail AC one evening after a long day at the parks. My two boys plopped down on the last seating area available....until the next stop. This elderly woman and I assume her very pregnant granddaughter stepped on board. Noone else in the monorail moved to allow them to sit down! I was appalled at the men, including my husband who is usually very gallant, but oblivious this time around! I looked at my oldest son (age 10) with that "Mother" look and nodded toward the ladies, my son got right up and dragged his 7 yo brother with him and offered his seat to the ladies in question. They were very pleased and took their seats. I then proceeded to publicly thank my son for being the ONLY gentleman on the monorail that night! That got my DH's attention for sure. After that, my DS would always offer his seat the rest of the trip trying to outdo Dad every time!

That is so sweet! You're definatly raising those boys right!:thumbsup2

I teach in a large high school, and I must say that our kids are normally wonderful, really wonderful kids.

BUT....

One of our teachers was about 35 weeks pregnant at the time: she and I share the same kids for SAT prep. At one point, she apologized to the class. It seems that her 8th period class is across the building, and she was a minute or so late to class because she had to hurry through crowded halls.

One of the kids had the unmitigated gall to tell her that he's overweight but still manages to get to class on time.

From what I understand, the kids were completely silent. She was mortified, mumbled an apology, and started class.

When I heard the story, I pulled Joe aside between classes. I let him know, in a voice that would carry, that there was a HUGE difference between eating too many Twinkies and having a PERSON inside you!!!

I don't think he seriously had considered what he had said to a pregnant teacher. He apologized to me, then to her, then told me he had apologized to her.

So we'll call it a "teachable moment."

Wow! I'm glad you had a talk with him. Maybe he should learn a lesson from Lady Browning's kids! :rotfl:

delmar411
04-13-2008, 10:48 AM
no terrible pregnant stories but for the OP I would have not so gently tossed the bags out of the way and sat down. I hold zero tolerance for ppl thinking their luggage gets a seat. ;) That was very nice of your co-workers to let you 2 have the seats though.

I saw a lot of eye contact avoiding on the buses this past week when they were full. Too many ppl not giving up their seats to ppl who needed them. :sad2:

janey99
04-13-2008, 10:53 AM
wow some people are just very rude & who knows maybe jealous....like maybe they are mean to PG (this pertains to rude women) because they could never have children??? WHO KNOWS...but it is SO wrong!

After the woman refused to move, all of us were sitting there chatting (quite loudly!) about the unmitigated rudeness of some people, and a couple of women did say that on the rare occasion someone had treated them badly during a pregnancy, it was another woman! Who knows why that would be true?:confused3

I guess I could see if it was someone from that country as we are not always 'welcome', or a favorite, in other countries.....not that it makes it ok. It is still downright rude to not have moved the suitcases. It is public transportation......

"OP-- I probably would have either dumped the woman's suitcases in her lap or looked for an "official" who could have taken care of the situation. I suspect that behavior like this is at least partially responsible for the rest of the world's perception that Americans are rude and lazy in general. There is no excuse for that type of behavior."

"no terrible pregnant stories but for the OP I would have not so gently tossed the bags out of the way and sat down. I hold zero tolerance for ppl thinking their luggage gets a seat. That was very nice of your co-workers to let you 2 have the seats though."


I usually ride on NJ transit trains for my daily commute. I have observed a few situations on crowded trains where someone has taken up seats with luggage. Usually people with luggage are not "regulars" and regular commuters are quite vocal about telling them to move their stuff. Usually a conductor shows up before it turns into a fistfight, but they are pretty harsh too - seats are for people, move your cr*p! Sometimes people will say "I can't move it - it's too heavy!" NO MERCY - the conductors always say, "you got it onto that seat, GET IT OFF so people can sit down!"

Jane

janey99
04-13-2008, 10:56 AM
So we'll call it a "teachable moment."

It seems like so many more grown-ups need "teachable moments" these days!:headache:

Jane

DisneyCrazyX5
04-13-2008, 12:07 PM
I just wondered why the PG colleague was the last one standing. Why wasn't she one of the first one in the group to have a seat. Then a non PG person could have been the one fighting for a seat.
I do agree it was very rude and my sons always give their seat up for a woman, in any condition. The last time we had to wait at a restuarant I had an 8 year old on each knees, so others could have a seat.

LisaZoe
04-13-2008, 12:14 PM
It actually sounds to me like these weren't specifically targeted at pregnant women but rather 2 instances of inconsiderate people who think they are the most important ones in any situation. No wonder so many people in other countries are irritate by "ugly Americans" and aren't referring to our looks.

dogluva
04-13-2008, 12:31 PM
Just want to say that not all teachers take advantage of "teachable moments". When I was 8 months pregnant with my daughter 16 years ago, I was subbing at a high school. During an assembly of some sort I had no seat. About twenty men teachers sat there and would not make eye contact with me. To top it off it was mid June, right before school got out and about 100 degrees in the room. I was actually sick as well from having low iron levels (didn't know it at the time) and felt like I was going to pass out. I made it but that is all I could imagine was an ambulance having to pull up to the school for me. I was totally disgusted. My husband would have given up his seat to a lady, never mind a pregnant one. My boys are being raised the same way.

I would have thrown those suitcases on the floor. She paid for a seat, she should have a seat.

Topo Bella
04-13-2008, 12:32 PM
I think the problem has less to do with the OP being pregnant than the fact that people can be horribly rude. It just becomes more obvious how rude people can be when you are pregnant and a little kindness means so much.

While pregnant with my first child, I commuted to work by train, 90 minutes each way. I will never forget one time the train was particularly crowded and I had to stand in the aisle. All the men around me pretended not to see me and my 8 month pregnant belly. Finally, a woman stood up and gave me her seat, making mention of the fact that there were clearly no "gentlemen" in the car.

This is not about special treatment for women, pregnant or otherwise, but basic human kindness. I would give up my seat to a man with an injury without giving it a second thought.

MiniGirl
04-13-2008, 12:52 PM
Reminds me of a funny learning lesson for my two boys last year at Disney while on the monorail. We were glad to get into the monorail AC one evening after a long day at the parks. My two boys plopped down on the last seating area available....until the next stop. This elderly woman and I assume her very pregnant granddaughter stepped on board. Noone else in the monorail moved to allow them to sit down! I was appalled at the men, including my husband who is usually very gallant, but oblivious this time around! I looked at my oldest son (age 10) with that "Mother" look and nodded toward the ladies, my son got right up and dragged his 7 yo brother with him and offered his seat to the ladies in question. They were very pleased and took their seats. I then proceeded to publicly thank my son for being the ONLY gentleman on the monorail that night! That got my DH's attention for sure. After that, my DS would always offer his seat the rest of the trip trying to outdo Dad every time!

My dds are 8 and 6. Do you belive in arranged marriages? :lmao: Seriously, as a mom to girls, I love when I see young boys acting this way, and of course, I love that sometimes when my dh and I aren't always pleased with each other, he still treats me well as an example to how their future husbands should treat them.

To the OP, I'm sorry all this happened. People never cease to amaze me.

Nee Nee and Biddy
04-13-2008, 12:59 PM
When I was 30 weeks pregnant with our first child we went to WDW. Every night on the very crowded buses I would have to stand while men pretended not to see me. The only time someone offered me a seat it was a woman. I agree that it is a basic human kindness that is lacking in some people. I would give my seat to anyone who looked like they needed it!

Last week my sister and I visited a local theme park with our 4 kids and there was a young woman on her own with a baby and a stroller trying to get on to the tram to the parking lot on her own. People were actually pushing her out of the way so they could get in front of her! She could barely hold the baby and the stroller to hoist it up on the tram. I grabbed her stroller and yelled at my sister to save her a seat...we jumped in front of the rude people to our saved seat. This girl was so thankful and nice.

I've been on my own with children and hugely pregnant and people just don't help anyone anymore. Once at a restaurant I was struggling to get my 14 month old in a high chair while pregnant and the people behind the counter were LAUGHING at me saying "that lady needs some help"! The world would be a better place if we all helped each other out a little more.

MiniGirl
04-13-2008, 01:09 PM
It actually sounds to me like these weren't specifically targeted at pregnant women but rather 2 instances of inconsiderate people who think they are the most important ones in any situation. No wonder so many people in other countries are irritate by "ugly Americans" and aren't referring to our looks.


I'm sorry, Lisa. I'm confused. Are you saying it was the Americans, in this instance, living up to the "ugly American" image? With the exceptions of the OP's colleagues who should have never allowed to pregnant women to be the last people standing -- meaning they not sit down until the women have seats -- I don't see that. Don't misunderstand. I'm not saying Americans don't have this reputation, but I don't see this as an assalt on Americans. I just see it as proof that common courtesy is fading worldwide. How sad.

roxannex
04-13-2008, 01:12 PM
People were a lot nicer to me when I was pregnant than when I had an infant. I think as soon as you become a mom you become totally invisible.

MiniGirl
04-13-2008, 01:17 PM
People were a lot nicer to me when I was pregnant than when I had an infant. I think as soon as you become a mom you become totally invisible.


I think that is because, in your case, people have that adorable little red head to look at. It is easy to see how they couldn't stop looking at him to see you. He really is a cutie. :goodvibes

nessz79
04-13-2008, 01:17 PM
I've had experiences with people of all types (men and women) being rude while I was either noticeably pregnant or had two children under 2. I've had doors closed instead of held open while I've struggled with a stroller or was "waddling" to the door (I waddled, I'm not saying all pregnant women do, but I did! LOL).

Etc, etc.

I have to say, though, that the majority of people are polite and helpful.

I agree that it's out there, OP. I think that teaching manners to our children is so important, but I think it happens less and less.

LisaZoe
04-13-2008, 01:24 PM
I'm sorry, Lisa. I'm confused. Are you saying it was the Americans, in this instance, living up to the "ugly American" image? With the exceptions of the OP's colleagues who should have never allowed to pregnant women to be the last people standing -- meaning they not sit down until the women have seats -- I don't see that. Don't misunderstand. I'm not saying Americans don't have this reputation, but I don't see this as an assalt on Americans. I just see it as proof that common courtesy is fading worldwide. How sad.

