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drakethib
09-03-2007, 04:57 PM
Need honest opinions and I am ready for the flames.

I think, no scratch that, I know the wife and I need a break (as selfish as that sounds) and have a short vacation just the 2 of us.

Grandma & Grandpa have more then once begged for the little one to stay at their house for a few days while the wife and I take a trip.

So we are thinking WDW for a few days in November (our anniversary) and go back as a family again in January.

We feel a bit guilty not brining our two year old. She has been about 4 times and will go many more but the wife and I need some "us" time.

Ok, so how horrible of parents does this make us? Before I had a child I would have told someone that this is on big deal and do it but now that the shoe is on the other foot .......

So lay on the advice not matter what it is.

Thanks

Allison
09-03-2007, 05:02 PM
I fully support doing this. I think it's good for you and I think it's good for kids to spend time with grandparents. We just picked up my kids after a weekend camping with grandpa. They LOVE it and are making lifetime memories.

jj1403
09-03-2007, 05:21 PM
Go for it. My husband and I did take a solo trip and we had a great time. No kids swap...we didn't have to speed eat any meals... and we were able to have an entire conversation.
But don't kid yourself you'll miss your kids. Especially when you see them everywhere you go! ;) But don't let that stop you. Everyone needs some alone time. Have fun!

p.s. My husband felt really guilty and bought every princess doll he could find to bring back to our daughter!

drakethib
09-03-2007, 05:33 PM
p.s. My husband felt really guilty and bought every princess doll he could find to bring back to our daughter!

I will probably do the same

luvmy2sams
09-03-2007, 05:57 PM
Going to the grandparents without mom and dad around can almost be the equivalent of spending time at Disney for your little one! Give yourselves this time alone together, especially since you know you'll be taking your little one often.

I agree that you will miss your little girl, but at the same time you'll make lots of great memories with your spouse. Besides, I'm sure you'll find plenty of ways to spoil her via special gifts that you might not otherwise purchase. It's nice to be able to Disney at an adult pace...without diapers, backpacks, strollers, potty breaks, etc.

DH and I spent five nights at Disney alone back back in 2004. The kids (5 and 15 months at the time) DID NOT miss us. In fact, we've decided to repeat this trip again next December and just booked our adults-only vacation this morning!

Go for it and have a fantastic time! :)

MinnieCandi
09-03-2007, 06:04 PM
Go on the trip in November just the two of you and have a great anniversary! :goodvibes There will be plenty of more family trips to take over the years. Also, remember that to a two year old, there is not much difference between the grandparents house (where they get spoiled) and DW!;)

all4fun
09-03-2007, 06:24 PM
I don't think it makes you horrible at all. I think you're smart to realize you need to take a break for just the two of you and recharge your relationship. In the long run that will be good for your children, not bad for them. At two your dd will probably love all the attention she'll get from the grandparents and it will in a way be a vacation (from the norm) for her too! Plus she won't remember it after a few years anyway (you know, that's the same reason people give for not taking their very young children to WDW too, isn't it? ;) ) LOL

Anyway go and have a good time. Please don't take too much time feeling guilty. After all she's been four times before the age of three already so its not like she's really missing out on anything. If anything you'll miss her more than she misses you.

:) hth

disney_family_1247
09-03-2007, 11:40 PM
We are not the type of parents who leave our kids for "us time" in the first place, but of all the places to not bring a child, Disney World seems the most cruel:confused3 . If you want to get away from your child, why go somewhere that she loves? Plus, you'll be surrounded by kids the entire time!

If you do go, I hope you won't tell your child where :rolleyes1 . It sounds like the grandparents are willing to have her, but is your child happy with them? None of mine would have wanted to be away from me when they were two, even though we live near their grandparents and are all very close.

mom2-four
09-04-2007, 12:21 AM
Why not? Its really important for DH and I to have us time too. We really get to catch up with each other that way.

