Grand Gatherings...? I give up!

[BroganMc]

Please tell me why do people (college graduates even) find it soooo hard to understand how DVC works?

That family trip I was trying to begin arranging for October next year...? Well it's not looking too good.

Doesn't matter that either I'd use up our entire year's points doing that (or have to borrow next year's as well), or that I'd have a better shot winning the lottery than getting 3 rooms at HHI in June/July/August (one of them handicapped accessible for me), or that I have already said I'd rather be shot, stuffed and stuck on a wall instead of be caught in Disney over the hot summer months.

So I quit.

Seriously 5 YEARS?! My dad'll be 81 and his grandkids will be teenagers. Then they (the teenagers) probably won't want to go to Disney either.

[nuts]

Please tell me why do people (college graduates even) find it soooo hard to understand how DVC works?

That family trip I was trying to begin arranging for October next year...? Well it's not looking too good. One SIL has decided she can't possibly take her then-to-be 3rd grader out of school for even an hour and besides she doesn't really like theme parks. (Yes, she's been to Disney before but not farther than IASW. I've tried, many, MANY times to get her to try something else like an afternoon tea or spa trip. She turns deaf and suddenly loses the ability to understand English. She's also planning on taking DN out of school for two cruises, and weeks in St. Thomas, BTW. Maybe they are more "educational". :lmao: )

Then the second SIL says if she gets the job at her public school system next year (she's a TA) she won't be able to take a vacation for the next 5 years. (She's apparently using it up on a cruise this Thanksgiving.) So she says, why don't we go in the summer or Easter week (not like it's that crowded, she says), or else to Disney's HHI resort. More relaxing without the theme parks. SIL One looooves that idea.:rotfl:

Doesn't matter that either I'd use up our entire year's points doing that (or have to borrow next year's as well), or that I'd have a better shot winning the lottery than getting 3 rooms at HHI in June/July/August (one of them handicapped accessible for me), or that I have already said I'd rather be shot, stuffed and stuck on a wall instead of be caught in Disney over the hot summer months.

The frustrating thing is that if not for these two women, their kids and their husbands would be in Disney in October in a heartbeat. I just wanna cry. I've been begged by these guys for their turn since we bought DVC. I'd even suggest the dad's go with the kids but then I'd be accused of dissing the moms.

So I quit.

Seriously 5 YEARS?! My dad'll be 81 and his grandkids will be teenagers. Then they (the teenagers) probably won't want to go to Disney either.

My deepest empathy and sympathy!! I know exactly what you are going through. I have no solution. I gave up! My SILs drove me insane.

[BroganMc]

My SILs drove me insane.

Hence the username, eh? ;)

[eliza61]

Aahh, another story of the 'ole family gathering. I think every one has war stories of trying (with all the best intentions) of hosting the family at wdw using your points. In my family it's my sister, the girl can't keep a commitment to go to walmart! Hang in there, remember what does not kill you (or lead you to murder) will make you stronger. LOL

[DISNEY FIX]

:confused3 Women:confused3

[LocustPoint]

I'm sorry your having so many problems with your family. I keep thinking of doing this with my DHs family and then I stop and think of a way that I can use the points! Have you ever thought of doing a trip with just one of the kids? I used to do this with my cousins that are much younger than me. It was better than having the entire clan along and it gave both of us very special memories that we have to this day. One of my cousins just wrote about one of our trips for a college essay-God that makes me feel old. I need to get back to Disney and soon!

Good luck

[jakenjess]

You have my deepest sympathies. Been there, done that. We've gone with a group a few times, and I do all the planning. Not that I mind, I really don't. I LOVE planning Disney trips. But it is so frustrating when you can't get a definite answer or basically any kind of input from anybody. I told DH that our next trip will be just us and the kids!! If anybody wants to join us, that's wonderful, but the planning is all theirs! I hope it works out for you.

[Inkmahm]

Tell me, what's the penalty for kidnapping your brothers and nieces and nephews for a few days? Might be the only way they get to Disney again. Not so funny, that's exactly what I do. We leave on Saturday for WDW and my oldest two nieces are coming with us. This is the third time I'm taking them to Disney. The first time they were 4 and 6 and their parents came along. Then I took the whole family when they were 9 and 11, although their dad paid for airfare and park tickets on that trip. Now they are 14 and 16 and I'm leaving their parents at home. Their younger brother and sister (who I have also taken to Disney before with parents) will be coming with us in December without their parents. They'll be 10 and 12.

I like taking the kids. The parents can stay home or come (if they want to pay for their share) their choice.

My sister is also coming with us on Saturday with her daughter. This will be our 3rd trip with them and we do fine together.

Anyway, I'd invite the whole family and if the SILs don't want to come, make it clear that the rest of the family is still invited to come without them.

