How old should children be to be left alone?

[Mississippian]

First of all, I've found that this type of question can cause a flame war. Please respect other posters if you have something to say.

I remember as a child I was allowed to walk up town on my own at age 7, and it was a young 7. I'm fairly certain I was left at home by myself at this age for short periods. This wasn't because my parents were bad parents. It was the societal norm. In fact, public school buses at that time were not allowed to transport any child who lived within one mile of the school, regardless of grade. A first-grader was presumed able to walk to school on his or her own. Children were just assumed to be able to do things on their own without hovering parents.

One of the reasons I remember my exact age is that my mother usually took me to school and picked me up, but one day she told me that I would have to walk home from school. I was just a few months past my seventh birthday. I remember wailing that I was scared to walk home, that I just couldn't, and her explaining that it was only three blocks further than the town square where I walked every Saturday.

I'm not sure times have change as much as people think they have. But news coverage certainly has, and we are certainly a more protective society.

So my question is, how old do you think a child or two children of like age should be before they are left alone in a room at a DVC resort while their parents are elsewhere at the same resort?

How old do you think a child or two children of like age should be before they are left alone in a room at a DVC resort while their parents are elsewhere at WDW?

We are assuming obedient children with a cell phone who presumably will stay in the room if instructed to do so, and not roam the resort. Also, DVC is specified because there is less coming and going in the hallways of DVC resorts than the hotel resorts.

Just curious about your views. I'm sure they are varied.

[disney-super-mom]

That's a very tough question and one which obviously is going to have a huge variance in answers.

The Florida Red Cross offers babysitting and childcare classes for kids 11-15, so I guess if the Red Cross thinks 11 years of age is old enough to babysit, then that might be a good age to possibly consider leaving unsupervised for a short period, maybe a couple of hours, depending on the maturity level and trustworthiness.

I'm a bit more overprotective myself though, and with my own kids, would wait until they're 13 or 14 before leaving them unsupervised while on vacation for a couple of hours.

I still remember being a kid.....and all the stupid things we did when left unsupervised, so I know how even 'good kids' (like myself) can get into mischief. Ah.....good times.....good times!:rolleyes:

[epicureangirl]

I have a 2 and a 10 year old, and will wait until my eldest is 12 before leaving her in charge. Basically, whatever the legal age in your area is for a child to babysit... that's what I'd go by, but only if you consider them responsible. I am at a resort right now (kids asleep) and am very tempted to slip out for a swim, but it only takes a minute for something to go wrong and then I would NEVER forgive myself. So, in my opinion, even if you are in the same resort, if something were to go really wrong you would probably not be available to help them as quickly as you would need to. Think of the confusion that might happen even if someone pulled the fire alarm... how do you think they would handle it and where would they be?

I think it's easy to be relaxed, especially on vacation, but if I want a few hours out, I'd rather leave a babysitting service in charge (pay the money) and feel really relaxed. I consider myself a pretty easy-going parent, but I sure have seen my 10 year old use some very poor judgement, and she is a really good kid.

[BroganMc]

Call me paranoid but I'm not comfortable leaving pre-teens alone (under 12s), more so if they are in charge of younger children. There are just too many predators out in the world waiting for a kid alone. And children, despite many warnings to the contrary, are very trusting.

By 13 I'd start re-evaluating based on the child's maturity and what sort of responsibility they are given. It's very different leaving an older sibling in charge at home and putting them in charge in a strange location.

I myself was left alone at home for a few hours in the evenings from the age of 9. It was out of necessity for my mom had to leave for work and my dad (and older teen siblings) weren't home yet. I was absolutely terrified at first and only grudgingly got used to it with time. I wasn't entirely comfortable being on my own until I was 12-13.

[lisareniff]

I was tempted last spring when we were staying at VWL to have my older daugher (Just turned 11) watch my younger one (5) while we went to Artist point. I could have gone either way on that one. She will watch her at home when I have to run errands in our small village or a meeting, but usually not at night or for more then an hour and a half. I would not have left the resort or been more then 5 minutes away. In the end we had too much to do to fit in that quiet dinner for two! It was probably the better choice.

So I think 10-11ish is OK as long as the child is comfortable (as well as you) along with having a cell phone and being within the resort. I'm not sure of the next question, what age to allow them to be alone while in other parts of WDW. It can take a long time to get from one place to another in WDW. Eating in Epcot while staying at BCV is one thing but eating at Jiko while staying at VWL is another. Since I don't have children of that age yet I'll have to pass on answering that question. It will be a while for our comfort level. Maybe 15?

[jimmytammy]

If there are 2 kids, then around 13-14 IMO. Our DD is very responsible at 14 but DS is very inquisitive at 13. We had a situation just the other day that warranted him not to be left alone til he gains more trust.

The last 2 trips to WDW, we have let the kids stay by themselves in the room for a couple hrs. DD has a cell so she can call or vice versa to keep in touch, so that helps.

I am like you in that I would be home at a young age by myself for a couple hrs. but not everyday.

[WendyinNC]

My daughter is 11 and completed the red cross babysitting course. She has been a girl scout for 6 years. I will now leave her with my DD9 and DS7 for short periods of time, but not if she is asleep. Although she helps out a lot with DS20 months, I will not leave her to watch him unless he is asleep since he gets into everything.

[Mississippian]

So I think 10-11ish is OK as long as the child is comfortable (as well as you) along with having a cell phone and being within the resort. I'm not sure of the next question, what age to allow them to be alone while in other parts of WDW. It can take a long time to get from one place to another in WDW. Eating in Epcot while staying at BCV is one thing but eating at Jiko while staying at VWL is another. Since I don't have children of that age yet I'll have to pass on answering that question. It will be a while for our comfort level. Maybe 15?

My guess is that a lot of people would say 15 on this. This is an age where I had a driver's license, car and could pretty much go wherever I pleased, although I think I had to be 15-and-a-half before I could drive into Memphis.

My children are soon-to-be 9 and 8 and I've only left them alone to dash down to the sundry shop to get a newspaper in the morning. But it does seem at some point soon we ought to be able to go downstairs for dinner while they watch TV upstairs.

They tend to be obedient children, and it makes a big difference, because I don't really worry about them getting into trouble. But my guess it is that it will be another year before we can do without a baby sitter.