Have a great time!! :)

*KeepMovingForward*
09-04-2007, 05:58 AM
I think every couple should get away for some alone time and just because Disney is so child friendly doesn't mean you should feel guilty if you don't bring your own child just this once. Goodness...your going back in January for a family trip...how much better does it get? :) My mother was the type that would never vacation without us kids, but in all honesty...that was my mother's problem...us kids never would have felt slighted had she and my father went away for a few days and left us with either set of grandparents. Different strokes for different folks...heaven knows if we all had the same opinions and outlook on life..well, we'd all be pretty boring. Do what you feel comfortable with. For me, I would go and enjoy myself-nothing to feel guilty about at all. Good luck whatever you decide. :thumbsup2

dsnymomof4
09-04-2007, 07:33 AM
Definitely go! You will have a great time! While it's normal to feel guilty about going without your DD, it's also perfectly fine to want to spend some alone time with your wife! I know some people say it's wrong to go to a "family" place like Disney without kids, but it's not. If you love Disney and want to spend time there without the kids (which, by the way is a totally different, but equally wonderful experience), than go for it! Besides, at 2, she won't really feel "jealous" that you're going to Disney without her. Plus, she's already been there so much and you're all going again - you really have nothing to feel guilty about. So, go. Do some things that you wouldn't normally be able to do when your DD is with you. Have a great time!

mom*to*2*princesses
09-04-2007, 08:16 AM
Go and don't worry about it! It is not selfish at all. I have said more than once that the ability to get away by ourselves has made us better parents. Everyone needs to recharge, and you shouldn't feel bad about wanting to do that. We have taken two vacations without kids, each for 3 nights/4 days and have enjoyed every second of them. We didn't choose to go to WDW because that's not the type of vacation we wanted for ourselves, but if that's what you want to do, you should.

You have the perfect set up, with grandparents ready and able to take care of her. She'll be happy to have a vacation of her own. Go, have fun, and don't feel guilty--there's nothing to feel guilty about!

Mouse House Mama
09-04-2007, 08:49 AM
I have to be honest and tell you that DH and I have never done that. We don't feel a need to as we make time for each other in other ways- BUT- if you feel you need to have a little down time there is no harm in that. It took me a long time to realize that never having any down time does not make me a better parent to my kids. It just makes me tired.:upsidedow Refresh yourselves if you need to. There is nothing wrong with it. If you know your DD will be happy and the grandparents can handle it then go for it. Disney is alot of fun for adults!

JKMJ441724
09-04-2007, 10:41 AM
JUST DO IT!!! We did it back in May for our 10th Anniversary. I'm writing a trip report about it.

I'm not going to lie to you, it was HARD at points. Had some major moments of guilt. But it was definately worth it.

You deserve it. It's important to show your child that your marriage is important, too.

mickeylove2
09-04-2007, 01:26 PM
Need honest opinions and I am ready for the flames.

I think, no scratch that, I know the wife and I need a break (as selfish as that sounds) and have a short vacation just the 2 of us.

Grandma & Grandpa have more then once begged for the little one to stay at their house for a few days while the wife and I take a trip.

So we are thinking WDW for a few days in November (our anniversary) and go back as a family again in January.

We feel a bit guilty not brining our two year old. She has been about 4 times and will go many more but the wife and I need some "us" time.

Ok, so how horrible of parents does this make us? Before I had a child I would have told someone that this is on big deal and do it but now that the shoe is on the other foot .......

So lay on the advice not matter what it is.

Thanks

That one line is the only one that I raised my eyebrow at....while I agree that if you feel that you need to be alone with your wife by all means go on a mini vacation. :thumbsup2 But I question what is so trying in your life that you know that you need a break??? Although I don't know you or your situation, I'm just a little curious because I have never said that I need to go away from my children, my DH and I both work FT and go to college- he goes PT and I go FT, and unless something astronomical happened in my life I don't think that I could say that I needed a break from my kids. That is what you are saying, isn't it? (I'm not saying that I wouldn't/don't like to go away while the kids are at mommoms for a day, or pack them up to spend the night so I can study for a midterm every now and then.) My thoughts are that my DH and I choose to have children and they are our responsibility, not anyone else's. Have fun though!!:dance3:

flipflop
09-04-2007, 03:14 PM
:thumbsup2 :thumbsup2 :thumbsup2

DH and I have felt the need to have a break as well. I am all for adult alone time and totally understand why you are feeling guilty. Our house is very child focused, as it should be since we decided to have kids, and sometimes we forget to spend time on ourselves. We have been to WDW twice without our kids and although we missed them, we came back recharged and reconnected. We probably won't go back to WDW without them again now that they are older (and DH isn't as big of a WDW buff as myself) but we will continue to take periodic adults-only, enjoy being spoiled at Nana's, vacations.

