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aroyer
07-28-2007, 09:59 PM
Ok, I am about to be in my final week of work! :cool1: So I am trying to start wrapping my head around being home with the kids 24/7. So all you SAHMs I need some tips! What works, what doesn't- I know everyone is different, but it helps to see the pluses and minuses. I was a SAHM with my DD until she was 3 1/2 so I have some knowledge, but it has been 4 years!! TIA!

PrincessNancy96
07-28-2007, 10:03 PM
Just have fun!!!
Try to get a little bit of a routine in places but allow for changes because they will always happen!!!
Pick a day and do a special lunch with your kids outside of the home, be it a picnic at the park every now and again!
I'll think some more on it... I've been a SAHM for 11 years now and LOVE IT!!
Somethings have become so natural around here that I don't even think about it when we do it!
I do have special time for each one of my kids every night!!!

Diana Lyn
07-29-2007, 07:28 AM
I've been a SAHM for 4 years now and LOVE it.

The biggest thing I'd say is try to stay busy, just sitting around you'll lose your patience and your mind! We go on a lot of outings--to the park, to the museum, playgroups.

Like Nancy said, develop a routine, but don't turn it into a schedule and you'll be fine!

mumom95
07-29-2007, 09:40 PM
My biggest piece of advice is to join some kind of MOMS Club or something. The kids will love it, and the adult interaction you will find is a life saver. Just do a google search for MOMS Club, your city (Moms Offering Moms Support) and you should be able to find one in your area.

mommy2mrb
07-30-2007, 01:16 AM
Congratulations!! I have never regreted my decision to be a SAHM have been for 8 years this month since I got preggers w/DD and love it.

DD is starting 2nd grade in two weeks. I am room mom once a week, plan their parties for the year, help in class and the teacher doing whatever needs to be done. I also started working in the school library once a week last year and will do so again this year and am taking over our "SuperStars" assembly by being the "prize mom" (buying and setting up the prizes for the kids who went above and beyond that month).

I was involve with the Mom's club for years until DD went into kindergarten, its great with your younger child, but I think once they go into school most mom's leave due to school activities.

My day's go pretty quick between all the household duties, errands, DISsing, and scrapping when I can. DD is also taking dance class two nights a week and CCD once a week. I do try to have a day each month that do nothing except for me to recharge, its usually my pedi day or getting a h-cut.

I am kind of going back to work for DH as he just started up in own biz, but it shouldn't be more than a few hours a week doing paperwork, etc and errands.

My advise for summer or school breaks, schedule some down time for everyone each day. This summer we did the library each week, one playdate a week, art camp at Michael's for a couple of days, lunch out for special treat days, swimming and park and had a mom/daughter day with mani/pedi's lunch and shopping for school clothes.

Most of all :dance3: :hug: :laughing: and know your fellow SAHM are here for those :headache: days!

Lisa

DisneyMommyMichelle
07-30-2007, 01:49 PM
hahaha i'm guess I'm the only one that is in favor of the schedule :) It works for me perfectly! It gets all the housework done, gives us play time, nap time, outing time and time to make meals. I LOVE IT! I live by my schedule and i always allow room for pop-ups and such and i'm totally flexible, but it allows me to know what to do when :)

Mine is even Super Nanny Style in a check list and everything! :laughing:

I'm also a list maker that is running a small home business too, so i really need to manage my time or else i would get nothing done. :)

Welcome to the worold of SAHMs! It's crazy, and so much fun!! :hug:

Queenie
07-30-2007, 02:49 PM
I'd love to see your schedule Michelle, I keep trying to organise one but never seem to do it. My only rules are laundry on Mondays, ironing on Wednesdays, works as i don't have kids yet.

Glad to see lots of happy SAHMs here, I get strange looks from my friends when they hear that's my plan and my mum and sister keep asking when I'll get a "proper" job instead of "just" looking after the house. Just keep smiling, just keep smiling...

