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View Full Version : SIL hijacking our vacation?


flipflop
09-11-2007, 10:41 AM
We have made plans with my parents to take our kids to WDW for the kids' first trip next year. SIL has known about our plans for months. My SIL (DH's sister) announced to me that they have decided to go the same week.:mad: We can't move our week because it is hooked up with a visit to my dad's house in FL for Thanksgiving and we planned the first week of Dec b/c it's slower and all the decorations are up. So, I am probably being a big baby about this (and it is fine for you to tell me so) but I am a little ticked off and feel like SIL is hijacking our vacation. SIL and BIL are currently in WDW with their DS and my ILs for DS' first trip. I would never have dreamed of going the same week as them without being invited. I think it's rude. SIL and I are good friends, we live 20 minutes away from each other, and we have travelled with our DHs and another set of friends to WDW together previously. Until she makes reservations (both of us own DVC so that won't be until January), I am keeping my mouth shut. But if they go ahead with the plan, would you find a way to let her know that you plan on keeping your vacation plans independent?

LadyShea
09-11-2007, 10:51 AM
Well, you're both DVC members, and that is a great week to go to both see the decor and avoid the crowds...possibly she just had the same idea as you did. I would be charitable in my interpretation of her actions, and assume it was not meant to be rude or intrusive.

I would also, however, assume independent plans and not mention any joint activities at all until/unless she does. If she mentions touring jointly I would explain that with the kids first visit you would rather plan your itinerary around them, and not have to worry about accommodating other people's wishes and preferences. If you all can get together for a meal or something without disrupting your itinerary, then great.

aprincess@mail.com
09-11-2007, 12:04 PM
I think I agree with LadyShea, plan seperate activities. If a dinner is requested, then see if its accomadable. If it's not, then Dont bother...
Good Luck, I would feel a little uneasy and irritated too. But I dont have a good relationship with my SIL..

Princess Roo
09-11-2007, 12:57 PM
I don't find it rude that she is going the same week (WDW is a big place and it's a great time to go), but I would find it rude if she assumes that you need to spend a lot of time with her. I would just assume that it is a completely separate vacation. If she mentions something about doing things together, suggest one meal or one half-day in the parks or something and tell her you want to keep it at that. I think the fact that you are bringing your parents along gives you the perfect excuse to be separate, even if she wants otherwise.

Scuttle
09-11-2007, 01:12 PM
I don't really have an opinions that hadn't already been offered, just saw that you have triplets and wanted to say "HI":wave2:

bopper
09-11-2007, 01:20 PM
"Oh SIL! Sorry we have already made all our dinner reservations for the trip....let's see, on Wednesday we could get together for lunch. What are we doing tomorrow? Well we will be at MK at 8:30. What? You don't want to get up that early? Maybe we will see you around the park. Cell phones you say? Oh hear that my carrier gets really bad reception in the park. No, we have planned our vacation with my parents so we aren't going to change it. I am sorry that is just not possible. I hope you have fun!"

flipflop
09-11-2007, 01:30 PM
Thanks to all for bringing me back from the ledge. Good suggestions from everyone!

mousescrapper
09-11-2007, 07:10 PM
Good luck with that! :scared: It's proably good you and your SIL get along. My SIL and I have a decent relationship and get along pretty well, but traveling...not so much :scared1: We have a few times even to the World back in 05 and it was only 4 of our 10 days, but they were the most stressed. Now we are booked for 08 going with my DM, which is so not a problem. But both DH and I are worried she may highjack our trip too, and not in a "oh we're traveling at the same time?' kind of thing. When I let it slip in casual conversion we were going agian, she just jumped on board without even asking, this is not a family even like 05, it was a suprise trip for our twins 6th b-day. So now I have been tight-lipped since and before making our ressie and keeping my fingers crossed, she doesn't ask about it, were not even leaking info to DH's DM.:tiptoe:

I hope that you can both work out seperate itineries or a few combined events that don't interfere with your family's first trip together to WDW.

Best of Luck :goodvibes

Aristomommy
09-11-2007, 09:32 PM
I don't think you are being a baby about this. It's rude for your SIL to invite herself on your trip. She may want to share this experience with you, but she should have asked about it. I would not offer any info on your plans unless she asks. And even then I would make her try to make the ADRs coincide with yours. it's a pain to try to rearrange your ADRs and I have heard of many mistakes happening this way. You can explain things to her just as they are and if she gets upset, there is nothing you can do about it.

flipflop
09-12-2007, 08:15 AM
Good luck with that! :scared: It's proably good you and your SIL get along. My SIL and I have a decent relationship and get along pretty well, but traveling...not so much :scared1: We have a few times even to the World back in 05 and it was only 4 of our 10 days, but they were the most stressed. Now we are booked for 08 going with my DM, which is so not a problem. But both DH and I are worried she may highjack our trip too, and not in a "oh we're traveling at the same time?' kind of thing. When I let it slip in casual conversion we were going agian, she just jumped on board without even asking, this is not a family even like 05, it was a suprise trip for our twins 6th b-day. So now I have been tight-lipped since and before making our ressie and keeping my fingers crossed, she doesn't ask about it, were not even leaking info to DH's DM.:tiptoe:

I hope that you can both work out seperate itineries or a few combined events that don't interfere with your family's first trip together to WDW.

Best of Luck :goodvibes


We enjoyed our trips to WDW together without kids but SIL and BIL travel very differently from us. 100% of their current trip is planned for their DS - they are not using child swap b/c the trip is about DS and if he can't go on they won't go on (he's 2 3/4). When we take our kids we will, of course, plan a lot of things around what we think they will enjoy but we will also utilize child swap to go on splash, rnrc, etc and plan a night out for dinner alone while Nana and Gramps babysit. As our kids are getting older, our difference in parenting styles is becoming more apparent and it sometimes is difficult to deal with and I don't want to have to deal with that on vacation.

My DH, mom and step-dad will sit down and make plans and pick ADRs, park days, etc and I will just keep it to myself. I know WDW is very big but it is not a very crowded time of year and SIL and I are both avid WDW planners who use the same guides/services to pick days, etc. I don't want to be running into them all over the place.

I hope your SIL forgets you mentioned your WDW trip. :goodvibes

flipflop
09-12-2007, 08:20 AM
I don't think you are being a baby about this. It's rude for your SIL to invite herself on your trip. She may want to share this experience with you, but she should have asked about it. I would not offer any info on your plans unless she asks. And even then I would make her try to make the ADRs coincide with yours. it's a pain to try to rearrange your ADRs and I have heard of many mistakes happening this way. You can explain things to her just as they are and if she gets upset, there is nothing you can do about it.


Thanks. I wasn't sure if I was over-reacting. I ran it by a few very honest friends and they told me they'd be upset about it too. Most of the advice I have been given is similar to what you and others have said on this thread - make my plans, keep my mouth shut and if later something works out that we can meet up and we want to do so, great.

I just hope MIL and FIL don't try to jump on board now - b/c that would mean a certain change in plans for us.

PEANUT1
09-12-2007, 02:26 PM
try not to be too upset and don't let anything spoil your trip...even if they do go, you already have plans made and you don't have to spend a lot of time with your SIL and her family. I don't think you are being a baby, but I also don't think it is rude of your SIL. Take it as a compliment that she cares about you so much that she would like to vacation with you.:flower3:

slo
09-12-2007, 02:31 PM
This would bug me too ::yes::

I hope this all works out w/o anyone getting upset with anyone :wizard:

I don't have any suggestions, but the ones you received from others sound great. Try to not let this all bother you (even though I know that's easier said than done) and have a great vacation!! :cool1:

eliza61
09-12-2007, 03:39 PM
Actually I wouldn't mention it unless she brings it up. As other posters said she may have just had the same idea as you. Nothing says you have to be joined at the hip.. If she does bring it up, politely smile and say "that sounds nice" and don't offer up any information.

mousescrapper
09-12-2007, 09:03 PM
I hope your SIL forgets you mentioned your WDW trip. :goodvibes

me too. I know it sounds bad. but this is our
WDW trip....glad to have an understanding post and back to you.:goodvibes