SeptemberGirl
09-04-2007, 03:33 PM
But I question what is so trying in your life that you know that you need a break??? Although I don't know you or your situation, I'm just a little curious because I have never said that I need to go away from my children, my DH and I both work FT and go to college- he goes PT and I go FT, and unless something astronomical happened in my life I don't think that I could say that I needed a break from my kids.

God Bless You. No, really, no sarcasm here at all - more power to you - i am glad that some people feel that way. I, although not the OP, am not one of them.

Why do I feel that my DH and I need to get away by ourselves sometimes? Because I find that I start to relate to him as the father of my child rather than my husband. That's why. I need more than one dinner out to see him as the man in my life, to start those conversations that aren't about the kid or the house or the money or what we're doing next weekend.

We don't go away for long - the longest has been three nights, the shortest one night, but we leave. We drive somewhere and stay overnight and get out of our house and neighborhood and routine.

It's great that you don't feel that need, I'm sure it saves you money! But I don't think those of us who do feel that need are lesser people, parents, or spouses.

To the OP, I hope you have a great time on your trip, and I think the guilt and expense is well worth it if it strengthens your marriage - after all, that's the best thing you can give your child, a happy family.

Elmo888
09-04-2007, 03:50 PM
Go, go, go! Your child has a great opportunity to spend one on one time with grandparents, and you have a great opportunity to spend one on one time with each other! Think of it this way - you are doing your child a favor by taking time to be with your spouse.

Plus, I don't agree that WDW is just for kids. It is great for adults-only, too!

t-beri
09-04-2007, 03:51 PM
First let me say that I didn't read any of the responses to this post. So, if I repeat someone else or many someone elses I'm sorry.

I emphatically think that you should go. WDW is a different experience w/o the kids. You can have as much fun and you'd be surprised at the things you go, "Oh, let's do this, we've never done it before" While all of WDW is ffamily oriented there are just things you don't do b/c it's not right for a toddler or little suzy is afraid of the dark or whatever, you get my point. My anniversary is also in Nov. (the 1st if you'd like to know) and we go to WDW for MNSSHP every year (we live in FL.) and DH and I always try to plan it so that the kids go home w/ our rents at the end of vacation and we stay an extra day or 2 to celebrate our anniversary.

PLUS she's 2, she won't even know where you've gone! My DS is 9 and found out that we were going on a short trip to WDW w/ his 2 yo sister and was super mopey. I told him he got to go by himself when he was 2. SO if you were leaving an older child it would be a bit more tricky - though I'd still highly encourage it but a 2 yo?? She'll never know you were gone. I hope you decide to go that your wife is able to accept a break from the kids and enjoy herself and that the two of you have a wonderful time celebrating your marriage!
Congratulations!!

...t.

t-beri
09-04-2007, 04:05 PM
OK, just read a few replies and I have to say 2 things...

1. DO NOT under ANY circumstance be made to feel guilty for wanting a break from the kids. EVER. Everyone needs time to strengthen and recharge themselves. To spend time w/ their spouses and focus on their relationship it is normal and HEALTHY and your marriage will thank you. As will your kids who whether ya'll want to believe it or not-want a break from you too once in a while. your kids will get a great bonding experience w/ grandma and grandpa and both parties will thank you for that. I spent every singlesaturday night of my life at my Grand's, we made cookies, popped popcorn watched movies and she taught me how to play cards and shared w/ me her love of books. I wouldn't trade my Grand time for any other childhood memory in the world.

2. NEVER EVER under ANY circumstoance return from vacation sans kiddos WITHOUT presents. You will definitely have to pony up w/ the princess dolls. Though I think 1 will suffice.

that is all...t.

drakethib
09-04-2007, 08:07 PM
We are not the type of parents who leave our kids for "us time" in the first place, but of all the places to not bring a child, Disney World seems the most cruel:confused3 . If you want to get away from your child, why go somewhere that she loves? Plus, you'll be surrounded by kids the entire time!

If you do go, I hope you won't tell your child where :rolleyes1 . It sounds like the grandparents are willing to have her, but is your child happy with them? None of mine would have wanted to be away from me when they were two, even though we live near their grandparents and are all very close.

We are thinking about WDW because we are DVC members so lodging will cost us nothing. RT plane tickets are less then $420.00. We have AP's so admission will be free. Long story short for under $650.00 we will be going somewhere that we really enjoy for our anniversary. (WDW is where we went on our honeymoon).

Our little loves "PAW" (her grandfather) and Layla (long story = her grandmother) and goes nuts every time they or we visit which is quite often.

drakethib
09-04-2007, 08:28 PM
Thanks all for the responses no matter if you were for or against my topic.

A little background on my family.

As a child I would spend weeks and summers with my grandparents. I had a good family life with my immediate family and I really enjoyed the time spent with my Grandparents (These are some of my favorite childhood memories).

We are blessed with a wonderful healthy daughter, she is the most precious thing in my life. We do not need a break from her, but we need a break from being a grown up. (Yeah, I know what you are thinking about this statement).

My wife and I both have stressful jobs (She is an Engineering Manager for a Chemical Plant and I work in the Business Services group for the largest US Refinery Company). We have just got done building a new house, selling our old one, gone through a couple of transitions at work, being a parent for the first time, we just need a break. Maybe we are bad parents, but this is what I think we need. My wife and I used to be able to finish each others sentences, now we just feel tired and grumpy towards each other. This is year number 7 for us. Our bills are paid, college funds have are set up, our bosses are happy, all of that grown up stuff is taken care of.

WDW is one of our favorite places that we have ever been. We started going to WDW when we were dating. We have traveled to other placesbut always seem to float back to WDW. I believe we have been 15 times since 1998. (Hence we bought DVC).

I made reseverations this afternoon so we are going and will have to deal with the guilt as it comes along.

Will we regret it? No

Will we feel guilty? Probably

Will we miss our little one? Without a doubt

Will it be good for us to recharge? I think it will.

Again, I appreciate the input and words from all.

DVCLiz
09-04-2007, 08:39 PM
That one line is the only one that I raised my eyebrow at....while I agree that if you feel that you need to be alone with your wife by all means go on a mini vacation. :thumbsup2 But I question what is so trying in your life that you know that you need a break??? Although I don't know you or your situation, I'm just a little curious because I have never said that I need to go away from my children, my DH and I both work FT and go to college- he goes PT and I go FT, and unless something astronomical happened in my life I don't think that I could say that I needed a break from my kids. That is what you are saying, isn't it? (I'm not saying that I wouldn't/don't like to go away while the kids are at mommoms for a day, or pack them up to spend the night so I can study for a midterm every now and then.) My thoughts are that my DH and I choose to have children and they are our responsibility, not anyone else's. Have fun though!!:dance3:

So your needs are different from someone else's - big deal.

OP - go and have fun.

toyac
09-04-2007, 08:59 PM
That one line is the only one that I raised my eyebrow at....while I agree that if you feel that you need to be alone with your wife by all means go on a mini vacation. :thumbsup2 But I question what is so trying in your life that you know that you need a break??? Although I don't know you or your situation, I'm just a little curious because I have never said that I need to go away from my children, my DH and I both work FT and go to college- he goes PT and I go FT, and unless something astronomical happened in my life I don't think that I could say that I needed a break from my kids. That is what you are saying, isn't it? (I'm not saying that I wouldn't/don't like to go away while the kids are at mommoms for a day, or pack them up to spend the night so I can study for a midterm every now and then.) My thoughts are that my DH and I choose to have children and they are our responsibility, not anyone else's. Have fun though!!:dance3:



Ooohh, I can answer that...SHE.IS. TWO!!! I have one of those and I can't wait for the trip I am surprising my husband with for Valentine's Day. We are taking the kid's to WDW this November so won't feel bad at all cuddled with my honey. Parents burn out b/c parenting is an exhilirating yet exhausting job. You are right, a child is the responsibility of the parents. But a lot of times there are many people in a child's life that would love to help lift some of the burden.

OP go and enjoy yourself. My grandparents and parents always took trips by themselves without the kids. Being that 99% of the people in my family stay married for life, I'll follow their lead. in fact, my grandmother always reminds me or my order of priorities: GOD, spouse, kids, family, and then everything else. People have forgotten that children grow up and get lives of their own; too many people end up splitting after 20 and 30 years of marriage b/c they have forgotten to do just what you are doing now: you children are a product of a good marriage, your marriage is NOT a product of your children.

bzzymom
09-04-2007, 09:10 PM
I say go for it. DH and I haven't had a get away alone since 1999. We went to Cedarpoint in Sandusky, Ohio for a few nights. It is 8 hours away from home. We had never been there before and we love coasters and we wanted to ride them together, not baby swap them. After I got there, and saw how nice a place it is and how nice it was for children I felt guilt. I got over it and the next year, we went back, took DS and my in-laws came along to help out with watching DS during the rides. It turned out fine after all, but I felt guilty while I was there.

abolanwoski
09-05-2007, 03:58 PM
That one line is the only one that I raised my eyebrow at....while I agree that if you feel that you need to be alone with your wife by all means go on a mini vacation. :thumbsup2 But I question what is so trying in your life that you know that you need a break??? Although I don't know you or your situation, I'm just a little curious because I have never said that I need to go away from my children, my DH and I both work FT and go to college- he goes PT and I go FT, and unless something astronomical happened in my life I don't think that I could say that I needed a break from my kids. That is what you are saying, isn't it? (I'm not saying that I wouldn't/don't like to go away while the kids are at mommoms for a day, or pack them up to spend the night so I can study for a midterm every now and then.) My thoughts are that my DH and I choose to have children and they are our responsibility, not anyone else's. Have fun though!!:dance3:


You are right - you can never judge what others are going through or how much a person can tolerate before they need a break for sanity's sake. Allowing your parents to have quality time with your kids while you refresh and regroup is not abdicating responsibility. I really does take a village to raise a family and I have fantastic memory of the time I spent with both my sets of grandparents as a child (without my parents ruining the fun by enforcing bedtime and veggie eating) I am now continuing that tradition by letting DD hang out with her Pappy while DH and I repair the damage done by military deployments (both of us) and 80+ hour work weeks with every third night on call away from home (welcome to residency) When I am home, every waking moment is devoted to DD, so when the time comes, I do need the break. It makes me a better parent, not a worse one.

Enjoy your trip to WDW. Sleep, eat late, have sex and pretend for a few minutes that only your spouse exists. When you come back, your kiddo will regale you with hair-curling tales of late nights, ice-cream dinners and will be no worse for the wear.

Mouse House Mama
09-05-2007, 04:18 PM
You are right - you can never judge what others are going through or how much a person can tolerate before they need a break for sanity's sake. Allowing your parents to have quality time with your kids while you refresh and regroup is not abdicating responsibility. I really does take a village to raise a family and I have fantastic memory of the time I spent with both my sets of grandparents as a child (without my parents ruining the fun by enforcing bedtime and veggie eating) I am now continuing that tradition by letting DD hang out with her Pappy while DH and I repair the damage done by military deployments (both of us) and 80+ hour work weeks with every third night on call away from home (welcome to residency) When I am home, every waking moment is devoted to DD, so when the time comes, I do need the break. It makes me a better parent, not a worse one.

Enjoy your trip to WDW. Sleep, eat late, have sex and pretend for a few minutes that only your spouse exists. When you come back, your kiddo will regale you with hair-curling tales of late nights, ice-cream dinners and will be no worse for the wear.

Maybe you'll bring back a little souvenier!:rotfl: :banana: :rotfl: