What's the dumbest..... (inspired by nhmomx2)

[Chuck S]

While reading about problems on vacations given to family members in the "Anyone Bumped" thread, I was wondering what has happened in our families, and who won't be invited back?

1st incident: Inivited 2 older cousins (in their 70s), both women. Got them a studio at OKW, at the time it included park passes. All they needed to pay was food. The day before we were to fly out we had an ice storm, and it was expected to get worse. I left work early, and said "The airport is open, let's go and see if we can get a flight out the night before." Well, oin lady canceled then and lost her non-refundable plane ticket. The other went, and we were able to get a flight. We flew in a night early and stayed at a Motel 6, which I PAID FOR, then all during the trip all she did was complain about the price of food. Needless to say, she can't understand why we've never invited her again.

Incident #2. It was to be a HS grad gift for a neice and her friend, they wanted to stay 2 weeks. We had already planned for our point usage that year. Knowing I had to borrow points, I verified that they could go before I booked a studio for 2 weeks. Right after I booked, her parents decided that instead of a trip, she should save her money for college. Again, no one in that family has been invited again.

[Richyams]

During our first stay, we invited my father, his wife and my younger half sister, 18 or so. We had a Grand villa. The first week we had a different set of guests. These guests were leaving on Sunday.

Well the middle Saturday rolls around and they show up with two extra people! They never even asked. They brought along an 11 year old boy, his godson, and one of my sister's girlfriend.

We were still under limit for that Saturday night, but I just couldn't believe the nerve of showing up in a situation like that with two extra people.

[ZerasPride]

Chuck - I would say how "funny" your post is but it really isn't funny. You know my situation already with my sister and her hubby. They are the nicest people but feel that since I am the oldest sibling me and my husband should foot the bill for things like vacations. Her husband has already told her to tell me they will not be making this an annual thing with us. Excuse me if you don't want FREE accommodations year after year - all I can do is laugh. I hope they have a good time with us in November because I don't think after this experience I will be inviting family again.

P.S. Every year my company has a Cedar Point trip and you can bet they will be all for it because you guessed right the tickets and food are FREE!!!!

Lisa

[wdwnut]

hi: at this point, there are only 3 people who will probably never be invited back (2 are nephews and 1 is a friend of one of our ds). both nephews were in their teens when they accompanied us (not on the same trip). both behaved like 3yos or less. one kept clinging to me the entire week and screaming in my ear whenever we went on an attraction(we have a really nice shot of his mouth wide open screaming at me on the tower of terror. it's been 6/7 years since this trip, and he's still not welcome. the other nephew was taken a month before his 15th birthday in 2000. his folks make about 4times what dh and i make. they didn't offer to pay for a thing either. that's kind of okay because when i invite a guest, i never expect them to pay for anyghing other than souvenirs. you guessed it-they complained about having to pay for souvenirs. he was rude the entire week to other people and would have been grounded for months if he was my kid. that christmas they complained about his poor grades for the first marking period because he missed 4 days of school for the trip. the poor grade complaint was also made by the ds' friend's parents after the trip (and i made them do their homework during the trip).
It just goes to show you, some people are never content.

[spruce]

While down last year my Mom, divorced sister and her 2 kids joined us. Having not vacationed in a few years, my sister felt she could cut loose and proceeded get sloppy drunk more then once. In a resturant the one night. She said "I'm on vacation, I'm going to have fun, this is my vacation too, besides, You and Mom are here to watch my kids." WOW!
She lost my sweatshirt which belonged to my late father. She offered no meal in thanks and when I spoke up about her behavior, I was the a**. We didn't speak for 6 months and I'm still angry.
She'll not be invited again.

We took a neighbor child(12y/o) three times. She's one who enjoys antoganizing for the sake of the control she can have over peoples temper. I had a tough time with her. After the 3rd trip she became our son's 1st girlfriend. It didn't last. Thank God she's gone.

We're taking my Wifes brother, SIL and 4 kids this summer....they are thrilled. I predict this one to go fine. Fortunatly the 1st family we invited has backed out over a tiff between my wife and the other wife. That would have been a horriable trip.

I've had my best friends family down and my MIL as well, these were great trips. In fact, MIL will join us for NYE week and a suprise cruise afterwards this year....spruce

[Pumbaa_]

Gotta love those family vacations! now I have a questions, for those where the trip went well, what do you think was the biggest factor contributing to the happy trip? Did everyone talk ahead of time and lay out ground rules? Or was it more basic and the happy vacations are just due to nicer people?

Just curious. I am planning a family vacation for my parents 40th anniversary. Not a DVC'er YET, but am planning on renting points and staying at the BWV. I can see the vacation going wither way and would love any tips you may have. (I am getting two rooms, one for me and my DH, and a 2 bedroom for everybody else! LOL)

[wdwnut]

hi: we've had at least a dozen happy "family"+ trips as well as 3 fiascos as mentioned in the previous post. on the happy trips, it was quite a bit of attitude and a bit of planning. after some "commando" trips, we have relaxed quite a bit. we even did a trip with 15 of us in may of 2000 that worked out fairly well. there are always a few "must dos" that most people want and we make sure we cover those and play the rest of the trip by ear. if you don't stress yourselves out too much, it will be fine. have a great time!

[FreeTime]

Good times!? I have yet to have a good time when we take family. We gave my SIL enough points to get her and her family a room for a week. Her response when I asked her when she wanted to go: Whenever you are. Needless to say Iam upset. This is the only family vacation that we are getting this year. So, I have gotten them their own room and when we get there we are going to say see ya! She has went with us before and constantly screams at her kids. We have taken her kids without her, and they throw their clothes around and don't help clean up. I have told my husband that I am through! They expect to get to go with us on every trip. It has come to the point that I am ready to sell instead of have to deal with them. My advice to all of you non owners yet: DON'T TELL ANYONE!!!!:mad:

[nydizfan]

Ok. I love taking the family. I have taken my mom , dad , brother, mil, fil, and 2 bils and there family .. kids etc.. The only problem. And its not a big problem but .. NO ONE GOES AT MY PACE. Not that i am a commando.. ITs just i like to get going some mornings . And some just don't get it.. My answer is ... no more 2 bedroom lockoffs. I try and explain to them , if they want to see alot without waiting , you have to get up before 9:00 right? but no one wants to listen ... oh well , there WILL be a next time for ME. but just not for them. their loss dave:smooth:

[Chuck S]

For the trips that have gone well with friends and family...
1) They have been out of the cornfield once or twice, travel is not a NEW concept to them.
2) Having traveled some, they were not taken by surprise at the costs, and really appreciated having a nice place to stay.
3) Their personality...they have an open mind and are willing to try new things.
4) They aren't constantly complaining about cost...if they could afford the item, they bought, if not, they made do. I took a friend along that I knew was low on cash, so we compromised on meals and often we'd split a large meal or eat off-property...the key was I really enjoyed his company.
5) If you are an early riser and they are late sleepers, it'll never work.
6) Take a day or two and do the parks together, showing them the bus stops etc., Then they are on their own, unless you WANT to meet up for activities.

The trips that went badly...
1) These folks had rarely traveled and had no idea how.
2) They were used to Wal-Mart prices for everything and thought OKW cost the same as Motel 6. -or- We're family you OWE it to me.
3) Why should I try something new...I won't like it anyway.
4) Money, Money, Money...everything is just TOO expensive for me to enjoy, after all we have to save it ALL for our kids/grandkids. Golly, the price of that dinner could have bought my grandkid a toy.
5) Gosh, you mean we HAVE to go to EPCOT before 9pm? I'm just getting up. There's nothing to do here at the hotel?
6) You are my tour guide, it is your responsibility to make sure I have fun.

[Olaf]

This thread has been amusing. We're new members so we haven't had a chance to take any family yet. After reading this thread, I'm not sure we will.

We did do the Animal Kingdom last March with DH's parents. We managed to get them there at opening and headed right for the Safari. Well after that, FIL wanted to sit down for coffee. I said fine, we'll head over to the Dinosaur ride. It didn't go over well. I'm a planner and they like to just let things happen. I did talk them into buying tickets for Cirque, although FIL made several comments about the price. Afterwards, he admitted that the show was pretty good.

I'm not a hurry to invite any family members. Our vacation time is so precious to us, and I don't want to waste it being ticked off at a relative.

[dianeschlicht]

We have taken many groups of both family and friends. The only problem we have had is when they don't keep our pace, be it slower or faster. We also have had ingrates along who don't pay for a thing and expect us to provide the food as well as the place to stay, but I guess I just don't let it bother me.

To be successfull, I usually spell everything out before the trip. I start talking about what is expected about 4 months before I can make the ressie. Then I call just before the ressie is made to confirm who is going and that they know the ground rules. It has always worked well. Most people are greatful and take us to dinner or even Circue do Soliel for a thank you.

[Regina]

One of the reasons that we joined DVC was to get away from DH's family control of our trips.

We were combining visits to them in FL with our Disney trips. It became a"let's go to WDW together!" Two retirees and a family with 3 little kids does not make the best combination.

I vividly remember one morning. We were meeting them at Graumann's Chinese Theatre in MGM. We waited, and waited and waited. After 30 minutes had elapsed, I called their resort. They were just having their coffee!!!

We couldn't sign fast enough. Now we don't tell them when we're at WDW. My FIL's wife is the only person who can ruin Mickey world.:mad:

[Princess Tess]

We recently brought Mom along with us and things went great. A little slower than I would've liked but we all had a great time which made up for it. Now DM wants to bring the "whole" family down for a vacation. I am one of 6 which means the grand total is @ 26 adults and kids. The only thing I can be sure of is that if it happens, it will be something unfortgettable! Not sure good or bad unforgettable.....;)

[nhmomx2]

Too funny Chuck! At least I know I'm not alone on this - lol! It's funny. When we took my sister & her family and my parents we had a great time. Last year we took another neice to babysit and it worked out great. Whenever we go with my inlaws things seem to get hectic...I think it's because we know what we are doing and what we want to do and my FIL is definitely a commando type. In '99 we booked 10 nights at FW...invited the inlaws and a sil & her daughter came for a few nights...they took the sil, dn and ds & dd to AK to see ITTBB. Well, four hours and three parks later they returned. FIL had to take them on ITTBB, Lil' Mermaid and HISTA...all the while we were waiting for them to return! As much as I love sharing our vacations with family...it may be time to take a break from it after this trip - right mg!!!

[Laurabearz]

My husband and I just returned from OKW with our two girls (ages 21/2 and 15 months) my best friend and two of my husbands freinds. THe trip was 'on us' and they were to help out with the girls...... HA! They all wanted to go on space mountian a millions times and to heck with the kids.....
:mad:

SO we have vowed to never take anyone with us who doesnt have kids our girls ages!!!!

Oh with the exception of the family trip in 2004. There will be 22 of us :) Our plan is to bank and borrow enough so every family gets their own 1 bedroom villa (preferable in different buildings) NO GV's here..... Space and distance makes for good large famly trips!:D

[JonHM]

whether I'd describe this thread as funny or scary... ;) We have a few trips coming up with family and friends over the next year and a half, so I have a question:

A number of you have mentioned 'ground rules' which you lay out before the trip begins. If you wouldn't mind, can some of you talk about what your ground rules are? In other words, what should I tell our relatives before next year's trip to try to prepare them as well as I can?

Thanks, guys! :D

[DVCajun]

Hey Jon-- that sounds like a good new thread to start....

[JonHM]

All right

[spruce]

The ground rules are;
1) My Wife and I get the master bedroom.
2) Do what you want and if we hang out or just cross paths we are not joined at the hip but let's have fun.
3) 1 dinner out or groceries.

I don't think the rules can be any broader....spruce

[SleepyatDVC]

My MIL & FIL retired last year (young) and moved to Houston in October to be near their daughter and family. While dh & I definitely don't miss them (too high manintenance), I do feel sad that out 2 girls don't see the grandparents as much as they use to.

Well, we flew down to their new place in Houston for a big Thanksgiving get-together and then onto OKW (2-bdrm) for the week after. We had invited them along so they could have more time with the girls. Besides, all they do is travel now since retirement. We even gave them 5 day hopper passes as Christmas/Birthday presents.

MIL was sick as a dog over T-day. She was running herself to the ground getting the new house ready for T-day and helping her daughter take care of her 1 year old while he was out of daycare for having a running nose. (He was a handful - I got tired just observing him)

Dh's uncle (MIL's younger brother) also flew down with his youngest daughter (10) to join us at Disney for a few days. They were great to have around. Uncle was very laid back and his daughter kept my oldest (2 3/4 yr. old) occupied. :D :D Well, they are invited any time, especially, Amanda! Heck, we'll even pay for her. Unfortunately, she has school.

Anyways, I think that distance does make the heart grow fonder because MIL seemed more laid back this trip. And I have to admit that they were a great help with the girls. They helped feed the baby, get the girls ready to go out, stayed back with the baby when we took the older one out and even took the older one out to the MK with uncle's family when we stayed back with the baby.

The girls got sick (probably from Grandma) while we were at Disney so I spent a lot of time taking care of them. I DON"T expect other people to take care of MY sick kids when THEY are on vacation too. When they were feeling well, they spent time with the grandparents. I still did a lot of the feeding and changing 'cause they are MY kids = MY responsibility. Besides, I thought my MIL needed a break. She had been so tired and sick. After 8 relaxing days, she was almost completely recovered.

Well, I thought that the in-laws had a great time. They spent time with the girls and also with MIL's family. What happens when I get home!! My Mom tells me that my MIL calls her the next day and spent HOURS complaining about us - how we HOGGED up the kids and didn't let them take care of them - how they only went because of the kids and they EXPECTED to be FULL TIME BABYSITTERS - and how she wasn't sure they would go again if we didn't "loosen up." :eek: :eek:

I guess I should have made my MIL get up at 3am to clean up the bathroom and hold my vomiting child. Or feed the baby at 5am. Maybe I should have had her walk the teething baby or do the laundry generated by two active kids. She should have told me earlier! I plan vacations to be WITH my family not FROM my family. Although, if that's how she felt, I could have just handed the kids off (like some people) and enjoyed some much deserved freedom from parenthood and made everyone happy. Excuse me for being considerate of others and being a responsible parent!!!

I was so mad!! My Mom told me to calm down and told me to let my MIL "help" more with the kids next time they come with us to Disney. DH and I agree that "next time" will be a long time coming. We'll be spending family vacatiion AWAY from his parents for a while.

Seems like you just can't win!!

[cgcw]

We have yet to invite anyone with us. However, I can guarantee that we will never invite any family member with us. I can't imagine spending that much time with either of our families. Maybe a couple of friends but we would have to be in separate units. I give you credit to anyone who chooses to spend that much time with family. In fact, we are going to WDW next Christmas just to get away from them all.

[KNWVIKING]

Dw and I are 42 with both our sons off to college. We go to WDW 3-4 times a year now by ourselves and totally enjoy being ALONE. We don't HAVE to do anything or BE anywhere. Our trips are totally laid back, commando days are distant memories. Recently we have been discussing the "What if's" and "Who would we's" of a possible group trip. DW has 8 bro & sis, I have 3, combined we have 26 niece & nephew,plus God children. Our families are at various income levels,we're probably near or at the top. Dw and I are very frugal in our everyday lifestyle for the very purpose of spoiling ourselves on vacation. We don't think we could stand vacationing with our bro & sis' because cause we can't stand the "well,what do you want to do now" discussions nor do we want to worry about some members spending what we know they can't afford. We've kinda come to the conclusion that the best thing to do would be to take a couple nieces or nephews at a time till,maybe as they reach a certain age. Kids will honestly tell you what they do or don't want to do,we don't have to be mindreaders. The best reason we could think of would be to just watch their faces. They would love the trip 10 times more then their parents.

[Margie J]

Back in the years when I still got park passes with a stay I booked a two-bedroom unit in July for my cousins and their kids. They wanted to plan this big WDW trip before all the kids got too old and were off to College, etc. I gave up almost all my points for the year to help them out.

I did all the booking and off they went. Can you believe I never even got a phone call from them! I had to call them to make sure things were ok. When they came back I never got a thank you from any of them. Free room, free tickets ... no thanks! :mad: Not even a pin or something from them. Nothing. Oh, but they had all these wonderful pictures to show me of all the fun they had.

Even my Mom told me "don't you ever do that again".

[QueenAnne]

My DS took me and my DH to HH last August. We had 4 adults and 3 children (2, 4, and 8 all girls) in a 2bdrm We planned this vacation until we could plan no more! I think that it what made it a success. We were not members yet and they took us on thier points. The only down fall was my DD was the worst behaved 2 yr old on the planet, it was like she saved all her energy for that one week and then exploded. But besides that things were great. She set the rules out and we followed them. We were going to pay for 1/2 of food and 100% of everything else we wanted! Turned out kinda nice because about 2 weeks after the vacation, I asked how much I owed my sister (she paid for everything and we agreed I would pay at the end) and she said nothing, they came out under budget and treated us!! Lucky us! We also be DVC members while we were there so they got a bonus through DVC as well!!

My DH and I are taking his family to VB this July, should be interesting. My DH "accidently" invited his SIL, who I can't stand, to go with us. It was just supposed to be his DM and DD. I wouldn't doubt if she invited someone to go, but I would put my foot down at that! I'm sure you'll hear all about that trip when it's over!!!!!:D :D :D :D

[Lesley]

OMG you folks have me afraid! We are taking my mom and step-dad this December....I think it will go well, since I kind of have a good idea what our issues might be (mom is a militant smoker...though generally a polite one...she'll complain about all the "restrictions".... also she generally hates Disney music, isn't a real animation fan either, and hates crowds. Step-dad will have a great time in the parks, but will be in sticker shock the entire time about the cost of things...he's quite frugal. My mom, however, is not frugal in the same way...enjoys nice things and knows how to have a good time without worrying about money). We have told them that they can "pay us" by watching the kids for an evening...my dh and I haven't enjoyed WDW alone since 1994.

We have offered a trip to my SIL and her dh, and my BIL and his dw, in 2004. We have basically told them when we will be going and that they are welcome to come. As time to make the ressie draws near I will insist upon a definite yes or no. I'd like to try to get a GV at OKW, but my dh seems much more in favor of a 2br and a studio...togetherness in his family can get a bit trying at times. My dh says that we will be going our own way this trip....basically doing what we want and if they want to join us they'll have to fit our time table or catch up later. I'm a bit apprehensive. And I actually have this nagging feeling that a month or less before the trip they'll cancel on us...so I have backup plans in my head about who we could invite last minute...I have some friends who are generally free to pick up and go...or we might try taking a couple of my young cousins who are close in age to my kids or are babysitting age.

Oh, and one of the ground rules my dh has set already is that we always get the master br with the king bed!

[DVCajun]

QueenAnne, you had me confused for a minute there-- I was trying to figure out how your SON (DS) could be old enough to have points and take you to HH! :) Then I figured you must be talking about your sister.

I'm sure we'll have to invite the inlaws one of these days, but I dread the thought. They won't appreciate it at all, and will think it's all too expensive. FIL is one of these types who only likes two foods: pizza and hamburgers, and even those as basic as they come. We have stopped trying to get him to try anything new. Taking him around the World Showcase will be hell.

Maybe if I put it off long enough it won't have to happen. I don't want to "contaminate" the most perfect place on earth.

[Granny]

Isn't it incredible that something that's supposed to be relaxing and enjoyable like vacation can turn into such a mess?

For some people, it's "all about me", and unfortunately, many of us are related to people like that. They can add stress to family gatherings, Christmas, and even going to the Happiest Place on Earth.

And so many allow themselves to be guilted into inviting them or not setting things straight when these folks invite themselves.

Oh well, like I said on the rules thread....only one rule for DW and I.....DON'T TELL ANYONE WE OWN DVC! :smooth:

[newarknut]

My wife and I have talked about inviting friends and family along for a trip. My biggest fear is that they would want to do "everything" together. It's very hard to stay as a group and see any amusement park, let alone, the "happiest place on earth"!

When you all have friends and family join you, do you go your separate ways, or try and stay together?

Our vacation time is very precious "family" time for me, my wife and our two kids. I don't cherish the thought of sharing that time. It sounds a little selfish to say, however, it's the truth.

Newarknut

[Margaret64]

I started reading this thread a couple of days ago and have alternated with laughing and genuinely feeling for some of the awful experiences. Ha, never thought I would be posting re the same. This is the story of a trip that never will happen.

We are scheduled to "return home" mid March. My husband has a much younger half-sister (age 14) who lives in another state. As a treat, we paid NON-REFUNDABLE tickets to have her fly here. We live in a Washington DC suburb. Then we all have NON-REFUNDABLE tickets to fly to Orlando. My FIL called last night to say that SIL needs to cancel her trip because her HS colorguard team is having a competition. I asked if these were tryouts to join or stay on the team. No, just a city-wide competition. Argh!!!!!

I don't know which disappoints me more. That she will be missing her only opportunity to visit WDW (never has been) or that she will be missing the 4 days after that we were going to show her the sights of Washington DC. Both are opportunities that everyone should experience. The only saving grace is that we are 36 days out and we were able to switch from a two-bedroom to a one-bedroom.