[grizbuzz]

I just organized a trip for 11 of us (including my parents, MIL, my brother and his kids, and my family) for a 4-day Wonder and 3-day AKV stay. It was a dream of mine to be able to do this, but the reality of planning and executing the trip was very stressful. Took months to get everyone committed to go and then I was very stressed during the trip trying to ensure that everyone actually had fun. I don't think I'll do it again. Not everyone has to love Disney and just because you get people to go on the trip doesn't mean they will automatically turn positive about the trip once at Disney.

Maybe my trip is too fresh and maybe I will say something different in a few months/years....but right now I feel like in the future I will offer people the opportunity to join us and they either come or they don't and I won't force things to happen. It's a lot more fun to go with a group of enthusiastic, appreciative guests, even if a few stay home. Plus, traveling in a large group is challenging.

Good luck! I'd just say focus on those who really want to go and not those who don't. Unfortunately, sometimes the kids really want to go and the parents don't (or one parent doesn't), but leave that for that particular family to work out.

BTW...I'm SO looking forward to a trip with just our family of 4 next time!

[bub]

BroganMc - I understand how you are feeling about this. I have a SIL who can never come to see us - she doesn't like to fly - although they manage to get to Cozumel (on an airplane, of course) almost every year. Her mother is planning a family reunion for this coming summer - the first one ever - and she has decided not to come, for no real reason that we can figure out. Years ago when she was the only sibling who didn't make it to her grandmother's 90th birthday, Grandma's comment was, "She'll come to my funeral." And that was correct - she came, and made sure she claimed Grandma's fur coat!!

Ack - maybe it's better not to bring these two SILs to "The Happiest Place on Earth." But it's a bummer that you can't spend time there with your brothers and their children. It can be hard for teachers to get away during the school year, but when my family planned an October trip (my DH is a teacher) we managed a long weekend, so we were able to be there part of the time.

[TenThousandVolts]

Aw Brogan, sorry to hear your troubles. If they can't get away because of school schedules (or because of the school schedule excuse:rolleyes: ) there isn't much you can do.

I'd rather be shot, stuffed and stuck on a wall instead of be caught in Disney over the hot summer months.
This might be the only way if you want everyone there. :( I used to pull my kids out for trips but I just can't do it anymore- I went from being of the steadfast "never in the summer" sect a late August convert. :goodvibes Good luck.

PS: If they want the beach they can go to O.C.! I wouldn't even consider blowing through my points for HHI in the summer when you are already set with a beach place- 2.5 hours away, vs. a 10+ hour drive!

[PEANUT1]

that is frustrating....talk to your brothers and see what they say. In laws can be challenging, but your stuck with them.:)

[karrit2000]

My sympathies. After blowing two years of DVC points to take my brother & his unappreciative family in a 2 bedroom in June I vowed, never again. I tried to get them to go in January so we could do more & not wait on the endless lines but no, they couldn't take my then 7 & 9 year old nieces out of school because they would miss something important. They've been back a few time since on their own but they always went during school breaks or during the summer. I go when I want & do what I want when I want. If a friend chooses to join me that's great, otherwise I go alone and have a great time anyway.

[crisi]

I feel your pain. I'm successfully getting my two parents and one sister and her family down - but my other sister will very likely be a no show - after moving the trip once so she can make it. That is her choice - its her money paying for airfare and tickets, her vacation time - if she chooses not to spend her time and money with us, well - her choices. I feel sad for my parents, since I think this was probably the last chance at a family vacation and because it means accepting that she doesn't prioritize us nearly as much as we do her....but it is what it is. I can make different life choices for myself, I can only struggle to accept hers. (She is an alcoholic, so that complicates things).

As its turned out, moving the vacation has worked well. My other sister was going through chemo over the past year, by the time we take the trip she will have her energy back (she's raring to go now) and her kids - one of whom was not yet conceived when planning started - will be a little older (2 and 4). Plus, if my other sister is there, we won't be able to order a bottle of wine with dinner - much less go out on a monorail lounge bar tour. Her presence changes the dynamics fairly significantly. I had high hopes six months ago that she'd be sober and willing to go - she'd been sober and willing to go for about a year, but that doesn't seem like a realistic expectation currently.

[KLR-wlv]

I can relate - I'm trying to organize a family reunion for my parents 50th anniversary. Get a BC at Vero and a couple Inn rooms for relatives and my sister is like "Florida in the summer sounds dreadful" "All 10 of us in one place - sounds like staying in a tenemant" (she lives in a 500 sf apt in NYC and says a 2000 sf beach house sounds like a tenemant) and when she sort of changed her mind it was "well it has to be over the weekend because I can't take off work" and I'm like - well sorry - I can get a BC for 5 nights S-th or for 2 nights over the weekend...

So I'm thinking - maybe this is a horrible idea and I'll just take my parents to Vero and avoid the rest of the family!

[BroganMc]

Have you ever thought of doing a trip with just one of the kids?