[goofy4tink]

It's funny but we had an 11 y/o babysit for my dd when she was about 4...figured the young lady was plenty old enough. But, when my dd got to be 11, there was no way she was old enough to babysit!
When another mom and I took our two dd's to WDW to celebrate their 13th birthdays last Oct, the girls were allowed to go off on their own. My dd is very familiar with the parks so I had no problem with that at all. One night, as we returned from DTD, we got off the bus at BC, and then walked over to Epcot for FandW...but the girls wanted to work on homework, so they headed over to BW to the villa. The other mother was a bit nervous about letting them go back to the room alone and then be there by themselves. We were in contact with the girls via our cell phones. They were just fine...in fact they had a grand time by themselves. I would think it would depend on the child's maturity level as well as the parental comfort level.

[lisareniff]

My children are soon-to-be 9 and 8 and I've only left them alone to dash down to the sundry shop to get a newspaper in the morning. But it does seem at some point soon we ought to be able to go downstairs for dinner while they watch TV upstairs.

They tend to be obedient children, and it makes a big difference, because I don't really worry about them getting into trouble. But my guess it is that it will be another year before we can do without a baby sitter.

I think if you start leaving them home for the same period of time and they do fine, then at that age and with the modern technology of cel phones, leaving them in the villa and staying in the same resort should be just fine. One part is the general safety of the children. The other is how well they do together. The babysitter I use (really only 2-3 times a year!) for longer times and nights is 15 but she can not watch her sister (10) because they do not get along when left alone.

[tomandrobin]

Here you can legally leave a child home is 8 years old. They can babysit at age 12. That being said, I have no problem with our 14 and 16 year old babysitting other kids. I have no problem leaving one of them home for a few hours at a time. But there is no way I can leave both of them home together for an extended period of time. Everytime we have in the past, trouble always seems to "happen".

[MJS]

21 + ;)

[salmoneous]

You can't put an age on such a questio. There are 8-year-olds who would be fine, and 15-year-olds who wouldn't. It depends upon the kid.

I would say that if (1) the child is an experienced traveler and is familiar with hotel/DVC rooms and (2) you would leave them alone in their home, then it's OK to leave them alone at DVC.

[crisi]

You can't put an age on such a questio. There are 8-year-olds who would be fine, and 15-year-olds who wouldn't. It depends upon the kid.

I would say that if (1) the child is an experienced traveler and is familiar with hotel/DVC rooms and (2) you would leave them alone in their home, then it's OK to leave them alone at DVC.

Yep, and when you are adding children, then you add the variable of the dynamics between the kids.

My daughter is eight, my son is nine, and we will leave them alone for short periods - like running up to school for parent night. They are pretty responsible kids who generally follow rules - and TV and a snack keeps them out of trouble for an hour.

I don't think I'd leave them alone at DVC yet - they know "house rules" but still sometimes get weird ideas in their head about rules being different in different places (which, honestly, they are - they get more snacks and treats on vacation) and I'm not sure it wouldn't occur to them that wandering out on the balcony and standing on the chair to see better was a bad idea.

[sixcats]

When our son was 14 we felt comfortable leaving him with his sisters, then 10 and 6 while we had a glass of wine or shopped in the same resort. They were 16, 11 and 8 when we actually left the resort for Pleasure Island early one evening.

Within the hour the youngest got sick with a stomach bug and we were headed back. They really proved that they were responsible. By the time we got there she was showered, in clean clothes and they had cleaned up the considerable mess.

My daughter is a mature 12, I would feel comfortable leaving her at a resort while I went to the ice machine or giftshop as long as we both had cell phones.

They actually look forward to a few hours with a room service dinner and a DVD alone each trip while we have dinner nearby.

[burrow4]

We started leaving our son in the room with pizza and the tv when he was 14 years old. We would go to one of the signature restaurants and enjoy a long dinner; something he had no interest in doing. We had cell phones on and he knew not to let anyone in the room; including housekeeping. He's a pretty mature kid and we could have probably started this when he was 12, but I'm a little overprotective.

[mello]

We've been thinking about that as well. We tend toward the protective side with our teen and tween (dh works in law enforcement and tends toward a pessimistic view on these things - he would say that society most definitely continues to change for the worse in terms of types of crimes, number of crimes, and people's attitude toward laws and law enforcement). Anywhoo, we're thinking of an adults only evening at PI on our next trip, and we're thinking the older two (11 and 14) will be just fine in the villa watching movies and eating pizza. We feel they can be trusted not to go out or open the door to anyone. We're debating whether or not to leave our younger dd with them. They deal well with her at home for an evening, but preschoolers can be unpredictable, and even though it's "home away from home", it isn't really home, so we're thinking the best thing would be to put her in one of the kids' clubs while the older two are on their own. We also plan on letting the older two go off on their own some while at the parks (with us in the same park and everyone in posession of cell phones).

Should add that it really does depend upon the maturity of the kids. In our case, 11yo ds is actually the more responsible, level-headed and forward-thinking of the two, but 14yo ds has physical size, experience and knowledge (years of boy scouts) that the younger one doesn't, so we feel it's a good combination.

[springandmac]

When we were at OKW we let DD13 and her Best Friend (also 13) go to the pool and Hank's by themselves. (We were at the resort too). DD is normally so responsible and mature but we did have two minor incidents.

The first incident DD called me from her cell phone, sobbing. Talk about heart failure, she then made me promise I wouldn't get mad. I agreed not to just so she'd get on with the story, then she broke the news that they accidentally got on the wrong bus and ended up at Animal Kingdom, which turned out to be much better than the 1000 different scenarios that my mind was racing through while I listened to her cry. The second incident was they told us they were going to Hank's and when my husband went up there to check on his son (a 12 year old who will probably never be left alone....way too imature) they weren't there. DH heads back to the room and crosses pathes with me on my way to HH, he asked if the kids were at the room I told him no, his son came in and put his swim trunks on but I thought that he and DH were going swimming. So we went over to the quiet pool and there they were. After giving them the what-for we didn't have anymore problems with them.

She told me the other day that her favorite part of our vacation was being allowed to go to the pool, HH and Hank's without parental supervision. ;)

[paulh]

in the uk its againt the law to leave a child home alone under the age of 14.You might have read a lot of reports about the Maccans who left there 3 children alone in portugal while they went for a meal.One went missing,what happend is subject to congeture,but a lot of people think they should at least be prosicuted for leving them unatended
Paulh

[lovinthemouse]

I think it comes down to maturity level. Some kids are very responsible at 10 and 11 and some not until they are older. Each kid has to be judged individually. I don't think you can lump them all together and come up with a pat answer.

[DisneyBride'03]

Back in 1980, I had my Own room at the Poly...Lagoon view...just so I can babysit my little cousin when my aunt and uncle went out in the evenings..dinner..luau...I was 13...
What were they thinking??!! lol..They started this whole Disney thing...
I think kids mature differently...some are more responsible than others...you know your kids best!!

[Sammie]

I think it comes down to maturity level. Some kids are very responsible at 10 and 11 and some not until they are older. Each kid has to be judged individually. I don't think you can lump them all together and come up with a pat answer.

Definitely, I would think a parent would be the best judge of thier own child.

Also are their legal considerations, that if something happens would the parent be charged with neglect for a leaving a child alone. :confused3

Would they know what to do in an emergency such a fire?
Would they know not to allow anyone in the room while alone including Disney employees.
Would they know for no reason except fire would they leave the room?
Are they used to be lefting alone at home, if not then never would I have them take the first trial run on vacation in a strange place.
Do you have cell phone contact, and will it work?
If there are siblings do they get alone well when left alone?

As my Dad used to say your old enough to be left alone until something happens then you are way too young.

Considering Disney won't rent a room to anyone under 18, I truly don't know about anyone younger.

[ChelleinNC]

We have learned that our 2 kids do better together when we aren't with them. They are a team when left alone, but tend to bicker when a parent is around for attention.
We left them alone at the resort for the 1st time last year. They had been staying home alone (together) for about 8 months prior. DD was almost 13, had been babysitting since she was 10. DS was 9 1/2. Rules were spelled out ahead of time, no leaving the resort and they must stay together at all times. We had an early tee time, they slept the first couple of hours we were gone. The rule was they were to call when they woke up, and they did. They grabbed breakfast, bought a small bucket (we were at BC) and then spent time building sandcastles together (I swear there is no way they would have done that together if we had been around!) and called to ask if they could go to the arcade and use some of the money leftover from breakfast. They had a blast that day. Did it again twice this summer (once while we were in signing the papers on our dvc purchase & once to play golf) and they thoroughly enjoyed exploring SSR on their own.
Now one night DD wasn't feeling well when we were at the Studios and wanted to go back to SSR by herself and we wouldn't let her. We weren't comfortable with that, however if we had been staying at BCV or BWV we wouldn't have minded her getting on the boat to go back. It was the bus issue that worried us.
I know kids that couldn't or wouldn't want to be left alone at 14 years old. My kids are very independent and responsible. In the end, I think it really comes down to the children involved and each parent knows their child best.

[Sammie]

We have learned that our 2 kids do better together when we aren't with them. They are a team when left alone, but tend to bicker when a parent is around for attention.
We left them alone at the resort for the 1st time last year. They had been staying home alone (together) for about 8 months prior. DD was almost 13, had been babysitting since she was 10. DS was 9 1/2. Rules were spelled out ahead of time, no leaving the resort and they must stay together at all times. We had an early tee time, they slept the first couple of hours we were gone. The rule was they were to call when they woke up, and they did. They grabbed breakfast, bought a small bucket (we were at BC) and then spent time building sandcastles together (I swear there is no way they would have done that together if we had been around!) and called to ask if they could go to the arcade and use some of the money leftover from breakfast. They had a blast that day. Did it again twice this summer (once while we were in signing the papers on our dvc purchase & once to play golf) and they thoroughly enjoyed exploring SSR on their own.
Now one night DD wasn't feeling well when we were at the Studios and wanted to go back to SSR by herself and we wouldn't let her. We weren't comfortable with that, however if we had been staying at BCV or BWV we wouldn't have minded her getting on the boat to go back. It was the bus issue that worried us.
I know kids that couldn't or wouldn't want to be left alone at 14 years old. My kids are very independent and responsible. In the end, I think it really comes down to the children involved and each parent knows their child best.

Obviously your kids are very mature, do they go out on outings alone at home like this?

We weren't comfortable with that, however if we had been staying at BCV or BWV we wouldn't have minded her getting on the boat to go back. It was the bus issue that worried

Why would the boat be safer, she would still be alone and walking back to the room alone?

[UConnJack]

Definitely a parental judgment call. For most kids I think 13 is definitely old enough (although some still aren't). Below that age, it really depends on how mature and responsible the child is, whether he or she is alone or with or responsible for a sibling, the child's own comfort level with the situation, and of course the parent's comfort level.

My 5 yd old DD is so responsible now that I am sometimes tempted to leave her at home to run to the corner store. Don't worry, I don't, but I am comfortable leaving her in the house alone while I am outside mowing the lawn. If she continues to mature like this, I can see being comfortable leaving her home alone for short periods when she is 9-11 years old. Alone in a hotel or DVC room, I probably wouldn't feel comfortable until 11 yrs old at least, but we'll see.

Of course, being overprotective can be detrimental to a kid's development of independence, so I am going to try to give her opportunities to be left alone as she grows up. Kids need to learn how and be comfortable with being on their own.

[ChelleinNC]

Obviously your kids are very mature, do they go out on outings alone at home like this?

At home they'll go around the neighborhood (decent size neighborhood) together or alone. There are still rules about checking in and letting us know where they are. DD is almost 14 now, has a cell phone and gets to go farther away/longer than her brother. She's allowed to go to the middle school football games as long as she's with a friend, has her phone charged... DS would like a cell phone, but at 10 1/2, I've told him that he's not gonna be far enough away from an adult (or his sister) to need one yet. It'll happen soon enough, he's only a year away from middle school.

DD has always been mature and independent, she was the one that told us we didn't need to walk her into preschool on the first day, and first sleep away camp at age 6 1/2 told us "you can leave now" as soon as she was checked in. DS is just a good kid. He's always been one to follow rules, and gets upset when others don't. They really do work good as a team when left together, of course as I said before if we're around they will definitely bicker and fight like brother & sister.

As far as why we felt better about the boat, it's because it's closer to the gate & rooms than the bus lots, can't get on the wrong boat, and we've stayed at BC so many times that we know she wouldn't get lost. This was our 1st stay at SSR, it was night time and you have to walk across the parking lots from the bus stop to the buildings.

[Mississippian]

in the uk its againt the law to leave a child home alone under the age of 14.You might have read a lot of reports about the Maccans who left there 3 children alone in portugal while they went for a meal.One went missing,what happend is subject to congeture,but a lot of people think they should at least be prosicuted for leving them unatended
Paulh

My understanding is that in some rural areas of the UK the age to drink in a pub is 16. Certainly that was the case when my wife went to a rural boarding school about 15 years ago. So the children go from not able to stay home alone to able to drink in a pub in two years. Fancy that!

[TinkGirl]

We started letting the kids stay in the room while my husband and I ran last summer when they were 9, 11, and 13. Granted, we were never gone more than an hour. This past trip my son (14) opted to stay in the room for some snacks and alone time when we were elsewhere on the resort. We still pick and choose our times--our biggest issue is FIGHTING! My daughter (youngest with two old brothers) can be a she-devil.:sad2:

[squirrlygirl]

When my brother was 11, he set our house on fire. When my uncles were 9&10, they set their house on fire. While it might be genetic;) it still gives me pause. My kid's sitter (14, red-cross certified) left my kids alone to go to the neighbor's house (out of ear-shot, we're a country sub). She figured my son was old enough to watch the younger ones (If that's the case, why did I hire her?) The nursery worker at our church "forgot" and left my 3-yr. old alone in the nursery (she was 17). Point being that kids do stupid things because they don't think of the consequences.

I don't think there's any need to push the envelope on how young you start giving your children that kind of independence. My oldest gets more freedom as he earns it, and so far we've taken steps backwards twice. He's 11 1/2. I don't care if he's 14 before he's allowed to leave the sub; he has to be ready. I would never give him freedom he's not ready for just to make my life a little easier. And if I'm not sure if he's ready, I wouldn't be giving a trial run at a resort.

But that's my kids and my experiences.

[wilma-bride]

in the uk its againt the law to leave a child home alone under the age of 14.You might have read a lot of reports about the Maccans who left there 3 children alone in portugal while they went for a meal.One went missing,what happend is subject to congeture,but a lot of people think they should at least be prosicuted for leving them unatended
Paulh

I'm afraid you're wrong about UK law Paul (see below)

What does the law say?

English law does not specify an age when a child can be left unsupervised. However, parents may be prosecuted for neglect if they leave a child alone “in a manner which is likely to cause unnecessary suffering or injury to health” (Children and Young Persons Act, 1933).

The National Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Children (NSPCC) advises that no child should be left alone under the age of twelve, or overnight under the age of sixteen. Even a short stretch without a parent or another adult around can be distressing and lonely for a young child. Most eight to thirteen year olds, even if they feel happy about being left, may not be ready to cope in an emergency.

As for the McCanns, it's a completely different scenario - their kids were only tiny (all toddlers) and should never have been left alone. I believe what people are talking about here are teenagers.

My understanding is that in some rural areas of the UK the age to drink in a pub is 16. Certainly that was the case when my wife went to a rural boarding school about 15 years ago. So the children go from not able to stay home alone to able to drink in a pub in two years. Fancy that!

The legal age for drinking alcohol here in the UK is 18 - there are no exceptions to this, although I do know that some publicans years ago were perhaps not as strict about the law as others but not so much now.

Personally, last year we left our two DDs (12 and 13 at the time) in the hotel room (not at WDW) while we went to dinner. They were left with specific instructions not to leave the hotel, although they were allowed to go down to the lobby to get something to eat. They were both in bed when we got back, having pigged out on junk food all night :rotfl: We also allowed them to go to the pool by themselves one morning while we went shopping - again, they were told to be either at the pool or in the room but nowhere else.

At home, they occasionally look after their younger brother (he is nearly 5) but only when he is in bed and asleep and never for more than a couple of hours. They are pretty trustworthy and I am confident that they would know how to cope in most, if not all, emergency situations but I would definitely not feel happy about them staying on their own overnight or anything like that. I'm not even sure if I would let them go off to the parks on their own yet (although they are asking if they might be allowed to do that when we are at WDW in April).

[Mississippian]

The legal age for drinking alcohol here in the UK is 18 - there are no exceptions to this, although I do know that some publicans years ago were perhaps not as strict about the law as others but not so much now.
My wife attended Atlantic College in Wales, which was a sixth-form school serving kids from all over the place. It may have been just the on-campus pub that was allowed to serve 16-year-olds on the grounds that "there was nothing else to do", but they did have a legel exception to the law. I'm not sure what the rules were in the nearby village of Glamorgan. It may well have been 18.

Most of the European students were 16 and 17. The Americans were a year older because our educational system is so sorry and thus our students tend to be way behind the Europeans (of course, European colleges are pretty lousy compared to American ones, so I guess we catch up).

This was in the mid 1990s. Not sure what the rules are now.

[Sammie]

At home they'll go around the neighborhood (decent size neighborhood) together or alone. There are still rules about checking in and letting us know where they are. DD is almost 14 now, has a cell phone and gets to go farther away/longer than her brother. She's allowed to go to the middle school football games as long as she's with a friend, has her phone charged... DS would like a cell phone, but at 10 1/2, I've told him that he's not gonna be far enough away from an adult (or his sister) to need one yet. It'll happen soon enough, he's only a year away from middle school.

DD has always been mature and independent, she was the one that told us we didn't need to walk her into preschool on the first day, and first sleep away camp at age 6 1/2 told us "you can leave now" as soon as she was checked in. DS is just a good kid. He's always been one to follow rules, and gets upset when others don't. They really do work good as a team when left together, of course as I said before if we're around they will definitely bicker and fight like brother & sister.

As far as why we felt better about the boat, it's because it's closer to the gate & rooms than the bus lots, can't get on the wrong boat, and we've stayed at BC so many times that we know she wouldn't get lost. This was our 1st stay at SSR, it was night time and you have to walk across the parking lots from the bus stop to the buildings.

Your children sound very responsible, and I don't think you have any reason not to find them trustworthy to do as you have asked. But are you not concerned about the people they may encounter while alone?

In your area they are around people they know at Disney, too many strangers for my comfort.

[DiznEeyore]

When we were at the Poly this past May, we left ds (14) in the room for a couple of hours while we did laundry (he'd sprained his ankle and just hung out in bed w/his ankle on ice). We had two-way radios to keep in touch.

We also left him asleep in the room while we took the monorail to the GF to do our Photopass CD. He knew we were leaving, and again, we had the two-ways. We were gone a little over 90 minutes.

No problems either time. :)

Next time we'll all have cell phones -- I think I prefer those to two-ways.

[gracelrm]

Our DD 14 has been fine to stay by herself for about 3 years for short amounts of time. Our DS11 might stay on his own for 30 minutes or so (while I run to the store or something) but he usually calls and asks how much longer until I get home. He's a little freaked out by being alone. Our three kids don't really do well together with DD14 in charge, but we have left them for very short amounts of time with very specific directions and rules while at WDW. They are usually exhausted from a day in the park or swimming and are happy to lay on the bed to watch some TV. It works for us, but only under certain circumstances. Sometimes we notice that one DS is in a foul mood - so we never leave them together if he's having a "bad" day. I think you have to make your decision based upon your own children AND how things are going for that particular day.

[buzz5985]

When my DS turned 10 - I started little training sessions with him. I started with 10 minute trips to get milk. Then 20 minute trips, etc. He is now close to 11 and I will comfortably leave him at home for 60 minutes. If he was in Disney - I would not have this same level of comfort.

I don't think there are predetors roaming the halls of Disney waiting for an unsuspecting child to open the door. I just think he would get too lonely. At home he has his XBox - which he can use without counting towards his weekly limit - if I'm not home. I know that's cheesy. But it works.

Janis

[eliza61]

This post is so ironic. I finally felt safe to leave my sons at home by themselves for a little while when they hit ~13 yrs. Now that they are older teenage boys with hormones raging and girlfriends that look like mini-beyonce's I don't want to leave them home alone anymore! :scared:

[Sammie]

The only thing that bothers me on threads likes these that sometimes I get the impression that some feel Disney is safer than other places such as major cities. This is a very wrong impression.

At any given day there are over 100,000 people on the Disney property and that does not include the parks. Everyone needs to remember that not everyone there is a good, kind person just because it is Disney.

Crime happens every day at Disney things are stolen from guests, drug deals are made, people get into domestic problems and have fights, guns are siezed, Disney just does a very good job of not revealing that.

And yes pediophiles have been arrested at Disney and some of these crimes are committed by Disney employees. My nieces who were 15 and where with a group of 6 which included older boys, were propositioned by a Disney CM in the MK. I can only imagine what might have happend if this person had approached a younger female. Yes they reported it immediately and yes he was fired. :sad2:

This is not to say that they don't do a good job with security because they do, but it is not the safe haven some think it to be.

[crisi]

The only thing that bothers me on threads likes these that sometimes I get the impression that some feel Disney is safer than other places such as major cities. This is a very wrong impression.

At any given day there are over 100,000 people on the Disney property and that does not include the parks. Everyone needs to remember that not everyone there is a good, kind person just because it is Disney.

Crime happens every day at Disney things are stolen from guests, drug deals are made, people get into domestic problems and have fights, guns are siezed, Disney just does a very good job of not revealing that.

And yes pediophiles have been arrested at Disney and some of these crimes are committed by Disney employees. My nieces who were 15 and where with a group of 6 which included older boys, were propositioned by a Disney CM in the MK. I can only imagine what might have happend if this person had approached a younger female. Yes they reported it immediately and yes he was fired. :sad2:

This is not to say that they don't do a good job with security because they do, but it is not the safe haven some think it to be.

But Disney is also VERY populated...there is almost no where you can be alone out in public. If your kids know not to talk to strangers (even CMs if they are asking them to "come with them") and know how to yell "NO, STOP, HELP" and know that if they are approached they should walk into the nearest store (not like there aren't a zillion of them) and immediately report it - there isn't a lot of danger. It really comes down to "do you trust your kids or not." If you don't trust your kids to not talk to strangers, to blindly go off with someone, or to not yell if they are touched, they shouldn't be alone at WDW. If your kids have basic safety skills - which presumably, they need to learn at sometime so they don't turn 18 and wander off to be sexually assaulted by the first person who asks them to step into an empty room - they are as safe at Disney as anywhere.

That said, I also would be more comfortable letting kids go back at night to the BW or BC rather than SSR - due to the populated area issue.

The impression I'm left with of the "other side" is that people shelter their kids so much that they don't bother to teach them to be streetwise. Streetwise is an important life skill.

[Sammie]

But Disney is also VERY populated...there is almost no where you can be alone out in public. If your kids know not to talk to strangers (even CMs if they are asking them to "come with them") and know how to yell "NO, STOP, HELP" and know that if they are approached they should walk into the nearest store (not like there aren't a zillion of them) and immediately report it - there isn't a lot of danger. It really comes down to "do you trust your kids or not." If you don't trust your kids to not talk to strangers, to blindly go off with someone, or to not yell if they are touched, they shouldn't be alone at WDW. If your kids have basic safety skills - which presumably, they need to learn at sometime so they don't turn 18 and wander off to be sexually assaulted by the first person who asks them to step into an empty room - they are as safe at Disney as anywhere.

That said, I also would be more comfortable letting kids go back at night to the BW or BC rather than SSR - due to the populated area issue.

The impression I'm left with of the "other side" is that people shelter their kids so much that they don't bother to teach them to be streetwise. Streetwise is an important life skill.

I totally agree. I have friends however that would never let their child have this much freedom anywhere except Disney. They are not streetwise at home, according to thier parents due to too much crime. However for some reason they think that at Disney crime does not exist. They are very naive.

[crisi]

Those folks are naive. Disney is a pretty safe neighborhood, but even in pretty safe neighborhoods kids need to be taught not to talk to strangers, not to hang out with the bad kids, and to walk away if anything makes you uncomfortable. I'd let me kids be alone at Disney long before I'd let them be alone in a lot of other places, but that just means that other places are "less safe."

(There is no way my underage kids are going to DTD solo until their late teens - and then ONLY in the afternoon - nightime at Pleasure Island is a grown up event. Letting my young teens spend a few hours at Epcot or MK alone, that I'll do - or I hope to, they are responsible enough now to let me think they'll be ready for it - but that could change).

[edk35]

In the state of MD you can be a latch key kid at age 8. You can't babysit until you are 13 even for your siblings. My middle son was in 6th grade before I let him come home by himself from school. I woudn't personally feel comfortable leaving young kids at a resort but if there was an older siblling like 15 or older I might. My dd is almost 17 and we still all go everywhere together at WDW. I mean sure they will go off and ride something or my almost 14 year old will but I will not let my 8 year do that without one of them.

[OlderMan]

I joke with my DD's (9 & 10) that there are things that they can't do until they're 40....:rotfl2:

That said, they are mature for their ages and I don't mind leaving them alone for an hour or so. (They actually seem to be better with each other when neither DW nor I are around!)

When we're at OKW, if DW and I want to go out in the evening--usually just to The Gurgling Suitcase--I have no problem leaving them alone in our suite. The usually watch a DVD or Disney Channel on TV.

They know not to let ANYONE in and we always leave a cell phone with them should they need to get in touch with us.

To date, no problems......

[pcparamedics01]

I believe it always depend on the maturity of the child. He/she has to prove she is responsible to stay alone. I am thinking 14.

[deej696]

I also think it depends on the kids involved. My parents must have thought I was pretty responsible because my brother and I were allowed to go to the parks by ourselves when I was 12 and he was 8. Granted, we had grown up at Disney and knew it better than our own hometown, as my dad played in the pro-am at the Walt Disney Golf Classic every year. But looking back, I am kinda amazed that at 12 and 8 we navigated the monorail, and spent the day hopping between parks. Not so sure my kids will be doing the same at that age...

[LadyTrampScamp&Angel]

My kids are 7 and 11. Although they are good kids and manage to follow the rules most of the time I still would not feel comfortable leaving them alone. They still make errors in judgement at times that give me pause, I don't think either is mature enough to be left alone at home much less WDW. Maybe around 12-14 at home, I don't think I'd do it at 12, even 13 when away from home, probably wait till more like 14-15. If nothing went wrong they'd probably be fine but I worry about if something unusual did happen.

Hotels cause me concern because kids just walking alone in hallways could easily be pulled into a room without anyone else noticing. I know I'm protective :confused3 but right now it just doesn't feel right.

I was a latchkey kid and was left alone at home with my younger siblings when I was 10, they would have been 7 and 5. While we survived I managed to destroy a few things, get in a bit at trouble at times. Don't think I want to go there with my own kids.

[paulh]

As for the McCanns, it's a completely different scenario - their kids were only tiny (all toddlers) and should never have been left alone. I believe what people are talking about here are teenagers.



The legal age for drinking alcohol here in the UK is 18 - there are no exceptions to this, although I do know that some publicans years ago were perhaps not as strict about the law as others but not so much now.

.

.
As for the Macanns i dident what to go into the simatics of the case as its a hotley discused topic in uk.
As OP wanted to know what age to leave alone some people might think its ok to leave todders alone like the macanns did

As for the legal age for alcohol right for beer and sprits but for Cider age is 16
Will check with MIL(used to be a publican)
Paulh
ETA
In bars and off-licensed premises the MDA and MPA are 18. The MPA for
beer and cider is 16 when purchased for consumption with meals
(except when in a bar). Children over five may consume alcoholic
beverages at home with their parent's consent.

[veenstra56]

It certainly depends on how mature and responsible the kids are.

My girls are 13 and 9, and at this point I honestly would feel more guilty than nervous about leaving them alone while we went to dinner (although it would make me nervous,too). When we take the kids to WDW we do everything together, and when my wife and I want to be alone, we take a seperate trip just for that.

It's a difficult topic because there are so many variables. In the end it really depends on the situation.

[tubtruck]

Its no way near as strict in the UK for purchasing alcohol as in florida. I was asked for ID last year in Forida and I am 32, I found this quite amusing. I have never ever been asked for ID in the UK since I was 18 and I regularily used to purchase alcohol in pubs and bars when I was younger without any problems, even these days kids especially girls often go out to the pub and have no problem getting served at only 15,16 or 17 years old. There used to be shop near my home that happily served anyone, I remeber my friends 10 year old brother managing to buy beer from there. Plenty of school kids smoke over here as well, noticably more than in the US and until october this year it is perfectly legal for anyone over 16 years of age to buy and smoke them. I wonder how many of US parents would be happy with your 16 year olds smoking?

[DVCJones]

I remember my parents leaving us alone at night while they went out to eat or something. We were young too. There were four of us and we ranged in age to 5-12. We were very low key children and everything went well. We had great neighbors who we knew we could go to in an emergency. Also my grandmother and uncle lived down the street too.

It also wouldn't be uncommon of my parent to go on vacation for a week and leave my 17yo brother in charge.:scared1: Again, my neighbor and my grandmother were informed and checked in on us. When I think back on this, I think this is CRAZY!!!! The weird thing is, we were always behaved, went to school, did homework, ate dinner and went to bed. We didn't fight and never told anyone we were alone. We were very responsible "kids". Thats not to say accidents couldn't have happened. If they did, I wonder what we would have done.

As a parent of two, I think my parents were nuts to do all of the above:rotfl2:

At this rate I don't think I will be leaving my children alone for many many years. I am a known worry wort.

[Sammie]

Hotels cause me concern because kids just walking alone in hallways could easily be pulled into a room without anyone else noticing. I know I'm protective but right now it just doesn't feel right

Your concern is justified. Most of the crime at Disney occurs at the resorts. Definitely the drug deals are mostly confined to rooms at resorts.

[twotoohappy]

I read somewhere that the legal age in Florida is 12years.

My opinion, if you're in the same building/resort and within a 3 min.
run to the room, child is use to being alone, has cel phone, etc. AND if the child is mature, then you could go a little younger.

When in doubt, go with the childcare centers (up to age 12) or fairy god mothers service would give you peace of mind and have somebody for your child to play with

as far as going to further places on WDW property, geesh, I'd say 18.
but, I'd just take them with me:goodvibes

[Judique]

Here you can legally leave a child home is 8 years old. They can babysit at age 12. That being said, I have no problem with our 14 and 16 year old babysitting other kids. I have no problem leaving one of them home for a few hours at a time. But there is no way I can leave both of them home together for an extended period of time. Everytime we have in the past, trouble always seems to "happen".

