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View Full Version : And so the complaints begin...


lurkyloo
08-01-2007, 11:49 AM
Well, we've begun breaking the news to people that we're getting married at Walt Disney World, and so far we're 0 for 2. From my dad we got stony silence. From my brother (who I'd asked to be my attendant) we got "you couldn't have picked any place more inconvenient/nobody will come." (This is the man who got married in The Middle of Nowhere, Maine and didn't invite anybody from his family - just college buddies).

Help! I need some virtual hand-holding.... :sad2:

Tabetha
08-01-2007, 11:53 AM
Good thing it's not THEIR wedding, right?

Not everyone loves Disney, so its going to sound weird to some. Just keep your chin up. You know you're going to have a beautiful wedding, and those that are smart enough to come will love it.

Inconvenient? Yeah, a city with two airports and a gajillion hotel rooms is super-inconvenient.

yearbook50
08-01-2007, 12:01 PM
Keep smiling, the negative people like to respond first it seems.

It's your wedding. Do what makes you happy. You only get the wedding of your dreams once :D

when my fiance and I first decided on a disney wedding, we broke the news at a dinner with his extended famil, the first thing his aunt said "i hate disney world" the only comment back at the time was "well, we like disney and thats where we are going to have it" his mother also got up from her chair and started dancing b/c she "finally gets to see the mouse"

NJBride2Be
08-01-2007, 12:07 PM
We actually changed our plans because our family reacted so poorly to us announcing a Disney wedding. Then we realized that we were never going to make even the majority of our families happy (we picked 5 locations). We are back to Disney. Plan what you want and they will come if they!

Disneygirl0259
08-01-2007, 12:18 PM
Yea this will be your one big day dont let anybody ruin it and make you feel bad

Dreamer24
08-01-2007, 12:30 PM
Well, we've begun breaking the news to people that we're getting married at Walt Disney World, and so far we're 0 for 2. From my dad we got stony silence. From my brother (who I'd asked to be my attendant) we got "you couldn't have picked any place more inconvenient/nobody will come." (This is the man who got married in The Middle of Nowhere, Maine and didn't invite anybody from his family - just college buddies).

Help! I need some virtual hand-holding.... :sad2:

I know I am going to run into the same problems! It's your special day and you are the only one who is going to remember every detail of it so do what makes you happy!

CdnDisneyBride08
08-01-2007, 12:31 PM
Yea this will be your one big day dont let anybody ruin it and make you feel bad

Ditto! Your wedding is about you and your FH, no one else. No matter what you pick, there's alway someone who is going to complain. In 20 years you don't want to look back on your wedding and wish that you had stuck with your original plans. Go with your gut. If Disney is going to make the two of your happy, then that's all that matters.

ecoon
08-01-2007, 12:40 PM
I had a lot of mixed fellings about disney and if people would be upset. The 1st thing my FMIL said was.."oh, I will be sure to send a card" but we went through with it anyway and now she is really coming (She would never admit it but I think she is looking forward to it!):rolleyes: Do what you want and the people who really matter and really care about you will show up. As for the others...would you really want to spend your big day with them anyway?

Janell
08-01-2007, 12:57 PM
Keep smiling. Its your wedding. All that matter is what you and your DF want. We had some trouble with people wanting it to be in Ca and not in Fl. But they had to just get over it.

See we live in Ca and my DF family lives in Canada. So his family wanted to come here. Well thats not where the wedding is and thats why DF told them.

Keep your head up high, don't let them get to you and do what you want. Its your day.

Glorydaz
08-01-2007, 12:57 PM
follow your heart - in the end, it's you and your husband so do what will make the two of you happy! lots of the brides here are doing very small ceremonies with just themselves and a couple of family members - a few are even just having themselves! and then you could have a post wedding celebration for all those who couldn't join you if you'd like. many of us (me included) are following that path...

like I said - follow your heart :hug:

Michelle :cloud9:

Emwit27
08-01-2007, 01:11 PM
I got a very similar response from FIL's. But it has worked out...and they are all coming. In fact, I think my FSIL is actually excited about coming to Disney!

It is your wedding and you should follow your dreams. Your family/friends will come around and you will have a magical day!

myprincessgirlisa
08-01-2007, 01:23 PM
Dont get discouraged!!!!

coming from a bride that had only 2 other people attend,,...its not about the party, its about the couple;)

Plan it like i did.....if they come, they come...either way im gonna have a great time....& we did

i hope it gets better & maybe its just the initial shock...maybe they will come around...GL

Mermaid_Ariel
08-01-2007, 01:34 PM
I'm getting mixed reviews about it, too. But, my family is starting to come around. Just remember it's your special day and you two should do it for you guys! It's nice to celebrate with family but I say HMPH to those naysayers! :goodvibes :hug:

AbbyPan
08-01-2007, 02:06 PM
Getting mixed reveiws and people changing their minds is the norm for a dftw.

But stick to your guns!!! I think many of us have turned a blind eye to what family/member and friends think because we know they will smirk and critisize no matter where our wedding is.

Tip: remind them that you'd really like them to make a family vacation out of it, and a destination wedding will be a great way to do that.:thumbsup2

ITmickey
08-01-2007, 02:12 PM
I totally understand you. When I told my uncle our plans, he just said 'You should better get married on a cruise, by the captain' :snooty: . So, I guess I'll just NOT invite him :)
We are planing an escape wedding, so anyway we'll keep the guests to a minumum :rolleyes1

soontobebride
08-01-2007, 02:13 PM
just think this is your day and nobody elses. It is something that you will remember for the rest of your life and nobody should make you feel guilty. My fiances sister and neice aren't coming to our disney wedding and he is devastated but he said that there is no way he is going to stop it.

Do what you want and how you want it, don't let people (family or friends) tell you what you should be doing.

BayouPrincess
08-01-2007, 02:26 PM
lurkyloo,

Stick to your guns, those that dis the mouse have not truly experienced the magic of Disney. This is your wedding and if the mouse is what you want, then I say by all means, go and get it! I will be getting the same reaction from my family for my VR next year. They think Disney is "just for kids" I keep arguing with them to no avail. I figure it's their loss. They seem to think Mickey himself is going to perform the ceremony. :confused3

Just plan your wedding, your way, and soak all the moments in.:grouphug:

hmgolden
08-01-2007, 02:30 PM
Lurkyloo - virtual hugs are coming your way! I hope they come around. Good luck!

charl
08-01-2007, 02:30 PM
its your wedding day so do want you want to do and dont worry about anyone else, its yours and fh day

mo1973
08-01-2007, 02:39 PM
I just never understand that. Weddings aren't planned for guests- it's about a couple! As the others have said- plan what you want, where you want- if folks come great, if not, not much you can do about it.

Hugs!!

lurkyloo
08-01-2007, 03:37 PM
Oh my gosh! Thank you ALL for your sweet words of encouragement! I feel better already. :goodvibes

You are right - we need to do what we want or we will always regret it. I used to say the same thing to brides in similar predicaments. It's just so hard to maintain perspective when it happens to you!

So, thank you all! And if nobody says they'll come, I'll be opening up the invitations to all my friends on the DIS :rotfl:

AbbyPan
08-01-2007, 04:18 PM
Oh my gosh! Thank you ALL for your sweet words of encouragement! I feel better already. :goodvibes

You are right - we need to do what we want or we will always regret it. I used to say the same thing to brides in similar predicaments. It's just so hard to maintain perspective when it happens to you!

So, thank you all! And if nobody says they'll come, I'll be opening up the invitations to all my friends on the DIS :rotfl:

you laugh now...but we'lll be waiting...:rolleyes1

Glorydaz
08-01-2007, 04:22 PM
you laugh now...but we'lll be waiting...:rolleyes1


:rotfl2: :rotfl2: I'm there!!! :rotfl2:

Michelle :cloud9:

AbbyPan
08-01-2007, 04:34 PM
lurkyloo-That's 2 people already. Sorry guys but Michelle and I got first dibbs
:dancer:

lurkyloo
08-01-2007, 04:46 PM
lurkyloo-That's 2 people already. Sorry guys but Michelle and I got first dibbs
:dancer:

Whohoo! Now...who wants to help me fill my room block? :lmao:

yearbook50
08-01-2007, 05:41 PM
Whohoo! Now...who wants to help me fill my room block? :lmao:

If i get an invite ;)

Although I may still be there depending on your date

Error_kitten
08-01-2007, 09:07 PM
Oh don't worry.
We had a lot of people being PITA's about us getting married at disney and honestly GOOD!
*laughs* Less people to feed, cheeper the wedding, more money for the honeymoon.
hehehehehe
Also you would be surprised how many people show.
We invited about 200 and 100 attended.
I know living in Fl probably has a lot to do with it but oh well.

figmentfan814
08-01-2007, 09:19 PM
We had the same problem except the only people objecting are my DF's mother's family. Anyway, I thought this might be helpful. It's the text that we put in our first newsletter that we sent out once we told people about our wedding.

"Kris and Vanessa understand that there are a lot of questions concerning the
wedding. Since both have small immediate families they decided that a big
wedding was not for them. They wanted to have time to spend with their
closest family and friends in the days leading up to the wedding.
The destination was chosen as a convenient location that is affordable for
travel. Whether their guests want to enjoy golf, water sports, shopping, or
theme parks Orlando is one of the entertainment meccas of the world.

The Walt Disney Resort (WDW) was chosen for its superior level of service
to its guests. The resort itself is completely self-contained and is 47 square
miles. Guests will not need a rental car since free transportation is provided
to and from the Orlando International Airport. In addition, each hotel features
a food court, restaurant, and several include room service options.
The entire resort is the size of Manhattan and is completely self-contained.
Guests can choose to spend the entire weekend within the resort area without ever venturing into Orlando.

The wedding weekend will provide a relaxing get away for all of the guests
and will give everyone a time to bond and to have a good time prior to the
big day!"

pooh98378
08-01-2007, 11:23 PM
:grouphug: It will be ok!

FMIL at first was not very happy about a DFTW -- she almost started crying!! We had mentioned that we were thinking about doing it and she always said to do whatever we wanted, but when we actually told her we were having one, she was upset. FFIL was also not happy. We think it was because none of his family (brother and sister) would be able to come. Of course, DF said that was a good thing about having it at WDW. :rotfl: Now, however, they are both REALLY REALLY excited about it.

On a side note, we just got our BEO today. It wasn't that bad actually (especially after we cut some stuff out). As I was going through it, I was thinking wow, look at all this cool stuff I can get for the same price as having a wedding at home! This is awesome!

I'm sure everything will work out!

DisneyFairy19
08-02-2007, 09:12 AM
Remember its YOUR WEDDING.. You do what you want... If some ppl cant come... Loss for them for not being able to be apart of your special day..Dont let ppl put you down about the most WONDERFUL day of your life

MickeyNicki
08-02-2007, 09:31 AM
I kinds know what you are going through...my sister in law wanted to have her 2009 wedding in WDW but her mother told her it was childish, selfish, unsophisticated and too far away for everyone to travel.

Can you believe the nerve of some people??? She has still not decided what she wants to do. I hope she puts her foot down so we can go and see a WDW wedding for ourselves! I think it is a fantastic place to hold a wedding and I wish we had done so.

TheLastPrincess
08-02-2007, 10:02 AM
Why, why when you mention Disney, somebody has to go and rain on your Disney Parade?! :confused3

"You cannot please everyone, so stop trying."

"This is YOUR (you and your husband's) day."

Some advice I got when I was planning my wedding (not AT Disney, but Disney-themed). You would not believe the collective "groan" I heard when I told people there was going to be some Disney-inspired elements at our wedding. When it comes to Disney, people will always use this as ammo to make fun of my DH and I. I used to be so self-conscious about it that I wouldn't tell anyone anything at all. But then I realized I didn't need their approval. It was so liberating! Now when people go all Anti-Disney on me, I make sure I flaunt it in their face when I'm around in a happy-go-lucky sort of way, all innocent-like.:angel: If Disney makes you happy, go for it!!!!!

lurkyloo
08-03-2007, 02:31 AM
Thanks for the encouragement you guys! We told DF's parents tonight and they seemed really excited, so that helps! But so far nobody we've invited gets President's Day off - the whole reason we picked that holiday was so people would only need to take the Tuesday off work.

Now I'm thinking we should switch to Martin Luther King Jr. Day, but that would put us only 5 months out from the wedding :scared:

What do you think? Am I still too worried about accommodating everyone?

disprincessatheart
08-03-2007, 12:55 PM
Thanks for the encouragement you guys! We told DF's parents tonight and they seemed really excited, so that helps! But so far nobody we've invited gets President's Day off - the whole reason we picked that holiday was so people would only need to take the Tuesday off work.

Now I'm thinking we should switch to Martin Luther King Jr. Day, but that would put us only 5 months out from the wedding :scared:

What do you think? Am I still too worried about accommodating everyone?

Choosing a day to keep people from having to take extra days off work is a better thing than changing locations to please people. I'd be surprised though if there was much open on MLK as I'd think other people might have had the same idea. You could always check on that and then talk to DF about it.
My only thought would be - for our wedding, almost everyone that was coming was making a week long trip out of it, so it wouldnt' have mattered. Ask some of the peopel that have responded positively and see if they think they might stay longer than a long weekend.

Glorydaz
08-03-2007, 02:01 PM
Thanks for the encouragement you guys! We told DF's parents tonight and they seemed really excited, so that helps! But so far nobody we've invited gets President's Day off - the whole reason we picked that holiday was so people would only need to take the Tuesday off work.

Now I'm thinking we should switch to Martin Luther King Jr. Day, but that would put us only 5 months out from the wedding :scared:

What do you think? Am I still too worried about accommodating everyone?

I love how considerate you are trying to be for the sake of everyone else. but like I said before, bottom line is you should go ahead with what you and your DF are most comfortable with. we really rocked the boat with deciding to get married on Halloween of this year which by the way falls on a Wednesday. my sister is still saying to everyone "can you believe she's getting married on a Wednesday??!!" and then laughing. but the truth of the matter is WE wanted to get married on Halloween and if no one would have been able to attend, we still would be getting married on Halloween! because for the rest of our lives, that is our wedding anniversary... we gave our invitees plenty of notice and they are all attending. I even have 3 teachers who are taking time off in the middle of the week to attend.

so take heart, sit and talk with your DF and decide what is best for you both...sending you both lots of pixiedust: and :cheer2: !

Michelle :cloud9:

Ticky Toria 78
08-03-2007, 06:55 PM
Just do what makes you both happy! We only had a few guests, and it was a truly magical day! Happy planning:thumbsup2

BayouPrincess
08-05-2007, 11:00 AM
lurkyloo,

You are such a sweetie! :goodvibes You are working so hard to accomodate everyone else, just don't forget to accomodate you and DH. I know it's wonderful to be surrounded by family and friends on your wedding day, but that day is about you and your DF.

Best wishes for your planning to go smoothly!:goodvibes

Tabetha
08-05-2007, 03:06 PM
I'd do yourselves and your guests a favour, and stick with your date.
You don't want to feel rushed, your hotel rooms will be cheaper, and the parks will be much less busy if you avoid President's day.

rockstargeisha
08-06-2007, 02:05 AM
Many people have pre-conceived ideas that Disneyworld is just for kids. They think it's just characters and the theme parks. Do remind your guests it's so much more than that and has all the amenities a regular resort would offer as well. As other's have mentioned though it's your day and your wedding, make it what you want regardless of what others think. Some may have negative things to say at first but I'm sure after a vacation to the World for your special day they will feel differently. Best of luck! :)

Seven Seas Lagoon
08-26-2007, 11:05 PM
OMG, we did the same thing! We picked Disney Escape, then realized how disappointed everyone was, then started to plan a huge wedding for everyone but ourselves. It became so stressful....we thought about how much worse it was just going to get. We wanted it to just be about us, and anyone who wants to come can come. We decided some of our best times were at Disney, and that's were we are planning our wedding now, thank goodness! I can't wait!

padisneyfour
08-27-2007, 07:10 AM
Your wedding should be about you and your fh. Plan what the two of you want and enjoy - years from now it will be the two of you celebrating that day( not everyone else).It should be what you want- your fairy tale whatever shape of form that takes.

Handbag Lady
08-27-2007, 04:48 PM
I don't understand why people think they can tell a bride or even have a comment (unrequested) on the venue.

Would anyone complain to a bride if she choose a chapel, or a park, or the family home? No.

So there. Do what you want and have a grand time.

smoof
08-27-2007, 06:08 PM
It really hurts when it is your dad and brother who are upset about where you choose to have your wedding. Most everyone else is going to be thrilled with it. You will make lots of family and friends very happy. I hope that helps.

lurkyloo
08-27-2007, 07:20 PM
It really hurts when it is your dad and brother who are upset about where you choose to have your wedding. Most everyone else is going to be thrilled with it. You will make lots of family and friends very happy. I hope that helps.

Thank you - that's really sweet! You're right - I'm trying to not let my dad and brother's opinions bother me, but... they're my two closest family members, so it hurts that they can't accept my choice!

I'm just clinging to the knowledge that they're going to have a fantastic time once they get out to Disney World! :cutie:

MOB07
08-28-2007, 07:18 PM
My daughter and son-in-law were married at Disney in July. When they were planning, everyone was complaining about where they were having the wedding. They met there on the college program 2 yrs ago. Hang in there, because on the bus returning from the epcot dessert party, people were thanking us for inviting them to the wedding . People came from California, Indiana, Michigan, and Oklahoma. We've received notes telling us how much they appreciated being able to come to the wedding, and all the people who were complaining at first, came and enjoyed themselves. Give them time, and help them with details about room discounts, tickets, and activities they can use to have a vacation while they are there. Don't spend another minute stressing.:)

StitchBride
08-29-2007, 08:45 AM
We didn't have anyone complain (or, at least, not to my face) My parents at first made a passing comment that we should look at local locations as well, but never followed through (mainly since they figured we were set) and my father kind of "poo poo'd" the whole thing but I just wanted to second MOB's thoughts....after the wedding, we recieved multiple phone calls, emails, and letters about how it was the best wedding they had been to, they had such a great time, etc. And my father, the day after the wedding, was talking to people in the elevator at the GF telling them if their daughter wanted a Disney wedding, they should go for it and telling them what a great job Disney did....so hang in there! They'll all come around in the end (just try not to say I TOLD YOU SO!!! too loud :rotfl2: )

diswed0407
08-30-2007, 05:45 PM
I had pretty much the same experience. My dad told me he wasn't coming, and my DH's parents were shocked and angry that we would expect everyone to travel from RI for the wedding. But we ended up with 75 people there, and everyone who went said it was the absolute best wedding they've ever been to. After the wedding, my DH's parents admitted they were wrong, and that everything was wonderful. And to top it all off, the wedding was over 4 months ago, and I think my dad has talked to me about it (and thanked me for inviting him!!!) in every phone conversation since. SO, just deal with it for now, and they will all get over it. And believe me, everyone will end up coming and a lot of people will make a vacation out of it. We had people saving for over a year so they could take the vacation!!

caryndisneydiva
09-04-2007, 09:13 PM
my family freaked out at first, but my fiance and i met while we were working at disney, so there was no way i was having it anywhere else!!! i think everyone is warming up to it now, and starting to make plans for a winter vacation (date is in jan 08) we all have to remember, as i keep telling my mother, that this is OUR wedding...our parents already had theirs!

cavecricket
09-06-2007, 11:02 AM
This is pretty much why we decided on an intimate.

We got dirty looks and snotty remarks from the first few people we told.

I would rather spend 4K-10K on a close circle of friends that really want to be there then waste the money on a bunch of cynical jerks. (having family issues over here lol)

Although I would love the whole reception experience in Disney, as long as I am married there, I will be very happy. Besides, why waste time at a reception, when we could be in the parks instead having a blast!

By downsizing the guest list to 18, we free up lot of cash for other special touches, massages, tours, etc

Good luck with whatever you decide to do but in my opinion, the intimate is the better choice, leaves more time and money for the rest of WDW!

mammasgirls
09-06-2007, 07:56 PM
Hi everyone...thanks to all of you who reported that despite less than enthusiastic responses to the idea of a Disney wedding, in the end the guests had a wonderful time. You have made me feel so much better. My daughter wants a Disney wedding, and I've been concerned that it is a lot to ask of people to travel for it (everyone is from the northest or Japan). I know in my heart that it will be fantastic, and personally if it was one of my nieces or nephews, I would be the first to RSVP!

Xiarra
09-08-2007, 09:40 PM
Well, we've begun breaking the news to people that we're getting married at Walt Disney World, and so far we're 0 for 2. From my dad we got stony silence. From my brother (who I'd asked to be my attendant) we got "you couldn't have picked any place more inconvenient/nobody will come." (This is the man who got married in The Middle of Nowhere, Maine and didn't invite anybody from his family - just college buddies).

Help! I need some virtual hand-holding.... :sad2:

Just hang in there!!!!

You know, my parents weren't big on Disney either although they were supportive because they knew it was what I wanted:goodvibes ... but guess what happened... when the got there THEY LOVED IT!!!! Said it couldn't have been any better and it was perfect :love: !!!! In fact they still talk about how they thought it was the perfect wedding! Awww.... don't you just love parents :cloud9: !

They loved it soooooo much that we are going back as a family in 13 days ;) !