Yup. Tried that. Was my first idea actually. When the kids reached 10 or so, they could have a special trip with their grandfather and aunt. Just a one-on-one-on-one thing. In my adult wisdom, I thought it would be a great idea if a relative of mine would have given me that opportunity as a kid. (I still treasure the memory of my blizzard weekend with my grandparents when the rest of the family was elsewhere. One of the few memories I have of my grandfather.)

I floated that idea back when my eldest niece was 8. (She turns 11 this summer.) It was fine until a month before the girl's 10th birthday. Then my SIL announced "No child of mine is flying anywhere without me." Something her neighbor decided and she soon adopted.

At the moment she and the neighbor are trying to figure out how they'll get from Maryland to Florida for a post-Thanksgiving cruise without taking the same plane as their husbands. Last I heard my brother was to fly with the neighbor's wife and my SIL was to ride with the neighbor's husband. I have no idea where the kids will be. There's this insane fear that the plane will crash and they'd orphan someone. Doesn't matter that they have a better chance at getting killed in a car accident driving the 900 miles down I-95 Thanksgiving weekend. No, planes are too scary and well "you never know".

(Note: I am probably the world's biggest chicken when it comes to flying, but even I got over it when it meant ever seeing London in person or Disney at New Year's.)

[iloveokw]

My mom hates it when I say it "but you can pick your friends not your relatives!" Nothing is worse than going on vacation with someone who doesn't want to be there - why ruin your family's trip?:confused3

[BroganMc]

All of your comments are great. Thanks for commisserating with me! (This why I love the DIS.)

FWIW, I just answered their e-mails with the facts of how much it would cost for those trips and what crowd levels were like at NYE. I also mentioned that Ocean City is our beach timeshare (2.5 hours away, 2bedroom/2bath, full kitchen, ocean front condominium we can use any time of the year and pay $10k a year just to maintain). OC has pretty much everything you'd get at HHI or Vero Beach, including the fishing/crabbing/outdoorsy nature treks to Assateague and elsewhere.

The husbands are trying to negotiate a compromise and say "we just want to be together and don't have to do any parks or stay on property". What neither of these women understand is the other background reason my dad and I have for inviting them. Yes, we can much more easily get a Marriott timeshare with bigger units, and have done so before. But when my parents started their timeshare portfolio (and I continued with my dad after my mom passed on) was the intention of building a portfolio for the family. So when we purchased DVC, my dad and I decided to add all three of my siblings' names to the deed. That way, we'd all have rights of survivorship and their households would have all the same perks of DVC membership. (I am recorded as the primary contact who handles all the points.) Dad and I pay the bills and use it, but we know there will be a time when we can't and the rest of the family could.

We didn't have to do it. It does get a bit messy whenever we add on points (have to get 5 signatures and IDs), but we thought it would be nice. So of course, we'd like my brothers to have the chance to see what membership is like. My sister has already gotten that benefit because she accepted my first invite last year. She loves staying on property and can't wait to return.

I dunno. Maybe it is a good thing that my SILs never let their families stay DVC. Next thing I know the TA SIL will decide she just has to take her family to Disney every year over the summer and why can't we just let them use 3/4 the points for her 2bedroom for the week? After all, Dad and you can just stay offsite at Marriott when you go in Spring and Fall.

I know, you can't lead a horse to water and make him drink. Curse me for taking up my mom's legacy of promoting family togetherness. I have arranged two or three Orlando vacations for the family before. The last one was 2005 but that was offsite and everyone used their own timeshare weeks. We just coordinated days. And yes I remember the fights that broke out when my niece decided she really wanted to do something with me when her mom wanted something else. (I got my feelings hurt bad because I was uninvited to a Cinderella breakfast because the mom thought her eldest daughter liked me better than her.) My patience wears thin at times.

[kimberh]

My mom hates it when I say it "but you can pick your friends not your relatives!" Nothing is worse than going on vacation with someone who doesn't want to be there - why ruin your family's trip?:confused3

I agree with this statement. Some of our family can barely get along for the 3 hrs we have to, over the Holidays. We only travel to Disney with those that really want to go. I have been with family that just didn't want to be there. I use to think that Disney changed everyone's personality once they entered the gate, was I ever wrong. They can still find something to complain about, all week long. It made for a long week! I said,"Never Again! I am so sorry you are going through this. I think you should talk to your brothers. I will say that my son went to a very hard school, he could not have missed in Oct. When he hit Highschool, our vacation style really changed. Now, my grandchildren are in the same school, I have to eat the points for... 2 bedroom, weekend nights. It kills me to do it, but I do. It is a sacrifice I have to make for us to have a family trip. My husband, will not go to Disney in the summer either. There are times, I have to except a point transfer to make this trip. On our first trip using weekend points, there were not any cash nights available with Member discount, I was complaining to my husband on how many points it was costing... he reminded me of how much fun we were having and that I had everyone there. What did I buy DVC for? I have never complained again. It is worth the extra points, I am building memories. One weekend night in a 2 bedroom in Oct, is 5 weekday nights in a studio in May, which is when I like to travel.
I hope this all works out for you. I agree...5 years is to long to wait.