Maryland and Illinois are the only two states with actual laws on the books covering this subject. The legal age is 8 to be left alone in Md and age 13 to babysit.

On the other hand, there are many sets of guidelines set up by various child welfare departments in different states which address ages, length of time left alone, conditions, time of day or night and whether the child can contact for help.

In my job I deal with this issue almost on a daily basis. Parents expect amazing levels of supervision from school professionals, but - suddenly - when they are back in mom and dads care - they are to be considered mature enough to be left alone.

For myself and my child - At age 12-13, brief separations inside the parks - go for fastpasses, ride a ride alone, meet up at exit. At resorts, go for food to the Bakery, ESPN, etc. Wait in room while I do short errands - 1 hour or less.
Mostly we stay together - she's now 15 and is very responsible, but has not asked to go to a park alone. I doubt she would want to. Who would buy all those expensive souvies? She'll be driving soon - yiii!

Seems to me it's basically a parental decision in most states until something gets screwed up and you end up being charged with neglect, so use good judgement. More then likely if you have it, so does your child - the apple does not fall far from the tree.

[LadyTrampScamp&Angel]

Your concern is justified. Most of the crime at Disney occurs at the resorts. Definitely the drug deals are mostly confined to rooms at resorts.


Yikes, I hadn't even thought about drug deals. I do think that bad things can happen when a bad person meets up with a good opportunity. I know it's not likely, but still.

This just happened a few days ago to a local 11 year old girl who was home alone, and I thought of this thread. This story is tragic so I'm posting a link instead of the story, so if you don't want to read it, it's not right in front of you.

http://www.wral.com/news/local/story/1847871/

I'm not criticizing those who leave their kids alone, I'm saying this is the kind of thing that worries me - that something not normal might happen.

[loribell]

I have not read this whole thread, and really don't have an opinion on the matter. I did want to post though to let everyone know about an experience we had this summer.

As we were packing up to head home my dh, ds-15 and myself had all taken a load to the car. Not even thinking about it, we left my 8 yo dd in the room. We had all left at different times and she would have been in there alone for just a minute. DH came back around the corner just after I had left the room and there was a male CM with a door key getting ready to open our door.

He told dh that he was with bell services and they had gotten new keys that morning so he was checking random rooms just to be sure they worked. Of course this scared me to death. It was our last load, we got our daughter and headed out and then called the resort to check it out. DH had his name and they immediately called to verify that he was supposed to have been in there. Even they were concerned. The story checked out and everything was fine but the thought of what could have happened in that short amount of time is very frightening.

So just a warning to be careful. If your children are going to be in the room alone, regardless of age let them know to keep the safety latches locked and to never open the door for anyone.

[roadtripper]

At Disney, or in "real life"?

We left our two-weeks-from-13-years-old, Red Cross trained DD at BWV with our DS11 this past August. We brought pizza back to the room, and DH and I went to Flying Fish for a grownup dinner. It was heavenly.

In the interest of full disclosure, High School Musical 2 was on the Disney Channel, and I knew nothing would tear her away from the room.;)
DS has several disabilities, so it is tough for us to even consider going out, but they had a blast without us.

In "real life" we don't get out much...:sad2:

[gopherit]

Color me as one of those who would probably give my kids more "leash" at home than ANYWHERE else (including Disney). At home, I know exactly what's around them, and similarly, they know where/who they can call upon for help. There's nothing to really entice them otherwise - no pool or gameroom calling their name, nothing to "check out... just for a minute!" that they haven't already seen, LOL. As for vacation places, well, frankly, that's the VERY time I'm trying to spend WITH them, so chances are, I would be miffed if they decided they preferred to go their own way or just hang out in the room alone, LOL! :( DH and I figure we have but a short time when these guys actually WANT to hang out with Mom and Dad- why rush past it? We have our senior years to traipse off to Disney "solo" - so for now, it's family time, whether ya like it or not!! That said, I think if my child were not feeling great or wanted to head back to the room to get a jump on the showers or grab a snack or wanted to go check the gift shop or sit at the bus stop ahead of us - I am fine with that so long as they know their way around and have a means to contact us. We often play a game w/ our boys where we let them decide how we get from point "A" to point "B". We watch their decision process and it's interesting to see how well they can navigate with no instruction for us, even in brand-new places. But even somewhere as familiar as WDW, I am WAY more comfy loosening reins at day than night - I don't think I'll be able to do THAT until they are at least 21, LOL! It's too darn hard to locate people amongst all the crowds, and who wants to spend their vacation trying to hunt someone down? The family that plays together, stays together... (and makes it to their ADR's on time! :goodvibes )

We have begun letting our "DSalmost13" and/or DS11 stay at home for short spurts of time (an hour or two at best). During those times, DH or I are never more than a 5 minute drive away, and we know adult neighbors are home. If DH and I want to go out, however, we still get a babysitter, but our babysitters are typically age 15 and up. Our DS12 has begun to balk about this, so we are usually sensitive to that and only plan such nights when he's off on a Scout camping trip or at a friend's for the night. I don't leave my sons in charge of their sister (age 7) because they simply aren't mature enough to realize the magnitude of that job. They do really well taking care of themselves, and I make sure to only leave them on their own when they are in a state best able to handle it, but adding someone else - an unpredictable, even less mature someone else - to their responsibilities would be too much. I guess it's also because I feel they're my kids - not my kids' kids - so it's my job to parent them. If anything happened, I'd have not only my guilt, but the guilt felt by my "kid left in charge" to reckon with. I'm just overprotective and control-freakish that way... :crazy: As I tell my DS11 when he tries to correct his sister or boss his brother - "Hey - that's MY job. If you would like the position of Mom, turn in your application, but I'm warning you - you have to assume the WHOLE job, not just the parts you want. Trust me- the pay isn't so hot and the fun can be grossly overrated at times!" Besides, I always hated it when my older sisters baby-sat me, so maybe that's part of my decision factor, too.

Kids don't always understand how the rules can "change" from kid to kid, either. We let DS12 stay home alone one day for a few hours because he had pink eye. We knew he was too self-conscious to go anywhere - he just wanted to lay on the couch. Very low risk. So DS11 says, "Ok, when do I get to stay home alone?" He looked at it as this HUGE event, a milestone in his life, and began planning all the "grand things" he would do if he were home alone - like, watching endless TV, play gamecube til his thumbs fell off, eating snacks, basically reveling in a house all to himself and without his sister in it, LOL. So along comes the day when he has a sprained ankle, and since the dr. appt is mid-morning, we let him stay home for 2 hours while DH and I go to work. Suddenly, it didn't seem like such a treat to DS, LOL, just more like a relief, like, ok, good, I don't have to climb the stairs at school, I can stay here til Mom comes to get me, give me some Tylenol and a pillow and can I take a nap?

ANYWAY - It's as everyone else before me has said: the decision on when/how long/where to give a child "freedom" depends on each and every child, in his / her own good time, based on the conditions laid before them, as assessed by the parents who raised them. What's right for gophers may well be too strict for some, too lenient for another, and heck, even AMONGST gophers, the rules can change from pup to pup!! :yes:

[KelNottAt]

My kids were 10 and 12 when we left them alone in the hotel room watching movies while we went to a nice "grown up" dinner in the lobby restaurant. It was a HUGE resort (not WDW), with cell phones on us, we were comfortable doing this.

We had given them both the "stanger danger" talk so many times that they could recite in their sleep, practically. The flaw in our plan, however, was forgetting to talk about hotel evacuations. Yup, you guessed it. There was a fire. Not a drill, a real FIRE. It rang on their floor (10th) and adjacent floors, but not in the lobby. Did the kids evac? No. They covered their heads with pillows and cursed the loud alarm. Thank goodness our nieces (a few rooms away) came for them.

Did they try to call us? No. I only found out about the fire when I discovered them returning to the room with security. The whole experience ranks right up there as one of the biggest regrets of my motherhood. :guilty:

In hindsight, we'd do a lot different. Most importantly, not assume "home alone" age and "hotel alone" age are the same thing.

In the state of MD you ...can't babysit until you are 13 even for your siblings.

I didn't know that. I had heard that it was age 11 for watching school-aged sibs. But, that's based on nothing official. I believe you.

[vwlvette]

Just follow this general rule, "leave with as many kids as you arrived with!" just kidding, this year the kids going with us are 9, 10, 12, 14, 72 & 11months!
All are seasoned Disney Vets, well except our little 11 month old princess (there goes the early retirement!) They all have Cell phones, All know Disney World inside and out. We let them go off on their own for short periods of time, as long as there are at least 2 together. We have had no issues at all.
All are boys and for some crazy reason all are very responsible, not really sure how this was accomplished. Although I have to say they all love to hang out as a family (including extended family) and do the parks, DTD and meals together. They are all counting down towards our next trip, in 41 days!

[DisneyBride'03]

Hey, I love how you through in the 72 year old kid!!!

Have a great time!!

[BrentKohl]

Four years old...as long as you eat at a nearby restaurant and check up on the child every 30 minutes or so. Or at least that's how things work if you're in Portugal.

[BroganMc]

Hey, I love how you through in the 72 year old kid!!!

Why not? I take a 75 year old one with me every trip. And trust me, he needs supervision. Lest I catch him doing this...




http://i171.photobucket.com/albums/u311/BroganMc_photos/DisneyMay07/b7bca9a3.jpg

[pouncingpluto]

I took the American Red Cross Babysitting course a few months before my twelfth birthday and immediately began babysitting the 18-month old twins down the street! I had been staying home alone for at least three years before that and truly never did anything more mischevious than looking for Christmas presents or my mom's stash of hidden chocolate. This was about 20 years ago, but how much have kids and the world really changed? I don't have kids myself, so I'm no one to answer.

I do get the point people make, though, about kids varying in terms of responsibility level. And to stereotype, I think girls tend to be more mature than boys, especially in the pre-teen and early teen years. I think if they understand what you expect from them, that you are giving them your trust, and *why* it is important for them to stay in the room and not open the door to strangers, most 10-year-olds should be fine.

[Sammie]

My kids were 10 and 12 when we left them alone in the hotel room watching movies while we went to a nice "grown up" dinner in the lobby restaurant. It was a HUGE resort (not WDW), with cell phones on us, we were comfortable doing this.

We had given them both the "stanger danger" talk so many times that they could recite in their sleep, practically. The flaw in our plan, however, was forgetting to talk about hotel evacuations. Yup, you guessed it. There was a fire. Not a drill, a real FIRE. It rang on their floor (10th) and adjacent floors, but not in the lobby. Did the kids evac? No. They covered their heads with pillows and cursed the loud alarm. Thank goodness our nieces (a few rooms away) came for them.

Did they try to call us? No. I only found out about the fire when I discovered them returning to the room with security. The whole experience ranks right up there as one of the biggest regrets of my motherhood. :guilty:

In hindsight, we'd do a lot different. Most importantly, not assume "home alone" age and "hotel alone" age are the same thing.

I didn't know that. I had heard that it was age 11 for watching school-aged sibs. But, that's based on nothing official. I believe you.

I think this is great you shared this. Because this is a very important question you have to ask yourself if you decide to leave your kids alone in a room.

Many are fine if nothing happens, but the important question is, "Will they be able to handle any emergency?"

[lisareniff]

My kids were 10 and 12 when we left them alone in the hotel room watching movies while we went to a nice "grown up" dinner in the lobby restaurant. It was a HUGE resort (not WDW), with cell phones on us, we were comfortable doing this.

We had given them both the "stanger danger" talk so many times that they could recite in their sleep, practically. The flaw in our plan, however, was forgetting to talk about hotel evacuations. Yup, you guessed it. There was a fire. Not a drill, a real FIRE. It rang on their floor (10th) and adjacent floors, but not in the lobby. Did the kids evac? No. They covered their heads with pillows and cursed the loud alarm. Thank goodness our nieces (a few rooms away) came for them.

Did they try to call us? No. I only found out about the fire when I discovered them returning to the room with security. The whole experience ranks right up there as one of the biggest regrets of my motherhood. :guilty:

In hindsight, we'd do a lot different. Most importantly, not assume "home alone" age and "hotel alone" age are the same thing.
.

WOW! That must have been scary for you and your kids!