FAMILY CRISIS - Please note

[SusieStone]

I do not know how to start this.

I have a young son that just turned six. Wednesday night I asked his father at the last minute to go trick or treating with us. It was a grand time and the best night we had had together as a family since out divorce. Actually this past Sunday, we went to church together and ate dinner on the grounds afterwards as a family.

Anyway, we talk several times every day and know everything about each other. He has never dated since we divorced as his prayer was I would always be his wife.

Anyway, within 2 hours of beginning trick or treating, son and I decided to walk home from where DEH had parked when He picked us up (we were in front of my 3 cub scouts houses and sons best friends).

We said bye. DS and DEH kissed hugged and my son said it had been the best night ever. ....we left waling done the street, son skipping in one direction and father smiling and waving while getting in his Jeep. Twenty minutes later, BFs mom called and said Virgo was asleep in car and they couldn't wake him up. Praise God, I was T or Ting at a policeman's house and he went with me down the street. EMS was called. By the time we were there, he was unresponsive, gasping, vomiting, and seizing....he was laid on the ground until EMS arrived.

Thank God I left son with policemen's wife and my mom went and got him.

From beginning a nurse, I recognized by his posturing that he was more than likely brain dead or heading in that direction.

When Ems loaded him, he was only taking two or three breaths. 2 hours after the last picture of son and his father, he was on a ventilator and four hours after that, he was made a DNR, life support was removed. I held his hand and prayed over him as he choked and gasped and for fifteen minutes relieved every good memory we had ever had.....and some of the not so good ones.

The chaplain was at the bedside and read a prayer from a book.....at the end of the prayer, the 2 nurses and I prayed the Lord's Prayer with him. As the last Amen was said, Virgil's heartbeat stopped and he was pronounced dead after that.....2:15 AM on All Saint's Day.

I told my 6 year old yesterday morning. Don't ask me how I did it. - It was God.

I told the school - dad had been at the class party the day before.

Yesterday my young son (birthday was just in Sept) - my tiny man and I went to Wilkerson's and together we identified his father's body for cremation and the owner of the funeral home was awesome with him.

I have purchased a hand carved duck to keep some of the cremains and he picked out one that he thought had eyes like his dad. He and his dad always spoke of the day they would be able to duck hunt together.

We know that his sweet daddy is in heaven with Jesus right now. he never had any pain at all...his last memory would have been us walking away .....

The Celebration of Life Service will be at Covenant in Greenville on Saturday at 2 PM.



So, why am I posting here.....i am not thinking about swapping right now. Do not think I have flaked or have your packages.....I just have to get through the next few days.

Thanks guys.


Susie

PS. Rebecca Thanks for swapping the pages with his dad in them with me.

[Kim1964]

I am so sorry for your loss. Thoughts and prayers are with you and your son.

[PrincessNancy96]

OH, Susie.. I am so sorry.... Please call if you need anything... If I were closer I'd come help out....
give your DS an extra tight hug for me....
Thoughts and prayers are with you and your DS and the family...

[MazdaUK]

OMG!:sad1: How terrible for you and your DS! :angel: :grouphug: But what a gift that your last memories of being together were happy, with no harsh words or anything.

Don't do anything you don't feel like - you need to be there for your DS, and there for yourself.

Please let me know if there is anything I can do, but have a long distance :hug: to be going on with.

[knovak]

Thoughts and prayers are with you! :grouphug:

[AlexWyattMommy]

There is nothing I can say.
Prayers will be said.
:hug:

[Mickster]

Oh Susie! I am so sorry! Prayers will be said here too. I'm here if you need anything.:hug: :flower3: :hug:

[ddavis860]

Susie, so sorry for your loss.

What a blessing that DS has those great memories of his Dad.

:hug:

[vanyel]

What an horrible experience! I'm so sorry for your family's loss. As others said, it's wonderful that your last time together will be a happy memory for both you & your son.

[Faerie]

Susie I am so sorry for you loss.

[BernardandMissBianca]

Susie I read your post on the cricut boards before I got here. I am so sorry for your loss. Big hugs to DS from me. Mazda is right, he gave his son the ultimate gift and that was perfect night out as a family. '

Let me know if you need anything!!! If you need me to swap the stuff out just load it up and mail it to me whenever you are ready.

Hugs and prayers to you, DS, and Virgil's family.

[lewdyan1]

Thoughts and prayers for your whole family.:grouphug: :wizard:

[mommy2mrb]

I am so sorry for your loss, am sending you all a big :hug:

don't worry about the swap stuff, its just stuff.

Take all the time you need for yourself and your DS, God did give you both a wonderful gift with your last visit, cherish it and all of your memories.

You know we will be here if you need us. Love you all, prayers and hugs.

Lisa

[jennyL]

I'm keeping you and your son in my thoughts and prayers.

[bigsis1970]

Oh Susie - please take care of your family. I am so sorry for your (and your DS's) loss... I will be keeping you in my thoughts.. Michelle

[YodasMom]

My sympathy and thoughts are with you and your son, Susie. Take care of yourselves.

[Michellepooh]

Oh, Susie, how horrible!! I can't imagine what you and your DS are going through and feeling right now. Please know you both are in my thoughts and prayers. :hug:

[hopemax]

Words fail me. I can't imagine a beautiful evening ending so horribly. It will be a comfort to have been together in the end. Take care of your son, but don't forget to let someone take care of you. :grouphug:

If you want, and can manage it, you can throw your swap in a box with the Surprise swap and we can sort&swap it out here. Many of them are going to the same homes, so if it takes the postage sent to you, to mail it here, there is postage sent here already to get things back home.

[angelmom]

I am so sorry for you and your son. :grouphug:

[Yzerbear19]

How horrible :( I am so sorry. My thoughts and prayers are with your family. :hug: to both you and your son. Take care of yourself.

[aroyer]

Susie, I am so sorry for your loss! I read this on the Cricut boards too and I didn't realize it was you! You and your son are in my thoughts and prayers! :grouphug:

[happypooh]

Am so very sorry for your loss...praying for you and your dear son...may God provide comfort during this tough time...:hug:

[missesdisney]

Susie - I am so sorry for you and your son and I am thinking of you. I am in awe of your strength to just even type that out to us....take care of your family.

[rlovew]

Susie I am praying fopr you and your son what an experience. I am glad you have the treasured memories and pictures to hold onto though.

Rebecca

[piratesmate]

Oh Susie, I'm so sorry! I'll be keeping you and your little man in my prayers. Take care of your self!

[SusieStone]

Thanks everyone.

http://www.legacy.com/Reflector/Obituaries.asp?Page=LifeStory&PersonID=97164424

I will stay in touch.

[TPCShauna]

Susie, I am so sorry. My heart goes out to you. Thank goodness you both have some good memories from your last few hours together.

My thoughts are with you.

[BernardandMissBianca]

Susie please let us know what we can do to help. I have some people that are willing to take over your swap spots and I will mail everything from you groups to you. I know that is sounds so petty at a time like this but scrapping is therapy and I would hate for you to stop. Your DS needs those memories more now than ever before.

I'm am deeply saddened for you and your DS. But my heart fills with joy that you were able to spend his final hours enjoying your sons youth and innocence together as a family. God Bless you, and know that you are in our hearts during this sad time.

[KatDisney]

I like so many am beyond words. I can't even begin to imagine your loss. My heart and prayers to you, your sweet son and family. If there is ANYTHING anyone of us can do for you please do not even hesitate to ask. I am so happy your last moments together were happy ones and will be a memory you as well as your son will forever cherish.

Susie, I will also echo Hope's words

" If you want, and can manage it, you can throw your swap in a box with the Surprise swap and we can sort&swap it out here. Many of them are going to the same homes, so if it takes the postage sent to you, to mail it here, there is postage sent here already to get things back home."

[party of 3]

OMG Susie i am so so sorry for your loss. I know that there are no words anyone can say to take away your pain, but please know that our thoughts, hugs, prayers and love are with your and your little man. Your son will always have those wonderful memories of his dad and hopefully that will help him during this most difficult time.
god bless-
holly

[123SA]

I wish there was something I could do to make this time easier for you. I'll be praying for you and your son.

[bearbear]

I am so sorry for your loss. I will keep you and your son in my thoughts and prayers. I can't even imagine what you or your son are feeling. Just know you can always turn here for comfort.
:grouphug:
Cindy

[Downrivermama]

I am so sad for your loss. Hugs and prayers.:hug:

[momx3boys]

So sorry for your loss Susie, thinking of you and your son.

[happycampers]

Susie,
Read your story on the Cricut boards and came here. :grouphug: Again, I am so sorry for your loss. I am so glad you and your son had a nice time that evening to keep in your memories. I wish I lived closer so I could help you and your family in some way. Please, if there is anything I can do from here, I would be more than happy to. Like others have said, I am certainly willing to swap out your swap if you want to send it here. I would also take an angel spot in your place. Just say the word. You and your family are being lifted up in prayer. :hug:
Beth

[kaddjr]

:hug: Sorry for your loss. I will keep you and your son in my prayers.

[ksjayhawks]

I am sorry for your loss.:grouphug:

[StitchIsOurHero]

Susie, I'm so very sorry! Please, please let me know if there is anything I can do. You and your son are in my thoughts and prayers! :grouphug:

[Tigger1221]

I know I don't post much but I wanted to let you know you and your DS are in my prayers. I am very sorry this happend. He had a great last day.



:grouphug: :grouphug:

[SusieStone]

I have a bereavement day on Monday and plan on swapping out and taking pictures that way. i will also mail out the surprise swap that day. Believe i needsomething to do besides cry. Cold packs are not helping anymmore.
mean your trick or treating night can't get much worse thatn your husand dying in the yard.

Stone is all into the handmade cards frineds have sent becase he realized how time consuming to make a card for someone else. i plan on making him a rememberence book if the event. In masculie colors. His favorite bible verse was Jeremiah 29:11. So if you have any extra eleents pages or ideas, send them my way.

I have so much scrpping to do and my son keeps looking i th albums and wants them done. I fiish, if every sent 20 layours in, then maybe it wouel make a dend in it.....LOL

I need to make thank you cards - when will I hace the time....what us that fairy I hear?

Thanks to all you swetties for prayers and IMs

I don't even know how to start a swp for thank you for your sympathy card,food/visit, a swap wouuld be nice but I don't think that there would be much response .


http://www.legacy.com/reflector/Obituaries.asp?Page=Lifestory&PersonId=97164424

I would like to share this site.

[BernardandMissBianca]

hugs honey!! Do you scrap 12 x12???

Don't you worry about thank you cards! You need this time with Stone.

[SusieStone]

hugs honey!! Do you scrap 12 x12???

Don't you worry about thank you cards! You need this time with Stone.

Yes, I scrap mainly 12 X 12....debated doing 8 X 8 on this one becasue of the time frame and it owuld be them

We have flu shots at doc
school party
pumpkin carving
scouts
bird ffeeding
church
went and got flu shots otgether at the pediatrician's office.
sold 650 dollar of popcorn
eating lunch
songs - Midnight Cry and Eye is on Sparrow
Creamains will be placed in a cared mallard duck.

The awesome book - The Next Place.

Lists of member and rememberances.

I thought about making a book just for them as they had been plaing ball togethet - football, socer and baseball this week.

i hav to do a section on All Sts day an he Chritian meaning of Halloween.

This bok will be just for him. His classmates have sent 30 handmade cards for him. It is absolutely awesome. I plan on taking some pcitures and saving the power point show. If they burn it for me, I will share.

Thans

SUsan

[cinderellakh20]

Bless your heart - your son and you are in our prayers - let us know what we can do to help...:hug:

Kim

[MomOf2DisneyKids]

oh Susie, I'm so sorry for your loss. Lots of hugs and prayers for you and your little man. :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:

[Dreamer & Wisher]

Yes, I scrap mainly 12 X 12....debated doing 8 X 8 on this one becasue of the time frame and it owuld be them

We have flu shots at doc
school party
pumpkin carving
scouts
bird ffeeding
church
went and got flu shots otgether at the pediatrician's office.
sold 650 dollar of popcorn
eating lunch
songs - Midnight Cry and Eye is on Sparrow
Creamains will be placed in a cared mallard duck.

The awesome book - The Next Place.

Lists of member and rememberances.

I thought about making a book just for them as they had been plaing ball togethet - football, socer and baseball this week.

i hav to do a section on All Sts day an he Chritian meaning of Halloween.

This bok will be just for him. His classmates have sent 30 handmade cards for him. It is absolutely awesome. I plan on taking some pcitures and saving the power point show. If they burn it for me, I will share.

Thans

SUsan

Susie, I am so sorry about what happened. Please except my condolences.

The book sounds wonderful. My DH lost his father when he was 11 and it is very difficult. He cherishes every memory.
:hug:

With love,
Nancy

[ohMom]

my thoughts and prayers with you and son and family during this time of loss..may God comfort you and bring you peace

[AlreadyexcitedGrammy]

My heart is saddened to read of your loss. Hugs and prayers and may God the Heavenly Father, be so very close to your family at this time of grief. It really was a bit of "joy" in your story that the last memory Stone has will be one of a loving father wanting to be with him and sharing the last few days together. It just reminded me how much God does love us even in times of trials.
My sympathy to all and may your love for one another (family, friends) help as you "just get through" the next few days.

[New England Eeyore]

So sorry for your loss, Susie. I'm just seeing this now. Much hugs and prayers go out to you, Stone and Virgil's family. :grouphug:

[SusieStone]

I really appreciate all the kind emails and words from you girls.

Pray for us. The family is being horrid.

Home Depot gave Stone the wooden models out of his dad's locker on Saturday when we went by before the funeral and we were going to put them together yesterday after church....

you won't believe this.....Stone has been ignored for a couple of days but that is okay - he doesn't realize, but yesterday...

one of the brother in laws called and demanded that I return any and all of the items I removed from Virgil's locker at Home Depot (which I didn't do) and blah, blah, blah....by the end of the day. It was horrid. I had to explain to his son, that we had to give those items back and that he couldn't even have the magic marker that came out of the locker. Tears, Tears, Tears.

I called Virgil's best friend who is an attorney and will be the trustee of the estate (insurance money) left to Stone. He has called hem and said they have no right to do that. I am returning everything to him today. I asked him to tell them that they are not welcomed to call, come by, visit or anything (if they ever decide to) .....I could tell more, but I just do not trust them.

Stone can't even get out his East Bake oven that was in his dad's room.

Can you imagine?

Thanks for letting me vent.


I have to have my will redone today and redo school emergency forms, etc. and then I guess I need to find an attorney. My CPA is going to help me understand this trust stuff.

[New England Eeyore]

More hugs, Susie. :grouphug: You'll get through this - just take one day at a time.

[lewdyan1]

More prayers for you and Stone. I am sorry you are going through this additional grief.:hug:

[MazdaUK]

The biggest problems for weddings AND funerals are ALWAYS family - its so sad. :hug: for you and a special:hug: for Stone. (And personally I bet they don't know everything that was there:rolleyes1 but I'm just a bad person, I guess :guilty: )

[party of 3]

oh Susie i'm so sorry you have to go through this extra "crap". we will certainly keep you in our prayers. like NEE said, just one day at a time.
all of our love to you and Stone. we will be thinking of you and sending good thoughts today and everyday. :hug:

[AlexWyattMommy]

I realize that everyone deals with grief differently, but lashing out at family is NOT acceptable. I am so sorry they are doing this to you and Stone. Thankfully he has you on his side.
I don't know anything about legal stuff, so I can't give any advice there.
Let me know if I can help with anything else though.

[ddavis860]

:grouphug: Shame on them!

[mommy2mrb]

what an awful thing to do to Stone, people can be so petty and cruel. Know we are here for you both, so vent away when you need to. sending you both BIG :hug:
Lisa

[PrincessNancy96]

Susie that is awful that Stone is dealing with that.. Good for you to contact the Trustee of his will.. please don't let those type of people get to you.. They are selfish and always forget about the important people in Virgil's life..and of course that would be you and especially Stone... You did nothing wrong...nor did Stone and you know that.. it's the BIL being a petty jerk...I agree with NO more contact with them.. I wouldn't either.. inquire w/ the trustee and see if it comes down to it if he can help you or point you to the right person to help you get a protective order against them if the need arises.. I know grief is handled differently but the focus should be on Stone..and how he is doing not being petty brats like they are now...

[jenr812]

My heart is broken for you and Stone. Sounds like you had some beautiful final moments with Virgil. I am so sorry for your loss. It is awful how Virgil's family is behaving. I will keep you all in my prayers. May God give you strength, peace, and hope to get through this.