[tomandrobin]

Sorry to hear about the family planning woes!

We have learned a long time ago just to tell everyone when and where we are going. If they want to come, great. If they don't want to go, we don't care anymore. We are too tired of trying to convince everyone to have fun and vacation together.

[Quiksilvr]

This thread is making me dread trying to organize vacations with my parents and siblings (and my wife's parents and siblings). I think we'll have to do the "we're going from x to y, come if you want." Otherwise someone will always need a change made to suit their schedule and I just don't have the patience to deal with the aggravation.

Brogan, I also agree with you that you shouldn't blow your points on HHI when you have a condo in OC. I despise OC personally, but I recognize that it's a great beach vacation for many and definitely has more to offer than HHI anyway.

[dzorn]

Yup. Tried that. Was my first idea actually. When the kids reached 10 or so, they could have a special trip with their grandfather and aunt. Just a one-on-one-on-one thing. In my adult wisdom, I thought it would be a great idea if a relative of mine would have given me that opportunity as a kid. (I still treasure the memory of my blizzard weekend with my grandparents when the rest of the family was elsewhere. One of the few memories I have of my grandfather.)

I floated that idea back when my eldest niece was 8. (She turns 11 this summer.) It was fine until a month before the girl's 10th birthday. Then my SIL announced "No child of mine is flying anywhere without me." Something her neighbor decided and she soon adopted.

At the moment she and the neighbor are trying to figure out how they'll get from Maryland to Florida for a post-Thanksgiving cruise without taking the same plane as their husbands. Last I heard my brother was to fly with the neighbor's wife and my SIL was to ride with the neighbor's husband. I have no idea where the kids will be. There's this insane fear that the plane will crash and they'd orphan someone. Doesn't matter that they have a better chance at getting killed in a car accident driving the 900 miles down I-95 Thanksgiving weekend. No, planes are too scary and well "you never know".

(Note: I am probably the world's biggest chicken when it comes to flying, but even I got over it when it meant ever seeing London in person or Disney at New Year's.)

I must say I would have no choice but to make a few wife swapping jokes in front of them.

Denise in MI

[dzorn]

We took my sister our first family trip.
My 12 yr old DN on our second.
DSis and Dmom on the disney cruise.
Taking Other SSis and spouse next Feb.
NO way could I handle everyone at one time. I spend to much time worrying about everyone having a good time.
I will happily tell everyone where we are going and they can plan it out on their own. Only select few (probably each trip) would I do all the planning.

I will be happy to recomend the passporter book.

Denise in MI

[BroganMc]

This thread is making me dread trying to organize vacations with my parents and siblings (and my wife's parents and siblings). I think we'll have to do the "we're going from x to y, come if you want." Otherwise someone will always need a change made to suit their schedule and I just don't have the patience to deal with the aggravation.

It's really not that terrible but it does bring family issues to light. For instance, as the youngest kid my views or comments always get dissed first as a "she can't possibly know anything". I have a hard time earning respect with my sibling elders. Doesn't matter that I'm a college graduate, a published novelist and run my own business, and am well over 25. In their eyes, I'm still a yapping 8 yr old who has tantrums. :rotfl:

My brother had a good e-mail response to my factoids. He basically pleaded the "but I want to be with my dad in Disney dagnammit!" Brought the SILs to heel I think. The idea of using points for HHI or VB is out. (I could let them entertain the idea but as controller of the points, I'd never let them do it. I may be crazy but I ain't stupid.)

Now they're talking about using their timeshares to stay offsite during the summer and others stay onsite. (You can bet you're bottom dollar Dad and I will be some of those onsite. In a studio at SSR enjoying the pool and walks to DTD for extra double berry-tinis at Raglan Road for me.)

Being there in the summer is not my first and last choice, but in talking with my dad we decided we could take one for the team. It's not like we can chose anyone's job for them. (Though we both agreed never to work for a county public school system or any employer with such ridiculous benefits rules. JMHO. I believe I'm a home schooler and parochial schooler at heart.)

I gave them a few more suggests to chew over with pro's and con's. They'll fight all my details, suggesting I am having a tantrum and being pushy. Yet I have to try.

My sister's family had such a good time with my dad and I last October. (And if anyone remembers my trip report you know how frustrating that was for me.) While he's and his grandkids are still young enough to enjoy a little Disney magic together, I have to keep trying to make it possible. For my mom.

I still remember when we were in Crystal Palace for my dad's 71st birthday. Piglet commandeered by dad for the birthday parade around the place. Here he was, skipping, smiling and high-fiving a 5 foot pink pig playing a little drum. My mom looked at the video with tears in her eyes and said, "I just love seeing him be like a kid again."

