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allie_to_you
01-22-2008, 07:32 AM
Has anyone ever adopted a baby on the Disboards. MY DH & I are planning on trying to have a baby and are seeing a reproductive specialist next month, but we are also keeping our option open to the possibility of adopting a baby. It's so hard though to know what online companies are reputable and it seems sooooo expensive.

Any advise? Recommendations?

mom2kazkids
01-22-2008, 07:42 AM
DH and I have 2 children that we adopted from Kazakhstan over 6 years ago (where does the time go). There are loans, tax credits and other ways to finance adoptions. Also all the money is not due at one time, some of it along the way, and the majority of it at the end. Our process from 8 months from start to finish.

Barb

budbeerlady
01-22-2008, 07:44 AM
I know there was an extensive thread on the community board. You might want to also post over there.

kandeebunny
01-22-2008, 07:48 AM
My mom adopted me in the early 80's from Catholic Social Services here is the link to the adoption page for your state:
http://www.bhmdiocese.org/viewsocsrv.php?id=1

I know that they didn't pay that much, even relative to the times it was still lower cost than a lot of other options.

Best of luck!

PilotWife
01-22-2008, 07:52 AM
My DH and I adopted our oldest son from the Ukraine almost 5 yrs ago. I agree with the previous poster....money is not due all at once...we used Carolina Hope Christian Adoptions out of Columbia, SC. We were very happy with our experience. Also, look at your employer benefits, sometimes they (business) offer adoption money, because they do not have to pay the extra expenses of prenatal healthcare, so they pass this on to their employee. My DH was given 2,000.00 for adoption expenses, and also the state of GA gave us 2,000.00 for adopting a special needs child (he had to have eye surgery, and heart repair-hole in his heart). BUT this was all money that was reimbersed after the adoption.
Good Luck - we did 5 yrs of treatments (did not work for us) before adopting, then having 2 children of our own - no treatments. Always try to stay positive.

Jennifer

livndisney
01-22-2008, 08:01 AM
I adopted my daughter thru an international adoption program. I don't think the words "affordable adoption" quite go together;). Like another poster said there are grants, loans and tax credit available. It CAN be done!

To my knowledge the lowest fee adoption is from the fostercare system here in the states. Usually they are older and/secial needs children. They may also be a part of a sibling group. (I have NOTHING against fostercare, special needs or older child adoption-my DD was an older/special needs adoption and it was the BEST thing I have ever done).

To request thru a domestic agency an infant adoption is more costly. There are attorney fees, medical care for the birth mother, agency fees etc.

International adoption has many different programs and countries. Some countries are closed. Some countries have VERY specific rules regarding health, money # of children in the home.

Whatever route you choose check your agency/attorney carefully. Speak with people that have uses their services.

A good place to start is www.rainbowkids.com it has TONS of info.

DawnM
01-22-2008, 08:17 AM
We adopted from China. We did pay out a lot upfront, but we are getting it almost all back over time.

DH's work reimburses 5K
Federal tax reimburses 11K
NC state tax reimburses 5.5K (or half of what federal will allow)

We paid around $24K and are getting back (over time) $21.5K

Check into programs through your work and look at what your state will allow you to take as a tax credit.

Dawn

taylorsmommy05
01-22-2008, 08:18 AM
Hi!!
We adopted our daughter in 2005. She was placed in our arms when she was only a day old! The Absolute LOVE of our lives!! We are actually in the process of our second domestic adoption now! We are so excited!!
The cost can be very overwhelming... but like the other posters said it is not all due at once... there are also many companys who will help with expenses... some may make you wait until the adoption is finalized... US adoptions are usually about 6 months to finalization...although it varies by state! Also, there is a 10 thousand dollar tax credit you can claim once the adoption is finalized!
oh and for our first daughter we waited 3 months from the time our paperwork was turned in!! This time we are just at our 3 month mark :dance3:
We also went to the fertility dr, and decided after our first visit... not to procede and go the adoption route... I could not imagine life without my little blonde blue eyed angel!!
Good luck! Keep us posted. If you have any other questions, please PM me!
Oh I should say our Domestic adoption cost just under 20 thousand... we got alittle over 10 grand back for the tax credit... and 5thousand from DH's company!! This was in 2005, Domestic is not as much as people think! Our agency and many agencys do not allow Birthmom expenses...

daughtersrus
01-22-2008, 08:29 AM
A good friend of our family started a foster care agency about 12 years ago and in the last few years has added adoption. In addition to domestic adoptions, his company is accredited with Lithuania and the Philippines. I'm not sure what the cost is for Lithuania but a Filipino adoption runs about $10,000 + travel costs.

If you'd like a link to his website, let me know and I'll send you a PM.

Best of luck!

neatokimmo
01-22-2008, 08:34 AM
I just came home with my daughter and I am researching all countries for my second.

There are no affordable programs for children under three. The minimum is 20K, even if they tell you it's less, things pop up. You do get the 11K tax credit over 6 years, but if you don't make a lot or have other deductions it takes a LONG time to get that back.

If you are open to an older child, you can register with your local social services department. I know someone whose adoption was 3K that route, mostly court fees.

extremesoccermom
01-22-2008, 08:39 AM
We adopted our daughter from Romania (which is now closed) in 1999. We used HOLT International. Ofcourse the year after we brought her home my employers started offering an adoption credit so we missed out on that but we did recieve the money back in our taxes and because of our tax bracket we were unable to claim it all so we sold some of our credit to my cousin for 90cents on the dollar. I am not real sure how it worked my uncle is a CPA and he did all the paperwork.
We looked at both domestic adoption and international and found that there was not much of a price difference. We were looking for an older child so we opted for international since they usually don't have the issues that the domestic older kids that have been in foster care have had. But unfortunately that did not work out. Our DD14 (which I love to death and is becomming an independent young lady) has really had a hard time. She has since been dx with Mental retardation, ADHD, and fetal alcohol effect. I have to believe God sent her to us to really be able to help her reach her full potential and not be turned out onto the streets in Romania at the age of 16.

My sister is adopting her 3 child right now. Her first was domsestic, second from Guatamala and now the third from Guatamala. She has been very involved with a number of adoption agencies in Missouri and volunteers her time to help other parents.

sarahlovesmickey
01-22-2008, 08:40 AM
Have you contacted your local Child and Family services? Here we are called Division for Children, Youth, & Families. (DCYF)

NMW
01-22-2008, 09:27 AM
My cousin adopted from China 2 years ago. Adorable little girl. She decided against the domestic route after her friend adopted a little girl and the birth mother changed her mind 4 weeks later. My cousin said she would go crazy worrying about that.

Deffenm
01-22-2008, 09:53 AM
Adoptive mom here. As you can see from my profile DH and I have adopted 3 children. We went through infertility treatments for a couple of years and then we decided to look into adoption. We looked into international, domestic, and the foster care system. After cafefully reviewing our options we decided on working with our local children services agency. We had an approved homestudy by the end of March and our 1st son was placed with us in Oct. He was 2 years old. He has blond hair, green eyes, and has the best personality. We did not pay anything for the adoption the state paid for it. Well after having such a wonderful experience with DS we decided to add to the family. We started working with the Agency again in July and in Nov. we were matched with DD & DS. We weren't looking to add 2 children but after looking at their picture and hearing their story we couldn't say no. DD was 2 and DS was 7 when placed with us in Dec. and their adption was finalized in July of last year. Once again we did not pay anything the state covered it all. "Older Child/Special Needs Adoption" is not for everyone. Did I get to experience my children's first words or steps, no. However the look on their face when they got to do something for the first time (fly in an airplane, trick or treat, go to WDW, stay in a hotel room, eat Chinese food) is just as precious to me. You and your DH need to sit down and determine what you can deal with. There are a lot of issues and questions that come up with any adoption. DH and I realized with our life style that we didn't need to be the parent of an infant. We love to travel and camp and our children are able to enjoy these things with us from day 1.

I wish you the best of luck with your journey. It won't be an easy one no matter what your decision is. Good Luck and if you would like to know more about Older child adoption please ask. I don't mind sharing how we became a family of 5. :grouphug:

angwill
01-22-2008, 10:36 AM
We were there also and decided we did not want to do infertility treatments since adoption was something we really wanted to do. We looked into all types of adoption and all countries through the internet and decided to adopt an older/special needs child through our state. This is truely the least expensive initial option but all children cost money over time. lol Each person is different in what they want and can handle so look into all options before you chose what would be best for you and DH. You might want to look into getting your home study/background check/fingerprints done now while going through infertility treatments so the stuff that takes the most time will be done before you even choose that route. The waiting and other peoples unwanted opinions were the hardest things for us to conquer.

Our son was 4 when he was placed with us and labeled unadoptable by the state due to his special needs. Well he was very adoptable to us since we adopted him 7 months later. He is now 13 and a happy, loving, smart, and sweet child with lots of energy. He is the best thing that happened in our lives and all those around us who shared their opinions and doubts love him too. I honestly could not imagine that I could have any more love in my heart if he had been my birth child vs adopted.

Anyway, you are not alone and what is meant to be will be. There are many ways to come up with funds for adoption. Our local churches funded a lot of adoptions from Haiti a few years back. There are also special adoption loans. Each country has different fees etc.

