My Brother was killed...

[Charleyann]

My only brother was killed Friday night and his body just found this evening, He was driving a 4 wheeler in a severe storm. A tree toppled over and his chest bore the brunt. Police are saying he died instantly. I hope they are right. I can't think of him lying there in pain for almost 24 hours. OMG, he was all I have left of my immediate family with the exception of my Mom who has alzheimers. She is just young at 65. She doesn't know us anymore. My child has cystic fibrosis and I am not coping well. I am a single parent. My Dad died three years ago from cancer...

I have had enough. I hear it all the time, God only gives you as much as you can handle. But please I have had enough!

Please, pray and help me get through this...

I have to make funeral arrangements and I can hardly breathe. My heart is broken....

I can't imagine going to his house (he was single) and making arrangements.

Life is so damn unfair!!!!!

Charleyann

[dreamin in pa]

:grouphug: to you and you are in my prayers

[angel*lady]

:hug: I am so sorry! I will keep you in my prayers.

[jstmee]

I will be praying for you while you go through this difficult time.

I don't know about the term "God will only give you what you can handle." I sure do not believe that. What I do know is that we will keep trudging along one minute at a time to get through our trials.

My best to you.

Wendy

(I live across the river from Edmundston, New Brunswick)

[mommasita]

I am so sorry to hear this. I will most certainly offer prayers for you...You have definitely been given a lot to bear. :grouphug:

This board is an amazing place, and I so believe in the power of prayer. Many will support you (myself included) and pray for you..

Please PM me if you need a friend, I will be there.

:hug: :hug: :hug: :flower3: :flower3: :flower3:

[Mackey Mouse]

"God only gives you as much as you can handle."

I do know that expression, I cannot tell you how many times people said that to me and continue to say it as my husband battles Cancer.... I do not believe in that expression and I feel your pain. I am so sorry about your brother, it seems you have had way more than your share of sorrow..

I will pray for you that you can get through the next few days in tact, your everyday is hard enough from what I am reading. Please know that you can come here and talk it out whenever you need to.

Take care of you and yours and know that you have a safe place here to vent.

[java]

I am so sorry to hear this. I can only imagine the pain you are feeling. :hug: And I hope you can make it through these difficult days. I hope you have easier painfree roads ahead.

[Pea-n-Me]

You must be a very strong woman. God bless you. I'm so sorry about your brother. Keep posting here, we care. :grouphug:

[WebmasterKathy]

Charleyann, you have more on your shoulders than anyone should have to handle on their own. :guilty:

I'm so very sorry, and I'll be praying for you to find the strength to get through the days and weeks ahead. You have many people here who, though you don't see us, are in your corner and sending you many thoughts and prayers of strength. Lean on us, and come here if you need to talk.

:hug:

[slk537]

I am so very sorry about your brother. Accidental deaths are such shocks and it is hard to move through the grief. You don't have to handle it all - turn to your friends and let them help you take care of you. I am praying you will quickly find your coping skills to take care of yourself and get through this.

:hug:

I am just so very, very sorry!!!

[annie1995]

There are no words I can offer that will even touch being able to take your pain away...I am so sorry for the loss of your brother. You will be in my prayers.:hug:

[agnes!]

Charleyann -

Words fail me.
I am so sorry.

agnes!

[mommyoftwinfants]

:hug: :hug:
I am so sorry for your loss and hard times, you will be in our prayers.

[MelanieC]

I sent you a PM. I've lost my only brother too to a tragic event. Please PM if you need to talk. I am keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.

[dvcbnd]

Charleyann, I'm so sorry! Just know that you are not alone at this time. We will be praying for you that God will give you the strength that you need to get through this very difficult time. Take it one moment at a time and when you need to talk, we're here for you.

[CarolAnnC]

My deepest sympathy to you on the loss of your beloved brother. Life can be so unfair, and we sometimes are dealt much more than we can handle. My prayers to you and your brother as well.

[disneylovinfamily]

Charleyann, I am sitting here with the chills--all I can say you will be in my thoughts and prayers. may God help you make it through these difficult days ahead. :grouphug:

[Maryr1]

My thoughts and prayers are with you.:grouphug:

[darlak]

I am so sorry. I lost a brother in June. You will be in my prayers. I do believe that God will help you through this.

[mommasita]

Charleyann,

I am just sending you more :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: , if and when you find the time, or want to check in, we are wondering how you are dealing..

[Belle1997]

I am so sorry for the lost of your brother. As a get older I see more and more tragic deaths. You never know when someone we love will be gone in a split second. All I can do is love as much as I can now. I am so sorry for your pain.

[Charleyann]

Charleyann,

I am just sending you more :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: , if and when you find the time, or want to check in, we are wondering how you are dealing..

Today my brothers body was released to the funeral home. I had to make funeral arrangement and go into my brother's home. It felt at times like someone was punching me in the guts. Tears came and went in waves. I was nauseated and thought I would pass out. I managed to pick out his final resting place and all that go along with it. I spoke to his friends he was with just minutes before his death. It helped. He died only a 1/4 miles away from home.

Going inside his home was very hard. I felt like I was intruding on his personal space and property. He was so very neat and cleaN. His shoes neatly lined up at the door waiting for him to come home and slip his feet in. His two beauitful dogs were taken to his friends. His oldest dog went nuts when he saw me. He was smelling my brother on me and he was whining to come with me. I feel horribly bad for them. I have to find homes for them and I know that will end in many tears and heartache. Those dogs were his life, his everything....

I made it today. It was hard ,but I am taking one minute at a time. My Uncle arrived from Hamilton, Ontario and is there to help move me along. I already miss my brother terribly. I feel like i is just a bad dream and I'll wake up. Visitation is tomorrow with funeral on Wednesday.

Thank you and hugs to everyone for your support,

Charley Ann and Jacob

[escape]

Charleyann - :hug:

Oh, wow! I am so very sorry. Words escape me right now. :hug: :hug: :hug:

Sending more prayers your way. May it give you some comfort to know that we are thinking about you doing this difficult time.

[poconoboatniks]

Charleyann, Prayers and pixie dust to you :wizard: I know it's not enough, but it's all I can send to you.

[MickeyCrazed]

I'm so sorry you have to face this horrible situation.

On top of everything else, I agree with you, that it will be heartbreaking to have to find homes for the dogs. Hopefully, one of his close friends will be able to take them in.

Wishing you lots of strength for this evening, tomorrow and the coming days. P&PD headed your way!

[CanadianGuy]

Oh Charleyann ... I'm so so so sorry..

BIG HUG....

Knox

[cabmom]

A prayer for you, I'm so sorry for your loss.

God, grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
the courage to change the things I can;
and the wisdom to know the difference.

[Cruiser1969]

Love and hugs and prayers for you:hug:

[Albertan mom]

Charleyann

May God give you strength at this difficult time.

We are here to listen to you and support you. Wish we could help you in person.
:grouphug:

[nosnobunny2006]

I am so sorry to hear this. I also had a year like you and the only piece of advice I can offer is to take one day or one minute at a time. You will get through this and one day it will be a bit better. It doesn't seem like that now but it will happen. :hug:

Beth

[maryliz]

I'm so sorry for your loss. Sending you lots of :hug: and since today is the funeral, I've said an extra prayer to send you strength.

May your memories comfort you and sustain you in the days ahead.

[mbb]

Oh Charleyann...:(
Thoughts and prayers for you, my friend...:grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug:

[Hodder]

Death is nothing at all
I have only slipped away into the next room
I am I and you are you
whatever we were to each other
that we still are
call me by my old familiar name
speak to me in the easy way
which you always used
put no difference in your tone
wear no forced air of solemnity or sorrow
laugh as we always laughed
at the little jokes we enjoyed together
pray smile, think of me, pray for me
Let my name be ever the household word
that it always was
Let it be spoken without effort
without the trace of a shadow in it
Life means all that it ever meant
it is the same as it ever was
there is unbroken continuity
why should I be out of mind
because I am out of sight?
I am waiting for you
somewhere very near
just around the corner
All is well

Henry Scott Holland
(1847-1918) Canon of St Paul's Cathedral

I know that when my mom was in palliative care I read a book that was of great comfort to me. It is called "The Next Place" by Warren Hanson. I read it at her funeral and when a family friend passed away I was asked to read it at his funeral. If you can find a copy it is very uplifting and comforting It was also great for my kids.

[darlak]

Just wanted to let you know that you've been in my thoughts today. In my prayers as well.

[lookingforward]

:grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: You are in my thoughts and prayers. I hope that you get the support you need from those around you. Your friends on these boards are here for you too.

[Little Miss Liberty]

:sad1: My prayers go out to you.

[Charleyann]

We made it through the funeral with the help of my uncle and Aunt, friends, prayers and support from everyone including my fellow Disers!

My brother was an engineer for McCain foods in their head plant in Florenceville, NB. He was a very smart man. He never bragged and he quickly climbed the ladder. He travelled with work to many places worldwide such as South Africa, Argentina, New Zealand, China , Portage and many other locations. He received many flower arrangements worldwide and I received many condenalces from people all over the world. Donations were made to the Cystic Fibrosis foundation and Children's Wish foundation of Canada for my son in my brother's memory....

Because my brother Bill was so quiet, he never spoke of his many accomplishments. I learned so much from in collegies about him during his final days here. He was well respected. McCain had to bring in a crisis team to help his co-workers deal with the shock of his sudden and tragic ending and sent out a worldwide memo of his passing. Everyone hurt and was shocked with me.

His Eulogy from Co -workers and friends made us both laugh and cry. What great tributes to such an amazing and talented young man! One great acheivement was the invention of the machine to make the curly fry! That idea was solely his...

He designed many plans for new plants and expanditions of others.

I draw comfort in knowing he died doing what he enjoyed doing most. He is also survived by his two dogs (his boys) Maverick and Boomer, Gordon Setters. They too are at a loss!

God Speed, sweet brother! He will forever remain in my heart....


Charley

[tinkertot]

I'm so sorry! My heart goes out to you. I only have one sibling and that is my brother. He and I are very close. My brother is 42 yrs.old and deaf. I can just imagine the pain you are going thru. God bless you and keep you strong!
I'll be praying for you.:sad1:

[MazdaUK]

So sad for you. No comfort for you, but whenever my DS(14) has curly fries I'll remind him to say a prayer for your brother:angel:

[Dancin Desert]

Charleyann,

My prayers are with you and your family. My brother is my closest friend, so I can't imagine the pain you're enduring.

Good luck.

Dave

[Adamm]

i am so sorry for your loss.

*virtual hug*

:love:

[kimis]

You are in my prayers. I have lost two brothers--one to non-hodgens lymphoma and the other in an accident. It isn't easy as you know. I know this time in your life you feel so alone but you aren't. You always have the people on this site praying for you and it will get you through.

[Disney Anna]

You are in my thoughts and prayers. You are strong. Stay strong. Take care of yourself. There is happiness ahead. Even though all of us may never meet, there is still love. Never forget that people care and there are people who will help you.:flower3:

[agnes!]

So sorry for your loss :hug: .

agnes!

[bigbabyblues]

I am so sorry for the loss of your brother. I can relate about your mom, my grandparents raised me, and my Grandma (mom to me since I was 3 months old) has been in a nursing home for 3 years with Alzheimer's. I hate that disease. She is 67 years old, and her symptoms started about 11 years ago.

[CarolynU]

There are no words that can compensate for your awful loss. I'm so glad that you made it through the funeral, and learnt so much good about your brother to add to what you already knew. I am so so sorry.

[Charleyann]

Today is just 4 months since my brother was buried. Today has been rough. Christmas songs bring tears because it reminds me of him at Christmas. My mom loss total recongition of us the night we found out my brother was killed (lucky for her , she didn't have to go through this) I've cried several times today.

Thank God I am going to Disney for Christmas. There is no way I could stay here. Friends are coming along and it will make the first Christmas without my brother more bearable. I wish the pain would go away.He is the first person I think of before I go to sleep and the first I think of when I wake. The way he died is hardest to swallow.

Please tell me this is normal. That it will go away or get easier? I thought after 4 months things would get better. I guess I need more time....

Thanks again for listening and your prayers

Charleyann:santa:

[frdeb1999]

Charleyann...Hope you have a wonderful time in Disney. You deffinately deserve some good times with all you've been through. I can tell you from first hand that it does get easier with time. Although it's never gone away. You are deffinately a strong person. My thoughts and prayers to you. :grouphug:

[angel*lady]

:grouphug:

[JudyS]

I am sorry for all that you are going through, Charleyann. I think going away for the holidays is a good idea. Don't put too much pressure on yourself and feel like you're supposed to feel great every minute just because you're at Disneyworld, though. Just let Disney be a pleasant distraction and enjoy whatever magical moments come your way.

As for how long it takes to heal, I've often heard that the whole first year can be very hard. The first holiday season with the person you lost, the first birthday without them -- it's all tough. But, it does get easier with time. When I lost my mom, it was maybe two years before life reached its new equilibrium.

[dee47]

Charleyann,

:grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug:

One thing I remember from my hospice work is that, according to studies, UNCOMPLICATED grief takes about a year (on average) to resolve. I think in your case, with your mom's AD and your child's CF, your grief is anything but uncomplicated. So really, there is no timetable. Just take each day as it comes. It's great that you're going to WDW, though you'll have intense grief moments there, I'm sure. When I lost my beloved grandma, we went to WDW on a planned vacation only 3 weeks after she died. I broke down during Fantasy in the Sky (I think that's what it was in 2000, but it's all a blur). I just felt her loss so intensely when I looked at the fireworks, I don't know why. So you may have some triggers there as well. Just allow yourself to grieve. It will get easier, but not right away.

[Charleyann]

Charleyann,

:grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug:

One thing I remember from my hospice work is that, according to studies, UNCOMPLICATED grief takes about a year (on average) to resolve. I think in your case, with your mom's AD and your child's CF, your grief is anything but uncomplicated. So really, there is no timetable. Just take each day as it comes. It's great that you're going to WDW, though you'll have intense grief moments there, I'm sure. When I lost my beloved grandma, we went to WDW on a planned vacation only 3 weeks after she died. I broke down during Fantasy in the Sky (I think that's what it was in 2000, but it's all a blur). I just felt her loss so intensely when I looked at the fireworks, I don't know why. So you may have some triggers there as well. Just allow yourself to grieve. It will get easier, but not right away.

And started crying some in the store. I understand your intense moments.I was buying for my mom and the thought came over me that I should be buying for my brother. A friend made a beautiful neckless and earrings for my mother from my brother for Christmas. My biggest fear is that my mom will have lucid moment at Christmas and not receiving anything from my brother will hurt and confuse her (she doesn't know he was killed) I had to do this for me too. Something needs to be there from my brother....

[darlak]

My baby brother (37) died in June after his battle with cancer. I still miss him every day, but I'm beginning to realize that the times when I think of him everyday are now more often warm and bittersweet than grief-filled and heart-wrenching. That's not to say that I don't still have those heart-wrenching moments though. Just less and less as time is going by.

That is also how I remember the grief process being after the death of my parents. This will be my 6th Christmas since the death of my mother and I still feel an emptiness at our holiday table. I feel it when I'm trying to prepare the holiday dishes that I will never make as well as she did and I feel it when we're opening presents on Christmas morning. This was her favorite time of year. I will never stop missing her, but I can take joy now in remembering her. We can laugh about some of her antics, but still cry when we remember our loss. These days, we spend more time smiling and laughing than crying.

This Christmas will be hard, but the next will be just a little better and they will continue getting easier over time. I'm keeping you in my prayers.

[safetymom]

Christmas is a tough time if you have lost a loved one. My mother died in December. When we went to the house we found the Christmas presents she had bought for us. She will always be in my heart but I sure do miss her.

Just remember to be good to yourself and it will pass.

Disney is a great place to be to remember your loved ones at Christmas.

[lookingforward]

And started crying some in the store. I understand your intense moments.I was buying for my mom and the thought came over me that I should be buying for my brother. A friend made a beautiful neckless and earrings for my mother from my brother for Christmas. My biggest fear is that my mom will have lucid moment at Christmas and not receiving anything from my brother will hurt and confuse her (she doesn't know he was killed) I had to do this for me too. Something needs to be there from my brother....

:grouphug: You are in my thoughts and prayers. Perhaps you can sign your name and your brothers name to your mother's gift so she won't be confused when she opens it.

I am so glad you are going to WDW with friends for the holidays. I hope you get the space and comfort there that you need. :grouphug:

[Charleyann]

Christmas is a tough time if you have lost a loved one. My mother died in December. When we went to the house we found the Christmas presents she had bought for us. She will always be in my heart but I sure do miss her.

Just remember to be good to yourself and it will pass.

Disney is a great place to be to remember your loved ones at Christmas.


Especially near Christmas. I think I would have trouble with Christmas after that. You are strong! Thank you for the comforting words.

Charleyann:grouphug:

[safetymom]

Thank you Charleyann. I can remember my late husband being so worried about how I was going to handle life without my mother. She died in Dec. He died in April just months later. He was only 47.

Then several years after that I was in the hospital over Christmas with a blood clot in my entire left leg. The scary part of that is my late husband died from a blood clot when the Dr. screwed up his surgery. My kids were worried to death that I was going to die.

So now I always feel really bad for those that have lost a loved one because you are faced with all those family memories. I also feel so bad for those folks in a hospital that can't spend the holiday with their family.

So this is the season of the year I like to do lots of random acts of kindness towards someone else. When I can do something to put a smile on someones face it warms my heart.

[Charleyann]

Thank you Charleyann. I can remember my late husband being so worried about how I was going to handle life without my mother. She died in Dec. He died in April just months later. He was only 47.

Then several years after that I was in the hospital over Christmas with a blood clot in my entire left leg. The scary part of that is my late husband died from a blood clot when the Dr. screwed up his surgery. My kids were worried to death that I was going to die.

So now I always feel really bad for those that have lost a loved one because you are faced with all those family memories. I also feel so bad for those folks in a hospital that can't spend the holiday with their family.

So this is the season of the year I like to do lots of random acts of kindness towards someone else. When I can do something to put a smile on someones face it warms my heart.

You too have had your share of heartache! So sorry for your husbands death at such a young age.

My DS who has CF and juvenile rheumatoid arthritis, two years ago developed a large mass on his foot growing up his ankle. Doctors thought it was cancer. I didn't think I would make it through that. I knew CF, amputation, chemo and all else would surely spell death. My dad had just passed away from lung cancer. It ended up being a synovial tumor (benign) caused by arthritis. They found this out after surgery and after biopsy. He lost endurance to this, but he lives. Last fall he was attacked by a rottie and almost killed. He was in hospital for days....

It seems otherwhelming sometimes. However, if I look around and can gain some perspective, I know there is someone else out there who is worse off then me. This keeps me going.

God Bless you all for listening. Yesterday was a hard day. AS you can tell from the post, I didn't sleep much. Today was better.

Charleyann:santa:

[safetymom]

Charleyann, thank you for posting your feelings. It really does help to write it down.

I learned to take life minutes at a time. Sometimes even that was overwhelming. Every day you have a fresh start to try all over again. I took lots and lots of baby steps and sometimes even stepped backward to get to where I am today.

I am here to listen anytime you want to "talk".

[Chuck-PA]

My wife and I are a bit tired of hearing "God only gives you what you can handle"
We also have a son who has CF. He is 19 now. Every time he gets a cold, we worry how much lung damage will this cause. We worry about how many good years do we have left. We do create lots of great memories with him. He has a feeding tube. Life is harder with him having his own mind too and that ole invincible feeling. Those "arguments" are always fun.

I have MS, neurocardiogenic syncope (passing out), sleep apnea, anxiety,
prostate trouble, and as of a week ago, Pulmonary Hypertension (high blood pressure in the lungs and fluid retention in the body and limbs). It is a disease that CF'ers die from.

My wife was just diagnosed last week with extremely high blood pressure.
I wonder why?...lol..... no stress here dealing with all the ailments is there?

My wife lost her father last year to cancer, diagnosed and gone in one week's time.

The best way we have dealt with each diagnose or each little speed bump in life is with laughter. We find the humor or a funnly moment in the past and laugh about it. If not, I am sure we all would be moping and crying 24/7.

Our thoughts are with you....if you would like to share your experiences with CF, we are here for you. Since there are so few people with the disease, you may feel all alone at times.

Have a great time at Disney.
Chuck and Joanne

[Charleyann]

My wife and I are a bit tired of hearing "God only gives you what you can handle"
We also have a son who has CF. He is 19 now. Every time he gets a cold, we worry how much lung damage will this cause. We worry about how many good years do we have left. We do create lots of great memories with him. He has a feeding tube. Life is harder with him having his own mind too and that ole invincible feeling. Those "arguments" are always fun.

I have MS, neurocardiogenic syncope (passing out), sleep apnea, anxiety,
prostate trouble, and as of a week ago, Pulmonary Hypertension (high blood pressure in the lungs and fluid retention in the body and limbs). It is a disease that CF'ers die from.

My wife was just diagnosed last week with extremely high blood pressure.
I wonder why?...lol..... no stress here dealing with all the ailments is there?

My wife lost her father last year to cancer, diagnosed and gone in one week's time.

The best way we have dealt with each diagnose or each little speed bump in life is with laughter. We find the humor or a funnly moment in the past and laugh about it. If not, I am sure we all would be moping and crying 24/7.

Our thoughts are with you....if you would like to share your experiences with CF, we are here for you. Since there are so few people with the disease, you may feel all alone at times.

Have a great time at Disney.
Chuck and Joanne

When you can see what others go through....life is not so bad! Your family too has had it's share of heartache and trouble! You got to wonder why we are dealt so much with all that is on our plate! Thanks for listening to my poor pity me day. I have picked myself up and dusted me off and I am set for another day!

God Bless you and your family. I hope your son's CF stays good for years to come!

Charleyann:santa:

[FSUDisneyGirl]

Charleyann,

I am sorry for all you are going through. I know the feeling of everything around you just being too much to handle. I'm sure you will get through this. I will be praying for you!:hug:

[Trish Bessette]

I am so sorry for what you are going through. Prayers said to give you strength!

[kdzgon]

My wife and I are a bit tired of hearing "God only gives you what you can handle"...

Yes, kind of sounds like "wow...sure glad I'm not you!" many times when people say it, no?

Truth is sometimes life s*cks, bottom line. Yes, there is always someone worse off than us, but many times it sure seems like there are lots more better off, too! Hey, we all need the freedom for an occasional "pity party" as long as we don't let it take over our lives. Here's hoping you found some relief in not forcing yourselves to be completely responsible overstressed individuals, and that brief respite (where you allow yourself to actually acknowledge how tough some days can be) will help you shoulder your daily responsibilities going forward.

We all need "mental health" days now and again, and the best path to allowing ourselves that recharging may well be an occasional "pity party", no matter how brief.

[Charleyann]

A year ago today I lost my only brother in a Tornado in Glassville, NB. It was a terrible night with a freak thunderstorm, intense lightening, hail and strong winds followed by a Tornado. My brother was driving home on his 4 wheeler from a friends camp when he got caught in that freak storm. A path of tree either hit him or he hit them. Police, cornors office couldn't figure it out.

His body wasn't found for almost 24 hrs. He lived awhile. I am haunted by that fact and pray he didn't suffer and he was knocked unconscious. Hurts to think he suffered and that he died alone and scared!

Tonight it is storming. We have severe thunder and lightening. Just driving me crazy enough. Remembering. Why the HE** does it have to storm tonight on the anniversary of my brothers death?

Geez, cruel sick joke! ......Where is GOD?


Charleyann

[annie1995]

:hug: All I can offer for comfort is a hug. I am so very sorry you are having to go through this tonight

[kimis]

Hi Charleyann
I am sorry for this horrible time you are going through. I have lost two brothers (one to cancer and the other to an accident). I miss them terribly. But for me I couldn't have made it without God and a lot of prayers.
I promise you that you are in my prayers. Remember God doesn't play sick jokes but He does give you friends. You have a lot of friends here who will pray for you and send you pixie dust. Hang in there.

[dee47]

Charleyann,

I am thinking of you tonight. I hope your pain eases as the storm passes.

[nannerbadnanner]

:hug:

[BETTYDISNEY]

Charleyann:

Maybe this storm was a way of him letting you knopw he is still with you and always will be:hug: :hug: :hug:

[buckeyebill1995]

My grandfather took a part time job at the local cemetary to give him something to do (he'd been retired for several years). We all asked him not to, but his buddy was working there as a groundskeeper and said not to worry. A week later he was backing up a commercial tractor to dump brush off a ravine and the ground gave way. He flew 30-40 feet and then the tractor fell on top of him. He didn't break a single bone. He was trapped under the tractor for hours while they tried to get it off of him and he suffocated to death. He was an Irish immigrant and we buried him about 100 feet from the scene of the accident on Saint Patrick's Day. It also happened to be almost exactly two years from when we had buried my stepmother, who was killed by a runaway horse at the racetrack she worked at. Less than a year after my grandfather's death we buried my aunt from complications from surgery.

People told us the same thing -- God doesn't give you more than you can handle. Bull! Yes, we 'handled' it. I planned every funeral, made all the arrangements. The funeral director and I are on a first name basis. But the scars it leaves on your heart and the pain of the loss are undescribable. I know people only say that because they don't know what else to say, but it's one of those things that just doesn't help.

My heart goes out to you!!! You are in my prayers that sunnier days are ahead.