Everyone should have memories like that, if they can.

[BroganMc]

Hee hee. So now SIL1 decides she might like this trip after all. Why? I mention my wish to break up in little groups with likeminded interests like "all the ladies go to a spa day". She loves that idea.

Just you watch. They'll be loving this thing by the time it happens and then my brothers will be high-fiving each other for their great idea in making it happen.

Oh well. When my sister drove me bonkers last October first day, a quick trip on Tower of Terror cleared my sinuses. I might be visiting a lot.

[Quiksilvr]

It's really not that terrible but it does bring family issues to light. For instance, as the youngest kid my views or comments always get dissed first as a "she can't possibly know anything". I have a hard time earning respect with my sibling elders. Doesn't matter that I'm a college graduate, a published novelist and run my own business, and am well over 25. In their eyes, I'm still a yapping 8 yr old who has tantrums. :rotfl:

I know what you mean. The dynamic of a family is hard to change with so much water under the bridge. I'm at the other end of the sibling spectrum; I have two younger siblings. If I know them, they'll want to come with us to WDW because we're footing the lodging bill (and that's perfectly fine with me; it's one of the reasons I bought DVC). But, they'll still have to stick to my schedule. I'm a lawyer with very large and very...demanding clients. When I can get away is when I can get away and they'll just have to deal with it.

It sounds like things are coming together for you a bit though, so that's good.

[BroganMc]

I know what you mean. The dynamic of a family is hard to change with so much water under the bridge. I'm at the other end of the sibling spectrum; I have two younger siblings. If I know them, they'll want to come with us to WDW because we're footing the lodging bill (and that's perfectly fine with me; it's one of the reasons I bought DVC). But, they'll still have to stick to my schedule. I'm a lawyer with very large and very...demanding clients. When I can get away is when I can get away and they'll just have to deal with it.

I wish I had that ability, but I'm the peacemaker of the family. Which means I spend most of my time trying to make everyone else happy and hope at the end of the day they remember me in return. Sometimes it works, but usually from the next generation or the previous one. The current one...

Latest is the TA SIL has figured out that if we use all but 5 of our points (425 out of 430) then we could all still go to Disney in the summer next year for 5 days. :rotfl: My original invite used about half that amount at a time we usually go. Her way we could not travel to Disney at all next year except for the 5 days spent with and let's be honest FOR family.

I love 'em and I'm generous, just not that generous.

Ah well, it'll probably work out eventually. We're just going to negotiate for a while.

FWIW, I do see why several people here have such a tough policy when it comes to sharing their DVC.

[disney0210]

We just joined last week and still got last year`s points. We then planned a week in October at AKV, our home resort. Only cost us 74 points. I thought to myself, `great, we`ve got tons of points for next year.` Don`t know what went over me but I asked DH if he wanted to bring along his side of the family with us and we will foot the accommodations. He said it was a great idea so I did all the research and made a proposal to my two SIL`s first. Showed them how much it would cost them if they went on their own and had to pay for everything, and how much it would be if we already took care of the accommodations. Guess it was too sweet a deal to pass up so now they are all coming. It was very easy though because SIL1 had 2 kids that have wanted to go for a while but they couldn`t at the moment. SIL2 was single. SIL1 is a family of 4, SIL2 will be staying with MIL and FIL. And since then, SIL3 also wanted in. We have now reserved 3 studio`s to accommodate us all - using up 222 points (so now I borrowed from next year`s points!). I am okay with separate studio`s for all of us - I figured it`s okay we vacationed all together, but still we have that `alone` time.

We hope we don`t get burned by this sudden act of generosity. Sharing gives such a nice feeling that I don`t want to ever have to say `what a waste, wish we just used up all the points ourselves`. We just felt our DD5 will have so much fun with her cousins at Disney that sharing the points was a no-brainer. I`m just concerned that if anyone happens to say anything bad about Disney while they`re there on our points, I might take it personally :-(

I guess we`ll see in October if we will be travelling by ourselves the next time. :)

Hope things work out for you.

[casper]

Hee hee. So now SIL1 decides she might like this trip after all. Why? I mention my wish to break up in little groups with likeminded interests like "all the ladies go to a spa day". She loves that idea.


I took my mom, dad, nephew, brother, and SIL last summer. We had a great time! Except my SIL. She always wanted to eat at fancy resturants (which my brother couldn't afford), she never offered suggestions on what she wanted to do, but complained about it being "a waste of her time and a waste of her vacation." Oh! But she made this complaint about 30 minutes before we all left. I just looked at her and said, "I'm sorry. If you weren't having fun you shouldn't have been laughing and smiling all week." I'm not planning on asking her to go again. Which is a shame, my brother was having the time of his life. So I might just plan a trip with with the "guys." But somehow include my mother in it.

BroganMc I'm a closet fan of yours! I read a lot of what you write and really enjoy your trip reports with your dad. The Mohawk was crazy and fun. If I wasn't bald on top, I would have tried to get one like your dad. Someday, I'm sure we will meet.

And do you suppose Walt had it all wrong. It's not the ugly step-sisters we should fear, but the SIL!!! Maybe we should sell the idea to Pixar?

[tjhsr]

Just before we left on our March trip DW call my sister and want to know if we could bring our niece and nephew in May and to think about it while we were gone. We didn't offer to take my sister just the kids. Well they are coming for there 1st visit and my sister is staying home. That way we are in charge not my sister. Hope you can work something out with the SIL. By the way BroganMc our niece and nephew live in the Crofton Area.

[babiektcher]

Not everybody feels the same about Disney as the rest of us here, but I feel sad for them.:sad:

[Sammie]

My brothers couldn't even go for a guy only trip to Vegas last year when my dad turned 75 because their wives wouldn't let them. Instead we had to have a family party at my sister's house.

Here is the answer to why you can't get this off the ground, I mean come on, their wives would not let them.:confused3 Your brothers need to establish some guidelines for they have a life too.

If that is what they want, however be warned sometime men hide behind their wives rather than tell a family member they are not interested.

[kikiq]

I still remember when we were in Crystal Palace for my dad's 71st birthday. Piglet commandeered by dad for the birthday parade around the place. Here he was, skipping, smiling and high-fiving a 5 foot pink pig playing a little drum. My mom looked at the video with tears in her eyes and said, "I just love seeing him be like a kid again."

Everyone should have memories like that, if they can.

Gosh, your mom and my mom must be sitting together just yakking away about family memories. My mom's last trip planned was a December DCL/WDW trip but she passed away unexpectedly that summer before. We decided as a family to go anyway. It was like she was with us. My mom loved those Disney memories. It is the reason we bought DVC for my family to continue the memories (my dh's family doesn't do disney).
Keep at it, like you I'm determined to make this trip work while my dad is still able to get around,(although he was a little miffed he's not at the Poly until we showed how much it would be for all 10 of us to stay there and a promise that he could come with just our family another time and stay a day or two at the Poly before going to SSR)

PS I enjoy reading your posts. Plus you make us very happy to be SSR owners.

[tomandrobin]

If that is what they want, however be warned sometime men hide behind their wives rather than tell a family member they are not interested.

My wife told me to tell you that this statement is not true! :lmao:

[Slakk]

Some of you may remember about my posts about my Grand Nightmare that I went through in January. I have the ungrateful brother and his family and my sponge-like parents (who love to use my points all the time).

It was the BEST experience I could ever have because now I know my points are MINE MINE MINE MINE and MINE.

I will not offer one night in a studio at HH in December on a Tuesday (basically as cheap as you can get) to anyone in my family ever again. My brother and his family wanted to give me NO idea what they wanted to do then after one day at the parks decided that they were Disney experts and made every mistake a newbie could make then whined and complained. Understand I footed the bill for a Savanah view 2BR for them, my parents paid for their dining plan, their kid's plane ticket and their park hoppers.

My parents tagged behind them as unpaid nannies and ignored my son (they all live in the same state and we are 2000 miles away). We still are not really speaking - it was a rotten 5 days and loss of a year's points.

The thing is the issues in our relationship were magnified at WDW so I truly believe people should not invite others unless they have a great relationship or hide thicker than a rhino because two months later I still have not spoken to my brother and maybe a handful to my parents.

Not trying to be a downer....but trying to throw some reality out.

[Mickey'sApprentice]

BroganMc:

I soooo understand. Unfortunately, my sisters did finally cooperate and go on our trip. DH and I wished under our breath that it had been just the kids all week. My nephews got it. They had a magical time - even though their parents were oblivious about it. I did overhear my 8 yo niece say, its nice and all but really not worth the money. :headache: Her Mommy and Daddy prefer sitting on the beach on vacation. :beach:

I'm also "the baby," and am perpetually 5 years old. When exactly will I be old enough to understand whatever the heck it is that they are going through? I know that Mom didn't make me do as much housework when I was 8 as when they were 8, but that is no reason to give me the short end of the stick for the rest of my life.

They pretty much thought I was out of my mind for pushing this trip. After they all got back, they thought to themselves, "Gee it sure was nice that we could all spend a little time together as a family." Doh!

Overall, even though our trip had some high points, I would say overall, it was a disaster. The country song say..."If it don't come easy, you better let it go." That is so true.

Be glad that you have your Dad supporting you on this. When I planned our trip, my Dad said "I wouldn't walk into WDW if I was standing there with a free ticket." Little did he know, that could have been arranged, or maybe he did know. My sisters did say it would have been nice if he would have at least wanted to see Disney with the grandkids.

[crisi]

Here is the answer to why you can't get this off the ground, I mean come on, their wives would not let them.:confused3 Your brothers need to establish some guidelines for they have a life too.