If you have any questions feel free to PM me and if I can help I will.

LanaJae
01-22-2008, 10:42 AM
We know two families that both adopted new babies through social services agencies. They had to do a bio of their family with pictures and were chosen by the birth mother (no list). The birth mother required pictures and annual updates for one family; and nothing for the other, but wanted the records available for the child whenever she requested them.

The costs were about 12K for one family, and one employer covered about 5K of that. The costs for the other family were lower and I can't remember why, I think it was a county adoption rather than a group like Lutheran Social Services.

The family who went through a private social services agencies hired someone to help them do their bio and they also had counseling on what to expect when meeting and being interviewed by potential birth parents. Of course this is not for everyone, but both families got the child of their dreams in a rather short time, less than 18 mos.

Jynohn
01-22-2008, 11:00 AM
My husband and I are considering adopting from China and while the initial cost seemed out of our reach, I agree with those who pointed out that the expenses aren't too bad when you consider that they are spread out over time. For example, the agency we are considering estimates the fees (including travel) to be about $20,000. However, the initial fees for fingerprinting, home study etc. are only about $2,000. Since the current wait for a match from China is about 2 years, we would all that time to save for the remaining expenses. While it's still a substantial amount of money, it's a lot more manageable knowing we can get the process started and still have quite a bit of time to save.

allie_to_you
01-22-2008, 12:09 PM
Thanks everyone for all the advice. Right now, I think we are just going to proceed with trying for a "natural" birth using the reproductive specialist. We have an appointment next month so wish us luck and keep us in your prayers. My husband & I just want a baby so bad. We both love kids and want to start our family.

Please keep the advice coming as I will check back on here and reference all this if and when the time comes to pursue the adoption route.

crisi
01-22-2008, 02:20 PM
We adopted years ago from Korea - all out of pocket, there was no tax credit in place at the time, neither of our employers had reimbursement programs.

But the cost to adopt the child - as expensive as it was - is NOTHING compared to the costs of having children. So think long and short term about the expense.

There are lots of reputable agencies out there - I'd recommend starting by going to the orientation for a few near you, its easier in person than it is to read over the internet. You'll also very likely need to be FINISHED with your infertility journey before you start the adoption one - agencies sometimes won't work with you if you are still trying to get pregnant - and if you do get pregnant while adopting, it often stops the process with no refunds on money paid.

The other advice I have is to think now about how far down the fertility path you want to go - it can become "just one more try" and "just one more thing." Until you are doing things that you wouldn't have considered starting out.

Also, be aware that you age out of a lot of international programs if either of you is around 40. Just like fertility gets harder as you get older, adoption doors start closing as well. If that is an issue.

This site is excellent if Korea is appealling to you www.adoptkorea.com (I'm assuiming its still there).

OlderMan
01-22-2008, 02:28 PM
...(9 and almost 11) were adopted in China.

The fees (back then) were around $15,000, or so. That included domestic adoption agency's fees, "donation" to Chinese orphanage, airfare, hotels, tips to guide/translator, visas, etc.

Expensive, but worth every penny!

rparmfamily
01-22-2008, 02:28 PM
DH and I are really considering doing Foster-to-adoption as an option for us. We'd both like 1 more and feel the call to adopt a child out of the system here in the state.

sl_underwood
01-22-2008, 06:24 PM
We have adopted two through foster care and are currently in the process of adopting our third child also through the state foster care agency. Adopting through foster care is virtually free, they pay your legal fees, etc. You may have to pay to travel (we did the first time though we didnt ask about reinbursement) I have friends who have adopted children as young as a few weeks old though most are over two. If you are willing to foster infants, your chances are higher but there is some risk involved with foster care. We chose to be legal risk foster parents, this meant the children would most likely be available for adoption but it wasnt 100%. You can chose to only adopt or list yourself as all of the above. If you want more info, feel free to PM me.

grammynelliebelle
01-22-2008, 06:25 PM
Good luck and God Bless! Grammy

allie_to_you
01-22-2008, 06:38 PM
I did look today into doing a foster care program through our state. If we went with this option,we really want to foster really young children under 2. The process can be just as long as adoption but it is another option for us and there is always the possibility of adoption that way too.

torinsmom
01-22-2008, 06:48 PM
I am hoping to adopt one day and I will definitely go through our state social services. There are so many children right in our backyard waiting for a home! It is very sad that so many children are labeled as special needs and hard to place. A Social Services worker once told me that many non-white children are labeled this way simply because they are not white, while most people adopting are white and want a white child! That is heartbreaking to me! I would take any child, regardless of race.

Marsha