BernardandMissBianca
07-30-2007, 03:42 PM
I'd love to see your schedule Michelle, I keep trying to organise one but never seem to do it. My only rules are laundry on Mondays, ironing on Wednesdays, works as i don't have kids yet.

Glad to see lots of happy SAHMs here, I get strange looks from my friends when they hear that's my plan and my mum and sister keep asking when I'll get a "proper" job instead of "just" looking after the house. Just keep smiling, just keep smiling...

You know my answer to that Queenie, being a SAHM is a job. We just get paid in hugs and kisses instead of dollars and cents. I swear I am busier now then when they were babies, car pool, sports, play dates, etc... I have to have a schedule too. I'm pretty flexible from day to day stuff.
Sundays is usually laundry day
Monday grocery (no kids)
Fridays - errands
everyday- trash, dishes
Saturdays are our day to just be, DH is gone so much so this is the day we take off as a family, grab lunch, see a movie etc..
Things like that.

As for house cleaning I try to pick up during the week in every room and then take 1 or 2 rooms a day and really clean them.


Funny how your mum wants you to go to work. In Japan, which is where my brother is moving to, they were appalled to find out that not only did my mom work but her job was to look after other peoples children so they could work. In Japan you are expected to quit your job either as soon as you get married or have kids.

DisneyMommyMichelle
07-30-2007, 04:48 PM
ahh get used to the proper job question! I get it ALL the time! And when i don't get that, i get tons of people that want to leave their kids with me, walk their dogs, take them to appts. and the like all because "michelle doesn't do anything"

:rolleyes: It's a pain!!


alright here is my schedule mon-friday (DH does not work on the weekends and we go out of our way to spend as much time together as a family as possible! and he helps with everything!)

It helps to be super flexible, because usually coming off the weekends, the kids take their naps SOOO much earlier and I have to rearrange stuff :)

DH just got a new job recently, so my schedule has been altered since i last posted it somewhere! haha!
[QUOTE]
Alarm for DH & I at 6am
showers (we have our own bathrooms)
6:30 DH starts breakfast & I get the kids clothes ready

630-7am empty dishwasher from the previous day (we hand wash dishes and use the washer as a dryer!)

7am-730 breakfast with the entire family& DH leave for work (he starts at 730, but works across the street)

730-8am I wash dishes, tidy up kitchen & kids are given wet washcloths to clean up the table and just learn the basics of chores.

8am-9am Kids baths, getting dressed, making beds in all the rooms and tidying up rooms and bathrooms.

9am-11am This is open time for our daily craft activity, playroom time and outside time, whichever they choose to do in whatever order. (this is when I get any laundry together from the previous day and laundry to be done that day and toss it in.)
MON- Bedding & misc. household stuff
Tue-Towels & Shower curtains
Wed-Kids Clothes
Thurs-DH
Fri-My Clothes

11am-1130am I start getting lunch ready while the kids clean up the playroom. (all the bins and buckets and such are labled with photos, so that they know what goes where) (my little guy just shoves things everywhere though :) )

1130-1230 DH gets home for lunch and we eat together then he clears table, I wash and he plays with the kids until it's time to leave. While he plays i run the swiffer over the floors in the kitchen, the foyer and vacuum up the dining room.

1230 While DH walks out the door, he tosses the clothes in the dryer and takes out the trash (we fill ALOT of trash :sad2: )

1230-2pm We usually head outside about now, so that the kids can burn off their energy before naps or we will head out to the library or store or kiddie gym etc. Before heading out I defrost something for dinner.

2pm-330 Naptime!! I use this time to craft, DIS, and fold clothes, this is my time :) I try not to do any housework at this time haha :)

330-430 small snack after naps and then we usually read or color or lately, they have loved playing games. (I will steal away every now and then to check stuff online and to give the house a once over & vacuum certain rooms of the house-alternate based on days)

430 DH gets home!!! Together we put away clothes and start on dinner :woohoo:

We like to eat at around 530 every day. Then after dinner and before any prime time shows we want to watch we do whatever the kids want to do.

Around this time is when I break away and do whatever just to wind down from the day. DH likes taking the kids outside to race their giant RC cars :laughing: That is def. NOT my thing :) ;)

It TOTALLY helps to keep baskets in EVERY room of the house (i use pretty decorative ones) and i toss stuff in them when i'm too busy to put it away. (stuff that does not belong in that room) and EVERY NIGHT before bed DH and i attack the baskets and put the stuff away. The kids have to put the playroom and their bedroom baskets away. We help them of course, but they are in charge of them.

Hope this helps! Any questions, feel free to ask :)

DH deep cleans the potties on the weekends :)

BernardandMissBianca
07-30-2007, 09:58 PM
man you have a system down! I wish I were that organized.
It must be nice to have DH come home for lunch, I would love that. Of course I would love for him to have a normal job too. He works on the road 45 weeks a year all over the world. So we cram 7 days worth of stuff into 30 hours. Come home on Friday, leave on Sunday.
This week he is home so it's major construction time. We need to finish building our bookcases for the living room.
Over the summer we have been pretty lax on the schedule but come school time it's another story.
7am up, dress, eat
8am drop kids off at school, me and DD walk til 9:30, then shower while she naps. I do what ever, dishes, clean, DIS :rolleyes1

10:30 hang with mom, run errands, clean

noon: lunch, DIS while eating

3pm get boys

after school - sports, homework, playtime!

6:30 dinner

7:30 baths

8pm DS5 and 6 off to bed, sometimes DD if I can get her to go down
8:30 -9 DS11 bed

rest of the night- Mommy time!

Of course when DH is home the schedule goes all wonky depending on where he is coming from. If he has a time change it throws us off too.

aroyer
07-30-2007, 10:11 PM
Thanks for the tips! Buffy, I like how you have scheduled DIS time!! It will be interesting the first month, DD doesn't go back to school until the 27th. So we will have just settled into a schedule and then she will go back and we will adjust to a whole new schedule! I did decide today that while DS naps, DD and I are going to have reading time. I have been dying to catch up on my reading, so she is going to read her book and I am going to read mine (Does DIS count as reading???? ;) ). Other than that I haven't a had a chance to even think about a schedule. Things are nuts- finishing up projects at work, getting the nanny's last few days in order, dinner parties (4 to be exact) and in-laws coming to stay with us (no worries, the fun kind).

DisneyMommyMichelle
07-30-2007, 10:34 PM
Yes it is nice to have DH come home for lunch. It's a HUGE difference! His old job took him 1.5hrs to drive to and he started at 5am! :faint: so needless to say we never saw him, but it was still mon-fri, so that was nice :) Then this opened up and OMG it is RIGHT across the street! haha! so we have a lot more DH/daddy time :) It can get a bit nerve wracking at times ;) but it's fun ::yes::

BernardandMissBianca
07-30-2007, 10:53 PM
Thanks for the tips! Buffy, I like how you have scheduled DIS time!! It will be interesting the first month, DD doesn't go back to school until the 27th. So we will have just settled into a schedule and then she will go back and we will adjust to a whole new schedule! I did decide today that while DS naps, DD and I are going to have reading time. I have been dying to catch up on my reading, so she is going to read her book and I am going to read mine (Does DIS count as reading???? ;) ). Other than that I haven't a had a chance to even think about a schedule. Things are nuts- finishing up projects at work, getting the nanny's last few days in order, dinner parties (4 to be exact) and in-laws coming to stay with us (no worries, the fun kind).

I would start right off the bat with a school type schedule. No lounging in pjs till noon, eat when DD would normally eat lunch, playtime outside in the afternoon. It will make your life so much easier!!! Especially make your morning routine solid now. About a month before school starts, which would be this week, we start cutting back the bedtime, and start getting up earlier, etc..

And yes DISing does count as reading. ;)

aroyer
07-30-2007, 11:11 PM
We really haven't strayed too much from our school schedule- except at bedtime. DD gets up pretty early and always gets dressed, she's pretty particular about that. She eats around the same time as school as well, her tummy is trained! I guess that the biggest schedule transition will be for me! :lmao: Going from working full time, to home with 2 kids, to home with 1 and 1 at school.

Any thoughts on how to transition DS (2) from his nanny? He is pretty attached to her (looks for her even when she isn't coming) and doesn't understand that she is leaving.

PrincessNancy96
08-02-2007, 01:00 AM
aroyer~
2 more days..are you ready for your new job????????
It's gonna be fun!!!

aroyer
08-02-2007, 07:25 AM
Yes, Yes, Yes!!! I am so ready to be done with this blasted job. DH's family (love them) thinks I should just blow off the last few days. That's not who I am though, way too loyal. I can handle two more days. :cool1: :cool1: :cool1: :cool1: :cool1: :cool1: :cool1:

aroyer
08-03-2007, 07:40 AM
LAST DAY!! LAST DAY!! :cool1: :cool1: :cool1:

AlexWyattMommy
08-03-2007, 07:41 AM
Happy Last Day!!!

PrincessNancy96
08-03-2007, 07:49 AM
Happy last day of work!!! ;)

maria34a
08-03-2007, 08:33 AM
Congrats!!! Have a great last day!!!! :banana: :banana:

Gotta have the dancing banana for this!!!

DisneyMommyMichelle
08-03-2007, 10:34 AM
Congrats on the last day!!! :yay:

BernardandMissBianca
08-03-2007, 11:34 AM
HAPPY LAST DAY!!!!:cool1: :cool1:

party of 3
08-03-2007, 04:30 PM
happy last day !!!!!!!:banana: :banana: :banana:

aroyer
08-04-2007, 02:48 PM
:woohoo: Last day over! It still hasn't hit me that I am finished. I think it will sink in Sunday night when I don't have to set the alarm!

PrincessNancy96
08-04-2007, 03:52 PM
Set the alarm.. YOU forget.. YOU have children.. no more alarms.. the alarm you have no will walk on 2 feet!

calanniebu
08-05-2007, 01:58 PM
Set the alarm.. YOU forget.. YOU have children.. no more alarms.. the alarm you have no will walk on 2 feet! :lmao: :lmao: :lmao: :lmao: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :lmao: :lmao: :lmao: :lmao: I don't even have kids yet ... but that cracked me up!!!! I had been following the thread for some tips to store in the back of my head :-)

pretty in tink
08-05-2007, 04:24 PM
Set the alarm.. YOU forget.. YOU have children.. no more alarms.. the alarm you have no will walk on 2 feet!

I was thinking the same thing! And if you're able to get up a little earlier than the kids, you can have a little extra time for yourself or set up your day or get ahead on housework(yeah, right!). I started sleeping in and now I just drag on the mornings I have to actually get up early. It might actually help for you to keep getting up at close to the same time (unless it's dreadfully early and noone should have to be up then, anyways)

And as for those "real" work questions-I think it's all how you say it. Be positive and remind them that having kids IS a full-time job! (And you can also quote those statistics that say if mom's were paid, their salary should be well over $100K-that's how much "Real Work" they actually do!) Good Luck!

aroyer
08-05-2007, 05:51 PM
Yeah, my little alarm clock (DS) is usually up not long after my "real" alarm clock, so its not going to be any different really. It's just more the formality of having to turn the "real" alarm clock on.

happypooh
08-07-2007, 06:21 AM
I have to admit being a SAHM is way way harder than my job! So I'm struggling with the decision to go back to work part time (three or less mornings a week) or staying home - I love what I do but at the same time my youngest is still so little....(5 months)...I should stay home right?? Tell me I'm not crazy for wanting to stay home?

DisneyMommyMichelle
08-07-2007, 01:44 PM
you are not crazy!

PrincessNancy96
08-07-2007, 04:59 PM
I have to admit being a SAHM is way way harder than my job! So I'm struggling with the decision to go back to work part time (three or less mornings a week) or staying home - I love what I do but at the same time my youngest is still so little....(5 months)...I should stay home right?? Tell me I'm not crazy for wanting to stay home?

Nope you aren't crazy for wanting to stay home!!!
Each person has a totally different perspective and weighs the pros/ cons to staying at home vs. working.. FOLLOW your heart and you'll do the right things for YOU and YOUR family!!!

I love staying home!!

aroyer
08-07-2007, 06:35 PM
You are NOT crazy!! I wanted to be home with the kids to experience their every day activities. And once I am finished with this stinkin project, I am going to enjoy that to the fullest!

pretty in tink
08-09-2007, 12:19 AM
If you want to stay at home you should. Think of what you would be missing-and think how you would feel if you went back even though you didn't want to. When the time is right, you'll know it :) Just make sure you get a little grown-up time, too. I went back to work part-time when my daughter was 4 but only bc I think she needed a break from me! And by then I needed a little "big people" time. I realized when I started calling them "big people" that it was time for a change!

And as for being harder than a job, a lot of people my husband works with have told him they thought it was weird I didn't "work" but he gladly tells them my job at home is WAY harder than his!

lolafrances
08-15-2007, 08:51 PM
Happy Pooh, I think being (or becoming a SAHM) is a very personal family decision, and like some PP's said, you have to do what is best for you. Just follow your heart. Remember you have a very long life ahead to do other things but your kids are only babies once. Good luck and enjoy this time, whatever you decide to do!

happypooh
08-16-2007, 12:50 AM
Thanks so much everyone for posting. I am still trying to make a decision and probably have to in the next two weeks or so....maybe I'll know after our trip to disneyworld for free dining in two weeks....maybe I'll just go back to one morning a week.....this is soooo hard.....you are all right...they are babies so short a time.

BernardandMissBianca
08-16-2007, 01:14 AM
Thanks so much everyone for posting. I am still trying to make a decision and probably have to in the next two weeks or so....maybe I'll know after our trip to disneyworld for free dining in two weeks....maybe I'll just go back to one morning a week.....this is soooo hard.....you are all right...they are babies so short a time.

this is just our personal story so take it with a grain of salt. LOL not trying to influence your decision either way.
DH and I discussed child care before we even got married. My mom has made a career in day care and I have worked in the field as well. We decided that one of us would stay home after we had kids. We did not want someone else raising our kids, I saw and still see it with my mom, the kids would cry when they left my mom not their own parents. It made me sad and made my mom feel guilty. We also thought that we didn't want our kids in daycare until they were old enough to tell us if someone at the center did something bad to them, keep in mind this is 11 years ago and there were some pretty bad daycare stories at the time. If we didn't have to put them in that situation in the first place by staying home then that was way better.
Also DH could make more money than me so it was decided that I would stay home. He knew he had to step up and work harder but it was better for only one of us to be gone instead of both of us. At todays daycare rates it would make no sense for me to work either, I would make enough to cover the cost of daycare and nothing more.
I also don't consider myself a SAHM, I'm a NAHM (never at home mom), between playdates, sports, parties, etc I am busier than ever. Who ever said it gets easier as they get older flat out lied. :rotfl2: I don't think I could do all of these things and work.

Now, my BFF on the other hand, can't stay home. She tried for a summer and it drove her nuts. She needs the challenges of work and family, it works for her. She doesn't know how I do it, and I don't know how she does it. But the most important thing is that we support each others decision. there is no "you don't care about your family" and "you have tons of time on your hands".

Lola is right, it is a very personal and private decision, and don't let anyone beat you down for making the choice that is right for your family.

happypooh
08-16-2007, 03:50 AM
this is just our personal story so take it with a grain of salt. LOL not trying to influence your decision either way.
DH and I discussed child care before we even got married. My mom has made a career in day care and I have worked in the field as well. We decided that one of us would stay home after we had kids. We did not want someone else raising our kids, I saw and still see it with my mom, the kids would cry when they left my mom not their own parents. It made me sad and made my mom feel guilty. We also thought that we didn't want our kids in daycare until they were old enough to tell us if someone at the center did something bad to them, keep in mind this is 11 years ago and there were some pretty bad daycare stories at the time. If we didn't have to put them in that situation in the first place by staying home then that was way better.
Also DH could make more money than me so it was decided that I would stay home. He knew he had to step up and work harder but it was better for only one of us to be gone instead of both of us. At todays daycare rates it would make no sense for me to work either, I would make enough to cover the cost of daycare and nothing more.
I also don't consider myself a SAHM, I'm a NAHM (never at home mom), between playdates, sports, parties, etc I am busier than ever. Who ever said it gets easier as they get older flat out lied. :rotfl2: I don't think I could do all of these things and work.

Now, my BFF on the other hand, can't stay home. She tried for a summer and it drove her nuts. She needs the challenges of work and family, it works for her. She doesn't know how I do it, and I don't know how she does it. But the most important thing is that we support each others decision. there is no "you don't care about your family" and "you have tons of time on your hands".

Lola is right, it is a very personal and private decision, and don't let anyone beat you down for making the choice that is right for your family.

I totally agree with you...we would never do daycare...I'm too germ phobic never mind that it goes against our attachment parenting style! When we had our first DS I went back to work three mornings a week and my DH stayed home (he can work from home/remotely) during that time. Now with two little ones I see that it is quite difficult for my DH to cope with both (three times a week) but maybe he would be ok one morning a week. (esp since the little one sleeps most of the time I would be gone anyway.) We are so blessed that I can afford to stay home (as long as I stop buying all those expensive cricut cartridges!) so it is more the do I need to work to keep up my medical licensure (I still need to call the state to check on that) and because I truly love family medicine and my patients too (who can't wait for me to go back to work!) If I worked full time I think I would go crazy - but part part time would maybe work?? Thanks for sharing your story...sounds like you have a great best friend too to share in the joys of parenthood. I can see that being home really is much more hard work and as you say it would be easy to be a NAHM!

aroyer
08-16-2007, 08:39 AM
I totally agree with you...we would never do daycare...I'm too germ phobic never mind that it goes against our attachment parenting style! When we had our first DS I went back to work three mornings a week and my DH stayed home (he can work from home/remotely) during that time. Now with two little ones I see that it is quite difficult for my DH to cope with both (three times a week) but maybe he would be ok one morning a week. (esp since the little one sleeps most of the time I would be gone anyway.) We are so blessed that I can afford to stay home (as long as I stop buying all those expensive cricut cartridges!) so it is more the do I need to work to keep up my medical licensure (I still need to call the state to check on that) and because I truly love family medicine and my patients too (who can't wait for me to go back to work!) If I worked full time I think I would go crazy - but part part time would maybe work?? Thanks for sharing your story...sounds like you have a great best friend too to share in the joys of parenthood. I can see that being home really is much more hard work and as you say it would be easy to be a NAHM!

I need to stop buying all those expensive cricut cartridges too!!! :lmao:

I can say that I have fully enjoyed my last week and a half as a SAHM (or NAHM as B&MB calls it!)! DS has not even asked for the nanny- which I was worried about since he was very attached to her. When we found out that the nanny was leaving we were having a really hard time deciding what to do. The thought of daycare made me cry every time it was brought up. We did it the first year of his life because we didn't have a choice. DH was in law school and so there was no way both of us could be without jobs!! :sad2: Once he graduated we had a little more flexibility so then we got the nanny and we were very comfortable and happy with that situation (we knew her for 2 years before we employed her). Last April I really felt a tug on my heart to stay home with the kids. And once DH looked at how much I made and how much the nanny made and the tax implications, turns out it would have been cheaper for me to stay home last year too. :scared:

As others have said it is a personal family decision and best of luck finding the right mix for your family!