[BernardandMissBianca]

Susie I'm sorry you are dealing with all that garbage from family. You have us for family though so that more than makes up for it! Don't let them push you around. Also I was thinking about it today, talk to the Trustee about Social Security Death Benefits, Stone might qualify. I know DH did until he was 18.
Don't say anything to his family and if they call you only refer them to your attorney. They will try to goad you into saying stuff and getting mad, don't do it. Did you have a lawyer for custody when you and Virgil got divorced? If so I would contact them too, you don't want his family trying to take Stone away.
Crazy things happen from grief, DH's family tried to say MIL killed FIL when he passed away. The oldest son 26 years DH's senior actually went to law school hell bent on proving she did it or had him killed. Stupid stupid stupid! FIL's former wife also tried to take the Social Security Death Benefits by filing first, MIL had to go down to the SS office with divorce papers from the other wife and her marriage cert. and DH's birth cert.

Hang tight and know that we are here for you!!!!

[djackow]

Susie, our love and prayers are with you and Stone, I am sorry you have to have additional trauma in your life right now, but know that by being an unselfish ex and keeping your son together with his father as much as you seemed to, you have taught your son a beautiful life lesson-he will always know he was loved by both parents!

[Dreamer & Wisher]

Oh Susie I am sorry to hear that they are acting so horribly.:sad2:

DH's family acted kind of odd about his father dying too. They wouldn't come to DH's house ever after his Dad died. They never helped his mother with the kids. She was left alone with 4 small children. THere was a time where DH's father was in a nursing home because he was unable to walk, talk or feed himself before he actually died and The family argued with DH's mother about hosting Birthday parties and special occasions with DH's Dad.
:hug: To you and Stone.

Hang in there. Just do what you have to do for Stone. I think he should get Social Security money too, my DH and his siblings got it.

[SusieStone]

Oh Susie I am sorry to hear that they are acting so horribly.:sad2:

DH's family acted kind of odd about his father dying too. They wouldn't come to DH's house ever after his Dad died. They never helped his mother with the kids. She was left alone with 4 small children. THere was a time where DH's father was in a nursing home because he was unable to walk, talk or feed himself before he actually died and The family argued with DH's mother about hosting Birthday parties and special occasions with DH's Dad.
:hug: To you and Stone.

Hang in there. Just do what you have to do for Stone. I think he should get Social Security money too, my DH and his siblings got it.


I have an appointment with SSA THursday afternoon.

Thanks for thinking of us.

[SusieStone]

I was a busy girl yesterday.

Ex family can do nothing to me or Stone as I am not unfit, in drug rehab, etc.:cutie:

Stone's report card came home yesterday and he will get a nine week award in assembly on Wednesday - How awesome is that!

Trustee who is wlso Executor same by last night - we were given the stuff out of the locker on site last night. :cool1: He was actually giggling over the car when he saw it (of course he has to remain impartial).

He has dealt with the family and explained to them in no uncertain terms that Ex BIL had no right to call me that way and it is not their place.:thumbsup2

All is good. I am getting our life together and I am back:surfweb: - at least as I can

Susan

[AlexWyattMommy]

I'm glad that Stone will have those few momentos from his Dad.

We know you are good Mom! We will all be there for character witnesses if you need us.

Thanks for the update.

[PrincessNancy96]

Great to hear Stone got back what was rightfully his.. See I told you that Ex-BIL was being a jerk!

Yep, we know you are a fit mother...but sometime ex-families are foolish and will try anything to get attention for themselves..even lie!

We've got your back! :)

BTW, congrats to Stone!! Way to go!!! What an accomplishment!!!

[mommy2mrb]

Congrats Stone on your school achievement, we know how proud your mom is of you. Happy you got your daddy's stuff back too, you and your mom take good care of each other!:hug:

Lisa

[BernardandMissBianca]

Congrats Stone!!! What a great accomplishment!

and congrats to Mom for raising such a strong, smart little boy. You are both very lucky to have each other.

And as everyone else has said, we have your back hon!

[marlynnp]

{{{Susie}}} Sounds like Virgil chose well when he picked the executor of his estate. ;)

[party of 3]

Congrats Stone on your award!!!!! Good for you. Have a great day at the assembly today!!!!!

[aprilvaca04]

I'm sorry just doesn't seem to say enough about what you and your son are going through:grouphug: I hope things begin to look up for all of you.

[mommyoftwinfants]

:hug: I am sorry for your loss Susan, glad that Stone got to spend that best night ever with daddy, and tell him Way To Go on his achievement..:woohoo: