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View Full Version : I'm worried now!!


hisprincess
07-25-2007, 09:35 PM
Oh man, I just found out all of these different people on here were not happy w/rev. jack day! When I was looking for an officiant, everything I found stated otherwise, and now I am very worried! I am a control freak, there is no way getting around it, and if I sent him the ceremony that I decided on and wanted and he didn't do it I would be Furious because there are little things i added or excluded for personal reasons to us. AAHH :scared1:

hiwaygal
07-25-2007, 09:57 PM
If I were in your shoes, I think I would have a conversation with Rev. Jack (either via email or phone). Explain to him about those things that are important to you in your ceremony and why. Let him know that you have heard "less than stellar" reviews and you are concerned. (If he doesn't know there's a problem, he can't fix it!;) )

If you don't like his response or don't want to do that, you still have time to change your mind and consider another officiant.

Personally, I really think if you let him know about your concerns, he will most likely do whatever he can to make it right for you!

hisprincess
07-25-2007, 10:08 PM
Thanks, that helps make me feel better. It's not like they are big deal things really, but I guess I look at it as it's my wedding and I feel it should be how I want it. For example, I am sensitive about the way we are introduced as husband and wife and the whole 'giving away' statement. I will definetly make sure that I talk to him, when I originally talked to him over the phone in march, he seemed more than accomodating, so hopefully that continues for myself and DF.

Now that I have read some advice from Karen, I will check and check and check w/him to make sure its right. I'll even bring a copy on the wedding day if neccessary since we don't have a rehearsal dinner!

Oh man, I'm going crazy bridezilla now, arn't I!??

luv4mylittleones
07-26-2007, 07:29 AM
I feel the same way. I am so nervous. I really cut up the ceremonies he sent and pieced them back together to suit us. I also added a whole ring ceremony for the children...I pray things go according to plan or I'll be devastated.

StitchBride
07-26-2007, 07:37 AM
If it helps, I cut up all his ceremonies, pieced it back together, added a rabbi and he still did a great job, followed it to the T. I haven't read the other reviews but maybe it was an anomoly

HTH

luv4mylittleones
07-26-2007, 07:49 AM
If it helps, I cut up all his ceremonies, pieced it back together, added a rabbi and he still did a great job, followed it to the T. I haven't read the other reviews but maybe it was an anomoly

HTH

Thanks so much...that's really reassuring to hear. :goodvibes

DisneyFairy19
07-26-2007, 08:32 AM
Wow I am really surprised because I have heard nothing but AMAZING things about Rev Day... I hope you get this fixed....:hug:

ForKeeps
07-26-2007, 08:39 AM
I think denise is right on the money. With us, I didn't take my DH's name, so I didn't want to be introduced as "Mr. and Mrs." so I didn't include it in my write up.

BUT I didn't tell him that that was important to me. So he added it in at the end. He just didn't know that I didn't want that. It wasn't a big deal, but it is true that he does take liberties unless you specifically tell him that it's important to stick to the script.

He was very much in control of the situation, which actually made me feel better in the end, because as an intimate, without a rehersal, I was glad to have someone guide me through.

But I remember Fairy Tale Bride didn't like that at all. Like Denise says, have a candid conversation with him and let him know your concerns.

GL!

hisprincess
07-26-2007, 11:28 AM
If it helps, I cut up all his ceremonies, pieced it back together, added a rabbi and he still did a great job, followed it to the T. I haven't read the other reviews but maybe it was an anomoly

HTH


Thats great to hear, thank you very much!:hug:

hisprincess
07-26-2007, 11:31 AM
I think denise is right on the money. With us, I didn't take my DH's name, so I didn't want to be introduced as "Mr. and Mrs." so I didn't include it in my write up.

BUT I didn't tell him that that was important to me. So he added it in at the end. He just didn't know that I didn't want that. It wasn't a big deal, but it is true that he does take liberties unless you specifically tell him that it's important to stick to the script.

He was very much in control of the situation, which actually made me feel better in the end, because as an intimate, without a rehersal, I was glad to have someone guide me through.

But I remember Fairy Tale Bride didn't like that at all. Like Denise says, have a candid conversation with him and let him know your concerns.

GL!

Thats good to know. That is one thing I am concerned about, I don't want to be introduced as Mr. and Mrs. His name, I feel like it just completely takes away my identity, and I don't want it asked who 'gives me away' because I am a person, not a possesion that can be given away, I am not owned by anybody, HELLO, haha. I'll just have to let him know those things.

purplegirl247
07-26-2007, 11:41 AM
Thats good to know. That is one thing I am concerned about, I don't want to be introduced as Mr. and Mrs. His name, I feel like it just completely takes away my identity, and I don't want it asked who 'gives me away' because I am a person, not a possesion that can be given away, I am not owned by anybody, HELLO, haha. I'll just have to let him know those things.

I felt the same way about the "who gives this woman" bit. I felt like it was asking my dad to sever our relationship and since I'm SUCH a daddy's girl, I didn't feel comfortable with that. Instead, we had our officiant (not Rev. Day; just a friend of ours with a notary license) say: "The couple asked that we forego the line “who gives this woman” and instead opted for more inclusive wording. To that end, who shares this woman with your family, making her as one of your own? {look to DH's family} Who shares this man with your family, making him as one of your own? {look to my family}" We told everyone ahead of time that they were meant to say "I do" at the appropriate time. Felt like the audience got to have a say as well!

GL with your ceremony!

KT27
07-26-2007, 11:45 AM
I pieced together ceremonies, added our own touch & he followed it exactly!

myprincessgirlisa
07-26-2007, 12:42 PM
ok...i feel really dumb right now....i had rev jack when we got married & i cant honestly remember a WORD he said:lmao:

but then again it WAS 10yrs ago ;)

im sure if you express the importance of some things to him & remind him just before the big day....you should be fine....wow....i just wondered something....if DFTW does over 3000 weddings a year....how many do the officiants do???

Anyway
good luck & im sure it will be fine:goodvibes

Boo0105
07-26-2007, 01:36 PM
I also had Rev. Day, I pieced together different parts of the ceremony and he did it exactly like I asked. Inside the book that he carries he had a copy of the ceremony that I sent him and it was highlighted and had notes. So if you let him know what you want and don't want it shouldn't be a problem.

hisprincess
07-26-2007, 01:48 PM
I felt the same way about the "who gives this woman" bit. I felt like it was asking my dad to sever our relationship and since I'm SUCH a daddy's girl, I didn't feel comfortable with that. Instead, we had our officiant (not Rev. Day; just a friend of ours with a notary license) say: "The couple asked that we forego the line “who gives this woman” and instead opted for more inclusive wording. To that end, who shares this woman with your family, making her as one of your own? {look to DH's family} Who shares this man with your family, making him as one of your own? {look to my family}" We told everyone ahead of time that they were meant to say "I do" at the appropriate time. Felt like the audience got to have a say as well!

GL with your ceremony!


Thats a good idea! I am really a daddy's girl too, in fact, sometimes I still call him daddy and I'm 22 years old. Pathetic I know, please don't laugh about it too much!:scared: Anyway, I really like that, and if you don't mind, I may do something along those lines for our ceremony.:flower3:

hisprincess
07-26-2007, 01:52 PM
ok...i feel really dumb right now....i had rev jack when we got married & i cant honestly remember a WORD he said:lmao:

but then again it WAS 10yrs ago ;)

im sure if you express the importance of some things to him & remind him just before the big day....you should be fine....wow....i just wondered something....if DFTW does over 3000 weddings a year....how many do the officiants do???

Anyway
good luck & im sure it will be fine:goodvibes

This really brings me back to reality that in 10 years I probably won't remember what exactly was even said, and its not going to be the end of the world or ruin everything if it doesn't go exactly as planned.

Those officiants must be pretty busy! I can't imagine how many weddings they probably end up doing, because I'm sure they may do weddings other than at disney too.

Everybody else, thanks for the support and advice it is greatly appreciated. If you all want to keep this thread alive about concerns or ideas related to officiants, go for it.:goodvibes

purplegirl247
07-26-2007, 01:54 PM
Thats a good idea! I am really a daddy's girl too, in fact, sometimes I still call him daddy and I'm 22 years old. Pathetic I know, please don't laugh about it too much!:scared: Anyway, I really like that, and if you don't mind, I may do something along those lines for our ceremony.:flower3:

No problem. Consider it a gift from one daddy's girl to another! :thumbsup2

pixie08
07-26-2007, 03:32 PM
We absolutely loved Rev day as did our whole family! We wrote our whole ceremony (uisng parts of his and our own things as well) and he followed it to a tee! We just emailed him our ceremony and brought a hard copy to the rehearsal!

figmentfan814
07-26-2007, 04:09 PM
I felt the same way about the "who gives this woman" bit. I felt like it was asking my dad to sever our relationship and since I'm SUCH a daddy's girl, I didn't feel comfortable with that. Instead, we had our officiant (not Rev. Day; just a friend of ours with a notary license) say: "The couple asked that we forego the line “who gives this woman” and instead opted for more inclusive wording. To that end, who shares this woman with your family, making her as one of your own? {look to DH's family} Who shares this man with your family, making him as one of your own? {look to my family}" We told everyone ahead of time that they were meant to say "I do" at the appropriate time. Felt like the audience got to have a say as well!

GL with your ceremony!

Even though I'm not using Rev. Day I'm glad I read this posting. (One of our former ministers lives in the Jacksonville area and we are paying for a room for him to come over to perform our ceremony.) My DF and I are suppose to be going over our ceremony options this weekend and these were some areas that I was concerned about for our wedding too.

Luvndisney
07-26-2007, 05:25 PM
i was completely pleased with Rev jack. we cut and pasted so many different things and he did everything perfectly. the best advice is if there is something that will bother you if it it left out BOLD it and speak to him to make sure he understands its importance.

17march2005
07-26-2007, 08:31 PM
We had Rev. Day and he was awesome.
We wrote every word of our ceremony and it was extremely long. Our ceremony was almost 50 minutes long. Rev Day said everything we wrote.
The only things he added was a comment about how great it was we included our children and how we had done an amazing job writing the entire ceremony ourselves. At the beginning he told our family and friends to listen carefully to our vow because the words were carefully chosen.

We also didn't like the giving away part because the woman is not property so we wrote:

Presentation of the Bride
Others would ask, at this time, who gives the bride in marriage, but, as a woman is not property to be bought or sold, given and taken, I ask simply if she comes of her own free will.

Denise, is it true you come of your own free will and accord?
[Denise] Yes it is true.

SRUAlmn
07-26-2007, 10:25 PM
Oh no!!!! Look what I did!! I'm so sorry to worry you girls!! That's the last thing I wanted to do. :guilty:

It's tough to give you advice. I was OVERLY organized and even had copies of the ceremony I sent him to give him on the day of the wedding and things still went wrong. The good news, however, is that I didn't take my DH's last name and asked not to be introduced as Mr and Mrs his last name and he remembered that. I was so glad! I wish I could say the same for our DJ :rolleyes:

SRUAlmn
07-26-2007, 10:27 PM
i was completely pleased with Rev jack. we cut and pasted so many different things and he did everything perfectly. the best advice is if there is something that will bother you if it it left out BOLD it and speak to him to make sure he understands its importance.

I tried that too...bold, highlighted with a YELLOW highlighter, and spoken to him. It sounds like he can be very touch and go??

hisprincess
07-26-2007, 10:50 PM
Oh no!!!! Look what I did!! I'm so sorry to worry you girls!! That's the last thing I wanted to do. :guilty:

It's tough to give you advice. I was OVERLY organized and even had copies of the ceremony I sent him to give him on the day of the wedding and things still went wrong. The good news, however, is that I didn't take my DH's last name and asked not to be introduced as Mr and Mrs his last name and he remembered that. I was so glad! I wish I could say the same for our DJ :rolleyes:

Oh no, I didn't mean to make you feel bad or anything! I read your report and started looking at other people comments about him and the fact that you weren't the only one is what concerned me. Aw don't be sorry about it, now I just look at it as I am prepared for the possibilities of what may happen. I am sorry that everything didn't go as planned for you on your day, you really seem like such a sweet geniuene (sp) person and I was hoping for the best for you on your day!

SRUAlmn
07-26-2007, 11:04 PM
Oh no, I didn't mean to make you feel bad or anything! I read your report and started looking at other people comments about him and the fact that you weren't the only one is what concerned me. Aw don't be sorry about it, now I just look at it as I am prepared for the possibilities of what may happen. I am sorry that everything didn't go as planned for you on your day, you really seem like such a sweet geniuene (sp) person and I was hoping for the best for you on your day!

Thank you :) It's so hard on here because you want to give people all the information so they can make an informed decision, but then you get people who already decided all worried! I just know that when I was planning all I saw were rave reviews and then as soon as I commented about something negative, all the truth came out of the woodwork and I wished I had heard it sooner. I'm sure everything will be fine, just be OVERLY prepared, take copies of everything, ask to see his copy at the rehearsal and make sure it matches,if not, give him your copy, then you'll be fine :)

disneyheaven
07-27-2007, 06:02 AM
I had a wonderful experience with Rev. Day. My family and I still talk about him and how much we alll loved him :love: Mark and I wrote our entire wedding ceremony, by hand, and he followed it exactly!! It's funny...we spent so long picking out the exact lines we wanted, I can look back now, watch my video, and say everyword right along with Rev. Day :happytv: I love it!!

It is unfortunate that some people did a bad experience, but I think overall, he is a truly talented man. The only thing I can suggest is to keep yourself ogranized and make sure he knows important details (one thing he did forget was that Mark's parents are divorsed and during the rehearsal he forgot and pushed them together to hold hands as they went up to light the unity candle. They were both sort of embarrased, and i was embarrased as well, because I had told him and Karen that a million times :confused3 )

And yet, during the actual ceremony, they ended up holding hands anyway and it was really really sweet :hug: They are still good freinds and it was nice as they walked, united, to light the candle.

Overall, we were very very pleased with Rev. Day, and I hope you will be too

(but, keep in mind, that everyone's own experiences are BOUND to be different....for example, I had NEVER heard a complaint about using Disney for my limo service..I didnt think it was anything to worry about. I didnt second guess that aspect one bit. :rolleyes1 And what happened?? They forgot to pick me up on my wedding day and I missed most of my picture time with Randy and was late to my own wedding! :confused3 ) So even though someone or something gets GREAT reviews, doesnt mean it will work out prefectly. I just pray that your "bumps" are small and you are able to surpass them without any problems :flower3: Best wishes and good luck!!! :bride:

purplegirl247
07-27-2007, 08:51 AM
We also didn't like the giving away part because the woman is not property so we wrote:

Presentation of the Bride
Others would ask, at this time, who gives the bride in marriage, but, as a woman is not property to be bought or sold, given and taken, I ask simply if she comes of her own free will.

Denise, is it true you come of your own free will and accord?
[Denise] Yes it is true.

Oooh, that's a good way of writing it too!