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View Full Version : Yesterday I was disappointed. Today I don't know how to feel. (Added pictures 8/1)


desiab
07-26-2007, 09:51 AM
Bare with me as this is a long convoluted story.

Deleting the saga since it is causing issues with the family.

FormrCastMbr
07-26-2007, 09:56 AM
I am sorry you are going through this. I would be very hurt. :hug:

At this point, I guess I would be done with it and let them make all the changes - you have worked hard enough. Next time, don't go out of your way.

Again, many :hug: .

mcarthur205
07-26-2007, 10:07 AM
What are they playing at? :confused3 Its very late in the day to be changing reception venues!

Anyway, I would be absolutely furious and very hurt, and I would probably let them know exactly how I felt! I'd wash my hands of the whole project and let them get on with it, its their loss. You did your best.

CarolAnn.

Glorydaz
07-26-2007, 10:56 AM
personally, I would tell them as nice as possible how you have extended yourself out of LOVE to make their day go as smooth as possible. I don't think I would change it at this last minute when you have obviously put your heart and soul into this - asking nothing in return.

if they still decide to make the change, let the SIL who found the new place arrange to have everything taken care of, explain the situation as best to the dance studio owner and leave it be.

I would be very hurt and very put out. however, their wedding is this Saturday. I think it's way too late in the game to make this huge a change but the decision is ultimately theirs. I just wouldn't go out of my way at all at this point if they change venues.

just my opinion ... but I do feel very badly for you...:hug:

Michelle :cloud9:

myprincessgirlisa
07-26-2007, 11:18 AM
Man I feel really bad for you!!

This SIL should by bound & gagged until the wedding is over:lmao:

i believe you went above & beyond to help out the B&G & SIL has managed to completely ruin all your hard work!! what a ^%@#...sorry...i mean why did she have to wait until the LAST minute to pull this stunt!!

Well it seems like there are a few people who dont appreciate you so at this point I would wash my hands of it & tell SIL "its all yours" and hand her the list of changes needed to be done cause she decided to play wedding planner!

again I am SO SORRY that this is happening to you & you can bet if you did this for me....i would have been thanking you & hugging you all the time & acknowledging your hard work by halting SIL:hug:

Chin up & keep us posted:goodvibes

desiab
07-26-2007, 11:22 AM
I am sorry you are going through this. I would be very hurt. :hug:

At this point, I guess I would be done with it and let them make all the changes - you have worked hard enough. Next time, don't go out of your way.

Again, many :hug: .

My husband warned me beforehand that something was bound to happen because something always does with his sister. After every party I help with I tell myself there isn't going to be a next time and there always is. How dumb am I?

I learned my lesson with this wedding. Thanks for the :hug:.

What are they playing at? :confused3 Its very late in the day to be changing reception venues!

Anyway, I would be absolutely furious and very hurt, and I would probably let them know exactly how I felt! I'd wash my hands of the whole project and let them get on with it, its their loss. You did your best.

CarolAnn.

I am too hurt right now to tell them how I feel, but later down the rode maybe.

personally, I would tell them as nice as possible how you have extended yourself out of LOVE to make their day go as smooth as possible. I don't think I would change it at this last minute when you have obviously put your heart and soul into this - asking nothing in return.

if they still decide to make the change, let the SIL who found the new place arrange to have everything taken care of, explain the situation as best to the dance studio owner and leave it be.

I would be very hurt and very put out. However, their wedding is this Saturday. I think it's way too late in the game to make this huge a change but the decision is ultimately theirs. I just wouldn't go out of my way at all at this point if they change venues.

just my opinion ... but I do feel very badly for you...:hug:

Michelle :cloud9:

I am still stunned that they would pull a stunt like this just days before the wedding. They are sticking with their decision to move everything. The groom has tried to call this morning to "take responsibility" for what has happened. I am just not ready to talk to him right now.

Thanks Michelle for your hugs and concern. My other niece and friend that were with me last night both are named Michelle.

Glorydaz
07-26-2007, 11:40 AM
take a deep breath, stay FAR away from all the last minute planning since you have most definitely done your part!, go to the wedding Saturday, give your niece a huge hug and stick to your guns not to help where this SIL is involved!

