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frenort21
07-27-2007, 12:41 PM
Hi guys guess I will share my story then ask the question. Ok on Feb.18th of this yr. my fiance and I finally set a date and place after a 3.5yr engagement. I was thrilled my fiance who was not big on Disney had said lets get married this yr at disney world. I was so happy I called my family to let them know. On Feb. 19th my father passed away of a heart attack. Thankfully through my faith I have found comfort I know where my father is, but I know on my day I am going to want him here with me. So my question is I know many of you have gone through this or something very similar how hard was it on your wedding day? I am so afraid that I will be crying so hard that day and I dont want to upset my family I want it to be a happy day. Any experience, tips, or advice would be much appreciated.

mla1977
07-27-2007, 01:13 PM
My father dies 11 years ago. While I am not married, I know I will be a wreck when the day comes. I was only 19 when he passed, but I've been debating what I will do when the time comes that I walk down the aisle. I've always said that I don't want anyone mentioning my dad on my wedding day, but I already have his memory going through my mind. My thoughts are with you.

pixie08
07-27-2007, 01:23 PM
Firstly, I am so sorry for your loss.

My father passed away quite a few years ago and I just recently got married. Was it hard? Yes. I will not lie about that. I wa very emotinal the few days leading up to the wedding but during the wedding it was not so. I had my uncle who I am very close to walk me down the aisle and it was great having someone there with me while I waited for those doors to open.

I did the traditional memorial candle and also put the lyrics to a song in my program and dedicated it to my father. I was going to have the reverend say something but I knew it would make everyone so emotional so I left it at that and I am happy I did.

It was odd though. For one of the very first times I truely felt my father's presence when we were at the altar. I just knew he was there and that made me very happy.

Glorydaz
07-27-2007, 01:45 PM
I really don't have any advice to give you but I wanted to extend my heartfelt sympathies for your sorrow. Just reading your post made me sad because we have the same dilemma facing us for our wedding in a few months. my FFIL died suddenly last March and then my stepson was killed last May and we have been on an emotional roller coaster since. I find it's very very hard to stay upbeat but am desperately searching for a way.

what we are doing is having a memory table with small photos, a candle and we are playing some of their favorite music. also, for the dessert portion, in their honor, we are serving one of each of their favorites. as I said, sadly, I have no advice to share - just know that I and many of us here feel your pain. :grouphug:

Michelle :cloud9:

myprincessgirlisa
07-27-2007, 02:00 PM
Welcome & Im sorry to hear about your father:hug:

I cant be of much help regarding this, sorry

as you read, alot of girls are incorporating a memory/symbol of some sort in their wedding...that seemd to work out wonderfully

i hope you are able to find something "right' for you.

feel free to come here anytime to talk, we are here with open ears!!
Congrats on your date!!:goodvibes

luv4mylittleones
07-27-2007, 03:15 PM
I can completely sympathize with you. My mother passed away a few months ago and the thought of her not being there in December is tearing me up but we are going to place her mickey ears (the story is in my PJ of why) on a column and place a rose next to the ears during the processional to signify her presence. I don't want to do much any more than that though because I know I would completely break down and my "happy" day would become quite dark. I just need to know she's there with me and I'm happy about what we're doing.

Janell
07-27-2007, 03:37 PM
Im so sorry for your lost. I can't say I have any good advice. Just know your father loved you and is happy for you. If there is something that you could do to remember him on that day, that would be nice.

Now this is different and I know that, but my grandmother died in March and I am wareing her wedding ring for the first time on our wedding day, I will have some yellow flowers somewhere in the wedding because she loved yellow flowers. And she will be with me in my heart. Oh her goes the water works.

Anyhow, you will fine little ways to have your father with you. Just think of something he would have liked.

Again I am so sorry.

Swmhc
07-27-2007, 04:07 PM
I also wanted to add that many brides walk down the aisle alone and the groom meets her half way. I thought this was a very "princely" way to do the entrance. Though my father is still living, he cannot physically make the journey, so this is what I will be doing. But I also love the ideas of the previous posters. Good luck.

mo1973
07-27-2007, 04:36 PM
I am so sorry. I was in the same boat. My father passed away in July 1992 and I got married in June 1994. It was the dark cloud in all that planning because since I was little, it was the picture I had- me and my Dad walking down the aisle. I actually considered asking my uncle, who I have been close to since babyhood- but in the end, I asked my mom. She was really, really happy and for me, there was just no other choice.

Still, the days preceding my wedding were very difficult- I just couldn't let go of the fact my dad wouldnt be there to do that. One of my bridesmaids suggested we somehow find a way for me to have a picture of my dad with me. I took my favorite picture of him and my mom had it laminated so it would stay clean. It was very small and then I tucked it in my bouquet. When I looked down on the way down the aisle, he was there. Of course, I cried a little at first, but it made me feel so much better.

Hope this helps- I know how hard it is. During my vow renewal, I plan to do the same - since my mom has passed too- I am tucking both of their pictures in my bouquet.

Hugs!!

Chantelle
07-27-2007, 04:41 PM
I was really worried about breaking down on my wedding day over the loss of my father 5 years ago. To be honest, it all went so quickly and there were so many other things to be focused on that I didn't really think about it too much.

I incorporated his memory by using red roses in my bouquet so I had a moment to reflect on him when I got my bouquet. It was a little hard to walk down the aisle alone, but I was nowhere near as emotional as I thought I might be because I was just so happy to be marrying my husband and to be surrounded by so many people that loved us.

We're having a second wedding ceremony in the catholic church and I am writing something in rememberance of my dad so maybe that will be more emotional for me.

majenco
07-27-2007, 05:52 PM
So sorry for you loss. My mother died when I was 18 and although that was many years ago I have felt her loss much more acutely as I plan my wedding, this is something we would have most certainly shared. I am choosing to have a moment of silence for her at the wedding and place a rose on the seat where she would have been. At the reception I will have her picture on one of the tables. I know she will be there and that will give me comfort and I hope your father's spirit will bring you the same comfort.:grouphug:

frenort21
07-27-2007, 07:11 PM
Thank you guys So much. All of the advice and hugs have helped a great deal. I knew you guys were the right ones to come to. :grouphug: Hrmm now to think of a fun memorial for him that would keep the tears at bay and the smiles all day. I am working on getting my DF to meet me half way but he fears nerves might get the best of him. Again Thank you guys. I am sorry anyone has to go through this on one of the happiest days. :hug: to everyone of you.

NEVERENOUGHWDW
07-27-2007, 07:23 PM
I am so sorry about your Dad. I had the same concern when I was about to get married. Somehow I made "peace" with it before the wedding.
The day of the wedding I had my favorite picture of my Dad & I on the altar and then at the reception the photo actually sat on a table very near us it was as if he watched over the entire wedding and that is how I felt.
The hardest thing for me was the idea of walking down the aisle without him....My Mom walked me down and we did share some tears before we went down the aisle, we held onto each other for dear life.

Just know that he is proud of you and he wishes you nothing but love and peace on your wedding day and beyond.:hug:

frenort21
07-28-2007, 03:06 PM
I am so sorry about your Dad. I had the same concern when I was about to get married. Somehow I made "peace" with it before the wedding.
The day of the wedding I had my favorite picture of my Dad & I on the altar and then at the reception the photo actually sat on a table very near us it was as if he watched over the entire wedding and that is how I felt.
The hardest thing for me was the idea of walking down the aisle without him....My Mom walked me down and we did share some tears before we went down the aisle, we held onto each other for dear life.

Just know that he is proud of you and he wishes you nothing but love and peace on your wedding day and beyond.:hug:

Thank you so much I am praying for that peace. I will have to ask my mom if she wants to walk me down. I have thought about it but wondered if she would be comfortable doing it. Guess it wouldnt hurt to ask. Thank you all again.

JonetteA
07-28-2007, 03:17 PM
Mine was my mom. I understand what you are going to go through. We created a memory table that sat in the gazebo with us. Since Leif had lost his mom as well, we put pictures of both mothers, and had a candle to represent all of the family members that could not be with us. In addition, I had a floral arrangement up there. We also left an empty chair on the aisle so that they had a seat. During the recessional, we put a single rose on each mother's chair. I hope that this helps, and I know what an emotional time it is. Hang in there and let us know how we can help you.

theantibride
07-29-2007, 12:13 AM
First off, let me extend my condolences. I'm so sorry you have to go through this. My dad died very suddenly in 2001 and I am planning my wedding now. I never wanted to be walked down the aisle or given away -- I had always planned on coming down the aisle by myself so that hasn't been an issue. My biggest heartache right now is the first dance. I always wanted a first dance with my dad just like when I was little and would dance on his feet. I'm all into planning the ceremony but very detached from the reception cause it's kind of hard for me. My friend Kelly got married last April and her dad died when she was 10 so she just had her Mom fill in all of his roles at her wedding. It was very emotional for the both of them but it was also very touching. If you're close to your mom then that's one idea. Wish I could be more help right now but I'm sort of in the same boat, so sorry.

frenort21
07-29-2007, 03:43 PM
Mine was my mom. I understand what you are going to go through. We created a memory table that sat in the gazebo with us. Since Leif had lost his mom as well, we put pictures of both mothers, and had a candle to represent all of the family members that could not be with us. In addition, I had a floral arrangement up there. We also left an empty chair on the aisle so that they had a seat. During the recessional, we put a single rose on each mother's chair. I hope that this helps, and I know what an emotional time it is. Hang in there and let us know how we can help you.

Thank you JonetteA. I might use the seat and rose idea. I think it would be sweet and appropriate without being to emotional. I am sorry to hear about your mother and mil. Thank you again.

First off, let me extend my condolences. I'm so sorry you have to go through this. My dad died very suddenly in 2001 and I am planning my wedding now. I never wanted to be walked down the aisle or given away -- I had always planned on coming down the aisle by myself so that hasn't been an issue. My biggest heartache right now is the first dance. I always wanted a first dance with my dad just like when I was little and would dance on his feet. I'm all into planning the ceremony but very detached from the reception cause it's kind of hard for me. My friend Kelly got married last April and her dad died when she was 10 so she just had her Mom fill in all of his roles at her wedding. It was very emotional for the both of them but it was also very touching. If you're close to your mom then that's one idea. Wish I could be more help right now but I'm sort of in the same boat, so sorry.

Theantibride thank you for your kind words. I am so sorry to hear about your father as well. I knew I wasnt in the boat alone that there were brides going through this and brides who had been through it. I hoped this would help not only me but maybe others too. I hope all goes well for you.

NEVERENOUGHWDW
07-29-2007, 05:14 PM
First off, let me extend my condolences. I'm so sorry you have to go through this. My dad died very suddenly in 2001 and I am planning my wedding now. I never wanted to be walked down the aisle or given away -- I had always planned on coming down the aisle by myself so that hasn't been an issue. My biggest heartache right now is the first dance. I always wanted a first dance with my dad just like when I was little and would dance on his feet. I'm all into planning the ceremony but very detached from the reception cause it's kind of hard for me. My friend Kelly got married last April and her dad died when she was 10 so she just had her Mom fill in all of his roles at her wedding. It was very emotional for the both of them but it was also very touching. If you're close to your mom then that's one idea. Wish I could be more help right now but I'm sort of in the same boat, so sorry.
I had always thought I would come down the aisle by myself, I thought it would take away from my Mom if she was unable to watch me come into the church and down the aisle. I did find out that it would have made my Mom VERY sad to watch me come down alone so I asked her if she would like to walk me down the aisle or watch me and she was very clear that she didn't want me to come down alone. She walked me down and it was just terrific. I'm so glad it worked out that way and we really supported each other. Just something for you to think about:bride:

cinderella0712
08-01-2007, 08:56 PM
I sad for you. Both of my DH's parents are deceased. It was a very emotional time the few days leading up to our wedding especially since his mother's birthday was only a week prior to our wedding. We decide to light a remembrance candle during the ceremony. Like other post have previously stated..many brides have walked down the aisle and their groom met them halfway. My prayers are with you. Hugs!!