View Full Version : Why is it so hard?????

10-04-2007, 05:33 AM

I seem to be having a few problems at the moment. I will try and explain without going on and on and on :bored: :goodvibes

As everyone knows I am Aux Nurse and I am not sure whether to stay nursing or change careers. I went into my Ward Managers office yesterday and said that I wanted to hand in my notice. Her face dropped and I felt guilty. I back tracked what I said and wimped out totally. I ended up saying that it was Bruce's job that I needed to quit for so I could join flexi bank full time. However, I also ended up getting flustered and saying that I wanted to go full time :confused3 I said I wanted full time nights, but meant permenant nights. I then felt stupid and didnt want to correct myself. I phoned this morning and left a message with the Charge nurse that I meant part-time permenant nights. My dh wants me to quit anyway, because of the hours and flexi bank would be ideal for our family life. I cant seem to be able to quit.

I feel sick to the stomach all the time and I hardly slept at all for the last two days worrying about handing in my notice. I dont want to dissapoint my work friends who has pleaded with me for the last few days to not quit and to stay. I just want people to think its totally out of my control why I am quitting. So I dont upset anyone.

This sounds so silly writing this right now, but I am a total wimp.

Bruce also wants to move to Canada when he qualifies :eek: .Is there any point me training to be a nurse if I am leaving all the policies are different. My qualifications will not be recognised. This idea I am hoping is a pipe dream.

My question is, why is it so hard to just hand in my notice? :confused3

10-04-2007, 06:17 AM
:hug: i know just what you mean...i constantly worry about upsetting people or letting them down and yet they don't seem to care about my feelings at all :mad:

im so sorry you are feeling like this ! good luck x x

10-04-2007, 06:25 AM
If the shoe was on the other foot would they care too much about upsetting you and your other colleagues.

At the end of the day you're no happy, so tell them that. I would hate to work with someone who just didn't have their heart in it anymore.

You need to do what's best for you and your family because at the end of the day the only opinion that matters is theirs and the only support you will get is theirs!

Just tell them you don't want to upset or hurt anyone but you just don't have the heart anymore and you're not enjoying it so you want to leave.

Good luck :hug:

10-04-2007, 06:39 AM
I wish I had some advice for you, and I'm sorry that you are in this situation but all I can say is that you only have one life - and you should only worry about you and your family. I know it's hard to let people down - but you owe it to yourself to be happy in whatever job you are doing

:wizard: :wizard: Good Luck with your decisions:wizard: :wizard:

:hug: Mandy

10-04-2007, 07:56 AM
I had this dilemma a couple of weeks ago Michelle, and it is hard, even though I hated my job, when it came to putting my notice in I was worrying for three days before, I am a natural fretter anyway ! When it came down it, it all went very well, they wished me well for the future and understood my reason, I even got some lovely leaving presents !! Michelle, I know its hard, but you must do what you think is right for you and your family, big hugs to you.

10-04-2007, 08:39 AM
Michelle what a problem you face,
If it was me i would just do it, but then thats me all over.
All i can know say is try to think of your self & your own health cause if you don't stop worrying it's you that suffers in the end, so do what is right for you & your family at the end of the day.
I know not much use on these matters but will be sending hugs & pixie dust for you

10-04-2007, 08:42 AM
Michelle what a problem you face,
If it was me i would just do it, but then thats me all over.
All i can know say is try to think of your self & your own health cause if you don't stop worrying it's you that suffers in the end, so do what is right for you & your family at the end of the day.
I know not much use on these matters but will be sending hugs & pixie dust for you

forgot to add them on DERRRRRRRR
:thumbsup2 :flower3: pixiedust: :grouphug: :disrocks:

10-04-2007, 10:43 AM
It can be very hard when you are in this type of situation.

I was in a similar place about four/five months ago. I had worked for the same company for 11 years, the job was alright but it did not give me the flexibity I wanted. (DD had started school and holiday cover was a nightmare). I toyed with the idea for about six month before I finally plucked up the courage to even apply for any job. I felt sick telling my line-manager that I needed time off for the interview (she is also a good friend). When I was offered the job I was really happy but also sat and cried as I felt as though I was letting my team at work down. When I handed my notice in I had to send the letter by e-mail as I knew that I would not be able to deliver it by hand. My last week was awful and I went from being really happy because it was last week to being near to tears because I knew that I would miss the people and felt a little guilty at leaving.

But two months on I am really enjoying my new job and am so happy that I made the decision to go. My line-manager says that I am still missed, but that they are still surviving and has invited me back for the Christmas meal.

The thing that made this easy for me in the end was because I knew that I really really did want to leave and try something new. I had no doubts when the crunch finally came, it felt right, I knew that it was what I had to do.

Although as other have said your family should come before your work colleagues, sometimes you need to come before everybody else. Only you know which of the choice feels right for you.

Good luck in coming to your final decision:flower3:

10-04-2007, 11:51 AM
sending you some :wizard: :wizard: :wizard: for what ever decision you make ,

10-04-2007, 12:46 PM
Oh boy...........I've no advice for you as I'm just the same.....worrying about upsetting other people.........even if it means that I'm unhappy............:confused3

My eldest DD tells me I'm a complete 'pushover' but I just tell her it comes with the job (nursing :rolleyes: )

Sending you some hugs and pixie dust to, maybe, help 'toughen you up' ;)

:grouphug::tink: :grouphug: pixiedust:

10-04-2007, 02:45 PM
tough choices Michelle, just try and think whats going to be best for your kids, if you need to quit, you'll be doing it for them, thats not something to make you feel you're letting other people down, thats a decision for you, bruce and your kids.

10-04-2007, 03:52 PM
Michelle you need to do what's right for you, the fact that people don't want you to leave is a compliment and that you must be doing your job well.

Sending you lots of :hug: whilst you make this choice and I'm sure once it's made you'll feel a huge weight lifted :goodvibes

florida sun
10-04-2007, 04:46 PM
Cant offer any more advice than has already been offered,:goodvibes but do want to send you some pixie dust:wizard: :wizard: :wizard: :wizard:

10-05-2007, 01:43 AM

What do YOU really want to do. You have to do what you want and no one else.

Good luck in your decision. By the time you go on holiday one way or the other you would have decided and you can go away and have the best time ever.


10-05-2007, 01:51 AM
:hug: :hug: I agree that you should do what is best for you and your family, good luck :hug:

10-05-2007, 06:32 PM
Thanks for all of your advice and kind words.

I have handed my notice in. My Ward Manager didnt say much, because she had a doctors appt. I imagine on Monday I will be pulled into the office.

My dh and I chatted last night and agreed that it made more sense for me to work on flexi bank until September and start my training then.

That way I will be there for the children. Today I also asked Casey's school for some volunteer work to see if teaching is me. I love working with children, but could not nurse sick children it would break my heart. I love sitting with Casey and going through her home work. I want to see if its just because its Casey or whether there is something within. Only time will tell. All the time my boys are young there is no need to make decisions yet.

Thanks again for your advice. :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug:

10-06-2007, 02:51 AM
Well done Michelle :thumbsup2

Your plan sounds excellent :flower3:

10-06-2007, 04:11 AM
well done,:)

Your plan sounds good to start with however I would suggest eventually you need to go to other schools before you apply for any teacher training as at your DD school your a parent and this is going to have an affect on your relationship with the school, plus the more experience the better:thumbsup2

10-06-2007, 05:26 AM
You sound happier now you have made a decision.

so pleased for you.


10-06-2007, 10:13 AM
Well done Michelle it sounds like the right decision :hug:

10-06-2007, 10:31 AM
Sorry I haven't got anything helpful to add, just wanted to send you a :grouphug: and some :wizard:

10-06-2007, 10:36 AM
:grouphug: Glad you are forming a plan that will make you feel happier :grouphug:

10-07-2007, 06:24 AM
I am so glad that you were able to make your decision.