I interpreted this to mean the people being inconsiderate were Americans as well:

I am 34 weeks pregnant (so last week I was 33 . . .) (in other words, no secret there's a baby in there!). I was traveling with a colleague who is equally as pregnant. Both of these incidents were outside the US, but involved Americans.

Unfortunately, rudeness is not just something that afflicts a few Americans - it can show up for any nationality.

Aliceacc
04-13-2008, 01:40 PM
This is one of those incredibly important things that we need to teach our kids!!!!

We're pretty good abut attending Church regularly. I'll never forget last Easter. We got there a bit later than usual, and got just 2 seats on the aisle. So my husband and son stood, while I took one seat, with my then-4 year old on my lap, and my daughter got the other one-- for about 5 minutes. Then an elderly couple walked in-- the woman walked with the use of a cane. As hard as it was for me to believe, my 2 daughters and I got up and gave them our seats. We were half way up the aisle-- they passed an awful lot of able bodied people who weren't holding kids.

I honestly was glad to give up our seats-- I couldn't have sat there in good conscience while these elderly people stood. My kids and I have been blessed with good health; there's no reason we can't stand for an hour. But I was amazed at the number of people IN CHURCH who didn't show basic kindness for these two people.

It makes you wonder about people and their priorities. Did the thought honestly not occur to any of these people, or were those seats THEIRS because they got to church first??

I hope to God that my kids are learning compassion and courtesy.

amarberry
04-13-2008, 01:40 PM
I think that the way the OP and her colleague were treated was horrible. However, I have to disagree with the general sentiment that only men and boys should be obliged to give up their seats. As a healthy woman, I will most certainly and happily give up my seat too if I see someone who is pregnant, a small child, an elderly person, etc...you get the drift. When my kids are older, I would expect my son AND my daughter to do the same! It's all about manners.

When we were at WDW last May and I was visably pregnant (5.5 months along) with my son, there were a couple of times when I gave up my seat for little kids because no one else would. I know that people have invisable disabilities (for example, on this trip my mother was along and has bad knees, which is why I left her sitting with my DD on her lap while I stood), but I highly doubt that everyone sitting on the bus fell into that category.

janey99
04-13-2008, 01:55 PM
I just wondered why the PG colleague was the last one standing. Why wasn't she one of the first one in the group to have a seat. Then a non PG person could have been the one fighting for a seat.
I do agree it was very rude and my sons always give their seat up for a woman, in any condition. The last time we had to wait at a restuarant I had an 8 year old on each knees, so others could have a seat.

The way we walked down the aisle - she was first, she kept going and passed empty seats, assuming there were more empty seats deeper in the car. By the time she realized the "empty" seats were actually blocked by luggage, the rest of us had sat down in other empty seats along the way. The rest of my colleagues did jump up pretty fast when they realized she needed help. They joined her standing by the luggage, tried to get the woman to move it, and then re-shuffled back towards open seats so that she got one.

Jane

nessz79
04-13-2008, 01:58 PM
I think that the way the OP and her colleague were treated was horrible. However, I have to disagree with the general sentiment that only men and boys should be obliged to give up their seats. As a healthy woman, I will most certainly and happily give up my seat too if I see someone who is pregnant, a small child, an elderly person, etc...you get the drift. When my kids are older, I would expect my son AND my daughter to do the same! It's all about manners.
.

While I agree that a woman should give up her seat if there's someone that needs it, I feel that the old-fashioned tradition of men giving up their seat first is...well, nice. But if no men were brought up that way or they simply forgot their manners, then yes, a woman should certainly volunteer.

janey99
04-13-2008, 01:59 PM
Just want to say that not all teachers take advantage of "teachable moments". When I was 8 months pregnant with my daughter 16 years ago, I was subbing at a high school. During an assembly of some sort I had no seat. About twenty men teachers sat there and would not make eye contact with me. To top it off it was mid June, right before school got out and about 100 degrees in the room. I was actually sick as well from having low iron levels (didn't know it at the time) and felt like I was going to pass out. I made it but that is all I could imagine was an ambulance having to pull up to the school for me. I was totally disgusted. My husband would have given up his seat to a lady, never mind a pregnant one. My boys are being raised the same way.

I would have thrown those suitcases on the floor. She paid for a seat, she should have a seat.

I think sometimes, when you're in the middle of a ridiculous situation like that, you're so shocked at how it's unfolding, you can't react the way you want to.

You mentioned it, and so did other posters, the "no eye contact" thing is the killer - sooooo passive agressive and cowardly!

Jane

janey99
04-13-2008, 02:04 PM
[QUOTE=Topo Bella;24445003]I think the problem has less to do with the OP being pregnant than the fact that people can be horribly rude. It just becomes more obvious how rude people can be when you are pregnant and a little kindness means so much.

Agree completely!

While pregnant with my first child, I commuted to work by train, 90 minutes each way. I will never forget one time the train was particularly crowded and I had to stand in the aisle. All the men around me pretended not to see me and my 8 month pregnant belly. Finally, a woman stood up and gave me her seat, making mention of the fact that there were clearly no "gentlemen" in the car.

You sound like you were on one of the NYC lines, like me (I'm guessing since you're from NJ). I've seen pregnant women standing and hanging giant bellies right in the faces of multiple apparently able-bodied passengers with seats, who sit there and whistle out the window. The sad thing is, on most commuter trains, even the most crowded SRO trains clear out at the first stop (Seacaucus or Newark), so giving up a seat for someone who needs it means you would actually have it back 7 minutes out of NYC. Still too much for some people, I guess!

QUOTE]

Jane

janey99
04-13-2008, 02:10 PM
I'm sorry, Lisa. I'm confused. Are you saying it was the Americans, in this instance, living up to the "ugly American" image? With the exceptions of the OP's colleagues who should have never allowed to pregnant women to be the last people standing -- meaning they not sit down until the women have seats -- I don't see that. Don't misunderstand. I'm not saying Americans don't have this reputation, but I don't see this as an assalt on Americans. I just see it as proof that common courtesy is fading worldwide. How sad.

My colleagues and I are all Americans, and the women with whom the incidents occurred were Americans too.

Also, our colleagues were struggling with their suitcases and ours, so we were walking ahead of the line, as I mentioned in a previous post. Far from letting one of us end up with no seat, they were all acting like little mother hens with the luggage!

Jane

roxannex
04-13-2008, 02:20 PM
I think that is because, in your case, people have that adorable little red head to look at. It is easy to see how they couldn't stop looking at him to see you. He really is a cutie.

Awww. I was having a bad day and you made me smile. Thanks!

livndisney
04-13-2008, 02:56 PM
It actually sounds to me like these weren't specifically targeted at pregnant women but rather 2 instances of inconsiderate people who think they are the most important ones in any situation. No wonder so many people in other countries are irritate by "ugly Americans" and aren't referring to our looks.

This was my thought too, I don't know that either example given has anything to do with being pregnant. There are just some very rude people in the world.

becjlek
04-13-2008, 03:02 PM
When I was pregnant with my first we had to travel out of state for a Christening. It was in Aug. and at the end of the day I had gone to the ice machine for my pop. There were about 5-6 gentlemen in line. The last one in line noticed me and motioned for me to go ahead. One at a time as each noticed me they insisted I go ahead. I made sure I thanked them all and only took enough ice for my drink so there would be plenty.

wdwgypsy
04-13-2008, 03:06 PM
Thinking here that if I didn't do the right thing in making room for anyone who needed the seat my Mother would hunt me down. Oh trust me she would know.

Sons are not the only ones that need that lesson about giving up seats. Whenever we are on Public transportation and someone needs a seat I give mine up first then DD if needed. We explained to her a long time ago that some people just have special needs and we need to help them. Her mother has mobility issues but not severe so she undestands what we mean.

She has even popped up before I have seen people needing a seat. We do it not only for elderly, pregnant women, people with mobility issues, small children, we even do it for parents carrying small children or babies including Dads. 'Cause it's the right thing to do.

canwegosoon
04-13-2008, 03:11 PM
Last time I was on ME...I have to tell you I told the bus driver there were no more open seats....I could not see one and my DH was standing in the back and I still had one of my children standing with me. Bus driver said...no I counted there are enough seats for everyone(in a loud voice)..then magically 2 seats next to men that had clothing piled up on them(which I scanned as people) became available and my DH found an open seat in the back.

It is truly amazing how rude people are. I know it is rude for people not to give up seats to pregnant women, but imagine how insulting it is to ask when someone is due-it happens at least once a month to me and my friends are floored...BTW it is always women who ask.

And I applaued the PP who said abled bodied women should give up their seats too. Men love to say if women want equal rights let the have it(hence the no eye contact).

MiniGirl
04-13-2008, 03:59 PM
I interpreted this to mean the people being inconsiderate were Americans as well:



Unfortunately, rudeness is not just something that afflicts a few Americans - it can show up for any nationality.

My colleagues and I are all Americans, and the women with whom the incidents occurred were Americans too.



Whoops..... my bad. I totally missed this from the original post. I guess it isn't hard with all the kiddos running around my house today. :lmao:

Awww. I was having a bad day and you made me smile. Thanks!

You're welcome.



And I agree. I have often given up my seat to someone (regardless of gender) who needed it more than I -- as have my dds. It is just the way I was raised. Like others, I have also had two very young children in tow and not been offered a seat.

barnaby1
04-13-2008, 05:20 PM
It makes me quite sad sometimes when I see how selfish we are becoming as a society. These sorts of things happen in the UK too.

I would have had those suitcases on the floor in an instant though!!!!

MrsWaltDisney86
04-13-2008, 05:29 PM
I always give up my seat and I will raise my daughter to do so as well. But I am so suprised by the "lack of kindness" to mothers (or fathers) out alone with there infant or children!

I would like to say thank you to BJS for having infant front parking.

But I was extremely surprised by how much people dont hold open the door and help and amoung other things. I have been hit Numberous times with the door trying to get me and the baby stroller in it.

I never seemed to have a problem when I was pregnant. But now that I have a baby. Parking in the last parking spot at walmart and walking all that way with in infant is not nice.

I do beleive it also has to do with where you are....I went to "classier" Target lol and I was offered a hand countless times with carrying bags and loading stuff in my car but never NEVER at walmart.

xoprincessmomxo
04-13-2008, 05:59 PM
That's horrible! How unfortunate that we live in a society where some only look out for themselves! I hope to raise my girls with caring and respect for all people, especially thpse that are having a tougher time than themselves! I remember once, when my 6 year old was little, we were up town at our annual festival. The weather turned nasty and everyone rushed to the nearest indoor space. We, along with a crowd, were trying to get into the local pizza shop. Let me say, with a stroler and a diaper bag, those doors are pretty narrow. While being pushed through the door, my daughter's foot got caught around the side and was wedged while everyone kept pushing from behind. I turned around and told them to stop because I seriously thought that they might break her leg. A boy from behind me (probably around 13) actually stepped over and onto the stroller to get around me! Luckily, a lady from my church saw what was happening and helped me unwedge my daughter and get inside. Needless to say, I cried buckets once I got back home and avoided the festival the rest of the time as my husband was out of town and I didn't feel safe going back up.

JerseyMamaBear
04-13-2008, 06:53 PM
Im 36 weeks now and the rudeness is everywhere. I am in no way looking for "special" attention being pregnant but would like common respect. The same I show to anyone else, pregnant or not. How long out of your little life will it take to hold a door open behind you or saying something as simple as excuse me when you bump into me, knocking my pregnant tush over at Walmart! Yup happened 2 weeks ago.

PrincessRora
04-13-2008, 07:13 PM
OP - that's horrible. It really is people like those women that give American's a bad appearance.

Reminds me of a funny learning lesson for my two boys last year at Disney while on the monorail. We were glad to get into the monorail AC one evening after a long day at the parks. My two boys plopped down on the last seating area available....until the next stop. This elderly woman and I assume her very pregnant granddaughter stepped on board. Noone else in the monorail moved to allow them to sit down! I was appalled at the men, including my husband who is usually very gallant, but oblivious this time around! I looked at my oldest son (age 10) with that "Mother" look and nodded toward the ladies, my son got right up and dragged his 7 yo brother with him and offered his seat to the ladies in question. They were very pleased and took their seats. I then proceeded to publicly thank my son for being the ONLY gentleman on the monorail that night! That got my DH's attention for sure. After that, my DS would always offer his seat the rest of the trip trying to outdo Dad every time!


That's wonderful. Those two boys are certainly going to grow up to be gentlemen. My cousin did something similar, and it surprised me. We went to WDW Thanksgiving of 2004 and he was 5.5 at the time. We'd spent the entire day (open to close) walking around MK, and had just gotten on one of the very crowded shuttle buses to take us back to the hotel. He and his older brother (9) got the last two seats. At the last minute, an older woman and her granddaughter (~2) got on the bus and were standing in the isle beside the boys. My cousin didn't hesitate, and even though he'd been crying a bit that his feet hurt, he stood up and offered the woman his seat. He stood beside me the rest of the ride, holding onto my legs since he couldn't reach the hand holds. At 5 years old, he realized this was the right thing to do. I was so surprised and proud of him, that I carried him piggy back all the way to the hotel rooms since I could tell his feet were still hurting him badly.

crzy4my2
04-13-2008, 09:20 PM
Unfortunately that is the way people are now a days. About 13 years ago I worked in Down Town Boston. I was about 21. I would see it a lot when on the train. Whenever a PG woman or Elderly woman would get on, I would look to see if a man would give up his seat and sometimes they did but most of the time I would give up mine.

bumbershoot
04-13-2008, 10:24 PM
I would like to say that not all pregnant women want to sit down. So if a pg woman says "no thank you" when you offer your seat, just deal with it.

My knees were blown from about 20 weeks, and the process of getting up and down, even before my belly got really big, was incredibly painful, so standing up was much better for me. People just hated that I wouldn't sit down, and then I got my nasty pg woman attitude towards those people, and no one was happy at the end.

I have never been more bugged to sit down and to sit on certain surfaces (DH's friend had several gatherings while I was pg and I liked sitting on the floor instead of the ridiculously squishy, suck-you-in and need help to get out, couch, and people tweaked about THAT, too) than when I was pregnant.

So not every pregnant woman wants you to give up your seat, and if someone says "no", please don't cause ugliness by pushing the issue.

Thank you.


(and when I offer up a seat or open a door for a woman OR man, I just enjoy it, rather than get an attitude towards the others who didn't)

gabriellyn
04-13-2008, 10:37 PM
How sad! I am sorry so many people have had such awful experiences!

I have to say I was pleasantly surprised that those types of experiences did not happen to us on our last trip. Many times we boarded *extremely* full buses, but someone always gave up seats for my children (either myself or DH would hold the baby while seated.) They even helped us with our stroller on multiple occasions. I was so soooooooooo surprised! We were profusely thankful. Maybe because it was the holiday season and people were in holiday moods??? We are planning a return trip at the end of the year - wonder if we we will have the same experience?

Again, sorry so many pp's had problems - that is just not right. Thanks to those pp's who are teaching their young ones how to do the right thing.

Suzanna1973
04-14-2008, 06:21 AM
When I was 17 and a Senior in High School, My school's Jazz Band was offered the opportunity to play at Magic Music Days at WDW. It was June before my senior year and I was 6 months pregnant with my DD. We were taking two buses from Missouri to WDW because a lot of parents wanted to go. Everyone gets on the buses and of course I was the last one on the bus because I had to use the potty Just One More Time. The only seat remaining was the seat that had the engine to the bus underneath. You couldn't feel the air conditioning AT ALL for the entire 26 hour trip!!! And I couldn't put my window down because that made the parent behind me hot. My BF was sitting next to me through the trip and asked several times if someone would be willing to trade with me. All of the parents refused to let their children change seats because it wasn't their fault I was in that condition and their children didn't have to suffer for me!!! (Never thought that about my friends, I was just wanting some airconditioning every now and then). Needless to say, on our return trip home, I was the FIRST on the bus and I was NO WHERE NEAR that seat that had the engine underneath.

nicolemomof4cuties
04-14-2008, 09:04 AM
[QUOTE=. I was really shocked at the rudeness. Why would people act like that?

Anyone else have similar stories?

Jane[/QUOTE]

Mine doesn't involve pregnancy just rude people... but yes, I believe you about how outright rude these women were. Last summer my DH and I went to King's Island and while we were there it just began to downpour so we ran into this overhang that had seating. We sat down at at his metal table that had the benches attached to it and were chatting with each other when this women of about 40-45 years old begins kicking the bench on the other side of the table-HARD. She was sitting at a table behind us but completeely turned aroud doing this like it was her mission in life to annoy the snot out of us- we weren't sure if we were on a episode of bioling point or Punk'd or what. Any ways so my DH goes up to get something to dring (hoping that she will just stop) She doesn't. He comes back. Other people begin commenting on how rude she is because she is kicking so hard thhe metal is just reverberating so finally I ask her to please stop. She says "I'LL DO WHAT I ^%$ WELL PLEASE" :eek: :scared1: and her DH just sits there! I aske her again nicely and she starts cursing at me and being really foul. So this couple came out looking for a seat and who do you think offered them the other side of our table? Why we did of course! Boy was that lady ticked! When they sat down She got up with her husband and walked off INTO THE RAIN. NO JOKE! My DH and I just about fell out on the floor. I do not know what is wrong with people anymore......:sad2: :eek:

nicolemomof4cuties
04-14-2008, 09:09 AM
It makes me quite sad sometimes when I see how selfish we are becoming as a society. These sorts of things happen in the UK too.

I would have had those suitcases on the floor in an instant though!!!!

I'm telling you what so would I!:thumbsup2

mommy-on-the-move
04-14-2008, 09:14 AM
Suzanna you reminded me of when I was pregnant with my eldest too- I was 17 (turned 18 before she was born) and I had to ride the bus to school daily only here in England we don't have specified school buses, just standard public buses and everyday when I'd get on it was standing room only and everyday grown men would look the other way and pretend they couldn't see the very pregnant person standing on a very hilly, bumpy bus ride and everyday it was 9/10/11 year old middle school children who would offer me a seat. I've never forgotten it and will always offer my seat to pregnant women now!

On the flipside though I have to say some people are very quick to judge - my eldest son is special needs but to look at him he looks entirely "normal" (as much as i hate to use the term) however on a bus he NEEDS a seat because he has difficulty with his motor skills, balance etc. If I give up my seat for him or stand and give someone else my seat and leave him sitting there are always looks/comments about gentlemen and boys not being taught manners in this day and age but if any of them had to cope like my son does with his day in, day out issues and still appear "normal" to society then they'd think twice.

janey99
04-14-2008, 09:18 AM
Mine doesn't involve pregnancy just rude people... but yes, I believe you about how outright rude these women were. Last summer my DH and I went to King's Island and while we were there it just began to downpour so we ran into this overhang that had seating. We sat down at at his metal table that had the benches attached to it and were chatting with each other when this women of about 40-45 years old begins kicking the bench on the other side of the table-HARD. She was sitting at a table behind us but completeely turned aroud doing this like it was her mission in life to annoy the snot out of us- we weren't sure if we were on a episode of bioling point or Punk'd or what. Any ways so my DH goes up to get something to dring (hoping that she will just stop) She doesn't. He comes back. Other people begin commenting on how rude she is because she is kicking so hard thhe metal is just reverberating so finally I ask her to please stop. She says "I'LL DO WHAT I ^%$ WELL PLEASE" :eek: :scared1: and her DH just sits there! I aske her again nicely and she starts cursing at me and being really foul. So this couple came out looking for a seat and who do you think offered them the other side of our table? Why we did of course! Boy was that lady ticked! When they sat down She got up with her husband and walked off INTO THE RAIN. NO JOKE! My DH and I just about fell out on the floor. I do not know what is wrong with people anymore......:sad2: :eek:

Jeez - That almost sounds like a mentally ill person, although you'd think if that was the case, the people she was with would try to "redirect her attention.":sad2:

nicolemomof4cuties
04-14-2008, 09:22 AM
Jeez - That almost sounds like a mentally ill person, although you'd think if that was the case, the people she was with would try to "redirect her attention.":sad2:

No, her DH STOOD UP for her and told us that we should just deal with it and that she had the right to do what ever she wanted to because it was AMERICA........... and yes, they were Americans. If I wasn't a Christian.......

DVCsince02
04-14-2008, 09:51 AM
Reminds me of a funny learning lesson for my two boys last year at Disney while on the monorail. We were glad to get into the monorail AC one evening after a long day at the parks. My two boys plopped down on the last seating area available....until the next stop. This elderly woman and I assume her very pregnant granddaughter stepped on board. Noone else in the monorail moved to allow them to sit down! I was appalled at the men, including my husband who is usually very gallant, but oblivious this time around! I looked at my oldest son (age 10) with that "Mother" look and nodded toward the ladies, my son got right up and dragged his 7 yo brother with him and offered his seat to the ladies in question. They were very pleased and took their seats. I then proceeded to publicly thank my son for being the ONLY gentleman on the monorail that night! That got my DH's attention for sure. After that, my DS would always offer his seat the rest of the trip trying to outdo Dad every time!

You are raising those boys right. Good for you!

pigget74
04-14-2008, 10:04 AM
When I was expecting my first DD I was taking my last summer session in college. I was taking the 3rd course under this certain professor and she was the only on eteaching it that summer. I knew that it would not be fun under her, but it was one of those classes that I had to have then or it would put my graduating a 2 semeters late. Anyway this was June and I was due late August--supposed to be during break---After the third class I asked her since no one was sitting at the table may I sit there since I could barely fit in the desk. She quickly told me no--that is where her stuff was--that I could sit sideways, on the floor, or bring a chair to sit in :scared1: She said this with the nastiest of nasty attitudes. To this day I cringe thinking about it.

Honeymooner04
04-14-2008, 12:00 PM
When I was very pregnant with my daughter I stupidly went to Walmart the morning of black Friday. I was standing near the toy aisle waiting to be able to grab my silly Little People set when the sale started when I was literally rammed by a woman with a cart and knocked to the side. A man standing near me helped me up and told the woman, "Lady, she's pregnant" and the lady just looked at him like she didn't care (obviously!) and so I just said "Merry Christmas" to the crazy rude lady, thanked the nice man and left. I should have known better to go out on black Friday and I haven't been out since. It seems like that day brings out the worst in people anyway and it's just not worth messing with them.

scouthawkk
04-14-2008, 12:04 PM
I have 2 stories of people being rude while I was pregnant with DS. Both on the train on my way to work, two days apart.

The first was on a very crowded train. I get on at the end of the line, but for whatever reason, the train was already half full when I got on (some sort of delay on the line, so in order to get seats, the people from the next stop up took the train one stop in the opposite direction...happens a lot, but not normally with that many people). I was able to get an end seat with no troubles. But, three stops up, another pregnant lady got on. She appeared to be a few weeks further along than I was (and I had just shy of 8 weeks to go). When it was obvious to me that no one was going to offer her a seat, I caught her eye and offered mine to her. She was very greatful, and accepted. As I got up to let her sit, another woman tried to slide in before she could get in. I very kindly told her that I had offered it to this lady, who appared to need it a bit more than her. She, of course, decided to use the excuse that she got on at the previous stop, and should have it first...to which I replied that I got on at the very first stop, and since I was on before her, I got to pick who got my seat...she wasn't happy! Oh well! And by that time, the other pregnant lady saw that I was pregnant also, and started to refuse the seat. I told her not to worry, and that she appeared to be a bit further along, so she should have it. She did sit, and was very greatful. It took two more stops before a teenage boy realized that one pregnant lady had just given up her seat for another pregnant lady, and offered me his seat. He took off his headphones and said that his mom would kill him if she found out he didn't give up his seat to a pregnant lady. I thanked him, and told him to let his mom know she was doing a wonderful job raising him!

Two days later, I was on my way to work again. Not as crowded, but it was late June, in DC...very hot and humid. So I wasn't actually dressed in work clothes...they were already at work for me to change into when I got there. I was in shorts, t-shirt and sandles. I was 27 and married, though didn't realize I looked all that much younger than that. My fingers had already swollen like a blimp, so my wedding band was displayed nicely on a chain around my neck, rather than on my finger. I got up a couple of stops before my stop, and heard these two older women (I put them to be in their upper 50's/early 60's) talking rather loudly about how teenagers these days will sleep with anyone, and get knocked up with unwanted babies. Then one of them looked at me and said, "yeah, that one will probably be raised by her mother!" While motioning over at me with her head. I, of course, couldn't just stand there and let them talk about me like that...so I let them know that I was not a teenager, but rather was 27 years old, was in fact married...had been for going on 2 years, and showed them my wedding band on the chain. That this was my second pregnancy...the first, unfortunately had ended in misscarriage...and that not only was this child wanted, but that he was very well planned for, and that our son would be very well cared for, by my husband and I. I could see they were a bit uncomfortable at this point, but I couldn't let it go at that, and added "and oh, by the way, while I would love for my mother to help raise my child, that simply is not possible because she died from cancer two years ago...two months before I got married. So maybe you'll do what She taught me next time, and think twice before saying something so negative about someone else. Especially when you know nothing about that person, or their situation!" By the time I got off at my stop, everyone around me was cheering.

DVCsince02
04-14-2008, 12:11 PM
Okay, we are heading to WDW next month. The 18-23rd to be exact. I'll be 23 weeks pregnant. If anyone is rude to me, I'll give them a piece if my mind, so watch out.... :) LOL

DisneyAprilFool
04-14-2008, 12:13 PM
It's not just directed at pregnant ladies... My major pet peeve at WDW was when little kids who couldn't reach the darn rails were left in the middle of the bus, trying to balance themselves. The person who wasn't holding onto the 2 year old in our party would offer up our seat- we'd also put our 2 year old and then-7 year old on our lap to open up a seat for another person. I just think it's the polite thing to do. I am so glad my entire family, from youngest to oldest, realizes that being gracious isn't a difficult thing to do and that it's the RIGHT thing to do.

I was very happy at DLR this last week when a couple offered us their seat waiting for lunch at the Blue Bayou- we didn't need it, another seat had just opened up, but it made me smile. The simplest things you can do for strangers can really make a person's day.

jackskellingtonsgirl
04-14-2008, 12:55 PM
It's not just directed at pregnant ladies... My major pet peeve at WDW was when little kids who couldn't reach the darn rails were left in the middle of the bus, trying to balance themselves. The person who wasn't holding onto the 2 year old in our party would offer up our seat- we'd also put our 2 year old and then-7 year old on our lap to open up a seat for another person. I just think it's the polite thing to do. I am so glad my entire family, from youngest to oldest, realizes that being gracious isn't a difficult thing to do and that it's the RIGHT thing to do.

I was very happy at DLR this last week when a couple offered us their seat waiting for lunch at the Blue Bayou- we didn't need it, another seat had just opened up, but it made me smile. The simplest things you can do for strangers can really make a person's day.

This happened to my DS one morning on the way to MK. The bus was PACKED. DH and I were both standing, and DS was kind of wedged between us. He was probably 9 at the time but he was (and still is) very small. He couldn't reach anything to hang on to. So the bus starts moving and DS falls smack into a lady's lap! :scared1: She wasn't rude to him, but it was pretty obvious that he should have been sitting down since he was too short to stand up safely. I am all for him giving up his seat as long as he can ride safely standing up. Otherwise, he needs to remain seated.

Bethy Lou
04-14-2008, 01:57 PM
I am pregnant with our third child and the other day I was at a baseball game for the middle school. It is fairly obvious that I am pregnant and nearby our daughters were playing. I have always looked young for my age and a woman there said I did not look old enough to have three children. Then she asked how old I was, and how old my oldest was. I was so shocked someone had the gall to be so rude as if it was her business. I walked away before she asked how long I had been married when my daughter was born! :lol

PatricenPete
04-14-2008, 02:13 PM
I wasn't pregnant at the time, but I WAS carrying 2 toddlers.

Once on a trip to Disney - we were out late night for the Halloween Party at MK. It was nearing 10 and my kids were POOPED, so we decided to head back to the hotel. DS fell asleep in the stroller and DD wasn't far behind. We got to the buses and the bus stop was packed. DH folded up the stroller and I was holding both kids, while he carried the stroller and all our packages.

I got on the bus and there was not 1 seat. I stood for 30 minutes holding 2 sleeping toddlers and not one fully able bodied person stood to offer me their seat. It was horrible. The people on the bus wouldn't even look me in the eye. We were staying at Boardwalk and the bus had to make stops at Yacht and Beach AND Swan and Dolphin! Finally, the bus driver made an announcement over the speaker and suggested that perhaps if there was a gentleman on board, he would be willing to offer the "woman struggling with two toddlers" a seat. :rotfl:

DVCsince02
04-14-2008, 02:42 PM
Finally, the bus driver made an announcement over the speaker and suggested that perhaps if there was a gentleman on board, he would be willing to offer the "woman struggling with two toddlers" a seat. :rotfl:

I guess it's better late than never he made the announcement, but geez....:confused:

nessz79
04-14-2008, 05:28 PM
It's not just directed at pregnant ladies... My major pet peeve at WDW was when little kids who couldn't reach the darn rails were left in the middle of the bus, trying to balance themselves. The person who wasn't holding onto the 2 year old in our party would offer up our seat- we'd also put our 2 year old and then-7 year old on our lap to open up a seat for another person. I just think it's the polite thing to do. I am so glad my entire family, from youngest to oldest, realizes that being gracious isn't a difficult thing to do and that it's the RIGHT thing to do.

I was very happy at DLR this last week when a couple offered us their seat waiting for lunch at the Blue Bayou- we didn't need it, another seat had just opened up, but it made me smile. The simplest things you can do for strangers can really make a person's day.

Yup! We've had our boys who were then 4 and 3 standing on the bus while my mother and I tried to hold on to them (we were also standing of course). There were mostly parents with children nearby us so I understand why none of them would offer their seats, but I'm sure the entire bus wasn't filled with small children and their mothers holding them.

kjetjl
04-14-2008, 05:56 PM
I was pregnant with my 3rd. I was 38 weeks along at Christmas with a 2 year old and a 4 year old. We arrived 15 minutes before mass started but the seats were full. We stood in the back and just before mass started, one young woman in her late teens, early 20s, walked from the other side of the church to offer me her seat. It really bothered me that not one able bodied man offered me a seat.

I have 4 boys now and I think it is so important to teach them to give up their seats for the elderly, a disabled person, pregnant women and women with young children. It is just a simple sign of virtue and a strong character in a man....sadly lacking in our society.