If that is what they want, however be warned sometime men hide behind their wives rather than tell a family member they are not interested.

My father's mother is sort of a demanding pill of a woman. So for YEARS she's been demanding my parents do this or that, and when its time to say "no" its my mother's job to do so.

After about thirty years of this, my mother wised up. By being the one with the "no" responsibility (she had the yes and invite over responsibilities too, but Grandma never remembered that), she looked at my dad and said "she's your mother - I'm done." Now she makes my dad say no. My grandmother still blames her, but at least my mother isn't playing middleman.

In truth, my mother is the one looking at my father to say "when was the last time you stopped by?" or "maybe we should go out to brunch with your mother." But its so much easier for my Grandmother to blame my mother for her son's inattention than it is for her to blame her beloved son.

After watching this dynamic for years, I straight out told my wonderful mother in law "its between you and him - if you think we aren't being attentive enough, that isn't my problem. If you want a Mother's Day card, he sends it, not me." She laughed - she had a mother in law once, too.

[sajetto]

Brogan, I understand how a grand gathering can be tough to get off the ground, but I can understand why some of the people invited won't attend. I myself am a school teacher and will not leave for any reason other than a death in the family or terrible illness. Its a big no-no in my school to take off for a vacation.

Also, it is wise to be very selective when arranging these gatherings. As Slakk pointed out, they can be the cause of hard feelings if the wrong people are invited. We invite my parents along with us for trips, but they are the only family members we will take. Anyone else that goes along with us are close friends who are just as fanatical about Disney as we are. Unfortunately, most people just don't get the Disney magic:confused3

[BroganMc]

Thanks for all the words and sympathy! I half feared I'd get flamed for whining about family vacations or challenging school schedules. I do understand the family's concerns and am trying to accommodate. I've already reconciled myself to a summer trip. (I would have just accepted the declined october invites, but my brother practically begged for a day in Disney with my dad.)

Now I'm trying to figure out exactly how I'll deal with my SILs during the trip. One I expect won't be very happy and the other will want to control everything. Knowing me, I'll be disturbed until I can find a way to please the first SIL and I'll be driven to tears or homicidal fantasies about a dozen times by the second SIL.

Dad and I worked out a way we can get each a room, but we'll plan our main trip around my sister's family (the one we always vacation with and can count on). That way, if the SILs cancel last minute, I can release their rooms and still bank the remaining points (my deadline is August 1). I think it also may be wise to let them arrange any group sit-down meals or other events. If I try, I fear there will be bloodshed.

As for me, well I plan to enjoy the pool and sneak off to ride Haunted Mansion a few times. That bride in the attic is beginning to look hauntingly familiar. ;)

[BroganMc]

My brother and his family wanted to give me NO idea what they wanted to do then after one day at the parks decided that they were Disney experts and made every mistake a newbie could make then whined and complained.

SNIP

Not trying to be a downer....but trying to throw some reality out.

That is good food for thought. I'm sorry it was such a painful experience for you.

My family is usually fairly close just extremely opinionated. Our first adult trip to Disney 10 years ago began with a two hour debate how we were each going to get to the airport the next day... from 4 different households. It was insanely ridiculous.

I'd need to grow an extra hide by trip time though because I know if anyone's hopes get dashed it'll be mine. I'm half tempted to just send them on the trip and stay home alone to enjoy the peace and quiet. June in Maryland can be quite pleasant without my family.:cool2:

[crisi]

I'll tell you what we are doing.

My sister and her husband and two toddlers, plus my mother and father, are joining my DH and my two elementary school kids in October. My other sister may but probably won't show up along with her fiancee who may or may not show up with or without her.

We have two two bedrooms at the BW. My sister and her family will share one with my mom and dad. My family will be in the other. If my lost sister shows (she has some major issues - alcoholism, problems holding a job) she can have the studio part of our two bedroom (a lockoff, so we can seperate her), and my kids will have the living room.

Everyone is responsible for getting to the resort on their own. Everyone is responsible for getting home. I'm providing rooms.

We have one dinner scheduled all together the night we arrive. We have one scheduled together two nights later. The kids are doing a Pirate cruise, and we have a character meal scheduled. My mother insists on sitting for us one night, so my sister and her husband are going out for a romantic meal at one restaurant, DH and I at a different restaurant (it isn't romantic to have your sister and brother in law along). She really wants two nights, but two romantic dinners in a week is a little much - the four of us are talking about maybe doing a monorail bar hop or something.

We are in the process of sketching out which park each family will tentatively be at. There will likely be some swapping of children. There are a few attractions I'm going to really recommend we fit in as some sort of family experience before splitting off. I think everyone should watch the little kids ride Dumbo when we first arrive in the MK - in fact I think we will do one MK morning dedicated to watching small children enjoy Fantasyland. The Safari at the AK is another one that I think is best shared and will be enjoyed by everyone - and Festival of the Lion King. Enjoying the West side of Future World is a good intergenerational activity. But I don't really care if people stand around while me and my kids ride Space Mountain (my son and I are going to be the only likely SM riders), nor do I really care to ride IASM more than once or accompany toddlers home for naps. Most of us are early risers (or willing to be such for a Disney trip), so the together time is mornings and meals.

Anyway, best wishes. Keep your expectations reasonable. Make a list of a FEW things you'll be disappointed if they don't happen, encourage others to do the same, and work together to make sure those lists get done.

[JCW]

Sorry to hear of your issues, unfortunately, it seems all families are the same;)

Without getting into the gory details of our family trip two years ago, here is what we learned from our family trip planning experience.

DH and I now decide when WE are going to WDW and how many points WE will need for that trip. Then, we let our families know our plans and tell them what points we have left (and what room type and # of days it will get them). Then, whoever confirms first that they are going, gets what's left of our points. Everyone else is then on their own for their rooms (they pay cash).

No longer will we try to get everyone in agreement on when we should all take the trip and THEN plan the trip. What a nightmare that turned out to be.:scared1:

For our trip this past December, everyone was invited, but as it turned out, just DH and I went. :hug:

However, SIL and my parents are now asking when OUR next trip will be, so they can plan accordingly. At least they are all quick learners:thumbsup2

[Jeremy&Susan]

Sorry to hear of your issues, unfortunately, it seems all families are the same;)

Without getting into the gory details of our family trip two years ago, here is what we learned from our family trip planning experience.

DH and I now decide when WE are going to WDW and how many points WE will need for that trip. Then, we let our families know our plans and tell them what points we have left (and what room type and # of days it will get them). Then, whoever confirms first that they are going, gets what's left of our points. Everyone else is then on their own for their rooms (they pay cash).

No longer will we try to get everyone in agreement on when we should all take the trip and THEN plan the trip. What a nightmare that turned out to be.:scared1:

For our trip this past December, everyone was invited, but as it turned out, just DH and I went. :hug:

However, SIL and my parents are now asking when OUR next trip will be, so they can plan accordingly. At least they are all quick learners:thumbsup2

I like that approach, we may start to use that. Leaving family up to their own in regard to planning a trip is a big mistake.

Last year we planned a family gathering and 3 months out my family backed out saying they couldnt afford it. Amazingly they bought a 40 foot camper the month after they cancelled due to finances.
This past year again the offer went out and the in-law side either couldn't afford it or kept wanting to go at peek season, when we didn't have enough points to cover everyone.

Form now on, "This is when we are going, do you want to join us?". I like that approach.

[BroganMc]

Form now on, "This is when we are going, do you want to join us?". I like that approach.

Believe it or not, that has been my approach up till this one trip. I even started out doing that. Simply an offer to use points for their rooms (for weekdays with the caveat we couldn't afford Fri/Sat nights) to join us in October next year.

At first one brother responded with a rejection since it only works for weekends for him. So I figured he was out. (They rarely join us anyway and then usually just at the last minute.)

The other brother was all excited about it and immediately accepted. Got everyone all worked up and excited. But then SIL's job threw the wrench in the works. I figured, too bad, so sad, maybe next year.

But before I could respond, it evolved into SIL1 trying to convince everyone in the family that we could do a Disney beach vacation next summer instead (she discovered DVC had HHI and VB as well). SIL2 chimed in expressing interest and suddenly my initial October offer was turned into something I neither authorized nor even considered. (Dad and I were talking about a Jersey/Atlantic trip or one to Europe next summer.)

It is a good warning about where the bounderies should be in DVC contracts. I'm still kinda stunned that anyone thought they could answer my invitation with a perversion into something else rather than a simple yes or no. It was downright rude.

FWIW, I have taken other folks down before, even to our DVC. This is the first time something like this has happened. Most of my family and friends accept when they can and decline when they can't. No one has ever asked me (or in this case commanded me) to change my plans to suit them.

I'm backing off now. Let the subject rest for a while. My plans will revolve around my sister's family and my dad. What they want to do is what I'll do. I'll probably end up hanging out with them the most anyway. I'm just kicking myself for ever entertaining the idea of a summer trip just to please my excitable brother. I really don't want to go that time of year. Besides with Fall & Spring in Disney, I won't be able to do anything different next year.

[dianeschlicht]

Another one here who just says WHEN we are going and WHEN anyone who wants to go along must let us know by. If we don't hear from anyone, we go with just the two of us or invite other friends. It is NEVER "when can you go", but "we are going, do you want to join us". The dates are up to us, and the rest have to decide if they can deal with it or not. Now, with the grandkids and our own adult children, we do accommodate a bit, and next January DH's brother and his wife and son will be joining us. We did plan specific dates that worked for them, but they have traveled with us before, and we know it will work out well. As for the rest of the family....they don't "get it", so we don't ask them.