Need to vent..am fuming right now.**UPDATE**

[thelittlemermaid83]

:mad:
Sorry to come on here and vent but im really angry right now with DD's Dad.

Cut a long story short, he walked out on us when she was 7 months old, moved to Newcastle, seen him once in year, never bothers with her at Christmas or her Birthday's and now has just had a Son.

This man has paid like no child maintenance in nearly the 2 years of her life, and when he does get a jobs its only 2 months after he starts i find out and that was only because he put his employment on his Myspace page. Well FINALLY after months of the CSA faffing around and me getting angry at them, beginning of Feb i recieved a payment plan and how much he will have to pay in maintance.

Well now it the time to pay....and guess what he hasnt :mad: the CSA have called him today and he told them to phone him back at 4pm (he prob wont answer there call) and he since has tried to negioate payment with me claiming he cant afford £210, i nearly chocked laughing when he sent me some text message about how he can give me so and so. I obv texted him back saying thanks for the offer but im not up for negioations, so he sent me some really abusive message back saying I'll get my £$%^$£% money and oh by the way DD now has a brother. Clearly trying to hit me where it hurts, but luckily i am now mature enough not to lower myself back to such stupid comments.

I then called the CSA who were shocked that he was trying to negioate a payment with me, so i informed them that they are collecting the money and the amount declared by them. They said they are hoping to get a credit card payment off him this afternoon.

I text "him" back and calmly said that he can either pay off his own back or look embarrased when his employer takes the money out of his wages and then everyone will know he has a child he doesnt look after and that yes i cant understand he is miffed off right now but so am i having to struggle for 2 years without any finanical help from him and im doing the best i can to give DD a good life. What a suprise that he hasnt replied.

I am just so angry:mad: he still seems to able to get away with out paying child maintence , and yet has just gone and popped out another child.
I just hope the CSA can get a payment off him or im thinking of just giving up as it looks like hes gonna be one of these men that always avoid payment.
The CSA know where he work etc they just seem to do nothing.

All i ever asked was for him to try and be a good dad, and i feel that its my fault that DD has very small contact with her dad and now this.:sad1:

Looks like another rubbish month for me :(

[wideeyes]

sounds like a right pain, can understand why you are angry. At least your DD has got you who is doing your best for her.

tbh if this is how he messes you about it probably best he is not in your DD life so he can't mess her about too.

:hug: :hug: :hug:

[thelittlemermaid83]

tbh if this is how he messes you about it probably best he is not in your DD life so he can't mess her about too.

:hug: :hug: :hug:

He made some comment about how i can spend the money what i like, i think he reckons the money is for future Disney trips... :rotfl:

[Snowy-girls]

Sorry to hear of the probs you are having to put up with at the moment,but do not give up,he is entitled to pay and should do so-you giving up is probably exactly what he want's.As for your daughter,i am sure(i know i don't know you personally)that you are doing the best for your daughter and people who are always around you will obviously see that,and as for my opinion from what you have said about him-it's not a bad thing that she does'nt see him all that much-he obviously can't be bothered-which i know is'nt a nice thing to say but you are just shielding her from that,and that is'nt a bad thing.Take care and hope you get it sorted.x.x.

[jen_uk]

People like that make me mad! :mad: My friend is in a similar situation, she has 2 children that her ex husband refuses to pay for yet he has just had another child with someone else. :sad2:

[The Fetherstons]

:hug: Good Luck to You:thumbsup2 and hope you get it all sorted out soon, take care:wizard:

[wideeyes]

, i think he reckons the money is for future Disney trips... :rotfl:

so what if you do:) you and your DD are entitled to that money and if you want to spend it on taking your DD to Disney then that is up to you as are raising his child on your own while he has not even paid her a visit! I don't think he has any right to complain.

[natalielongstaff]

:hug: he sounds like a lovely man !!!!

[thelittlemermaid83]

so what if you do:) you and your DD are entitled to that money and if you want to spend it on taking your DD to Disney then that is up to you as are raising his child on your own while he has not even paid her a visit! I don't think he has any right to complain.

If he did complain i would tell him to stick it :rotfl:
Ive fed and clothed his child since the day she was born so i dont think its any of his business what i did with him money.
Least DD could look back and be like "well his money did come in use for something" :rotfl:

Not heard from the CSA yet, but my phone is on the blink. If i dont hear from them today i will be phoning them on Monday ready for another all out war :idea:

[Chilly]

Good luck in sorting it out, keep at the CSA :hug:

[CustardTart]

Hope it gets sorted, Emma! :hug: This kind of situation makes my blood boil so I hope the CSA get him to pay up... :mad:

[mandymouse]

:hug: So sorry to hear that you're having problems, I hope you get it all sorted

[thelittlemermaid83]

:hug: he sounds like a lovely man !!!!

His looks are deceiving...just like our daughters :rotfl:

The CSA are closed now so will be ringing them on Monday.
Least i know if he doesnt pay up they will take it straight from his wage packet at the end of March, so more fool him.

Hes been sending me swamry text messages all day :mad: so i hope i get the last laugh.

Thanks everyone for all the kind words :grouphug:

[The Fetherstons]

I hope you sort it out Monday with the CSA Good Luck Emma:wizard:

[jjk]

Good luck with CSA on Monday,hope you get it sorted:hug:

[kristieuk]

:grouphug: I can completely understand your anger and frustration. Hope it gets sorted very quickly, the sooner he accepts his financial responsibility, the better

[carolfoy]

have been in the same situation for around 11 years myself. i have always insisted tho that callum has regular contact with his dad. now he's getting older he completely understands his father hasn't paid a penny for him. I hope he appreciates me a lot more for it.

[jns]

sending you some :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:

hope you get it all sorted out on Monday
try and enjoy the rest of the weekend

:flower3: :flower3: :flower3: :flower3: :flower3: :flower3:

[tennisfan]

I hope you get it sorted soon:hug:

[Nubbedy]

Hope everything gets sorted for you on Monday Emma. :hug:

Sara. :)

[Ware Bears]

My friend went through exactly this with her boys ~ it was really hard at the time but now they are grown up with children of their own and really appreciate the loving stable life their mum gave them and have no time for their father who surprise surprise wanted to be in their lives again once they were adults and he'd not have to pay for them. :mad:

Good luck for Monday and :grouphug: for you, Emma.

[Cyrano]

Hope you get this sorted out for the good of your DD :)

[BRobson]

I hope it all gets all sorted out for the better tomorrow Emma :hug:

[thelittlemermaid83]

Thankyou to everyone for your replies :goodvibes

Am feeling a little less stressed today and am interested to hear CSA's next plan of action tomorrow.

Will let you know the outcome.

[Booknut]

Good luck tomorrow Emma, am sending you lots of pixie dust!! :hug:

[Strommie]

Hope it all gets sorted Emma :hug: :wizard:

[Minniespal]

Hope you get it sorted out Emma:hug:

[thelittlemermaid83]

I spoke to the CSA earlier and they told me he has refused to give me any money which i knew, i can read the man like a book. So they have set up today a automatic deduction from his earnings which can take upto 6 weeks (CSA never seem to do anything quickly do they lol). But they said by middle of April i should start recieiving money from him.
So unless he quits his job, i think thats a good result.

I did want to text him and say some abuse and ha ha, but i would rather him get a nice suprise when he sees his next wage packet. I would like to take a photo of his face.

So with his money ive decided i might put it away to take Kyra Disneyland Paris at Christmas, go Christmas Eve and come home Boxing Day. Not sure yet need to look at prices. Or im going to save it all and take her there next year and stay in the Disneyland Hotel or go WDW.
Gives me a good excuse to send him a postcard lol.

[Minniespal]

Sounds like a good result Emma:thumbsup2

[The Fetherstons]

Good on you girl.:thumbsup2

You start looking at those holidays:cool1:

[Chilly]

great result

[jns]

Good to hear you are getting it sorted out at last

[wideeyes]

glad you got a result!:)

[BRobson]

Great result :goodvibes

[Snowy-girls]

Good outcome-and you done the right thing by not texting him-as you would only be lowering yourself to his level-as he done the same to you.I bet you would love to be a fly on the wall when he opens his wage packet.x.

[Queenie]

Definately don't text him, if he's that sneaky, he might go and quit his job JUST to squirm out of payment. How I would love to see the look on that guy's face when he sees that on his payslip!

[Cyrano]

Good advice from everyone about not texting him.
I thought by the way, your employer had to tell you in advance of any deductions they made. They cannot however refuse to make deductions otherwise they could be taken to court themselves.

[tigger300686]

I can completely understand where your coming from emma, altho in my case i was the DD. It really annoys me how ppl dont take responsibility. I'm glad you will be getting some £££ off him but like Reid has said i believe his employer will have to tell him. At the end of day he's missing out on something far more important than money , something which you will always have- the love and respect of your DD.

[tony64]

He will get a letter at the same time as his employer so he will know before the first deduction.