I've learned many things in life through our own trials, tribulations and tragedies but the most important is: you cannot go back in time. do not waste time playing the what-if game. take what you've learned from this life lesson and apply if ever needed. oh and always feel free to come here and vent, storm, cry, question. we've all been there in one way or another and this group is incredibly giving!

Michelle :cloud9:

desiab
07-26-2007, 11:48 AM
Man I feel really bad for you!!



Well it seems like there are a few people who dont appreciate you so at this point I would wash my hands of it & tell SIL "its all yours" and hand her the list of changes needed to be done cause she decided to play wedding planner!

again I am SO SORRY that this is happening to you & you can bet if you did this for me....i would have been thanking you & hugging you all the time & acknowledging your hard work by halting SIL:hug:

Chin up & keep us posted:goodvibes

Well I have about 200 seed packets, 400 mini wrapped Hershey's, 20 full-sized wrapped Hershey's, 200 decorated favor bags, a photo guest book and 175 printed & tied programs with their monogram on it. I am sure I could fix it up for you. :lmao:

My husband just called to say that he talked to the groom and the groom is doing some major apologizing today. I believe that his mom (a corporate event planner) is picking up the pieces to try to salvage what is left of the reception.

My DH also told him that I would not be having anything further to do with the wedding or the reception, as far as working or organizing. We will be there for the rehearsal and wedding because my daughter is in it. But otherwise until I get to the point of not feeling so upset we wouldn't be around much the next few days.

This evening DH is taking all of the stuff I have over to my MIL's for them to pick up. Including all of the food for the reception. I hope I don't sound childish when I say that I am not volunteering any of my serving pieces, plates, platters, or utensils. I am just showing up to the wedding to see my child.

desiab
07-26-2007, 11:51 AM
take a deep breath, stay FAR away from all the last minute planning since you have most definitely done your part!, go to the wedding Saturday, give your niece a huge hug and stick to your guns not to help where this SIL is involved!

I've learned many things in life through our own trials, tribulations and tragedies but the most important is: you cannot go back in time. do not waste time playing the what-if game. take what you've learned from this life lesson and apply if ever needed. oh and always feel free to come here and vent, storm, cry, question. we've all been there in one way or another and this group is incredibly giving!

Michelle :cloud9:

That sounds a lot like what my husband has been telling me and what he told the groom today.

theantibride
07-26-2007, 12:37 PM
BIG HUGS coming at ya! It sounds like your SIL just steamrolled over everything and the bride & groom didn't want a fight. I mean, 4 days before the big day I can't imagine trying to fight someone on a venue location I'd probably do the same as they did and throw int he towel cause at that point I think my stress level will be up to here! I think the whole thing could have been handled better, yes. But the groom is TRYING to make amends with you and you should let him. Even if it hurts. Because at this point in time an unaccepted apology is just one more thing hanging over their heads that they don't need. So hear him out and accept his apology and then just explain that you are exhausted from what you had done before everything got changed and you cannot help anywhere. It's a perfect excuse and you don't have to go into detail about hurt feelings or anything at that point intime. And at the wedding show up, smile, try to enjoy yourself, and take along a muzzle for your SIL!

myprincessgirlisa
07-26-2007, 12:40 PM
That is mild compared to the things I said last night! :rolleyes1 I offered to buy my BIL a couple of choke collars for my SIL because she has started a fight with the family every day since she came into town. I don't understand what has to be going on in her head to make her think that her behavior is acceptable. My husband said that he was really embarrassed at the way she is acting.



Well I have about 200 seed packets, 400 mini wrapped Hershey's, 20 full-sized wrapped Hershey's, 200 decorated favor bags, a photo guest book and 175 printed & tied programs with their monogram on it. I am sure I could fix it up for you. :lmao:

My husband just called to say that he talked to the groom and the groom is doing some major apologizing today. I believe that his mom (a corporate event planner) is picking up the pieces to try to salvage what is left of the reception.

My DH also told him that I would not be having anything further to do with the wedding or the reception, as far as working or organizing. We will be there for the rehearsal and wedding because my daughter is in it. But otherwise until I get to the point of not feeling so upset we wouldn't be around much the next few days.

This evening DH is taking all of the stuff I have over to my MIL's for them to pick up. Including all of the food for the reception. I hope I don't sound childish when I say that I am not volunteering any of my serving pieces, plates, platters, or utensils. I am just showing up to the wedding to see my child.


you dont sound childish at all....this couldhave been handled better & ALONG time ago
I wouldnt....just back & watch the show & have fun despite the pig-headedness

let us know how it allturned out & take pictures

maybe SIL will get drunk & disappear;) ...ok im being mean...sorry..hope your DD enjoys it & has fun:goodvibes

Disneygirl0259
07-26-2007, 12:53 PM
Im so sorry that happened to you. Next time your neice wants your help say no since you did basically everything for them and she goes over with your SIL.

desiab
07-26-2007, 12:58 PM
BIG HUGS coming at ya! It sounds like your SIL just steamrolled over everything and the bride & groom didn't want a fight. I mean, 4 days before the big day I can't imagine trying to fight someone on a venue location I'd probably do the same as they did and throw int he towel cause at that point I think my stress level will be up to here! I think the whole thing could have been handled better, yes. But the groom is TRYING to make amends with you and you should let him. Even if it hurts. Because at this point in time an unaccepted apology is just one more thing hanging over their heads that they don't need. So hear him out and accept his apology and then just explain that you are exhausted from what you had done before everything got changed and you cannot help anywhere. It's a perfect excuse and you don't have to go into detail about hurt feelings or anything at that point intime. And at the wedding show up, smile, try to enjoy yourself, and take along a muzzle for your SIL!

Thanks for the advice. I will seriously think about everything you said.

The problem I am having is that there were two other nieces present last night when he was trying to call me. He was trying to make amends last night in the hopes that I would still take care of the reception and food. The owner of the second studio (who my husband and I know well) was instructed to talk with me that I was still handling the reception. He told the same thing to my MIL and my friend Michelle this morning.

If he was sincerely wanting to make amends because he feels bad about how they handled it I might be more willing. But to apologize so that I would still do the food is unacceptable.

I don't know. Maybe I am being petty on that point.

Mickey1Fan
07-26-2007, 01:00 PM
So very sad and inconsiderate.

I hope everything got handed off and now you can enjoy the wedding as a guest and mom of a member of the bridal party.

How old is your daughter?

Just think how much you can now enjoy the reception and not have to worry one little bit about things going wrong.

desiab
07-26-2007, 01:19 PM
So very sad and inconsiderate.

I hope everything got handed off and now you can enjoy the wedding as a guest and mom of a member of the bridal party.

How old is your daughter?

Just think how much you can now enjoy the reception and not have to worry one little bit about things going wrong.

I have been telling myself all day that it will be nice to go to a family members wedding and just be a guest. This is such a new experience for me that I might get use to it.

My daughter is 2 and she is so excited to be "Cinderella" for the wedding. Everyday this week she has mentioned something about her and her cousin standing in the wedding. :love:

This is her cousin's dress. Hers will be exactly the same except smaller. All of the trim work is not done, but you get the Cinderella idea.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v723/desiab/Sarah/DSC01525.jpg

Glorydaz
07-26-2007, 01:44 PM
Thanks for the advice. I will seriously think about everything you said.

The problem I am having is that there were two other nieces present last night when he was trying to call me. He was trying to make amends last night in the hopes that I would still take care of the reception and food. The owner of the second studio (who my husband and I know well) was instructed to talk with me that I was still handling the reception. He told the same thing to my MIL and my friend Michelle this morning.

If he was sincerely wanting to make amends because he feels bad about how they handled it I might be more willing. But to apologize so that I would still do the food is unacceptable.

I don't know. Maybe I am being petty on that point.

nope, not petty at ALL!!!! stop thinking like that - seriously!!!! you busted a gut to help them - in kind, THEY decide 4 days before the wedding - oh, let's just change everything AND maybe if you say you're sorry, she'll still do the work??!!! sorry, you are NOT being petty - your SIL convinced them her choice was better - let her handle it. they should have been adult enough to stick by your side - they didn't.

don't let the day be ruined for you OR your daughter. they are still getting all of the items you so graciously put time and effort into it, you are still attending the wedding and so is your daughter ( we will need to see photos of her all dressed up! :goodvibes ) ... you are being more than kind .

Michelle :cloud9:

LUV2DZNEE
07-26-2007, 03:31 PM
OMG!! I'm stunned at how unthoughtful the bride and groom are being. I don't post here often, but I love to read about everyone's wedding plans and have followed all of the love, care and dedication you have put into this wedding. Bless you for your love and generosity!!

I hate to say it, but my advice is to step back, let your SIL handle EVERYTHING from here on out and just watch the train jump the track. It's likely that it will happen when trying to make such a major change at this late date. If the bride and groom don't have enough respect for all the work you have done on their behalf, they don't deserve your efforts! Go to the wedding and enjoy seeing your daughter participate - and smile to yourself when you see your SIL's plans crash and burn.

Again, Bless you for your unconditional love!! The bride and groom should be kissing your feet.

Tabetha
07-26-2007, 03:52 PM
Wow. Family sure knows how to treat family, eh?

I don't think you're being petty at all. I think that you're well within your rights to just hand over everything you've done so far (along with an invoice, but maybe that's just me) and wash your hands of the whole thing.

How incredibly hurtful, and the kicker is the manipulation factor by the ol' groom. Nice.

I'd almost be tempted to throw the reception myself if I were you. With the food you bought, and the favours you created, and have a nice big party for your friends and the people at the dance studio. You planned a party, you deserve a party! To heck with ungrateful goofs.

Lynn5700
07-26-2007, 03:54 PM
Aww I am soo sorry that they did that to you.It seems like you do a lot for them and they take you for granted:sad2:

I love the dress!!!!!! It is so cute and it does look like Cinderella's dress.:)

Swmhc
07-26-2007, 05:28 PM
I agree with the others...SIL wants to do the party..it's all hers now. Not petty at all. And the bride and groom should still be kissing your backside for all you have done and they are still benefitting from.

Cinderella22
07-26-2007, 05:51 PM
I ca't believe they did that to you! That is so rude and inconsiderate. Obviously your kinder than me, because I would tell them that all of the reception is now their problem. Your done! I do hope everything works out, and to see pics of your daughter!!

princess110607
07-27-2007, 06:31 AM
I'm not sure what to say...I think everyone has really said all I could say. So here's some hugs....:hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:

Summer-Caitlin
07-27-2007, 07:05 AM
Wow, I feel so bad for you:hug: I can't believe they are being so insensitive. Like others have said you have done enough for them, you gave alot of time and hard work to make their event truely beautiful, if SIL thinks she can handle it, then let her. Do NOT offer to do anything else for them, it's a horrible thing to say but you have just had your generosity shoved in your face, I would be furious!!!:mad:
Most people would have appreciated all the effort you had put in, they don't realise what they have passed up!

desiab
07-28-2007, 12:02 AM
You ladies won't guess what happened at the rehearsal today. I was sick to the stomach trying to decide if I would go. My DH and I talked and decided that the best thing to do would be to go for my daughter's sake.

After the rehearsal my DH and SIL had a looong talk. To the point of annoying a lot of people. The kids and I are in the truck waiting when my daughter gets the diaper bag. I didn't think anything of it until I heard my son say something. When I looked back, my daughter (2) is drinking the Similisan which is an earache medicine.

When I ran inside to tell my husband he and my SIL thought I was just trying to get him to leave. I had to get my MIL & FIL help me find the poison control number and they were standing there with me trying to keep me calm. Finally after a few minutes of me being on the phone answering questions my FIL got upset and went and got my husband. He was none to nice in what he said. Long story short my daughter is fine, but DH got his self in a world of trouble.

When I finally could think straight I told him how I felt and he apologize to the point of me telling him to shut up.

Anywho, I called my SIL to talk with her about everything that has been going on since Wednesday. Some enlightening things were uncovered by us both. Then when we went to my MIL's house with my DH's other 3 sisters and 3 nieces we started piecing together an interesting story.

It would seem that the groom has been doing some serious lying. He was the one who asked my SIL to find another place for them to have the reception. He also told his family that I would never let him see the reception hall and that he kept asking me and I would make excuses.

I am furious right now that he has his family thinking that I am a liar and that I am not a woman of my word. His mother wouldn't even speak to me tonight at the rehearsal. And my niece spent quite a bit of time in the bathroom crying because she couldn't understand why I was there if I didn't want to be. I never told her I didn't want to be a part of things. I simply told them that I needed to step back.

I am going to bed and try not to get anymore worked up than I am. Thanks for letting me vent.

Lynn5700
07-28-2007, 01:58 PM
I can not believe that he is the one behind all the drama.My gosh I hope you take a nice long nap and wake up refreshed,you must be going through soo much stress.

Maggimus
07-28-2007, 02:22 PM
Holy Moly-- he sounds very manipulative-- and to do this during his wedding - i can only imagine what the future holds. GL to your neice-- i think shes going to need it more than you are!! I hate that you were crapped on like that. I know your intentions were good...:hug: Hugs to you-- isnt today the big day? Hope it goes well... as well as it can at this point.

JonetteA
07-28-2007, 02:28 PM
Sometimes family is just out of control! *HUGS* I say do what is right for your baby, and just forget about the rest. You did more than your fair share, and I hate that it is not appreciated! *HUGS*

DVCGirl49
07-28-2007, 06:53 PM
I don't even know what to say.....what can one say about the ridiculousness and drama:headache: ....particularly after all the time and effort you put into this! Very shocking and disturbing that the groom is the instigator of all this and lying about it to boot!:sad2:

I hope your little one is okay, of all timing to get a hold of the ear meds! :grouphug: Let us know what else happens, unfortunately it sounds that there may be more drama ahead. Good for you though taking the stand on having them sort out the rest of the details since they decided to change everything at the last minute! It is definitely not being petty, you did your part making sure that everything was plnned/put toether/etc....they messed it up by chaning it at the last hour....so they can and should have to do all the arrangements for the changes to be done.

Disneygirl0259
07-28-2007, 09:41 PM
Wow....


I am so shocked that all this happened. Kudos to you for handling all the presssure. Dont worry WHAT GOES AROUND COMES AROUND.

Glorydaz
07-29-2007, 01:33 PM
in spite of all their stupidity, I hope your daughter had a spectacular day - thank god her innocence rises above this garbage.....many many :hug: to you and yours from me and mine.

Michelle :cloud9:

desiab
07-29-2007, 05:21 PM
*****

Beth E. (NJ)
07-30-2007, 07:21 PM
I'm still waiting on the rest of the drama! ;)

myprincessgirlisa
07-30-2007, 07:53 PM
wow i cant believe this groom did all this lying & your niece still married him....i hope he doesnt make this habit worse in their marriage!!!

You hung in there & did great....glad to here your2yr old is ok!!!

would love to hear more!!:goodvibes

DisneyFairy19
07-31-2007, 10:01 AM
WOW I am so sorry to hear.. Good Luck.. I hope everything works well for you

desiab
07-31-2007, 11:06 AM
****

Glorydaz
07-31-2007, 11:12 AM
[/B] I am waiting until they come back off of their honeymoon in about two weeks to give him my bill!



:rotfl2: :rotfl2: :rotfl2:

Michelle :cloud9: ps/ no photos of your daughter????

desiab
07-31-2007, 11:23 AM
Michelle :cloud9: ps/ no photos of your daughter????

All of the pictures of my daughter are on my niece's camera. Right before the wedding my husband moved my camera and no one could find it before I had to leave. Once I got to the wedding I had to wait for him to get there and when he did my camera batteries go dead! The extra set were in the back of the hall with our bags. :headache: So I just grabbed my niece's camera while she was doing the video and started snapping.

BayouPrincess
07-31-2007, 12:22 PM
:rotfl2: :rotfl2: :rotfl2:


I came to this thread as the drama began to unfold, and I must say, you have been an exemplary lady thoughout this whole thing. I can't say the same for myself if I were in your situation. I'm glad the groom decided he should appologize to you, that's the very LEAST he could do after all the lies. My goodness!

I can't wait to see pictures of your little girl in her pretty dress.
:cheer2: KUDOS to you for keeping your cool in the hot south!

:grouphug:

desiab
08-01-2007, 10:12 PM
I came to this thread as the drama began to unfold, and I must say, you have been an exemplary lady thoughout this whole thing. I can't say the same for myself if I were in your situation. I'm glad the groom decided he should appologize to you, that's the very LEAST he could do after all the lies. My goodness!

I can't wait to see pictures of your little girl in her pretty dress.
:cheer2: KUDOS to you for keeping your cool in the hot south!

:grouphug:

Trust me when I say that I did not always want to act like a lady!

Just adding some pictures of my adorable child!

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v723/desiab/Sarah/SarahWedding053.jpg
Another DIY project by my SIL Darlene. This is not a very good picture, but the baskets
were really pretty.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v723/desiab/Sarah/sarahwedding095.jpg

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v723/desiab/Sarah/sarahwedding047.jpg
This is her driving her daddy crazy during the ceremony.

LuluLovesDisney
08-01-2007, 11:50 PM
Those little ones are just incredibly adorable- you just want to give them a hug! - and your work is beautiful!

princessdisneybelle
08-01-2007, 11:54 PM
Great job! You were and are a very classy lady through all of this drama. The little girls are precious!

Glorydaz
08-02-2007, 06:12 AM
oh my, your daughter is absolutely precious!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and she looks like a miniature princess in that gown! I'm glad for you that it's all done with :hug: you truly were the better person in this drama!

Michelle :cloud9:

desiab
08-02-2007, 09:11 AM
Those little ones are just incredibly adorable- you just want to give them a hug! - and your work is beautiful!

Lulu, thank you for the compliments on my daughter and my nieces. As a family we are trying to raise confident girls, but as cute as they are I think we will end up with conceited ones! :) I can't take credit for the taking the last three pictures. The father of the last three nieces took those.

Great job! You were and are a very classy lady through all of this drama. The little girls are precious!

Laura, I believe in the light of everything that has happened in the last few days, I could say the same for you. :thumbsup2

oh my, your daughter is absolutely precious!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and she looks like a miniature princess in that gown! I'm glad for you that it's all done with :hug: you truly were the better person in this drama!

Michelle :cloud9:

Michelle, my daughter has told everyone she comes in contact with that she was Cinderella in the wedding. Then on the way home last night she told her father and I that she wants to go to Disney World. We have created a monster!

myprincessgirlisa
08-02-2007, 09:54 AM
i hope your talk goes well

your DD is absolutely adorable!!!

she has the cutest smile...she knows how to work a camera
:goodvibes

mla1977
08-02-2007, 11:15 AM
I hope the talk goes well.

Is it just me, or does anyone else not see this marriage lasting. I can see how your niece would still want to get married, but her husband's behavoir could be a sign of things to come.

HarbinsMom
08-02-2007, 11:41 AM
What a gorgeous baby! She is so precious.

LUV2DZNEE
08-02-2007, 12:56 PM
Your daughter is absolutely adorable! She seems to be very comfortable with the Princess role. princess: I think you'd better start planning her DFTW!!!

desiab
08-02-2007, 01:13 PM
i hope your talk goes well

your DD is absolutely adorable!!!

she has the cutest smile...she knows how to work a camera
:goodvibes

My little one--she loves having her picture taken.

[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT]What a gorgeous baby! She is so precious.

Thank you!

Your daughter is absolutely adorable! She seems to be very comfortable with the Princess role. princess: I think you'd better start planning her DFTW!!!

I do believe that it would be a dream come true for this momma if one of my daughters decided to marry at Disney. :love: It would be my DH's worse nightmare! :eek: I have already told my 12 year old that if she sees that in her future to please let us know so we can start saving for it. I just hope whoever she marries sees it the same way.

BayouPrincess
08-02-2007, 01:39 PM
I have to agree with one of the other posters here. Your daughter seems to be quite comfortable in the princess role princess: . She is absolutely gorgeous.

I would take a few deep breaths if you have to have this "talk". I will send you good thoughts and deep cleansing breaths. And a big ole' southern girl hug! :grouphug: