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tfiga
03-16-2008, 01:31 PM
I know I am probably a horrible person for saying this but is anyone else overwhelmed with the request for donations...For example, today I went to Toys R Us to get some items for Easter, the cashier asked if I would like to donate either $1, $3 or $5 to help fight autism...Next walking out the door there was a young girl selling $3 candy bars...After Toys R Us I had to go to Kroger's on the way there standing in the road was men collecting for veterans of a foreign war...Next walking in to Kroger was a few girls selling Otis Spunkmeyer cookies for $15 a box, the cashier at Krogers asked me if I would like to donate a $1 to help feed the hungry and walking out of Kroger was a man collecting for disabled veterans...This is in addition of course to the weekly items coming home from the school for the kids to sell and of course the daily requests at work to buy stuff from other peoples kid's...Is it just me or is it totally overwhelming.....I donate to charity, but I feel very uncomfortable saying no to all these requests, but if I gave in I would need charity...Please tell me I am not alone in feeling like this...

ajk912
03-16-2008, 01:33 PM
omg, me too. I don't mind it around Christmas time, because it's the season of giving and all. It just urks me- especially the cashiers who get all bent out of shape if you don't want to donate to their corporation's cause. I am not a scrooge, I donate to some (St Judes is a favorite of mine) but not all. Please don't make me feel bad if I say no!

labgeek
03-16-2008, 01:37 PM
I completely understand, and no, you are not a horrible person. We were able to finally go to high speed internet, so we are getting rid of our land line. We were told we could make our home number our cell number (we are adding a line for a home line because our DS stays home by himself occasionally). We have opted not to do that so that we get rid of all these kinds of calls. The only people who call our land line are typically people we do not want to talk to.

When we were a two income family I gave to a lot of organizations every year. Especially, like our volunteer fire dept, because they would be the ones to come to my house if it caught fire, not the city. I still give to them. I just can't do it now. My DH says there are constantly organization contacting the business for donations. There was one I wish he did, that he didn't and I voiced my concerns, and he said, you have to draw the line somewhere. He's not even profitting enough to make ends meet right now, and relying on his stash (hunting/fishing business and jan/feb are the worst months) to pay bills and get new product for the upcoming fishing season.

Please don't feel bad. I don't know if more people are asking or if it seems like more since nowadays we don't have the money to donate to everything and everbody who asks, and it takes a toll on our concience.

Pigeon
03-16-2008, 01:43 PM
Just say no thank you. It doesn't make you a bad person.

I give generously to charities, but I do it in a planned way, where I get receipts for my taxes.

neatokimmo
03-16-2008, 01:45 PM
I feel bad saying no, but I only donate to causes that can provide a receipt. Not so much to take it off my taxes but to prove they are organized enough to get the funds to where they need to be. Plus I don't like doing $1s here and there, if I do $50 fewer times my company will match it.

Karlzmom
03-16-2008, 01:50 PM
I simply smile and say that I've already given to my charities, but to have a nice day.:) I find that I regularly get smiles back, and the rare times I don't then I really mind that I didn't give to them.

I will say that I am also fatigued from the continual onslaught of donation seekers.

luv2saveabuck
03-16-2008, 01:56 PM
I hate that too. I know that $ is tight and all the charities are struggling for funds as a result, but all this bombardment will have a negative effect in my opinion.
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By the way, would anyone like to donate $5, $10, or $1000 to the "Taking my DD & DS to WDW for the 1st time fund??? :rotfl2:

labgeek
03-16-2008, 02:02 PM
By the way, would anyone like to donate $5, $10, or $1000 to the "Taking my DD & DS to WDW for the 1st time fund??? :rotfl2:

:rotfl2: I'll put you on my short list!

tinkarooni
03-16-2008, 02:19 PM
I totally agree with you. The worst is when they hound you at work. The United Way is my best example. I work at home but my boss and secretary are in the office. They only get dress down day on Friday if all of us in our group contribute to the United Way. Talk about blackmail. It's fine if that is the charity you choose but I believe that charity is a personal decision and not one to be forced into by your employer. I often wonder what the United Way does to force all these employers into cooperating? My husband gets it where he works too.

DisKim
03-16-2008, 02:23 PM
I don't care if you flame me, but people are just trying to help other people. Just say no if you don't want to donate. You might feel differently if you or someone you loved could be helped by one of these charities.

tedhowe
03-16-2008, 02:34 PM
In the words of George Costanza...


The Human Fund... Money for People

hentob
03-16-2008, 02:40 PM
I don't care if you flame me, but people are just trying to help other people. Just say no if you don't want to donate. You might feel differently if you or someone you loved could be helped by one of these charities.


While I agree with you to an extent, some of these charities have so much "overhead" that VERY little of the monies collected ever get to those in need:mad:

I like to research who I am giving to and WHERE my money is going. I don't like being blindsided at every turn :headache:

clh2
03-16-2008, 02:41 PM
This thread has me chuckling a bit.

I am also getting sick of the "can you donate a buck here or there" campaigns. I am so sick of United Way that I'm about ready to puke. During the United Way campaign, there are concurent campaigns for the United Performing Arts Center, as well as the foundation for the hospital I work at.

Don't even get me started when the big stores do a "giving tree" at Christmas. Those just seem to be more a way to get customers to buy more stuff in their stores.

On any of the above, our giving is primarily through our church, where we get appropriate receipts, and we are supportive of the local organizations that are supoorted through our donations.

But the ones that really TICK me off - are the ones from family and friends where the invite you to sponsor the kid on an adventure of some sort or another, and then they provide a nice little link.

I do not sponsor anyone's kids to do anything, HOWEVER, my DD is going to Spain on a band trip at the end of 2008, and I don't expect the world (i.e. coworkers, family or friends) to subsidize her trip either. It was our decision to allow her the opportunity, so it is our responsibilty to find the funds.

hentob
03-16-2008, 02:42 PM
I do not sponsor anyone's kids to do anything, HOWEVER, my DD is going to Spain on a band trip at the end of 2008, and I don't expect the world (i.e. coworkers, family or friends) to subsidize her trip either. It was our decision to allow her the opportunity, so it is our responsibilty to find the funds.

VERY well said:thumbsup2

AnninIowa
03-16-2008, 02:56 PM
I totally agree - we don't even answer the door or phone anymore because of all the requests, and I dread going to the stores where they seem to constantly be collecting for something. I have a select number of causes I give to regularly, and I remind myself to not feel guilty about not being able to give to everything. I personally won't give to the United Way because I just give directly to the causes I want - why pay a middle man? There are so many scams out there, too, that I just stick with the ones I know and trust.

ClarabelleCowFan
03-16-2008, 03:01 PM
We were hit up 3 times yesterday by the same group!

DH and I ran by Wal-Mart and were approached walking in by a group collecting donations for soldiers and their families who have had a new baby. Great cause - DH is AD Army and we have a new baby (but are not in need of donations) but we didn't have any cash on us.

After Wal-mart we went on post to the PX and different members of the same group were collecting there. Next stop was the Commissary (grocery store) and again the group was there.

Both DDs came home Friday with forms to collect donations for a jump rope for healthy hearts event and DD14 is also selling something for an orchestra fundraiser. :sad2:

It's overwhelming at times. I would rather DDs not have to participate in fundraisers and just write a single check to the PTA each year but the schools up here don't do that.

labgeek
03-16-2008, 03:07 PM
VERY well said:thumbsup2

I agree 100% When DD was in a cheerleading group you had fundraisers that were for your personal account and some for the general account. My mom and MIL opted to not purchase the candles, but directly donate to her fund so she would get 100% of the money. Then when they discontinued the group (5-6yrs old) because there wasn't enough to compete, they took all the money and gave it to the older groups. I tried to apply her money to a gymnastics class she took at the same facility and the money was gone:confused3 Luckly, the lady who was the treasurer is gone now, but so is the cheerleading progam. It is strict gymnastics / tumbling now....

I guess I just like knowing where my money is going. I do sponsor a child a Christmas, but locally, through our schools. My cousin by marriage is head of the program, so I knew all the stuff I bought went to that child. I really didn't have the extra money, but took part of my bonus, and called it my present to myself for losing 50lbs. Almost all my charities are local. I do like the car washes the programs do during the summer. I love to see the kids having a good time and earning money for baseball trips / church ect..while doing something I hate to do...wash my van...Plus I know these kids and they know me. The wonders of a small community.

TheDizMom
03-16-2008, 04:55 PM
I hate this too. I rarely if ever have money I can donate anyway once we have payed our own bills :confused3 . The new thing here is various high school teams and organizations asking if they can bag your groceries for you. It's kind of like the car wash thing where at least their doing something in return. My big problem is my fruits and vegetables are always bruised and battered by the time I get them home :lmao: . The thing that I have found so strange is that sometimes these organizations are miles, and in one case more then an hour, away. Lets face it if I am going to support a high school group it's going to be for my own school district.

Our school is also way out of control with the fund raiser thing. Last year we did 5, this year 4. It's ridiculous :mad: ! One of the fund raisers has been making up words of $30,000.00! We are in a public school district in Minnesota (where the state funding sucks), so yes we try to help the school by providing things like new playground equipment, but 4 fund raisers? Next year I will have one in middle school and one in elementary, I am cringing at how many fund raisers I will have to deal with :headache: .

As for helping charitable organizations, I solve the money part by instead volunteering my time and energy working with them instead. It's better on my pocket book and I feel good about having helped by rolling up my sleeves and pitching in :goodvibes .

rparmfamily
03-16-2008, 05:11 PM
I don't mind them. I just say "sorry" and smile if I don't have cash on hand or don't want to.

Toby'sFriend
03-16-2008, 05:24 PM
I hate to be a meanie but I bet that on average I am being solicited for donations 3 to 4 times a week anymore.

The latest is the Senior Prom for the local High School. There is some kind of charity thing going on where you buy a pizza kit from Little Ceasers and then you can either specify a certain kid to get the credit, or let it go into some kind of general fund. There are 17 year olds all over the place trying to peddle cheap, bad tasting pizza. Well, I'm ALL FOR having kids go to their Senior Proms. But maybe -- just maybe -- if they just held something reasonable instead of a $150 ticket per head extravaganza, the kids would be able to afford their Senior Proms without having to fundraise. $300 per couple BEFORE the kids buy their clothes, flowers, limo, and dinner. :sad2:

Again, I know I sound really pissy, but if they can't afford it, why should strangers have to "donate" for them to have it? We're not talking starving orphans or baby seals here. Teens having a big party is just not my idea of a "charity."

I go by one stoplight every weekday morning that is a frequent target. I hate having strangers outside my car windows shaking the cans at me.

kaytieeldr
03-16-2008, 05:35 PM
I don't mind them. I just say "sorry" and smile if I don't have cash on hand or don't want to.
"No, thank you" works even better (I'm reluctant to apologize when I'm not sorry).

rparmfamily
03-16-2008, 05:36 PM
"No, thank you" works even better (I'm reluctant to apologize when I'm not sorry).

I say that too. ;) I am sorry I can't give everyone money though. :laughing: My own family needs some of that cash too LOL.

lucigo
03-16-2008, 05:39 PM
I don't care if you flame me, but people are just trying to help other people. Just say no if you don't want to donate. You might feel differently if you or someone you loved could be helped by one of these charities.

That was my first thought but I didn't want to sound angry, you put it in a nice way ;)
http://i165.photobucket.com/albums/u57/zookeeperto6/benautismfinsmall.jpg

Pigeon
03-16-2008, 08:22 PM
That was my first thought but I didn't want to sound angry, you put it in a nice way ;)


Well, let's think about that for a moment. There are many hundreds of charities out there, and it seems like at least half of them are soliciting these days. I think everyone alive has a friend or relative who has been touched by cancer of various types, MS, ALS, cystic fibrosis, mental illness, heart disease, stroke, liver disease, etc.

I'm a breast cancer survivor. I'm tired of all the breast cancer solicitations. I just think the constant solicitation thing is overdone.

As for the fundraising, I won't do it for my own kids. I'm certainly not doing it for other people's kids. If I want them to participate in an activity, I pay for it.

I'm another person who is sick to death of getting hounded by the United Way at work. Forget it.

I think we have gotten in a very odd mindset re the fundraising. I got stuck on the religious education committee for my old church, which was a very wealthy congregation. Yet the ladies running the committee were insistent that we had to do fundraising for every single activity that kids in the church wanted to do. It just made no sense to me. Why should we ask the families to buy overpriced crap, or worse, buy ingredients and waste their time baking, so as to avoid asking them to just pay for their kids activities??? Needless to say, I didn't last long on the committee...

jeankeri
03-16-2008, 08:34 PM
I agree with the poster who said it's hard to know what the group's overhead is and how much help they are really giving. I have stopped giving to 'check-out charities' for that reason. I do not feel guilty, and at this point I have had plenty of time to practice my pat answer, "No, I wouldn't".

Mrs.Reese
03-16-2008, 09:25 PM
Oh I hate the "you can wear jeans if you donate $2" at work. With $$ as tight as it is for some of us, the only way I can be somewhat casual is to pay for it? I donate my time and money directly to a local homeless shelter. The people on the street? The store things? Who knows where that goes? Nope, I give my money to organizations that I can research and see how it's being used.

LuckyMamaInDE
03-17-2008, 08:21 AM
For the piddly requests, I say "not today" or "no thank you."

For the kids shaking cans outside the grocery store, I say "I pay for my own children to participate in their activities."

We donate to groups who give receipts. We do save pennies all year for the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society's Pennies for Patients drive. Dd8's best friend is a leukemia survivor (as is her twin sister).

Katlyn
03-17-2008, 08:49 AM
We had a fundraiser this weekend for our local Cancer Unit. While we didn't raise as much as we wanted to, I appreciated the people that said No Thank You more than the ones that just ignored us or gave us the evil eye:lmao:. I totally understand if someone can't give at a specific time. The best part of the day was when a nice lady stopped by and thanked us for all we did as her husband has cancer and undergoing treatments now. That just made our whole day better.

breezy1077
03-17-2008, 09:32 AM
If they don't ask, they won't get.

It's hardly an affront to people who don't have the money to give (charity starts at home in most cases). It's just people trying to help people:) I'd rather have more control of who gets my money than the gov't who gives it away as they see fit.

Todd&Copper
03-17-2008, 09:41 AM
I hate being asked every time at the grocery store check-out if I want to dnate (and at the Kmart register, too, now that I think about it, and the PetCo - geez!) but I always just say, "not today, thanks." I kind of hate the kids selling stuff for scouts or school circling like vultures outside of stores - I try to use a door they are not congregating around, but if I have to pass them, I just say "no thanks." I heard some very rude teenagers outside my grocery, mocking people who said no, so I pretended to be on a cell phone and faced away from them as I walked out. Luckily, they were reeling some old lady in so I escaped without drawing their ire.

LisaNJ25
03-17-2008, 09:48 AM
I hate being asked every time at the grocery store check-out if I want to dnate (and at the Kmart register, too, now that I think about it, and the PetCo - geez!) but I always just say, "not today, thanks." I kind of hate the kids selling stuff for scouts or school circling like vultures outside of stores - I try to use a door they are not congregating around, but if I have to pass them, I just say "no thanks." I heard some very rude teenagers outside my grocery, mocking people who said no, so I pretended to be on a cell phone and faced away from them as I walked out. Luckily, they were reeling some old lady in so I escaped without drawing their ire.

http://dl4.glitter-graphics.net/pub/236/236774gbb2i1hvys.jpg

marthachick
03-17-2008, 01:42 PM
http://dl4.glitter-graphics.net/pub/236/236774gbb2i1hvys.jpg

:rotfl:

ZPT1022
03-17-2008, 10:28 PM
I totally agree with you. The worst is when they hound you at work. The United Way is my best example. I work at home but my boss and secretary are in the office. They only get dress down day on Friday if all of us in our group contribute to the United Way. Talk about blackmail. It's fine if that is the charity you choose but I believe that charity is a personal decision and not one to be forced into by your employer. I often wonder what the United Way does to force all these employers into cooperating? My husband gets it where he works too.

What is the deal with the United Way?? I had one job that tried to force everyone into it, and I remember asking my mother about it and she told me about a job she had back in the 70's that was really into it too. Since she said she preferred to give to other charities she basically never advanced anymore after that. I just don't understand their influence. :confused:

I don't care if you flame me, but people are just trying to help other people. Just say no if you don't want to donate. You might feel differently if you or someone you loved could be helped by one of these charities.

I'm not flaming you but everyone can't be expected to give to every charity that comes calling. You might have things that are near and dear to you and I might have things that are near and dear to me. It's neither right nor wrong. Personally, I choose to donate to things that impact me personally, ie the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society, in honor of my cousin and my Dad respectively.

http://dl4.glitter-graphics.net/pub/236/236774gbb2i1hvys.jpg
:rotfl: That was DD and I this weekend, although we didn't really do much besides stand at our table and wait for people to come to us. DD did dress up in the cookie costume but neither her nor I are really the shout "Buy cookies!" type.

I will say as a complete aside that I'm really proud of DD's brownie troop. Ever since I've had them as Daisies, we've talked a lot about soldiers and honoring them and trying to brighten their day. We've sent care packages and whatnot over the last few years but this year they have gotten really into the Cookies for the Troops program. They found out how many soldiers are stationed overseas from CT (1,595) and they made the goal to send at least one box of cookies to each of them. They made a banner with an icon to represent each soldier as well. They're more than 1/3 of the way to their goal :thumbsup2

and yes I realize that this is fundraising too ;)

Mocharilla
03-17-2008, 10:52 PM
Just popping in to say I totally agree. It drives me nuts.

My cousin is in girl scouts, so we buy cookies from her. Then there's a million people trying to get me to buy "Just one!".

And it drives me nuts at cash registers. Especially when they're like "Are you sure? It's just x amount!". I want to be like "Listen, I'm a college student, with a son at home, trying to plan a wedding on a $5K budget out of our own pockets, and gas is rediculous! BACK OFF!". I think I'd scare the cashier though, especially since I might start crying, since I tend to when I get worked up. :rotfl:

sarahlovesmickey
03-17-2008, 11:02 PM
I hate to be a meanie but I bet that on average I am being solicited for donations 3 to 4 times a week anymore.

The latest is the Senior Prom for the local High School. There is some kind of charity thing going on where you buy a pizza kit from Little Ceasers and then you can either specify a certain kid to get the credit, or let it go into some kind of general fund. There are 17 year olds all over the place trying to peddle cheap, bad tasting pizza. Well, I'm ALL FOR having kids go to their Senior Proms. But maybe -- just maybe -- if they just held something reasonable instead of a $150 ticket per head extravaganza, the kids would be able to afford their Senior Proms without having to fundraise. $300 per couple BEFORE the kids buy their clothes, flowers, limo, and dinner. :sad2:

Again, I know I sound really pissy, but if they can't afford it, why should strangers have to "donate" for them to have it? We're not talking starving orphans or baby seals here. Teens having a big party is just not my idea of a "charity."

I go by one stoplight every weekday morning that is a frequent target. I hate having strangers outside my car windows shaking the cans at me.


That is utterly ridiculous!!!! Whatever happened to having a part time job in high school to fund your own freakin' prom??? Sorry, but I got honor roll grades, played sports, and worked part time. What has happened to the motivation level in some teens???? UGH!

Mocharilla
03-17-2008, 11:13 PM
That is utterly ridiculous!!!! Whatever happened to having a part time job in high school to fund your own freakin' prom??? Sorry, but I got honor roll grades, played sports, and worked part time. What has happened to the motivation level in some teens???? UGH!

Agreed! Yeah, my HS Prom was REDICULOUS in cost. But I didn't get people to donate the money to us! DF and I saved money and worked for our ticket.

And, you know, we did the unthinkable, and drove ourselves instead of a limo. We were one of maybe 5 couples to do so. We went to HS in a very wealthy district, although I was OOD, and his parents live in the only middle-class area of the district.

sk8ingmom
03-18-2008, 06:11 AM
Just my $.02 - I'm a professional fundraiser. Before you flame me...I'm not the person who calls you, I'm the person who builds relationships with major donors, writes foundation proposals, and develops sponsorship opportunities.
Here is my take. I don't give to the come-to-the-door, or buy-a-shamrock type of things. I personally believe that philanthropy should be deliberate, significant, and meaningful. Significant can be different things to different people - could be $10 or $10 million.

I totally agree with you. The worst is when they hound you at work. The United Way is my best example. I work at home but my boss and secretary are in the office. They only get dress down day on Friday if all of us in our group contribute to the United Way. Talk about blackmail. It's fine if that is the charity you choose but I believe that charity is a personal decision and not one to be forced into by your employer. I often wonder what the United Way does to force all these employers into cooperating? My husband gets it where he works too.

It's not United Way - it is your company. United Ways are local, independently run organizations, but United Way of America doesn't encourage 100% participation-type contests or perks. If they do your local UW is in violation of their agreement with national. If a company insists on doing something like that, the standard should be that everyone is asked once and receives a pledge form. If you have been coerced into giving, you can get the money back, no questions asked. Just contact your local United Way.

Also, about the "why pay the middle man" I would encourage people to check out their local UW web site. They do way more than pass money through to other organizations.

Everyone should give to the organizations or causes that they are passionate about. If it isn't my organization, that is fine, but I still encourage them to give somewhere. Rising tide lifts all boats.

meandtheguys2
03-18-2008, 07:06 AM
Kids peddling junk so they can have a treat/trip of some sort is just wrong in my book. And I can't believe the prom fundraising! Or the people to people type trips.

I worked with kids that benefitted from the Christmas Tree lists. I do know the kids in our county that received had nothing. We were usually buying their hats and mittens out of pocket.

However, I always donate a buck to Children's Miracle Netword (provided many of the necessaries in my nieces NICU) and Make a Wish. So, I guess they do because of people like me. Sorry....

Most of our donations are planned, though.

ZPT1022
03-18-2008, 07:30 AM
My cousin is in girl scouts, so we buy cookies from her. Then there's a million people trying to get me to buy "Just one!".



That's really rude. DH and my mom bring the form to work, people know they have it if they're interested. DD is allowed to call a few close family members (my brothers, her other grandmother, and her godmother and godfather). We did participate in a cookie booth for the first time this past weekend, but neither DD nor myself are the yelling, shouting,trying to make people feel bad type. Maybe we'd have been warmer standing out there, but it's not my thing;)

Sorry you've been having a bad experience. I know that's not supposed to be how it happens but maybe our area is just more laid back.

I did find it funny at the cookie booth that since we were outside at a strip mall, people would drive up to the curb like it was a drive through :rotfl:

Kickapoo Joie Juice
03-18-2008, 08:03 AM
Yeah, I think it's going to cause an eventual backlash because people are going to end up with charity fatigue.

OTOH, I think the dollar here, dollar there strategy is effective for people who DON'T regularly donate but have guilt about it.

While my charitable giving isn't quite at the level I would like it to be, it's also not random. We try and budget for giving and plan ahead.

I think the give a buck here/there is the charitable version of going to Starbucks-five bucks here, five bucks there, it's all gone and you can't remember where it went...

Mocharilla
03-18-2008, 08:05 AM
That's really rude. DH and my mom bring the form to work, people know they have it if they're interested. DD is allowed to call a few close family members (my brothers, her other grandmother, and her godmother and godfather). We did participate in a cookie booth for the first time this past weekend, but neither DD nor myself are the yelling, shouting,trying to make people feel bad type. Maybe we'd have been warmer standing out there, but it's not my thing;)

Sorry you've been having a bad experience. I know that's not supposed to be how it happens but maybe our area is just more laid back.

I did find it funny at the cookie booth that since we were outside at a strip mall, people would drive up to the curb like it was a drive through :rotfl:

Yeah. Like, I know FFIL buys their family's cookies through people in his work, and I can see someone bringing in their daughter's order form and setting it in the break room. What I hated was that, due to there being 2 people with order forms trying to guilt him into buying from them, he split the order between the two. Then they both lost the order form, and it was a pain trying to figure which boxes we got from whom, and ended up not getting the exact order and buying extras from a booth. :sad2:

I have no problem with people with booths who did what you guys did. Have a booth, sell the cookies, but not be in your face about it.

That's awesome that people were using you as a drive-through! :lmao:

WendyisDarling
03-18-2008, 08:08 AM
A lot of stores do have the do you want to give a dollar for the charity of the month thing. I always just say no, not today. I've never had one say anything more about it. I'm not sure what I'd do if they did. I know I wouldn't give.

I, too, hate the kids peddling outside the stores. I wish the stores would not allow it. If they would just set up a table that would be fine, but they are on you like little vultures. Sorry to all the Girl Scout parents, but I have bought at least a dozen boxes of cookies from neighbors and I don't want anymore. I hate that they look so disappointed when I tell them I have already purchased cookies this year.

But, the one that has irked me lately was a baseball team outside of Dick's sporting goods selling peanuts. There were tons of them and no way to get around them. Very aggressive kids. I gave a simple no thank you on my way in and tried the same on the way out, but a boy, about 12 years old (I know he's just a kid and doesn't know better, but hey coach--teach him to know better) said "but, hey, it's important...it's for MY Teeeaaam (whiny). I just left. But, I so wanted to say "I don't even know who you are. I don't know what county your team is even in. My kids are on teams. They're Teeeaaaam is more important to me than yours is." But, of course, I wouldn't do that.

The only fundraiser I have let my son solicit for is Wreaths Across America. Civil Air Patrol helps the original organization and now puts wreaths on a great many military gravesites at Christmas. IMO, a worthy cause. But, there are lots of worthy causes. This is what I did...I emailed all the friends and family I planned for him to ask. I explained it to them first and said I didn't want to put them on the spot by having him ask them. So, if they would like to donate to send me a reply and I would know it is OK for him to ask. That seemed to work well and I hope it took the pressure off.

Kickapoo Joie Juice
03-18-2008, 08:11 AM
I'm a breast cancer survivor. I'm tired of all the breast cancer solicitations. I just think the constant solicitation thing is overdone.

...


Is anybody else really tired of things being colored pink for breast cancer?

My cheese wrappers, shoes, everything! We've had some breast scares in our family, and really, I would rather not have to think about breast cancer EVERY TIME I go food shopping!

I have actually found myself avoiding pink colored for breast cancer products because I have some fairly unpleasant memories.

I think, man, save the money they just spent on all that fancy wrapping, pink coloring, and endless marketing and give it to the WOMEN WHO NEED IT!

I'm a huge fan of helping as directly as I can....

TenThousandVolts
03-18-2008, 09:02 AM
I don't really mind it- I can (and often do) just say no.

2 types come to mind that bug me though-

1. Once I was at the movies and before the previews they showed a really pullat-your-heartstrings clip of kids with terminal illness... and then had the ushers pass around a can to collect money. It think it was St. Jude's- one of my favorite charities- but I felt that passing the can was really intrusive for some reason.

2. When they put kids on the median strip in the middle of a busy road with a bucket and have them approach cars for money. This is unsafe on so many levels! I have seen girls (around age 13) in the road collecting for their cheerleading or dance troupe in a very small dance outfit. The outfit would be appropriate on a stage at a recital but IMO not in the street while asking for money- too many creeps out there.

breezy1077
03-18-2008, 10:01 AM
I don't really mind it- I can (and often do) just say no.

2 types come to mind that bug me though-

1. Once I was at the movies and before the previews they showed a really pullat-your-heartstrings clip of kids with terminal illness... and then had the ushers pass around a can to collect money. It think it was St. Jude's- one of my favorite charities- but I felt that passing the can was really intrusive for some reason.

2. When they put kids on the median strip in the middle of a busy road with a bucket and have them approach cars for money. This is unsafe on so many levels! I have seen girls (around age 13) in the road collecting for their cheerleading or dance troupe in a very small dance outfit. The outfit would be appropriate on a stage at a recital but IMO not in the street while asking for money- too many creeps out there.


Regarding #1 - don't churches do that every Sunday? :)

Todd&Copper
03-18-2008, 10:49 AM
Two points:

1 - They still make Little Caesar's Pizza? I thought they were out of business. You DO learn something new every day!

2 - I remeber once going to the movies and there was a long March of Dimes commercial before the feature (this was in the mid 80's) and there were all of these movie stars (Mickey Rooney is def. one, and probably Liz Taylor???, there had to be about 20 or 30 of them) dropping a dollar into a can and passing it out of frame to . . .another celeb who drops a buck in and passes it to . . etc. etc. My dad snarked, "What the *heck* is a dollar to Mickey *darn* Rooney?" only, he didn't exactly say heck or darn. I still get a bad case of the giggles whenever I see photos of or movies with Mickey Rooney.

Oh, derailed my train of thought on 2 - well, anyway, the usher had to walk up the aisle with the can for donations and everyone in the 1/3 full theater just glared at him. That had to be the worst part of his job, even worse than cleaning the theater floor or scraping out the popcorn popper.

Nancyg56
03-18-2008, 12:25 PM
I don't care if you flame me, but people are just trying to help other people. Just say no if you don't want to donate. You might feel differently if you or someone you loved could be helped by one of these charities.

I understand why they are asking for donations but it is very awkward at times to say no. We all have our charities of choice, for example, this month has been a long one for us. Our Church helps support 70 families in our town and has a monthly food drive. We try to be very generous each month. Then extra collections for flowers for Easter and then for hams and turkeys for Easter dinner for those in need. The Explorers are collecting for new uniforms so we gave to that. We also support the Fair Trade sales and buy the chocolates and teas to help. We have been asked in the grocery stores to donate a dollar. I shop several times a week.

Every day my phone rings for help in one way or another. Or I get solicitations in the mail from neighbors who have been roped in to send them out. I am not complaining and i do give where I choose but it is difficult to manage how much and to whom when you are asked to give.

jackskellingtonsgirl
03-18-2008, 12:34 PM
When they ask at the grocery I say "Not today, thanks." Apparently the cashiers are REALLY hounded to ask EVERY customer to donate, which sucks for them and us.

When charities call on the phone I say "Sorry, all of our charitable funds for 2008 have already been allocated. Thanks for calling." That's what companies used to tell me when I did fundraising, so I borrowed it. Works great!:thumbsup2

It is RARE that anyone comes to the door at my house. If someone we don't know is knocking we ignore them. At work (I'm a nanny) I tell the kids (scouts or other neighborhood kids) to come back when my bosses are home.;)

MomofCKJ
03-18-2008, 12:57 PM
Regarding #1 - don't churches do that every Sunday? :)

Not all churches. The one I work for and attend deliberately has never, ever passed a plate. We have donation boxes in a few locations that regulars and members can put their money in if they choose. When our church was started in 1997 one of the things discussed was how some people feel the church was always after $$. So a decision was made to never pass a plate. 10 years later, 1000+ people a week and a very healthy budget we still don't pass a plate. People who attend choose to donate without the pressure of a plate going by and we are able to do a lot of good things with what is given.

Allyson :)

eeyorethegreat
03-18-2008, 12:58 PM
If I am approached at a store , in puclic etc or on the phone by a group or person asking for donations, I simply say no thank you if it is not a group that is one that I choose to donate to. Then I continue on my way. Having kids in school there always seems to be something that they are toting for one activity or another. When this happens I generally write a check fo an amount I feel comfortable with and make it a straght donation. In this way I am not buying things that I don't want or need and the entire donation can go to the class rather than just 40% (or what ever the portion is from the sales). I also ask how much is the cost for you to participate in this activity and then we will just pay up front and skip the fundraiser.

On the other hand, I work for a non profit Preschool/PreK. Let's just say it is no joke when I say I get paid pennies on the hour. It fits my life right now and has some flexibility so I stick with it despite the pay. Part of this nonprofit is that we have to earn a majority of our funds. the biggest fundraiser is an auction. Parents who have children attending the preschool/prek are expected to donate or solicit donations. I understand that bussinesses and in this town small bussiness owners who struggle themselves at times are bombarded with requests for donations. We had one bussiness owner who chewed a parent out rather strongly (to the point she was in tears) for asking for a donation. Now I totally understand that this bussiness may have been asked several times already this year for donations but a simple "we have already contributed to our preferred organization" or "we do not make charitable donations but appreciate your interest in our bussiness" or even "no thank you, we don't wish to donate to your organization" would have been sufficient, a total tirade wasn't necessary.

Respect on both sides of this situation should be used.

Mocharilla
03-18-2008, 01:00 PM
Not all churches. The one I work for and attend deliberately has never, ever passed a plate. We have donation boxes in a few locations that regulars and members can put their money in if they choose. When our church was started in 1997 one of the things discussed was how some people feel the church was always after $$. So a decision was made to never pass a plate. 10 years later, 1000+ people a week and a very healthy budget we still don't pass a plate. People who attend choose to donate without the pressure of a plate going by and we are able to do a lot of good things with what is given.

Allyson :)

Our church also does this, and I appreciate it. We write a check monthly and drop it in, and it's all taken care of. I know I have no worry of being pressured by a plate.

breezy1077
03-18-2008, 01:27 PM
Our church also does this, and I appreciate it. We write a check monthly and drop it in, and it's all taken care of. I know I have no worry of being pressured by a plate.


I'd love to go to your churches! :)